Episode 18 - Mindsets For (and Pitfalls to) Your Success and Learning
In this episode of Evolutionary Sales, Jason continues the series on mindsets.
In this episode he drills down on the idea that you are 100% responsible for your experience of your experience, which gives rise to your emotional &“atmosphere&”. In doing so, he teaches you the &“chain of meaning&” and how the process of interpretation and adding personal meanings are both access points you can tap into for your emotional choice&—and eventual freedom.
He also points you to a series of articles he has written to assist you in fleshing out this process and training your mind.
Jason McClain: Welcome to Evolutionary Sales. I’m your host Jason McClain and your guide in the 21st century marketplace.
Jason McClain: You should listen to essential how much of this information you should consume at one sitting. It of course varies for everyone, but the idea is to challenge yourself, especially if you’re highly cognitively developed or you been in really competitive or academic or professional environments where you had to know the right answer.
Jason McClain: So lets really unpack this, I call it the Chain of Meaning. So, there’s the event and then there’s your interpretation of the event. Resulting from your interpretation of the event is your emotional reaction.
Jason McClain: Last week we began a series on mind sets, the first one being analogue versus binary or to what degree or inside nunigration, however you want to think about it. Then we answered a listener question about it, how you should listen to, essentially how much of this information you should consume at one sitting. It of course varies for everyone, but the idea is to challenge yourself, especially if you’re highly cognitively developed or you been in really competitive or academic or professional environments where you had the right answer. Or even if you grew up in that kind of childhood where you had to get it right. Then challenge yourself to look at where you have not integrated it. Where other, what other context or what other demands could you incorporate the learning’s into, where haven’t you applied it yet? And really it’s not have you applied it or not, it’s to what degree. So that’s the first mindset. The second mindset I’m going to challenge you with is something that we have gone over before kind of in passing, and that is that you are 100 percent responsible for the results and for your experience that you are having, or as I like to say, your experience of your experience. ‘Cause there’s really the thing itself, and then there’s your relationship to it. You know, we could have a recession or a depression, which is a certain calculus of various economic indicators and certain variables and numbers and blah, blah, blah. And what do you make that mean, what’s your relationship to it, what’s your interpretation of it, how does it impact, what’s your emotional reaction when you heart that news, what do you make it mean, and then what’s the resulting atmosphere that you’re surrounded by as a result? So lets really unpack this, I call it the Chain of Meaning. So there’s the event and then there’s your interpretation of the event. Resulting from your interpretation of the event is your emotional reaction, the initial sensations, the “uh”, or the “ha”, or the “ooh”, or the whatever it may be. And then, particularly if it’s negative, there’s something suppressive or oppressive about the atmosphere, there’s what you made it mean about you personally. Then, as a result of what you made it mean personally, there is your atmospheric condition or your emotional experience, not just reaction but experience. Lets unpack this, lets us something that, you know, most of you are probably doing, which is a phone call. Lets say you’re making a bunch of phone calls and you’re just not producing the results you want to produce, you’re not getting the kind of responses you’re looking to get and you just have a horrible day statistically on the phone, and you go home and maybe you feel really heavy, maybe you feel reluctant to pick up the phone for the rest of the afternoon, there’s all sorts of way in which you could respond and you end up with an atmosphere around you of just, you know, despair or hopelessness or frustration or annoyance or fear about some impending financial obligation or whatever it may be. But especially with the heavier ones, you know. Let’s say you’re just, just hopeless about this, “Uh, gosh”, and, or maybe you’re really clear that you’re taking it personally. If we back up, okay so here’s the atmosphere of despair or of hopelessness or of resignation maybe, we back up, well what are you making it mean about yourself or about your business? And you can bet that underneath that atmosphere is something like, “Well, you know, I’m always going to be ineffective”, or “I’m never going to be successful at this”, or “You know, people just don’t like me”, or “I’m a bad salesperson. I’m not doing this effectively”, or even worse, “I’m a bad person because I’m not doing this effectively”. Now those of you that have already chosen to discard this off saying, “Oh, I never do that”, I’ve had a few clients who’ve said the same thing, and underneath it all if there’s an atmosphere, some sort of suppressive atmosphere, oppressive atmosphere, hopeless atmosphere, something heavy sensationally, you are doing this, it’s just out of your awareness. So your job is to bring it into awareness. And so, you know, what are you making it mean? What does it mean for you, or about you or about your business that you’re, and then you fill in the blank with however you’re interpreting it. And how are you interpreting it? Is it rejection? Is that what you’re calling it? Are you characterizing it as rejection? Which of course wouldn’t exactly have me dance a jig if I were to interpret it that way. And to build in behavioral flexibility and interpretive flexibility you have to come up with at least 3 alternative interpretations. It could be rejection. It could be that you’re, you could call at a different time of day to be more effective. It could be, and the truth is it doesn’t mean anything about you personally and will eventually get you to train your mind to get to that place of total freedom where you realize, well what does it mean that people aren’t saying yes to you, well it means you’re, people aren’t saying yes to you. That’s all that it means. How should you characterize or interpret it? Well you should characterize and interpret it as, you know, you’ve only made three contacts in a hundred dials, not that you’re getting rejected or not that no one’s there or not that, you know, you’re calling at the wrong time of day even. But even more neutral, even more empowering, is simply that, well the way you interpret three contacts out of a hundred is that you’ve made three contacts out of a hundred. You can go and troubleshoot further, but be very careful about characterizations. In the descriptive domain you’ve got freedom. In the characterization, in the diminutive characterizations, then you’re going to have judgments and far more likely to have an emotional reaction. It doesn’t serve you. So I’m going to encourage you by the way to read the episode page and to also read a link to an articles Emotional Freedom Techniques, that is on the blog, both at Personal Life Media and at evolutionaryawareness.com, and consider the article a companion to this podcast and reread those ideas, and consider this something that’s happening all the time unconsciously. There’s the event. Next in line comes your interpretation of the event or your characterization. From your characterization, that gives rise to emotional reaction. You may even go further and make it something personally meaningful about you, make it mean something about you. If it’s something like shame that you’re feeling, then we actually know with great certainty that you are making it mean something about your very value as a human being. And the truth is nobody can take away your value as a human being except for you. Only you can do that. And if you’re not that internally involved in it, well we’ll get you there. So, first I just want to remind you that we negotiated a couple of affiliate deals for you, so if you go to 123nlp.com, that’s 123nlp.com, that’s one of the most comprehensive depots for both training, as well as training products, books, tapes, for an early linguistic program in this wonderful, wonderful field that’s been developed that is a regular store house of distinctions for the structure of your subjective experience to give you more emotional freedom and more access and greater skills as a communicator. Additionally, if you got to audiopodcast.com/sales, now that’s your special URL for audible.com so that you can get additional discounts off of their huge library of everything from fiction to personal development. When you go to 123nlp.com be sure to use the promo code ‘sales’ if you buy anything and you’ll get an additional discount. I’m Jason McClain, your host and your guide in the 21st century marketplace. Once again it’s a pleasure to contribute to you. Thank you for listening. For any questions about this podcast or any podcast in this series, email me at [email protected], there’s 2 L’s in personallifemedia.com. If you want these to continue and if you have found these podcasts of value, the way you can repay me is by asking me questions, and I don’t care how smart or how silly you think the question is, there’s probably a thousand other people asking it because thousands and thousands and thousands of people have downloaded these podcasts at this point. So I need your questions if you want these to continue, and if you want to restore equity to the relationship. For transcripts of this show or any other show on the Personal Life Media Network, visit personallifemedia.com and again there’s 2 L’s in personallifemedia.com. I look forward to speaking to you next week.