Episode 63 - The Shaman Method of Sacred Sexual Healing (Part One) with Kamala Devi
Hear Dr. Patti chat with Kamala Devi, co-author of Sacred Sexual Healing (along with Baba Dez Nichols), about what it takes to be a healer, and, to be healed. Learn what is a daka (male tantric healer) and a dakini (female sexual healer). What is a shamanic healing tradition? Why go outside western medicine? Learn why healing and being “healed” is so important as on ongoing process that is a part of the normal, natural life cycle, and not just for “sick” people.
What are some of the symptoms that might indicate that you would benefit from shamanic healing? How do body, mind, heart, and spirit all contribute to sexuality? Why is the orgasmic energy so important…. even if your problem is about orgasm? What is one practice you do to get the orgasmic energy flowing more smoothly? Listen as Kamala describes a session with a woman who comes in with a problem with low libido and be a fly on the wall as you hear a professional at work. Find out how Kamala’s and Dez’s new book empowers everyone to be a healer if they so choose, in the privacy of their own home.
Transcript
Transcript
Announcer: This program is intended for mature audiences only.
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Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking’ show, I’m your host Dr. Patti Taylor of ExpandedLovemaking.com, and I teach you how to make excusive love. This is part one of a two part show.
Today we’re talking about Shaman method of ‘Sacred Sexual Healing’. How many of us have experienced upsetting traumas that shop later in our bodies, minds, hearts and spirits.
Fortunately today, skilled Shaman practitioners help us release these wounds. Do you think our own minds, bodies, hearts, spirits and sexual energies, here is to tell us more about this practice is our guest Kamala Devi.
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Dr. Patti Taylor: Shamanism is probably the most ancient ‘Religion’ I would call it, but it's more of a spirituality than a doctrine and when I say ‘Ancient’ it's like prêt urged, prehistoric on all across the globe, where we have evidence of shit-like witch doctors and healers and mystics, that’s all a form of shamanism.
Sexuality is so deep and Cora tissue [sp] we are, humans are sexual beings. When we experience like these challenges and what we think is our normal sexual performance, the medical and psychological paradigms don’t really have great empress for that, it's like, “Oh here, take Viagra or take this pills or that”, but it's really not helping that person in their full expression that just creates, the dependence on the medical associations.
What’s so great about orgasm, and beyond that it feels really wonderful. It is probably the most healing, powerful force on the planet.
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Dr. Patti Taylor: Hi! Kamala
Kamala Devi: Hi! Patti
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, welcome to the show.
Kamala Devi: Thank you
Dr. Patti Taylor: So let me tell you, this little bit about Kamala. She is a Shamanic healer and sex and relationship coach. She is also the author, most recently, of the new book, ‘Sexual Healing’, the Shaman method of sex magic, which she has co-authored with Baba Dez Nichols.
She has appeared on national media, she is a public speaker, she is a tantric coach for teachers too. She is located in San Diego, California. Sacred sexual healing is growing trend and our listeners want to learn how to be healers as well as be healed.
So today we’ll find out more about this ancient yet modern art as Kamala shares about orgasmic sexual healing, for both women and men.
Let’s just jump right in. What is a Shaman?
Kamala Devi: Oh! Great, Shaman is probably the most ‘ancient religion’ I would call it, but it's more of a spirituality than a doctrine, and when I say ancient, I mean it's like prêt urged, prehistoric on all across the globe, where we have evidence of shit-like witch doctors and healers and mystics, that’s all a form of shamanism.
There’s all kind of studies that goes way back to Siberians its forty thousand old, but basically, to me shamanism is like the original spiritual, spirituality in all the practices there are of.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Ok great, now how would our listeners think, “Wow! I might have something that might require a shamanic healer”, what might be a symptom?
Kamala Devi: Well, it's kind of interesting because we’re so conditioned in this culture; it's like, “Oh! We have a bladder infection, go to the doctor”. Or get antibiotics, and what this is, is just the holistic alternative saying, “Yeah antibiotics can be helpful for bladder infection”, but the shamanic approach would be looking, what’s the emotional and spiritual cause behind the bladder infection.
Not just bacterial but what’s perhaps the guilt, the shame, the fear that produced the bladder infection as a symptom. And I’m just using that as an example, but it could be any secret sexual wound. So it could be, if you got eastern sections, or an STD or you pandering intercourse.
Any wounding probably had the emotional and spiritual wounds and the shamanic approach will untangle that, we’ll look at some of the holistic causes.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So I’m guessing, ‘go see a doctor but if a doctor doesn’t help, just to be safe, maybe see a doctor. But perhaps with those people who have maybe felt that the western medical tradition hasn’t helped them, this might, I’m being just a generalization here, this might be a great ‘next thing’ to consider.
Kamala Devi: Or alongside whatever you’re already doing, if you want to take it deeper, consider working with a sexual healer.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Now how about ‘sexual traumas’, would they be particularly good for sexual healing. I know that’s an obvious question or not, but I’m just thinking of some sexual things like formant things like premature ejaculation, and woman who can’t have an orgasm?
Kamala Devi: Yeah what’s, sexuality is so deep and Cora tissue [sp] we are, humans are sexual beings. When we experience like these challenges and what we think is our normal sexual performance, the medical and psychological paradigms don’t really have great empress for that, it's like, “Oh here, take Viagra or take this pills or that”, but it's really not helping that person in their full expression that just creates the dependence on the medical associations.
So I feel that it's something about your sex life isn’t fully fulfilling, it's like a red flag, or an arrow pointing to Oh! Let me do some deeper work, let me clear through, and usually once we do the entangling, you find guilt, fear, shame, let me work on that, once I heal that you’ll find that you can expand more into pleasure and greater organism.
Dr. Patti Taylor: You talk about the importance, sex to me, you can’t touch somebody with just your physical being or you body, or your mind or your heart. You touch someone with all of those things and you talk about this in your book, ‘Sacred Sexual Healing’ that how important it is to integrate the body, mind, heart and spirit.
Would you like to talk about that?
Kamala Devi: Absolutely, congruence is when we are totally congruent in all of those realms, than it leads to our full expression, it leads to enlightenment, it leads to deep satisfaction. But sometimes we meet someone and its like, “Wow! There is the sparks and the chemistry and like they’re sexually really great. But maybe emotionally they are not a good listener or they are not a good match, and sure mentally they seem like they’d be a good partner, but there’s some emotional piece that’s missing.
And so, if you’ll relationship with that person and that’s missing then and you making love with them, there is still some piece of you that’s incongruent and it can manifest in some kind of illness or block in your body.
A lot of the work we do is like, if I’m working with a couple, lets work on where your incompatibilities are, and lets work on expanding that and we’ll make it total congruence and feel really open, than the sexual energy can be healing.
The congruence is what makes orgasmic energy flow, but if there is lack of congruence, or if there’s some part of you that is not aligned, then the orgasm, sure you can have a quick release, but it is not really divine experience that we all have as potential.
I’m not talking in obstructions, Patti you’ve probably experienced it first hand, and let’s have our listeners, just that when every thing lines up, how magic and amazing sex can be.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I’m going to just follow through on that, you mentioned the word orgasm, what is it about the orgasmic energy that you feel is so special?
Kamala Devi: Orgasmic energy is what brought us all here, it's the divine spark that creates life, in a not just physiologically in the semen but energetically, that orgasm is that port hole, where spirit comes in to form.
And so if we’re trying to procreate, of course it can be a really sacred conscious conception. While we are creating a baby, with all this consciousness, but if we are not creating a baby, then we can also use this divine energy, this orgasmic energy and use it to heal our bodies, use it to actually rejuvenate our organs and our vital energy.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So, I think your question is essentially like, what so great about orgasm and beyond, that it feels really wonderful. It is probably the most healing, powerful force on the planet.
Okay so we are going to go way deeper into that question, I wanted to stop for a moment and support our sponsors, so please stay with us, this is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am here with Kamala Devi, and we will be right back, I promise.
You can learn more about Kamala at here website, partnerplayshop.com, she is the author of the book, with Baba Dez Nichols, ‘Sacred Sexual Healing’, so please stay with us.
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Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and I am Dr. Patti Taylor, and we’re talking about Shaman method of sacred sexual healing with our guest Kamala Devi. So before the break we were talking about the orgasmic energy, as it is the thing that integrates you and also helps to create the healing.
Do you want to just explain more about that?
Kamala Devi: Yeah, want to back up and state that, sexual healing, people who are listeners like, “[xx], I don’t need any sexual healing, I’m fine” and what I’m talking about is not only, STDs or pain doornail, of course the performance things idea, of premature ejaculation which are all examples, they are all very common examples of sexual wounds.
But what I am talking about is, is that errand, the deeper, more saddled implications of sexual wounding, because we have a culture that says ‘Sex Negative’ that if your religion or if you are religious, damaged, or your spirituality or just social conditioning doesn’t celebrate sex, then there is a chance that you have some reservations about sex and that’s not allowing your full orgasmic potential.
So when I talk about sexual healing it’s not just these medical wounds, but its helping people get to the full flow and potential of what’s possible in mate making.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I think that’s a really beautiful point, so you’re holding back, exactly from your self or your partner in any way from total joyful, self expression and partner expression, then you say healing is in order.
Kamala Devi: Healing is like ‘peeling an onion’ it's like “sure there’s one layer” okay I don’t get bladder infections anymore, but you’re peeling another loved one and it like , “Wow! My sextons is gone up”, and you can keep, keep, keep going deeper and deeper in to this and even when you think, “Oh I feel that sexual issue”, the more sexual healing you do, the more static and more pleasurable and more empowered when you make love.
I would say that some of our listeners would say, “I don’t see how the orgasmic energy is healing, because it's the orgasmic energy, that actually hurt me, because I can’t have an orgasm and therefore I am in pain” and probably very painful for them, to even think about, other people having orgasms and so do you?
That’s such a great pain Patti, it's a huge paradox. So, ironically some of us go through this anxiety, there’s fear, this is like, “I can’t orgasm” and maybe those women who are in-orgasmic are trying to heal their in-orgasmia and are supposed to do with orgasm, it's like great.
That’s acting like a paradox, or compendium [sp].
Dr. Patti Taylor: There’s such a performance pressure out there today in our world for men and women to be organismically perfect.
Kamala Devi: Yeah and that’s what so beautiful about tantra is that the sacred sexual practice of accepting you as you are. This whole path, is journey that I’m describing is one where you come as you are, you practice accepting, what’s up for you, you embrace the shadow, and with the acceptance and the practice of like, we call it holding space, but it's really again, it's non-judgment to whatever’s real for you.
Then we slowly begin to dissolve all of the glue that’s keeping you stuck, wherever you are. Thou the first step of all of this is really just, allowing yourself to be exactly where you are and with breast awareness and then intention, we start moving a little bit closer to more orgasmic energy, and it doesn’t, when I say orgasmic energy I’m not talking about this grand climax like when sharing that sally.
It can just be the little grippers that run up your spine; it can just be that bad. Deep breath that feels good in your genitals, so orgasm can be, like micro orgasm, not just this mind blowing fence and [xx].
Dr. Patti Taylor: Well is it tantric orgasms basically different, the healing orgasm, are they different than regular orgasms then?
Kamala Devi: That’s an awesome question, because I’m going to say regular, there is no such thing as regular orgasm, everybody’s expression is different. Even I have different types of orgasms, all the time, but the regular orgasm, which is a release in your genitals, is, sure it appeals good and it's not bad for you necessarily.
Somebody could make a case as bad for man because they are letting go of their vital chi, but that release in the genitals is not the healing orgasmic energy that we are talking about.
There are levels of and ways to cope with that, and make it stronger, bring more intention to it, bring more awareness to it so that it becomes not just more pleasurable, but actually has greater healing potential.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, well I understand you teaching whole new orgasmic practice, in your book. Breathing the orgasm down to mother earth, is that something that would be helpful.
Kamala Devi: Yeah, so what we do, that’s a little unique, is we take the traditional Dale’s [sp] practice of bringing the orgasm up the spine and we can turn it upside down, and make it really, not only accessible to our readers but also very profound in the body.
So if you’d know anything about ejaculatory control for men, you probably heard it called ejaculatory mastery, ejaculation, conserving the seed. What it is, is instead of ejaculating out the penis, so it's like, this horizontal ejaculation from the sacks outward, you start to vertically raise the orgasm up the spine.
So all the Dale’s [sp] masters talk about different methods to do this, my favorite is the upward draw, where you’re just drawing orgasmic energy as if it were water flowing up, each chakra all the way to the base of the skull and it's rejuvenating the brain with your orgasmic energy, this is a pretty typical Dale’s practice.
You visualize orgasmic energy, like bathing your brain and really rejuvenating your mind. Now that’s where a lot of these practices are trackman.
What we offer, which is sort of doing all of that, and then the next step, that makes a huge difference, in connection it actually helps, who’ve connect to earth, not just transcend to the sky, is now that you’ve brought this energy all the way up your spine, you begin to breath it back down, and I don’t know if you listeners are familiar with this shock was, but essentially you would bring all the orgasmic energy up and then you breath it down to your feeling, your true centre, your heart centre, your power centre, your sex centre, all the way back down to the earth.
It's really quite simple, can be done, once you’ve learned how to do it, in a breath or two, it's very, very powerful. So that’s breathing it down to mother earth, in a nutshell.
Dr. Patti Taylor: So you’re breathing orgasmic energy up, all the way into the top of your head, and then back with the energy back down and out on to the earth, sort of like you said, like a sort of a cycle, in and out.
Kamala Devi: Yeah there is more of circuit to it, so it keeps you really grounded, but the other advantage is that, a lot of men get really aroused and it's like, when they are right about to ejaculate, they are taught to like, “Oh breath it up, breath it up” and when they do so, but they often in the breathing up process loose connection with the woman they are with, or with the partner they are with.
Dr. Patti Taylor: I’ve noticed, [Laughing]
Kamala Devi: Yeah, yeah, you’re making love to him and he’s like “where to go”
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah really
Kamala Devi: bye, bye
Dr. Patti Taylor: Takes a little bit of a short circuit.
Kamala Devi: Yeah, and so this practice, so men’s out of 80 percent of arousal and he’s like “wow! I don’t want to spill over, because I want to continue to pleasure my woman and then ‘Phooey’ like maybe before he even goes up, he breathes it all the way down through his route, down into the mother, down into earth. And the woman is like, ‘Wow!’ he just breathes right through me and he took me with him and it's really deep.
I love that, I love any time you can use breath, rather than holding the breath, maybe it's the very end, you can hold your breath, but anything that, use your breath to manage the flow, I always love that rather than holding the breath.
Dr. Patti Taylor: That sounds like a wonderful thing, we are just going to take another quick breath and after that I’d like to fight talk about, maybe what a real healing secession might look like.
So we are going to take a short break, to support our sponsors, please stay with us, this is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am here with Kamala Devi, and we will be right back.
You can learn more about Kamala at, partnerplayshop.com, she is the author of the book ‘Sacred Sexual Healing’, so please stay with us.
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Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and we are talking about the Shaman method of sacred sexual healing with our guest Kamala Devi.
So I would like to invite you to, give us a picture of a real sexual healing, maybe walk us through like, we don’t have that much time, maybe give our listeners sort of paint out a picture of what it might look like, you go to your partner and you say, “Honey” either that or say “Sure Shaman” someone comes to you, maybe your real life story would be fine too, as a healer.
Someone comes to you, they have a problem, you do certain things, you work with them, you take them all the way through, the circuit and maybe like in five minutes lesson. I might interject few times, but so just so we have an idea of what one looks like, is that possible?
Kamala Devi: Absolutely, but what the standard paradigm is like, “Okay, and lets just take this lot”, lots of things that we could work on.
But lets take a woman who’s libido is down, she’s lost her libido and traditionally, she might go and get tested first, her test austral low, or she might sit on the couch, the therapy couch and talk to a therapist and meanwhile she’s doing all this work and her body is crying out for “what about me?” because it's not the mind and may not be just in the chemistry and so whether she does this practices or not, she’s the alternative which is to seek out a Daka or a Dakini.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Right that’s a Shamanic cure right?
Kamala Devi: Yeah, it's a sacred sexual healer, and a Daka or Dakini is trained in the temple arts or the central arts and what a typical fashion was, if she came to me and, I like to work with people by the way, and it's not just like a quick sex, it's like okay lets work through a period of ninety days together, and the first session might be like let’s sit down, we can meditate, lets get really clear on the intention, like what is that you wanting to get out of this work.
And so, it's a little bit like an energy healing, where I might listen to her guide, or her higher self, whatever you want to call it, and then in that meditation, I might get clear instructions or impulses about where to go and of course I talk with her and get, listen to her sense, because there is no such thing as, a healer, unless the person is doing self healing.
So, I am not really healing anybody, I am just holding space for them to heal themselves. So a lot of times I am listening to what they feel they need and then I have a willingness to go there.
So, she may say, “I’ve lost my libido and I don’t know what’s that all about” and we would do either a couple of energy exercise, maybe I’d do a hands on check into her bear center or dissenters, and if, by the way that like I said it's holistic.
So we might end up working on her heart shock run, never ever touch her genitals. It might be all about some past wound, and we would work on her heart and maybe even activating her breath.
But the one thing that’s really unique, I think about the Sacred Sexual Healers is that we can go into those realms as well. Then she may feel like, her body is changing, do her life changed and she doesn’t feel connected with her yoni, which is the vagina, anymore. She might feel like she’s a stranger.
So I might say, “Alright, let’s look at your yoni, let’s talk about how you feel about it, lets get out of mirror and breath and feel and bring love and attention back into your own genitals” and maybe for her, it arises that, “Gosh, I even don’t even feel that great about touching myself or masturbating anymore, I’ve kind of lost interest in it.
So I might get her to masturbate and coach her and share with her techniques to make that more rewarding, and through a period of time, maybe it's a couple of weeks, where she’s practicing masturbation more regularly and practicing PC exercises and whatever other home works that we decide is really helpful to her.
She could come back and see the progress and usually what happens, this is really amazing is that, in the span of a ninety days period of working with someone sexually, they will actually start to look younger, the genitals themselves will like transform.
Even they get attention, they are like, “Flop up and they look happy and young and then, a woman will have the same affects on her face, just because, hey, she is getting more orgasm or even just getting more attention.
Eventually, whatever that is, she might go into some deeper thing, like “Wow! okay I really feel like I can masturbate now, I am ready to start to learn how to receive”, just maybe her issue is that, whenever somebody is going down on her, she feels insecure and self conscious or doesn’t know how to lay back and surrender.
And so we would do sessions, might go in that direction, and it's really spirit guided, it's not like there is a set curriculum for anybody seeking a secret sexual healer. But the idea is that we are working with spirit and with spirit guides and we are really working with whatever that person’s readiness is.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Well thank you, that’s really beautiful and I am guessing that it would be nice to have her eventually, have the orgasmic energy the part of the healing energy for her.
It sounds like that’s definitely a part of surpass often at least.
Kamala Devi: Yeah,
Dr. Patti Taylor: But not necessarily, but if that put the spirit wishes for her.
Kamala Devi: You got it.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, well thank you, that’s really beautiful and I just want to say, for people that want to do this on their own, your book ‘Sacred Sexual Healing’ is actually a guide for how people can do this with their partner.
Make gives you lots of scripts for people to do this and actually is, one of the beauties of this book is that, I think there is definitely a place for doing this on your own, doing this for the partner, doing this just for both.
There is a place we are going to a Daka or a Dakini definitely and but I also think that it's very appropriate for people to do this for their partners, because we are always growing, through growing ages and so it's a really beautiful book, because it's actually a guide book, for how to do this with your partners.
Kamala Devi: Certainly, thank you, that was our intentions, to make it really practical and lots of home work and lots of step-by-step exercises. So good about you appreciate that.
Dr. Patti Taylor: And I think there is a lot of healing to be done, by everybody, and it's just very beautiful, and I think everybody can be a healer and can use some healing, so you trying to put that out there?
So we’re going to bring this part of the show to the NM Street and find out more about where to get the book at your website which is partnerplayshop.com.
So we are almost coming to an end, I’m going to ask you one more question, which is, what is one very inspiring sort that you like to live with people for the end of this show?
Kamala Devi: Sure, what I want to share is that, all of the healings inside of you, that we get to a place despondency that feels like, “I Can’t, I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how to shift this pattern”, that is within you, this profound divine spark that’s already totally whole, already totally orgasmic, and fully expressed.
And if it doesn’t realize like it's accessible from where you stand right now, then I invite you to pray, which is just, even if you don’t know how you are going to get there, have a dialogue with your divine god, goddess, whatever it is that you call god and ask for support and then, second part of pray of course is listening, stay open to what happens, because that simple act of asking for help, will if you are willing to receive it, totally transform your sex life.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I have sugar, you were beautiful. So thank you so much Kamala for coming on and sharing such inspiring, beautiful words for us today.
Kamala Devi: My pleasure, Namaste.
Dr. Patti Taylor: Namaste, so that brings us to the end of our show, thank you listeners for listening.
Please send me Patti email, at [email protected] and for text and transcripts of this show and other shows from the personal life media network.
Please visit their website at personallifemedia.com. Also please visit me Dr. Patti Taylor at www.expandedlovemaking.com or you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products servitude and avenge.
This is Dr. Patti Taylor and that’s all for now. I remain yours and ever extending lovemaking and I’ll see you next week.
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