Episode 12 - Self Correcting, Part II
This episode we go into the details of how to self-correct. Learn when eating junk food can be a sign of progress, and how to set up first, second and third lines of self-correcting defense so that no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it and bounce back to center.
Renee Stephens: Welcome to Inside Out Weight Loss. I’m your host Renee Stephens. Together we’re accessing the control panel of you mind/body system, and bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey and fullness to the rest of your life. Today on the show we’ll be going into the details of how to make self-correcting a part of your daily life. So go ahead and set your intention for this episode. Drop inside for a moment and become present with you.
Renee Stephens: Self-correcting is about re-balancing. It’s about renewing. It’s about responsible overeating.
Renee Stephens: Just because you’re so used to negatively evaluating your actions and behaviors, doesn’t mean that they have to be negative. It may be that something that you thought was negative is actually a positive.
Renee Stephens: Meet with a coach, a hypnotherapist, a masseur, a healer of some sort, and get professional help because you’re worth it. It’s worth it. As they say, the old adage, “A stitch in time saves nine.” Going to get timely support from a qualified professional will allow you to be back in balance so much quicker than it might be if you isolate yourself.
Renee Stephens: It’s no accident that you’re listening to this show. You’re listening for a reason. There’s something here for you, something important. This is time for you. So wherever you are, whatever you’re doing open yourself up to get exactly what you need to take the next positive step forward. Is your intent for today to experience on or more “Ah ha’s”? Or simply to make the next important step forward in achieving your dream? To experience a breakthrough? To be inspired? Whatever it is go ahead and set it now. My intent with this show is to end the weight struggle and free as many people as possible to live their best lives. My intent in this episode is to enable you to dissolve what’s been holding you back and move clearly into living your dream, because I know it’s possible. I know you deserve it. And I know you can. So far on Inside Out Weight Loss we’ve learned about creating a powerful motivation cocktail and a power of positive intent and meta outcomes for the goal of the goal. We’ve learned how to up our energy levels by resolving internal conflict and creating inner alignment. We even spent an episode going over what foods in your diet will make your journey easier. We also learned what metabolism matching is and why high and low metabolisms don’t really matter that much. We’ve walked through the revolutionary, and yet intuitive naturally slender eating strategy to really get inside the minds of the naturally slender. And we trained our minds to become relentless pleasure seekers so that we can become naturally slender. We also discussed the concept of kaizen, or continuous improvement, to set the frame for lasting progressive iterative change. Change does happen in breakthroughs, yet we can’t have all breakthrough, all the time. It’d be too much for us to process. And so it’s really the everyday incremental improvement, doing those redo’s on a daily basis, running those mental movies, being ever more of who we want to be. And we won’t even get it right every time. And that’s okay, that’s part of a process. Just like a baby learning to walk, we’re going to fall down a few times too. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t have fun while we’re doing it, we can’t appreciate the richness of the learning experience.
Renee Stephens: Last episode, we introduced the concept of self-correcting, and I shared Sally’s inspiring story. Remember that for her there were only about four types of situations that would throw her off. And when she mastered those, she made her binge pattern obsolete. Have you been thinking about the types of situations that trigger you? Is it social outings, being alone at night, afternoon munchies at your desk or the office goodies? Today we’ll be brainstorming how you will self-correct. Remember I don’t care if you overeat or not. I expect you to from time to time. I do. What I do care about is how quickly and easily you bring yourself back into balance when you’re thrown off. Self-correcting is about re-balancing. It’s about renewing. It’s about responsible overeating. Ever thought of that before? I want to train you to be responsible overeaters. That’s right. So that when you do overeat, you’re either going to learn something from it, if you intend to enjoy it that you do enjoy it. And mind you, overeating sometimes isn’t that enjoyable of an experience. Or that you plan to overeat, and overeat only when you plan to. I want you to be a responsible overeater. Learn how to overeat responsibly.
Renee Stephens: I had a client who was very upset that she was, she wasn’t bingeing, but she came into the session and she was quite upset. She said, “You know, I’m not bingeing anymore”, and she happened to be one of my binge eaters, which you probably gather I’ve worked with many of them. And she said, “You know, I’m not binge eating anymore, but, you know, I’m still eating junk food. I want to eat all healthy food all the time.” And I said to her, “Hmm, that’s interesting. You’re not bingeing, which is terrific, but you’re still eating junk food”, and she said, “Yeah, it’s terrible, isn’t it?” I said, “No, it’s great. Congratulations!” Because if you can eat junk food and eat responsibly and eat moderately, then imagine how much easier it’ll be to eat healthy natural foods. Fantastic! We know that your change is really stable because you can eat that kind of food and still eat responsibly and still eat moderately. Not a lot of people can do that. So that’s actually a sign of how thorough your progress is. So think about that. Just because you’re so used to negatively evaluating your actions and behaviors, doesn’t mean that they have to be negative. It may be that something that you thought was negative is actually a positive. So for example, if you go out, I have a lot of clients that come in and they’re very excited because they ate some ice cream, and I had a client, I remember once she came in, she said, “I bought an ice cream cone, it was really good, I ate about half of it, and I got halfway through, and I thought, you know what, I’m not enjoying this anymore”, so she threw it in the trashcan. How cool is that? That’s the kind of thing that naturally slender people do that just confounds us. I remember when I first got together with my husband, he would get, he’d fill up his fork and get it half way to his mouth and decide that he was full and put the fork down, push his plate away and be done. And I looked at him like he had just arrived in a spaceship from another planet. Who is this guy? How can you get the fork halfway to your mouth and not put it, not put it all the way down? But that’s what he did, I never understood it, until now. He self-corrects. He’s in tune with his body. And that’s what we’re learning to do now with Inside Out Weight Loss.
Renee Stephens: We’re going to take a short break now to support our sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you this show. So listen closely and check out what they have to say. You’re listening to Inside Out Weight Loss on personallifemedia.com. We’ll be right back.
Renee Stephens: We’re back now. Before the break we were talking about responsible overeating, and how to train yourself, how to learn how to self-correct, even if it’s bite to bite, day to day, hour to hour. And now I’d like to share with you the three tiers of self-correcting. If you’ve done your homework you know that there are certain types of situations that are triggers for you. Even if you haven’t done it, you can probably think of those types of situations right now, the most common situations for you. And now I want you to think about things a little differently, of course, because that’s what we do on Inside Out Weight Loss, we think of things differently. There are three levels of self-correcting. I like to call them the first, second and third lines of defense. So, self-correcting is about renewing, it’s about rebalancing. And the question is how do you rebalance when you’ve been thrown off? How do you rebalance when you’ve been thrown off? Now as you’re answering that question, think about this for a moment; when is say rebalance, I’m talk not just about how you eat less if you’ve overeaten a little bit or a long, how you starve yourself. I’m talking about how your renew yourself energetically. What are the types of things that you do to renew? What are the types of things that you have in your life? You might think of these as stress relievers, things that you enjoy. And I’ll tell you right now, if you don’t have a number of things in your life that you do because you enjoy them, ideally something every day, then I’m not surprised that you’ve struggled with your weight. Because in order for you to be slim you have to put yourself first, you have to make yourself a priority. You know what they say on the airplanes. We’re back to airplane metaphors now. All the wisdom that I ever learned was sitting in an airplane and hearing them say, “Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping a child or someone next to you”, because if you don’t you won’t be around to help them. So how do you renew? It’s absolutely critical that you have ways to renew and rebalance yourself or you will have nothing to give. So think about that. How do you rebalance yourself energetically, emotionally, spiritually and physically? So the first line of defense in self-correcting involves things that you do on your own. That’s right. These are things that you do, quick and easy, small things that you do on your own that bring you back into balance. Common things that people do in this category might be exercise. So for example one of my clients paddles her way to peace in a kayak. For her fortunately she has a body of water near where she lives, and she can go out kayaking as often as twice a week, and she says the moment she gets out on the water she feels peaceful and renewed. Maybe it’s playing with your dog or your cat that renews you. Other people that I know love to groove away in their dance classes. Or perhaps it’s a weight loss water workout. Stretching in a Pilates class. Hiking in the morning mist near your home. Beating out your issues in boxing class. Going on a beach walk if you’re near, live near the beach or getting out into nature. Biking across the country. Oh wait a minute, I said quick and easy. Scratch that one. But I did have a client who cycled across the country, yes. And if that’s what it takes to self-correct, great, but you may be detained for some time before you get back into balance, so we’re going to focus on ones that are quicker and easier. So what are the things that you do? Exercise is an obvious one. Listening to music, being creative, doing arts and crafts. Do you like to scrapbook or knit or tinker around in the workshop? What is it that you like to do that brings you pleasure? Painting, drawing, going out into nature, swimming, being with a child, a cat. First line of defense self-correcting mechanisms are things that you can do on your own.
Renee Stephens: So, second line of defens,e self-correcting mechanisms. This is when life has thrown you a bit more of a loop, you’re a little bit more off balance, and it’s going to take a little extra effort. Maybe you’ve gone for a walk, maybe you’ve gone for a swim, maybe you’ve done some meditation or listened to some music and you aren’t there yet, you need more. Well second line of self-correcting, second line of defense involves someone else. Not a professional, but a friend, a colleague, interacting with other people. One of my mentors, Robert McDonald of the Telos Healing Center, says that “we’re wounded in community, and so we’re healed in community.” Often times we need to reach outside of ourselves to be healed, to be supported. So what are some of the things that you can do, second line of defense, self-correcting, to bring yourself back into balance? Well one of them you’re doing right now; listening to the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast show. You could join the Inside Out Weight Loss Yahoo group, post a message, support someone else, connect with others, ask on the group if there’s someone who’d like to be your support buddy. Talk to a friend. Take a class in something fun. Go to a comedy club and laugh it out. Attend a spiritual group. And if you’re not religious, go to a church and just drink in the, the peaceful atmosphere where other people are. These are second line of defense self-correcting mechanisms. Speaking to a friend over the phone. They always involve someone else. Because we’re wounded in community and we’re healed in community.
Renee Stephens: So what’s the third line of defense in self-correcting, when life really throws you a loop and you’re way out of balance? That’s right. Go get professional help. Meet with a coach, a hypnotherapist, a masseur, a healer of some sort, and get professional help, because you’re worth it. It’s worth it. As they say, the old adage, “A stitch in time saves nine”, going to get timely support from a qualified professional will allow you to be back in balance so much quicker than it might be if you isolate yourself. It’s simply in the asking for help sometimes that we are most healed. I know many of my clients will, who are on our “Call me if you need me” basis at this point, they might’ve been, I remember one client, she had been doing great for a year and then her work situation changed, she was working long hours, and she found herself overeating again, and she didn’t know what was up. She tried and tried, and she wasn’t getting herself back into balance, so she came in for a session. We found out some underlying issues that hadn’t yet been resolved in her earlier work, we addressed those issues, we resolved them, she went back and she was immediately right back on track, one short session later. Even though she had felt completely out of whack before she came in. And there are many wonderful professionals out there. And I suggest that if you don’t already have some in your, I guess it’s not a rolodex these days, in your PDA or your online address book, that you identify some. Ask for referrals from friends, find out who might be available to help you self-correct when you need it. Because the third line of defense, self-correcting, involves someone else.
Renee Stephens: We’re almost out of time today. But before we go I bet you can guess what I’m going to suggest that you do to accelerate your learning. I had a client the other day, he came in and I said, “And I’ll be giving you homework assignments.” And he said, “Homework? Ooh, yuck, I hate homework. That reminds me of school”, which is funny because this is a guy who was a voracious learner. He’s always taking classes and loves to learn. But he just had a negative association with the word ‘homework’. It reminded him of some experiences in school. So I thought for a moment, I said, “Okay, what are we going to call it?” So we decided to call them ‘accelerated learning assignments.” And wouldn’t you know it, he completed, he’s been completing them immediately, because he loves the idea of accelerated learning. So whatever you want to call it, your assignment between now and our next show is to go back to your Inside Out Weight Loss journal, you know, the one where you’ve written down the types of trigger situations, and now you’re going to write down your self-correcting mechanisms. If you want to just do a brainstorm, you write down everything that you can think of, and then you can categorize them into first, second and third lines of defense. You might even make a note by the side of them, or if it’s easier for you to think, “What are the things I do alone? What are the things I do with other people? What are the things that I, who are the professionals that I go to see to support me and my healing?” So I want you to write down a list, any which way, just get something down on paper, start brainstorming, “How do I renew? How do I renew.” This is so important. In fact, it’s so important that I do say if you don’t do this, you might find yourself struggling. Because if you don’t know how to rebalance, how to renew yourself, then how will you get back on track? And yet if you do know how you renew, if you have a facility for these first, second and third lines of defense, imagine how easy it will be for you to continually be moving forward, to getting, becoming more and more naturally slender with each day that passes.
Renee Stephens: We come to the end of our show today. Thank you for being present. And by the way, if you didn’t know this already, there’s now a great way for you to support and be supported. Join the Inside Out Weight Loss Yahoo group that’s moderated by a listener. It’s a wonderful way to post questions that you have, post your dreams and allow the rest of the group to share the intent with you of achieving your dreams. Ask a question and have others support you. It’s a wonderful way to participate, to be involved. To join the Inside Out Weight Loss Yahoo group, just go to the blog at www.personallifemedia.com/renee, r-e-n-e-e. On the right hand side of the screen if you scroll down you’ll see the blog roll with a link there to join, as well as links to other resources and sites that I recommend. Also if you have a question for me, I encourage you to call 206-350-5333 and leave a message. I may play your question or comment on the air. I’d love to share your voice with all the listeners that are out there and help inspire others. For other shows on the Personal Life Media network, please visit our website at www.personallifemedia.com. There’s loads of great content to feed your mind, body and spirit. I especially like the sensuality shows because of their psycho spiritual focus. This is your host Renee Stephens, and I am on a mission to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves one step at a time. Take good care. One final note, if you’d like to help me end the weight struggle and free as many people as possible to live their best lives and you have a corporate gathering, event or conference that you’d be interested in having me speak at, please send an email to [email protected]. That’s Renee, r-e-n-e-e, @personallifemedia.com. I look forward to connecting.