Episode 61 - Easy Exercise Motivation, Part II
What if you were a fit person waiting to happen? Guess what-it’s yours for the asking. Learn the big difference in how exercise lovers and exercise haters think, and how you can easily and simply change your own thinking so working out becomes the big, bright beautiful part of your day.
Renée Stephens: [recording begins] This program is brought to you by personal life media.com.
Renée Stephens: Welcome to “Inside Out Weight Loss”. I’m your host, Renée Stephens, and we’ll be accessing and adjusting the control panel of your mind body system, bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey, and fullness to the rest of your life.
On today’s show – My lazy history and a super simple technique to motivate yourself like an athlete. So join us all you fit people waiting to happen.
Renée Stephens: Ah, but I digress – I just love to share that message so much because so many people still aren’t aware of that. So much of the diet and weigh loss industry gives the message, the presupposition that you’re going to have to struggle, you’re going to have to deprive yourself, you’re going to have to have tremendous discipline and it’s just not the case.
There really is another way. I’ve worked with quite a few groups, and when I ask a question in front of a group, I say: “OK, everybody here who loves to exercise, raise your hand.” There are always some people in the group that raise their hands and say: “Oh yes, I love to exercise - it’s really important to me.”
Then I say to the group: “Anybody here who hates to exercise, raise your hand,” and a bunch of people raise their hands. So I pick one from each group – the love and hate groups – and I ask them, I ask the person, the person who loves to exercise, I say: “Well what do you think about when you think about exercise?”
If you’re an over-eater, you do this all the time. What is it that you do? Thinking back to the naturally slender eating strategy, you focus on the good feeling of the flash in the pan, so to speak, moments when the food is in your mouth.
Renée Stephens: A special welcome to new listeners to this show. We are so delighted that you found us. You make take a moment to notice what you’re hoping to find here. Jump right into today’s episode, and I also encourage you to go back to the beginning starting there to listening to the prologue were you will hear my personal story.
Then go through the episodes one by one, digesting each concept, each tool. There’s a progression to Inside Out Weight Loss and the Renee Method, and you’ll certainly benefit from building a strong foundation by starting at the beginning.
Also, consider joining the Yahoo group to support, and be supported. There’s a link available at my blog www.personallifemedia.com/renee.
Now let’s take a moment and drop inside, be present with ourselves as I share a moment of bliss courtesy of blisstrips.com.
A shimmering waterfall billows from above, embracing you in a welcome vitality. The pulsating stream of life giving energy surges over you, soothing your mind, unknotting your shoulders, drawing away impurities and stress. Glistening droplets catch the sunshine and carry it with them as they merge and flow. Feel yourself enlivening as this cascade pours it’s resource into you.
Draw strength from this moment of pure release. Mmmm that feels so good, doesn’t it? So let’s go ahead and take that moment to set our intention for today’s episode. What about your intention for this new year- we’re a few weeks into it. How do you want to grow this year? What do you want to experience? What’s your own personal natural upper that you’d like to have more of?
I know what mine is – hearing your stories of success and reaching more and more of you. And by the way, I have a wish list and you’re on it. I want to see you – I want to see what you look like, in fact. I receive a decent number of e-mails each day telling me from listeners how much they enjoy the show, how much it’s changed their lives.
Sometimes I read those emails on episodes of this show and as you can imagine, I love that. I just love hearing about how your lives have improved, and changed. There’s nothing that makes my day brighter than that. In fact, it’s the whole reason that I create this free podcast.
As you may know, my personal mission is to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet, enabling you to develop and share your soul’s gifts. So what is my wish list wish? My wish is to see you. I would love for you to send me your picture along with a comment on how you’re enjoying the show, what the show means to you, perhaps how you have changed in your life as a result of listening to the show.
There’s nothing that excites me more than that. I’d love to get before and after photos – that would be fantastic. I get occasional emails about: “Oh, I’ve lost 35 pounds, I’ve lost 10, pounds, I’ve lost 25 pounds,” from listeners telling me how easy and effortless it’s been, but I don’t have many photos yet.
If you have before and after – fantastic; if you have a head shot – fantastic – any kind of picture you would like to share with me and allow me to post on the blog, post on my website to show other prospective listeners, other listeners who Inside Out Weight Loss is. So that’s my request.
You can email them to me at [email protected] – that’s [email protected]. Now, as you think about all of those other listeners, those other fellow journeyers across space and time of this show. People surprisingly, startlingly, like you who have been on the weight struggle and are so excited to understand, to really get that weight loss doesn’t have to be difficult. That weight loss shouldn’t be difficult.
That weight loss can be easy and natural, and in fact, that lasting weight loss, that becoming naturally slender, in other words, must be easy because if it’s not easy, it’s not sustainable. We want something that enables us to share what we have to share with the world, rather than consumes us.
Something that is a foundation, something that supports us: Ah, but I digress – I just love to share that message so much because so many people still aren’t aware of that. So much of the diet and weigh loss industry gives the message, gives the presupposition that you’re going to have to struggle, you’re going to have to deprive yourself, you’re going to have to have tremendous discipline and it’s just not the case.
There really is another way.
So what does make your heart sing? What does light you up? What is your natural upper; the thing that excites you about life? I had a client that I worked with yesterday – she studied with me and she was bulimic, quite bulimic in fact. Actually hated herself and had been struggling for years without success.
I want to tell you what she gave her step-father for Christmas this year, because it was truly an extraordinary gift. You see, this client of mine loves to sing. Singing is what makes her heart sing. It is her soul’s gift. She in fact does have a beautiful voice. She adores singing and her dream is to be a singer.
But she’s never sung in front of anyone before – never! It’s very difficult to be a professional singer if you’ve never sung in front of anyone – if you’ve never recorded a song. Now she’s been binge purge free for many months now – I’ve lost track - maybe eight or nine months now. She has completely changed her life.
She’s moved, she has gone back to school to finish her degree, she’s started exercising consistently, she’s become more social, she’s started dating – all sorts of amazing things, and I just love to hear that. I especially love that she gave to her step-father something that he has been asking for years and she could never do.
What was this amazing gift? I’m sure you could imagine it. The amazing gift that she gave her step-father, the gift that he has waited years to receive, was a simple CD with a recording of three of her songs that no one has ever heard before.
I wonder what you’re waiting to create. I wonder what gifts are there ready to be developed, expressed, released, and shared with the rest of the world as you end your weight struggle and come to that place of deep self acceptance - that place of peace with your body and with food.
Before we take a break to support our sponsors, I’d like to share an email comment from Janelle who writes that: “She doesn’t really have a comment about anything in particular, but I love your work.” She writes: “I love all three downloads and the buy all three get a discount rate is a win-win for everyone, and I LOVE - in big caps - the forgiveness series. It’s amazing how all the topics translate to other areas and aspects of life.”
“ I can’t tell you how many times a day I’ve responded in a way to something that’s less than ideal with my family, daughter, family, friends, co-workers, etc.. Instead of beating myself up over it, I ask myself how I’d like to respond instead. It’s the re-do for life. Thanks, Renée. You’re great at what you do, and that must feel very rewarding.”
I can tell you Janelle, it is unbelievably rewarding to get comments from listeners like you, so thank you so much for taking the time to write. And as you know, after the break, we’re going to go deeper into motivation to exercise: How to get a motivation makeover and learn to love to move your body.
We’re taking a break now to support our sponsors, this is Renée Stephens and you’re listening to Inside Out Weight Loss on personal life media.
Renée Stephens: We’re back now. When I was a kid, when I was in elementary school, I was not athletic. I was not one of those kids who was into all the sports and did really well in them. In fact, I was one of those kids who was the last to be picked for the dodge ball team, the last to be picked in gym class – the one who didn’t think ever about doing something physical.
In fact, it wasn’t until I was older and I started obsessing about my weight that I got into exercise – weightlifting, in fact. The whole reason that I did that was to atone for my uncontrollable binge eating episodes. So I was not a natural athlete, and yet today, and for years – decades in fact, I have been a dedicated exerciser.
I love to exercise. I have to exercise many times a week, I have to get a good workout or else I start getting grumpy. You could say that I am addicted, but blissfully addicted to exercise. I wanted to give you that background as we go into a deeper understanding of what motivation, and in the case in particular, exercise motivation is all about.
I mean, are there really people that are just born un-athletic, people who just really don’t get it, who hate it? You know what I’m going to say to that, of course. This whole idea that we are born anything that we don’t want to be really doesn’t work for me. Because my belief is, if we want something, and we value something, we can absolutely create it in our lives.
All right, if you’re a 45 year old 5’2 woman, no you’re probably not going to be an MBA star even if that’s what you really want to be. But, in the plane of reasonable desires, I believe that most anything is possible, OK?
In other words, if you want to love exercising, you can love exercising. It’s time for a motivation makeover. I’ve worked with quite a few groups and when I ask a question in front of a group, I say: “OK everybody here who loves to exercise, raise your hand?” There are always some people in the group who say: “Yes, I love to exercise, it’s really important to me.” Then I say to the group: “Anyone here who hates to exercise, raise your hand,” and a bunch of people raise their hands.
So I pick one from each group – the love and hate groups - and I ask them, I ask them. I ask the person who loves to exercise: “What do you think about when you think about exercise?” What do you think this person says? The person who loves to exercise, like me, will say: “Ah, what I think about when I think about exercising is how great it feels when I’m done.”
“I think about how wonderful I feel when I’m done, about how it gives me energy, how it allows me to be active with my kids, who it allows me to participate in life, how wonderful it is,” and they list all these specific benefits that really jazz them about working out.
Then I go to the person who hates exercise and I say: “OK, when you think about exercising, what do you think about?” Invariably they say something like: “Oh, the sweat, I just hate being sweaty – Oh it’s the hassle of it all; it’s the messiness of it all, the pain involved with pushing myself, it’s how sore I feel afterwards - I just hate the whole thing.”
And they’ll list all these detailed examples of the negative aspects of exercise. Now what do you notice here about the perspectives of these two people: The lover of exercise and the hater of exercise? Well, if what you noticed is that the lover focuses, pays attention to all of the positive things, and the hater focuses and pays attention to all the negative things – you’re onto something.
A friend of my husband’s was a very accomplished athlete. He’d actually been to the Olympics as a water polo player. We stayed at his home in the UK some years ago, and he was Mr. Macho guy. A workout wasn’t complete unless it was two or three hours long, he was dedicated to very little time off, really what I consider to be a great athlete.
I remember we stayed with him this one night, and I remember in the morning he’d been out to the pub the night before; need I say more? And he was at the pub the night before late, and had drunk, yes, quite a few pints. So he wakes up and he’s hurting. He’s really hurting and he looks it.
He’s got his gear on to work out and he can – he’s barely able to speak he’s in such a state. I look at him and I say: “Oh my goodness, are you going to work out now?” And he’s: “Errrr.” I said: “But I thought you loved to work out?”
And he says: “I hate it, I hate everything about it – he’s super grumpy – but I do it because I feel so great afterwards.” And I thought: “Hah, there you have it.” Here is Mr. Athlete himself and he doesn’t even like it that moment before he starts.
So do I need to expect myself to love it before I start? No – I don’t. That’s really not a necessary expectation for me to be motivated as Mr. Athlete is motivated to do it. I don’t have to love every aspect of it, because when you think about the things that you love to do in life, you think about your favorite hobby, your think about your favorite activity, the thing that you just really get excited and are always motivated to do; scrap booking, knitting, playing games on the computer, playing board games, reading books. I don’t know - whatever the heck it is.
I’ll bet that there are probably aspects to it that you don’t like so much. Whether it’s sorting out the technology so you can play the computer game, or – I don’t know – researching patterns on the internet or whatever it is – I bet there is something that you don’t like about it.
However, I also bet that you don’t pay that much attention to the bit that you don’t like. I bet that you even minimize that, you shrink it in your mind, you put it to the back of your consciousness, maybe completely out of your consciousness, and when you think about the thing you love to do, I bet you think about the aspects of it that you really love.
Just take a moment now – go ahead and do that, think about something you really love to do, even if it’s cooking, whatever it is. And you think: “I so love that.” Think about what you love about it.
I remember talking to a woman who just loves nothing more than going to the farmer’s market. When she described her experience at the Farmer’s Market she described the most beautiful array of colors, textures of the beautiful bell peppers and the zucchini and the carrots and all of the things. You could see that to her she was seeing the most beautiful picture in her mind of all the colors, and textures of the farm fresh vegetables and fruits available at the market.
Now she wasn’t thinking about what I think about when I think about the farmers market. I have to confess – the farmer’s market is kind of OK for me but, I’m afraid that when I think about it, I think about hassle. I think about the time that it’s going to take for me to get there, to get everything purchased, then I still have to go to the grocery store and then I’m not spending time in the way that I want to with my kids, and I have to get gas to be able to go there.
I don’t want to do that. Oh, I better remember the bags, and it’s so heavy to carry them to the car and yes, I have to park on this steep hill and yadda, yadda, yadda. You get the idea. To me, I’m thinking about the negative. If I wanted to change my motivation for the farmers market, I would stop thinking about that negative stuff and I would start thinking about all the positive stuff.
You getting the idea here? And I tell you what – I know you can do this because it’s something that you do already. I know you do it, even if there’s nothing you can think of that you love, if you’re an over eater, you do this all the time. What is it that you do? Thinking back to the naturally slender eating strategy, you focus on the good feeling of the flash in the pan, so to speak, moments when the food is in your mouth.
“That’s the party in your mouth”: as my client said. That’s the moment that you focus on. You make it big and you make it bright and you make it exciting and close up in your mind’s eye, and so you just think about that. And so you just make it so big you just can’t see beyond 60 seconds, two minutes, half an hour to the way that you will feel afterwards.
Because if you wanted to feel differently, you would simply focus on how you feel for the next half hour, the next hour, the next three hours, say. You’d change your horizon and see the whole picture of how the food you’re thinking about eating will make you feel. You would then minimize any negative, like:”Oh, I’ll never have this again, I better have it now, because in the history of time this will never be available to me again.”
You would minimize something like that rational, and you would maximize the good feeling over time and minimize silly ideas like depravation because of course, in truth, what you are depriving yourself of when you over eat, is feeling good over time. You are depriving yourself of pleasure – the most pleasure over the most time.
I know you already do this. You’ve done it with food, but now that you’ve been listening to Inside Out Weight Loss, I’m wondering, guessing, betting that’s shifting for you. So how about doing it for exercise? Here’s your homework – because we are out of time for today.
Your homework is to make a list. On one side of the piece of paper you’re going to write down all of the things that you don’t like about exercise. On the other side of the piece of paper, you’re going to you’re going to write all the things that are really great about exercise. Then, you’re going to write it again, and you’re going to write all those things you really don’t like teen tiny small, and you’re going to write in beautiful colorful letters – this is a great coloring opportunity for all those wanna be pre-schoolers in the group – you’re going to make it big and beautiful.
As you do this on paper, you’ll do it in your mind. And of course, on the next episode of Inside Out Weight Loss, I will guide you through it. I’ve got so much great stuff for this exercise motivation series, I can definitely…
..see the beautiful you, and while you’re at it you might take that same comment and post it as a 5 star review on iTunes, because those reviews raise the profile of Inside Out Weight Loss. Did I tell you guys that I met someone who works at iTunes at a party? I told him a little bit about my show and how excited I was to have the ITunes platform.
He was so excited, because apparently, it’s really unusual for a show like this to become so successful without some big endorsement for it to all come organically through the individual searches that you have done. So thank you, thank you, thank you – we are starting a revolution, and I am so excited to be part of it.
This is your host Renee Stephens, and I am on a mission to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet, enabling you to share your soul’s gifts. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves. Take great care.