How to Eat, Part III
Inside Out Weight Loss
Renee Stephens

Episode 59 - How to Eat, Part III

What are the right foods to eat that will make us slim? We keep hoping that there is an answer to this question, but the secret is that we are asking the wrong question. Learn the real secret to what makes us Naturally Slender, as Renee wraps up our series on How to Eat. Plus, want to improve your romantic relationship, or attract a good one? Learn how changing yourself will change your relationships for the better.



Renee Stephens:  Welcome to inside out weight loss.  I’m your host Renee Stephens and together we are accessing and adjusting the control panel of your mind-body system bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey and fullness to the rest of your life.  On today’s show how to attract better relationships in to your life and putting it all together on how to eat.  What if you work truly royal? you may already know that royalty will follow to have a special connection with the divine and indeed in may cases to be partly divine themselves.  What if that was the case for you? What if you recognized your divine nature? If you are looking for a new relationship, if you would like a new relationship or you are dissatisfied with the relationships that you had in the past understand that as you work on yourself as you become more self accepting more self loving as you feel better about yourself in your life there is an offly good chance that the relationships that you attract to you will become more and more satisfied.  So eat an amount that will lead you at the door step of your next meal at a level 2 or 3 of hunger, pretty simple.  Now, you are not going to get that right every time.  You are gonna play around with it and you are gonna come in at a 1 or 4 or 5 and that’s all just fine as you get to learn the ropes here and even over time you might make a mistake, no big deal.  A special welcome to new listeners to the show.  We are so glad that you found us.  You might take a moment to notice what you are hoping to find here.  You come here for a reason.  Jump right end to today’s episode and I also encourage you to go back to the beginning and start there by listening to the prolog where you will hear my personal story.  There is a progression to inside out weight loss and there are new method and you will certainly benefit from building a foundation by starting at the beginning.  Then take your time to digest each episode, each concept, each tour.  Also consider joining the yahoo group to support and be supported.  There is a link available at my blog at\Renee and off course if you like what you hear you may want to go even deeper by purchasing the three guided journeys available for sale on my site at  There’s also link on the blog and to veteran listeners you may have noticed by now that in each episode I like to share a comment from one of you.  So if you are a veteran listener if you have been implementing the tools of inside out weight loss and the Renee method, I encourage you to post a comment on the blog or to send me an email at [email protected] telling me about your journey and your story.  Hearing your personal stories certainly inspires me, excites me every time I read one of your emails and I know that inspires other listeners too.  So go ahead now and drop in to this episode sing deeply within this episode and this experience and check in.  Becoming present with you, becoming present with your body, with your motions, with your spirits, as I share a moment of bliss, courtesy of  The chair beneath you becomes a throne.  Wherever you now sit you rest in complete command of your life.  Feel the strength and steadiness that this position affords you the wisdom and knowledge that emanates from within you as the benevolent ruler of each of your days.  Think of your life as royal and imagine those steps that you can take to add even more majesty to your regal being.  What if you work truly royal? You may already know that royalty we thought to have a special connection with the device and indeed in many cases to be partly divine themselves.  What if that with the case for you? What if you recognized your diving nature? What if you’ve felt that your essence are made of light and love and in so being was not just connected to all that is but was part of in the same house all that is. What kind of care would you take of yourself then? Would you ignore your personal needs and put others first, no matter what the price you paid or would you treat yourself like royalty so that you felt great and we’re able to share them and give of your guests or others from this place of strength and connection.  I want to share with you a rather interesting experience a private client of mine had recently.  We had been working on various issues allowing her to come to that place of treating herself royally, of treating herself like her own best friend, and she has began to like herself more and more overtime and interestingly enough the man she singled and the man that she has dated her first boyfriend treated her very badly indeed and then she had a relationship a very brief relationship with someone else who was a higher quality man shall we say that how she describes it but still didn’t last and her last relationship was brief with someone who really liked the fact that she was overweight.  He said he was a fat admirer and that’s I think how he described himself and FAT admirer and he really liked her and they went on some date and she was so excited that this fantastic good looking guy was interested in her.  So they had a nice time and yet she wrote to me that he actually wanted her to eat large quantities of food.  He wanted to see her eat.  He really liked the fact that she was overweight and there was something within her that said no, no I don’t like that.  May be it was that having him reflected back to her allowed her to see herself in a new light, to see that behavior that she had in a new light, and she rejected that and she rejected him as a matter of fact and she said no, I don’t want this and the first thing she did is go straight to the gym signup and start working out more vigorously and more consistently and regularly.  She realized courtesy of this boyfriend who really did like her as she was that she wanted to take great care of herself and so now she is working out much more consistently and taking even better care of herself and she believes that the better care she takes of herself the higher quality of better guys better relationships that she will attract her.  Now I have to confess that I did put that idea in her head.  She may have come up with on her own but that was certainly my experience and it is my belief.  I’ll tell you briefly what happened with me.  Of course this is slightly embarrassing but I’ll tell you anyway.  My first boyfriend ended up being hospitalized committed to a mental institution and I believe that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia hearing voices and things like that.  My next boyfriend was a compulsive liar.  He was such a great liar I’m not even sure he knew the difference between his own lies and his reality.  He was completely creating a fantasy world and was living with an another woman while we were dating completely unnoticed to me and then thank goodness I started doing work on myself, I started developing myself acceptance and myself love.  I started healing my weight issues and love in behold my relationships got better they became more satisfying, they become consistence, they became more reliable, and they became more loving, more mutually loving by my dad.  And I have been with my husband for 18 years now, oh my goodness that sounds like a long time.  So I offered that to you, if you are looking for a new relationship if you would like a new relationship or you dissatisfied with a relationships that you had in the past, understand that as you work on yourself as you become more self accepting, more self loving, as you feel better about yourself in your life, there is an offly good chance that the relationships that you attract to you will become more and more satisfying and that’s been the case for many of my clients as well and if you are in a relationship if you are married or you have a long term partner the great news is that relationship can transform and become even better as you take great care of yourself as you love and accept yourself.  So how about that, you get to have a great body if you are a great about yourself and have a terrific loving relationship.  It’s just that virtuous cycle involving all different aspects of your life.  So lets go ahead and take a moment to settle our intention for today’s episode, what delight would you like to invite yourself to? What experience would you like to have along the way after you arrive? and go ahead and open your awareness and your heart to the presence of the fellow journeyers listening to the show.  Send them your support aware intension to the end the weight struggle and develop and share their souls gives and feel their support come back to you magnified many, many, many times over.  Open up to the tremendous power of collective intent. My intension as always is to enable you to achieve yours.  Lets take a break now to support our sponsors.  This is Renee Stephens and you are listening to inside out weight loss on personallifemedia.

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Renee Stephens:  On the last few episodes, we have been talking about how to eat and the role of structure that in structure there is freedom.  Today, I like to review what we have been talking about, putting it all together for you.  First, lets take a moment to put things in to perspective.  The food is about what did I say in an earlier episode when I talked about which foods to promote in your diet and which foods to avoid in your diet because so many people put so much into this specific foods that they eat thinking that they can just get some how the magic combination of protein and carbs and fats and the right fats and the right miracle food then all of their weight problems will disappear.  And for as long as we have been trying this strategy always with the latest food combination the latest thing and having it not work over the long term hopes brings eternal and the next time the next hard fats comes out low fat, high fat, complex carbs, high protein whatever it is we jump whole heartedly on the bandwagon hoping again at cant stop that this time it will work.  The problem with that as you probably know by now if you are an inside out weight loss listener is that the answer is not in what we are eating.  That’s not what we are going to find the answer.  In fact, why you eat is at best I would say about 10% at best you know may be more like 5 to 8% of this solution and it isn’t enough to make you to allow you to become naturally slender it just isn’t gonna do it because the missing ingredient is getting you to actually do it.  It is not in the food, it is in you, you are the solution not something out side of you, its in you wanting and preferring to eat healthy food and live a healthy lifestyle.  Because lets face it.  If your approach is based on self discipline you will never make it.  If your approach is based on will power it is going last because at some point will power varies thin stress comes up in life big things are happening as one of my client said well desperate times required desperate measures this was right when we began working and off you go head first then to the chocolate kisses or the chocolate cake or the bag of chips or whatever the heck it is, if you are trying too hard, just don’t, don’t bother give up because at some point you are going get tired of it anyway.  What we do here in the Renee method in an inside out weight loss is we go to a deeper level.  We go to the level of your motivation.  The level beneath your thoughts even to the drives that make you behave the way that you behave.  Because when you genuinely and deeply want to take great care of yourself when you prefer healthy food and a healthy lifestyle why, why on earth would you prefer that because it is the right thing to do because you should do it.  I don’t think so, no the only reason the only reason, the only lasting reason to prefer healthy food, to prefer healthy exercise and healthy lifestyle is because it makes you feel great.  Yes that’s it, it makes your body feel great.  When I installed the naturally slender eating strategy for my new clients in their intake entry which is a very long intensive affair that we do together right when we start working and I ask them how does that food feel in your body over time.  Sometimes they will say oh well you know I just know I shouldn’t have eaten this, so there is always guilt and I say you know what lets put all guilt aside for now lets put all those should, should do’s, this is what I meant to do and put all others stuff all that mind shatter aside for just this moment for just now and I want you to check in to your body put your hands on your stomach just below your rib cage above your belly, put your hands on your stomach close your eyes and tune in to the way that this food would make your feel, this food in this quantity over time an hour to three hours what does your body say? And the body will tell you, the body knows.  Even if you haven’t been listening the body knows and the body will say ah well you know may be salad isn’t quite right for today.  May be I would rather have soup because it is cold outside.  The body will say oh I would like a little bit of something sweet but don’t want to have the cake or the whole cake I want a bite of chocolate that is fine if that’s what the body says.  But we cannot know what the body says.  If we have got mental chatter going on and on and on incisively in our brain telling us what we should and shouldn’t do, we want to get to the basics, the basics of the wisdom of our body and let our body tell us and make a commitment to our body is that you know what from now on I am not going to pay attention, I may not be perfect, I may not get it right every time but at the very least I commit to you that I will pay attention and notice how these foods make you feel with the absence of guilt from a place of acceptance, that’s what I commit to do.  Okay back on track I promised you a summary of structure and how to eat so here we go.  Structure, the structure that I recommend and that I follow myself is to eat 3 meals a day, 3 meals a day, why 3 meals? Look at all of the cultures out there and most of the traditional culture the vast majority of them will eat 3 meals a day.  3 meals a day is the standard for a reason.  It works for us.  Now what about if you are not hungry for breakfast.  If you are not hungry for breakfast, there is a good chance that you overeat at dinner.  So don’t worry about that until you start following this plan.  Eat your breakfast, a good healthy breakfast, often a breakfast with some protein in it is an excellent choice.  And then how much do you eat? What kind of quality do you want to eat at breakfast and at lunch and at dinner for that matter?  You want to eat an amount that will leave you at the door step of your next meal quite hungry on a scale of a 0 to 10 with 10 being stuffed full like a thanksgiving day turkey and 0 being drop on the flora vines.  You want to be a 2 or 3.  You want to be a 2 or 3 when you start your meal.  Why do you want to be at a 2 or 3? Because I say so, no you want to be at a 2 or 3 because you will enjoy your food so much more when you bring an appetite to the table with you.  So eat an amount that will lead you with the door step of your next meal at a level 2 or 3 of hunger pretty simple.  Now you’re not going to get that right every time.  You’re gonna play around with it and you’re gonna come in at a 1 or 4 or 5 and that’s all just fine and you get to learn the ropes here and even over the time you might make a mistake no big deal.  So say you are really hungry and its 10:30 in the morning and there is a long way till lunch time and you are starving you are already at a 2 and you don’t think you can make till lunch so what you do? Suffer? This is a problem with the rigid diet plans.  They will say you get this much no matter what but if your body is truly hungry body hungry not bottom hungry not anxiety hungry not comfort myself hungry not entertain myself hungry but hungry body hungry hands on your stomach, stomach is empty really hungry then you will have a snack, yes you will have a snack.  You will have something that will make you feel good and how much of a snack shall you have? Enough snack so that by the time one chose around or dinner rouse around or breakfast rouse around you are at that level of 2 or 3.  So that probably means a smaller snack.  This is in stuff your body full, this is eat enough to tied you over so that you can really enjoy that meal that is only of short time away.  Simple right and then one more thing to remind you of which is to eat at regular meal times like children do, like pets do, we are not haven breakfast at 2PM one day and 8 AM in the next day, no, we are having breakfast at a consistent time of the day everyday lunch consistent time, dinner consistent time, yeah once in a while you go out and it is little late for dinner no worries it is okay we can correct from that, we can self correct from that at the next meal.  But in general you want to have a time that you eat your meals, why, because the body begins the digestive process in anticipation of the meal at a regular time everyday.  Human bodies thrive with regularly consistency and schedules.  And finally the last piece of this review what to eat which everybody loves to know even though as I explained earlier it’s not that bigger deal.  You do want to move towards healthy unrefined unprocessed foods.  And you know that already but want to make sure you eat in your diet.  You want to make sure that you have enough vegetables.  What’s enough.  At a minimum 4 servings a day and more is great.  So the focus is on getting enough vegetables.  For me breakfast is simple typically protein, protein shake and lunch and dinner follow this formula protein, complex carbohydrate, and vegetables, lots of vegetables typically 2 or more servings at both lunch and dinner.  I have to get my veggies at lunch or dinner or else you get about it.  So in a final word about those vegetables if you don’t like them or there are too much work, the produce department of grocery stores now is really rising to meet demand and there are so many easily prepared vegetables available, they are pre-washed pre-prepared they have even got microwave in the bag and yeah may be you don’t want a microwave in the bag because it’s plastic that’s the kind of thing that people out here in California think about but I tell you what better to microwave in a plastic bag and eat it because it’s convenient than the sink your head in to a bag of processed chips so go for it.  If that’s what it takes get it.  Does it cost more, yeah, who cares it’s cheaper than prescription medication copies, it’s cheaper than medical problems, it’s cheaper than time of work, it’s cheaper than looking back on your life and saying oh my god how many decades of my life have I spent obsessed with food and feeling bad about myself.  It’s whole lot cheaper than that.  So go to the producer, spend your money on wonderful beautiful prepared vegetables get a cornucopia of colors and textures and flavors and enjoy.  That’s brings us to the end of our show today.  Thank you for being present.

Renee Stephens:  On the next episode of inside out weight loss, the long awaited much anticipated series on exercise motivation.  How to get your body moving and loving it.  And by the way if you want to keep the written record, a written journal of your hunger levels before and after eating which I wholeheartedly recommend during the process of getting to know your body, how about doing it in your very own inside out weight loss journal.  They are available through a link on my blog at\Renne under a logo gear I believe and while you are there consider a inside out weight loss T-shirt to show your support to others.  This is Renne Stephens and I’m on a mission to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet enabling you to share your source guess.  Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves.  Take good care.