Making Food Your Former Best Friend
Inside Out Weight Loss
Renee Stephens

Episode 45 - Making Food Your Former Best Friend

Are you taking full advantage of the power of your intent? Learn how to harnass this simple tool to create more great experiences in your life. Plus, hear how a listener shares her soul’s gifts, and finally, has food been your best friend? With you through thin and thicker? Renee shares how to get a whole new team of best friends that give even better than they receive.



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Renee Stephens: Welcome to Inside Out Weight Loss. I'm your host, Renee Stephens, and together we're accessing and adjusting the control panel of your mind body system, bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey. And fullness to the rest of your life. On today's show, how to make food your former best friend.

Worried about an event, a buffet in our future, something like that? And it's so easy for us to forget that we can set our intent. We can think about how we would like to be in that experience, as a result of that experience, how we'd like something to work out.
Now I'd like to ask you the question: What's holding you back? What's holding you back from achieving the body and the life and the peace that you've been dreaming about? And this is the only thing that's comforting to you as you're in this otherwise awkward situation. Why would you want to give that up? It doesn't make sense, does it? I can completely understand how that might hold you back.
So what's the solution? How do we move beyond that?

Let's take a moment to arrive and be present with ourselves. To be present to this opportunity to tune in and connect. To tune in and connect with ourselves, and perhaps with something greater than ourselves. Something greater than ourselves that could be simply the power of the collective intent and support of all the other listeners of this show across space and time. Perhaps we're connecting in to that energy field, to that positive energy field. Or perhaps to something even greater, that is connected to you now, supporting you. Perhaps out of your conscious awareness and yet always there, always accessible, through the power of your desire and your intent. So let's take this moment, let's dedicate this time to you. Let's dedicate this focus to your betterment, to the creation of the body, and the life, of your dreams.

Tune in to your physical experience, notice any sensations in your body. Notice any feelings that you have, any emotional experience. What emotions are lingering in your body, perhaps from earlier in the day. If they're good you might want to allow them to amplify and increase. And if they're not so good, you might want to allow them to release and slip away as you become more and more present to this moment. To the sound of my voice, to this now. And as you do that, let's go ahead and set our intent for this episode.

One of the things I notice is that it's easy to forget to set our intent. We might be concerned about things in our lives, we might be worried about things, maybe worried about an expenditure, worried about an event, a buffet in our future, something like that. And it's so easy for us to forget that we can set our intent. We can think about how we would like to be in that experience, as a result of that experience, how we'd like something to work out. It can be as simple as setting our intent to enjoy ourselves. And this can be especially important, or especially valuable I should say, at things where we think there's a risk of not enjoying ourselves. For example, at family gatherings. Think about setting your intent for how you'd like the experience to go. What about networking events? Maybe you've been to that kind of thing. Or volunteer gatherings, or gatherings of people from the school your children attend, or work gatherings. And you think, oh my goodness, I really don't want to do this, but I know I should or I must, I'm obligated, I have to show up, but you're not looking forward to it. What if you were to simply set your intent? One of the favorite things I like to do when I go to a gathering of that nature, maybe something I'm a little nervous about, or not so excited about attending, but I feel that I should attend. In fact, this is something I did and it completely transformed my experience at networking events that I used to go to. And what I would do is I would say, Alright, instead of thinking as I go to these events that I want to get business, I thought, forget that, I hate doing that. That just so does not work for me. But what does work for me is going to these events with the intent of helping someone else. So I would set my goal, I would play a little game with myself to go and identify people that I could help in some way. I remember one day thinking to myself, okay, well my intent for today is to find someone that I can provide significant help to with very little effort on my part. Now the low effort on my part piece was because I'm a pretty busy person, but I really did want to help somebody. And wouldn't you know, I bumped into somebody who I spoke to briefly, realized I knew someone that would really be helpful to that person, I connected the two people, both were really grateful, and I felt so good about myself because I was able to make this offer.

So how the heck does this apply to weight? What about those big event meals, those meals which might be the buffet or the big food event, or I've had a number of clients talk to me about the free food at work or obligatory work fun events. Especially the high tech companies around here love to have required fun, which actually is a very good concept overall, I'd say. But they'd be worried about the food. And so I would suggest to them that they set their intent for how they would like to feel at the end of that experience. So I invite you, play around with that, and see what happens as you go ahead and set your intent for this episode of Inside Out Weight Loss. My intent as always, is to help you achieve yours.

I'd like to share with you a couple of blog comments about recent episodes. One I'd like to share with you from Jess, who writes about her soul's gift. I've been speaking for the last several episodes about the addition or evolution to my mission statement, which is really about enabling others to share their soul's gift. And Jess writes:

"I'd say that my soul's gift is bringing smiles to my friends and family. It seems like I couldn't so that when I was trying to lose weight. So now, I'm loving life because losing weight is so much fun that it spreads like a virus to my surroundings, and people just seem to love to laugh with me. I love bringing smiles to people, and that is my gift to share with others."

And what I love about Jess' comment is the simplicity of the gift. And yet really, what more valuable gifts are there? Sharing smiles, and laughs, and positive energy with those around you. Those are beautiful gifts, and so worthwhile, yet so simple and easy to give. I especially like that she talks about losing weight being fun. What a concept that is! Talk about being radical, and yet so much and Inside Out Weight Loss concept. So thank you, Jess. Jess has posted a bunch of comments on the blog, and also as a pretty regular contributor to the Yahoo! group, which I invite you to check out and join. As a reminder to the regular listeners, research clearly shows that those who reach out and are supported by others are the most successful in reaching their weight goals. Go to the blog at Check out all the great comments on the blog, and also you'll find a link to join the Yahoo! group on the right hand side of the page.

We've just finished a series of podcast episodes introducing EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, and using it to release hunger phobia. I've made several blog posts about it, and I'd love to hear from you about how it's working, how you're experimenting with it. So again, go to that blog, and write your comments. Post your experiences. Do you have hunger phobia, or did you have hunger phobia? Hunger is a good thing. Remember, it's just a physical feeling. It is simply a sensation that tells us that our body soon needs nourishment. In future episodes, we'll talk more about EFT, and use it for various issues, but I wanted to start by teaching you the tool, and using hunger phobia as a great beginning place because it is such a common issue for people who struggle with their weight. They keep eating because they are afraid of being hungry. And in fact, many people never let themselves get hungry at all. And if that's you, there's a very good chance that you're overweight because people who are naturally slender do get hungry usually two or three times a day before meals. And as you'll know from the earlier shows, the great thing about that is, how much more we can enjoy our food when we're hungry before eating it. You ever notice that? Play around with it, and see what you discover.

It's time to take a break now to support our sponsors. This is Renee Stephens, and you're listening to Inside Out Weight Loss on Personal Life Media.

Renee Stephens: We're back now. Before the break, we were talking about EFT and how it can be used for so many different issues. I encourage you to check out the blog, and find further resources. We'll be using it in future episodes, as well.

Now I'd like to ask you the question: What's holding you back? What's holding you back from achieving the body and the life and the peace that you've been dreaming about? I've had several private clients lately that one of the things, one of the fears that they had to becoming naturally slender, was the fear of losing an old friend. What's that old friend? Food. They're afraid, or they were afraid, that if they became naturally slender they wouldn't have their old, trusty, stand-by friend of food to entertain them, to comfort them, to reassure them, to distract them from uncomfortable situations. And so they prevented themselves, or had been preventing themselves, from becoming naturally slender because they just weren't willing to give up that old friend. And I thought about that. I thought, you know, let's think about this. If you have a job that you find boring...let's just take that hypothetical have a job that you find really boring, or there's something in your life that you found boring, and it gets to be about two or three o'clock in the afternoon, and you're thinking, oh my goodness, I need to start this project that I really don't want to start, and you think, oh well, maybe I need a snack. And this little brightness goes off in your mind, and you see some kind of snack or a drink or something, and you think oh, I'll go do that. And the next thing you know, you're padding down the hallway, off to get something to eat. You may not be hungry. In fact there's a decent chance that you're not hungry. Or you're walking by someone's desk, and there's a bowl of who knows what. A bowl of candies or something, and you just almost subconsciously, almost automatically, without a second thought, your hand goes out, grabs that, and the next thing you know, you've eaten them. So what attracted you to do that? Why would you do such a behavior if you want to be naturally slender, if you want to release weight? Because you're barely aware of it anyway. And yet, if for you food seems like a bright spot, if for you food seems like your entertainment, like, ah! Here's something that at least for the moments that it's in my mouth, and let's face it, it really is moments. Did I share with you I read somewhere that research shows that the average American spends precisely seven minutes eating dinner? Seven minutes? That's not a lot of time. Here we're talking about a snack. So imagine the brief amount of time that you're actually getting that enjoyment. But yet if it's the only bright spot in an otherwise bleak scenario, in an otherwise bleak panorama, then sure it's going to seem hard to give up. Absolutely it would seem difficult because it's the only thing...Or for example, let's go back to those social situations. And you go for a glass of wine, or a drink, or a beer, or something, or you make a beeline to the food table because you feel awkward. And this is the only thing that's comforting to you, as you're in this otherwise awkward situation. Why would you want to give that up? It doesn't make sense, does it? I can completely understand how that might hold you back.

So what's the solution? How do we move beyond that? How do naturally slender people handle it? Is it chewing on celery sticks, which are reportedly a calorie negative? They burn more calories trying to digest them than they contribute by eating them. Is it furiously slurping away at some drink to occupy yourself? Well, not necessarily. Not necessarily. So what is the trick? Hmmm...
A good question to ask as you consider the way you would like to be, how a naturally slender person might be in that situation, is one of my favorite questions. How would you like to be instead of the way that you are now? How would you like to be instead of the way that you are now? Now when I ask myself that question, I think, gosh, I would like to be kind of detached from food. I really don't want the brightness in my life to come from food. Honestly. That's not that exciting. I would much rather the brightness in my life come from other sources. Well what could they be? Let's take that social situation again. Maybe an awkward social situation. And when I think about the switch that I made some time ago, in terms of setting my intent to do something nice for someone else, to offer them something, perhaps a connection, perhaps a thought, a resource, something that would be helpful to them, I thought, wow, well that's a bright spot because it really feels great to help someone else out. That's a real bright spot for me. And I think, well, the other bright spot is if I actually get to make a genuine connection with someone. I really enjoy that. When we meet someone and we chat, and they share something with me, or I with them, and I feel like we really make a connection, some kind of meaningful connection. That's a real bright spot for me. Another bright spot for me is laughter. If I can laugh about something, if we can share a joke, laugh at something, laugh at ourselves even, sometimes that's the best, laughing at ourselves, how silly we are...if I could share laughter, that's a real bright spot. And that's a meaningful bright spot. When you think about it, and you think about food being the bright spot, the problem with food being the bright spot, is that it's a bit like a black hole. In other words, any light that you give it, it absorbs and disappears. Kind of like a bottomless pit. When food is the bright spot, it absorbs the light, kind of like a bottomless pit. It really doesn't give it back, if it's more food than we need. If it's an appropriate amount of healthy food eaten in a positive setting, well then yes, it gives us energy. It gives us wonderful things. But if it's scarfed hors d'oeuvres or appetizers, or junk food, it really doesn't give back a while lot. It kind of turns that positive energy into negative things like guilt, and feeling physically uncomfortable, and all those things that we want to move away from. However, when we think about the bright spot being laughter, connection, generosity, helping someone else, it's almost as if shining our light, or letting those things be bright is some kind of magnifying mirror, where the brightness expands and radiates outward. It's almost as if the more that we give, the more that we get back in return. I'm betting you that Jess, whose comment I read a few minutes ago, gets a whole heck of a lot back from sharing her soul's gift. A lot more than she used to get from overeating. So imagine that for a moment, that for you the brightness that used to go into overeating, that you used to associate with food to relieve you from boredom or awkwardness or discomfort of any kind, or pain emotional or otherwise, were transferred to other things. Perhaps meaningful connections with others. Laughter, sharing, giving. Even transferred to activities that are renewing for you, like exercise, for example. And if you're wondering, by the way, I will be doing a series on exercise motivation. I'm sure a lot of you are wondering about that, and I will just say at this point that it is absolutely possible to change your motivation profile for exercise. What does that mean? If you think you are the ultimate couch potato, there is hope. Stay with me. There is absolutely hope for you. You can become a dedicated exerciser. You can even become someone who looks forward to exercise. Someone who misses it if they don't get it. Someone who says they're addicted to exercise because if you don't get it, it feels so bad. Absolutely possible. I want you to know that. And that is coming up in some future episodes of Inside Out Weight Loss. But on the next episode of this show, I will take you through a guided journey to transfer the excitement or the brightness that you have been getting or associating with excess food to other things in your life. And your homework between now and then, between this episode and the next, is to think about what you'd like to get jazzed by. What are the areas of your life you get excited by and would like those to be bigger and brighter and more exciting and renewing and fulfilling and attractive and compelling than excess food used to be. So think about that, and be ready for the next episode. That bring us to the end of our show today. Thank you for being present. I have had a peek at the results of the listeners' survey which is available on the blog. There's a sort of green-yellow box to the left of the posts which says "Listener's Survey." Tell us who you are, and it's wonderful to know who you are. And I encourage those of you who may not have filled it out yet to go ahead and do so. Let us know, so we can make sure the programming and the sponsors of this show support you. Also, I'm so excited to say I just checked and there are eighty five-star reviews for this show on itunes. Thank you so much. I am so excited that it's pushing this show up on the ranks. My vision is to have this show be one of the top audio podcasts on itunes. To help me do that, if you haven't already, I would love for you to enter your five-star review. If you love this show, I would love for you to go into itunes, put Inside Out Weight Loss into the search box, the show will come up, and then check out the reviews and enter yours. Thank you so much. Remember that you will get out many, many, many times what you put into this journey, but you must put in to get out. If you'd like more, check out the products available for sale available on my site. Deep Journeys, at this time three Deep Journeys available at, under the products tab. By the way, I hope to have a new website up for you in the very near future. FOr the shows on the Personallifemedia network, visit our website, at There is loads of intriguing content to feed your mind, body, and spirit. This is your host, Renee Stephens, and I'm on a mission to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet, enabling you to share your soul's gifts. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves. Take care.

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