Episode 54: Alicia Dunams, Success Coach: How to Become a Millionaire Instead of Marrying One!

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Don’t miss this practical as well as heartfelt interview as we get the real life skinny from successful entrepreneur Alicia (pronounced Al-ee-sia) Dunams about the how to generate your own wealth. Many women suffer from misguided social and cultural ideas such as “The Prince Charming Syndrome” as well as Alicia’s coined phrased, “The Sex in the City Syndrome” where women spend their money on things that are not going to MAKE them money.

Listen in as Alicia shares from her experience as a successful single mom and entrepreneur, the “how to” steps that will lead you to your own path of huge financial success. We also cover how to achieve emotional freedom from whatever stops you, so tune in and check it out – you WILL be inspired!

Transcript

Alissa Kriteman: Welcome to “Just for Women: Dating, Relationships, and Sex.”  I'm your host, Alissa Kriteman.  This show is dedicated to bringing today's modern women the most insightful and useful information available to help us achieve all of our dreams: financial, sexual, relationship, dating.  All of our dreams, we're going to handle them here, on Just for Women.

[music]

Alicia Dunams: Well, you have doubt, you have fear, all of those things come up.  You're not confident.  All of these fears come up.  And, I always think, you know, what did Eleanor Roosevelt said in all these?  Do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain.

One of the chapters of my book is “Be Fearless.”  Thats part of the rich man mentality is that they took risks.  They embraced risks.  But, again, you know, great wealth does not come about by being conservative.  You have to go out there on a limb and choose things and start things in terms of business that other people might not do.

[music]

Alissa Kriteman: I'm so excited today to talk to Alicia Dunams.  She's got such an interesting perspective on how we can become millionaires ourselves instead of trying to marry one.  So today on the show we're going to talk to Alicia about her experiences with rich men and how she came to write her book “Goal Digger.”  We're going to talk to her about “Sex and the City” syndrome and how we can avoid getting caught in that trap that keeps women poor.  And she has so many interesting techniques and principles around how we can start today toward the road of making our own millions.  So, Alicia Dunams, welcome to “Just for Women.”

Alicia Dunams: Thank you so much Alissa.

Alissa Kriteman: I'm so glad to have you.  I had another woman, her name's Barbara Stanny, she talked a lot about the Prince Charming syndrome.  As we all know, its alive and well in our culture as women, so I'm really excited to talk to you today about this.

Alicia Dunams: Thank you so much.  Yeah, I'm excited as well.

Alissa Kriteman: So I'm going to tell the women out there a little about you before we get started.  You are a successful model and from your pictures: yes, very cute, very cute.

[laughter]

Alicia Dunams: Thank you.

Alissa Kriteman: You're also an entrepreneur, a real estate investor, and, of course, author of Goal Digger: Lessons Learned from the Rich Men I Dated.  You've appeared on “Oprah Winfrey and Friends,” “Great Day Houston,” “Northwestern Afternoon.”  Gee, you'd think you were out here in Chicago.

[laughter]

News, talk radio, adventurer, adventure on magazines, and in a video with John Grace, so you're definitely out there getting the message, and I'm really excited that you've taken the time today to talk to us.  So lets start out with your experiences.  How did you go from being a woman who was trying trying to find a man to marry who had a lot of money, to wanting that for yourself?

Alicia Dunams: Well, I basically joined a dating agency to meet wealthy men and I think at the beginning, it was, you know, maybe I could fall in love and marry a wealthy man.  I was a single mom.  Again, I had my own business, I was the bread-winner, but I thought, whoa, you know, I could maybe marry a rich man, and it might make my life easier.  So, why not, you know, pursue those avenues?  So, I joined a dating agency and one of the first men that I met through this dating agency, he said, Alicia, you know, we dated for several months and he said, Alicia, you know, you're industrious enough to be your own millionaire.  And that was really the lightning strike that ignited the forest fire for me.  And I was like, he's right!  He saw that I was smart, bright, and I always knew I was smart and bright, but for some reason I thought it was something that was not within my grasp, within my reach.  But he actually, he gave me, you know, the ability to see that, that I was, that I could pursue my financial fantasies.

Alissa Kriteman: OK, and so what are some of the things that it would take for us to be a millionaire?

Alicia Dunams: Well, first, you have to, you know, my book has thirteen lessons of the millionaire mind, what I learned from the rich men I dated and what I found was they came from different walks of life, but they all thought a certain way.  And so, my book is kind of divided really into developing that mind-set first, so you develop the mind-set of a millionaire.  But then you have to actually execute.  So, you have to be an investor, you have to be an entrepreneur, you have to create something new.  So, every one of the men I dated who became a millionaire, they were all entrepreneurs and investors.  So, that is something, that is the road you will have to go down if you want to be a millionaire.  You will not be a millionaire working for someone else.

Alissa Kriteman: Yeah, I've definitely heard that before.  OK, so develop the mind-set, be an entrepreneur.  What if people have fear around investing.  How do you even know what to invest in?

Alicia Dunams: Well, and thats the thing.  One of the chapters of my book is “Be Fearless.”  Thats part of the rich man mentality is that they took risks.  They embraced risks.  But, again, you know great wealth does not come about by being conservative.  You have to go out there on a limb and choose things and start things in terms of business that other people might not do.  So these were men who were trailblazers, all of them.  And so, you have to become, and part of that is taking risks, they have to be educated, you have to study, you have to learn, you have to get mentors.  I always say that all the rich men I dated, they were goal diggers as well, because the reason they became wealthy is they surrounded themselves with other wealthy people.  If they want to be a billionaire, believe you me they would be networking and getting themselves around those types of people.

Alissa Kriteman: Got it.  You talk a little bit about the difference between a goal digger and a gold digger.  So, can you say a little more about that?  I think thats really a cute terminology.

Alicia Dunams: Well I think thats funny because a goal digger, I think is, could be a woman or a man, but you pretty much surround yourself with the type of people you want to be with or like, people you want to be like, and so to learn from them.  The rich men I dated I found I wasn't interested in having romantic relationships with them, I was rather interested in them being my mentor and friend and so, actually most of them, you know, I dating one or two times, and we ended up becoming friends, and they became my mentor.  So, I think you surround yourself with people you want to be like, now, a gold digger is someone who surrounds themselves with people that they want to be like in terms of wealth, but they don't want to do the work.

Alissa Kriteman: Mmm.  Got it.  Now do you think that men can sense when they're around a woman who's a gold digger?

Alicia Dunams: A G-O-L-D digger, like a gold digger?  Oh, yeah, I think so, because one thing that these men said to me, the reason they said you're industrious enough to be your own millionaire and they encouraged me to write my book and they encouraged me to invest and they encouraged me to do all these things is because they saw the drive in me.  They saw that, they saw a little bit of themselves in me, that desire, that drive, that risk-taking, you know, really, that quest for knowledge.  And so, they could sense I was not trying to marry them, I was not trying to have, you know, romantic relationships with them, they saw me as really wanting to create this for myself.  So, I think if I were a gold digger, I would not be asking them what they invested in, I would not be asking about their business, I would not asking about those things, I would be just like, OK, take me along for the ride and I'll go shopping while you work during the day.  So, I think this gave me the opportunity meeting all of these men which I normally wouldn't have met unless I kind of thought outside the box and said, hey lets join a dating agency, so it kind of took me on a journey.  Since meeting these men opened my eyes to a new world and I'm actually actualizing it, I'm creating what they created: they showed my how to do it.

Alissa Kriteman: I love that, I love that, its just like the epitome of an empowered woman, you know?  You see an opportunity and you go for it.  There's no waiting for somebody else to provide that for you.  So what is this, yeah, what is this “Sex and the City” syndrome?  I think we're all pretty familiar with that show.  But, what's your take on it?

Alicia Dunams: Well, “Sex and the City” syndrome is two-fold for me.  First, I think, you know, in general, women out there, and this could be a sweeping generalization, when you go shopping, or when you're buying material things, or like, you know, Carrie from “Sex and the City,” you know, she has the shoes and the bags in her closet probably amounted to so many houses or mortgage.  She could own a place in New York for how much she spent on bar tabs and clothing.  And so I think in one part is that women have a “Sex and the City” syndrome need to fill a void in their life and so sometimes people see material things or buy material things thats filling that.  And so I think thats something thats a spiritual journey, that people need to go on, where they meet to fill their lives with other things, or realize that they don't need those things to be complete, that you're complete as is.  So I think thats one step.  Another thing is the “Sex and the City” syndrome, yeah its fine to spend money, thats great, but you want to spend money on things that are going to make you money.  You want to spend money on assets, not liabilities.  And so, when I have a chunk of change, when I have, when I saved my money, I always think about: what am I going to invest in?  Do I invest in property, do I invest in, you know, this company, do I create a company, or do I go shopping for shoes?  Because obviously, when you are investing in yourself, when you become an entrepreneur, when you're investing in a product, or like in an income property, because I invest in real estate, is that that is something that will create wealth for you in the long run, but buying a pair of shoes is not going to.  So you can spend money: rich men spend money, but they spend it on assets.

Alissa Kriteman: Now what if you're someone who is just starting out in this whole thing and you realize, OK, I'm not saving, I need to save, I need to think about my future, and you have to take baby steps.  Because I feel like, you're so powerful, you're in the game, you've had a chunk of money, you've probably made a bunch of money in real estate.  But, what about for women who are just waking up and looking around and going, “Oh my God, I have to take care of myself, I'm in my early 30s, I'm not married, I don't want to marry for money.”  There are some things, I know you talked about making sure you're not feeling a void and that you're feeling complete within yourself.  I really like that.  But there were some other practical, like, savings kind of things, or join some kind of financial group.  What's your take on what women can do if they're not, if they don't have a bunch of money to start investing?

Alicia Dunams: Well, this is the thing that you need to do, OK?  So, I think women, what they need to do is, they have their full-time job, but then you start up a side business.  And again, this path to wealth is not overnight, it requires work, so what are you passionate about?  And so, you have your nine-to-five job, you have your whatever job that pays your monthly payments and all of that, but you start a side business.  And eventually, when you focus on your side business, eventually your side business can surpass the amount of money you are making in your nine-to-five job.  It should, I mean, the way you say, if there's something you are good at, that you really love to do, and that you're passionate about, and because when you put your focus on that, it becomes bigger.  And again, being an entrepreneur is a huge thing, so you need to start a business.  So you have your nine-to-five, and then you start a business.  And then you work hard, at that business.  Another thing I suggest at, to women, is to buy property.  You know, if you are renting, you have to spend money anyway, monthly, every month, to live, so you might as well buy something.  Now, I suggest that you buy something small, like buy like a duplex, and you live on one side and you rent the other side out, because you always want someone else paying part of your mortgage.  So, don't always, I mean, I think a lot of people, you know, people you see whats happening with the whole subprime mortgage.  Where people keep on buying up, and its like, don't buy up, its like, maybe you can buy another property, and someone else pays the mortgage.  You don't want to, people always keep on buying up, and so you have to just make smart, focused decisions, so practical steps is start your own business and surround yourself with people you want to be with, network, get around those people, and just keep on focusing.  And this mind-set, this is all they do.  We talk about the practicalities, but this is practical: the mind-set is practical when you're optimistic, when you embrace risk, when you focus on what you want in life you create it.  So sometimes we think its like, oh, you know, thinking positive and visualizing, oh thats woo woo, thats not practical, but I think its very practical because thats what I do and everything that I have focused on, and I didn't start off, I was a single mom, I bought my house, but I was just working a nine-to-five job, and then I started a business and then I just focused, focused on what I wanted to create, and it requires hard work, gumption, confidence, and it eventually comes through, so.

Alissa Kriteman: Mmm.  I love it.  I love your energy.  I'm getting all excited now.  [laughter]  All right, we're going to take a break to support our sponsors and when we come back I'm so excited to talk a little bit more about some of the ways that we can continue on this road to being our own millionaires.  So, I'm your host Alissa Kriteman, your listening to “Just for Women: Dating, Relationships, and Sex.”  We're talking with Alicia Dunams, author of “Goal Digger” and, wow, just some amazing information.  And we'll be right back.

[commercial break]

Alissa Kriteman: Welcome back to  “Just for Women.”  I'm your host, Alissa Kriteman.  We're talking today with  Alicia Dunams, author of “Goal Digger,” learning about how this woman took her desire to find someone who was going to provide for her and completely turn that on its head and really realize that she could be the  provider of her life.  So, Alicia, lets talk a little bit more about that.  I'd love to hear from you, you know, you're clearly an empowered woman: you're a single mom, you're out there running a business, lets talk about what its like to be dating.  I mean, have you met somebody?  Are you in love?  Whats that like to be so powerful and, you know, so on in your professional life; how's your personal life?

Alicia Dunams: Wow, you know, thats really interesting.  I'm not dating anyone, I'm single.  And, I think you can have it all.  I definitely think so.  I am a single mom and I do enjoy my work.  And I feel like, you know, my day is, compared to other people, I am like, loving life.  I wake up any time I want, and I'm finished with work at three o'clock.  So, I don't have a crazy schedule.  I have a great social life, I go out a couple times a week with girlfriends, girls nights, but I don't have someone special, and I find that to be very interesting, that, since I've written my book, “Goal Digger: Lessons Learned from the Rich Rich Men I Dated,” that its difficult to meet men because they are very intimidated by me.

Alissa Kriteman: Uh hmm.

Alicia Dunams: I find the men that I dated to write the book are the only men that can kind of handle me.  Like guys who are like my age or, you know, there's regular folk type of guys that you meet at the bar and stuff that kind of, I think, are overwhelmed by me so I do seem to still attract older, wealthy men, because they seem really enthused by my energy, and I think younger men are a little kind of don't really know what to do with me.  So, I am single, and that's by choice.

Alissa Kriteman: See, isn't this interesting?  This is exactly why I have my show, because thats like, these are the things that we as women who are creating the lives that we love and the lives that we want.  There seems to be this gap of men, available men who do not get intimidated by women who have it all together.  And while I think its exciting and amazing, theres still this opportunity, I think, for growth between the sexes, and so are you interested in older men, or how is it that you're approaching dating now?

Alicia Dunams: Well, so this is so interesting, I was thinking of writing this in my blog this week.  So, pretty much, I used to tell, on every first date, I used to tell people I wrote a book and the name of the book and I found that that really kind of off-kiltered the whole dynamic.  You know, it kind of just made it, you know, because you just want people to get to know you, and so when you say, “Hi, my name is Alicia, I'm the author of 'Goal Digger,' it talks about all the rich men I dated and how great my life is,” so...

Alissa Kriteman: Right.

Alicia Dunams: ...Its kind of off-putting, and so, I let it just kind of sink in, and I just don't tell them anything about me.  Other than, I, you know, kind of, I'm just really a single mom and I'm an entrepreneur and I don't go into too much detail and then, thats something I will either reveal, of course, to them as I date them.  Some men are just like, “wow, I, you know, I'm friends with, actually, one of the men in my book, and he thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread, he totally gets me, and so there are some men who just get me, that I get along with, but I find that these are men who are trailblazers or are entrepreneurs.  They understand me and they're not, they're very confidant, what I call the “rich man mentality.”  They have this confidence, so they don't care what people think.  And obviously, they're just super-confidant, so they can handle me.  Its really interesting, so it has changed up my dating life a little bit because I come with a whole bunch of information.  I think if someone Googles me, they come up with a lot of pages on me, but men that really get me see that I'm just really impassioned and impassioned about what I do.  I'm a renegade entrepreneur, I'm going out there and really unapologetic about what I have done, but then there's the men who are like, you've dated a lot of rich men, so there's like conservative men who might feel that I'm a little taboo or whatever.  I feel that its kind of hilarious, the whole thing, its definitely changed it up.  My ex-boyfriend, when he found out I was writing the book, he was like, no man is ever going to want to marry you after, you know, you write this book.  I'm like, well, you know, I'm going to do it.  I'm going to just, you know, I always say, if Madonna can get married, then anyone can get married.  [laughter]

Alissa Kriteman: I so, so agree.  And I'm so glad you wrote this book, because you are following your dreams and your passion, and you're really helping myself and so many women out there who want to be self-sufficient, but not even self-sufficient, but, you know, what you want is to be fully independently have your own knowledge and wisdom and finances and be fully adept in that area and have a relationship too, and it has worked.  And thats the thing, as we grow up into empowered women in our lives, its critical, its critical to read books like yours and critical to understand what it takes because so many of us were never taught how to do this.  I know my family did not teach me, my parents did not teach me.  I mean, when I was in college, I had surpassed my parents' understanding of how to be in the world and I so appreciate reading books like yours and that you have been unapologetic about who you are.  It was the same thing for me when I was dating and I had my show called “Just for Women: Dating, Relationships, and Sex” and these guys would check out my show and they're like, holy shit, you know, is she just going to interview me and what is this whole thing, and yeah, and I feel very similarly, and I'm sure a lot of the audience does.  We're kicking women, and we want to have relationships that actually serve and feed and honor who we are, and we don't want to have to dumb down, and that's what I appreciate about you, is that you're following your dreams, like you said, you're walking your talk, you have to take risks, and you going to do that.  And you, and what I believe too is that there is someone out there for you who is perfectly aligned with who you are and I think that person shows up when the timing is right and that's what happens for me and I'm like, I just turned 39, and I waited all this time, I'm like, I know there's someone out there, I know it.  And so I just so appreciate your offering your gifts in the way that you are.

Alicia Dunams: Oh, no, I love to talk about it, I'm glad I could talk to you about this, because I love how you're pulling in women, relationships, success, all of those things, because my book, one thing I love about my book, and just, its the comments I get from women, it's lights them on fire.  My book is not about how to make  whole bunch of money and working 90 hours a week, 100 hours a week, thats not what my book is about.  What my book is about is living the life you desire, whatever that means.  My book is about getting exciting, being on fire.  And thats why, you know, and I've talked about my book to women's organizations and people do sometimes want, like, step one, step two, step three to make a million dollars.  Its doesn't work that way, it is really a mind-set.  When Donald Trump comes out with a book, “Think Big,” people might not think that's practical, because it doesn't give  step one, step two, step three, but it's, the reason he has created so much wealth is because he thinks big and then he executes.  So its the way, so you think, you create that mind-set, you're optimistic, you're fearless, you're like, I can do anything I want to do, and then you execute.  Then you go do it, whatever that is, and that's usually following your passion.  And so, my book is about thinking big, living big, really following your life's desires, achieving goals, whatever goals you have in life, and just going out and doing it and not saying no.

Alissa Kriteman: I really love that, I love that.  Its so important.  So what are some practical ways that women, you know, can, you talk about having people around you, what if you're someone who doesn't necessarily have millionaires around you?

Alicia Dunams: You go find them.  [laughter]  Its simply, you literally go find them.  The other day I was on my Facebook page, and I wanted to contact an author that I totally respect.  Do, what did I do?  I found him, and he emailed me.  And there, its done.  Nine out of 10 people, if you ask for their help, they will say yes.  That's it, that's the whole thing about it, just go do it, its not about talking yourself out of it, or they won't call me, or na na na na na.  If you want to contact a producer to produce your screenplay, you pick up the phone and do it, I mean, that's the difference.  I say, there's two types of people, there's achievers and there's dreamers.  Both of those types dream, but achievers do something about it, and that is execute.  So, if you want to contact someone, if you want to start a business, if you want to, you write them.  Now, I mean, we are in such a great age, we have the capability, from our kitchen table, to do that.  So, you do it.  You surround yourself with people who want to be millionaires, you surround yourself with millionaires, there's all kinds of organizations, theres all kinds of ways to get around people who are doing things and creating the life they want.

Alissa Kriteman: I love it.  I love it.  I just, I'm trying to, as I listen, I think about some women in the audience, and what are women, what are some ways that women get stuck, and how do they get unstuck?  I mean, confidence is one, but even you, I mean, how do you manage, like, having a child and having your career?  I mean, I'm just trying to think of ways that women could get stuck and what we can do to move through that.

Alicia Dunams: Well, my girlfriend was telling me the other day, she's a couple years older than me, she doesn't have a child, she's single, and she goes, “Alicia, I admire you so much because you are doing way more beyond, and you have a whole other responsibility.”  What can I tell you?  If you want something, you'll do it.  I tell you, having my daughter made me realize that I only have a certain amount of hours in the day.

Alissa Kriteman: Mmm.

Alicia Dunams: Because when she's home, its her time.  So if it's going to get done, it needs to get done between 8 and 3.  [laughter]  So, I can't mess around, and so it's a matter of just prioritizing things and executing, making things happen.  And so, you write a to do list, this is a practical thing for someone to do out here, I coach women as well, is to write a timeline  At the end of the timeline, state your ultimate goal, whatever it is, think big, become a millionaire, travel around the world, whatever you want, and then you write the little minuscule day-to-day steps that are required to achieve that goal because every major goal is just a compilation of many, many steps.  So, like, travel around the world: I need to save $5000, I need to buy a round the world ticket, I need to buy some hiking boots and a backpack, its like step one, step two, step three, and it starts happening.  But when you are, you just think of the big picture, the end goal, it becomes overwhelming, so you end up not doing anything, and you end up getting stuck, and becoming paralyzed, like a deer in headlights, because its like “Oh, wow, that is way too big.”  But you think about a million dollars, a million dollars is only making, you know, I don't have my calculator here, but it's making a couple $100 an hour over time, so, OK, you want to make a million dollars or $500,000, so you divide that by days in a week and months in a year and you do that whole thing, and how much is it an hour.  And whatever that is an hour, that's how much you charge for the thing that you're passionate about.  That's exactly how you do it, you don't think about the end goal, because its overwhelming, you take it and I have to make $200 an hour, so that means my consulting fee needs to be $200 an hour and I need these many clients, and there we go.  Like, I was talking to my coach today, and he said, “Alicia,” you know, I had a goal for several thousand a month, and he goes, “oh, thats two clients, every two weeks, at this.”  Then it gets down to really minuscule like, “oh, thats all, OK,” I'm going to be calling two people this week and pitching them my, you know, business or my product or whatever.  Thats how you do it.  Thats why women, I think, get stuck and overwhelmed.  No, you just look at the day-to-day, what do I need to do today to make that happen in the future?

Alissa Kriteman: Absolutely, I really like that.  Its so true.  We look at this big, big idea, you know, even like getting married, you know, it's like, I'm getting married, what do I have to do?  I have to date this many people, you know [laughter] maybe take a course on, you know, loving yourself or whatever, you know, you want to lose five pounds, I mean everything, so it really is, it sounds like breaking it down, it formulaic.  None of this is rocket science, thats what I'm starting to see.  We think that certain things are for other people, they're actually not.

Alicia Dunams: Yeah, exactly, thats what I've learned, you're a man, you're a millionaire, that's for you, I can't have that, but its very formulaic, as you said.  It is literally taking your goal and splicing it up into what you need to do day-to-day.  Having that timeline, having your “I want to be, I want to do, I want to have” list.  Exactly, my girlfriend said, who's 34, she says she wants to have a baby by the time I'm 35 and be married.  She's single and has no prospects.  I'm like, you need to make this a full-time job, then.  You need to be on eHarmony, and whatever, you need to be dating, every lunch and dinner on a date with a man.  And, you need to treat it like a timeline, if thats how bad you want it, you know.  Some people might approach it a different way, but again, you know, and for me, its usually like OK, I want an investment property by the end of this year.  That means I need to save this kind of money, and I need to do this, and I need to talk to a real estate agent, I need to go.  So you do the daily steps that are kind of mundane, but when all combined, they lead to a huge goal.

Alissa Kriteman: Totally, and here's the last piece I want to talk about before I let you go.  I'm planning a wedding, right?  And this is when I'm starting to connect with what you're saying.  I was stuck, I could not move in my wedding planning.  I was like, what the heck, I can't even, I couldn't even pick up the phone.  Then my partner sent me a book called “The Conscious Bride,” and what do you think it's all about?  It's all about the emotional issues that come up unconsciously when we are trying to take on something thats so big.  And what I'm hearing in what you're saying is the same exact thing.  So how do you support women in the emotional issues that come up, that are like “I don't think I can do it, I'm not an entrepreneur” because I would think theres a lot of emotion when you start to hang around with networkers and go-getters and you don't feel like you are one, but, like, maybe everyone around you is like.  Like you said, these guys looked at you and they're like, “Alicia, you can totally go do this yourself, you have everything,” but you didn't see that.  So what are some of the things that women tend to deal with as they launch out into making their own millions?  That you can sort of say, like, “hey women, be aware of this, and don't let it stop you.”

Alicia Dunams: Well, you have doubt, you have fear, all of those things come up.  You're not confident.  All of these fears come up.  And, I always think, you know, what does Eleanor Roosevelt said in all these?  Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.  So, you just go out and boldly do it.  I men, I would say go and read my book, because I go through all of this in “Goal Digger,” about becoming fearless, and that, really, the only truly thing out there that is, to really be afraid of is death, but hey that happens anyways, think about it.  The one ting we are so scared of is one thing that is inevitable to happen.  So, I'm thinking, hey, the worst thing's going to happen anyways, so I might as well go out and live life, so I really grab life by the horns and thats what I encourage other women to do.  Not to let their fears hold them back, or not to let, you know, their husbands hold them back, or money to hold you back, you know, because sometimes you have to self-invest, and don't let those things hold you back, because what you will be is you will be saying “I, you know, could have, would have, should have” when you're 80 years old.  And what, I mean that, I think that would be the worst thing, is to have those regrets, rather than try it.  And also a big, huge portion of success is failure.  I mean, it's calling, I have people who talk, I've heard it, you know, do “fail forward fast.”  You know, three F's: “fail forward fast,” so when you're going toward your goal, and you have a stumbling block or you feel like you fail, you just pick back up and keep on doing it, and thats how everyone does it.  All these rich guys, everyone you can think of, they have all failed, but they have been failed into something that they are now successful in, you know.  You have to look at challenges, you have to embrace challenges, and grow from them.

Alissa Kriteman: Mmm.  You are so inspiring.  Thank you so much for being on “Just for Women” today.  So, I definitely want women to go and check out your book, so we can find you where?

Alicia Dunams: You can just go to goaldigger.com, that's g-o-a-l-d-i-g-g-e-r.com.  I also have a website called beawealthygirl.com, and that was a really fun, exciting tele-seminar and series I did with all of these other self-made women millionaires.

Alissa Kriteman: Awesome.  beawealthygirl.com.  And so, you're a private coach, your a speaker, what else?

Alicia Dunams: Yeah, I coach women.  If you want to jump start your idea, I coach women great.  I'm a business strategist, so I help people with their businesses, I invest in real estate, I have my own business, and I'm turning my book into a movie, so look for “Goal Digger” in the theaters soon.

Alissa Kriteman: Yeah, that sounds like so much fun!  Are you going to star in it too?

Alicia Dunams: Oh, [laughter] I don't know about that.

[laughter]

Alissa Kriteman: I wouldn't be surprised.  Alicia, thank you so much for being on “Just for Women,” I so appreciate your journey and you sharing yourself so intimately and publicly as well.

Alicia Dunams: Oh, I appreciate it, thank you so much.

Alissa Kriteman: Listeners, I would just like to remind you that you can email me at alissa, [email protected]  I'd love to hear your comments, any questions you have, always interested in bringing what you're interested in to the show.  And for text and transcripts of the show, and other shows in the Personal Life Media network, just visit our website at personallifemedia.com.  And don't forget, you can also get my book, “Alissa's Four Cornerstones to Living Your Dream,” just go to sacredspa.org, click on the book cover icon.  Thank you again for being with us and sharing with us all of your insight and wisdom as to how we can be empowered women today, here on “Just for Women.”  Thank you Alicia Dunams and for more juicy news you can use, audience, just tune in next week.  This is your host, Alissa Kriteman.  You're listening to “Just for Women: Dating, Relationships, and Sex.”

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