Aging Gratefully: The Doctor and The Man from Hollywood on the Third Age of Life
In your 50's? 60's? What are you going to do with the rest of your life to make it TWICE as fun? Are you looking for a dream? Have a dream but not the motivation to pursue it? Crave more meaning and fulfillment in your life? Or are you having a great time moving into the third age of your life and want to connect with others like yourself? If the answer to some of these questions is yes, you need to tune in to the experts on "Aging Gratefully," co-hosts Dr. Peter Brill and David Debin, the heartfelt duo that wants to be with you every step of the way in creating and informing the life you want today and going forward.
Hear famous and important people in all the fields related to human development and aging. Authors, educators, business leaders, visionaries, and spiritual leaders are among the guests who share their knowledge, wisdom and sense of humor with the Doctor and The Man From Hollywood.
From these different perspectives, our hosts take on the problems and advantages of the Third Age; your first age is childhood, your second age is building your career and raising your family, and your Third Age is the rest of your life - the time dedicated to finding deeper meaning and fulfillment, to renewed passion, purpose and joy.
Co-host Peter Brill is an MD, a psychiatrist and an entrepreneur who ran two companies and taught simultaneously at the University of Pennsylvania Medical School and the Wharton School of Business. He retired at the age of 54 and is here to share his advice on continuing to make new trysts with life after retirement.
The doctor's partner is David Debin, a former Hollywood producer and writer as well as a multi-published novelist who achieved big-time success in Hollywood where he lived the glamorous life for three decades before retiring in favor of spiritual pursuits. David's soulful perspective and fabulous attitude will warm your heart on every show.
Tune in weekly to get a great dose of potential for your third age.
A Sample of Aging Gratefully Guests:
- Karen Wright
- Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant
- Joan Frentz
- Judith Sherven & Jim Sniechowski
- Jane Isay
- Mike Farrell
- Barbara E. Friesner
- Alex Avery
- Jan Cullinane
- Pamela Blair
- Brad Knight
- Charles Hirschhorn
- Harold G. Koenig
- Stacy Tessler Lindau
- Harris Wofford
- Sunny Hersh
- Kenneth Pargament
- Marlene M. Browne
- Marie H. Browne
- Rabbi Gershon Winkler
- Paul Malley
- Stephen Paul
- Susan Schachterle
- Marcia Wieder
- Nora Klaver
- Loretta Redd
- Judith Boice
- Jed Diamond
- Rita Benasutti
- Fred Brock
- Donna Henes
- Christiane Northrup
- Dotsie Bregel
- Meredith Medland
- Lisa DeRosimo
- Eric Plasker
- Alice Solomon
Current Podcast Episodes – Always Free!
Episode 38: Rituals and Celebrations for All Occasions: Donna Henes
Do you remember Queen for a day? Well, our guest on today’s podcast, Donna Henes, suggests in her latest book, The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife, that women in midlife and beyond become their own Queen. Certainly, many woman need to own their own authority and purpose, but what does it mean to become a Queen? Donna will answer this and other questions on women’s issues. She’s also an expert on creating rituals and celebrations for any occasion, not to mention that she’s got a great sense of humor.more.
Episode 37: Remembering the Truth of Who You Are: Karen Wright
Today we talk to the author of a little book that came out of nowhere to make a big national splash. If you haven’t read it, it’s called “The Sequoia Seed: Remembering the Truth About Who You Are.” The author is Karen Wright, a woman who has had a lot of different careers and lived to tell about them. In her life she’s been many things: an educator, securities broker, TV news reporter, corporate consultant, author, speaker… Her book is about remembering the truth about who you really are. How do you get to the bottom of yourself? How did she do it? Karen tells us which is the real Karen Wright, and why. We all want to know who we really are, unless we’re afraid to risk knowing the truth. Karen’s online magazine – or ezine – along with her workshops and retreats -- helps women to connect to their deepest calling and take a step she calls “Risking mediocrity for greatness.” How can you get ready to take that risk? In the interview we talk about enlightenment and lasting happiness – do they exist? What are they? Do you/can you have them?more.
Episode 36: Stress Management: “Don’t Get Mad, Get Funny”: Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant
Aristotle said, "The gods, too, are fond of a joke." Who can doubt the benefit of laughter? The famous writer, Norman Cousins, is said to have cured his cancer with laughter. What does every woman say she is looking for in a man? A good sense of humor. Today’s guest, Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant, author of Don’t Get Mad, Get Funny: A Light-Hearted Approach to Stress Management, believes it is her mission to help the world become saner and healthier through humor.
Jasheway-Bryant has written fifteen books. In 2003, she won the Erma Bombeck Award for Humor Writing, which probably explains why she has laugh lines on her face, her stomach, and oddly, her pancreas. She is a stress management and humor expert, health educator, comedy writer, and stand-up comic. Her mission, if she decides to accept it, is to help the world become healthier and more sane through laughter. Leigh Anne claims to be the kind of girl who, as Mae West said, “Climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.”more.
Episode 35: Life Begins @ 60: Joan Frentz
Our bodies are the temples of our souls. In this life we live only as long as they live and we suffer when they suffer and we die when they die. Obviously, we need to take care of our temples. Our guest today is Joan Frentz, author of Life Begins @ 60: Living Longer Stronger Lives. After 60 she went from chronic arthritic and muscular pain to great health and strength and realized “I was healthier and felt better than ever.” How did she do it? Can you become stronger and healthier after 60? What does it take? What are the secrets?
Joan Frentz is a former business owner, volunteer, dancer, and photographer’s model. She’s now a mother and grandmother. On turning 60, Joan realized she was stronger and felt healthier then at any time in her life. How could this be? She had spent years dealing with discomfort, pain from the debilitating affects of arthritis in her spine, neck, hands, and feet. A long process of first getting to know her own body, becoming and staying physically fit through exercise and healthier eating…and at the same time growing mentally stronger through conscious awareness training, including proper breathing and meditation, Joan has transformed what was always an active physical life to one free of pain and need for medication. Exercise may not be the cure-all but it certainly is close. She feels that in these days, women are writing new chapters. With it not only possible but probable to live to be 100 and beyond, what do we need to know and do to ensure a physically active and independent life. Our interview covers:
- The major components of an exercise program
- Keeping your body healthy
- Getting to know your own body
- Starting and maintaining an exercise program
- Fitness and the foods we eat
- Weight control
Episode 34: Bridging Heart and Marketing: Dr. Judith Sherven and Dr. Jim Sniechowski
Many Third Agers are in jobs that no longer satisfy them, and others are facing retirement without enough money to maintain their lifestyle. One solution is to start your own business. The internet is a natural place to market. But how can you combine your spirit and your passion with marketing? Our guests today, Drs. Judith Sherven, and Jim Sniechowski say they are teaching people to do just that – market on the internet from their passion. Judith Sherven is a clinical psychologist who worked in private practice for twenty-two years. Her husband, Jim Sniechowski, holds a doctorate in Human Behavior and co-founded the Men's Health Network in Washington, D.C. They are the bestselling authors of Be Loved for Who You Really Are. Their latest endeavor is “Soft Sell Internet Marketing.”
What they tell us is this: if you're looking for a way to market your products and services online that's in alignment with your heart-based professional values and personal integrity - it's called Soft Sell marketing. What is soft sell marketing?
If someone buys something from you and they expect that the amount of money they pay for it will return to them plus a profit, that's called an ROI – Return on Investment – transaction. This is the way most standard business transactions are designed and understood.
But what if you're a parenting counselor and someone comes to you for advice with their 5 year old. You make a suggestion and it works. Their child is better. And they give you a check. Do they expect the amount of the check to return to them plus a profit? No. That's not the nature of the transaction.
What you've done is changed their life experience. And for that type of transaction we use the term ROE – Return of Experience. Soft Sell marketers specialize in ROE – Return of Experience. And it's for you, the Soft Sell marketer, that Bridging Heart and Marketing is designed and dedicated.more.
Episode 33: Adult Children and Their Parents: A Delicate Relationship: Jane Isay
No one can say the relationship between Third Agers and their adult children is always easy. Our guest, author Jane Isay says, “It is no easier being the parent to an adult child than it was raising children at any other stage of growth.” How do we nourish good a relationship with our adult children? What do they complain about? Do they love and appreciate us? Jane Isay, author of Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents, gives us a roadmap to enrich this often difficult relationship.
Jane Isay grew up in New York City, the daughter of a columnist for the New York Post and a psychiatrist. She worked at the Yale University Press, creating their lists in psychiatry, psychology, and child development. In 1979 she moved to Basic Books, and for the next 25 years she was an executive at a number of publishing houses. In 2004 she left her job as Editor-in-Chief at Harcourt Trade Books to embark on a new career as a writer. Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents is the result. Some of the questions she tackles in the episode of Aging Gratefully are:
1.) How can one close the communications gap between parents and their grown kids?
2.) How come the decade of the 2000’s can be so tense and disappointing?
3.) Grandchildren and their parents—what are the keys to their kingdom?
4.) What are some of the issues or problems facing a person when marrying into a family with adult children?
5.) What about money and its discontents?
6.) What are the words that welcome and the words that separate?
7.) Why we have to grow into this new stage of parenting, and how to do it?
Episode 32: M*A*S*H’s Mike Farrell: Friendship and Wisdom
Friendship and wisdom are two of the saving virtues of the Third Age. Friendship is a special kind of love that endures the winter of loss, fills the spaces of our heart and makes so many moments special. And wisdom allows us to carry the nourishing cup of understanding to the thirsty mouths of the world as well as our selves. Today’s show is about both: friendship and wisdom. The friendship is between Mike Farrell, famous for his role in Mash, and his friend, author John O’Donohue, who unexpectedly passed away recently. The wisdom is in a book by John called To Bless the Space Between Us.
Mike Farrell is best known for his eight years on M*A*S*H and five seasons on Providence. He is also a writer, director, producer, and author of Just Call Me Mike: A Journey to Actor and Activist. Mike joins us to talk about the new book, To Bless the Space Between Us, written by his dear friend, the late John O’Donohue. O’Donohuepassed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 52 – just two months before To Bless the Space Between Us was released.
What does it mean to bless others and ourselves? In this collection of O'Donohue's poetic prayers, the author of Beauty and Anam Cara focuses on bringing God's blessings into the liminal spaces in our lives: times of transition, grieving, change or preparation for the unknown. Some of the blessings are for specific situations that are bread-and-butter staples of other prayer books, such as benedictions over births, weddings, new jobs or new homes. Others are unexpected and bravely dark, including a prayer for the loved ones left behind after a suicide, or for a parent after the death of a child. O'Donohue is not afraid to tackle the fear and guilt that many harbor secretly, bringing shame and addiction out into the open even while celebrating new life and new love. His writing is sensitive and deep: As light departs to let the earth be one with night, Silence deepens in the mind, and thoughts grow slow; The basket of twilight brims over with colors, he says of evening Vespers. The book closes with the Irish priest's personal—and often profound—musings on the act of blessing, drawing on Celtic spirituality and the wisdom of poets and philosophers.more.
Episode 31: The “Sandwich” Generation: Barbara Friesner
Are you a member of the sandwich generation – squeezed between raising children and caregiving responsibilities for your parents, in-laws, or other aging loved ones? Are you in a power struggle with your siblings? Are their often opposing objectives and/or philosophies of care for your senior parents creating conflict and bringing progress to a standstill? Are elder care issues such as driving, finances, maintaining their home, moving into an assisted living community or nursing home, Alzheimers or dementia, etc. costing you time, money, relationships, and peace of mind? Are you struggling to balance work and elder care and feeling you're losing control of both? Listen to this interview with Barbara Friesner, of Agewiseliving.com for the answers to these and other questions about caregiving.
BARBARA E. FRIESNER, author of The Ultimate Caregiver's Survival Guide, is an expert on issues affecting Seniors and their families. Barbara has been featured on NY1 TV's "Focus on Seniors", "Coping With Caregiving" and on radio shows across the country.
In addition to her FREE monthly newsletter, Barbara is the Eldercare Expert and writes a monthly column for the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. In addition, Barbara has been quoted in newspapers and magazines throughout the US.more.
Episode 30: Alex Avery: Organic Foods – The Controversy
Ever wonder if organic foods are worth their high price? Are the marketing claims true? Are organic foods really more nutritious, safer, and better for the environment? Do the benefits of organic farming really outweigh the benefits of conventional farming? Can you handle the truth? If you’re an organic food devotee, get ready to be enraged.
Alex Avery is the author of the controversial book, “The Truth About Organic Foods.” He is the Director of Research and Education at the Center for Global Food Issues, a project of the Hudson Institute. Since joining the Center in 1994, Avery has spoken to a wide variety of national and international audiences and has represented the Center at the United Nations World Food Summit in Rome.
In his book he challenges widely accepted notions that organic food is better for your health. A university study comparing the amount of bacteria on conventionally-grown and organically-grown produce found that the level of the common bacteria E. coli on certified organic produce was "not statistically different from that in conventional samples." Avery has attacked the researchers for their pro-organic "bias." In this podcast he passionately takes on all dissenters.more.
Episode 29: The New Retirement: Jan Cullinane
Sooner or later everyone has to make a decision about when they retire, what it looks like, and where they want to spend their retirement. Our guest today, Jan Cullinane, is co-author of the book, “The New Retirement: The Ultimate Guide To The Rest of Your Life.” Her book tackles the basic questions of what to do in your retirement and is especially thorough in exploring where you should spend it. Cullinane and Fitzgerald, her co-author, give a report card to each community they recommend, grading them on climate, cost of living, health care, transportation and things to do. As you might expect, Florida’s coastal communities rank among their favorites but so do Reno (perhaps you’ll find a new career at its professional bartending school!) and Asheville, North Carolina. The interview also addresses the questions, how do you know if you’re really ready for retirement and what are the secret ingredients for a great retirement.
Jan Cullinane has a B.S. and M.Ed. from the University of Maryland and she’s the Retirement Expert for the NABBW (National Association of Baby Boomer Women). She is a regular contributor to “Ocean Breeze” and “Let Life In” magazines.more.
Episode 28: Loss and Grief: Dr. Pamela Blair
Loss and grief permeate the Third Age. Normally, we lose our parents, we lose our friends and one of the couple will lose their spouse and partner. How can we best cope with it? How much should we lean on our friends, and what can we expect over the years?
Dr. Pamela D. Blair is the co-author of the bestselling, award-winning book on grief entitled, “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye.” Dr. Blair is a holistic psychotherapist, spiritual counselor and life coach with a private practice in Hawthorne, NY. A frequently invited guest on TV, cable and radio talk shows, Dr. Blair has appeared several times as an expert on CBS TV. Her book is considered a classic in grief recovery. Dr. Blair’s current book is “The Next 50 Years: A Guide for Women at Midlife and Beyond.”
Some things Dr. Blair talks about are: how sudden death complicates the survivor’s life with unresolved regrets; how survivors replay the traumatic event over and over and how to stop it; and how to deal with PTST. This interview is a must for the sandwich generation.more.
Episode 27: Retirement Living TV Channel: Charles Hirschhorn and Brad Knight
This generation of retirees will live longer, be healthier, have more choices and more knowledge, and potentially experience this stage of life in fantastic new ways. Now there is a whole channel on TV devoted to information and entertainment directed specifically toward those who are retired. It includes everything from how to use electronics, a dating game, health advice and a myriad of interesting talk shows. On our show today we are very fortunate to have the network’s two founders, Charles Hirschhorn and Brad Knight, to tell us about this exciting new medium.
Charles Hirschhorn, Retirement Living TV’s Chief Executive Officer, created G4 Television, helped create the Fox Network, returned the Wonderful World of Disney to television, and has produced and developed over 20 major motion pictures.
Brad Knight, President of Retirement Living TV, is the driving force behind the network’s success in reaching more than 30 million homes.
Among the network’s lineup of shows is the AARP Magazine Show; The Art of Living; Health and Wellness Hour (everything from Alzheimer’s to Indian sweat lodges); and Daily Café (2 hours of news and interviews starring Florence Henderson).more.
Episode 26: Religion and Health: Harold G. Koenig, M.D.
A lot of us wonder whether religion and spirituality lead to better health, happiness and longevity. Can prayer cure illness? Can we pray for people and make them better? What are the benefits of meditation? Today we have someone uniquely qualified to answer these questions.
Harold G. Koenig, MD, is on the faculty at Duke as Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, and Associate Professor of Medicine. His research on religion and health has been featured on The Today Show, ABC’s World News Tonight, and Good Morning America as well as NPR and the BBC. He’s written many books, among “Spirituality in Patient Care” and “Spirituality and Medicine.”
Some of the questions Dr. Koenig answers are: 1) Why do deeply religious people recover from depression more quickly? 2) How does mindfulness meditation make people feel more peaceful? 3) Are people who just want to be “spiritual” not getting the healthful aspects of religion?more.
Episode 25: Stacy Tessler Lindau, MD: Woman’s Sexuality
Stacy Tessler Lindau, MD, MAPP, Assistant Professor Obstetrics and Gynecology and Medicine-Geriatrics at the University of Chicago. Dr. Lindau is one of the fastest rising young stars in the field of aging research. In this show we find out how Third Agers’ social networks contribute to their longevity and health. What kind of diseases women face as they age. How sexually active people are as they age. And how you can best stay healthy.
Dr. Lindau's research and clinical work focuses on health of women throughout the life course. Her teaching and mentoring efforts emphasize geriatrics education and research predominantly in the areas of ethics, sexual health, and primary care of older women. She is also working on several projects aimed to advance the health and life quality of older women and women living with chronic illness.
Some of the research she discusses:
The percentage of those surveyed who said they were sexually active declined with age: 73% of the 57-64 age group reported they were sexually active, compared with 53% of the 65-74 age group and 26% of the 75-85 age group.
Older women were less likely to report being sexually active than older men, and were less likely to be in intimate relationships. But women, also, were more than twice as likely to be widowed as men. Here's the breakdown:
-Ages 57-64: 62% of women and 84% of men reported sexual activity in the last year
-Ages 65-74: 40% of women and 67% of men reported sexual activity in the last year
-Ages 75-85: 16% percent of women and 38% of men reported sexual activity in the last year
Don’t miss this fascinating discussion.more.
Episode 24: US Senator Harris Wofford: Staying Engaged In Society After 50
91 million people are over the age of 50 in America. As this enormous number of people reach retirement age are we simply going to waste their talents and energy. In that age group, 94% of those who were surveyed think it is important or very important to find ways to keep older Americans engaged in society either working or volunteering. We have two guests today who are doing something about it.
Harris Wofford is currently the spokesman of Experience Wave, a national campaign to widen opportunities for older Americans to stay engaged in work and volunteering. Mr. Wofford was a U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania from 1991 to 1995. Since helping to launch the Peace Corps in 1961, Mr. Wofford has been at the forefront of the nation's service movement. He played a key role in both crafting and working to pass the trailblazing legislation that created AmeriCorps and the Corporation for National Service.
George Ruznak came to the US as an immigrant in 1957. Eight years later at age 26 he was the President of a computer company. After 10 years in industry, he became a management consultant with clients in over 20 countries. He started his retirement in 1993 after the sale of the firm and now works with the organization SCORE which uses the talents of retired executives to help younger entrepreneurs. Two very powerful and experienced guests on a topic close to all of us.more.
Episode 23: Losing Your Virginity After 40: Sunny Hersh
Should you lose your virginity after 40? How do you remain vital, sexy and alive? Our guest today, Sunny Hersh, author of Is it Hot in Here or am I just Hot? says midlife is “no time to play the blushing virgin.” She says “this is the time to live with the passion and pleasure you’ve been putting into everyone else’s life.” How do you do that?
Sunny Hersh is a wellness educator, journalist , workshop leader, editor of the e-newsletter Boomer Bites, and author of two books: Midlife Mamas on the Moon and Is it HOT in here, or am I just HOT? Sunny helps women overcome the negative expectations they have about aging, and starts them on the path to transforming their lives. She has a PhD in Laughter, a Black Belt in shopping.
Some of the things Sunny discusses with Peter and David:
- How does a 40-plus woman lose her virginity?
- Is there any truth to the urban legend about sex-starved older women?
- You know, Mrs. Robinson, Stifler’s Mom, that type?
- You call Viagra “the big blue elephant in the bedroom?” Why?
- There’s been a lot of bad press about hormone replacement.
- Should women ever consider HRT?
- Why do men hate going to the doctor, and what can their partners do about it?
Don’t be afraid to listen – it’s only your sex life we’re talking about.
Episode 22: Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy – Dr. Kenneth Pargament
The topic of religion has elicited powerful, passionate responses throughout history. So it’s not surprising that Dr. Kenneth Pargament’s latest study, which suggests that religious anxiety could increase the risk of death in the elderly, has garnered international attention.
Pargament, a professor of psychology who has taught at Bowling Green State University since 1979, has been interviewed by the Washington Post, New York Times, BBC and media from Norway and Japan since the controversial study was published in August.
“A number of studies have shown that religious involvement can help extend life expectancy,” says Pargament, who is also an adjunct professor at Boston University.
“This is the first one that found certain types can be a risk factor for health and mortality. This just kind of shows the other side of religion, that religion can raise fundamental questions for people and pose difficulty for people who get stuck in their struggle.”
Pargament was among the researchers who surveyed 596 elderly hospitalized patients in 1996. Patients who wondered if God had abandoned them, questioned God’s love or thought the devil had a role in their illness were more likely two years later to have died than patients who did not hold such beliefs.
“Having questions about God is not an automatic death sentence,” Pargament says, reiterating a point he has made in all those interviews with the media.
As a psychiatrist himself, Aging Gratefully’s co-host, Dr. Peter Brill, studied at one of the best universities with the one of the broadest perspectives in the country. However, nowhere in his training was spirituality ever mentioned or accepted. And yet there were clear sacred moments that occurred when souls touched in therapy. Often these were the most important moments of all. Subsequently, it has become clear that spirituality is essential to life in the Third Age. Dr. Kenneth Pargament has spent his career working to integrate spirituality and psychotherapy. His new book is called Spirituality Integrated Psychotherapy: Understanding and Addressing the Sacred.more.
Episode 21: Men’s Extra Marital Affairs: Marlene M. Browne,Esq. and Marie H. Browne, Ph.d
Extra-marital affairs are everywhere. We see them in the movies and we hear about friends whose relationships have ended because the husband became involved with someone else. How common are these affairs? What can a woman do to keep her husband from straying? Marie H. Browne, RN, Ph.D, and her attorney daughter, Marlene M. Browne, have written a book, “You Can't Have Him, He's Mine: How to Affair- Proof Your Relationship".
Marlene Browne is a women’s divorce attorney and her mother, Marie, is a therapist who counsels women going through divorce. Between them they’ve heard all the stories, worked all the scenarios and know almost all there is to know about the infidelity of husbands in these relationships. They discuss the things you don’t know or realize about men’s infidelity, such as: less men cheat than you think; more men are willing not to stray if they find contentment at home; men cheat for emotional connection, much as women do; men will equate sex with intimacy, so if a wife or long-term partner holds out on sex she’s preventing him from expressing intimacy in a typical male way. They then move on to things you don’t know or understand about affair-proofing your relationship. Listen to this podcast for the critical information you absolutely need to know.more.
Episode 20: Aging and the Kaballah: Rabbi Gershon Winkler
The Third Age is a spiritual age. The search for passion, purpose and joy ride along with the fear and fact of illness and death. Perhaps this calls for a hardy wisdom. To quote today’s guest, Rabbi Gershon Winkler, ancient life was lived with “dark times and situations that would make our paradigm seem like Disneyland.” What can we learn from this mystical religion and time? Find out what the ancient Kabala has to say about preparing yourself for the modernThird Age.more.
Episode 19: Aging With Dignity: Paul Malley
Something is terribly wrong: The majority of Americans want to die at home surrounded by family and friends, but most end up dying in the hospital or nursing home, cared for by strangers. Half of Americans die in pain that could have been treated. Sick people have come to fear losing their dignity or burdening their families more than they fear death. And this is all happening in a country that is meant to prize the rights of individuals and champion respect for personal wishes. What can be done?
Paul Malley is President of Aging with Dignity, a national non-profit organization based in Tallahassee, Florida. More than eight million Americans have used Aging with Dignity’s “Five Wishes” document to plan in advance of a serious illness. Today “Five Wishes” is distributed by 10,000 organizations – including physicians, attorneys, hospitals, hospices, employers, and places of worship. Paul Malley and the work of Aging with Dignity have been featured in national media including the CBS, NBC, and ABC evening news, CNN, MSNBC, NBC Today Show, Good Morning America, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times,Newsweek, Time and Consumer Reports.
The Five Wishes document helps you express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself. It is unique among all other living will and health agent forms because it looks to all of a person's needs: medical, personal, emotional and spiritual. Five Wishes also encourages discussing your wishes with your family and physician.
Five Wishes lets your family and doctors know:
- Which person you want to make health care decisions for you when you can't make them.
- . The kind of medical treatment you want or don't want.
- How comfortable you want to be.
- How you want people to treat you.
- What you want your loved ones to know.
Episode 18: A Native American Prophecy – “Hollow Bones” by Dr. Stephen Paul
Stephen Paul earned a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Missouri and then taught, researched, counseled, and consulted at the University of Utah. Stephen and artist Gary Collins collaborated to publish 3 Vision books: Illuminations: Visions for Change, Growth, and Self-Acceptance; Inneractions: Visions to Bring Your Inner and Outer Worlds into Harmony; and In Love: Visions for Growth and Harmony in Relationships. He currently writes and speaks about a process for releasing attachments and how to ride the inevitable waves of change by living more simply, harmoniously, and respectfully--more in line with Spirit.
On that note, his new book is Hollow Bones, a novel that springs from an actual event: on November 23, 1993, a Native American prophecy was fulfilled when a delegation representing the North American indigenous peoples addressed a gathering at the United Nations. The Native American Elders delivered the prophecy of their spiritual leaders, warning that a long-predicted time of purification was already under way. The prophecy said that unless we return to living simply and harmoniously there will be climate change, poverty and war. The book takes place in the not-too-distant future and tells the story of Mathew, Hope and Lily, who discover they have returned to fulfill the prophecy. Dr. Paul speaks eloquently of the urgent need for simplicity and spirit in our lives.more.
Episode 17: The Bitch, The Crone and The Harlot with Susan Schachterle
Many are the paths of life. Many are the challenges, and along the way we make choices about how we can be happy, esteemed by others and get what we want. Each path and each choice has rewards and costs. As we get into the Third age we begin to understand so much more about life that the accumulated costs begin to haunt and hinder us. Our author today, Susan Schachterle is Director of the Ahimsa Group. The word "Ahimsa" denotes an attitude, a way of life that brings with it the intention to leave a situation in a better state than before. The individual who moves through life in a state of Ahimsa has developed an awareness and clarity that facilitate the effective combination of power, correct action, and compassion. She has spent over two decades assisting individuals and organizations find and implement their inherent power, wisdom and joy. She has given her book about women’s paths through life a title that may scare you or put you off. It’s called The Bitch, the Crone and the Harlot. It’s full of great wisdom about how the choices women made earlier in their lives need to be remade in the Third Age.
Susan says, “I wanted to use these words differently – there are gifts inherent in each word. Bitch equals power and the possibility a woman can make things happen, create change. An archetypal Bitch can make it happen without a self-serving agenda. A garden variety bitch doesn’t use her gifts well.” In her book, a Crone uses her wisdom and insight and a Harlot her passion and awareness. Filled with fascinating stories, this is a must-read book and must-hear interview for women (and men as well).more.
Episode 16: America’s Dream Coach, Marcia Wieder
Do you want an ordinary life? Do you just want to be comfortable and kind of numb where one day feels like the next? Or do you want to find something that gets your juices going and makes you feel that your life is special and that you matter? It all starts with finding and living your dreams. Often people in the Third Age feel it’s too late to dream or they can’t afford their dreams. Rather, it’s the time to find new dreams and live them to the fullest. Our guest today, Marcia Weider, American’s Dream Coach, is going to tell us how to find our dream and bring them into fruition. Don’t dream of missing this show.
What is the difference between a dream, a goal and a fantasy? What is the process of identifying and fulfilling a dream? How does this differ from positive thinking? Marcia Wieder is CEO and Founder of Dream University® and is leading a Dream Movement. With over twenty years coaching, training and speaking experience, her inspiring message, style and wit has touched audiences from 50-5000 at companies such as AT&T, The Gap and American Express. She has spoken internationally, been on Oprah, written several books and even met with three former presidents. Additional questions we discuss are:
- How can I rekindle passion when I feel drained and empty?
- How do I allow myself to put my passions and dreams first, and not be sidetracked by everything and everyone else?
- How do I break through limiting beliefs about time & money??? Where do I start and how do I make a habit of my new beliefs?
- How do I get out of my own way -- that critical voice -- to make the visions and dreams come true?
Episode 15: Asking For Help in Times of Need with Nora Klaver
Most of us are perfectly willing to offer our help and advice to friends and loved ones -- but few of us are willing to ask for it. Why is that? Is it just that we think we’ll be seen as weak or unworthy? Or, that we’re pitiful because we can’t do it all ourselves? Yet endless studies have documented we all need the medical and psychological benefits of receiving help from others. Deep relationships are built on people helping each other. Our guest today, Nora Klaver, author of Mayday! Asking for Help in Times of Need, will help us fill the gap between what we know and what we do. Nora Klaver is a Master Life Coach and works with people to reveal the answers – that they already know – to the tough questions in life.
What is it that makes it so difficult for us to ask for what we need? Why is it especially difficult for Americans? Why should we ask? What’s in it for us if we take the risk? Nora Klaver answers these questions and more. She tells her own story of how she learned to ask for help and how it changed her life, and she outlines the key emotional steps involved in the process: 1) Having self-compassion; 2) Having faith that things will work out and we’ll get the help we need; and, 3) Feeling grateful.more.
Episode 14: Living With Passion in the Third Age: Medicine, Opera and Art
We all have had the experience of passion. Being passionate about something makes you feel alive, full of energy and emotion and you can’t wait for the day to start. Passion is vital to the Third Age because it keeps us feeling fully alive. And yet, many people have trouble discovering what their passion is. On our show today, we have three people who have discovered their passion. Each one is different and each took a different route to get there, but all three share the energy and excitement that can fill this time of life. Listen to their stories and be encouraged to find your passion in life.
Jim Kwako M.D. is a family physician, but with special interests and expertise in alternative-holistic medicine. He is a past Trustee of the American Holistic Medical Association and past medical director of Cottage Hospital, Meadowlark Retreat Center and the Shealy Pain and Health Rehab Center.
Gene Tyburn was a trained actor for 25 years, had a fortuitous career change to becoming a certified arborist (tree surgeon). Finally, he heard his true calling and found his passion in opera. Gene’s operas have been performed in various venues around the country.
Betsy Gallery's adventurous life took her to West Africa as a Peace Corps teacher in the 60's, to Spain when she married a Spaniard, and to Costa Rica where she ran an eco-tourism lodge in the rainforest. Along the way she accrued two Masters Degrees, two wonderful bicultural children and a love of making art in the form of mosaics and gardening. After a fourth career as a Marriage and Family Therapist, she retired to devote herself to making mosaics full-time and gardening part-time.more.
Episode 13: Alzheimer’s, How To Diagnose It and What To Do About It with Dr. Loretta Redd
Someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease every 72 seconds. How scary is the thought of getting this disease to you? What is Alzheimer’s? What causes it? What can be done to prevent it? Can it be treated, and how? By the age 85, 50% of Americans will develop Alzheimer’s. The emotional and financial costs are astronomical – today it averages $200,000 per year to care for an Alzheimer’s patient. Our guest today, Dr. Loretta Redd, Executive Director of the Alzheimer's Association, California Central Coast Chapter, helps us face our fears and answer our questions about this dread disease. Dr. Redd describes for us the terms “dementia,” “senility” and “Alzheimer’s,” and draws the distinctions between them. In diagnosing Alzheimer’s she says, “Look for loss of words and loss of orientation – it’s one thing to forget where your keys are but another to forget what they are for.” She talks about the ways to prevent or stave off Alzheimer’s and about the treatments and drugs that have proven of use in combating it. She tells us what hope is on the horizon and where to go for assistance.more.
Episode 12: Menopause with Science and Soul with Dr. Judith Boice
Menopause. What images does it bring to mind? Hot flashes, periods of anger or depression, loss of fertility, a change of life? Few woman look forward to it and many fear it. For many others they endure it but it is much worse that it needs to be. Did you know that in some cultures woman don't have menopausal symptoms? Why is that? What can be done to make this time important, spiritually fulfilling and as mild as possible?
Our guest today, Dr. Judith Boice, author of Menopause with Science and Soul: A Guidebook for Navigating the Journey, will answer our questions and guide us to a safe passage. Dr. Boice is a naturopathic physician, acupuncturist, author and international teacher, and she has a special passion for working with wellness and women's health. She conducts trainings and public lectures on women's health, menopause, and osteoporosis. She's also the author of several books, including Menopause with Science and Soul: A Guide For Navigating the Journey. She describes menopause as a "journey" and shares with us how she came to that understanding. Her book includes interviews with women from several different spiritual traditions, and describes women's experience of menopause in other cultures. (In many cultures, women have no menopausal symptoms, while about 80% of women in our culture have hot flashes.); Dr. Boice says this is because of their similar spiritual traditions - these cultures honor each part of the life cycle: puberty, adolescence, menopause and becoming an elder. She gives examples of how you can celebrate each of these times in your own life.more.
Episode 11: Surviving Male Menopause with Jed Diamond
Has your wife been getting on your nerves lately & and you don't really know why?
When you ask your husband to clean the yard and he suddenly throws a fit totally inappropriate to your request, is it possible he's experiencing something other than laziness or irritability? Could he be going through something called male menopause? Or is "male menopause" just an excuse some men use to explain their irritability?
We'll get the answers to these and other unanswered questions about men from our guest, Jed Diamond. Mr. Diamond has been a licensed psychotherapist for nearly 40 years and is the author of seven books including The Irritable Male Syndrome and his international bestseller, Male Menopause, that has thus far been translated into more than 16 languages - proving that male menopause is not just an American excuse for not cleaning the yard. Mr. Diamond describes the symptoms of male menopause such as irritability, lack of energy, heightened stress levels and changes in sexuality. He explains why the condition is not just due to a loss of testosterone but a state akin to puberty, when new hormones come on line and change everything. Is there anything you can do about it? Yes, says Jed Diamond, the condition is totally treatable. Listen to this podcast and you'll find out what to do about that "crazy" man of yours.more.
Episode 10: Dr. Rita Benasutti: Maintaining Romance in Relationships After 60
We’ve got a really hot show for you today. We’re going to talk about maintaining romance in your relationship after 60. You say, how can romance over 60 be really hot? Well our guest, Dr. Rita Benasutti, a marital and sex therapist in Boca Raton, Florida, has appeared on TV and radio, been published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, and has been quoted in Cosmopolitan Magazine, The New York Times, and Women's Health Magazine among others. Dr. Benasutti has some definite ideas about what you can do to keep the fire of love burning in the Third Age. How is Third Age romance different from romance earlier in life? Let’s say a husband and wife are both 70 years old. She’s through with sex, he’s not. He’s ready to leave. What can they do? Or, a couple is 60. They both still work so their time and energy for sexuality is limited. How can they save their romance? Dr. Benasutti takes us through her 8 Levels of Intimacy – Affection, Social Togetherness, Physical Activity, Aesthetics, Intellectuality, Emotionality, Sexuality and Spirituality. She describes how feelings of hurt, misunderstanding and love and be resolved through intimacy. Listen to this show and learn the secrets of pillow talk and enduring romance.more.
Episode 9: Fred Brock: Retire on Less Than You Think
Are you wondering how much money you will need to retire? How important downsizing your lifestyle will be? How the slump in the house marking affects your retirement plans? Or, how to choose a community where you can take it easy and enjoy life?
Our guest today will tell you some things that will make you feel better about the years to come and may even change your life. Only a few years ago, the question on many Americans' minds wasn't 'how will I retire' but 'when.' Now, with 401(k)s and IRAs at a fraction of their previous value and health-care costs soaring, it's time for a definitive guide book that walks you through the fundamentals of retirement. For more than a decade Fred Brock was a business editor and columnist at the New York Times. With his biweekly 'Seniority' column, he has earned a reputation for providing frank and pragmatic advice on the changing landscape of retirement. He’s the author of Retire on Less Than You Think: The New York Times Guide to Planning Your Financial Future AND Live Well on Less Than You Think: The New York Times Guide to Achieving Your Financial Freedom.
Mr. Brock and tells you how you will fare in retirement with a few adjustments in lifestyle.& Do you need 100% of your current income? 80%? You may just have enough to retire right now. This podcast will lift your spirits.more.
Episode 8: Women’s Fears of Aging with Donna Henes
What do you think are women's greatest fears about being middle aged? Why is the midlife transition so much more difficult for women than men? Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman,& award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, is the author of four& books, including the recently published "The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife.
Millions of women are now entering or in the midst of midlife. With unprecedented freedom, education, longevity, and wealth, they hold positions of unheard of responsibility and stature. No longer Maidens, nor Mothers, and not yet old Crones, the question arises: Where do these dynamic, accomplished middle-aged women fit into the traditional description of the three stages of womanhood?
In The Queen of My Self, Donna Henes proposes a completely original paradigm -- that of the midlife Queen, a woman in her prime who has achieved wisdom, mastery, and self-esteem -- that reflects more accurately the realities and needs of women today. Learn how to start a Sacred Circle where ancient rituals around the cycles of the seasons resonate with the seasons of your life. Henes draws on history, mythology, and literature, her own life experience, as well as stories from women in many different societies, situations and stations to provide upbeat, practical, and ceremonial inspiration for all women who want to enjoy the fruits of an influential, passionate, and powerful maturity.