Episode 45 - Ecstatic Marriage of Sexuality and Spirit with Rev. Charmaine

Transcript

[Music Playing]

Announcer: This is part one of a two part program.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the “Expanded Love Making” show. I am your host Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com. And I teach you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever dreamed possible.

Today on the show we are going to learn about the ecstatic marriage of sexuality and spirit. So many times we tend to think of them as separate parts of our being. This concept of separation is not universally agreed upon. Here today our guest is going to give us a very different perspective.

Welcome to part one of our interview with Charmaine in this two part show.

Charmaine: So for me prayer has always been about actually acknowledging the blessings of my own body.

Regardless to what you are doing it is not about genetalia. It is about the way I am sharing myself with the rest of the world. And in that you tend to see people in a more balanced unified way when you connect through your sexual vibrations.

We are all connected and everyone can resonate with each other. We just have to know that it is there an believe that because it really is there and then you become more effective. I just happen to have that kind of gift.

I’m a Universalist. I love making love to everybody.

There is always one partner that is seeking the more spiritual aspect of sex and then another is maybe more profane in it, which is actually a nice balance.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well let’s meet her. Welcome Charmaine.

Charmaine: Thank you. Thank you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Reverend Charmaine was her name by The New Seminary a school of interface theology in New York City. She is reggae master, certified hypnotherapist, trained aroma therapist, and trained Tantric energy specialist. She has appeared on major media, led and co led workshops in the tri state New York area since 1992 and has susilitated personal and empowerment through workshops and one-on-one sessions.

I think our listeners will appreciate hearing her perspective on how sex and spirit can and do merge. And Charmaine speaks so beautifully. Even I am looking forward to hearing her talk. Get enlightened myself.

In this show we will find out lots of different things in relation to; for example, what Charmaine has done to get herself to this place and what imparticular we can all do to get more inline in our own sex spirit.

So let’s get started. Charmaine you’re an interface…I know you are a lot of things. You’re a priestess and a goddess.

Charmaine: Yes

Dr. Patti Taylor: But you are also a minister?

Charmaine: Interfaith minister. My ministry is in Tontra.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, okay. Great!

Charmaine: I work to help people to unify in their body, mind, and spirit, what I call body spirit, the actual sensation of feeling holy and sensual and alive while even praying. Prayer is very erotic and when we understand that when we are praying we are actually shifting energy in our bodies to manifest our divine birthright of prosperity on earth and that the most powerful part of that is the way that we relate to our spiritual lives and whatever our god goddess consciousness is.

For me prayer has always been about actually acknowledging the blessings of my own body. Not so much in the old programming where you get more victim consciousness where you say, “Oh please help! Please! Please! Please!” It is more acknowledging the worthiness, the honor of the holy body to live a prosperous seductive joyful life on earth.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! Well that sounds like a really different paradigm. Could you give me an example of that?

Charmaine: A sexy example is masturbation meditation. I teach people every morning- like for me masturbation incorporates touching myself and feeling good, but also as a prayer of honoring my body. And I consider that a spiritual exercise as well. Because spirit is thought, so the way I think about my self and the way that I share myself with the world is erotic energy regardless of what you are doing. And it is about the way I am sharing myself with the rest of the world.

In that you tend to see people more in a more balanced unified way when you connect through your sexual vibration.

So most mornings I will have what I call my masturbation meditation. I focus on my body and the energy centers. I just let my whole…not just my pussy but my heart feel joyful. And I am talking to myself while I masturbate in ways that my body is beautiful. I feel sexy. My nipples are hard. A thing like that is actually like the way you pray with your body spirit.

That is uniting sex and spirit. It is like a cup of coffee in the morning. It wakes me up. Or I could use it at night time if I need to go to sleep and I am tossing and turning. You can masturbate and if it is about sleeping for me peace will lull me to sleep, but it is all in the way that my mind is incorporating my body spirit and that is thought and action. That is sex in spirit.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well this sounds a lot better than a cup of coffee to me.

How long does this take?

Charmaine: Masturbation meditation is just like anyone that is choosing to masturbate with the understanding that they are connecting and honoring their body. So if you were already in that consciousness… I mean sometimes it only takes me two minutes. Sometimes it will take twenty. It depends on my mood and what is going on.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Now you are doing this just to wake your body up. You are not doing this…Are you doing this to reach an orgasm? Or are you doing this as a prayer? Or is there any goal in mind?

Charmaine: Yeah, the goal is to always feel connected and to awaken my erotic energy or to honor my erotic energy. It is not always to orgasm. A lot of times though, especially if it is two minutes, it is about the orgasm too. It just feels very very good, especially if I am playing with my nipples and talking to by body. Your body responds. It is just as if someone came up to me and stroked my cheek or kissed my body would respond to that.
That is the kind of feelings that I have when I am touching myself.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That is so amazing and inspiring.

I am thinking of all the women that I have worked with and I … You have worked with too because this is what you are you. This is your line of work. All the women that get so frustrated when they try and masturbate and don’t feel anything, men too actually. Who want to feel more that they do. What kind of coaching or prayer advice would you give them?

Charmaine: That is interesting that you mention it that way because I work with a lot of individuals, men, women, and couple and groups. A lot of times women do tend to seek me out when they are in- what we call- in orgasm failure, or they can’t seem to reach an orgasm, or when they do it doesn’t feel that good to them. It is just localized.

One thing that I do tell a lot of women is first I do a lot of what we call Yoni heart or pussy heart connection. I will tell a woman to just begin by laying your hand over your pussy and just connect with it that way without any stimulation really, just placing your hand there acknowledging that part of your body as f it is your heart.

This has been a good exercise for men too because I just call it lingam heart, penis heart, total head heart, anything. But it is really about connecting to your genitals and kind of silencing yourself to where you can almost feel your heart beat.

This has been a really really effective exercise for men and women to incorporate allowing their bodies to experience the same joy that their pussy or their dick can feel because a lot of us don’t associate it to the heart center.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Thank you for that.

I have read a little bit about your background. It wasn’t always this way for you was it?

Charmaine: No

Dr. Patti Taylor: How long did it take for you personally to reach the state where you were able to have an ecstatic orgasmic prayer in a matter of moments?

Charmaine: It happened through out my life. As a young teenager 16, 17, 18, you know intermittently through out the years of becoming a young woman and a wife and mother, to where I would have moments of just this spiritual sexual connection and I would wonder what that is.

I remember one time. I was having sex with my boyfriend and going down on him.  And the prayer, all I could think of was, “Oh I am so happy to be able to honor him this way.” And I was like 17, feeling this way. I didn’t know what it was. I just thought that it was the most beautiful thing that I could do for him. And I wanted him to be inside of me in that way. And I know that I was praying and I was in thanksgiving about that.

So it was already kind of sneaking around in my consciousness. I just didn’t know what it was.

Then going through in a different religion and feeling just as connected to God, I started asking a lot more questions.

But I would say officially May 15 1990 is actually a big turning point in my life where I started saying, “You know what? I can no longer live this way and I need to find a way that connected me in a way that I felt excepted. “

I went through all different types of religions. They even called me a vagabond back in the day because I didn’t care where I was. I just loved to worship. I also felt the same way when it comes to sex and so I went more alternative around that time since 1990.

Then from that point, within couple of years I was talking to my boyfriend and he happened to have a book by Margo Anand and we started practicing together. I said,” Don’t you think there should be more happening in sex?” He says, “Well I think I know what you are talking about.” 

And everything happens for a reason. That was just one step here, one step there, and eventually I ended up becoming a surrogate in New York City and learned more of straightness and helping people with sexual problems and then the spirit kept calling. I ended up in seminary. And reggae changed my life. That was it. 1990 was a big big change and within two years I would say I really came into experiencing a real wholeness.

And became very gifted in helping other people, because I can feel confusion and I can feel on fire and I feel sexy. We are here. We are all connected. And everyone can resonate with each other. We just have to know that and believe because it really is there and we become more effective. I just happen to have that gift.

I am a Universalist. I mean, I love making love to everybody.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. We are just going to take a pause on that really hot juicy note and take a short break to support our sponsors.

This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am with Charmaine. You can find out more about Charmaine at her website www.sensuousmystic.com and, of course, on her episode page. So please stay with us.

[Music Playing]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We are back and we are talking to Charmaine about the marriage of sexuality and spirit, the ecstatic marriage.

We were just getting into healing and your ability to be a great healer. It seems like so many people are in need of healing. Do you think that is because they have lost that connection between sex and spirit?

Charmaine: Well I think that…I don’t know if it is really a loss but more of a domestication or a programming. Young children are not disconnected; but as we grow older and we start to be trained by our society we never really are allowed to look at our sexual selves as a spirit. Until- I would say- the last 10, 15, maybe 20 years, I would say it is more and more evident that we are connected in this way. People want that healing. They want that understanding. People are resonating with it in their strong way. In the beginning we never even had it fully to even think that it was lost. It has never even been allowed to evolve.

Dr. Patti Taylor: What would you tell a couple if they came in and the one partner said, “My partner is just too much in his body and I want him to be more spiritual.” Is there a practice that you could give someone like that person? Someone is always saying, of course, it is always their partner but is there a practice you could give them to help them bring more spirituality into their…I know we are going to cover the sacred womb healing in part two: but a different one.

Charmaine: I have a lot of couples that come for…there is always one partner that is seeking the more spiritual aspects of sex and the other is maybe more profane in it, which is actually a nice balance between couples. It is not necessarily that something is wrong but to be able to learn how to make love with a yin yang balance.

 I teach the heart salutation where two couples put their hands in a prayer position and they just look at each other in the eyes and they nod their heads to each other and they honor. One at a time says, “I honor the goddess in you.” And “I honor the god in you.”
As soon as a couple starts to just say these words it shifts the energy around.

I have had a couple coming that are two funny. He was just like, “I just want her to be more sexual and more open.” And she was like, “He comes to fast. He just wants to have sex all the time.” He wanted her to be more sexual. She said he was to sexual. To the point that they couldn’t even have satisfying sex together.

Teaching them the heart salutation, and the eyes gazing, and the salutation, really shifted the way that they were sharing their energy together and they were able to learn how to have good sex. I never had to go to the general aspect of it so much as where the consciousness and they way they weren’t actually focusing energy.

Dr. Patti Taylor: What else might you do to extend that heart salutation and the eye gazing? What would be another step beyond that? Let’s say the you were working with a partner who felt that their partner was to spiritual. What would you tell them to get the other partner more in her body?

Gina Bianchini: I would tell him to blind fold her and have her stand naked. And he would just walk around her body saying all kinds of sexy things to her really turned on by how beautiful her breasts look. Talk about her body. Talk about how sexy her body is. Have some nice strumming music in the background. That kind of thing is fun.

Then have feathers and just touch her in different places. Smack her but a little bit. Squeeze her breasts a little, things like that. Then a woman just snaps back into her body. She is not looking outside of herself.

You can do it with your man too. Anyone can do the exercise. That is a great way to get somebody into their body and to honor them too.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That sounds exciting.

Gina Bianchini: That is a great thing to do, joyful too.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right.

Do you think it is a good idea for people to do the masturbation prayer to one another as a way…? Do you advocate that for your couples that you work with?

Charmaine: Yes

Dr. Patti Taylor: Just as a way to build up the fires inside of them?

Charmaine: I have people- When I teach the masturbation exercise I teach it as a self on self.  But they do it for each other.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! That is a great idea.

Charmaine: They thought of it on their own.  They told me.  I was like, “Oh my goodness, that is a great idea.”

One man told me he would masturbate his wife, his girlfriend. They would do that. Then she would think of the colors and move the energy throughout her whole body until she had and orgasm. Then she would do it for him. That is a great way. It is another way for people to focus on each other and honor each other through sex and spirit.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So what happens when…For those people who might be really new; might want to have an idea of what to expect when the sex and spirit starts to merge higher and higher. Could you maybe give them an idea of what it might feel like that is different than quote unquote “regular” sex?

Charmaine: I would say that when the body really starts to respond the same arousal that you feel in your genitals, the wetness in your pussy, you also feel the heartbeat even more. That, actually, is what is causing us to want to share more of our body energy. You are not just having sex with someone and saying, “Oh I just hope he comes soon.”

 You are actually feeling penetrated in your pussy. You are feeling it in your heart. You want to share that with the other person’s hear through kissing and eye gazing. So you start to feel more of a connection throughout your entire body spirit when sex and spirit are connected in consciousness.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay! Wow! That is really beautiful.

Charmaine: That is how we know.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah

Charmaine: You know?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah.

So if you are bored in sex is that a sign that you would need healing for some reason? Is there a link there?

Charmaine: Well I would say that there may be more of an understanding of what sexual energy is actually used for, an awaking. The energy centers can be moving very slow. A lot of the times people are only focused on a profane act when it comes to sex.

They don’t realize the gift of sexual energy, what it really is, and that it is activating everything. the money we have, the  jobs we have, the friends we have. They have that sexual energy and not understanding that that is how our sexual energy is growing. You could become bored. It acts itself out through sex.

Where now we have lack of desire, I would say just understanding more about Tontra consciousness you won’t feel as bored because now you see, “ I have chosen this person to share my body with through sex. This is a gift. It is going to be hot. I am going to feel swollen inside and sharing inside and this is really good.” My thought is am I going to have a good sexual experience. This is going to heal me and grow in every area of my life. It is going to enlarge my territory.” Once we connect that the boredom goes away.

Now it is more about, who are we going to share this with, who am I going to give it to them. So if you are feeling bored in sex it, is more about understanding the actual energy of sex and how this manifests through every area of your life.

Once that happens then you may say, “You know what? I may need assistance.

All kinds of people in all faiths work with me. That is why I am a Universalist. I understand how the spirit and sex anatomy actually works through our energy field. And people are coming for that kind of heeling. If they are now incorporating the consciousness, yet they feel the body is not responding as well they may need the assistance of a goddess.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, I think that that is so beautiful. I am going to come back to that very point.

We have to take another break, but please stay with me. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am with Charmaine. And you can find out more about Charmaine at her website www.sentuousmystic.com.

We will me right back.

[Commercial Break]

Dr. Patti Taylor: I am back with Charmaine. This is Dr. Patti Taylor.

And I love that you work with people of all faiths because sexuality and spirituality and I think people have been told all kinds of things and there is a time where doctors have to go back and update their education.

Charmaine: Yeah

Dr. Patti Taylor: But where do people update their education on sex? Right?

Charmaine: Right.

To be intimate nowadays we are finding there are so many people like us that are actually acknowledging and coming out. You know a lot of stuff back in the day had to be kept secret. So, I mean, I lost a lot of friends when I openly acknowledged that sex and spirit where one. I was thrown out of churches. Told I wasn’t allowed to speak and that is too bad.

But now I am a faith minister. I have services. We have erotic enlightenment groups. There are people out there people out there that want to nab this knowledge and feel connected to more than just working like a slave and honoring someone else’s dream. They want ti feel connected. They want to have sex and they want to have…I want to have a sacred orgy one day. To really save the planet, you know.  Make love not war.

Those things really matter. There is a reason why some of these things were said. And people are now standing up for it more and more. I am really really happy to be one of these people out here, like you are, to actually help people connect to something that is more powerful than actually long standing and the healing that we develop.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well you do seem to be very passionate and very committed.

What kinds of role do you thing women need to take on that it is still up for them?

Charmaine: I think that first it is important for a woman to come into her pussy power. There has been a lot of damage done to us. This has been back in the day when the vagina monologues came out. I gave these books to my mother. My mother was like,” What is this about?’ Look at the title. A lot of women just do not include their pussy in the things that they are doing in their lives.

Then we miss use the pussy energy. We get dressed sexy. It is not just about sexy walk. It is about the sexy walk that is coming from my pussy. If we can embrace out pussy power, I think we can come back into personal healing and personal responsibility about this energy. That will lead all of us into actually standing up for the choices that we make in our lives and are no longer allowed to be used.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So coming into pussy power- We are going to be talking in part two  about a ritual that we can do. – is it an acknowledgement that we are strong, that we deserve pleasure, that we deserve to be orgasmic, and feel beautiful? Is that part of it?

Charmaine: That is part of it. That is, again, speaking to your self and speaking to your body; but actually learning: how to please yourself; what your body likes through the way that you touch yourself; honoring it by allowing someone to take the time to please you; honoring your power in your pussy with the way you dress; all of it.

My mood…I am goddess. I am sensual. I walk into a space and people feel sensual around me. That has to do with the fact that I have healed my pussy and the way that I have allowed others to take advantage of me in that. I have learned that I am choosing how I share this energy through the power that my pussy possesses.

That is in the way I take care of my pussy, the way I take care of my body. I am talking, really acknowledging that the pussy exists and that it houses energy. There is not reason that we know how powerful that something is that people are trying to take away your knowledge of it.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I guess you are right about that.

How about men? What role do men need to take on?

Charmaine: I would say it would get into understanding the honor of the woman’s pussy. Understanding that their ling and their pain is also associated in brining that kind of pleasure to the woman. First, because men are always going to be receiving a gift of pleasure, so if that can be understood and acknowledged then we can bring ourselves into harmony and yin yang balance.

Regardless of whether it is heterosexual or same sex relationships, honoring the power of the pussy is very important because so many different stakes are all programming this honor. And I think that just looking from it from the stand point that, this is really a powerful source here. A lot of men, their leaning to the power of the penis, wasn’t taken away. Genocidal women and the way that we associate pussy really was taken away; how powerful it is. I think that everyone just needs to understand that this is a very important energy. Creating life or receiving life in it; there is more to it than just that. I think that everyone just needs to start to bring back the healing of how powerful, and wonderful, and healing the womb is.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That is really beautiful.

I think on that note we are going to close part one of this show. So that does bring us to the end of this show. Please come back we are gong to have a part two of this show.

Thank you all for listening.

You can visit Charmaine at her website sensuousmystic.com. You can also go to her website and email questions to her and set up phone sessions for Tantric life coaching, central life coaching, and goddess tarrot readings with Charmaine. She is very versatile and she has also written some things on her website. It is a really fun website to go visit.

Please email me, Patti, at [email protected] .

And for texts and transcripts of this show and other shows on the Personal Life Media network please visit our website at personallifemedia.com.

And if you haven’t already please visit me at expandedlovemaking.com where you can join my mailing list and find more about my products, services, and events.

This is your host Dr. Patti Taylor. That is all for now. I remain yours in ever expanding love making.

I will see you next week.

Announcer: This concludes part one. The interview will be continued in the next episode of this show.