Episode 25 - Love Play – A Path of Presence and Transcendence with Bernie Prior, Master Teacher of Pure Tantra

Love Play – A Path of Presence and Transcendence: Dr. Patti Talks to Bernie Prior, Master Teacher of Pure Tantra

Announcer: This program is intended for mature audiences only.

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Dr. Patti Taylor: In this amazing show, find out how you can become the kind of man that women love to go deep with. Why men will realize their full being in expressing devotion to a woman and how women can be realized in connecting fully with their own true source.

Welcome to the expanded love making show. I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of ExpandedLovemaking.com and I teach people how to give and receive way more pleasure than they ever dreamed possible. Today on the show we are talking about love play as a path of presence and transcendence.

So often we think lovemaking information is about techniques to open our hearts bodies and minds. What if this knowledge included the dance between men and women and how deep and how divine each of us could go? We are so lucky to have as our special guest Bernie Prior, here on tour from New Zealand, to talk about this fascinating aspect of lovemaking. Welcome, Bernie

Bernie Prior: Hi, Patti.

Patti: Hi. It’s so wonderful to have you with us. Going through a series of ever deepening realizations from the age of 19, Bernie Prior has opened up into the pure nature of himself and humanity’s pure consciousness. He’s been inspired to share his realizations and has given talks globally to those who seek peace, freedom love and truth I’m so glad you could be with us here today, Bernie

Bernie: I’m really looking forward to talk to you, Patti.

Patti: Me, too. I think our listeners are going to really enjoy finding out more about how to use the dynamic polarity and interplay between men and women to achieve divine states during love play and lovemaking

So today we are going to find out your unique insight into how we can view ourselves and our partners through your system. Especially, we want to find out how we can apply what you say to our lovemaking. So let’s get started. How would you define what it is that you teach?

Bernie: What I teach is, actually what we all love is truth or the absolute. It’s the source from which we all come. So no matter what the attraction to whatever it is, I say that attraction truly is the source because it’s only the source that can fulfill us. It’s only that great love from the place from which we come that can fulfill us. And that’s the basic attraction of the masculine to the feminine. Because without the masculine and feminine there would be no sense perception. We’re kind of guardians and the root of the perception of sense awareness and that play in the senses. So the deep attraction to the masculine and the feminine is because it’s the root of our way home to the source where our delight and our love and our pure pleasure and peace reside.

Patti: Okay, so you’re saying the masculine and feminine, and actually the attraction that we feel for the opposite sex, is actually a path to enlightenment, basically.

Bernie: Yes. I wouldn’t even describe it as a path. I’m saying it’s our actual nature. We believe it’s a path because we’ve covered it over with so much conditionality that the attraction has become something for our egoic needs rather than something that is absolutely pure and direct. So for me it’s hidden, the door to this great love is hidden by the belief that it’s a path, but at the same time, because we’ve got caught up in the drama of what seems to be the linear play of love, we seem to be having to penetrate the conditioning to get to this type of love.

Patti: Your philosophy then is a type of tantra, is that correct

Bernie: It is tantra. I call it pure tantra in that it’s the complete embodiment of what we are from the deepest place in everything- in our sexuality, in the way we conduct our life. Everything is very sensuous, everything is directly connected with the full sense of our being and that connects us with this deep ocean of love that we are.

Patti: So I love what you’re saying because tantra has many paths and some of them are to say, “Do this, do that and someday you’re going to get there.” And what I’m hearing you say is that we’re already there and that there is this profound attraction that exists between men and women already, but it’s papered over, covered over with this conditionality. Can you explain what that means?

Bernie: Simply what it means is that we have conditioned our minds and our response to life from the belief that we’re all linear egoic beings, whereas that’s something that we’ve added to ourselves over thousands of years. So we consistently look through our past interpretations and our future hopes and dreams, yet never really knowing and understanding that each individual man and woman is already themselves and the self, the pure self, is manifested as masculine and feminine.

And the attraction is, of course, when any of us experience love directly through that attraction, in the loving there is neither masculine or feminine, there’s only the love, and that’s the self.

Patti: I really appreciate your saying that . When I was working with what you had to say before your interview I was almost kind of smiling to myself because it’s almost politically going out on a limb today in terms of political correctness to talk about masculine and feminine. It seems that everyone wants to be blended these days: “Well you’re a little bit masculine, a little bit feminine. It depends on what level you’re at.”

And I think part of what’s unique about you is that you actually do talk about the man as being the pure man the woman being the pure woman and cut away all that stuff. I haven’t heard that in a long time- that a woman is just a pure woman. The talk on the street for so many people is you’re a little of this and a little of that. Would you describe for us what you see as a man and a woman since so much of your work is based on this attraction between men and women?

Bernie: Maybe I’m a blessed man in that, in my direct realization of myself and of my attraction to the feminine, I’ve realized her in my body. I know that the woman I see on the street, the feminine I see as the universe is my innermost feminine, and the wonder is that she’s manifest as the woman I’m attracted to, as the woman life put me toward.

So here she is, this great love within my psyche is here manifested and that’s the draw to unify that depth of love that is within me. I say she’s sitting, as it were, in the beloved arms of my own heart. Here she is in the physical manifestation for me to hold in the senses in my pure sensuality. And I know her to be the great love that I seek. She is, as it were a god, manifested as a goddess. I’ve no need to go sit in the Himalayas to go find that- here she is- here.

It’s powerful isn’t it?

Patti: That’s amazingly touching. So let’s just stay with you- you’re a great role model- and what it is to be a man. You’re a great example of that. What is it like? So you have this inner feminine. What is that like and what would it show up as on the outside?

Bernie: Speaking in my own experience I call her “she” I see “she” everywhere. I see her in the earth, in the stars. In terms of woman in everyday life, I see her in every woman no matter what the age, what she looks like. I see her shining through no matter how she behaves, because I’ve united her in my body and in my psyche and this is actually the draw- the unification of the masculine within and the unification of the feminine within. Women are dying, calling to meet a man of truth and reality who can truly see who she is beyond all his misconceptions and her own darkness. So I see her on the street, I see where she is and it doesn’t mean I have to chase her anymore because she’s inside of me. At the same time, life puts us together with a man or a woman to go wholeheartedly into that and make it our way of life in a manifest way.

Patti: I have goose bumps going down my whole body, because I know if a man looked at me that way I would feel it and I would shiver right there on the spot. I know that I would feel totally seen. And I’m guessing as you’re teaching that to people and they’re learning to access their own ability to see that way, that women would feel that.

Bernie: It’s because also what’s happening here in this conversation, we’re making that direct connection with the innermost feminine and the innermost masculine within our own being, and it doesn’t have any distance in it. So it is eternal and that’s our union as the one masculine and feminine. Even though, Patti, I’ve never met you, I’ve met you inside. We’re already meeting. We’re in that meeting.

Patti: I have to say that is so romantic. You’ve probably heard that before, right?

Bernie: That’s the rose of love. And we’re endeavoring to get that to grow on planett Earth.

P: Oh, wow. So I’m swept away, I admit, I admit. So let’s talk a little about the women here for a minute because you’re clearly modeling for men everywhere what’s going to work for the women. You want to just totally open their hearts in one second.

Before I do that I want to say, this is pure tantra because you are unifying the male and female within you, which is absolutely pure tantra. So I do want to acknowledge that. And then that your ability when you are unified clearly just so empowers you as a man

So let’s find out what would it be like for the woman who has unified with her inner man.

Bernie: I’d just like to make a point here. In the experience of man, he’s no longer the “me” man, he’s no longer a man of time. He, in that moment, is the authentic male, the lord of the universe. That’s what he is

Patti : The lord of the universe? If you thought you were hot before you have got every man listening. The emporer of the universe.

Bernie: It’s because he’s selfless. It’s not for himself to get something like most relationships are to get something, to keep everything moving, to keep the ego fulfilled, and the ego is a monster that keeps devouring and keeps needing more energy. Whereas the connectedness that I’m speaking about is the end of that monster. It’s the true beginning of what love eternally is, where there’s nothing to feed that’s not eternal because it’s that eternal love that’s feeding this life.

Patti: It’s true in a sense that the ego gets in the way , is what you’re saying, right?

Bernie: I’m talking about the transformation of the ego and of sexuality into love, into pure love.

Patti: Right, and when the ego goes away there’s more room for the love to go through.

Bernie: It’s not that there’s more room, it’s that it’s the truth

Patti: Oh, it’s the truth.

Bernie: That when there’s no ego , then all there’s going to be is this amazing love that we all intuit in the deep. What the woman would then experience, the man is authentically living from that place in the moment so we’re not talking about anything linear. It has to be in the moment. So when he’s living in that place, she cannot fail but to open in her deepest place because there’s a recognition of the frequency of his being that the universal summoning in the presence of the divine masculine just burst open. And we’re all living in that right now. In a very ordinary but amazing way when a woman meets the kind of man that’s living in that place, she’s blown open.

Patti: So a man is in this great devotion because he’s connected to his inner woman. A woman, she’s connected to her inner male, I’m guessing. What does that look like? She’s fiery? She’s outward pouring? She’s blown open? I’m trying to visualize.

Bernie: She’s a very deep woman. She’s a very still and yet she undulates. She’s just full of the sparkle that every man loves to see in a woman, and yet he also knows the depth of her uncharted waters. Like the spookiness that a woman can really kill a man in her presence, he’s going to have to be so clear because she’s going to burn away his ego.

Patti: So she’s at the same time deep, and yet she’s source- she’s like the headwaters of the Himalayas- she’s outpouring. Is that a good image?

Bernie: Yes, she is source. She’s the great black goddess that is the world of potentiality, that if anything unreal gets in there it just dissolves, and yet she’s the expression of this light of love. There’s this beautiful interplay in such a woman where she’s beginning to see what she truly loves is truth, not the man, but she loves the truth.

The man, I say, comes from truth and when he’s living truth she loves truth through the man. And that’s an incredible union. What I’m saying again, if you recall the beginning of our conversation, is that what we all actually love is the truth- the source of all love. And woman, in my experience, loves the truth, the source, more than any man because I believe he got very caught up in life for his ego, for him, and he’s coming out of that for sure because men are wanting to get deeper in themselves. But basically her great love is for truth.

Patti: I think that’s very interesting, because wouldn’t a lot of people take exception to that? I mean that’s a rather radical interpretation of relationship I tend to feel that way anyway, but I always thought I was weird.

Bernie: Yeah. Let’s put this in a very simple way, then. You as a woman, surely you want honesty from a man, yeah?

Patti: Yes, totally.

Bernie: Because honesty reveals what love truly is. That’s what honesty does. That honesty is a door to clean loving. Because only an honest man and an honest woman, honest to their hearts and honest to the moment, can open up into such a beautiful, pristine, deep love.

Patti: So I see what you’re saying Translation here for me, the woman is going for the turn-on, the joy, the passion and fun, and she’s going to go for the man who can provide that for her the greatest, and in the moment. And when all of that is happening, she’s going to be showering that on the man that she’s with. While she’s connecting in with all of that source and truth and love and all of that stuff that’s happening in the moment, and the man that’s there accessing that there with her in her dance is helping her and himself both go into that transcendent state. Is that sort of the picture we’re getting here?

Bernie: To be honest with you, not quite.

Patti: Okay, good. Well set me straight.

Bernie: It is, but it isn’t. What I’m speaking of, is that only the love of truth that’s complete honesty will reveal what we are as that power of love and only from that place does the joy, does the fun, does the full dance of that love between a man and a woman in this universe take place.

Patti: I got it, I got it.

Bernie: While we’re looking for fun, while we’re looking for good lovemaking, we won’t find it, because we’ll be looking through the need of that, through our conditionality.

Patti: So the truth is just this moment…what is the truth again? It’s the instant recognition of source?

Bernie: That’s right. Any woman knows as she begins to clearly see that what she is calling for a man, is for him to be deeply authentic, deeply himself, deeply original, and he also have to have this great love of what is beyond this because everything that is possible, totally and absolutely real, only comes from that doorway, only comes from that place.

Truth is a man and woman getting honest about this and not using mind, not using personal ego to get what they want. This is the end of what you want. This is why a lot of men and women come to a place where their relationship can’t go any further because, I’m saying, they’re not looking deep enough.

Patti: Right, their minds have gotten it all balled up and they’ve gotten…

Bernie: Right. Because they’re looking for something for the “me”, when there’s far more than something for the “me”. This is about transcending the earthly to eternal love.

Patti: Okay, we’re going to go into lovemaking in a moment, but before we do I have a question for you. This sounds like a very exalted state, to be living in the moment, in truth, in presence, in honesty, in source. Is this something you have to…I’m thinking of our listeners for whom this may be a new concept…is this something that they can do everyday at work, around their kids, making dinner. Do you learn how to do this all the time or is this something you sort of shift into when you’re…or at first you learn to shift into?

Bernie: For me, pure tantra is what we spoke of earlier, and this is what this is about. Wholeness is about the whole of life and it doesn’t exclude anything. It’s inclusive of everything- every action, every word, every event. All things are included in this because what we’re pointing toward here is at the root of our sensuality, at the root of our sensibility, is the consciousness that’s seeing all this as masculine or feminine. For us to be truly whole and enjoy the wholeness of what life and love really is, this must be something that is so deeply embodied that it is an ocean, a wave of love that can go to our workplace, go to the restaurant, go to the kids, pay the bills, it can do everything.

Patti: Well thank you. I love that, I love that. That’s totally inspiring. We’re going to take a short break to support our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti Taylor. I’m with Bernie Prior. We will be right back. You can learn more about Bernie Prior at his website: www.bernieprior.org.

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Patti: We’re back, and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor and I’m talking to Bernie Prior about love play as a path of presence and transcendensce. I’d like to move on to lovemaking. I’d like to find out what happens in normal sex lives and what sort of love play is truly possible when people begin to embody the kind of relating from source that you talk about

Bernie: The kind of thing that will happen, is we begin to live in the way we’ve been speaking of, and please do hear. I’m not saying this is easy, because as we all know in any kind of loving often our patterns come up, and we face our patterns, so you’re still going to face your patterns in this. But with the knowledge of what you’re actually doing, the true purpose of knowing what the attraction is about, which is about to go into the very depth of the masculine and feminine, to take each of them home to the heart as it were, and knowing that you’re going to face these patterns because these patterns are going to want to come home to this loving, they’re going to also want to be purified in the light of this love, and that’s why often in our loving things will come up because love invites them to come up to be transformed

Patti: So how would our listeners let go of some of these patterns? Do you have any suggestions that our listeners could try at home?

Bernie: First off, what I’m teaching is to clearly see that we are not the sorts that happen in our mind and we’re not the feeling that takes place in our body because they all have conditional components and conditional energy that comes up. And as we begin to purify through our loving together our minds and our bodies and our hearts then we come into open minds, that’s the masculine trait, and pure feelings of the heart, that’s the feminine trait, and then everything begins to take place a lot differently. We begin to hold each other in a pure love so we have to begin to see that when things are moving first off, are both the man and the women being honest to the moment, honest to the serving of love? Or are they holding the genders? That’s what we have to clearly see. So it takes some…I say to men and women to really get through this and to come deeper then you’ve got to make as it were a bond of love and a commitment to being truly true to the truth of our being. We can’t be true to each other, I’m saying, we have to be true to truth and that’s being true to each other.

Patti: Okay, so a man and a woman are getting together in lovemaking. The man is there to truly love and worship and honor the woman. The woman is there as source. What might happen if they’re really following their recommendations and really connected up their inner male and inner female, and vice versa, and they’re connecting. What would it look like?

Bernie: When we get our surface life clear and clean between each other, at least that’s what we’re doing, it’s kind of an ongoing thing to keep that life on the surface clean. When we come to make love to each other, there’s a pure attraction and there’s actually a higher frequency that’s actually taking place in the body and there’s an innermost recognition of the male to the feminine and of the feminine to the male. They’re recognizing something a lot deeper than just putting two bodies together. And they feel a lot deeper as it really takes place then the pull to make love. That pull to hold each other comes from such a deep, real place and the bodies begin to naturally make love. We don’t have to have some kind of technique. When we’re getting this clear, Patti, what I’m putting across, is the pure intelligence of our bodies, the pure intelligence of the masculine, the pure intelligence of the feminine take over. It’s just wonderful when this takes place. The man and the woman just disappear in this euphoria of deep loving, of silence and yet profound movement of the bodies in a very real way, and yet stillness is happening.

Patti: that sounds so phenomenal…Doesn’t stuff come up though for people? I mean the past? I mean sex is such a profound thing. Doesn’t all this stuff come up for people while they’re making love anyway? You’re looking into your lover’s eyes and as much as you want to be present, what do you do when that happens?

Bernie: Well, first off, I have to keep pointing back towards what we do individually in the way we live our life. You see, I don’t separate our lovemaking from walking down the street and buying a meal or getting something from a shop. Or going to work. I don’t separate my love, because I am my love and we have to see ourselves as that. That’s, as it were, the priority- to get to know yourself in every way and act in love and serve love in your daily life, because this tunes you in to really reach each other in another place when you actually come to make love.

So it’s this great honesty and integrity to one’s own life that actually, as it were, gets man and woman really in tune, to really connect with each other. And I’m putting a lot of this energy onto the masculine because he’s the projected half. He has to hold that space, he has to be in that stillness. He has to be in this presence. More and more he practices this in his daily life, in his work, in his career, and in the way he lives his life. He practices stillness and presence and then when he comes in front of his beloved he’s already living a life of her presence, and she deeply feels this because the masculine has the capacity to bring woman into presence. Now, as I’ve already spoken about earlier, as that happens her body becomes open, her whole essence spills out into the room. Man can take that essence into his body. It heals him and also brings him to a greater place of loving her body and loving her being, loving her

Patti: I love the way you talk about how a man’s devotion, not only like what you just . said...again I’m swept away, but you know it changes his brain. And I think we live in a society where men are so programmed in another way, so it makes total sense that there’s a lot men can do to change the way they are. Could you talk a little more about why a man would want to be devoted to a woman? What it would look like? I think we just hear so little about that.

Bernie: Why? To me that’s a very strange question. Because for me I’ve always had this great pull of attraction for the feminine. I’ve seen her for many years but as a very young man I didn’t understand what it was that I was seeing. I didn’t understand that. And in my loving of, let’s say, my first wife, I was with a woman for over fourteen years and I knew there was something much, much deeper than the way in which I was serving her in our love, and there was something out there, and what was it that was there? And it was not until a few years later that I, as it were, burst through my own, I’m going to call it my own ambiguity, my own holding on, and the willingness to venture deeper into what this loving really was. And of course, to me this is the mystery- that beyond the woman there is the great feminine calling man to come over into this place, calling him to be authentic, calling him to live as though he’s on the edge of death, that place where ego cannot stand anymore. And that brings him to the full light of his true consciousness. So she’s calling him over, “Come ,come man. Come if you dare. You will die if you come into this place but at the same time I promise you, you’ll come alive.” At least that’s what happened to me.

Patti: Well I’m practically moved to tears here. And I really wanted to dwell on that for a moment because in my work I have met so many men, the vast majority of men, actually, who are just so eager to serve a woman, and they’re looking for that permission. And in our society the conversation in the mass consensus is that’s not the general thing we hear. And I feel like your words are just putting that out into the consciousness, that the permission that you found to actually set yourself free to go into that total devotion, I found that to men that really get that permission are so ecstatic to finally have that, and so I just really appreciate that. And I think a lot of men out there are going to be deeply appreciate that they’re hearing a different tune, so to speak.

In any case, we’re going to take a short break again to support our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am with Bernie Prior. We will be right back. Please stay tuned. You can learn more about Bernie Prior at www.bernieprior.org.

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Patti: We’re back, and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor. We’re talking about lovemaking as true men and women. So I want to ask you about using lovemaking for a vehicle for transcendence. You say don’t get familiar with yourself or each other.

Bernie: What it mans is, if you see, the mind just keeps taking snapshots, imprints of everything that we do, and what it really does in the relationship is take snapshots of each other. So you actually get to think that you know each other, but all that you’re knowing is a storehouse of these snapshots- that’s just a memories and they won’t serve the love because what we’re endeavoring to do here is we’re endeavoring to stay completely and absolutely present in each and every moment, in the knowledge that love, true love, can only be experienced with no past and no future.

Patti: You give a great example- I was wondering if you could give us an example of going into that kind of divine rapture between a man and a woman?

Bernie: What do you mean by the diving rapture?

Patti: You were hugging a woman in England and just saying goodbye… but any example would do of what it’s like when a man and woman meet.

Bernie: You’re speaking of an article that I just wrote of where I explained….

Patti: Exactly. But just an example of any kind so our listeners have a grounded example of what’s possible. I remember you were saying even in a hug.

Bernie: When a man and a woman is truly free, I mean truly free in the moment, then there is a meeting of the pure masculine and the pure feminine and that meeting is deep within. We think that the bodies are the meeting place but the whole time what really is meeting is the pure frequency of the masculine and the feminine within. And it can happen that even with a complete strange woman or man, in other words somebody that you’ve not physically met before, there can be this profound innermost connection and in that innermost connection your consciousness is drawn completely in where these ecstatic states of love actually are right here and right now. That’s what can happen.

Patti: And you had a transcendent experience.

Bernie: I’ve had many in my life, but there was a particular woman that I used to work with in London and I used to set up seminars and speak to people that she use to bring along. And after one such seminar I was leaving her,- and there was no intimacy as such, we had love of our friendship but there was no intimacy as such- and I was just about to give her a hug as I was about to walk out into the middle of, I think it was somewhere in Chelsea, very busy place. We had the door open and I was about to give her a hug and suddenly I was in this place that I’m speaking of, entwined with this pure feminine energy of such beauty and joy and the bliss and the love, and when I opened my eyes and came back into the senses as it were, we were complete pinned- our foreheads, our whole bodies pinned together- and such a profound silence and at the same time immense joy. And we just looked at each other in this silence and then there was this beautiful roar of laughter that took place and actually, after that, I just walked away and she just walked away and that’s all there was to it really
Patti: That’s very pure isn’t it? So there’s nothing to do, there’s no technique. There’s a coming together and a going into stillness and rapture?

Bernie: Nothing to get from it, nothing to continue, but what the mind egoically wants to do is to have that again and have that again. And that’s what I’m speaking of in terms of the partnership not to get familiar. Because if we really want to deepen in these pure states, then if we use each other to get what we want it won’t happen. We have to clearly see that we’re serving the beloved in each other. The profound state of consciousness appearing as masculine and feminine and not to mistake each other as some woman that I met many years ago or some man that I’m currently living with. We’ve got to clearly begin to see who it is that is living as the masculine and feminine and give to that.

Patti: Well that really puts it together for me. We’re almost, just for the moment, out of time. I would like to ask you one final question.

Bernie: Yeah.

Patti: What touches you most deeply from sharing your work with others?

Bernie: Seeing how beautifully and simply man and woman can open. How the surprise in that ‘My god, this is actually possible- to live this life of love, to open up in such a profound way is possible. Why haven’t I seen it before ?” It’s so beautiful to see individually men and women open up, but in partnership? I mean I speak to people who’ve been together many years and suddenly they come along and suddenly they come to me and say, ‘Oh, my god, we’re- I’m making love like we’ve just met,” and how that builds into their life. It’s amazing really.

Patti: That is so deeply inspiring. I know I’m inspired. I’ve been deeply, deeply moved by what you’ve had to say. It’s been deeply enriching for me to go over your material- it’s absolutely changed the way I look at things. Thank you so much for coming on our show.

Bernie: Thank you, Patti, for giving me the opportunity to speak to you and speak to the listeners. I really appreciate that.

Patti: It’s such a delight. Your wisdom absolutely radiates and sparkles and shines through.

Bernie: And maybe I’ll see you in San Francisco next year?

Patti: I would love that. Well, you won my heart over, Bernie.

Bernie: And you mine, too.

Patti: I’m sure you’ll get lots of invitations after being on this show from all over America. In the meantime you can find out more about Bernie Prior at www.bernieprior.org.

Listeners, join us next week on the Expanded Lovemaking Show when we talk to Anna Thea and David Lion Heart about sacred rituals.

And that brings us to the end of our show. Thank you for listening. If you haven’t already, please do subscribe to the Expanded Lovemaking Show so you can get automatic updates as soon as our new shows come out. Please send me email to [email protected].

For text and transcripts of this show, and other shows on Personal Life Mdia network, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com

This is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor. That’s all for now. I remain yours, in ever expanding lovemaking, and I’ll see you next week.

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