WHY AM I SO ANGRY AT MY LOVER? THE POSITIVE POWER OF NAKED EMOTIONS with Reid Mihalko
Sex – Tantra and Kama Sutra
Francesca Gentille
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Episode 97 - WHY AM I SO ANGRY AT MY LOVER? THE POSITIVE POWER OF NAKED EMOTIONS with Reid Mihalko

WHY AM I SO ANGRY AT MY LOVER? THE POSITIVE POWER OF NAKED EMOTIONS with Reid Mihalko, famous for creating Cuddle Parties, nationally recognized sex & relationship expert for the media, individuals and couples. He is also a teacher of intimacy teachers, sex educators and sex positive professionals, helping them upgrade their personal & business lives. His media appearances include Montel, Pen & Teller's Bullsh*t!, NPR, as well as The National Inquirer.

In this episode, Reid gives us the context & tools for releasing & witnessing powerful emotions. Uncover why anger & rage showing up in your relationship may be a good sign.  Learn to discern the difference between the "what's happening now," and the "what has been festering for years."  Learn the steps for creating a safe sacred container for feelings in your love relationships and conscious structures for releasing them.  Expand into deliciously authentic, full expression and intimacy.

Transcript

Transcript

Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing You The Soul of Sex. I’m your host Francesca Gentille.

Francesca Gentille: And with me today is Reid Mihalko. Reid is famous – or perhaps infamous – for creating cuddle parties, which are wonderful; I’m into them, I highly recommend them. And he is a man who is nationally known as an expert in sexuality, in relationship. He works with individuals, couples and also the media. He has been on media shows, such as Montel, NPR and the National Enquirer. I really appreciate the range of that Reid, and I welcome you to our show.

Reid Mihalko: Yes, the National Enquirer was the feather in a large cap of media appearances, that I’m very proud of. And next I want it to be the World Weekly News Report or whatever the one that always has like those kookie pictures of UFO’s and dinosaurs on it at the same time; that’s what I’m shooting for next.

Francesca Gentille: That would be really wonderful. My personal favorite is being in the National Herald Tribune. So I will imagine that for you as well. I like that it goes from the NPR, National Public Radio, to the National Enquirer, the sublime and the ridiculous, you know, it’s all good. And…

Reid Mihalko: I work with everybody, so why (unintelligible) just because, you know, they are more interested in what’s going on with Jon and Kate in the moment than maybe what’s going on with public policy.

Francesca Gentille: I love your breadth and depth and the chewy rich goodness of who you are and the capacity to really embrace and find pathways for everything and anything. And our listening audience doesn’t, I don’t know if you know our listening audience, is that I spend a half an hour before the show with our guests really tuning into them, getting to know them, as the Spanish would say conos miento, that time period to really connect. And so I get to know the richness of these guests that we’re bringing to you, and I want to say Reid is amazing. And when we were talking we really felt for you, the people that are listening, that we could go into some of those more challenging places that not everybody can go to. And one of them that we were thinking of is around – those, “Emotions are dangerous, don’t go there. Danger! Danger!”, but that they’re there, they’re there, and when we actually love someone there’s an odd paradox that really intense emotions can show up even more fully. Would you like to talk a little bit about that from your experience working with couples and individuals and also coaching tantra teachers themselves?

Reid Mihalko: Yeah, it’s a very… Well thank you so much, first thank you for having me on the show. It’s a pleasure to talk to anybody. I’m a very big sex and relationship and intimacy geek, so part of the joy that I get out of my work is that this is what my life and my journey have kind of become about and tried to “make sense of it all”, quote/unquote. And as you said at the end of your little introduction, in the tantric community I end up being kind of the teachers’ teacher, not in kind of the hierarchical ego way, but more of a like I have some really interesting things as somebody who became an expert just around sex and relationships. And things that I’m seeing inside of the tantric community and specifically with tantric teachers around, you know, a lot of people in the community that go into doing this kind of sexual healing work usually came from backgrounds where, you know, they’re working on their own healing. It’s kind of the joke with, you know, psychiatrists is that they became psychiatrists just to figure out how screwed up their family was and why it was like that. And that joke, as funny or unfunny as it is, kind of I think rings true for a lot of us who work in the sex positive communities or the sexual healing communities or, you know, even people that work in the very woo-woo white worker community. And part of what I’ve been seeing, whether I’m working with professionals or, you know, just the muggles to steal the phrase from Harry Potter, you know, people that aren’t, you know, the initiate, is that this dynamic of when you start doing this work, whether it’s because you’re teaching it or because you’re just seeking it and looking to make your relationships deeper and, you know, more intimate, you start unleashing or knocking loose a lot of these stored up emotions that, you know, in my opinion – and I’m not a doctor or a psychologist – in my opinion, you know, we’re not fit to feel or to express when we were younger. And we developed some really savvy defense mechanisms and strategies and protocols to get from being 3 years old to 23 or 33 or 73, and some of those strategies involve kind of sitting on your emotions and swallowing them and not speaking up, because for whatever reason it wasn’t safe. And especially for people who have abuse histories, and I grew up in an alcoholic family that wasn’t sexually abusive but was certainly verbally abusive and, you know, by the time I started really diving into my sexuality and exploring it and then, you know, doing the more intentional tantric work, I had a lot of emotions that were kind of pent up that weren’t expressed, and sexuality and any kind of intimate connection pretty much plugs in that old machinery and flips the switch and turns it back on, and when you’re having a strong emotional response, even if it’s pleasurable, it can sometimes hit that frequency where you start vibrating and all of a sudden I’m feeling a lot of rage. And we’re not taught that it’s okay to be angry during sex or, you know, in our love relationships, that we’re allowed to flip out and express a lot of anger; a lot of us didn’t grow up in families where that was okay…

Francesca Gentille: Well I want to, I want to slow that down a little bit too Reid because there’s an intriguing paradox I think here, I find for myself, is that I need to have my emotions, you know, available to me because they’re my passion, they’re my teacher, they let me know what I’m liking and what I’m not liking and they move through me and allow me to have, you know, living the life that I’m born into, and yet they can be dangerous, you know. If in my anger I slap you or in my anger and because of my childhood that was verbally abusive, I start shaming and denigrating you, you know, then that’s going to, in a sense I become the perpetrator, even though I was originally the one that received it. So how do we do this safely?

Reid Mihalko: Well first what we do is – this is what we’re modeling right now – is you start talking about it and creating a context that when you’re in a relationship – and the way that it usually comes to me, whether you’re a teacher or, you know, a muggle, is this person’s like, “You know, I’m in this awesome relationship, never really quite had a relationship like this before, and all the sudden I’m noticing I’m just really pissed off at my partner. And it’s starting to occur to me (unintelligible) that I should be this angry over something so small”, whatever the example is. And for me the reframe of it is that you’re finally in a relationship that feels safe enough for you to start expressing your emotions and they’re just going to start seeping up through the floorboards. And that your partner puts the toilet paper in the wrong way or leaves the toothpaste cap off, and that irks you, but that feeling of, you know, momentarily being pissed off, you know, strikes the cord that’s resonating for every moment you’ve been pissed off. And now that, you know, when you’re intentionally starting to move into tantra and really like being embodied, not checking up, you know, feeling what’s going on in your body around your pleasure and your arousal, that also means that you’re turning your body on to feeling the negative stuff. So the door of, you know, the closet that is packed with all of your years of unexpressed anger, all of the sudden that doors opened a crack and all of it wants to come out at once, and this really system dynamic that, you know, if you know about it you’re like, “Oh, I’m finally in a relationship that feels safe enough that I can start to feel my rage, and I should probably tell my partner about this.”

Francesca Gentille: Right. So now a warning, now a warning. And I want to talk more about how we bring up these conversations, really continue to, in a sense, set a sacred container for our full selves to be revealed, after we come back from a break and a word from our fabulous sponsors. And I encourage you to support our sponsors because they help great shows like this keep coming to you. And we’ll be right back.

Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing You The Soul of Sex with the intriguing Reid Mihalko, media personality, teachers teacher, and we’re talking about those emotions, those emotions. Those sticky ones that we suppress for so long because they weren’t safe often in our childhood but now we are in a love relationship and they are rushing forward and the steps to keep ourselves and our partners safe and yet continue to release them; step one I just heard was letting your partner know this is happening, “Oh, I love you, and in the safety of our love I’m noticing these things are being unlocked”, and then what?

Reid Mihalko: I mean there’s a lot of different ways to approach it, and you had already mentioned that the word of creating, you know, the phrase of sacred container. And, you know, on this show it’s great ‘cause we can talk about sacredness and, you know, get a little bit more woo-woo that I would if I was talking to, you know, an audience that was there just to work on their marriages and not in a tantric kind of a way. But it’s the same thing; like you have to create some sort of agreement, some context, some boundaries around how, what’s appropriate and what works for the both of you around releasing these emotions. You don’t always have to be doing the work together. Sometimes, you know, that you guys support that the work is being done is what’s needed, and for some couples – or even friends, you know, like you can do this with your friends, it doesn’t have to be a love relationship – sometimes doing the work with each other is completely appropriate. So you first have to start having, once you start broaching the subject about the context of it – and you said it so lovely, like, “In the safety of our love, this steps coming up for me” – then it’s a conversation of how would we like to deal with it when it comes up. So you really start kind of designing the container that you thinks going to work best for you. Now if you don’t have a tantra practice, you know, I would recommend, you know, going to somebody like you or find me – and people can go to my website, which is reidaboutsex.com – or find another practitioner who can give you guys some simple ways to create a container for you guys to let your emotions come up, and it might be a certain way of communicating, you know. You have a structure, some people work really well with a structure where, you know, I share with you what’s going on for me and you say “Thank you” but you’re not allowed to give cross talk until it’s your turn to share. You know, come up with some different approaches that work well for you around communicating your emotions because a lot of us grew up in families where there was not structure, it was completely chaos. So find a structure that works well for you, and then start finding practices that work well for you to embody your emotions, to release them. And in my opinion, emotions…

Francesca Gentille: What do you mean, a practice to embody and release? And I think we’re not talking – or are we – you know, throwing dishes against the wall?

Reid Mihalko: That’s kind of expensive. And there’s a lot of clean up, like, you know, like…

Francesca Gnetille: That’s true.

Reid Mihalko: throw tennis balls against the wall, it’s much more, you know, cathartic, it’s just as cathartic, and…

Francesca Gentille: My personal favorite is ripping newspaper when I get really, really angry, just ripping newspapers into shreds. But is that the kind of thing we’re talking about, something that says I get to move it through my body?

Reid Mihalko: Yes. Like, really my opinion is that emotions just need to be felt. And the analogy that I use is it’s kind of like as you start doing this practice for yourself around emotions, it’s almost like your body’s like a wood burning stove. But you never knew that you could put wood in it and set it on fire. And so when it starts to get hot, it’s a little scary, “What’s that smell? Is that smoke? What’s going on”, because you’ve been kind of taught that fire, “Grrr, fire bad”. You know, feeling our emotions is bad because when you’re a kid it was unsafe because mommy and daddy or Uncle Bill or whomever, you know, flipped out when we would express something. So we learned to contain it….

Francesca Gentille: “Don’t talk back to me. Don’t talk back to me…

Reid Mihalko: Yeah.

Francesca Gentille: missy” or “mister”, you know. And that would be followed by the slap or the whatever. Yeah, so it wasn’t safe, but it needs to be released. It’s part of our intimacy with one another, but not necessarily against one another, so we have, you know, something ripping, shredding. Some people find it in sport. Some people find it in dance; this would be more of the kind of freeform dance, I find that when I do that I can actually dance angry or I can dance protective or I can get sad and I’m really in my own dance experience. It’s not about me out dancing to connect with you, you dishy person you or you dishy person over there; it’s about me really connecting deeply with me.

Reid Mihalko: Exactly. And I coach couples who, you know, when they kind of went in and discovered what works best for them, I got couple… Can I use swear words on your show?

Francesca Gentille: Yeah.

Reid Mihalko: Yeah, okay. So I have couples who learned what’s really good for them is when one of them wants to work on anger, they had really angry sex. Like they basically do kind of a form of sex magic where they’re calling forth their rage and they’re just fucking the shit out of each other. And…

Francesca Gentille: I just want to put a little warning sign here for that, is that please check with your partner before deciding to do this because I have, I have partners, I actually one of those people that feels that channeling rage through sex inconsensus is actually positive and sometimes I’ll even have a partner that we’re bringing this kind of raw passion together, but sometimes, you know, if they’re a strong person, I’ll be – and I’m a little person – so I’ll be beating against their chest and really it’s not hurting them, you know, there’s like a thud but it’s not a whole lot, but it helps me get through something so that I can open my heart. But I also have partners that would feel like I had abused them, and I had absolutely traumatized them if I tried to do that.

Reid Mihalko: It is this collaborative consensual exploration of figuring out what works for you. And back to the analogy of the wood burning stove, as you start to get used to the fact that you can burn hot, like you’ve got all this stored up anger, all this cut (unintelligible) from years of not being able to express anger, once you get comfortable with it you can stack that wood stove and burn it really hot in a way that’s safe for you and safe for the people around you. And what’s really interesting about that is if you’ve got, you know, 18 years of rage pent up, it doesn’t take 18 years to move through or burn through those emotions, and your body gets better at, you feel more safe as you learn how to do this, letting more anger or sadness or grief or even joy, ‘cause this works for happy emotions too, you get better at letting yourself feel it, which means you can move through stuff faster, and really what you end up trying to do is you move through that, those 18 years or however many years of pent up rage, and then what happens is when somebody pisses you off you’re like a 6 year old again where you have a little emotional tantrum but it burns clean because, you know, you’re angry for 2 minutes and then at the end of it, once you’ve expressed it – and I’m not saying you have a tantrum, but you can feel this tantrum – and at the end of it you’re like, “Okay”, and like the 6 year old you’re back playing with the people, the very kid that pissed you off in the first place. And that’s I think part of the goal of doing this kind of deep emotional work and once you have the context and learn how to create containers that work well for you and and/or work well for you and your partner, then you get to kind of do this emotional work together or support each other in getting the emotional work done some place else, that kind of trust and witnessing and journeying together through working through your emotions, in a culture where expressing emotions is taboo unless you’re on a reality show, once you start doing that together that’s where you start to really build a strong powerful intimate relationship where you guys are really witnessing each other being human. That’s amazing.

Francesca Gentille: That is amazing, and that, thank you for bringing up a vision or the goal is that we’re not saying we’re going to start crying or we’re going to start being angry or even joyful as a way to be stuck in that. We’re actually saying that emotions or energy motion, that we’re, our intention is to release the pent up emotion so that the river flows cleanly and freely and we get to show off authentic multifaceted intimate humans with one another. I love, I love, love, love the vision of that. And I want to talk more about the difference or distinction between when is my partner releasing and I want to hold space for their release, and when are they maybe going into being emotionally abusive or threatening in some way and blaming in a way that’s going to be toxic for me if I’m the one trying to hold space and that whole bartering issue. And then also if I’m the partner that’s feeling, you know, irritation or sadness or depression or despair or whatever I’m feeling, how do I discern what is the pent up part that is, you know, inappropriately in a sense being dumped on this person through me but is a sign that I need to work with it and when is it there’s really something I need to address with my partner and how to separate that out so that the relationship can move forward with its, you know, issues or differences that need to be addressed and I can release my emotions. It may be separate from one another, and we’ll address that and so much more when we come back from break and a word from our fabulous sponsors. We’ll be right back.

Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra with the fabulous and intriguing Reid Mihalko, the man who has been on both NPR and the National Enquirer and an expert on sex and relationships, and we’re talking about emotions, heart emotions, and we just before break, I put two questions out to you; one, if my partner’s the one that seems to be releasing a lot of emotions in our love relationships, I get that that’s healthy but I’m trying to discern when is it becoming toxic, either emotionally threatening or denigrating in some way or physically feels like it’s denigrating to me. And then the second question was lets say I’m the one that’s noticing I’m finally able to release and access emotions – anger, sadness, fear, whatever is there in this relationship. And yet – and I realize some of it’s from the past, but then I’m trying to discern what actually is also in the present, because he never takes out the garbage or he’s not paying his equal amount of the bills or he’s not initiating sex or whatever really feels like it’s trigger in the present as well and needs to be discussed. So pick which direction; is it the partner you want to start with who’s releasing or is it the…

Reid Mihalko: Well lets go with the partner first ‘cause I mean they’re both actually interrelated obviously. But there’s a thread through both of them that you can grab onto, which is a lot of this stuff breaks down, it actually, it fails to work these approaches, unless you have an ability to speak up for what’s going on for you. Which means that you actually need to have some self awareness, you need to be able to check in be like, “Wow, like I’m feeling abused right now”, or “I was up for holding space for my partner in this container to rage and, you know, maybe part of the practice is I witness you as you beat pillows and yell explicitives. But now it’s feeling weird to me because, you know, I just, I don’t know why but I don’t feel safe.” You need to be able to feel that you’re not feeling safe and then be able to speak up about it. If you can’t, you know…

Francesca Gentille: That’s that whole boundary thing Reid, and, you know, our culture doesn’t teach much about boundaries and limits and setting them. So help us out here.

Reid Mihalko: Yeah. I mean, well I mean unless you know what works for you, it’s kind of hard to set a policy. Unless you know where the line is it’s hard to draw the line and by default you automatically default to being kind of wishy washy. So, you know, you need – and I do this a lot with my clients and also when I take (unintelligible), you have to figure out where your, what works for you and what doesn’t work for you seems to be the best way to describe it and start setting your boundaries there. And you’re allowed to change your mind, which is the other piece that our culture doesn’t teach us ‘cause as kids we’re like, “Pick one. Stick with that”, you know, because we don’t have any prefrontal cortex when we’re kids and we have no impulse control and so we’re all over the place and our parents just want us to pick one thing. But they don’t tell us later in our 20’s when we actually have some impulse control that now you’re allowed to change you mind. So you and I, if we were in a relationship and we were working on our anger issue and we sought out a teacher whose given us – or a therapist even, it doesn’t, you know, find something that works for you – whose given us some practices and we’ve got a way of communicating our emotions, setting up the container, and then we have some practices inside of that. Unless one of us can call a time out if something’s not feeling right, then it starts to turn into this obligation, and you need to build into your relationships that you’re allowed to change your mind or at least put things on pause so that you can regroup, or else everything’s going to start to feel like pressure and that opens the whole other can of worms because now, you know, “If you really love me you wouldn’t change your mind and you’d do this with me” and then everything gets wonky. So…

Francesca Gentille: So I’m going to slow that down just a little bit because it feels really big to me, and I want to, I want to breathe in that even for myself this has been a huge issue my whole life Reid, is figuring out what I wanted and how it was changing, and then a way to express it that didn’t automatically beat the other person up because I would notice that even if somebody says “Francesca, what can I do for you?”, that I would feel frozen. I would feel like a deer in the headlights, and I would say yes because I didn’t want to give myself time to actually figure it out, and I would automatically over give and by the time I was saying, “No. No, stop. No this doesn’t feel safe”, you know, whether it was in a conversation or in bed, I was already in trauma. So I just, I want to breathe in that some of us may be like me or some of us may have partners like me that it, compassion for a journey to slow things down, and what I learned from cuddle parties is actually to say no if I’m unsure and then I can decide to say yes again later. That was brilliant by the way; I love that you designed that. And to have these conversations when we’re not triggered, that I can warn my partner, “I’m going to be saying no a little bit more often now” or “I’m going to be saying things that we need just to slow things down more often because I want to be authentic, I want to be real with you.”

Reid Mihalko: Yeah. And that’s, and that really – and thank you for that – and for me the way to sum that up is if you’re feeling triggered or taken advantage of or, you know, like, “Wow, I was helping my partner express their rage and now I feel like now it’s directed at me or it’s becoming abusive”, you need to be able to call a time out and say, “Hey, something shifted for me. It feels like this is now abusive to me.” You’re not blaming your partner, and there’s, non violent communication is a school of approaching difficult conversations non violently, but they’ve got some really great ways of wording how you take ownership of what’s going on for you so that it doesn’t end up being blaming to the other person, so that’s one place you might want to, you know, your callers and listeners might want to look to for information on some, you know, great tools for communicating when people are activated. You know, and my easy recommendation is when you guys get activated, you call that time out and you just wait until you calm down. Like, you don’t have to go through all of your growth right now in this next half hour and…

Francesca Gentille: It can feel so urgent, can’t it? You know…

Reid Mihalko: Absolutely.

Francesca Gentille: “I have to get this all out now.”

Reid Mihalko: ‘Cause the stakes are high, you know. It wasn’t safe, nobody in my family ever really spoke about their emotions. We’re finally speaking about our emotions; if we don’t get it all out now the opportunity may never occur again. But it’s not real, that’s just how it feels because you’ve been waiting your whole life for this opportunity and this kind of connecting where you guys can actually stop hiding with each other and be real with one another, and that’s what I think people are so hungry for. But once you start doing this kind of work it all comes rushing forward and it freaks you out. And that kind of I guess segways into your second question, which is, you know, how do you tell the difference when you’re working on your anger and how do you make sure that you’re being clean about it and responsible, and then how do you tell the difference, how do you make the distinction between, “This is the anger that I had at my dad, and now this is me being pissed at you for leaving the toilet seat up last night.” And I think that the answer to that is really like get clear about what your agreements are in your relationships, because if your agreement is that your partners going to put the toilet seat down and they didn’t, then yeah, that’s annoying, but if you didn’t really talk about it and make it explicit, by making it explicit you’ll probably lessen that annoyance, like in talking about it it releases a lot of the energy around it, which goes back to being able to talk about it. And then, you know, if it’s, you’re pissed at your husband or your boyfriend because they left the toilet seat up and you say, “Hey, dork head, you said you put it down, you know. Can I (unintelligible) to get better at that?” and they’re like “Yes”, and you’re still angry at them, then something else is going on, ‘cause, you know, and because we don’t work a lot on our negative emotions and expressing them, after a while you kind of get a feel for what’s normal and “What is that feeling that I’m feeling that means something else is going on?” You know, it’s the difference between – I’m at a loss for an analogy right now, but if you have…

Francesca Gentille: If you don’t mind, I can jump in a little bit too…

Reid Mihalko: Yeah.

Francesca Gentille: the difference, because I, I’ve gone both ways and since my moms death I’ve been much more intense in reliving past trauma, and the difference for me is you leave the toilet seat up or, you know, if the man were a woman, she said she would, you know, run an errand or do something and she didn’t, and it’s like, “You know, honey, I’m noticing that I’m angry that you said you’d do it and you didn’t, and I’m really wondering, you know, what might’ve happened and, you know, do we need to change those agreements or, you know, was there just something that got in the way, you know, this time or did you forget?” So there’s this sense of I’m noticing my anger and I’m capable of owning it for myself and I don’t need to smear it all over you. And me personally – and I go both ways with this – when I’m, “You know, you’re such a rude SOB and I can’t believe you’re so selfish and you said you’d do it and you never do it”, that when I’m at that level, whether it’s with my kids or my partner, anybody, I’m already releasing something that’s either past trauma of, you know, all the times that someone said they were going to do something and didn’t or the stuffing that I’ve been doing over the past 2 years of the toilet seat, you know, being left up or because I was just trying to be nice, trying to be nice, trying to be nice, and now I can’t be nice anymore. So either way, it’s bigger than what is in the moment, if I can’t breathe it in and speak it in a more measured way.

Reid Mihalko: Yeah, and these more measured ways, it’s a lot like, you know, like a muscle, like physical fitness, like the more you practice, usually the better you get at it. And then all of the sudden, you know, you not speaking up about the toilet seat because it wasn’t that big of a deal, but now 3 years into it it just really tweaks you, now you get to take ownership and you be like, “Honey, you know, there’s something I haven’t ever spoken up about that didn’t’ used to bother me, now it kind of does, and I need to tell you about it because out of our commitment to each other to be open and honest. You know, that toile thing’s starting to drive me crazy. Can we create something around it that works for both of us?” Then all of a sudden you’re taking responsibility for not speaking up sooner, which allows your partner to not, usually not get so defensive, because they’re like, “Oh, alright, well I don’t understand why you didn’t bring it up sooner, but yeah, lets totally deal with it now”, and you guys can kind of jump over the blame game and go right from reveal and then go right to taking action or co creating something.

Francesca Gentille: I love your insights. I love the way that you talk about this and the willingness that you have to go there. And if people want to go there with you Reid, if they want to get more coaching, phone coaching, find our more about your workshops, your teleseminars, you can reach Reid all over the country, how would they do that?

Reid Mihalko: They can go to reidaboutsex.com, and that’s r-e-i-d, aboutsex.com. I have a bunch of free products for all sorts of people. They can just click on the free products links and then they can look at pay products if I have teleseminars and things like that and also sign up for my newsletter, which will, you know, periodically give you alerts as to where I am in the country and what am I teaching and what I’m up to next. There’s also a link there for coaching and mentoring for whether, you know, whatever you’re looking for, take a peak at it, give it a read, and if you think there’s something I might be able to help you with then email me and lets have a conversation and see if we’re a good fit to work together. Yeah, I mean it’s kind of, I do so many different things, it’s sort of like mass marketing…

Francesca Gentille: You do. You do.

Reid Mihalko: But it’s my niche.

Francesca Gentille: Thank you so much Reid for joining us today. I’m looking at our clock here and we’re running out of time, but I just wanted to thank you.

Reid Mihalko: You’re welcome. Thank you so much for having me on the show.

Francesca Gentille: And I wanted to thank you, our listening audience, for being with us on this journey, this journey of the conscious, the healing, the sacred in sexuality and relationship. And if you want to find out more about Reid, see his shining picture, click to his website, get his services, find out about, more about me, my shining picture, my website and services and read the transcripts of this show, you can do that at www.personallifemedia.com. That’s www.personallifemedia.com, Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing You The Soul of Sex.