Episode 36 - 30 MINUTES TO ORGASMIC POWER with Philip Johncock
30 MINUTES TO ORGASMIC POWER with Philip Johncock, MA, creator of www.TantraAtHome.com, Co-author with Margo Anand of "The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook : The Path of Skydancing Tantra" and "The Book of Life : The Master Key to Inner Peace And Relationship Harmony" with Gay Hendricks
In this episode Philip brings his genius skills to what blocks men & women from having the great sex they really want. He reveals secrets from his "1 Minute to Orgasmic Power" teachings. Discover a simple way to warm up the body for intimacy. Learn ways to generate Sexual Power, Safety, and Pleasure through honoring the Divine balance of the Feminine & the Masculine.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing You The Soul of Sex. I’m your host Francesca Gentille, and with me today is Philip Johncock. Philip has two Master’s. He’s an amazing man, a genius in his own right who brings out the genius in us. He’s collaborated with best selling authors and relationship experts Gay and Katherine Hendricks and Margo Anan, co-authoring such books and CD’s and online programs as the Path of SkyDancing Tantra and Awaken Your Senses CD with Margo Anand, and The Power of Integrity, the book Already home and The Book of Life with Gay Hendricks, and Sex, Money and Spirit CD with Katherine Hendricks. He also has online courses; tantraathome.com and The Genius course. One of his geniuses is in completing projects, helping us develop legacies and I’m guessing as well helping us complete our relationships beautifully, and today we’re going to be talking about something that he’s developed which is the one minute orgasmic power information, and that’s especially for our listeners who love the soul of sacred sexuality.
Philip Johncock: If you came up to me and focused on what you really wanted in terms of orgasmic power, I could be there, be present with you and magic would happen in one minute. Now sometimes it took a minute a half or two minutes, I have to admit that it didn’t quite last just a minute. But for the most part we were able to in a minute tune into what the key thing is for each person that they need to unlock their orgasmic power.
Philip Johncock: Stretching is something that I didn’t like doing as a kid growing up and I was, you know, quite athletic. But this new practice that Tantra allowed me to do with a partner was such a wonderful way to bring flexibility into my life, and in my book The Path of SkyDancing Tantra, it has some of the stretches and then I actually teach some workshops that include additional stretching that I found particularly useful.
Philip Johncock: Independent functions called ‘ejaculation’ and called ‘orgasm’, they’re not the same thing. Now I grew up and most of my experience for much of my early adult life was that they were the same, that when I had orgasm was the same that I had ejaculation, but they’re two completely different physiological functions.
Philip Johncock: When I’m attracted, I’m admiring something or really there’s a power out there that I’m attracted to, I take that on as sort of like I can close my eyes, I can sort of eat that inside of me, digest it, take it down to my toes and realize that that’s a power that’s inside of me that’s being reflected outside of me.
Francesca Gentille: Philip, what, how, you are a genius, so how does your genius fill, fill in with this one minute orgasmic power?
Philip Johncock: Well, thank you Francesca. I appreciate you having me on your show, and I wanted to appreciate your genius around interviewing and what I’ve heard great, many great comments on what you do. So I wanted to appreciate you and appreciate my teachers and those that have gone before me, and the one minute, two orgasm happened sort of by surprise when I was doing a presentation in Venezuela on Marguerita Island to a group of about 180 people and while I was there doing a presentation on stretching, which is one of my favorite Tantric practices to do, I noticed that a lot of people had questions and wanted to ask me about their lives and how Tantra might fit into their lives, and I realized that time was short and for 180 people I didn’t see how I would be able to reach everybody. So I set an intention one day that I would in one minute, if a person, if you could give me one minute of your time I would help you reach your orgasmic power, and so when I made that statement then I said I would be available at lunch time, I would be available at the pool. If you come up to me and focused on really what you wanted in terms of orgasmic power I could be there, be present with you and magic would happen in one minute. Now sometimes it took a minute and a half or two minutes, I have to admit that it didn’t quite just last a minute. But for the most part we were able to in a minute tune into what the key thing is for each person that they need to unlock their orgasmic power.
Francesca Gentille: That, that’s so delicious and I’m so excited that we have 30 minutes with you. Wow, where are we going to be at the end of this show with unlocking orgasmic power, and before we go forward into what some of those keys and tips that you, that were coming forward as people were standing in front of you, I wanted to not skip over that you mentioned stretching as one of your favorite tantric practices, and do you mean emotionally stretching, physically stretching, sensually stretching, which kind of stretching are we talking about?
Philip Johncock: Well it can be financially stretching, it could also be, I think that we all stretch in different ways and we’re being asked in the world today to really stretch our belief systems, stretch our imaginations, so I think it can be a metaphor for, you know, a lot of things. But specifically my first tantric experience was really creating a safe space with a partner and then within that space allowing soft music in the background, allow us to do a type of stretching that allows each person to flow in a, both a yin and a yang, a giving and receiving, yin is receiving, yang is giving, and being in a place where we would stretch our bodies and just allow our bodies wisdom to sort of take over, and I’ve developed it over the years to this wonderful practice that I can do even with friends. Daughters can do it with their mothers. Anybody can do it fully clothed and it’s a wonderful way to stretch our bodies, and since I’m, typically had real tight hamstrings, the backs of my legs and my shoulders and chest carried a lot of body armoring, that stretching is something that I didn’t like doing as a kid growing up and I was, you know, quite athletic, but this new practice that Tantra allowed me to do with a partner was such a wonderful way to bring flexibility into my life, and in my book, The Path of SkyDancing Tantra, it has some of the stretches and then I actually teach some workshops that include some additional stretches that I found particularly useful.
Francesca Gentille: Let’s, you know, before we go further, what could be, so I just want to make sure that I’m getting clear and that our listening audience is clear, that by tantric stretching what, versus just regular, you know, sitting on the floor and, you know, reaching for your toes or standing up and reaching for the ceiling, that when I’m doing tantric stretching or when we’re doing tantric stretching we’re actually stretching with, like maybe pulling against, you know, like holding hands and like maybe pulling backwards and forwards while sitting on the floor with a partner. Can you give us like an example or maybe one thing to do at home with a friend or with a beloved that would be an example of what you mean by tantric stretching?
Philip Johncock: Yeah, that’s great Francesca, great question. One could be, which is one of my I call it joint massage, and as one person lies down on their back, and this can be done on the living room floor, could be done on a sofa but it’s usually better to be on a flat surface, and the other person plays with the toes for example, starts at the toes and kind of moves each toe a little bit, wiggles it and massages it while the person lying down relaxes and just absorbs and notices tension just releasing in their body, and as the person that’s doing the massaging or the joint massage will go to every single joint of the toe, and then every part of the foot, there’s so many joints in the foot. And then the ankle and moving the ankle around, moving up to the knee and then the hips and as the person, and not to go fast, I’m talking about this fast but usually, you know, doing 15 minutes through the whole body system of my partner, allowing them to relax as I play with each of the joints, because the synovial fluid that flows through the joints is what brings aliveness and life force into our body. But when that’s not flowing in our bodies then we don’t have that experience of space and fluidity. So laying down, one person, and I even do this with groups of four where one person lies down and if it’s a party or something then the other three people get, one person starts at one foot, the other person at the foot and the other, another person at the head, and every joint of the body is gently massaged. And that’s sort of the first practice that gets into the stretching. Does that, does that help?
Francesca Gentille: You know, that really helps a lot, and some of the principles that I heard you speaking about, some of the, you know, tantric sexuality principles are the slowness, the consciousness, the focus and that the person who’s a provider is bringing this consciousness, this focusness, focus and this slowness to each joint that they’re manipulating and working with, and then, and that’s the yang, and the yin, the receiver, their role is to just keep breathing and deepening into receiving this focus, this attention and into this relaxation and fluidity in their body, and this is, I love this, this is such a good prelude to, you know, that one minute orgasmic power because without that sense of relaxation we are armored, we are blocked and we can’t really access this, the beautiful energy in our body and I want to talk more about that when we come back from a break and a word from our fabulous and delicious sponsors who are particularly picked for our listening audiences and any time you use them please type in the word ‘tantra’, t-a-n-t-r-a, and you’ll receive discounts and gifts. So we’ll come back from a word from our sponsors.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing you the soul of sex. We’re talking to Philip Johncock who is, has a wonderful background collaborating and learning and training and teaching with Gay and Katherine Hendricks, Margo Anan, his wonderful books, his own programs, and we had started out by talking about the one minute orgasmic power, and you were saying how you had this conference in Venezuela, 180 people, you were going to give as you could one minute and, you know, I’m imagining at breaks and lunches there’s people lined up in front of you. Was there any commonality you started to see with men and what blocked them and what would give them orgasmic power, and any commonalities with women that you would see with what blocked them and what would give, what you could give to them that would give them orgasmic power?
Philip Johncock: Right, yeah. I was, first I was amazed at how many people were interested. I knew that people would be interested but I didn’t realize how many would be interested, and as they came forward and some of the patterns that I noticed, like for example with women, they were basically power, if you think about power from the place of like a generator, a generator of power and the body system generates its own power, and so for women I noticed that one of the things that they, would increase their orgasmic power was if they became the source and the generator of their own safety, and while that may sound like a simple thing a lot of the women didn’t really give themselves permission to really generate their safety for themselves and that relaxation that you talked about. The second thing was that they didn’t take, they didn’t realize that they were also the generators of their own pleasure. That they were responsible for their pleasure and, instead of realizing that it was their partners responsibility for their pleasure, so when they owned their pleasure, when they generated their safety, those were like the two things that really kick started and increased their orgasmic power. Now that’s for the, for the women. Now for the men…
Francesca Gentille: So before we go into the men and…
Philip Johncock: Sure.
Francesca Gentille: I want to go into the men, so delicious, let’s, you all are so adorable and you come with all the right parts, it’s so great, and, for us heterosexual women, and, but as a women I want to make sure to not skip over maybe something specific, so if I and our listening audience of women want to generate our own safety, what is even one tip that could, you know, or question that we could put in our minds that would help us shift from putting all the pressure on you guys, you know, you have to be the better guesser, you have to do everything, to actually owning and generating some of our own, so how, what’s something about generating our own safety and then something about generating our own pleasure?
Philip Johncock: The first thing for safety is if you ask yourself on a regular basis “In this moment what do I need to say or do to feel safe? In this moment what do I need to say or do to feel safe?”
Francesca Gentille: I, that’s so…
Philip Johncock: Go ahead.
Francesca Gentille: Let me just say that’s so, so wonderful, such simple questions that I think so many of us women never ask and, you know, wow, whole doors I mean my mind is just opening up as you say that. Go ahead.
Philip Johncock: Okay. The second one related to sexual pleasure is to say, “I’m willing to celebrate my sexual expression and delight. I’m willing to celebrate my sexual expression and delight.” And then also that, “I create time to cultivate pleasure in my life. I create time to cultivate pleasure in my life.” Now, do you need any more explanation on those or….
Francesca Gentille: I’ve just, with that one, what I heard in that, I just want to check in, is when you said, “pleasure in my life”, the kind of opening that came in my mind was, Oh wait, if I’m, you know, not having pleasure in my life, I’m not enjoying the food that I eat, I’m not enjoying the way that my home is decorated, I’m not enjoying the sensuality of my clothes, and now I’m in bed with you, my senses are going to be very closed down and it’s, there’s a lot of once again extra pressure on both of us to, you know, get me from a very cold state when you think of it to a hot state, versus if I am loving the silks and velvets and cottons or whatever that I love, that I put on my body, I’m enjoying the colors around me that I decorate with and I, the food that I eat, it’s just, I love that. Now when I’m getting into bed with, with you, you know, which isn’t my beloved, whoever that may be, then I’m already awake, you know, I’m not starting from this closed place. Is that what you also meant when you said the pleasure in life?
Philip Johncock: Right, yes, and also the celebration aspect of it is, is when you notice the pleasure to celebrate it, to make that a priority because if, in the past and maybe as children when we would celebrate our pleasure we might get shamed for it or we might get our hand slapped or we might, you know, something may happen from the authority figures around us because that may have threatened them or it may have created some, you know, some tension there. But by celebrating and every, it’s almost like every little whoof, you know, little bark that comes up, to celebrate that. I mean, that is a big turn on as a male when I see that happening in a woman, when she celebrates her, her pleasure.
Francesca Gentille: That, that sounds so healthy.
Philip Johncock: And natural and normal.
Francesca Gentille: And natural, and you know, just a little tip for our men as well, it’s to, I will say as a woman I love when my beloved encourages me to celebrate the sensual in my life and if I want to buy yet another silk skirt or just something that, you know, that really delights me, that gives me that little sense of “Mm, oh I love that color”, “I love that flavor”, “I love that thing”. One time he asked me, “Honey, don’t you ever have enough, you know, jewelry?” and I said, I looked at him and I said, “Are you kidding?” You know, of course I never have enough because every, it’s sensual delight for me, and I think everyone has that arena whatever it is. For some people it’s food or music or, you know, clothes or, you know, it could be anything, but it’s that, it’s that arena that gives us a delight when we partake of it and when we obtain it.
Philip Johncock: Mm hmm.
Francesca Gentille: And we, I would say male or female we want to encourage that, support that in our beloved, to have those pathways to celebrate the sensual in their life.
Philip Johncock: Right, right, and like I said it’s a turn on for me and I know most men, delight and when sensual as well as sexual pleasure’s happening it’s such an amazing gift to be a witness to.
Francesca Gentille: Mm hmm. And I want to come back to our men, our delicious men after…
Philip Johncock: I hope so.
Francesca Gentille: after a break and a word from our sponsors. I want to go into a break a little bit earlier so we have time to really delve into our wonderful men, and we’ll be right back.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra: Bringing you the soul of sex, talking with Philip Johncock and we have covered our women to some degree, but now we’re going to go deeper into our men and what brings them that one minute orgasmic power, what blocks them, what opens them up?
Philip Johncock: Okay, well for the men what I noticed that, first of all again the ones that came forward were incredibly courageous, and so curiosity, I was so appreciating how curious the men were because when I grew up the men were curious perhaps, but not about around sexuality and sensuality and a lot of it was sort of hidden, but not talked about or taboo or maybe talked in the locker rooms around conquests and, you know, so I wasn’t, the curiosity piece for me wasn’t part of my upbringings, but I was so appreciating the men coming forward who were curious. And the first thing that I noticed around, when they can generate their power, orgasmic power is by grasping this concept, and this one sort of took me by surprise, so for many men they don’t really grasp this, but when I grasped it, it really skyrocketed my orgasmic power, and that is that there are two completely separate independent functions called ‘ejaculation’ and called ‘orgasm’. They’re not the same thing. Now I grew up and most of my experience for much of my early adult life was that they were the same, that when I had orgasm was the same that I had ejaculation, but they’re two completely different physiological functions, and when I learned that and when I learned to separate the two, then my orgasmic power just took off. And I had an example where I was starting to have orgasms in different parts of my body. Now orgasm comes from the word, you know, organ comes from the same root as orgasm, so all of our organs in our bodies have orgasmic potential. There was a guy at a workshop one time I heard him like yelling in pleasure, screaming in pleasure, and later I asked him, you know, “Well, what was that that happened?”, he says, “I had this most incredible orgasm in my big toe, and it was just absolutely amazing”, and so I’ve experienced that as well where I begin to explore orgasmic ripples in my body, and Skydancing Tantra talks about the orgasmic reflex and uses a lot of the work of William Rike, bioenergetics and it focuses on the orgasmic ripples that happen in the body, and learning techniques spread those ripples, and when those ripples happen and learning to spread the pleasure throughout my body, it’s not just a localized experience, orgasm is not a localized experience to just the genitals and that’s, you know, there are books out there, The Multi Orgasmic Male and so forth. So the first thing for men was to separate orgasm from ejaculation. The second thing that I notice was when they honor the divinity within themselves and they honor the divinity, the goddess within themselves, that was a key to increasing their orgasmic power, they begin to not rely on a feminine energy necessarily outside themselves for their orgasmic power, that they could tune in, go within, honor their divinity within, honor the goddess within and then they could begin to honor the divinity in another person. So the phrase that I often like to use in my workshops I got from this greeting card that said, “Nomistay is I honor the place within you where the entire universe resides. I honor the place within you that is of love, of light, of peace. I honor the place within you that when you are in that place within you and I am in that place within me there is only one”.
Francesca Gentille: That is really beautiful. That is really beautiful, and that has also been my experience, is that the initial desire, you know, as a teenager, you know, as someone growing up in the world is to say, “If I can only get that person that I perceive as having some sort of prestige or power, whether it’s the power of attraction or money or vitality, if I can get that person into my life or to like me then somehow I will be okay, I will be enough, the emptiness or the needs inside me will be fulfilled by the other”, and it’s just like, you know, the image of the little donkey with the stick in front of him where the carrots in front and you’re always running and the donkey never catches up with the carrot, it’s like there’s always something outside and I never catch up with it even if I get it, and that it was challenging to be willing to turn inside, I think I was angry, I didn’t want to turn inside, I wanted someone else to save me. But when I turned inside and really started, you know, working with that, you know, owning, like you said, owning the pleasure, owning the safety, for a man allowing the spread of orgasm and this courageous curiosity about themselves and others and this, the willingness to experience their own divinity and the divinity of another through the portal of the divinity within, that’s when my relationships just transformed, you know, went from drama and tragedy to like, you know, a bliss and yin yang. But it came from that portal within. Thank you for saying that, and for saying that as a man.
Philip Johncock: Mm hmm, you’re welcome, you’re very welcome, and you mentioned Francesca about seeing some, noticing the quality in another person, being attracted especially to a feminine, you know, power, feminine power, and in a book that I wrote you didn’t mention called The Power of Receiving which is one of my favorite books, talks about the concept of friendly canablism. And it’s a Buddhist practice and it actually is looking at the projection of when I’m attracted to something outside of myself, when I’m attracted I’m admiring something, a really, there’s a power out there that I’m attracted to, I take that on, it’s sort of like I can close my eyes, I can sort of eat that inside of me, digest it, take it down to my toes and realized that that’s a power that’s inside of me that’s being reflected outside of me, but it’s a power that’s actually inside of me that I just don’t recognize right now that I’m a generator of that, somebody else is generating that.
Francesca Gentille: So an example would be if I’m listening to you and I think, Oh, you know, Philip is so, you know, he’s so wise, he’s so smart, he’s so insightful about sexuality that I could just breathe that in and really take that into my own body and say, and really embrace and look for the pieces of myself where I am that.
Philip Johncock: Yeah…
Francesca Gentille: And/or I have a longing to follow that pathway, if I’m so attracted to it as you then that’s a sign to me that a part of my soul wants to develop that in me.
Philip Johncock: Absolutely. Absolutely, your wisdom, your wisdom within, that wise, the wise part of, you know, your body, your body wisdom. Yeah, all of those qualities, yeah, take them and instead of running from them or I don’t know what people might be doing, you know, when they see that, but, you know, taking that on and trying it on and saying, you know, “Hey I have that, I just don’t know it right now. I’m just not aware of it, but I too have that because I am a human being, I have this experience here, and in this tantric resonance, the tantric field, I have access to all those disparate parts of myself that are spread out”, and that’s what Tantra really to me, I love the meaning of Tantra as the weaving of disparate, the integration of disparate parts of myself into a integrated whole.
Francesca Gentille: So the weaving of these separate pieces, sometimes disowned pieces of ourselves into a harmonious and unified whole and when you say that I really feel this sense that as each of us does that we uncover, recover, discover and integrate these pieces of ourselves, that we will have more compassion, more generosity, more harmony and peace to bring back out into the world for others.
Philip Johncock: Mm hmm. And also more union, more feeling of connection rather than feeling separate.
Francesca Gentille: Interesting. So what you’re saying is that as I feel separate from the pieces of me, then I’m going to be separate from you.
Philip Johncock: That’s the tantric teaching.
Francesca Gentille: Yum. Well Philip I could go on talking about this, there’s questions in my mind, but we’ve run out of our half hour already, and if people want to find out more about Philip, his website, his pictures, his book, links to his book, are at www.personallifemedia.com, that’s www.personallifemedia.com, and thank you so much for joining us today Philip.
Philip Johncock: Thank you Francesca. I appreciate your humor and thank you for laughing.
Francesca Gentille: And thank you our listening audience for being people who are committed to bringing the soul of sex.