Episode 29 - QUODOUSHKA: ANCIENT MAYAN SACRED SEXUALITY with Ina “Laughing Winds” Mlekush
Francesca Gentille interviews Ina "Laughing Winds" Mlekush, Quodoshka Educator featured on "Sex TV" (Canada) and "The Good Sex Guide Abroad".(UK)
In this episode you'll explore the shamanic healing energy of "Chuluaqui Quodoushka" Ancient secrets of the Mayans and the Toltecs around sexuality. Explore the 8 Lovers Masks. Discover your genitals as a generator and fueled by the Heart Pleasuring Exercise. Learn a powerful tool for Sacred Sexual Transformation. Revel in the joy of Merging Energy Fields.
Announcer: This program is intended for mature audiences only.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. I'm your host, Francesca Gentille and with me today is Ina Laughing Winds Mlekush who has a master’s in psychology. She’s a marriage and relationship counselor, a sex counselor, a master hypnotherapist and ordained metaphysical minister, the author of “Improve Your Sex Life and Relationships One Bite at a Time” and a senior teacher in Quodoshka, which have only 15 teachers worldwide.
Ina Laughing Winds: The life force energy of one thing connect into the life force energy of another thing and with no blocks, guilt, blame, shame, sexual repression with no violence that has been done to it since childhood, this energy will flow naturally into states of joy and orgasticness. The male and female basic and sensual differences does not make either right or wrong. It means we’re different. When I say sex life, again, I'm referring to intimacy in all its many expressions.
So, for us women, it really helps us if we can find a lover archetype that helps to arouse us. So, there are eight different lover archetype, lover mask. Well, the fact to the matter is who we are, if we don’t expand, we get kind of boring. There’s nothing worse than being bored with ourselves and then what (++) our poor partners. So, if we can just be honest, lovemaking and passion have to be cultivated.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome, Ina.
Ina Laughing Winds: Thank you, Francesca.
Francesca Gentille: Now, the reason that I invited the amazing Ina today is really the Quodoshka portion of her resume. For those of us who are listening, many of us won’t know what Quodoshka is, and yet, it’s a form of sacred sexuality.
Ina, would you tell us a little bit about what Quodoshka is and where it comes from?
Ina Laughing Winds: Yes, thank you, I’d be happy to. The full name is Chuluaqui Quodoshka. Chuluaqui means the primordial life force energy, the infinite diversity abundance of the universe from which everything is created. And Quodoshka – and we lovingly will call it Quodoshka or Q for short – Quodoshka is the merging of two magical energy fields. When that happens, we have synergy. We have that the sum is greater than the parts.
So, Chuluaqui Quodoshka comes from ancient teachings of the Mayans and the Toltecs. It has been preserved through thousands of years of oral tradition known as – those who preserved it – are known as the “Twisted Hairs”. It once was a secret society. The information was handed down from Shaman to Shaman over thousands of years and it was presented as a young boy to my teacher (++), also known as Thunder Strikes. He was mandated, when he was an adult, to take this body of knowledge who look like Quodoshka and bring it out into the general public, making it palatable for today’s audience.
The reason, I think, is very important as to why this beautiful body of knowledge that has been hidden to protect it 25 years ago, was mandated to be brought out is because the elders perceived the condition of our planet and the importance of us being able to embrace our sacred sexuality, truly understanding that our sexual energy is our life force energy. Through our life force energy, we can have a direct connection to God or Great Spirit or Christ or Buddha, whomever your higher power is. The elders said, “We need to reconnect to – what is otherwise known as four chakra – or, we need to connect to our sacred sexuality to establish ourselves as free thinking individual, artistically original human beings and to reclaim our freedom and our right to be sexual. So, that was kind of the long version.
Francesca Gentille: That’s amazing. Let me just look back at that for a second. So, the Quodoshka and the Chuluaqui, it’s that life force energy that when they do clearly in photography, when they see that energy field, the colored field around people, around plants, we’re talking about that life force, that electromagnetic field that everything has. These teachers in this ancient wisdom have something to share with us about how we can use that life force energy, combine it consciously with our sexuality to bring healing or peace or good stuff to the world in some way?
Ina Laughing Winds: Yes, except you did what a lot of us do and that is we separate spirituality, life force energy and sexuality. So, our life force energy which is, you said, can be seen through the (++) photography, it can be seen in an aura, you see it when a person’s in a light, it’s the halo above their heads. Life force energy is what gives us the energy. You want to jump out of bed in the morning and hit the day running and we’re passionate about our careers and our families. That’s all sexual energy. That’s all spiritual energy. We really cannot separate that, that our sexual energy, our life force energy and our spiritual energy are actually the same. What we have in our culture is it’s been separated so that to be spiritual and to be sexual become two different states of reality when in fact, they are not.
Francesca Gentille: Wow! Ina, I think the mind is shattered at that point because it’s so common in our culture, in our modern Western culture to think of them as separate. Like, we almost feel like – “Of course, they’re separate.” You know, one thing is on the left side of the room and the other thing is, you know, sex is over here. It’s only in the bedroom and over here is the kitchen. You don’t put those two together. They don’t even belong together. What you’re saying is that they’ve never been separate.
Ina Laughing Winds: That’s right, and what we need to do is we need to take the word sex or sexual and expand it beyond intercourse. So obviously, intercourse is a very powerful expression of our sexuality, especially when we learn through the Quodoshka that there are five levels of orgastic state and what happens in each of those five levels. But, if we simply just look at that, sex is much more than lovemaking and intercourse. Our sexual energy is our relationship to everything. Our relationship to other humans, to other animals, to the plant world, the mineral world, the human world, the spirit world. So, when we divide it, what we forget is that our sexual energy is more than jumping into bed and making love.
Francesca Gentille: So, Ina, you’re not saying that if I extend my sense of sexual energy to include plants and the mineral stones. I'm now going to start boinking each of those stones or plants. I'm imagining that what you’re saying is that Native American’s saying of all my relations is that I'm acknowledging that there is a connection. Not only that I need plants to survive, but literally an energy connection that happen with me and the stones, or me and the plants or me and everything. Is that what we’re saying when we say this life force energy, that sexual energy is life force?
Ina Laughing Winds: Yes, we are connected to everything. There is a Meridian gridline, we’re connected to everything. Now, there’s a difference between walking up to a beautiful tree, putting your body or your chakra against the tree, hugging the tree, breathing with the tree and finding your body go into an orgasm. You’re not – as you said it – boinking the tree. You are merging energy, life force energy. You can do the same thing with the boulder. You can do the same thing when you’re petting your cat or your dog, that there is a mutual energy connection.
If one is open to it, to allow the energy to flow out through what is called, from the native tradition, the fire from within, and the more concrete tradition, it’s called the kundalini, to allow that vortex of energy to flow through each of the different wheels – made for American term for chakras -- one can actually enter into an orgastic state through breathing. That orgastic state does not reach a climax like in ejaculation or what we call an orgasm for women, though women do ejaculate also. But, to reach that state means that you can plateau built, so like a pyramid, you can retire and heighten states of orgasticness that is a body, mind, spirit connection that you can experience with everything. It’s very respectful, and it actually does not have much to do with erections and genitals and in the physical engagement. It more has to do with the life force energy of one thing connecting to the life force energy of another thing and with no blocks, guilt, blame, shame, sexual repression with no violence that has been done to us in childhood, this energy will flow naturally into states of joy and orgasticness.
Francesca Gentille: I would love to talk more about how we do that? I mean, how do we start to shift from this way of being in the world that they separate, very alone, sometimes very sad people are angry into this state of being that you’re talking about where we feel communion and connection and joy, after we come back from a break and a word from our fabulous sponsors who has been hand selected for your pleasure. If you love this show and want to keep supporting it, we encourage you to connect with our sponsors and use the code Tantra. We’ll be right back.
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Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra. We’re talking today with Ina Laughing Winds Mlekush, who is the author of How to Improve Your Sex Life and Relationship One Bite at a Time, a senior teacher in Quodoshka, which is an ancient teaching of the Mayans and Toltecs with regards to sacred sexuality.
We were just talking about how it’s possible to connect to the vitality, the life force energy in everything, really everything, and to have a sense of pleasure and joy and communion and higher and higher levels of that throughout life, throughout our day. Ina, most of us do not live like that.
Ina Laughing Winds: No, we don’t.
Francesca Gentille: So, how do we shift? How do we shift from just being in our computers and just being in our hands and in our heads to that, you know, to something that’s more connected?
Ina Laughing Winds: Now, I'm going to take it to some very just reality based challenges of our culture. The first ways we do that is we actually get in touch with our physical bodies. We need to get in touch with our own passion, our own physical sex drive. If we’re not connected to what God or Great Spirit gave us which is our genitals, which is like a generator, it produces energy. That energy is what allows us to be vibrant and to live long and healthy. So, if we cut ourselves off from the physical sex drive, and just trying to work in the upper chakras, with from the heart, we’re going to sadly fail.
So, the first thing we need to do is to recognize how connected are we to our own sexual needs, to the frequency of our desire, to the different types of intimacy? Do we take care of that or are we sitting in front of the computer and working until midnight and wondering why we haven’t made love with our partner in a month and a half. So, the idea of our being connected to our spiritual sexual beingness means we have to grounded in the physical body as Great Spirit created us to have an actual, physical, sexual need to connect intimately.
Francesca Gentille: OK, I want to stop you there for a second. Let’s get even more concrete.
Ina Laughing Winds: OK.
Francesca Gentille: We’ll do one scenario for the men and one scenario for the women, and pardon me if this is raging generalizations for our male and female listeners. So, let’s imagine that there is someone who spends a lot of their time at the computer, in their head. Maybe they even know that they have a strong sex drive, that they love looking at naked women. They love looking at female genitalia. Maybe, it even feels easier to go online and look at pictures of women or watch women in little videos being erotic and then getting off, you know, touching their own genitals while they’re watching these pictures. That that’s easier than maybe going knock on the bedroom door and maybe try to convince or persuade their partner to have sex. Maybe they’re confused about what she really even wants and it can often feel like a lot of work or failure.
How does someone, like literally, so we’re talking to them, how can they shift that? What are the steps? Do they start to breathe?
Ina Laughing Winds: OK. I’ll be happy to answer that. Actually, that question comes up a lot in my private practice. I work with a lot of them, mature men. If they are going to be sitting in front of their computer, and they have enjoyment and it gives them stimulation, then for their self-pleasuring rather than masturbation, but as their self-pleasuring, what they want to do is build a good – and the pun is intended – a good head of steam than they want to stop and they want to take three or four nice breath with the intense of imaging their penis as a straw, that they’re pulling and inhaling their sexual energy down their penis into the scrutom. They contract the PC muscle as if they’ve just grabbed on to that energy, they’re going to take their fingers right at the base of their penis and they’re going to pull the energy up to the solar plexus, heart chakra.
The idea is the generator is being stimulated and then, there’s a certain amount of energy that’s being drained down and up into the body. Then, they let themselves get turned on again, build that nice head of steam and they want to do this five times, and preferably it should last for about 20 minutes. If anyone is having difficulties with early ejaculation, this is a technique to help them to gain total control over their ejaculative response. Now, the purpose of this is by building it and pulling that energy up from the first chakra, the sexual energy up into the heart space, that when they do have the orgasm/ejaculation, it’s going to bring about a greater sense of satisfaction. It’s going to be a deeper soul experience, because it’s not just a genital release, it’s a full body sensuality. So, that is how I would work with a man.
Now if he, in fact, does want to make love to his partner rather than making assumptions, what he would need to do is simply be honest and say, “I so miss our lack of intimacy. I so miss not touching your beautiful body. I would love for us to lay down and minimally cuddle and caress each other.” With any luck, it will move into lovemaking. You don’t even have to put that as your goal. You can put intimacy as your goal. Once two people are comfortable and opening their heart space to each other and not giving in with some anger that they had earlier in the day, lovemaking is a natural flow. But either way, in front of the computer or with the partner, slow down. That’s the key. Slow down, breathe, pull the energy up and play with it. The goal is not the ejaculation, eventually it is. The goal is the passion and how passionate can you become.
Francesca Gentille: I'm going stop and just make sure to clarify a couple of things is that when we talk about chakras, what we mean are these centers of kind of vitality or energy that are up and down the spinal column pretty much. The Quodoshka people and the Asian medicines and the Eastern and (++) medicine are all have this sense of an energy system in the body as well.
Now, we know about (++), and…
Ina Laughing Winds: Absolutely, absolutely.
Francesca Gentille: …and the other traditions we know about is this energy flow. The heart chakra is in the middle of the chest, in the same latitude as the heart. The third chakra, the solar plexus, is in the belly, usually about a couple of inches below the belly button. The second chakra which is that erotic chakra, the life force chakra, the creativity chakra, is a couple inches above the pelvic bone or right above the pelvic bone.
Ina Laughing Winds: From different traditions, oftentimes, the chakra is placed in slightly different places. So, from the Chuluaqui Quodoshka tradition, the chakra is wheel and the first chakra is actually located in the genitals. It’s the clitoris for the woman, it’s the (++) to the men. The second chakra is two inches above the hairline, in martial arts, it’s your key, your key it’s where your ground. The third chakra is the belly button, the fourth is the solar plexus where the rib cage comes together. The fifth chakra is the throat, the sixth is the third eye in the forehead. The seventh is the top of the head.
Now, in this tradition, we have the eighth chakra which is considered the body. The ninth is the five layers of the luminosity and the tenth is the halo – we’ll call it the halo – it has other names in our tradition – which is about ten inches above the head. So, in the metaphysical, as a minister, I only learned seven chakra traditions. In the Native American, Chuluaqui Quodoshka, there is the ten chakra system.
Francesca Gentille: Wow! How fascinating that there’s this difference. For our listening audience who are just maybe beginning, I'm imagining that one of the things that they can work on except what we’ve been doing with the men than with the women in just a moment – is that visioning, using the imagination, using the thoughts to help the energy follow its path, help the energy flow up the body. If they’re self-pleasuring in and building the sense of arousal, they can really envision that this energy, rather than going out the penis, it’s actually moving up the body, and this a greater sense of pleasure.
Then, this is something you know, I'm imagining you’re saying this, is that if they’re losing this sense of beautiful arousal and life force energy through their body already, that when they go to their partner, it’s going to feel warmer, it’s going to feel cozier, it’s going to feel more connective than if you think of a point. Pardon the expression of a point. If everything is pointed in the penis and you’re moving forward from the penis, that might feel a little pushy. If you’re moving forward, you know, coming to your beloved with this energy, this beautiful energy throughout your body, I'm guessing that’s going to be very attractive.
Ina Laughing Winds: The male and female basic instinctual differences does not make either of us right or wrong. It means we’re different. I'm talking about Level Quodoshka 2 where we really focus on our male or female differences. The differences is what allow us to come together beautifully. So, from the male perspective, directing his energy to the penis is the most natural beautiful thing he could possibly imagine. For a woman, it can be a little bit much. For a man, when we come to him with the soft, the heart, the gentleness. For us, it’s wonderful and for him, his (++), “When are we going to get the sex?”
So, we need to understand that how we approach each other needs to be with mutual benefit and welfare. When a man has been bringing this energy up into the heart chakra, if he chooses to ejaculate there in front of the computer, he will have energy not only releasing out of his penis which will be much more satisfying, he can have – and (++) at my work with this a few times – he can have energy shooting right out the top of his head, white light. So, I usually advise to be careful because you could just fall over backwards from a tremendous orgastic charge that is being released from the kondulini or the fire from within.
Francesca Gentille: I just have this picture, someone falling back off their computer chair.
Ina Laughing Winds: Exactly, and it has happened. And (++) share with me, like I tried to do this in the shower and I went, “Oh, my God, no!” He said, “I almost fell over.” I said, “You really should be lying down when you practice this exercise.”
Francesca Gentille: What a beautiful expense for men to really feel this throughout their whole body and even – like you said – shooting up at the top of their head. I love that you said celebrating the differences in a Level 2 Quodoshka. This is something that I practice at home is that I switched. I used to complain about my beloved having too strong of a sex drive and I said, “Well, what if I celebrated that instead?” so, I was the one that actually initiates the sexuality, and I say, “You know, let’s go into the bedroom. Let’s be naked. Let’s start massaging each other.” When I bring more of the directive energy, you know, kind of switch roles of us and when I bring more of the directive energy, it helps him to soften. Then, he can bring more of that sort of hard energy back to me.
For women who are listening, I really would want to encourage them to celebrate the differences, but also take on some of that, the more proposed directive energy and support your man. If you want that, if you want your man to be able to kind of soften more into his heart. For our men, it sounds like when they soften into their hearts, when they’re moving that energy up to their heart, then it will have a tendency to support their beloved, to bring forward more of their attracting energy, a little bit more of their drive energy. Would that be true like when we sort of shift polarities, so to speak? That the other person shift with us?
Ina Laughing Winds: Yes, that is true. It’s important that we’re in it together. A man is chosen, his spirit and soul is chosen to be in a man’s body and our spirit and soul have chosen to be in a woman’s body. So, for the most part, we want to dance in our stamina, (++) in our masculinity. But, we are also the balance. That’s what when the androgenous. I have a masculine side as this man has a feminine side. So, it’s very good to play in those different aspects which allows our sexuality to stay vibrant and alive rather than becoming a pattern – in the bedroom every morning or every night or once a week by actually changing and being maybe a little more playful or a little more (++). This once again can bring us back to Quodoshka because we teach with lover’s mask. That there’s eight different lover persona that the soul needs to experience. Then, experience it brings a depth to truly who we are and who we can be in our passion with each other. So, we don’t have to get bored with just being the same way. As I have my eight ways and my partner has his eight ways, eight times eight is 64. We have 64 lovers between the two of us.
Francesca Gentille: Hmm, that is so delicious. When we come back from as break and a word from our sponsors, I would love to talk more about the lover’s mask and also to talk a little bit about kind of the average woman and how we might help her shift and expand her energy of life force and pleasure, after we come back from a break and a word from our fabulous sponsors, and always use the code Tantra when you connect with our sponsors. We’ll be back.
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Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra with Ina Laughing Winds Mlekush. She’s about to tell us about how women can expand their erotic joy and also we’ve been a little bit about the lover’s mask. I know we have only a few minutes left. So, Ina, go for it.
Ina Laughing Winds: Thank you. Our culture has really done us a disservice in that we think at certain ages, maybe during menopausal, menopausal, that our sex life dies. The most part – yes, the hormones can drop – but our state of mind disagree with the sex organ we have. So, women, because we do multiple tasking, we need to have a little more assertive effort to keep our mind on one subject. So, that would be for us to realize the importance of us maintaining our attitude and approach that sexuality, intimacy is sacred with ourselves, if we’re single; with our partners, if we have partners. It matters not what this sexual partner is. What matters is that we understand that we need to cultivate with the earth, grandmother earth, we need to cultivate the earth so that we have beautiful flowers and fruits and possibilities always, no matter for 60, 70, 80, 90 years old. Our sex life needs to continue. So, when I say sex life again, I'm referring to intimacy and all its many expressions. For us women, it really helps us if we can find a lover archetype that helps to arouse us.
So, there were eight different lover archetype, lover mask. In that, it’s anything from the shy curious and how would you dress the show shy curious? It could be the adventurer, explorer. How would you dress to show yourself as a sexual adventure explorer? It could also be the lusty passionate. You’re going to do a wonderful strip for your partner even though you don’t know how to dance. You don’t care. It’s not about how good you can dance. It’s about that you’re willing to play and to step in to this. Maybe you want to experience a little bit of being a dominatrix or being “How I may serve you, my Lord, my King.”
So, in that, we don’t even have to put a costume on to step into that space. But I find that some form of a tired does help us to shift this especially after we’ve worked out all day. We’d put our kids to bed, you know, we’re working on a major project. We also have to walk away from the computer, go in, take a shower, put on something that makes us feel good, and of course, our partners will love whatever we do. But something that we feel sexy and sensual in, and then say, “Who do I want to be?”
So, there’s a part of us that will feel very inhibited about, “Am I not enough just with who I am?” Well, the fact of the matter is who we are if we don’t expand, we get kind of boring. There’s nothing worse than being bored ourselves. And then, what about our poor partners. So, if we can just be honest, lovemaking and passion have to be cultivated. If you don’t water a garden, the garden will dry out and the fruit will die. We need to be cultivated by our partners and we need to cultivate ourselves and that is ongoing for our entire life.
So, rather than see it as something that is work, it becomes a play. It becomes dress up, it becomes joyful, it becomes fun. So, my first priority everyday is first, to know, “What are my needs? What are my sexual intimacy central needs?” Sometimes, it’s a bubble bath and sometimes, it’s eating outside and feeling my sun on my body. If I'm going to the store, I'm going to dress attractively, for me because it is keeping me connected to my sacred life force energy sexual energy, which is what is going to keep me young of heart and young of spirit even as I step into aging.
I'm 59 years old. I am very sexually active with my husband. I am a very sexual, sacred sensual human being. We don’t have to be afraid that if we show that, someone’s going to take advantage of us. We can be women of power and walk in our strength. To do that, we need to be connected to our sexual life force energy that God, Great Spirit gave us.
Francesca Gentille: Ina, I just want to thank you so much for joining us, giving us this beautiful window of moving the sexual energy up and out in our whole bodies and also giving us this perspective of this many roles and archetypes that we can choose. I just want to take in one thing before we leave. Really, either of these can be used male or female. Correct? So, the women can move the sexual energy up and through and out their bodies and the men can try on these different masks. Would that be correct?
Ina Laughing Winds: In the Quodoshka, what we teach is that lover’s masks are for everybody, and the heart pleasure in exercise of bringing the energy up when a woman masturbates or self-pleasures, she does the exact same things. She stops, she pulls the energy up, contracting PC muscle. These, what I shared with you, though we focused on male and female, are actually taught that we all men and women, if we can embrace these things to enhance their intimacy, their personal life and to just make life more fun.
Francesca Gentille: And, if you were to give us a couple of resources, either online resources or books or ways to find classes in our area, what would you suggest for us to continue to pursue information on Quodoshka, information training on Quodoshka?
Ina Laughing Winds: The best way to do it will be to contact my website which is SpiritualSexuality.com. There’s an online brochure and testimonials. We have a worldwide calendar that gives when the Quodoshka workshops are being taught around the world. There’s only 15 of us in the world that are trained. It’s a very stringent training process. So, those of us who have acquired this, really are, each one of us, teaches this with the highest level of expertise and integrity and that’s what we’re most concerned about that the integrity of this ancient practice is maintain.
So, contacting me, Ina on My Spiritual Sexuality, or you can go directly to [email protected] which is the mother organization of the Deer Tribe.
Francesca Gentille: Thank you so much, Ina. For our listeners, you can get transcripts from this show. Also, get to Ina’s URL and leave us messages as well and e-mail us at www.PersonalLifeMedia.com.
Thank you for listening to Sex: Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex.
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