Divine Nectar: The journey of female ejaculation with Tallulah Sulis, Erotic Educator, Somatic Sexologist, Female Ejaculation Expert
Sex – Tantra and Kama Sutra
Francesca Gentille
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Episode 22 - Divine Nectar: The journey of female ejaculation with Tallulah Sulis, Erotic Educator, Somatic Sexologist, Female Ejaculation Expert

Francesca Gentille interviews Tallulah Sulis, producer of the film "Divine Nectar." In this episode, Tallulah goes to the heart of female ejaculation: What it is and isn't - The Myths - Resources. Learn how to locate and awaken the g-spot, how every woman can learn how to ejaculate, exercises to deepen relationship intimacy and pleasure through g-spot meditations. Be trained in what to do when the Goddess Spot is awake and emotional energy is exploding along with ejaculation.

Transcript

Transcript

Divine Nectar: The journey of female ejaculation with Tallulah Sulis, Erotic Educator, Somatic Sexologist, Female Ejaculation Expert

Announcer:  This program is intended for mature audiences only.

[Music]

Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. I'm your host, Francesca Gentille. And with me today is Tallulah Sulis. Tallulah is an erotic educator, a producer of the film divine nectar, a #somatic sexologist, and a female ejaculation expert.

[intro - show's highlights]
Tallulah Sulis: I guess that we believe that female ejaculation is a nectar of the heart meaning that it's a very deep experience and therefore… and it's a very explosive feeling of a deeper form of relief. And G-Spot stimulation in #itself usually has more emotional energy to it.

Usually if there is any kind of # thoughts that means that you've ejaculated, you just might not have known about it or felt. Sometimes it can come out very discreetly. That's what I # time out of holding space and how important it is when you're holding space to just make sure that your guests or your partner #while she's having a kind of emotional release.

I was having great sex long before I discovered female ejaculation. It actually has altered my erotic energy my and my #nature to a whole another level.
[end of intro - show's highlights]

Francesca Gentille: Tallulah, this is such a wonderful combination of things that you are and things that you do and that I want to talk about all of them. But the one that is unique for our show so far is that female ejaculation expert. What is it to be a female ejaculation expert?

Tallulah Sulis: Well, that's a self-proclaimed title I guess because there's not that many of us out there. But I've just done a lot of research about the myths and misconceptions and also about the benefits and reclaiming the experience of female ejaculation which most people know very little about right now. But it is something I believe that has been happening since the dawn of time with women's sexuality and just now when it's coming more into consciousness. So, I'm helping bring this information to the mainstream as well as many different cultures so that women can help better understand and embrace their sexuality.

Francesca Gentille: Female ejaculation, you've mentioned that, it’s a… some of this it's a myth, I think, to some of the people that are listening, it could still be a myth. Is this something that every woman can attain? Most women can attain? Is there a range of sort of like with clitoral orgasms, there's kind of a range… You can be having number two clitoral orgasm, so to speak, and you can have a number 10. [laughs] Is that like with female ejaculation?

Tallulah Sulis: Yes. Well, with female ejaculation I believe that every woman has the capacity to learn how to ejaculate because every woman has the anatomy to do so and primarily it's the anatomy that I'm speaking of is the urethra, the G-spot, and the clitoris. And basically having the anatomy means that we have the potential to have this experience and for some women it takes practice, for some women - just knowing that it's possible, for some women - being given permission. I know from my personal experience too. I need a permission to know that this experience was possible and that it was perfectly OK with my partner. So,, there's definitely many shades of gray within this. And I taught many women how to ejaculate. I know a lot of women have learnt how to ejaculate by watching my video and just through talking amongst their girlfriends about this experience, or having partner who had some experience with it too. They definitely believe that this experience is possible for every woman if she's so desired.

Francesca Gentille: That brings up a great question. This is you know a sacred Sex of Tantra, of Kama-Sutra, the soul of sex. Why would a woman or a couple want to bring female ejaculation into their partnership or a woman to bring it into her own life.

Tallulah Sulis: This is a great question. Now, female ejaculation might be a different experience for many different people, and how they share that in couplehood, and in a sacred way. I definitely believe that female ejaculation is a matter of the heart meaning that it's a very deep experience and therefore it's very explosive too. And It's a deeper form of relief and G-Spot stimulation in #another self usually has more emotional energy to it. It's deeper in the body you know it's a deeper experience.

And the actual female ejaculate is such an amazing powerful and potent substance. It can be used to adoring your lover with it, to put it on their body and it has a lot of very high energetic properties to it and you know in some people consider it very sacred nectar of the divine feminine. So this experience can help bring you really closer to your lover, because you're telling them what you need to help give birth to this experience, it's very powerful.

So, because of its explosive qualities, because it's a very #tangible experience, because there is an actual liquid involved with this that it has a special potential to create a very magical space between you and your partner that brings you closer because of the nature of the stimulation and because of what an emotional relief it is, you know, it's possible with this experience.

Francesca Gentille: So, this is something that a couple could definitely study together, learn together. And one of the things that I'd heard and I want to kind of check in with you is that the G-Spot, actually the whole vagina, the whole vulva, can carry in a sense, you know, a trauma, an upset of times in a woman's life where maybe she felt out her #by a girl and had something terrible happened to her. And that the whole body can carry trauma so that when we start working with the G-spot that there's sometimes the emotional release, but first emotional release could be sadness, could be anger. And then on the other side of that it's a huge amount of expanded and extended pleasure, but at first there could be other things. Is that accurate?

Tallulah Sulis: Yes. I would say that also this is a really important aspect of G-Spot stimulation and of female ejaculation. Some women have no G-Spot. And if you're stimulating the G- Spot and in it there's a kind of a #non feeling or just feels like pressure I encourage women to also incorporate the clitoris to the help on bringing up arousing the energy to help you know get blood and arouse your energy into the G-Spot. And some women have very painful G-Spots. This is all a result of different traumas. It could be a bad experience at a gynecologist or it could be a sexual abuse issue as well.

So, this is a deeper emotional experience and because of that sharing that with your partner can be… can bring you closer because of that. Now, it's important that the partner is able to hold space while they're stimulating the G-Spot. And by holding space I mean being pleasant and not trying to #sex her if there is some kind of emotional release that is happening during the G-Spot stimulation, but simply letting her know, maybe even, you know, just like literally, by saying: "I'm here for you. I'm just here." And just being able not be fearful in the face of that expression is really important for partners to work with together with the G-Spot.

And the G-Spot and #noves pulse can be awakened. Maybe it's feeling #that maybe at one point it felt very painful to touch the G-Spot after a continued stimulation and releasing, you know, emotional traumas or just feeling really connected to your partner. That can help actually #tint the sensation of the G-Spot. You can actually awaken it, go from a non-G-Spot to a highly #sensitized G-spot #which is {what's} so incredibly magic about exploring the G-Spot for pleasure and also for more emotional well being.

Francesca Gentille: You know, Tallulah, this is really delicious and kind of new territory for many of us and I want to talk more about where the G-Spot is located, how do we find it, any concerns that people might have about what an ejaculate is, and how much there is [laughs] - after we return from the break in a word from our sponsors.

[announcement]
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Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. And we are here today with Tallulah Sulis, erotic educator, somatic sexologist, and a female ejaculation expert, and producer of the film about female ejaculation, "That Divine Nectar." And we were just talking about ejaculation how healing it is, how connective it is for the couple and how it deepens a sense of arousal and intimacy. And I was just asking if you would give us a little bit more information about how we find the G-Spot and then we'll go into a little bit more about ejaculation, but first how do find it?

Tallulah Sulis: Well, It's not as elusive as most of the people think it is. A lot of people think that it's very far back or deep within the vaginal canal that actually the G-Spot is right there. In fact, it's so near the vaginal opening that you can actually see it sometimes when the woman pushes out her muscles, her #PT muscles, those are the muscles that start and stop the flow of urine. The G-Spot is actually a spongy #mount and it's easier to find when a woman is in an aroused state. And it's on the top of the vaginal opening. So, if you're doing the #comb-heather motion which is like your fingers curve upwards towards 12 O'clock, you're gonna find a spongy #mount with ridges and even have sort of like gutters along the sides of it too, it definitely has the distinct sponginess and ridges to it.

And she's going to feel maybe a sensation like she needs to pee. It might feel like pressure, or it might be very arousing, but the best time to find this, like I said, is when she's pretty aroused too. Some women have very #plumped big G-Spots and for someone it's a little bit less pronounced unless she is aroused, but just by doing that #comb-heather motion and moving your fingers from behind the sponge forward is the best way to really start simulation with it.

And even using some pretty firm pressure is actually OK for the G-spot. It requires less of a vibrational energy but more of a pressure and simulation with fingers or with the G-spot toys. And even with the penis too. You can use that as a way to angle it up. Because most of the time during lovemaking the penis or the dildo will go right on #past the G-Spot. It's not angled up enough for her to really get G-Spot stimulation from that.

Francesca Gentille: And I find that when I'm practicing to find my G-Spot [laughs] with a beloved... At least to start it helps to go very, very slowly and as if either he's putting a finger inside me, or he's entering me with his penis to just go very slowly… And there's this point where I'll just, you know: "Ah!" I can just feel it, it's just like this ,"Ah!", that's that. There's something really intense and very special about that spot. And personally I feel that my vulva and my vagina have moods. [laughs] So, one encounter, one day I might want a faster stroke, or a stronger stroke in some way, and other days really sort of just glacially slow is what brings the most intense feeling and, sadly, it's not a recipe where it stays the same. [laughs]

Tallulah Sulis: And this actually where a lot of partners can get very confused even from partner to partner like: "This worked one day, why isn't it working now?" And maybe they're taking it personally or they are getting frustrated, but really that's actually the beauty, and the magic, and mystery of the vagina. It's so #luscious and it has this different story every time.

And I really also liked what you were saying about going slow upon entering at the vaginal opening even if you're super turned on. It's so very important. You're entering a secret space, you're entering her temple. And that even when you're putting your own fingers inside yourself, or even like putting a tampon in, just making sure that we're being very intentional about the way we enter our vagina. With just a lot of sacred energy and heart connection with that space, not just something to #shove things into. It could be important for a heat of the moment in some sexy exchange but really just making sure that there's at least some kind of honoring of that, of entering sacred space.

Francesca Gentille: I love what you're saying it's the difference between the sort of like barging into… You know, a little kid just start like running into the middle of the house without thinking of what's going on. And if you're entering something that you feel is very precious very tender, whether that's a church, whether that's a room where birth is taking place, whatever. Or something where it's just very beautiful, you know, where a #soufle is cooking, you'd want to come in in a very tender way, very gentle way, very cautious way, and I think that's what we mean when we say sacred.

And I've heard some women and men speak of a concern sometimes about the what's released in the G-Spot orgasm, the ejaculate. Could you tell us a little bit about what the ejaculate is and what it isn't?

Tallulah Sulis: Well, female ejaculation is not urine. Most people have that kind of #cognitation. #We even think that they are urinating, because it comes from the urethra which is also where urine comes out of. So, you kind of… If you're not familiar or aware of female ejaculation, it might feel like you're peeing a little bit. But actually the more practice that you have #with this, the more you can definitely easily distinguish that you're not urinating at all. And it definitely has a different sensation even #knowing what their similarity is.

Female ejaculation is mostly composed of prostatic acid #phosphetates because it comes from the female prostate. So, it's basically a prostatic fluid with trace amounts of urea. So it does have trace amounts of urine, but it definitely does not smell like urine, it does not look like urine. It's a clear substance like a clear water, and kind of like tears, kind of has the consistency of tears, # tears the heart the #Unrita which is another name for female ejaculation. And #Unrita is the #sense god word meaning "the nectar of immortality". So, there is many more different ways to call this liquid, this nectar. So it's this clear fluid and it can be very, very, very #purfious. Like you can wet an entire bed, or it can be just a few droplets.

Anytime there is a wet spot on the bed I like to tell women about most likely female ejaculation. Lubrication is not really # you leaving a big wet spot on a bed, but even a small wet spot. Usually if there is any kind of wet spots that means that you've ejaculated. You just might not have known about it or felt it. Sometimes it can come out very discreetly, sometimes it dashes across the room, sometimes it's just kind of dribbles out. And those are all acceptable forms of female ejaculation but enough variation, so that a lot of women don't know that they're actually already ejaculating.

Francesca Gentille: It reminds me of the male ejaculation. There's a kind of #miss that, you know, men have this pouring of muscular ejaculate that kind of goes across the room, whatever. [laughs] And there is a huge rain ranged for men, as well, from, you know, a couple of drops to… to be practically half a tub. Some men have a lot of lubrication, the entire time they are aroused, some have none. And it sounds like there's that same range with women.

Tallulah Sulis: Yes. #I know a lot of women still just do that because they do not projectile [laughs] It did not #prove productively that actually they won't have an ejaculation. So, actually I was surprised at how much that did come up. They like: "Oh, yes, everything is like totally wet", but it never was like airborne. [laughs] So, that what an ejaculation is. Definitely, there's some more that what women know, there are so many different ways that it can happen in many different amounts, that they can understand that they probably are already having this experience.

Francesca Gentille: Yes. I love that the kind of permission to have it be unique and whatever we want it to be. And I want to talk more about some of the ways that we can use this, maybe even some of the traditions, and how we bring this into our lives as individuals, and couples after we come back from a break in a word from our sponsors.

[announcement]
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Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. With us is the wonderful Tallulah Sulis and she is so beautiful, I recommend you go to her website and find her… What's your website Tallulah?

Tallulah Sulis: My website is #divinenectar-thefilm.com.

Francesca Gentille: #divinenectar-thefilm.com for Tallulah and her film and we were just talking about the female ejaculation what it is and what it isn't. And do you have any resources that you would recommend for people to find out more about the G-Spot, ejaculation?

Tallulah Sulis: Yes there is many wonderful resources and, like you said, I've just come out with my video "Divine Nectar" which is all about female ejaculation. It's like an instructional video about that and that's definitely something that is a very thorough way to actually see and learn about female ejaculation. Also there's many other erotic educational videos. I definitely highly recommend to start out with videos because a lot of #Tantra's seems is very important.

#{Dall, person's name} has come up with her video, actually three videos about female ejaculation. And then there is also "Liquid Love" by #Godfrey Alice and Leila Swan {names}. And there's also a book by Deborah #Sandalakowski "Female ejaculation and the G-Spot". And you can also, I guess, Google "female ejaculation" and there is lots of things that can come up. You can just read online, there are very thorough websites about female ejaculation.

Francesca Gentille: Wonderful and I don't know you noticed that my beloved is actually on one of the films. [laughs] Not with me - with a former sweetheart. #I think it's Debra Saunders' video on female ejaculation. So, it's a journey for a couple. This is a wonderful journey for a couple. And on the average do you have a sense of how long if a couple or a woman individually is trying to find her G-Spot, trying to get to know her G-Spot, and, you know, they're trying to get to know it and awaken it as is you said. It might start out #none, sometimes it starts out painful. That doesn't have anything to do with the partner, right? I mean, it's not their technique or if they're doing something wrong, it's just literally a process or a journey.

Tallulah Sulis: Yes. It's part of a process and a journey that can be very emotional or can be just very joyous. So each journey is so different too. And I would say it has nothing to do with the partner. It's important for the partner not take a lot of the emotional responses #or the emotional process personally because a lot of … that's what I #signed up with holding space and how important it is when you are holding space too. To just make sure that you're #there for your partner, while she's having some kind of emotional release or response. It's not about the partner, it's knowing to not take it personally and just know that that's part of her process is really important.

And I would definitely say that it's also important to not put pressure on ourselves. A lot of people say: "Oh, I get the whole female ejaculation thing, but it just make me feel like yet I another thing that I have to put pressure on myself to be on some kind of… at some sexual level that makes me feel inadequate as I am right now." And when I say in my video and also to women that I'm coaching # works up with that whatever you ask is totally perfect, and they have so much compassion for yourselves and as a partner to not put pressure on your partner to, and that's really important… to be as encouraging and as excited as you possibly can. You know like: "Wow! This is so beautiful", and just to be very compassionate for that space.

Because the moment we get down on ourselves it starts to feel like we have to be doing something or there's some obligation. So, # it takes us out of our party and other social places that we get into, very sacred and special. So, realizing that there is no goal here, that there is just a very sacred and special space and it's part of a journey. And this journey is unique to every woman, and it's gonna look different, and take different amounts of time.

So, it might be years that you're going to be on journey of uncovering the trauma or the emotional energy that's in your G-Spot. Where's for someone it's just #in that instant permission like: "It's OK, baby, let's go there and do this", or "Oh, I just saw this video and I know this is possible now", and then - boom! They're ejaculating and I'm having that experience. So, it's such a variety, such a journey for each woman and her partner.

Francesca Gentille: I love that, the idea that you're bringing, to bring compassion and a sense of playful exploratory relaxation rather than kind of a heavy goal: "we had to get here to prove something". Either about, you know, if I am the person providing the simulation I have to prove that I am a good lover by getting my beloved to have ejaculation, or if I'm a woman and I have to prove that I am a good lover by ejaculating. And instead it's something where we're exploring and taking the time whatever the time it takes and it's just part of the development over time of who we are as a couple.

Tallulah and I, we just, heard a story of a couple recently who has been married for 14 years and started to explore the female ejaculation as just the next level. There is always another level of expanding one's sexuality and one's #extacy. And how has this been for your life personally, Tallulah, is there something that… How did you find this and what has it done for your life?

Tallulah Sulis: Well, It's been such an amazing extensive experience for my life sexually. And I was having great sex before I discovered female ejaculation, but it actually helped me to take my erotic energy in my journey to whole another level. And my first experience of female ejaculation was a partner who had experience with this before with other women, and he was stimulating my G-spot and he said to me: "I think, you can do this". Like "I think, you can have this experience", and I thought it was a circus act. Like: "What is this?" I've heard of it maybe once and I didn't even quite of #hoped believing it. But there was something in the invitation, there was something in the permission that was given to me.

When I had an orgasm after he was stimulating my G-spot I ejaculated just the tiniest little bit and something in me just really opened up and it felt like #attaching to something very sacred, and very ancient. And something ancient within the collective consciousness of women's sexuality. It felt very revolutionary too. It felt very powerful and I started working with it more and more. And the more I was working with this, the more I was able to ejaculate, the more I felt that my G-Spot has got a lot more #sensitized.

And the more I was able to really connect with my partner in a deeper way too like sharing this experience with him. So, for me it's an #act {worth} of life changing and it felt very empowering. And, like you said, it has its edge of revolution because we are evolving sexually and it seems like another step in the consciousness and awareness of women's sexuality and our sexual potentials which is unlimited.

Francesca Gentille: I am so enjoying everything that you're sharing with us about the female ejaculation and this journey for individual or couple. And do you have any kind of last words - reminders for us of what to do and what not to do?

Tallulah Sulis: Well, I definitely think it's very important to just be like… very compassionate with yourself, and if your partner is with a woman who is going on this journey and experiencing this to just have a lot of encouragement, a really positive encouragement and sense of exploration. And they definitely also encourage partners and couples to explore #"Yoni" massage and #"Yoni" is another word for "vagina", so doing like a vaginal massage incorporating that with full body massage too. And really just make a special experience of just giving her pleasure and that way she doesn’t have to reciprocate anything and you can give her also permission to explore what she likes and doesn't like.

So, you can say: "Oh, how about this? You like that? What if I put my fingers deeper", or "What if I'll use more pressure?", or she's saying: "Oh, go a little bit faster", or "why don't we try this?" There are many different ways to have this beautiful open explorative energy with your partner and with yourself too. And I definitely encourage educate yourself about female ejaculation. Watch videos about it and talk about it with your friends like explore it #on minds and just learn different avenues and ways that you can have this experience. So, #just having so much fun on your path, you're on unique journey.

Francesca Gentille: Thank you so much, Tallulah. It's just been a pleasure and a delight to have you. And if any of our listening audience want to find out more about Tallulah, there's her website, there's her film, and all of this can be found at www.personallifemedia.com. www.personallifemedia.com. There is transcript, there are pictures of Tallulah, and information that will get you where you want to go with female ejaculation. And if you want to give any comments to Tallulah and I, you can also call 206-350-5333. That's 206-350-5333. Thank you for joining us on Sex, Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex.

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