Episode 60 - REVEALING ECSTATIC BEAUTY THROUGH EROTIC HEALING TOUCH with Sunyata Satchitananda

Transcript

This program is intended for mature audiences only.

(Musical Interlude)

Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex, Tantra and Kamasutra, bringing you the soul of sex.

(Musical Interlude)

Sunyata Satchitananda: There's a big difference between giving touch and taking touch. I think if you sit with that for a second you can get the feel for what that is. Its for (needy), if its about us, touch tends to be taking. Its what we are wanting from the person before us. If its giving touch, it tends to be totally the opposite and that's the touch we want to use which is transmitting our love to a partner.

(Musical Interlude)

Sunyata Satchitananda: For couples who are experiencing maybe some rough patches but things are generally manageable and workable and in love – in space of love – then that's what I encourage them to identify with, the love that they are feeling and the things that they see in each other that are drawing them to each other that are the attraction, that are the places where they meet.

(Musical Interlude)

Francesca Gentille: I'm your host Francesca Gentille and with me today is Sunyata Satchitananda. Did I say that right, Sunyata?

Sunyata Satchitananda: Yes. You did. Thank you.

Francesca Gentille: Okay! And Sunyata is a Daka, a sexual healer and a erotic body worker. A fine art photographer and he is been a fine art photographer for over 30 years. The Daka sexual healer erotic body worker for the last three years and out of that combination has produced and developed a beautiful, beautiful book “Unveiling the Goddess – Visions of Divine Beauty” which has so many gorgeous, gorgeous pictures of women, nude in nature that transport us to that sense of communion with all that is. And I want to welcome you to our show today.

Sunyata Satchitananda: Thank You. Hey! Glad to be here.

Francesca Gentille: Seeing your beautiful photography work and also knowing you as a person I want to bring forward in this half an hour information about how the average person can become that sexual healer in their... for themselves, for one another in their relationships and how the average person can be on a journey to bring forth a sense of beauty in the person in front of them and also evoke their own beauty so that they feel gorgeous and empowered where ever they are. Does that sound good?

Sunyata Satchitananda:Yeah. It does. Certainly a pressing need in our society.

Francesca Gentille: And I wanted to ask you. I hear worked thirty years, an amazing photographer, I can see it from your work and yet at some point you transitioned and you became the sexual healer, erotic body worker and a Daka which is I believe the to that term that sacred erotic guide. And what inspired you? What had you go on this journey?

Sunyata Satchitananda: Well I was photographing and creating my art and there was an experience that was reoccurring where the women posing for me who weren't professional models they were just normal regular women that were friends or girlfriends and they were receiving a wonderful transformative experience of seeing, recognizing their beauty through the process and seeing the images that result. I was careful to create a process that was respectful and was conscious of their comfort – something... they were doing something for the first time and were exposed and vulnerable. So through that whole process they were able to relax their [armoring] and explore more about their beauty in nature and results were just profound. Women would sometimes break down and reveal to me the judgments that they have been carrying about their beauty and how they saw that it was just a false distinction they were carrying and they felt much better from the process.

Francesca Gentille: I'm going to jump in there for a moment. Because you pointed out something so important that we don't always know, because we take things so personally. Its how each women and I'm guessing men as well, look at their own bodies and see what's not perfect. We look at our own body so critically, in the mirror or as we're getting dressed, we see every little pimple, every little wrinkle, every little [bulge] that we think isn't supposed to be there. Every little dimension in some way that we think is out of perfect proportions and in those focus... in that focus, it becomes the whole world. The imperfection what is not perfect becomes... it overtakes us we experience ourselves literally as ugly. I've never met a woman who thought that she was actually beautiful. I've never met a woman, no matter how beautiful you and I would think that didn't think that there was something overwhelmingly wrong with her body. Whether not you and I would ever notice that, she felt that and its incredible that you developed something in this photography that started to shift the way that women, in particular - I'm guessing it could be for men as well – look at themselves and experience their own beauty. Thank you. (Laughs)

Sunyata Satchitananda: (Laughs) Oh yeah.

Francesca Gentille: And how can our listening audience... how can we take the lessons that you've learned on our behalf? How can we take this into our bedrooms? How can we take this into our own relationships with our own beloved? Our own bodies?

Sunyata Satchitananda: Well I think its a process of allowing ourselves to see below the surface of who we are and really acknowledge the entirety of our being and not just focus on the surface. And it may sound a little strange being that the art is a pictorial display of the surface of the person, but I think what stands out in my art is, I endeavor to reach below that and draw out the soul of the woman. And also men. I do have images of men as well. But to draw the soul out and to portray a connection, an essential connection between the inner self and the surrounding – beautiful, natural surroundings. So within a relationship and certainly starting within ourselves if we are able to have some inquiry and some exploration into who we are and what makes us who we are to ourself then we can being to areas where we are holding judgments and distinctions that don't really serve us. Its these that keep us from being the fullness of ourselves or the fullness of our expression and the fullness of our experience.

Francesca Gentille: Let's say I'm looking at my partner and I'm being... with a critical eye. So I'm thinking there's something wrong with their body. Are you saying that, probably that comes from looking at myself with a critical eye and not having a sense of compassion or ability to see my own beauty? Is that what you are pointing to?

Sunyata Satchitananda: Exactly. All of these things that we have, that are judgments that are strong distinctions that we carry come from some places. Somewhere along the line we've made a decision that this is good or bad, or this is beautiful or not beautiful and it usually comes from something that has happened where we are accepting a distinction like for instance a wounding or a trauma. There's fear involved in it. So we create a judgment or a distinction to protect ourselves. To protect our egos, sense of who we are. So what... but those distinctions and judgments end up weighing us down and limiting pour experience of ourselves and others .

Francesca Gentille: Could you give me an example like something that you noticed even in your own life. You used to think one way and when you noticed that when you thought that way it was very hard for yourself to be connected to others and then how you shifted it. That'd be so great.

Sunyata Satchitananda: (Laughs) Okay. Let's see. We'll I've had transformation in a lot of areas in my life. From the physical sense, I used to be almost 300 pounds and I'm about 6'4” and now I'm down to about a 190 pounds. That process of transformation started with me first taking an interest in myself and caring for myself. The funny thing is I really started with my feet. I just.. my feet probably like most people, didn't pay much attention to them and they get cracked and rough and all those things. But I started just taking care of it. Taking care of myself and giving attention and as I did that my whole sense of who I was started to shift and I started taking care of my body in different ways. Started eating better and changing my diet and exercise and things like that. So it just magnifies and has a ripple effect of coming... of broadening out.

Francesca Gentille: So what I hear you saying is there is a journey that we can go on. When we feel like we are so critical of others that there actually might be a journey inside our own head and with our own bodies so I would find something in my body that I was willing to start taking care of and having a positive relationship with and that I would find that over time as I... whatever it was my feet, my neck my genitals, my nose whatever, my ears.. as I really connected to that , little by little I would feel more of a sense of compassion and connection with my own beauty, take care of myself better and really suddenly experience more of a sense of compassion and connection with other people around me.

Sunyata Satchitananda: Right. That's the process for sure. And it can be a physical process as I described or it can also be an emotional process. For instance.. I'm sorry I'm having trouble remembering specifics but If I'm upset with my mate and its something that I'm projecting where I'm saying that she's doing I've... what's really changed my life is to first look at myself and just ask why is that bothering me so much. What is it about this that..? Where does it come from and often I find that its my own distinction about myself in a similar area that is creating that. So I shift that in myself with just understanding acceptance and love and it ends up shifting everything else around me, especially with my mate.

Francesca Gentille: That sounds so incredible. Really magical. Probably impossible to some people that might be listening, possible to others. And I want to talk more about that and also how we are that sexual healer for our partners. So many of us come from [challenging] backgrounds. After a break and a word from our fabulous sponsors. And we'll be back in just a few minutes.

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Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex Tantra and Kamasutra, bringing you the soul of sex. And we are with Sunyata who is a Daka, a sexual healer, an erotic body worker and a fine art photographer. Author of “Unveiling the Goddess – Visions of Divine Beauty” We are talking about that journey of helping ourselves and one another to feel beautiful and being that healer for one another. You just mentioned that shifting our own perspective inside starts to shift the world outside. What else is there to do when we want to be the sexual healer. We want to be that contributive force. Our beloved may be afraid of sex or disconnected from their sexual passion, may be has difficulties with orgasm or erection, may be has had some kind of trauma, emotional, sexual to physical in their past. We love them. How can we contribute positively to their journey. Not just get mad at them and take it personally that we are not connecting fully as we'd wish?

Sunyata Satchitananda: That's a wonderful question. Really, I suggest to my client that its a process of coming together in a completely different way than their usually sexual engagement. So its a place to create a container, an agreement between each other that for this time we'll be opening up to allowing healing to occur. And allowing each one to be there for the other. It [need] not be about what's in it for me. So the whole dynamic is shifted and each one is there to be present and what I call holding space for the other to allow anything to occur, anything to come up. Many times to be ... for sexual healing to happen there's emotional releases that occur and there might be some anger in that or there might be some charged emotions that are releasing and it might feel a little scary may be. But just to hold the space and to be [present]. Everything is okay and the love you feel for your partner will hold that and will allow for that and without reacting without trying to stop anything or fix anything just to be present and to allow that process to occur is very, very healing and freeing to let these things pass through us and to release.

Francesca Gentille: Thank you. I was going to ask how that looked and also it sounds so challenging. Is this an opportunity for people to work with a Daka or an erotic guide because, often I find that with couples, they are already depleted. So here they haven't been having sex, they haven't been having intimacy in the [form] that they'd wish. The partner that is desiring more connection and [aroused] can feel so put upon. “Oh my God, I have to do more. I have to reach out more. Now I have to hold space without getting angry when they are just sucking all my energy.” And the partner that is [xx] may also be a little scared, a little tentative, will may be demanded upon and will may be manipulated? Is that partner really going to hold space? So I have a concern, we are saying try this at home and at the same time with a warning that if people are too depleted, then may be they need to be in the presence of a professional. What do you think?

Sunyata Satchitananda: Almost definitely. Exactly the way that you put it. If there is enough challenge in the relationship already then a professional is best to be sought and have sessions with and from that specific guidance can be given on their unique circumstances on how to progress and it might take a series of sessions. Its much better that way. For couples who are experiencing some rough patches but things are generally manageable and workable and in love – in space of love – then that's what I encourage them to identify with, the love that they are feeling and the things that they see in each other that are drawing them to each other, that are the attraction, that are the places where they meet. And draw from that experience in terms of giving to your partner. Even if its feels may be a little challenging, due to may be some unsettledness or some disquieting or some discomfort in the relationship, so in that circumstance where there is a common ground or where there is something to draw from then you can be present for your beloved and allow that process to happen in giving to him or her. And then the reciprocal will happen as well, I recommend not at the same session so that it can just really be about the receiver and just the impact of that session can be felt and there's no confusion or overlapping with the other person's experience. But to do that I recommend that the couple set up a time specifically for healing – sexual healing – and that someone be chosen as the giver and someone as the receiver and then the way that, that session would unfold would be to just very slowly and easily start to engage with each other. May be start with some eye gazing. Looking deeply into each others eyes and then may be progress to some light touch and caressing and just expressing your love for this person and letting her feel and just envelope her body and then may be progress to a very juicy sensual massage that will relax the body and also enliven the erotic energy that really what is the force - healing force - that gets the energy that's stuck in there to move and to release so just to go through that process and just be very conscious and slow and not making about anything. There's no goals or anything that has to happen, no agendas. Its just being present and allowing what wants to come up to come up.

Francesca Gentille: Once they come up, its that emotions. Whatever emotions are there, not taking it personally, if your partner is angry, if they are tired, if they are scared, if I'm the giver and you are the receiver its just in [honor of you] and I know that whatever comes up, whatever rises in you emotionally is something that's probably been in there for a long time and I'm there to release it. So it doesn't need to be between us in our relationship.

Sunyata Satchitananda: Exactly., And just to know, exactly what you said that don't take it personal. Its not about you, even if its aimed at you, know that releasing of it is what's important and that.. by doing that, by letting that emotional release it will actually enhance the relationship and just having that experience with your beloved someone's actually giving you the space and this time and this attention for this to happen is so enriching. Its so amazing, it draws the couple closer together to know that they are supported this way. So it has a profound effect on this relationship.

Francesca Gentille: I want to talk more about this and what is a sensual massage? How we bring that juicy and conscious touch after a break and a word form our sponsors. We'll be right back.

(Musical Interlude & Advertisement from PersonalLifeMedia.com)

Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex Tantra and Kamasutra, bringing you the soul of sex. We are with Sunyata and he is leading us and guiding us into embodied beauty and sensual touch. Sunyata can you tell us a little bit more about what is sensual touch? How can I make sure that I'm being conscious and sensual in the way that I touch my partner.

Sunyata Satchitananda: There's a big difference between giving touch and taking touch. I think if you sit with that for a second you can get the feel for what that is. Its for [needy], if its about us touch tends to be taking. Its what we are wanting from the person before us. If its giving touch, it tends to be totally the opposite and that's the touch we want to use which is transmitting our love to a partner. I recommend that in doing this people first of all slow way, way down. And breathe. And if you can imagine that with ever out breathe your are sending love from your heart down your arms through your hands to your partner, you are transmitting this love to them and you are bringing this love energy everywhere you are touching their body. Just do that in a very slow manner and in a way where the touch that you are actually using is as if you are seeing with your fingers.

Francesca Gentille: Um. I love that.

Sunyata Satchitananda: Yeah. You are feeling their body but its as if you are seeing their body with your fingers for the first time. And you are discovering all the curves and the places the body bends and goes and just that slow conscious touch is very sensuous and feels very, very good. And of course including the [erection] zones and the touch, not in a touch where its a solicitude touch to make somebody sexually aroused, that's certainly part of it, but just in a touch where its very conscious and may be for the firs time, you are caressing her [yummy], her genitals very... in a slow way. You are discovering as you are going and you are just taking your time and just letting it be in the moment exactly what it is. Without agenda, without a goal to do anything.

Francesca Gentille: Hmmm. So this sense of just being slow.. appreciating and I'm hearing that there's a difference between appreciating and taking so there can be a sense of awe, sense of being moved, a sense of I can feel a sense of arousal, if I'm lightly or slowing pressing my beloved's body and noticing his muscles, and his sinews and his curves and yet that's very different if I'm just in a sense almost grabbing the body or manipulating the body in some way so that I can just get off.

Sunyata Satchitananda: Exactly. Its about the eye gazing with your partner, keeping that eye contact while you are doing that, really enhances the intimacy and the transmission of the love that you are feeling and remembering that its a one way giving. Its not about expecting anything back in return. Its just giving your love to your partner, physically, emotionally, with your presence, with your sight, with your gaze, all of those things.

Francesca Gentille: You know there's a paradox, where when I can let go of my [gender] when I can release for the moment my own greedy, needy nature that I absolutely have and just gift to my partner with a full heart of love, really in most cases I'm going to get back so much may be not right in that session with my beloved, but the next day or that night or later they are going to feel so much more love connection and arousal towards me...

Sunyata Satchitananda: ... and you are allowing to be cleared the things that are in the way of the two of you having that deep intimacy and connection. Yes.

Francesca Gentille: And don't we all have those things, especially when we live with someone, when we argue about the children or the garbage or each of us feels that well may be we are doing more than the other or we might have issues that we bring from past relationships where you look so much like my ex- when you say that. Or you look so much like my mother, father when you say that. And what I'm hearing is that these sessions, these slow set aside sessions where its either totally your turn or totally my turn, in those times finally my body can release, my heart can release and any of those angers, those fantasies those fear that have been in those former relationship in time can come forward and get cleared.

Sunyata Satchitananda: Exactly.

Francesca Gentille: That is so gorgeous. And I just want to thank you for joining us and for being someone who has committed to this path. Being a contribution of healing to men and women and couples and doing so in that beautiful book that you have, that just really invites and inspires us to see the body as beautiful and understand that its divine. And how would people get a hold of you or get the book or have sessions with you – how would they do that?

Sunyata Satchitananda: Well thank you so much for inviting my on this show. My website is www.mythiclove.net/sunyata s-u-n-y-a-t-a. That will take you to my website and there are links to my book and information about sessions with me and yes I'm available for all of that.

Francesca Gentille: (Laughs) and I want to thank you and our listening audience for being on this journey with us, for also being those people, those souls that are committed to being a contribution to love and the sacred and the soul of sex on the planet. If you want to get more information about Sunyata, about the show, contact either one of us, read the transcript, contact me and my services and a coach and as a healer you can do that at www.personallifemedia.com. That's www.personallifemedia.com.. Thank you for listening to Sex Tantra and Kamasutra, bringing you the soul of sex.

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