Episode 9 - Hot Cocoa

Hot Cocoa

Announcer: This program brought to you by PersonaLifeMedia.com is suitable for mature audiences only, and may contain explicit sexual information.

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Marcie Prohofsky:  My name is Marcie Prohofsky and welcome to “ATaste of Sex:  Erotic Poetry Readings”.  One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco is a place of freedom.  It’s where people come together to explore their desires on a physical level, on an emotional level, on just a raw, raw, raw sensation level.  We don’t just write it, we live it.  And we’re here on “A Taste of Sex:  Erotic Poetry Readings” to tell you all about it.  So stay tuned in because we’re gonna turn you on.

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Yia:  She moves down to my breast and takes in my left nipple and sucks, and licks.  I bathe in silky, soft, hot cocoa. 

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Marcie Prohofsky:  And now we have Yia, two pieces.  The first – one piece is called “Dance” and the second piece is called “Hot Cocoa”. 

[background laughter] 

Yia:  Thank you.  Ok.

These are short and sweet.  Ok.  “Dance”.

She pulls me up, and wraps her arms around me like a playful child, and spins me around.  We laugh at the absurdity of it, but continue the play.  She snakes her head into the nape of my neck, rubbing back and forth, and pretends to pant heavily, laughing at the same time.  I absorb her warmth into my body and receive her energy.  I’m pleasantly shocked by her playfulness and found myself holding onto it, because I know that it doesn’t come out often.  I feel like a child standing in the sidelines, waiting for the captain to pick me on her team, and when she does I savor the bliss of being wanted and special. 

[background murmuring}

[laughter]

She picks me up again, and spins me around laughing.  I follow suit and rub my head against her neck, and rub my hands along her back, mocking her in a dance.  Our bodies float in and out of each other, molding together in a wave.  The flesh of her cheeks and the brightness of her eyes swims into my heart.  It reminds me of a crisp, sunny day in the meadows of France. 

[applause]

I love you Marissa!

[laughter]

This next piece is called “Hot Cocoa”. 

“What do you wanna do?”  She asks.  “I wanna kiss you” We move towards each other, her wide brown eyes peer into mine.  Our lips touch slowly, soft, wet.  Her thin upper lips, her thin upper lip snakes in between my full lips in a wet, moist kiss, silk softness with confidence, and a hint of cool, calm, strong exterior.  She slips in and out like hot cocoa waves, and I drink in her warmth, her taste.  My body jitters and rumbles, hesitant, and too hungry to take in too much.  So we nibble and suck and bite.  She moves down to my breast, and takes in my left nipple, and sucks, and licks.  I bathe in silky, soft, hot cocoa. 

Thank you.

[applause]

Marcie Prohofsky:  Bob has a piece he is reading called “She is Beautiful Today”. 

Bob:  So I started a piece about my iPhone …

[laughter]

…but she’s a bit of a tease, or maybe it’s AT&T.  There’s one button I can play with.  It’s very satisfying, but I’m waiting to consummate the relationship before I write that piece.  Ok.

She’s beautiful today.  I look over and I see that she’s beautiful, I know that she’s beautiful, but somehow I can’t take it all the way in.  It doesn’t penetrate my skin it only glides along the surface.  Does she want me?  What would be the price if I wanted her, if I allowed myself to desire her deeply, fully, completely?  Her hair falls down her shoulder, and I – I feel it touch her skin.  My skin knows what it’s like.  She’s sensual, desirable, and still I’m numb to her.  I mean, what the fuck?  Am I an idiot?  I mean, look at those lips and eyes.  Notice the curve of her back.  Why aren’t I grabbing her or talking to her?  Why am I some weepy, nervous thing when yesterday, yesterday I was a butterfly, so smooth and lovable?  These woman, they’re strange creatures.  They don’t think like me.  Thank God, they don’t walk like me, or heaven forbid, talk like me.  They draw me in like brightly colored objects do to birds; I think it is.  But in some way they are forever on the opposite side of a pane of glass for me.  And I peck, peck, peck away hoping they’ll notice me.  A pane of glass, that about covers it.  But then she does notice me, and suddenly it’s deer in the headlights  “Oh my God, how can I get away?”  I mean I don’t want to get away. I want to be caught, but what if I am caught, what then?  I mean, will she possess me, own me, drop my genitals in a box and forget about me?  Then she touches me, a light brush of skin.  My hand, now in the small of her back, touching firm muscle through flimsy cloth.  And I drop in, I feel her, smell her, I can almost taste her.  I’m home.  I’m back in my body.  My hands know how to move, not too much or too little, just enough to pull from her and yield to her.  This isn’t something I understand. 

[applause]

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Marcie Prohofsky:  Ok, moving on to Alutha.  Piece called “Surrender to a Woman for the First Time”

Alutha:  Surrender.  So I surrendered to a woman last night.  The fact it was Baby was no surprise.  That I would surrender to anyone, let alone a woman, was unexpected.  This last week, I was at the end of my rope, chafing, turning, continually reconnecting, then contracting and collapsing, clearly, logically, on some kind of last legs.  When she came to me at the end of the taboo course, full of fear, anger, and a desire to connect, I saw that which I hungered for.  Her still alive desire to connect with me deeply.  I closed the space physically, all my uncertainties, except one, still swirling and defying me.  I was reconnecting to Baby from an impossibly fragile place.  But my desire for connection with her was greater than all my fears.  A tentative truce was established.  After the erotic mike event, there was music and dancing.  Somehow, Rachel found me, quizzed me, and then asked me to dance, impossibly, just when one of two songs I could not say no to began playing.  What were the odds?  I danced slowly, haltingly, at first, then as I opened up, I heard, felt, Baby’s delight and turn on as she saw me dancing, her favorite mode of communion.  At dance’s end, I moved to Baby.  We connected and danced at last, our bodies taking long sips of each other’s limbic systems.  She had plans to fuck one of the other participants.  I went up to journal.  Later, unexpectedly, she came up.  She was going to be in our bed again.  Her remaining fuck would have to be rescheduled.  She was now here, with me, in a profoundly altered state, and I waited on pins and needles, wanting connection, terrified of being too needy.  My contractions were coming every few minutes.  Then, haltingly, I told her what was going on for me.  I opened, shared my fears and concerns, the real ones and the silly ones, and she came in.  She came in.  She told me that the only way I could have her completely was to open completely.  The rest is a blur to my frontal cortex.  I know we made love.  She pulled sounds from me, guttural groans and whispered roars.  What I know is she told me how Nick told her that, warrior-to-warrior, the war is over.  She told me how she surrendered for the first time in her life over this weekend in a simple exercise led by Cleo DuBois.  And I got energetically the depth and the profundity of her surrender.  And as she went into sharing more of her experience, her face shifted.  The light coalesced around it and she became more solid, more defined.  She talked about desiring to surrender too, to everyone, to everything.  It wasn’t from a place of abandonment, or unconsciousness, or collapse.  And I could feel the torrent of energy running through her.  She was clear and tapped into something deep, and in that moment, something, for me, unfathomable, in those moments I saw her in her function loosed.  That function that she was designed for.  This was who she was.  Then she told me that she wanted me to surrender to her fully, completely.  I considered it, and my body, to my surprise, said, “Yes.  I can trust this woman completely.”  And then somehow what had been a general conversation became a specific one.  She asked me to surrender right now, in the moment, not at some hypothetical time in some vague future.  Right now, surrender all my desires, my fears, my rage, my thoughts, my vulnerabilities, my dreams to her, to a woman.  And I did.  It wasn’t a fluttering decision.  I didn’t collapse or abandon myself.  Limbicly, I recognized the invitation, and I said yes with my totality.  There were a couple of energetic shifts, and then I remember surfacing from our embrace, and noting aloud with casual wonder, “We’ve merged!”  My maps are useless in this place.  All my frontal cortex tools are useless.  She will continue her sexual expansion; take other lovers.  I’ve asked to watch on occasion.  I have surrendered to another human being, to her.  I have surrendered twice before in my life.  In the first instance, I created my life’s purpose.  In the second occasion, I surrendered four hours before my unexpected, initial opening with Baby.  I was astonished to find my desire for her over the past month has grown larger than my desire to fulfill my purpose, a blatant no no.  Yet there it was.  The old demons are still there.  But they pale in comparison to this, this void, this chasm of wind and soul.  I am surrendered. 

[applause]

Marcie Prohofsky:  So what are the odds, huh?  We plan lots of things around here.  It’s kind of like when your in the – you get in the flow of moving this amount of energy and opening to the flow of sensuality, all sorts of magical things.  “Oh I need to talk to so and so.”  And then they walk in the door.  And they haven’t been in here all day.  I mean little things like that happen all the time, so I am not surprised that Rachel was there, and invited him to dance, and now he’s declaring how he surrenders, and he making out with his girl, the sidelines.  This is sort of a – every single time we have erotic open mike.  I think that’s – we should just film them, [laughter] the make-out, Alutha and Baby. 

So you’ve had a full experience, huh.  Now you believe we don’t just write it, we live it.  I want to thank you for tuning in.  This radio show’s been brought to you by One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco and Personal Life Media.  To contact us, please send us an email at [email protected].  You can also find out more information by going to personallifemedia.com or check us out at onetastsf.com.  Thanks so much.  Thanks for staying tuned in, and thanks most of all for staying turned on.

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