Episode 67: “How Am I THAT?”

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“Difficult and unpleasant as it may be to accept, we often feel most hostile to those who remind us of aspects of ourselves that we prefer not to see. “Ask someone to give a description of the personality type which he finds most despicable, most unbearable and hateful, and most impossible to get along with,” writes Edward Whitmont, “and he will produce a description of his own repressed characteristics….These very qualities are so unacceptable to him precisely because they represent his own repressed side; only that which we cannot accept within ourselves do we find impossible to live with in others.” Think for a moment of someone you actively dislike. What quality in that person do you find most objectionable? Now ask yourself, “How am I that?” ~ Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz from The Power of Full Engagement

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“How Am I THAT?”

“Difficult and unpleasant as it may be to accept, we often feel most hostile to those who remind us of aspects of ourselves that we prefer not to see. “Ask someone to give a description of the personality type which he finds most despicable, most unbearable and hateful, and most impossible to get along with,” writes Edward Whitmont, “and he will produce a description of his own repressed characteristics….These very qualities are so unacceptable to him precisely because they represent his own repressed side; only that which we cannot accept within ourselves do we find impossible to live with in others.” Think for a moment of someone you actively dislike. What quality in that person do you find most objectionable? Now ask yourself, “How am I that?” ~ Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz from The Power of Full Engagement

No space here to get into shadows, projections, etc., but this is a GREAT exercise. The next time you’re “shadow boxing” with someone and you’re REALLY getting frustrated, ask yourself what it is, precisely, that you find so annoying in the other person. Then ask yourself, “How am *I* THAT??” (Cuz, whether you like it or not, you are. :)

Brian Johnson,

Chief Philosopher