The New Man: Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp
The New Man Podcast has a new home. Visit The New Man Podcast now at: TheNewManPodcast.com
Introducing The New Man: Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp. The New Man Podcast is a 30 minute, interview-style show that’s an entertaining and often humorous way to get real world, practical info on every area of a man’s life. The New Man is where men turn to talk about what really matters.
So, who listens to The New Man?
Guys who want to:
-- attract the right woman without playing “Pick Up Artist” games or seduction tricks
-- have an exciting sex life and learn how to navigate the sticky world of relationships
-- break out of their confining job and do what they love
-- quit settling for less, find their purpose and live a passionate life-- get a handle on fear and stop letting their emotions get in the way
-- develop the best physical, mental and emotional practices
-- live a life with brains, heart and balls
"Through The New Man Podcast we've learned that relationships improve, careers improve and general well being improves dramatically for those men who are willing to be honest with themselves and quit settling for less than their potential. And the exploration makes for a fun and entertaining listen, too," says New Man host, Tripp Lanier.
The New Man
A Sample of The New Man Guests:
- Jayson Gaddis
- Siona Van Dijk
- Derek Sivers
- Reuvain Bacal
- Brian Johnson
- Kendra Cunov
- Joel Harper
- Alyson Schwabe
- Christiane Pelmas
- Clay Collins
- King Mott
- Brent Kessel
- Sean Stephenson
- Vernon Reid
- Sera Beak
- Yeah Dave Romanelli
- Ray Brejcha
- Jeremy Geffen MD
- Stuart Davis
- Brian Johnson
- Steve Pavlina
- Decker Cunov
- Shawn Phillips
- Jun Po Denis Kelly
- Marcus Buckingham
- Casey Capshaw
- Guy Sengstock
- Wolfgang Bloch
- Ken Wilber
- Ed Fell
- Robert Augustus Masters
- Byron Ricks
- Bill Harris
- Kute Blackson
- Dr. Sandor Gardos
- Bryan Bayer
- Garrison Cohen
Current Podcast Episodes – Always Free!
Episode 83: What is a Men's Group and Why Should You Care?
Are you one of those guys who -- deep down -- is wondering, “What in the hell am I doing with my life?”
When you get in the weeds, do you tend to isolate like a wounded animal?
And how likely are you to really follow through on all of those goals?
This week Revolutionary Man, Jayson Gaddis and I dive into a solution for any guy who has ever felt stuck, isolated and unable to follow through. We’re talking about men’s groups.
We’re excited to tell you about the benefits of participating in a men’s group as well as a killer new offer from http://www.mensgroup101.com/thenewman
In this episode:
- What is a men’s group?
- What is it not?
- Why should you care?
- How would you know if a men’s group could benefit you?
- How are most guys screwing up?
- How are some guys like walking tea kettles?
- What does this have to do with a fear of failure?
- How do truly successful guys utilize the power of others?
- What’s available at http://www.mensgroup101.com/thenewman
Episode 82: Siona Van Dijk - How to Use an Online Dating Site
Are you one of the millions of men who are looking to find that special someone?
Are you quietly using or considering an online dating website?
And if so, how is your online profile already screwing up your chance to meet Mrs Right?
This week, Siona Van Dijk from the online dating site, Gaia Soulmates is here to help you avoid looking like a tool while making the most of your online dating efforts.
So many men (and women) are screwing up their chances for finding a partner just by falling into a few potholes in their profile. In this show, Siona Van Dijk walks us through some of these danger zones and helps you get the most of your online dating experience.
In this episode:
- How do you get the most out an online dating site?
- Is there a stigma around online dating?
- How are dating sites different from Facebook and other community sites?
- How are guys screwing up their profiles?
- How is your profile perceived by your potential partner?
- How long should you plan to be on an online dating site?
- How can you create a unique and authentic profile?
- How to move the online interaction into a face to face date?
- How many dates should you go on?
- What’s more important -- shared values or shared interests?
- Where online can you find women with depth and consciousness?
- Visit http://soulmates.gaia.com/
Episode 81: Derek Sivers - Capitalism with Heart and The Tao of Business
Are you one of those guys who seems to get paralyzed in the process of starting something new?
Do you think you need a bunch of training or preparation before you can take action?
And what is the one single practice that will change how you experience everything in your life?
This week, we’ve got Derek Sivers on the show to talk about The Tao of Business and how any situation in your life can become a positive one.
In this day and age of corrupt capitalists, CDBaby founder Derek Sivers shows us how you can build a multimillion dollar company just by focusing on helping others. In this episode, Derek reveals the Tao of Business and how just trying to make money usually delivers the opposite.
In this show:
- What is the Tao of Business and how can it help you even if you don’t own a business?
- Do you need an MBA or a bunch of training to run a business?
- How can learning too much be harmful?
- How does personal development influence how you earn a living?
- What is the practice Derek uses to turn *everything* into a positive experience?
- If you’re prone to take things seriously, how can you learn to be more playful and creative with your life?
- What’s the simplest way to build a solid business in a very short period of time?
- How did the Segway inventor screw up royally and what can you learn from this?
- Visit Derek Sivers online: http://sivers.org
Episode 80: Reuvain Bacal - How to Handle a Breakup or Loss
How do you handle a breakup or the loss of something big in your life?
Do you “man up” and act like nothing’s wrong, go numb or collapse into a pitiful pity party?
And how can you keep this loss from festering and infecting your future relationships?
This week we’re talking about breakups and loss. Listen in as Reuvain Bacal and I lay out some options to help you get through the tough times and come out a stronger man.
This is an extra special episode. We’ve had tons of requests to dive into this topic so we spent the extra time delivering even more helpful information that you can use today.
In this episode:
- Why do men have a tendency to isolate when they struggle?
- Should a guy just “get back on the horse” or “spend some time alone”?
- How can a bad breakup infect future interactions with women?
- Why do we idealize our partner after they’re gone?
- How does stress from the breakup or loss ravage your body?
- Why is acting like a tough guy actually a sign of weakness?
- How to avoid collapsing into your own self pity?
- How do you work with intense emotions and confusion?
- What can you do to help the recovery process move along quicker?
- When is it okay to get back into dating?
- How can breakups be a catalyst for getting your life on track?
- When is it time to get professional help?
Episode 79: Brian Johnson - How to Wire Your Brain for Success and Positivity Part 2
What is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment?
What habit is the quickest ticket to a depressing life?
And how can you become an optimist without being full of shit?
This is part two of our talk on positive psychology with Philosophers Notes creator, Brian Johnson. Join us as we lay out the fundamentals to having a fulfilling life.
In this episode:
- What drains you?
- What depletes you?
- What’s the difference between pleasure and enjoyment?
- Bill Harris, “Thresholds of the Mind” & Holosync
- What are the fundamentals to living a satisfying life?
- Why is a gratitude journal huge?
- Quit your bitching!
- Are you proactive or do you play the victim?
- What is the quickest ticket to depression?
- What is a practical optimist?
- How does a pessimist view the world?
- How to be more optimistic?
Episode 78: Brian Johnson - How to Wire Your Brain for Success and Positivity Pt 1
What is the real reason you work so hard to have security, friends, sex, status and, hell, anything?
Do you have a job, a career or a calling?
And what are the simple steps you can follow to ensure that you have a life full of satisfaction and fulfillment?
Sound like a cream-dream? Well, philosopher and entreprenuerial badass, Brian Johnson is back on The New Man to talk about what the emerging field of Positive Psychology can do for you.
In this episode:
- What is Positive Psychology?
- Why does it matter to you?
- Martin Seligman, “Authentic Happiness”
- Abraham Maslow
- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “Flow”
- What is the science of happiness, true well-being and flourishing?
- Happiness is the end game -- beyond material possessions, spirituality, relationships, sex
- What are your unique strengths?
- Find your signature strengths at http://www.authentichappiness.com
- How do you find out what you love?
- Do you have a job, a career or a calling?
- Marci Shimoff, “Happy for No Reason”
- Maslow, “What one CAN be, one MUST be.”
- How do you create flow in your life?
Episode 77: Kendra Cunov - What is Polyamory and How do Open Relationships Work?
Is polyamory just a fancy word for sleeping around when you’re in a committed relationship?
Do all open relationships end in a self absorbed, sex-crazed disaster?
And what can you learn from the mother of a newborn who stayed home last night while her husband was on a date?
This week, Kendra Cunov is on The New Man to discuss her experience with polyamory and open relationships.
Kendra is the mother of a newborn and also the wife in an open marriage. In this episode she talks about her extensive experience with polyamory and open relationships. You will not want to miss this interview.
In this episode:
- What is Polyamory?
- Open relationships
- Open marriage and pregnancy
- How to be parents and be in an open marriage
- Not just for about the sex
- Does wanting an open relationship mean something is wrong with your current relationship?
- The number 1 pitfall of open relationships
- What about jealousy?
- Is having an open relationship a lot of work?
- Why do open relationships fail?
- What needs to be in place before a couple would try an open relationship?
Episode 76: Joel Harper - No more excuses! Do you DESERVE to be in amazing shape?
What’s your excuse for not being in shape? Is it not enough time or money to go to the gym?
How is staying fit like brushing your teeth?
And what can you do when your partner and you are just not on the same page when it comes to fitness?
This week, big time and big city personal trainer, Joel Harper is on the show to tell you everything you need to know to get off your ass and stay in shape.
Joel Harper is a long-time certified personal trainer in New York City. He trains everyone from celebrities to Olympic Medalists and his training philosophies have been captured in the New York Times best-selling books YOU: THE OWNER'S MANUAL, YOU: ON A DIET, YOU: STAYING YOUNG and YOU: BEING BEAUTIFUL with Dr. Mehmet Oz.
Joel's workouts have been featured in multiple publications and TV programs, from Esquire to Oprah Magazine, all because his simple yet effective, no machines, no barbells exercises get results.
In this episode, Joel delivers a ton of information that will eliminate any excuses you may have created. Time, money, equipment -- it doesn’t matter. He also lays out some fundamentals for working out, how to deal with your partner when you’re not on the same fitness page and confronting any possibility that you may not believe you deserve to be in great shape.
In this show:
- Joel’s Workouts: No equipment necessary, short amount of time
- The 4 Key Factors to Effective Workouts
- Stretching -- when/how to get most benefits
- Why is it easier for certain guys to stay in shape than others?
- Why do you workout? To look better or to be stronger?
- What about the guy that doesn’t have time to workout?
- What to do if you’re feeling pain
- What happens if you and your partner are out of sync when it comes to fitness?
- Do you deserve to be in amazing shape? In a great relationship? In a great job?
- So much conflicting information on fitness and nutrition: What are the facts?
- What’s one thing you can do to feel more fit and strong today?
- Where to find Joel’s workouts online for free
Episode 75: Bryan Bayer - Sexual Hang Ups and How to Overcome Them
Bryan Bayer -- Sexual Hang Ups and How to Overcome Them
Are you one of those guys who gets all squirmy when the topic of sex comes up?
What are your beliefs around sex? Is it dirty and bad? Or fun and nourishing?
And how does your relationship TO sex affect EVERYTHING in your life -- especially your interactions with women?
This week Bryan Bayer is here to talk about how all of us have hang ups with fornication and what you can do to today to have a better sex life.
In this episode:
- What are the blocks that come up for guys around sex?
- All of us have some hang ups or hooks around sex
- Not owning desire has us making small talk, talking bullshit
- Your relationship to sex is communicated LOUDLY outside of the bedroom
- Women can feel where you’re hung up on sex
- How can some guys “get away with” talking explicit about sex with women?
- If you’re not comfortable with yourself as a primal, sexual being it will show up in many areas of your life
- It affects guys in relationships too
- Are you bringing your raw masculine attraction to the bedroom?
- Guys can be in touch with their raw masculine but at the same time objectifying their partner
- Guys can be in a connected space with their partner but lacking a true passionate ground
- Sex with heart, raw/primal energy is an ideal
- Macho Jerk is all about the cock, raw/primal energy but no heart
- New Age Wimp is all about the heart connection but lacks his primal/raw energy
- Growing up with guilt/shame around sex
- Physical blocks
- Protecting your balls
- Pay attention to where you hold tension in your body
- Breathing fully can impact sexual polarity
- Emotional blocks
- Belief structures
- “Sex is...” fill in the blank
- Find your unconscious beliefs around sex
- Interpersonal blocks -- Relationship blocks
- Sex is suffering because relationship is suffering
- Punishing our partner or vice versa
- Not feeling safe with our partner or vice versa
- Resonance vs polarity
- David Deida -- masculine and feminine
- Polarity and intensity come from not doing everything together
- The importance of the Man-cave
- Quality of time vs quantity of time with your partner
- Emotional hang ups
- Fear of sex
- Performance anxiety
- Notice where you hold tension, how full is your breathing
- Take a look at your belief structures around sex
- Notice where you’re holding back emotions
- If you’re holding back in your relationship, start being more straight forward
- If you feel that the relationship is losing its zing, be willing to spend less time together in service of creating more passion and polarity
- Authentic Sexual Power -- DVDs and CDs
- Very explicit and informative
- For more information on the Authentic Sexual Power DVD Set visit:
Episode 74: Pt 2 How to Navigate a Woman's Emotional Minefield
When you’re woman freaks out, do you buckle or try to make it all go away?
Do you prefer a passionate woman or a stepford wife robot?
And does your woman really support you or does it seem like she’s just another obstacle getting in the way of the life you want to have?
Alyson Schwabe and Christiane Pelmas are back for part 2 of our talk on how to navigate a woman’s emotional mine field.
This is part 2 of our in depth talk on how to approach tough topics with your woman. In this one, we learn a BIG lesson around how to deal with a woman’s “emotional storm”, how saying “yes, dear” is killing her respect for you and other tips for avoiding those big traps men often fall into.
For information regarding The Red Pill Weekend visit http://www.tripplanier.com/redpill
In this episode:
- Don’t be afraid of your woman’s storm
- How to go through something hard and come out okay
- Why am I in this relationship?
- Life with a woman is about storm
- Storming is about being passionate
- Do you want a passionate woman or a stepford wife robot?
- Storming is to test a man, to see if he’s trustable
- The storm does not mean something is wrong
- Do not buckle to the storm
- If you buckle, she will take over your role in the relationship or look for some way to fill it
- It’s not about winning a fight or dominating the scenario
- She’s entitled to her response and it has virtually nothing to do with you
- Don’t take on her feelings
- And don’t defensively posture
- Stay curious
- We want to know that in our relationships, we can say anything
- Most common belief: I’m the only one that has to deal with this
- Don’t try to do it alone
- Get help with big problem areas -- find a therapist, coach or counselor
- Trust that your relationship can stand the test and actually grow
- Look at your partner as a team member, not as your opponent
Episode 73: Pt 1 How to Navigate a Woman's Emotional Minefield
Are you scared to bring up certain topics because you don’t want to cause a shitstorm with your girl?
Do you resent your partner for saying what you can and can not do?
And how is it possible that by avoiding conflict, you’re actually killing the relationship?
This week, Alyson Schwabe and Christiane Pelmas are on the show to talk about how to navigate a woman’s emotional minefield and approach taboo subjects or those conversations you’ve been avoiding.
In this episode we talk about addressing taboo and touchy topics with your woman. Whether it’s money, going on a weekend trip with the fellas or having anal sex to spice things up in the bedroom -- navigating a woman’s emotional storm depends on YOU being confident in what you want and speaking that clearly. Alyson and Christiane lay out some amazingly valuable tips from a woman’s perspective to help you have a more satisfying relationship.
For information regarding The Red Pill Weekend visit http://www.tripplanier.com/redpill
- “If I could just talk to her about this, things would be better...”
- Fear that even speaking about stuff will set off a fight
- Can’t talk about sex, money, health issues
- How to discuss taboos
- Speaking your desire is the biggest topic
- Many people struggling being straight up with what they want in relationship
- It’s a dealbreaker that things can’t even be discussed
- We imagine how our partners will respond -- not based in reality
- Dating women with kids from a previous marriage
- It’s not okay to speak your truth
- Quit assuming you know what your partner is going to say or do
- Joking “around” the subject doesn’t help you -- it hurts you
- It’s not the topic that she’s rejecting, it’s how you’re approaching it
- Not owning your desire has you come off as creepy, untrustworthy
- If she can’t trust how you’re speaking about something, she can’t trust how you may do it
- Fallacy: “You’re responsible for my being satisfied”
- Drill down and get clear about why you desire this
- Make it right for having this in your life
- Don’t let your shame stuff it for you
- Don’t make it that she’s not okay with it
- Deep down, are you okay with it?
- If you’re scared or timid -- be straight with that, bring that to the conversation
- The danger of cutting off or not owning your desire
- Cutting off what you want makes you less trustworthy
- She may not like the content but she’ll trust you more
- You have a choice in every situation -- you just may not like the options
- What’s more important to you? To live a lie or to in integrity
- Being in relationship with a whole person
Episode 72: Clay Collins - How to Follow Your Purpose AND Pay the Bills
Clay Collins - How to Follow Your Purpose AND Pay the Bills
Do you feel stuck in a job but don’t think you could possibly survive as a your own boss?
Are you thinking, “If I follow my passion the money will just come!”
And is it really possible to connect your life purpose to the way you earn a living?
This week, Clay Collins is on the show to talk about how YOU can live your mission AND pay the bills.
So many guys make the sickening choice between following what they truly love and sticking with a job just to pay the bills. It’s a tragic “either/or” scenario. Clay Collins has made it his mission to teach men how to build their own business online so that they can care for their families and live a life in alignment with their deeper purpose.
Clay brings up a strong point that in our today’s culture where men lack a valid initiation into manhood, owning your own business will serve that purpose.
We’ll also talk about the myth of “If I follow my passion the money will just come”, the danger of Job-ification and what you can do today to bring your life into alignment without having to live on the street.
Be sure to visit http://www.projectmojavesite.com/newman
In this episode:
- The Mission of Project Mojave
- Quit your job, escape cubicle hell
- Living into your full potential
- Hoping a job will provide a sense of meaning/purpose
- Hoping more education will provide meaning/purpose
- There is no job that will “do it all” for you
- Feeling like a f**k up
- Stumbling in the workforce
- Feeding your family while following your purpose
- Guys are hesitant to take financial risks when they have a family
- Do you follow your vision or do you feed your family?
- Internet Marketing and Inner Game
- What is a Freedom Business?
- Helping people earn a living on the internet within three months
- To free up time for personal growth, family, etc.
- Freedom Business is a stepping stone to your Mission Business
- Designed to work quickly and without much startup money
- Information Products
- We want a guarantee of success
- We want the nuts and bolts of what to do
- Testing your business idea
- The Myth of: Do what you love and the money will follow
- Being driven by opportunity
- The need for a purpose in what you do
- Being driven by what you love
- How your Freedom Business serves your Mission
- What is Job-ification?
- How to keep from hating what you do
- Lack of itinitation rites for men in our culture and becoming a man through business
- Running a business will make you grow up
- Mission Mindmap, Statement and Journal
- Working on yourself is working on your business
- “What is my purpose in life?”
- “What do I need to do today so I can fall asleep tonight in peace knowing I have given everything?”
Episode 71: Guy Sengstock Pt 2 - Are you trying to get something from the world?
Are you spending your day trying to GET money, ass or attention?
Do you accumulate things in order to feel better about yourself?
And how could you earn a living by helping others transform their lives for the better?
This week, Guy Sengstock is back for part 2 of our talk on finding your purpose and mission in life.
We’re back with Guy Sengstock in our exploration of how to find your purpose or mission in life. In this episode, Guy shares his own personal story of revealing his passion and gifts.
We also make some powerful distinctions around how men use the world as a place to GET SOMETHING -- money, sex, attention, validation, etc. The flip side is seeing the world as a place to EXPRESS SOMETHING -- namely your talents and abilities to provide value or positively impact others.
Guy also walks us through a preview of his year long transformational coaching program. This is a great offering to consider if you’re looking to make some major changes in your life AND develop some skills to earn a living by helping others.
For more information on this year long transformational coaching visit:
Or contact Guy Sengstock at (415) 290-8385 or firstname.lastname@example.org
For more information on what Circling is:
In this episode:
- How Guy found his purpose by following his heart
- Going to art school in San Francisco
- How Circling came to be
- Being gifted at something
- Feeling more alive giving the gift
- Following where he felt most alive
- Following his deepest desire
- The difficulty of speaking your purpose/mission
- How you make your money, the people you hang out with
- The importance of having other men in your life
- The need for feedback from others
- Humans are the only creatures who can lie to ourselves
- The Narcissus Myth
- Falling in love with the reflection
- Agonizing over a yearning for the reflection
- You already are what you’ve been searching for
- You’ve found your purpose when it’s not outside of you “to get”
- A BMW or Confidence
- We want things because of the experience we think they will provide
- What is an expression of your confidence?
- Are you trying to get something from the world?
- Or are you trying to express something in the world?
- Look at what you’re currently doing in life
- Why am I really doing this?
- Start to be brutally honest with yourself
- What does that get you?
- Did you choose this?
- If no, what would you choose?
- Coaching, therapy, men’s groups
- David Deida
- Your death bed
- Guy’s year long coaching program
- How to be fully yourself
- Creating transformational moments
- Year long transformational crucible
Episode 70: Guy Sengstock - How do you find your purpose or mission?
Is your job a place to just make money or is it something you deeply love?
Do you ever find yourself at work wondering, “What in the hell am I doing?”
And -- be honest -- why are you living the life you’re living? Is it a reflection of what you deeply desire or has it just happened?
This week Guy Sengstock returns to The New Man Podcast to talk about how to find your purpose in life.
Guy Sengstock (coach, Arete Creator and Co-Owner of Authentic SF) joins us to talk about how to find your purpose or mission in life. Guy’s purpose (and career) is basically to help others find their purpose; so who better to have in the hot seat?
We discuss how men get caught up in the WHAT of their lives -- the emails, the to do list, the accomplishments. And yet we have a deeper connection to WHY we do them. This leaves us feeling drained and burdened instead of alive and energized.
Join us as we fumble f--k our way through an exploration of this critical process in a man’s life.
For more information on Guy’s year long transformational coaching training visit:
Or contact Guy Sengstock at (415) 290-8385 or email@example.com
For more information on what Circling is:
In this episode:
- The Circling Process
- Finding your mission
- Helping others find their purpose
- Trying to find your purpose kinda screws it up
- The danger of not listening to yourself
- Living under the ultimate male-illusion
- “If you work hard enough one day it’ll be over”
- David Deida
- Striving to feel release, bliss
- Finding the answer means finding freedom
- Men are lost in the content of our lives
- To Do Lists, Jobs, Details, the Grindstone
- Getting lost in emails
- How do you feel after your work?
- Purpose equals context
- Purpose is why you’re doing what you’re do
- Purpose is not the accomplishment
- Year Long Coaching Program
- When work becomes a burden
- The difference between work and living your purpose
- Why are you doing what you do?
- What do you really want?
- What is my desire?
- Separating your voice from the voices of others
- Parents, Friends, Society
- Having the balls to ask these questions
- You always have a “why” for the things in life
- Is it your “why”?
- Your current life supports you to stay where you are
- Feeling drained or burdened indicates you’re not living your purpose
- Start to get honest with yourself
- Be willing to admit that you don’t know what is driving you
- What gives your actions meaning?
- Start with what is your purpose right now?
- Are you living someone else’s life?
- Doing what your told?
- Defying what your told?
- Everything I do is something I’ve consciously do from the heart
- Discovering your prison cell is elating
- You’re not locked in your prison cell
- The beginning of choice
- You can only make choices for things that you’re aware of
- There’s more possible
- Continuously waking up
- Not a utopia
- Is your “why” a chosen why?
Episode 69: King Mott - How Can a Gay Man Help Your Monogamous Sex Life?
Are you one of those guys who confuses homosexuality with pedophilia?
How are gay men similar to straight men?
And what can you learn from a gay man about improving the sex in your monogamous relationship?
This week Associate Professor King Mott is on the show to discuss taking on the Roman Catholic Church and what to do about you married guys that are cruising for ass away from home.
This week King Mott joins us on The New Man. He’s an Associate Professor of Political Science and Gender Studies at Seton Hall University and recently went head to head with the Roman Church over their scapegoating of homosexuals in the pedophilia cases that plagued the institution.
King also discusses what it’s like to be a gay man in America, how gays (generally) see the world much differently than straight men, what it’s like to be a gay man doing men’s work and how gay men are way ahead in the realm of having sexually satisfying monogamous relationships.
In this episode:
- Roman Catholic Church
- Equating pedophiles and homosexuals
- Homosexuality within the Roman Church
- The New York Times
- Standing up to the Roman Church
- Prejudice against homosexual, lesbian community
- Perpetuating Homophobia
- Pedophilia has nothing to do with sexual orientation
- Seton Hall and it’s administration
- The importance of controversial ideas
- Roman church aiding pedophiles
- Scapegoating gay men
- The straight while male establishment
- Ideas are changing towards LGBT
- Homophobia is another form of misogyny
- White straight men are not at fault
- Living in a patriarchal society
- Fear of anything different
- The importance of personal experience
- Irony of sex in American culture
- Mixed messages in our culture with regards to sex
- Sex is private
- Trying to legislate sexual morality
- Being a “fag” in the locker room
- Younger generations are more tolerant
- Most of us know someone who is gay
- Most gay men are not safe in parts of this country
- How are gay and straight men similar?
- Gay people see the world differently
- Gay ghettos -- Chelsea, the Castro -- crime rates are low
- The danger of stereotyping
- Straight alpha males
- How gays interact - power differentials
- Gays and women being outside of the power differential
- Gays and men’s work
- The Mankind Project
- Straight men and same sex experiences
- Being in one’s power
- Seeking truth in a safe way
- Father issues
- Waiting to see if it’s safe to come out of the closet
- Gays as social chameleons
- Trust is built and earned
- What gay men and straight men can teach each other
- Straight men and the struggle with monogamy
- Gay men and emotional monogamy vs sexual monogamy
- You don’t have to expect “everything” out of just one person
- What happens after prince charming meets his princess?
- The trap of “finding the one”
- Marriages that are emotionally and sexually dead
- Talk with your wife that you’re feeling stuck in the marriage
- She may be feeling stuck, too
- Divorces, satisfying marriages
- CLAG -- Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies
Episode 68: Brent Kessel - It's Not About the Money
Brent Kessel -- It’s Not About the Money
Author/Financial Planner/Yogi Brent Kessel joins us to discuss the inner demons and voices we ALL carry with regards to money. First off, money is not the root of all evil -- it’s our grasping and clinging for it. From this place, Kessel helps us figure out what our unconscious processes are that keep us “stuck” financially.
Do you and your partner struggle to see eye to eye with your finances? By diving into the different money archetypes, you’ll see the possible solutions for finding harmony with the family finances.
Brent’s book, “It’s Not About the Money” is a solid guide for mastering the inner game of money and helping you find true well being.
In this episode:
- Yoga, Meditation and Money
- Blending finances with spirituality
- Leaving a meaningful legacy
- Life changes in India
- Psychology and Finances
- Abacus Portfolios
- Why finances/money such a loaded topic for people
- Fear for Survival
- Your financial worst case scenario
- Fears that we face have less power than the ones we don’t
- It’s Not About the Money
- Happiness and fear usually unrelated to how much money you have
- It’s about you, your relationship to fear and money
- A four year old runs your financial life
- If I just had more I would be happy
- Fulfillment and well being
- Believing advertising
- Comparing ourselves to others
- Prioritize well being
- Why the disconnect between reality and our thoughts?
- The mind makes a problem out of life
- What is running the mental treadmill?
- Nothing wrong with money
- Dalai Lama on money
- Money is not evil
- Grasping, clinging creates the problem
- “If I have that then I’ll be happy”
- We Get What We Think We Deserve
- Subconscious mind, nervous system and money
- Lottery winners, NFL Players and bankruptcy
- Core story with money
- Eight Financial Achetypes
- The Guardian
- The Pleasure Seeker
- The Innocent
- The Idealist
- The Caretaker
- The Star
- The Empire Builder
- The Saver
- Balance is better than being imbalanced
- How to save your marriage with money problems
- We attract the achetype that we most need to develop
- What is your money mask?
- Secrecy keeps us trapped in our money woes
Episode 67: Sean Stephenson -- Get Off Your “But” and Live Large
Sean Stephenson -- Get Off Your “But” and Live Large
In these “tough times” Sean Stephenson is here to show us how to cut the crap and move forward. Sean avoided a death sentence at birth, multitudes of surgeries and physical setbacks to live an amazing life as a therapist, author and speaker -- impacting people around the world.
In one particular story, Sean tells us how his mother asked him if he was going to use his situation as a gift or a burden. Heavy stuff for a fourth grade kid. Sean is here to remind us how to lose the excuses and victim-mentality that keep us playing small.
The only thing holding you back is yourself. Listen on if you want to grow.
In this episode:
- Interpreting the challenges in life
- Reality Show on A&E “Three Foot Giant”
- Your “victim story” is the biggest thing holding you back
- Fairness is an illusion
- Your responsibility to live is a vicTOR vs a vicTIM
- Your mentality creates your reality
- Living your dreams makes some people nervous
- Is this going to be a gift or a burden in your life?
- Nobody has it easy
- Maintain and upgrade your beliefs
- How your community keeps you where you are
- Surround yourself with solid people
- The “Sean-tourage”
- You are like your friends
- Character traits of those around you
- How do we choose our friends?
- If something is meant to be, you can take it slow
- Tolerating crappy relationships
- Book -- “Get Off Your But”
- Go for long term pleasure which is fulfilling
- Finding your purpose is sexy
- What do I need to do today to be living my purpose?
- Where are you most happy & fulfilled?
- We are more scared of success than failure
- Being challenged about how much you want it
- Rule with a velvet hammer
- How challenging yourself physically strengthens you mentally
- What was the worst day of your life?
- Learn from others’ experiences
- The boundary of your problem
- Face your fear
- When you do things that are courageous you gain confidence
Episode 66: Tripp Lanier pt 2 - You Can't #$@* it Up and You Can't Get it Right
Tripp Lanier pt 2 -- You can’t #$%* it up and you can’t get it right
We rejoin the discussion with Tripp Lanier as he shares a powerful story about an exchange with Zen Master Jun Po Roshi. Ray and Tripp talk about the dangers of becoming a “wound worshipper”, how your wariness makes others wary of you and how your secrets ultimately own you. Also, listen as the benefits of getting real with your fears and the transformation of sharing them with others is revealed.
In episode 2:
- The gift of being smacked with a stick
- A valuable lesson from Jun Po
- Living a paradox
- “You can’t fuck it up and you can’t get it right”
- Working so hard to get it right and not screw it up
- Play full out and have fun with the screw ups
- Sacred Laughter
- Learning to recognize when you feel less whole
- What gets in the way of your potential
- Shadow work mixed with meditation
- Waiting to open up until you trust someone
- Wariness begets wariness
- Trying to protect yourself actually pushes people away
- Being less approachable, intimidating
- Pushing away people that actually want to help
- Becoming a retreat, seminar or workshop junkie
- How to melt shame
- Terminal uniqueness
- Making things less significant without being dismissive
- Don’t be a wound worshipper
- Your secrets kill you -- get them “out there”
- It’s not that bad when you put it out there
- Having your friends help you see what is driving you
- What are you scared of? What are you defending yourself against?
- Notice what you’re avoiding
- Can you be playful with that?
- Tell someone what you’re scared of
- Being more trustworthy
- The energy drain of “keeping it all together”
- Where the juice, depth and meaning in life is for you
Episode 65: Tripp Lanier - The Dangers of "Not Enough"
Tripp Lanier -- The Dangers of “Not Enough”
In this episode, the tables are turned and New Man host, Tripp Lanier is the one being interviewed. He recently stepped into a deeper level of practice, and guest interviewer Ray Brejcha prods and pokes to find out what is going on.
Tripp talks about his recent experiences, including The Mankind Project’s New Warrior Training Adventure as well as a 7-day Hollow Bones Zen Meditation retreat. The discussion touches on life transitions, stepping into the unknown, and honoring your potential as a man. It also focuses on the deeper issues that lead to living a satisfied life when so much of our inner wiring is saying “not enough”.
In episode 1:
- Why Tripp hosts the show
- Life Transition
- Letting go of identities
- Living with a boat anchor tied to the leg
- Five years of darkness
- Honoring your potential
- Stepping into uncertainty
- How to trust uncertainty
- Walking out on to an icy lake
- Feeling challenged by life and loving it
- Following the feeling of being alive
- Mankind Project New Warrior Training
- Hollow Bones Zen Retreat
- Resistance to mythopoetic men’s work
- Iron John by Robert Bly
- Jun Po Roshi
- Goenka Vipassana
- Part of me may die
- Noticing where you’re guarded
- Being less open
- Being defensive
- Boundaries vs Resistance or a Wall
- Not being able to receive compliments or gratitude
- “Don’t beat your own drum”
- Missing out on receiving love and appreciation
- Hitting the wall
- Fear of never being satisfied
- Not enough -- No matter what I do it won’t be enough
- Not able to celebrate success
- Wanting to feel more secure in the face of the unknown
- Meditation -- the part of you that can’t be taken away or destroyed
- Cultivating a sense within that is secure
- Will I still be ok?
- Confronting the hard realities of life and still being ok
- The Tao
- Soul exfoliation -- peeling off layers
- Getting cooked
- Sitting in resistance
Episode 64: Vernon Reid - Open Your Mind to What Matters
Vernon Reid - Opening Your Mind to What Matters
Not many guitarists come close to having Vernon Reid’s resume:
- Grammy Winner
- Platinum Selling Artist
- Complete badass virtuoso in jazz, funk, r&b, metal, punk, etc.
- Shared the stage and studio with Carlos Santana, The Rolling Stones, Public Enemy, etc.
He’s a chameleon, but how does he escape categorization or the limiting beliefs that restrain so many people? Where does he find “the juice”? And how is playing with the Stones just as exciting as having his lost wallet returned?
Listen to this lively discussion where Vernon discusses having an open mind, finding your own voice, using mortality as inspiration and finding the "wild" moments in your everyday life.
In this episode:
- Avoiding categorization -- being put into a box
- Keeping the focus on what you love
- Marching to the beat of your own drum
- Anthrax vs Burt Bacharach
- Music is about diving into the human experience
- Unique expression of “their moment”
- Learning how to listen to music
- Listen without judging
- James Brown
- The Beatles
- The Rolling Stones
- Dave Clark 5
- Sly Stone
- Jimi Hendrix
- Carlos Santana
- Frank Zappa
- Music that black people listen to vs what white people listen to
- Disclipline and practicing
- At first playing was awful, frustrating
- Little breakthroughs lead to big breakthroughs
- Learning how to be with frustration
- As a father seeing disclipline in younger generations
- Instant gratification vs hard work
- Trying to remove risk from the equation of life
- “Inside of your struggle is your sound”
- Comfort and convenience can take away from your voice
- Avoiding and distracting ourselves from mortality
- Using mortality and frustration to live the moment
- People want to avoid what sucks
- Shortcuts mean no individuality
- Great people all struggled
- Finding your voice without fixing it or perfecting it
- Jeff Beck shows us how to be ourselves
- The Edge from U2
- Henry Rollins hates U2
- Johnny Marr, The Smiths “How Soon is Now”
- Walter Becker from Steely Dan
- Having your own sound/voice is more important than technique
- Realizing your own voice
- Ronald Shannon Jackson
- Fusion -- Jazz and Rock
- Carlos Santana, John McLaughlin & Robert Fripp (King Crimson)
- The Decoding Society
- The Who “I hope I die before I get old”
- Older men still in “the young man’s” game of rock
- The importance of living in the moment and projecting yourself into the future
- Being fascinated with young people - prettiest, sexual peak
- The only constant is change vs The more the things change, the more they stay the same
- Science Fiction and his fascination with gear
- Forbidden Planet & The Day the Earth Stood Still
- Where’s my Jet Pack?
- The future was supposed to be dope
- I want my hovering skateboard
- The sexual culture is buckwild
- How does life measure up to your dreams?
- Having his wallet returned just as big as playing with The Rolling Stones
- Hearing his daughter read
- The “little stuff” is massive
- It’s about the wild moments
- We’re bored with life
- Elephants are bad motherfuckers
- We overlook the familiar
- The quotidian things mean a lot
- Mortality makes us live more
- Being inspired by the people in our lives
- The overemphasis of being results oriented
- The danger of losing “the journey”
- All the girls you ever slept with are going to pass away
- We’re only here for a little while
- George Carlin
- The planet is going to be fine
- Really taste this moment in life
- A last time for everything
- Your last orgasm
Episode 63: Sera Beak - Bust Out of the Cultural BS and Follow Your Own Path
Sera Beak -- Bust Out of the Cultural BS and Follow Your Own Path
Spiritual Cowgirl and author Sera Beak joins us on the New Man Podcast to discuss what it means to be Red-volutionary. She’s the author of “The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark”.
In this episode we talk about how spirituality can be a bit stuffy or pretentious. Sera drives home the point that it’s about following your true passions and interests. Being “spiritual” isn’t about following some set of rules -- it’s about fiercely being yourself.
And that takes guts.
If you’re NOT interested in the whole “spiritual” scene, this discussion may light you up. We talk about rebellion, sex, thigh high boots, great food and a few of the things the Bible warned us about.
In this episode:
- The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark
- The Spiritual Cowgirl
- Unorthodox approach to spirituality
- Being your self is the essence of being spiritual
- Pretentious Spiritual Types
- Sera Beak is Satan
- Disturbing the Buddhists
- Don’t be provocative just for the sake of being provocative
- Provoke with compassion
- Be your authentic self
- Reclaiming spirituality from those who have made it boring
- Brazilian bikini waxed prayers
- Trying to fit into external expectations of what is spiritual
- How to get real and present
- Inside out spirituality vs cookie-cutter spirituality
- Living from a larger place is a turn on to others
- Where do men base their value? If it’s from the inside it is sexy
- Doesn’t have to be esoteric or woo-woo
- Why is it so hard to answer the question, “who am I?”
- Cultural expectations, rules and cues
- Not necessary to read a ton of books or go to workshops
- Stop following the crowd unconsciously
- Standing out from the crowd
- Social resistance doesn’t mean it’s wrong
- How giving birth is painful but not wrong
- Growing and learning to be yourself can be uncomfortable
- Discern what pain means you’re going down the wrong road and what pain is part of the process of growing
- How are we different from other cultures?
- Becoming who we are is the natural human condition
- Westerners are lucky
- Privilege of being able to pursue spirituality in life
- Make the most of the privilege
- What is “red”?
- Spiritual Super-heroines
- Sex toys, good wine and gold body glitter
- Green vs Red
- Humping Trees vs Hugging Trees
- Making love to all existence
- Fist-f##ked by Mother Nature
- Where to men fit in?
- Masculine and Feminine doesn’t necessarily mean Male or Female
- Being more passionate, playful and authentic
- Fierce love knows no gender
- Bringing the feminine back to spiritual practice
- What is sexy?
- The danger “spiritual” ways of being
- The Devil Wears Crocs
- Thigh High Boots
- What the hell is “red” for me?
- Sera’s Offerings
Episode 62: Sandor Gardos - Take a Stand for Your Sexual Needs
Sandor Gardos -- Take a Stand for Your Sexual Needs
This is part 2 of our talk with Dr. Sandor Gardos. In this episode he continues to lay out some simple distinctions and the practices you can do TODAY to quit settling for a crappy sex life without killing your marriage.
In this show:
- Women’s arousal pattern is different than men’s
- Why she doesn’t initiate sex
- Get over the myth of reciprocity in sex
- Women want to feel deeply desired by their partner
- Not just deeply desiring to “get off” with her
- Make the passion about her, not just about “getting off”
- What if you no longer desire your partner?
- Don’t be afraid to get outside help -- qualified sex therapist
- Go to a sex therapist vs “regular” psychologist
- Don’t overdo “closeness”
- Avoiding conflict, being the peacemaker
- Non-violent communication
- Balancing domesticity with sexual passion
- Don’t get neutered
- Harmony can reduce passion
- What are you doing to remove the spark from your relationship?
- Where’s my desire in this moment? Own it.
- Vulnerability means speaking what you wants
- Vulnerability is taking risks
- Take your woman “on a ride”
- Do something where you don’t know how she’s going to respond
- When and how to talk to her if this stuff isn’t working
- Accept that you have different styles -- doesn’t mean you’re wrong
- Remove the blame and shame
- Why women have sex
- What if she doesn’t care about sex?
- Your sexual needs matter -- don’t cut it off
- Keep it simple and stick to the basics
- MyPleasure.com -- products and education
Episode 61: Sandor Gardos - Get Your Sex Life Off of Life Support
Sandor Gardos -- Get Your Sex Life Off of Life Support
What’s the deal with this myth that marriage is the death to your sex life? Does it have to be this way? Do you have to spend the rest of your days sneaking around with porn or affairs to get your sexual needs met?
In this episode, Dr. Sandor Gardos returns to The New Man to lay out some very simple things you can do to get the sexual juices flowing in your committed relationship.
In this show:
- Oprah’s Vah-J-J
- Vibrator called “The Sure Thing”
- The Aphrodite
- Oprah makes it ok to use sex toys
- It’s now mainstream to take an active role in making sex lives better
- Myth: Sex life is over after marriage
- Chris Rock
- Married life = death of sex
- Repressing sexual desire
- Turning to porn
- Having affairs
- What can this guy do?
- Not a myth that sex changes in marriage
- Being passive won’t make it better
- Probably not as bad as you think it is
- Desire discrepancy
- Most common thing sex therapists deal with in couples
- Polarizing sex
- Couples are closer to sexual desires than perception
- Taking it personally that she doesn’t want to have sex
- Perceived rejection
- Coping mechanisms
- Shutting off desire -- clamping it off
- Not being alive as a man when cutting off sexual desire
- Trying to “keep the peace” doesn’t serve the relationship
- Resentment is almost irreversible
- Avoiding anger actually builds resentment
- What a guy can do to turn this around
- Simple techniques
- Change the dynamic
- It’s not always that the guy wants all the sex
- For half of couples, the woman wants more sex
- Non-goal oriented sensuality
- Keep her guessing
- Sex is no longer about ejaculation
- Neediness is not attractive
- Build arousal and passion
- Getting out of the sexual routine
- Routine is the enemy of passion
- Novelty is an aphrodisiac
- Small changes can have a big impact
Episode 60: Decker Cunov & Bryan Bayer -- AMP 2.0 Is Your Life on Autopilot?
Looking back, we can see how millions of small decisions made by thousands of people managed to put our economy in the toilet. It’s this disconnect or inability to see how our “small” actions impact not just ourselves but the rest as a whole.
So how are the little decisions you make daily -- places where you’re just rolling along on autopilot -- creating a doomsday scenario for you?
Where are you asleep at the wheel? How would you know?
The guys and gals at AMP (Authentic Man Program) are here to talk about a new program that is less focused on relating with women and all about getting your entire life on the right track.
You won’t do it alone, but you just may have a blast.
In this episode we discuss:
- AMP -- No longer just focusing on relating with women
- Focusing on living an inspiring life
- Are you lit up by your life?
- This leads to great success with women
- It’s about living an amazing life as a whole
- Shitty economy as a motivator for living with more integrity
- Micro-breaks in integrity
- Just going with the flow
- Allowing things to just happen even if we’re not in alignment with them
- Shows us how important integrity is individually and collectively
- Little things add up and impact all of us
- What is the impact of my actions on other people?
- Being disconnected from the things that make a huge impact in our life
- Being on autopilot in your life
- Taking things for granted
- Being disconnected from our decisions means it is easier to be out of integrity
- Recognizing how our actions impact others
- Seeing where in our lives we’re “going through the motions”
- Helping people see where they’re sleepwalking
- Challenging each other, having fun, lighting a fire under our ass
- How do I know if I’m sleepwalking?
- Do the things I do nourish me?
- People around us can support us in our sleepwalking
- Getting more explicit about why you do what you do
- Getting clear about what you really care about
- Enjoying yourself more as part of the process
- Recognizing what is already amazing in your life
- If I’m really happy in my life I don’t need to buy a bunch of stuff
- Save money by being happier with what you already have
- Being needy means being out of relationship to what really matters to you
- Consumerism: Buying stuff to fill a hole in your life
- Using people to feel better about yourself
- Getting in touch with what is most important
- Waking up out of your own sleepwalking
- Relating with women as a metaphor for living your life
- Who is AMP 2.0 for?
- Back to basics: getting finances together, taking care of your body, improving your living situation
- Clearing out emotional, mental, relational leaks that drain you of energy
- Reclaiming energy instead of just trying to get by
- No man left behind, price is not a barrier to participate
- What are guys really challenged by, what do they want to learn?
- 7 week online course
- Kicking Tripp’s ass for fun
Episode 59: Yeah Dave Romanelli: The Power of Pleasure
“The Power of Pleasure”
If money can’t buy happiness then where do we find it? The answer is in life’s simple pleasures. It sounds like a cliche, but the truth is that we’ve trained ourselves to multitask and split our attention across many different arenas. The cost? We don’t take the time to truly experience and enjoy our day and it’s contents.
We’re so focused on finding relief in the future that we’re forgetting about the moment we’re living in -- now.
Our culture and its expanding arena of attention-grabbers like facebook and twitter make it more challenging to just have a glass of wine or a simple meal. For instance, we’re finding it increasingly necessary to eat AND read email AND watch TV.
According to “Yeah Dave” Romanelli, a former PR agent for Shaquille O’Neill we can create a short checklist of things to focus on throughout the day -- Humor, Something Delicious and the Beauty all around us. This will ultimately have a big, positive impact.
In this episode we discuss:
- Jeff Spicoli and Fast Times at Ridgemont High
- Technology Addiction
- Continuous Partial Attention
- Washington Post Experiment -- Joshua Bell, violinist in the subway
- How meditation is hard
- Getting kicked out of a meditation retreat
- Bad energy is worse than body odor
- The Likability Factor
- Laughter is the way to get the panties off of a girl
- Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead
- Creating spaciousness in your mind creates spaciousness in your life
Episode 58: Ray Brejcha: Building Attraction with Women
If a guy ever tells you he doesn’t get nervous when approaching a beautiful woman, he’s probably full of shit. Even the guys who teach this stuff get nervous.
Meet Ray Brejcha -- coach, speaker and workshop facilitator. He specializes in helping men create attraction and find deeper connections with women.
In this episode, Ray will talk about what’s possible by attending the Red Pill Weekend.
Topics in this episode:
- Creating Attraction
- Deeper Connections
- Being the nerd
- Being the guy who has it all but still feels empty
- How to get beyond small talk
- Concentrating on outer appearances to cover up insecurities
- Using women to fill a void
- Following a hunch instead of having it all figured out
- The importance of feedback from men and women
- The value of having solid men in your life
- Killing attraction -- being needy, wishy washy or being fearful of rejection
- Being clear with your desire
- How core beliefs sabotage you -- "I don’t deserve this," "I’m not enough," etc.
- How so many “successful” men have a difficult time with women
- Settling for less vs going for what you want
- How taking risks builds attraction
- What to expect at The Red Pill Weekend
Episode 57: Jeremy Geffen Part 2: Sometimes Losing it All is Just What the Doctor Ordered
Dr. Jeremy Geffen returns to discuss his incredible vision quest in the mountains of Columbia.
Are you lacking any motivation or direction beyond paying the bills?
Do you have any idea what MATTERS to you? How would you even find out what that is?
Listen to Jeremy talk about how this arduous ritual smacked him in the face with reality -- beyond paying the bills and being someone special.
You don’t have to wait to lose your job or your life in order to benefit from losing it all.
Episode 56: Jeremy Geffen: Vision Quest -- Discovering What Really Matters
Some would say that being a successful doctor or professional is a meaningful lifetime achievement. “If I could be that, I’d be set!” Well, what does it mean when one of the most successful oncologists in the world is struggling for life meaning and direction? What does HE do to get answers?
Instead of buying another Porsche, this doctor went to the mountains of Columbia to take part in a sacred, age-old ritual -- the vision quest. AFter strenuous preparations, he was “planted” on top of a mountain alone for four days and nights without food, water or shelter. He withstood torrential downpours and extreme conditions but he did not leave his post.
Why would a guy do this?
Listen to Dr. Jeremy Geffen, author of The Journey Through Cancer: Healing and Transforming the Whole Person talk about this amazingly difficult journey.
And ask yourself, “What would my life be like if I were willing to leave it all behind?”more.
Episode 55: Kute Blackson Pt 2: Quit the Blame Game and Step Up
Kute Blackson continues downloading his 6 Step Process for getting your life out of fear and into gear. In this series he describes the pitfalls guys get into when life trips them up -- analysis paralysis, the blame game -- and how you can move through them and into positive action.
It’s times like these that separate the men from the boys. What will you do?more.
Episode 54: Kute Blackson: Get Out of Fear and Into Gear
Life coach to the stars, Kute Blackson is back on The New Man, and he’s just in time. Many listeners are dealing with a ton of fear these days -- finances, career and the world in general all seem to be going to hell in a hand basket.
But what can YOU do about it, right now?
Kute walks us through a powerful 6 Step Process to cut the crap and make your life better -- regardless of the world outside.more.
Episode 53: Stuart Davis: Pt2 How to Pull Your Head Out of Your Ass
We’re back for Part 2 of our hilarious discussion with Stuart Davis -- rock star, buddhist monk and host of “Sex, God, Rock n Roll”.
In this episode we discuss:
- a good woman will challenge and support you to be a better man in every area of your life
- becoming a father can crush any grand ideas you have about who you think you are
- there is no such thing as an “un-spiritual” moment
- stepping into “the fire” of life and confronting your deepest fears
- the significance of being able to laugh at yourself
- how surrendering doesn’t mean defeat
- what happens when we resist our life
- the amazing new pill, “Alco-hard”
- the new TV show “Sex, God Rock n Roll”
Episode 52: Stuart Davis: Spirituality and Dick Jokes
In part 1 of our talk with Stuart Davis -- rock star, buddhist monk and host of “Sex, God, Rock n Roll” -- we hear how a “spiritual” guy can also be unapologetically rude and crude.
Stuart shares some hilarious stories about how he would rather be dead than conform to any means of authority -- family, religion, school, day jobs and women’s clothes included.
We also discuss:
- it’s easy to be a punk and point out society’s shortcomings -- it takes skill to offer something constructive
- his relentless pursuit of freedom has landed him in jail and almost killed him
- drummers aren’t complete idiots (some of them at least)
- how spirituality turned him into a self righteous asshole
- how life can be enjoyable after the sparkle and “rush” has passed
- what had him see the real meaning of his life
Episode 51: Brian Johnson: Pt2 Do You Have the Balls to Live the Life of Your Dreams?
Do you feel a moral obligation to live your greatest possible life?
If you are like us you are tired, and you have bills to pay...but is that all there is in store for us?
Brian Johnson won't stand for anything less that the greatest life possible for himself, and he wants to help us get there too.
In part two of our talk with Brian, we talk about his latest project, Philosophers Notes, and how to get inspired and make practical changes in our lives right now.
Listen as Brain tells us how we can learn to step up our game and stop living our lives half-assed.more.
Episode 50: Brian Johnson: What would you do if you weren't afraid?
Have you ever thrown up on your way to work, and not from too much fun the night before?
If you had all the money and all the time in the world what would you do?
Brain Johnson has found his answer, but things didn't always come together so clearly for him.
Over the years he has quit a promising job with a fortune 500, dropped out of law school, left a 5 year relationship, and walked away from a couple of businesses.
From these experiences he has learned a bit about the art of living, now he is sharing what he loves to do with the world.
Listen as Brian talks to us about how he went form literally puking in his car on the way to work, to living his dreams from an open-air office in Bali.more.
Episode 49: Steve Pavlina: What to do if You've Lost Your Job or Your Job is in Danger?
Times may be a bit lean right now but the truth is, this is a great opportunity.
Before you write us off as crazy, listen to what Steve Pavlina has to say about job loss, bankruptcy, and any of life's major challenges.
Personal development expert and massively popular blogger and author, Steve breaks it down for us in 3 easy steps:
Step 1: If you are not dead, this challenge will make you stronger.
Step 2: This is your opportunity to think about what you really want in life.
Step 3: Ask yourself what kind of goals inspire you right now.
If you move towards you inspiration fully, learn from your passion, and share it with the world, you can't fail according to Steve.
Listen as Steve puts it all in perspective and gives us some real advice on how to live our dreams.more.
Episode 48: Steve Pavlina: Playing it "safe" is like living in a locked box
Are you playing it safe, but feeling trapped in the life you have created for yourself?
How do you know when it's time to move on from a job, a relationship, or even the town you live in?
Steve Pavlina has some unique and profound suggestions to help us out with that. Tripp and Steve agree that often times the best strategy to victory in life's battles, "burn the boats behind us!"
In this weeks show Steve shares with us:
- What he means by "burning the ships behind us, but not the food and supplies"
- How a brief trip to jail re-framed his life and set him on the path to create the "best personal development website"
- Why the "safe" that protects us, can quickly become the "safe" that imprisons us.
- How his strategy for setting goals is different, and more effective than other mainstream approaches.
- What Steven Covey means by his insistence that we go for "win-win" or "no deal."
- Where courage comes from, why it is essential, and how to get more of it.
Listen as Steve takes us into his work of no-nonsense personal development and how our efforts to grow can bring us exactly what we want out of life.more.
Episode 47: Decker Cunov: Pt2 Choose Everything in Your Life
Are you being true to yourself, or are you just being a selfish prick?
Is there a way to know the difference?
This week we continue our conversation with Decker Cunov about consciously choosing the life you live.
Listen to learn:
- Where is the line between being selfish and being right with yourself?
- What happens when you actually allow you heart to be open?
- Why people don't want to feel how much they love each other.
- The truth that underneath the touch veneer, you actually give a shit.
Decker shares with us what is possible when we are really willing to be our true selves.more.
Episode 46: Decker Cunov: How to Learn to Trust Your Gut.
Do you have a feeling something needs to change in your life? Are you not exactly sure what it is?
This week we're talking with Decker Cunov, men's coach, Authentic Man Program leader and President of Authentic World about taking the first steps to getting more connected.
Decker points us to a world in which we get in touch with what is really going on in our bodies, with our emotions, and in turn, what is really happening in all of our relationships.
Join us as we talk with Decker Cunov about really feeling, and what it means to "trust your gut?"more.
Episode 45: Shawn Phillips: Getting Your A$$ Out of a Rut, And Into High Gear!
Are you driving your life, or is it driving you?
In part two of our latest talk with Shawn Phillips we discuss:
- How to live your life in "thirds" instead of halves.
- How to shift to the new "s-curve" for your life.
- Why there really is no reason for your belly to keep getting bigger.
- What is the alternative to the "mid-life crisis?"
- How to pick your peak season this year.
- Are you in touch with the joy in your life?
- The keys to reaching mastery
- The one thing you can do today to get on the path of strength.
Listen as Shawn Phillips helps us get on the path of strength, and get our lives back.more.
Episode 44: Shawn Phillips: The Body, Focus, and a Passionate Life
What are you tolerating in your life? What are you putting your time into? What are you saying no to?
Make 2009 the year you drop all the bullshit and truly focus on what is really important in your life. Shawn Phillips returns to The New Man and this show is all about focus.
So what is focus?
"It's not what is on your mind, it's what is not on your mind" says Shawn.
Shawn and Tripp get into the details around:
- The state of presence that arises when everything else drops away.
- How to know what you really want out of your efforts. If you don't know, you can't have focus.
- How increasing your focus by just 20% per day can increase your results exponentially.
- What is the difference between intensity and stress?
- Making life more expansive with focus.
Listen as Shawn Phillips coaches us into cultivating our intense focus and opening new doors in our lives.more.
Episode 43: Jun Po Denis Kelly: Did You See the Size of that Chicken?
Can you imagine not getting angry if someone was trying to steal your money? What about someone violating your daughter?
Jun Po Denis Kelly insists that there is no place for anger, no matter what happens.
The path of the modern-day warrior looks for what is true beneath our reactivity. In the case of anger, there is always something deeper.
What does all this have to do with a chicken?
Listen as Jun Po tells the story about the chicken and one simple step we can take today, to change the rest of our lives.more.
Episode 42: Jun Po Dennis Kelly: From Heroic Doses of LSD to the Spiritual Hero's Journey
How can a heroic dose of LSD lead to a dedication to spiritual practice. We'll according to Jun Po Dennis Kelly, that is the only way to go in order to find true freedom with true integrity.
Jun Po has spent his life committed to the truth, the deepest truth, and has the scars to prove it. In his psychedelic experimentation, he took extremely high dosages, much more intense than your average day-tripper. Living on the fringes of the law landed him on a "government sponsored vacation," in federal penitentiary. Yoga and Zen mastery helped him to focus his passion constructively. Recently, Stage 4 throat cancer took his body to the very edge of survival and back.
Jun Po's life on the edge has given him a serious gift for sharing the truth.
Listen as Jun Po Dennis Kelly shares his uncompromising journey to find out what lies beneath all the bullshit.
Episode 41: Marcus Buckingham: The Truth About You
Marcus Buckingham wants you to be the best you can possibly be. Not only that, he has a quick, effective program to help you get there.
Marcus has made a career out of studying high performance people from business to sports and reverse engineering their secrets for success. From this research he has learned some secrets to success that are in direct opposition to what we are taught growing up.
In our dialogue with Marcus, you will learn:
- How do we define strengths?
- Who is the best judge of your strength?
- What do you call something you are very good at, that you don't like to do?
- How do you make your strengths even stronger?
- You are born perfect, how are you going to contribute that to the world?
- How to create your "strong week" plan?
Listen as Marcus shows us how to amplify our strengths and make a real impression with our time here on Earth.
"It is your responsibility to offer your greatest, and longest lasting contribution to life." --Marcus Buckinghammore.
Episode 40: Tripp and Casey: The Best of Season 1
Will The New Man Podcast solve all your problems and make you rich and famous?
Maybe not, but judging from the feedback we're getting, it can seriously help.
The New Man Podcast just turned one. Over the course of our first year, we've interviewed dozens of teachers, leaders and successful men and women across all aspects of life about sex, parenting, professional life, and more.
Listen as Tripp and Casey look back over the first year of The New Man and reflect on what they personally learned and where the show is headed in the year to come. In our exploration of what a New Man might look like, we have uncovered key insights, patterns, and habits of highly effective men (and women) in the most important areas of our lives from career, to purpose, to sex and relationship and everything in between.
We love hearing from you about how the insights shared in these interviews are impacting your life. That's why we have created a new way to enjoy and share The New Man Podcast. Tripp and Casey handpicked the best of the best from this year and created a 6-disc CD set, a greatest hits of the first season and the perfect gift for the men in your life.
Episode 39: Guy Sengstock: Pt 2 - Jesus was not a Family Man
Why didn't Jesus or the Buddha have a family?
Does becoming a father mean your spiritual life is over?
This week we continue our conversation with Guy Sengstock about integrating spiritual development and a healthy family life. In this candid and open conversation, Guy gives us an inside look at where he finds the balance point of these two seemingly opposite pursuits in life.
Listen to the conclusion of our dialogue with Guy as he shares with us the challenges and benefits of practicing parenting and personal development.more.
Episode 38: Guy Sengstock: How to be a father without losing your f*****g mind.
Does the true spiritual journey require a life of monastic celibacy? Does having a family mean we can't pursue the deepest of truths?
When Guy Sengstock fell in love with his wife, he was putting himself through art school by working as a personal trainer and a stripper, while on a spiritual path of meditation and eastern philosophy. Not exactly the picture of the typical family man. He was also developing Arete workshops, dedicated to helping people grow and find deeper, more authentic versions of themselves.
So how do wife and kids fit in with meditation and personal development? Listen as Guy shares with us how he balances family life with spiritual life, and how he has found a way to complimentary balance it all.more.
Episode 37: Wolfgang Bloch: Finding the Passion in Life
Are you able to let mistakes you make become opportunities for something greater?
Wolfgang Bloch has always taken the unconventional path in life. Born in Ecuador, he followed his passion to California and into the arts and graphic design.
A surfer from the age of twelve, he was also cultivating a love of the water.
After a successful, but ultimately unrewarding career in commercial art, he broke free and eventually found his true passion...and learned to find art in life's imperfection.
Wolfgang tells us how "grunt work" can be seen as a "base" for our true expression and how to tell when it is just a dead end.
Wolfgang has gone on to become a renown fine artist in the surf world and beyond, creating mesmerizing surf vistas. He has just released a book showcasing his work and chronicling his journey.
Listen as Wolfgang describes his uncommon path and the values that helped him rise to the top of the surfing art world.more.
Episode 36: Ken Wilber: Integrating the Battle of the Sexes
The life of the New Man just got a whole lot more complicated.
This week we're talking with Ken Wilber, world-renown Integral philosopher about the evolution of men's and women's roles in our society. Ken shows us how our current disagreements over equality between the sexes actually stemmed from old school tools and "little things" like pregnancy.
Ken also talks about how we're all influenced greatly by not just technology but our personal beliefs and the pressures of society. His work is centered around showing how all of these forces impact us and one another. In other words, Ken shows us how all the pieces in this crazy life fit together and the end result is fascinating. You may never see your life the same way again.more.
Episode 35: Ed Fell: The Mankind Project
How much bullshit are you tolerating?
Are there things you wish you could do before you die, but are not getting around to them? Are you tolerating a life that you never thought you would have, feeling that there is no way to change things?
Ed Fell wants to help us out. As a longtime member of The Mankind Project, Ed points to the fact that men have no initiation ceremonies in American culture and often drift through life, unsure of themselves as a result.
We have heard several times on the New Man about the importance of initiation ceremony. The Mankind Project is dedicated to giving men a healthy initiation to manhood and giving us an experience of who we truly are and what it feels like to be our authentic selves. From that experience of initiation, The Mankind Project offers a close network of support and challenge, to help men live their lives to the fullest.
The last item on that "bucket list" might just be the journey inward, to really get to know ourselves.
We'd love to hear your feedback about The New Man and the PLM network. Please take a moment to <a href="http://survey.personallifemedia.com">fill out our survey.</a>
Episode 34: Authentic Man Program: The Power of Integrity
What the hell is integrity really? Why would it play an important role in our lives and our interactions with other men...and women?
This week we're talking again with our friends Bryan Bayer and Garrison Cohen of the Authentic Man Program, about their latest tools to help men achieve their true potential.
Listen as the fellas from AMP cover:
- How our being nice can be the barrier to our own greatness;
- How it is really our duty to express how we really feel, regardless of the outcome;
- The importance of owning our attraction;
- What we have to put on the line to evolve to the next level;
- Where to find the arena to play our highest game;
- Calling ourselves on our own bullshit;
- The latest multimedia products from AMP;
- How to put all of this theory in to real action.
Click Here to start discovering your potential with the Authentic Man Program.more.
Episode 33: Robert Masters: So What Do You Do With Your Anger?
Anger is an emotion, something we feel in our bodies very viscerally. What we do with our anger is another story entirely. Anger gets its bad name from anger expressed as aggression or violence.
In this episode, Robert examines this distinction and give us insights on how to work with our anger. We explore:
- Taking a relational approach to anger.
- How do breathing and eye contact change an argument?
- How unspoken emotions can affect relationships despite our holding them in.
- Where to start working with anger.
- The role of shame, guilt and sadness.
- Meditation as a tool.
Episode 32: Robert Masters: The World Needs More Anger
Why does the macho jerk seem to get the girl while the nice guy gets left behind? It might just have something to do with their relationship to anger.
This week we welcome Robert Augustus Masters back to The New Man and share his uncommon insights about the role of healthy anger in our lives. Robert gets into the juicy details about:
- How to separate anger from aggression
- What is the cost of ignoring your anger?
- Why does the world need more anger?(hint: more anger with less aggression)
- What is our moral fire
- Soft does not have to mean weak.
- What are you really pissed off about?
Episode 31: Byron Ricks: Searching for Dad
Barack Obama and John McCain have one thing in common, they both grew up with absent fathers. Byron Ricks details how important the father-son relationship is to growing boys, and how this may have affected who the candidates, and other men with absent fathers, have become in adulthood.
In this uncommon discussion we learn:
- What are the 9 side-effects of growing up fatherless.
- When do boys learn start to learn about sex?
- What it's like for a young boy who doesn't have a father in his life.
- The unique benefits of male-bonding.
- Boys innate desire to do 'one-better' than our dads.
- How a "surrogate" father can fill the role for absent fathers.
- How to rebuild self-respect, self-confidence, and a strong sense of identity.
Join us in learning about Byron Ricks mission to help men and boys facing the world when their fathers are not around.more.
Episode 30: Bill Harris - Who's Running the Show?
Bill Harris tells us that it is our own patterns, that we are not aware of, that has us running on auto-pilot making the same mistakes over and over again.
Listen as Bill Harris gives us the secret behind:
- Harmful core beliefs and our "evidence" to support these beliefs.
- Attracting the kind of women you really want.
- The power of awareness in terms of changing your life.
- What are you focusing on?
- How to build a business with intention.
- Finding opportunity within challenges.
- Centerpointe Research
Bill gives us insights on a novel approach to getting the results we want in life. Here's a hint guys, it's not about analysis or figuring things out.
Episode 29: Kute Blackson - What Are You Waiting For?
Is your life passing you by? Are you holding back, waiting for your best friend's funeral before you express how you really feel about them? Are you leaving things off the table...unsaid, undone, unattempted? Why?
Do it NOW!
This IS the game, there is no where else to go. This is your life, passing you by one day at a time. Are you living it to the fullest?
In Part 2 of our dialogue, Kute Blackson shakes us out of our slumber so we can really begin to live our lives.
"We think we are in a prison...but the door is open, walk through it!" exclaims Kute.
In this show we look into:
- What game are you buying into right now?
- What your resistance to things in your life really is.
- Where are you holding back?
- Why your girlfriend might be acting bitchy when you seem unsure of yourself.
- Where to look to find your deepest wisdom
Listen as Kute helps us realize the deepest truth about our lives and how we can truly live it each and every day.
Episode 28: Kute Blackson - Are You Ready To Die?
Are you ready to die?
Does some part of your life suck? Are you stuck because you don't have any other choice? Have you tried everything you can and you just can't change it.
Thats what Kute Blackson is telling us. Bullshit.
When we find ourselves in that miserable, stuck place, we are invariably wasting energy avoiding our truth and keeping ourselves muted because we are afraid to face the unknown.
"If you are feeling pain and dissatisfaction, that's your doorway, go through it and find who you really are", Kute insists.
It may be necessary to experience the death of "self" to live life.
What do you need to give to the world so that you can die complete?
Listen as Kute a Tripp take us into the darkness, searching for that light of freedom on the other side.more.
Episode 27: Sandor Gardos - Pt 2 Can Sex Become a Spiritual Practice?
In Part two of our discussion with Dr. sandor Gardos, we take a deeper look into everybody's favorite topic...sex.
Unfortunately, the sex life of most men is not where it could be. We're not talking about how to pick up women here, we're talking about something deeper. What is behind our sex drive and what is our sexual energy really?
Men tend to look at sexual energy as frustration, something to be fixed,,,and as soon as posible. Men train themselves at a young age to relive sexual energy as fast as possible, not cultivating and using sexual energy to invigorate our lives.
Women tend to see this sexual energy differently, even using different words to describe sexual feelings. Where men talk about "sexual frustration" women speak of the same pleasurable feelings as "juicy" or "alive."
Sandor encourages us to see this energy not as something to avoid, but something we should honor as our very life essence. He invites us to learn to be with strong energetic sensation and practice cultivating and holding sexual energy.
Why is Viagra the best selling drug in the country?
Often we can be very dissociated during sex, perhaps fantasizing about someone else or generally checking out altogether.
Most of us would rather take a pill than truly look inside ourselves to discover what may be getting in the way of our sexual desire.
Dr Gardos points out that most men don't know what is possible with orgasm because we don't know how to be with intense sexual energy.
At the highest levels, sex can become a pathway to deep spiritual states...a very direct route Dr Gardos says.
So where is the average guy to start on this path of sexual self-discovery. Dr. Gardos suggest finding community, whether locally or online and begining to take in and share information. This can be tough at first but there are resources out there for men willing to take a look. This is not another goal that has to be met or an achievement we need to reach, but an opportunity for us to know ourselves better and live more fully because of it.more.
Episode 26: Sandor Gardos - What is Killing Passion in Relationships?
This week's guest, Dr. Sandor Gardos lets us in on what he sees as the secrets to maintaining passionate relationships.
Knowing everything about one another, always maintaining equality, laying everything on the table...These may be good ways to maintain friendships, or business relationships, but when it comes to hot sex in relationship, these are the very things that may be draining passion.
The thing is, women want hot sex lives as much as we do. The things we do to try and strengthen our relationships can be the very things that will ultimately weaken our connection. Sandor hears from women all the time with fantasies every bit as raunchy as any man's he hears, and with a lot more detail. It seems men are generally less in touch with their actual desire than women are, despite popular perception to the contrary.
Not only does Dr. Gardos help us identify the problem areas, he describes what the path to erotic partnership can look like. Integrity, differentiation, variety &mdash these are keys we have learned from previous guests and seem to apply in all areas of our lives.
Listen as Dr. Sandor Gardos shares with us a piece of his vast wisdom on sexuality and relationship.more.
Episode 25: Rob McNamera Pt 2 Mind/Body Nutrition and Exercise
How much exercise is required to build strength and feel great? In part two of our conversation, Rob lays out a simple and straightforward plan to build high-performance strength. The good news: it's not Olympic level marathon training, Rob says we can do it in under 3 hours a week.
Rob highly recommends Shawn Phillips new book, Strength for Life as a great resource for getting started on a program like this.
Rob goes on to talk with us about Full Strength, a meal replacement product developed by Shawn Phillips that has been clinically shown to produce positive results in muscle building and fat and cholesterol reduction. A recent clinical study at the University of Oklahoma confirmed the wisdom that went into the production of Full Strength and documented surprisingly positive health benefits to the participants.
Listen as Rob gives rounds out our discussions on the role of Strength for The New Man.more.
Episode 24: Shawn Phillips Pt 2 Hitting the Wall vs. Balanced Recovery
Are you noticing instability in your life as you push closer to your limits of performance? Operating at "full-bore" may not be the best way to get where we want to go.
Shawn Phillips advises that for optimum performance, rest can be just as important as exertion. This applies to our physical bodies as well as our profession, our personal relationships and our purpose in life.
"Recovery is like the silence between the notes, that makes the music." Says Shawn.
For many of us, our lives are driven by our attachment to our goals. Shawn and Tripp also explore the possibility that there is a difference between commitment and attachment. Attachment is our dependence on an outcome. Commitment is our willingness to "play" regardless of the outcome. When we get too far into attachment we lose focus, lose our power, and lose our ability to remain present in the moment.
"I'm committed to the game without attachment to the outcome" Shawn says.
Listen as Tripp continues his dialogue with Shawn Phillips, Author and Human Performance expert.more.
Episode 23: Shawn Phillips: Health is Killing You!
Is settling for mere "health" actually sending you to an early grave? We all think health is something we should be happy with when we have or something to get back to when our health fails us.
Shawn Phillips will not settle for mere "health."
Shawn calls us to enter a life of Strength, a place where our abundant health can serve us in all aspects of our lives and allow us to put ourselves out there in the world.
We've all taken up a workout routine, trying to get "back in shape" because we think we should. Shawn invites us to get past the should's, and find our true strength, the source of our potential greatness.
From this place, the weight room becomes an expression of the abundance of our lives, and our bodies will show the results.
Listen to Shawn and Tripp talk about how to stop "doing fitness" and start being fit.more.
Episode 22: Rob McNamera: What is Strength?
Are you feeling at your best physically? Are you looking for that edge to keep you sharp at the workplace and help you handle the intensity of life's challenges? If you are like the average man, chances are you have not felt that great since you were in your teens. Not only is our poor physical condition slowing down our bodies, but its slowing down our minds as well.
This week we are talking with Rob McNamera about strength. Strength is the abundance of power. This abundance is true for our muscles as well as our brains, and affects our performance across the board. We can increase this abundance with regular strength training.
Listen as Rob breaks down the secrets of strength and shares with us the dire importance of taking care of our bodies.more.
Episode 21: The Seduction Community, Where to Go Next?
What do you do when you master the art of seduction?
After years of practice in the seduction community, Garrison still felt something was missing. He had become a pick-up artist, with no trouble meeting and dating women but the profound relationship still eluded him. In his continuing search he came upon a concept called "inner game" and the Authentic Man Program.
Listen as he shares with us what he found to be the ultimate practice to deepen his relationships with women and give him what he was looking for all along.more.
Episode 20: A Reformed Pick-up Artist
Are you wanting to meet more women and have more success in dating them?
Ever thought of becoming a pick-up artist?
This week we sit down with Garrison Cohen, a "reformed pick-up artist" that has tried every technique there is in the world of seduction. Garrison walks us through his journey in the seduction community including a time as a Pickup Artist trainer. He shares with us the insights he learned from each of the schools of seduction and where it all led for him.
This is part one of a two part series.
Areas of Conversation:
podcast, Falling Fruit, The New Man, Tripp Lanier, Men's issues, mens group, relationships, women, men, fallingfruit, fallingfruit.tv, online media, production, dating, relationships, sex, testing, male female, masculine, masculinity, dating
Episode 19: The Icing on the Cake of an Amazing Life!
What you can do once you have find a sense of wholeness?
In Part 2 of our discussion with Bryan Bayer of the Authentic Man Program we get into the benefits of doing development work on our ability to relate with women.
Bryan describes how presence becomes 'a vortex,' drawing people (specifically women) towards us. He then describes what interactions look like the 'need to get something" is dropped. It might look something like this:
"What do you do for work?"
"I am a shepherd, I just lost one of my flock the other day and I am having a hard time with it."
Bryan treats many social interactions as an opportunity to create artistic expression. This should be fun, once we let down our guard a little.
We also get into the unique kind of opportunity AMP presents for men. "10 years of therapy didn't get at what we got to in 2 days at AMP," said one participant. AMP is a unique mix of challenge, inquiry and compassion that can trigger rapid insights and growth.
Listen as we learn how relating with women is just the icing on the cake of an amazing life!
Disclaimer: Tripp and Casey have both attended the AMP program and both found it challenging, rewarding, and a profound growing experience.more.
Episode 18: Bryan Bayer: The Authentic Man Program, Part 1
Ever notice how some guys just seem to be magnets for women?
Ever wish you could be that guy, effortlessly attracting amazing women into your life?
We sure do, and there may be help for us yet.
This week we're in the studio with Bryan Bayer, co-founder of the Authentic Man Program. Bryan gives us the story of how the AMP program came into existence out of his own pain and struggle finding real connection with women.
At one point, Bryan spent months asking himself, "what would I do if no woman ever found me attractive again?" From this deep inquiry, he discovered a whole new sense of integration and used it as a tool to fuel his own personal growth. He also had help from amazing women in his life that were willing to explore the depths of his being with him and give him feedback on what they were experiencing. AMP was developed with Bryan as his own guinea pig.
The AMP facilitators work with all types of men, helping them to integrate more of "themselves" and get rid of that sense of "need" that keeps women at a distance.
Listen as Bryan gives us a sense of where we can go in our interactions with women and how the AMP program is a great resource to help us get there.more.
Episode 17: Alissa Kriteman: Dating, Relationships, and Sex
What is the deal with all this testing from women?
In part two of our conversation, Alissa Kriteman shares an intense example of how she has tested her man and how his strength and ability to hold that deepened their relationship immensely.
Alissa shares with us some secrets that single men should know about meeting and attracting women and what role a healthy sense of self can play in finding a partner.
She gets into the very thing guys want to know about the most, what we are missing in the bedroom. No, it's not about any elaborate technique or physical qualifications fellas. It's also not something we can "figure out" exactly.
She goes on to speak about the wisdom of desire, and encourages us to cultivate our ability to "be" with desire and allow it to subtly guide us in life.
Listen as Alissa lets us in on the world of women. This is part 2 of a two-part series. Listen to part 1, Alissa Kriteman: Just for Women.
Areas of Conversation:
women, sex, relationships, single, dating, desire, Just for Women Podcast
Episode 16: Alissa Kriteman: Just for Women
Do you ever wonder what women talk about when we're not around?
We sure do, that's why we had to get an insiders perspective from relationship consultant Alissa Kriteman.
Alissa hosts the hugely successful podcast Just for Women: Dating, Relationships, and Sex. She talks with experts about all the issues facing women in the world and helps her listeners live fuller lives with better relationships.
Given her experience talking with women, we thought she might have some insights for The New Man...she definitely did!
Alissa gives us the female perspective on how we, as men, show up in the world of women most of the time. She details the differences of worldviews experienced by men and women and how knowing these differences empowers us to have deeper, more authentic relationships.
Listen to this fun conversation with Alissa as we take a look inside the world of women. This is part 1 of a two-part series. Listen to part 2, Alissa Kriteman: Dating, Relationships, and Sex.
Areas of Conversation:
women, sex, relationships, single, dating, desire, Just For Women Podcast
Episode 15: Have you Lost your Teenage Fire?
When does a boy become a man?
In more tribal times in human history, the transition to adulthood for men was very clear. It was accompanied by support and ceremony and left no question in the minds of the boys or the tribe about status or responsibility.
Our modern social structure seems to have abandoned this support structure for transition, something we are learning is so essential for young men.
Threshold Passages is one organization that is changing that.
Threshold Passages brings together young men on the path to adulthood, with willing mentors dedicated to helping these young men on their way. Together, these men and boys at varying stages of life, share wisdom, energy and support in the form of Adventure weekends and weekly group meetings.
This week we talk with Ed Lippolis, a program "mentor" at 39 years old and Patrick Hillman, a program "journeyman" at 16 years old. We get the perspective on both sides of this unique group mentoring program and hear about how important this program is in each of their lives.
Areas of Conversation:
Rite of passage, mentor, coaching, big brothers and sisters, elder, tribe
Episode 14: Robert Augustus Masters: Fear is Just Excitement in Drag
In Part 2 of our discussion with Robert Augustus Masters, he breaks it down to the practical level for us. Robert talks about several practices we can do to "get in our bodies" and get in touch with our true power.
"Repressed anger is as harmful as inappropriately expressed anger," Masters says when describing how to allow emotions to arise naturally. He says healthy anger is "the guardian of healthy boundaries."
Robert talks about being present to the emotions that are arising and giving them space to be expressed authentically.
When he says "Fear is excitement in drag," Masters is talking about the similarity of the emotions of fear and excitement as they are felt. When we allow the emotion to arise, without avoiding it, fear can be an exhilarating and useful emotion.
If you haven't already, we recommend listening to Part 1: Are you Stuck in the Friend Zone? to hear more of Robert's understanding supporting these practices.
Areas of Conversation:
fear, emotion, repression, anger, power, men's issues, vulnerability, men's groups
Episode 13: Robert Augustus Masters: Are you Stuck in the Friend Zone?
Robert Augustus Masters is an Integral Psychotherapist and group leader. Integral means that he is working with mind, body, emotion and conditioning in a flowing and organic way.
Robert works with guys who have the balls to make the changes to make their lives better. His work focuses primarily on the body, as men tend to get "stuck in their heads" and cut off from their feelings. Some women can feel this and may experience the man to be less trust-able and less desirable because of it.
The "Friend Zone" is the place men go when they are not in touch with our true power. Masters clarifies that power does not mean overpowering and that there is a real difference between anger and aggression. When men get in touch with the power from their core, they are more authentic, trust-able and attractive to women.
Robert insists that vulnerability is not weakness but, in fact, authenticity. If we can learn to be vulnerable without crumbling, we can be more in touch with our lives and other people.
This is part 1 of a two-part series. Listen to Part 2: Robert Augustus Masters: Fear is Just Excitement in Drag.
Areas of Conversation:
anger, power, men's issues, vulnerability, men's groups
Episode 12: The Warriors Journey: Returning from Iraq, Part 2
"The willow which bends to the tempest, often escapes better than the oak which resists it; and so in great calamities, it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner than those of a loftier character." - Albert Schweitzer
In Part 2 of our conversation with Dan Taslitz, we hear about Dans experience coming back from Iraq and what he went through in transition back to civilian life.
Dan has developed a system to convert stress into true strength and teaches men the power of vulnerability, learning to bend with resilience and not break in rigidity.
Listen as Dan gives us a glimpse of his life as a soldier. He then shows us his new life as a leader and compassionate warrior helping others resource their trauma to find true strength.
Areas of Conversation:
Marine, Reconnaissance, Iraq war, warriors journey, trauma recovery, The Peaceful Warrior, service, patriot
Episode 11: The Warriors Journey: From Trauma to Strength, Part 1
Dan Taslitz is a war veteran. He served on the front lines in the Iraq war in Marine reconnaissance in some of the most extremely high stress, high pressure situations. When someone goes through an experience like this, their brain and body adapt in order to survive.
How does that adaptation translate into normal life when a soldier, like Dan, returns from the battlefield?
Its not always easy.
Dan paid close attention to his experience and the changes that were occurring for him. He made a successful transition back into society, translating his stress into strength. He has developed an intimate understanding of the traumatic experience.
He brings this wisdom to his work with OneFreedom.org to help integrate soldiers into society after their service in battle. Dan helps soldiers resource their strength and learn to adapt in the face of challenges.
Listen as Dan shares his warriors journey through intensity towards integration.
Areas of Conversation:
Marine, Reconnaissance, Iraq war, warriors journey, trauma recovery, The Peaceful Warrior, service, patriot
Episode 10: Status is the Enemy of Contentment
Is your career really aligned with your life's purpose? How important is a man's purpose in life when choosing a career?
Marty brings a no-nonsense approach to his career advice, but there is wisdom in his perspective. He tells us what the most rewarding careers have in common and what to look for when seeking that perfect job. He flips conventional wisdom on its head and looks at the truth behind the flashy careers like doctors and lawyers and why these may not be the best paths to a rewarding life.
Marty is also passionate about how men are seen in today's western society. He argues that the portrayal of men as incompetent, aggressive, and powerless is not only inaccurate, but is having a harmful effect of the psyche of men and buys.
Listen as he shares with us what he has learned from a lifetime of writing and research on professional life and specifically men's roles in society.more.
Episode 9: Women are Not Just a Pain in the Ass?
We're dodging flying coffee mugs right now for even suggesting that, but that's how it can feel to a guy now and then. What is going on with the women of our lives in these moments of apparent torture?
This week we sit down with the amazing women of the Authentic Man Program and they share with us a little bit about how women work. We learn how women perceive men and how we can "show up" more fully to experience new depths in meeting, dating, and serious relationships with women.
The Authentic Man Program is a San Francisco-based workshop that helps men learn to look deep inside themselves and connect with their deepest truth. It also shows them how to take that awareness out into the world to meet and relate to other people—especially women.
Kendra, Shana, and Alexis give us a glimpse inside what they bring to the Authentic Man Program and share with us some practices we can use to deepen our relations with the opposite sex.
Far from being a pain in the ass, these women (and all women really) are our trusted allies in finding our deeper selves and finding intense connection with a partner.
Areas of Conversation:
presence, relationship, couples, inner game, seduction, meeting women, deep relationship, healthy communication
Episode 8: Is Pornography Great for a Relationship?
Porn is a part of nearly every man's sexual life. LiYana points out that a little porn is good for spice here and there, but too much porn can be junk-food, polluting our healthy relationship and distracting us from connection to our partner. She urges us to practice in the bedroom, giving our full energy to our partners.
LiYana then shares with us the key differences in how men and women open emotionally in relationship. Bringing a little consciousness to these differences is often enough to get through the hang-ups and into the true depths of connection.
Learn how to express love and the other things you love in your life rather than the typical compromise of love or these things. If you are experiencing resistance to commitment, get in touch with what are you going to lose by entering into a committed relationship? "Get in touch with that, then we can work with it," she says. You can have something EXACTLY the way you want it.
There's plenty of love to go around. Learn about the different styles of intimacy men and women bring to the table. Find out what absolutely has to be there if you want to take your relationship beyond monogamy.
Relationship lived in this way will call us to be our highest expression of a man.
Episode 7: Looking to Redefine your Monogamous Relationship?
Every man has had wandering thoughts or wandering eyes at some point during his committed relationship. Most likely it happens every day! Should we be avoiding these thoughts—repressing them so we don't hurt our partners?
Absolutely not, according to LiYana Silver, it's part of what makes you a man. So why do our special ladies seem to get so pissed off about it?
It likely has to do with our ability to stay connected to them. If we can develop strong, healthy constant connection to our partners, there is no limit to our freedom. We might even go so far as to take our relationship outside of the normal rules of monogamous commitment if that's what we want to do, according to LiYana.
Listen as LiYana lets us in on the secret "Kryptonite" that melts the resistance and defensiveness of any woman in relationship to establish true, deep connection. This connection is liberating for men in relationship, as we will feel the reigns loosen through trust.
Areas of Conversation: relationship, couples, polyamory, monogamy, deep relationship, healthy communicationmore.
Episode 6: Is it Necessary to Get Close to Death to Live Life?
In the final episode of our three-part in-depth conversation with Jayson Gaddis we explore the deepest truths of men's Rite of Passage work and how we can bring this truth to our everyday lives.
What happens when we step out of our "safe zone" and why are some constantly chasing the adrenaline rush in danger? Jayson talks with us about the power of stepping out of this "safe zone" and how embracing our "edge" can become a practice in our lives.
We pulled together some resources to start you off on this very effort. They are all centralized here at mensgroupresource.com.
This is Part 3 of three-part series. Listen to Part 1: Join a Fraternity! Be All That You Can Be! Now You're a Man! Right? & Part 2: Is it Necessary to Get Close to Death to Live Life?
Episode 5: How Does a Rite of Passage Affect the Rest of your Life?
How does rite of passage affect the rest of your life? Are you really alive?
So you've experienced your Rite of Passage, you're speaking to your animal spirits, now what? Jayson gives us some suggestions on how to take your insight back into the world and how to stay connected to your highest self throughout your life.
What is the Rite of Passage really about? Are you in touch with the fact that one day you will die? Rite of Passage work gives men an alternative to their tendency to stay up in their head and analyze. It allows you to stay present in your body, feel from your heart, and be truly aware of the world around you.
Popular culture often hints at the kind of initiation into manhood we are talking about. War films, coming of age tales and hero stories are often built around a man's Rite of Passage in some way. Fight Club pointed to the problem, but didn't really offer a workable solution. The film Into the Wild is Jayson's favorite Rite of Passage story, and every man with these questions should check it out. Email Jayson: Jay(at)innernature(dot)org
"Wouldn't it be cool if there was a website that he could go find this information?" - Jayson
We pulled together some resources to start you off on this very effort. They are all centralized here at mensgroupresource.com.
This is Part 2 of a three-part series. Listen to Part 1: Join a Fraternity! Be All That You Can Be! Now You're a Man! Right? & Part 3: Is it Necessary to Get Close to Death to Live Life?
Episode 4: Join a Fraternity! Be All That You Can Be! Now You're a Man! Right?
Is joining a fraternity is a necessary part of a man's development?
Well, maybe. College fraternities are addressing a genuine need all young men feel—the need for a transition from childhood to be accepted as a grown man. The problem is that they are doing a poor job of meeting that need with genuine and healthy "Rites of Passage."
This week Tripp and Casey sit down with Jayson Gaddis and talk about the Rite of Passage concept and its absence in modern western culture. With no Rite of Passage, men miss out on an essential ingredient to our healthy development. Jayson points out that the typical pattern of following the "shoulds" in life and not getting in touch with our true purpose is almost epidemic. "It's a recipe for midlife crisis," he says.
This is Part 1 of a three-part series. Listen to Part 2: How Does a Rite of Passage Affect the Rest of your Life? & Part 3: Is it Necessary to Get Close to Death to Live Life?
Episode 3: I'm Not Calling You Fat
In the previous episode we learned that being in a serious relationship doesn't mean that you are cut off from what you truly want in life. This week we continue our discussion with relationship experts Alyson and Reuvain and learn practical ways to communicate your desires to your woman. Alyson even gives us a tip on how to approach your woman honestly, even if its something as sensitive as sexual attraction and body weight that has become a challenge to your relationship. Get the inside scoop on how to bring your relationship with a woman into the world of healthy differentiation, and feel the depth of connection that results.
This is Part 2 of a two-part series. Listen to Part 1: Feeling Smothered? - Learn How to Live Your Truth and Be in Relationshipmore.
Episode 2: Feeling Smothered? - Learn How to Live Your Truth and Be in Relationship
Does the traditional model for relationship feel limiting to your true nature? Do you feel like you constantly have to compromise your authenticity to avoid conflict with your partner? We have, and we're learning that it doesn't have to be that way.
In this episode we're talking with psychotherapists Alyson Schwabe and Reuvain Bacal, relationship experts and specialists in women's and men's issues. They let us in on something the therapists call 'differentiation' and what we think of as 'the opposite of a shitty relationship.'
Healthy differentiation means maintaining autonomy while in relationship to another. The lack of differentiation is perhaps at its strongest in our romantic relationships, where desires, social models, and insecurities pull us into dependence. If we can learn how to establish healthy differentiation our relationships may take on a whole new level of reward and freedom. Listen as we learn what it looks like to lack differentiation and learn some techniques for how to get to a healthier relationship.
This is part 1 of a two-part series. Listen to part 2: I'm Not Calling You Fat.more.
Episode 1: When is the Last Time you were Called on Your Bullshit?
Tripp Lanier, professional coach and men's group facilitator, kicks off The New Man by calling on a group of Boulder men to discuss Men's group work. The guys talk about what they think when they hear "men's group," what they would like to gain from participating in a men's group, and the unique value that men can offer one another
Rollie, an internet professional and spiritual practitioner, brings up a common phenomenon he calls the "pre/trans" misconception in which pre-conventional "macho" behavior is associated with the masculine and avoided or repressed, preventing an authentic Trans-conventional masculinity from emerging.
Keith, freelance writer and Kung-fu teacher, points to Taoist principles of yin and yang and the inherent power in each. He notes that as men cultivate the softer yin energy they cut off their own personal power and the power of that yin as well as their inherent yang energy.
Rich, restauranteur, relates that in his years as a married man, he unknowingly missed out on the unique relationship that other men provide. He looks into how a men's group can be similar and different from one on one coaching.
Casey, marketing professional and New Man producer, shares that his clarity of direction allows him to be more available for giving in relationship and the world. The support of men keeps him on his "edge," the place where he is growing and expanding his capacities to handle life's challenges.
Join the group as they explore the potentials men's work and dig into how to approach the concept of men's specific personal growth.more.