Episode 21: Mindsets For (and Pitfalls to) Your Success and Learning; The Chain of Meaning [External]
In this episode of Coaching the Life Coach, Jason continues the series on mindsets for your success.
In this episode he expands on the idea that you are responsible for your emotional experience—and gives you additional access to the “chain of meaning” as it relates to how your beliefs are generated and how you create meaning regarding external events, people, and your experience of the world.
And there are two things that will stop you from being successful—a lack of skill or a lack of emotional facility and choice. These distinctions solve the second problem for you.
You are also reminded to review a series of articles he has written to assist you in fleshing out this process and training your mind. They are “Emotional Freedom Techniques”
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Jason McClain: Welcome to Coaching the Life Coach. I am your host Jason McClain and your guide in the 21st century marketplace.
“…we say wow, you know, and we do what I call an evidentiary research. We look for all the ways in which we are right about how people are blank. And it is negative. We don’t stop there. The challenge is going to stop there. We go even further and we do this evidentiary search to see how we are right and then we come to a conviction…”
“…but the fourth step then is the meaning step. In that place create a subset. It is kind of like with underneath that fourth step, step A; create a generalization. And then step B, underneath that fourth step would be just do an evidentiary search and then C, would be to create a conviction…”
Last week, on coaching the life coach, we talked about the Chain Of Meaning as it relates to your internal emotional experience and we are going to go into a more subtler, but perhaps more important in terms of the results that you are producing, distinction within that. And it is a chain of meaning as it relates to the external world.
So back to contributing to allowing you to have greater mastery over your mind; greater mastery over your internal subject of experience. Last week through we talked about an event and then an interpretation or a characterization followed by emotional reaction, a quick, rapid, normally shorter reaction, which then we wallow into some degree. Whether it is positive or negative by the way, sometimes the jubilant joyous reactions are just as dangerous because they are built on illusions, inaccurate interpretations which if it is built on an illusion, it will eventually lead to being disillusioned. And then we make it mean something.
Last week we were talking about how we make it mean something about ourselves, but we also often take a different route and then other route we have an emotional reaction and then we create some generalization about the world. People are blank or you know, this call list is blank. You know my industry is blank. You know my company never blanks. Are these prospects blank? Whatever it is, something external. Women are, men are, people are. Directors of technology are. Decision makers hour. Home owners are blank.
And it is a generalization. A generalization that first of all because it is generalization. It is at least partial, it is incomplete in its accuracy. Or second of all, what we do is we are going to stop there, we say, “Wow, you know, and we do what I call an evidentiary research.” We look for all the ways in which we are right about how people are blank. And it is negative. We don’t stop there. The challenge is going to stop there. We go even further and we do this evidentiary search to see how we are right and then we come to a conviction, something that we are willing to fight over. It is not just a belief now. Now it is a conviction. We will argue with you about it, we will debate it. We will get heated about it. And then what we do next is it becomes the truth, capital T. It is just the way things and if you don’t see it, you just ignore it. Or you are just not experienced enough or knowledgeable enough or something.
And what we have done is we have plugged ourself into a matrix of negativity or resignation and we prefer to search for evidence that has us be right. Then search for counter examples, which would have us be happier, freer. We are building flexibility, but we won’t have the certainty of being right about the world and by keeping our limitations.
Now that process is all within the fourth step, which I laid out last week and what you can find in the article I mentioned, Emotional Freedom Techniques, which if you just search your Emotional Freedom Techniques and Jason McClain, you should easily find it on the web. Just do Google search for it now. You can find it at EvolutionaryAwareness.com in the article section or PersonalLifeMedia.com and just look for my blog or the blog for Evolutionary Sales. And there are two parts to that article currently.
The fourth step and then is the meaning step. In that place create a subset, it is kind of like with underneath that fourth step, step A would be to who, generalization and then step B, underneath that fourth step will be just do an evidentiary search and then C, would be to create a conviction. After months or years of searching, proving you are right.
And then the next step of course would be truth. How do we unravel this? That is the question, how do we unravel this? Well, how we unravel is simply to search for counterexamples. Rather than do an evidentiary search to prove how we are right, set on to prove yourself wrong. And say “Well that is crazy Jason, why would I want to do?”
Well, there are a couple of reasons, one, so you will be free. The other is because it is actually a wonderful tool for ego development in the positive sense because you will be able to expand your ego to create new information. If the more you accept where you are inaccurate and moved towards the practical accuracy and away from that personally right and justified, the better off you will be in your relationships, in your business, in your finances, with your sex and romance, family, politics, just about every domain of humanbeingness in the Western globalized world because you will be better off for it.
That is how you do that. If you haven’t read the articles yet after last week, read them now. If you have, read them again. Because I guarantee you having heard this internal/external; last week we did internal, this week we do external. You will see it differently, you will read it differently, you will interrupt it differently and that is the good news.
I am Jason McClain, your host and your guide in the 21st century marketplace of where we fuse 21st century psychology with ethical sales techniques coming from service and contribution. We have got a little gift for you again, I want to remind you. If you go to 123nlp.com and you are buying stuff there, which will give you access to advanced communication skills, tools of influence as well as greater understanding of yourself.
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