Episode 11: Creating Your Niche and Effective Marketing with Lorri Molinari

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Jason Interviews Lorri Molinari of New Beginning Life Coaching Services on how to create your niche and effectively market on the internet and beyond. Learn how to go beyond your sphere of influence to reach not just dozens or hundreds of people but rather grow your list by the thousands. Lorri gives you strategies that will show you how. Jason and Lorri will also discuss the importance of choosing a niche so you are effective as well as memorable, allowing you to market to your target audience with precision. Discover the power of self-talk. Lorri will talk about the law of attraction and the fallacies as well as the power of a few simple mental techniques around language and intention that will assist you in using the power of your mind to create the results you desire.

Transcript

Creating Your Niche and Effective Marketing with Lorri Molinari

Announcer:  This program is brought to you by personallifemedia.com.

[Music]

Jason McClain:  Welcome to Coaching the Life Coach.  Strategies to build your transformational practice.  I’m your host Jason McClain, and your guide to the 21st century marketplace.  And today on the show we’ve got quite a treat because we’ve got Lorri Molinari who has 24 years of experience in marketing before she—her life essentially handed her the reasons to get into coaching and now she gets to bring her incredible richness of life and distinctions to you on this show. 

Today we’ll be talking about a few things, one, how to grow your email list, next will be the Law of Attraction, and partly demystifying and correcting some of the popular thinking around that so it can be of most use to you.  And then finally, choosing your niche.  So join me, and Lorri Molinari, coach Lorri, on Coaching the Life Coach. 

Lorri Molinari:  I am very conscious of where my magnet is pointed.  So that’s how I quickly explain the Law of Attraction to people.  Where is my magnet pointed?

I mean, you can have the best product in the world, but if only a few people know about it, it’s not gonna help your overall financial abundance. 

So for example, with my coaching practice, I specialize in working with women who outwardly look very successful, but inwardly are on autopilot or worse, being a tumbleweed and they live in self-doubt.  Through coaching I help them to rediscover their greatness. 

Jason:  Welcome to the show, Lorri.

Lorri:  Thank you

Jason:  I’m pretty excited to have you on the show.  You’ve got 24 years experience in marketing! [laughs]  That is amazing!  And so, first of all, let’s just talk about this idea of growing your email list.  Can you talk about what you mean by that?

Lorri:  Well, initially, my goal was to just--any networking event I went to, anyone that expressed interest, anyone who gave me that person’s name, I would add to my database. And the list was growing okay, but certainly not rapidly.  But having an email list was very important because I send out an e-newsletter twice a month and thoughts of the week with inspirational thoughts.  So obviously, the goal is to interact with more and more people.  And then this phenomenon happened, Jason, one Saturday I woke up and there were 50 emails in my email box requesting a free download that I have on my website called The ABC’s of Living Life Consciously.

Jason:  Wow.

Lorri:  Wow, 50 in one morning, it happened Sunday and it happened Monday, I’ve gotta ask these people where they’re hearing about it.  And because this poster is free, because it’s a download, someone had come across it on my website and had requested it.  And then she put the beautiful write-up about the poster on this site called freestuff.com.  And then another site picked it up, and another site, so about 12 different sites had this beautiful write-up about my poster and even now it’s probably been about three months and I still get requests daily for it and I have doubled the size of my email list.  So that when I do offer a workshop or I offer a complimentary coaching call or just a thought of the week, I now am talking to twice as many people, which of course, is very important to growing my business.

Jason:  Yes. [laughs]

Lorri:  And that all happened serendipitously.  And I’m just very lucky that the universe had that happen. 

Jason:  I think that both Jay Abrams and Dan Kennedy who are probably the penultimate marketing gurus, they’ve both said at some point, “Your only job is to grow your list of people to market and sell to”.  [laughs]  As a business person, that’s your only job.

Lorri:  Right.

Jason:  I mean, developing the product and everything else is obviously important, but for the most part, growing that list, growing that circle of influence you can have.

Lorri:  Right.  You can have the best product in the world, but if only a few people know about it, it’s not gonna help you overall financial abundance. 

Jason:  That’s right.  One of the things that I like to tell my coaching clients and coaches is that they’re sales people first.

So I’m curious, so this poster—can you say a little bit more about the poster and maybe how people can grow their list in other ways, different techniques.

Lorri:  Sure!  Well, I believe strongly in living life consciously.  What I mean by that is, not our old programming, not our old emotions, not our old baggage making our decisions, but we are aware of where we have choices.  We look at those choices and make the decision that’s best in the moment.  That’s what I call “living life consciously”. 

So one Sunday morning I woke up and this document just came out of me, so on the left-hand side there’s each letter of the alphabet and then for each letter there’s a reminder statement of living life consciously.

So A is “Ask for what I need”, B is “Balance in all areas of my life”, C is “Who do I choose to be today”, one of those great double-checked questions.  So I have it on the website as free download, you just click on the picture and you get the download link, or I actually created a poster, a 12” x 18” poster that people can order for a very nominal fee.  And so that will be a visual aid.  I have people telling me they have it on their bathroom mirror, on their computer monitor, in various places in their lives as a visual reminder of, “This is who I wanna be in my life, not other stuff that may have been making bad decisions for me”. 

So that’s one of the things that I have used.  I give it out when I do presentations, as a way of growing my list because then people can go to the website that’s listed on the bottom, (?) it’s for anything we do we have our contact information on there.  So even the big poster--it’s only five dollars--I chose to price it very economically because I want my name in front of people.  I want my we address in front of people, I want my email address in front of people.  So that’s one of the tools that I use, and then when someone sends me an email requesting it, I always ask, “How did you hear about the poster?”, or, “How did you hear come across my website?”.  It’s vital to be collecting that information as well.

So now I know these 12 websites that promote free stuff. What’s normally on there are free product samples or anything free.  My poster stands out a little bit because that’s different; a different type of thing that’s on there.  But now I can go and anytime I have something free I can put a posting on there.  So there’s a whole new marketing activity that I wasn’t aware of.  It’s just gonna keep growing, and growing, and growing my list, which means I’m marketing to more and more people!

Jason:  One of the things I love about that is that not only are you building your list, but you’re providing a tremendous value to people.

Lorri:  Yes.

Jason:  And the free download doesn’t cost you anything other than the time it took to create the poster.

Lorri:  Right.

Jason:  So you’ve got this wonderful value that you’re giving to people and in addition, you also get to grow your list.

Lorri:  Exactly.  So I feel like I am living in that higher purpose.  And Jason, you would not believe the thank you emails I get back after people have printed it out and have posted it.  I have had people that have a serious illness, or they have a relative that’s challenged, or there’s some kind of trauma in their daily life.  And just reading the poster everyday helps them set the tone that they choose, and not get caught up in the emotions of the situation.  And some of the thank you letters have brought tears to my eyes.  Again, it didn’t take me a lot; it just came out of me because I so passionately believe in what I do in my coaching practice.   Yet from a marketing standpoint:  Wow!  Isn’t this an amazing tool to be able to connect to people?  And then when I release the next new product or the next workshop, there’s more and more people that I’m continuing to bring the message to.

Jason:  Sure, sure.  The other great thing about it is that you demonstrate competence as well, so they go, “Wow, this person knows what they’re doing”.  In addition to providing value and growing your list, you also get to build credibility and demonstrate competence.

Lorri:  True.  And the other interesting thing, Jason, is that it also has helped me as far as, “What do I do when amazing opportunities present themselves?”  Out of the blue I get a phone call from a local radio station that has a life coach segment once a week and their existing life coach is leaving and they want to know if I will audition.  Of course, I say yes.  I’m the one of the four people that auditioned that they chose and I’m now on the radio every Thursday.  And so we use the ABC’s poster as our different segment every week.  So I have 26 weeks of topics already planned.  And again, people will send emails to the station afterwards saying, “Thank you, it’s just what I needed to hear”, or whatever.

So again, from a marketing point of view, I didn’t have to scramble, “What am I gonna talk about each week? It has to be fresh, it has to be compelling”.  We’re just gonna do the whole alphabet.

Jason:  That’s fantastic.  It’s fantastic.  So you’ve already touched on this a little bit, but I’m curious, for our listeners, what does it make possible in their life and their business if they really focus on building their list in a way that provides value for people?

Lorri:  Well, I think first of all, as you mentioned, it builds credibility.  So it doesn’t look like we’re out there strictly to create money.  I’m here just to make money, make money, make money.  I rarely even use the word “money” in my life.  I talk about financial abundance, financial stability.  So they see that Lorri isn’t always just trying to sell something, sell something, sell something.  They can see that Lorri does things that are investments for other people. Whether it’s the free poster, whether it’s the complimentary coaching session.  Last Tuesday night I did a free coaching call entitled, “Women and Self Care—it’s Not Selfish”.

So here is where I’m making an investment in people, helping them to see how coaching could benefit their life, and building my own credibility.  If they participate in one of these avenues, they’re gonna hear my passion, my genuineness, that I live this everyday.  This is not coming out of some kind of book or a textbook.  This is my life and I’m sharing it with you.  So it just introduces a lot of people to coaching which is still not a familiar industry to many people.

And so by participating in these free activities, I’m building my list because it doesn’t feel risky to people.  Oh, I can sign on for a free one hour phone call and well, is there  gonna be a hard sell at the end?  No!  I’m here genuinely sharing with you about that topic and then you get to decide if you want to invest more time, energy and your finances into that topic, if it’s speaking to you and what you want to focus on in your life.  It really does build that credibility that I’m not here just to sell you something, but I am truly marketing you both paid for products and complimentary products. 

Jason:  Not only do you demonstrate credibility, but also you garner likeability. [laughs]

Lorri:  True! True, that’s absolutely true.  On the complimentary call I had Tuesday evening, by the end of that call—and there were women across the country, we had two women calling in from Canada—by the end of that call about “Women and Self Care—it’s not Selfish”, the biggest issue that women deal with is guilt, there was one woman in tears.  “I’m here on this call, my baby’s crying in the next room, I can hear my husband getting frustrated, I’m feeling guilty.  I should be dropping this call and running in and taking care of my baby”.  And that is a real life example.  Her tears got us to talk about the real guilt that women feel in their lives.  So here are 22 strangers that now suddenly embrace this one woman and it was an amazing experience.   And you’re right, Jason, I got to facilitate that and I have instant credibility with all of those women now.  So that when I launch that workshop, I’m not gonna have to quote, unquote “sell them”.  They’ve experienced it already. 

Jason:  That’s right, that’s right.  And on that note, we’re gonna take a short break to support our sponsors.  I’m here with Coach Lorri Molinari and we’ve been talking about how to grow your email list and we’ll be right back.

[radio break]

Jason:  Welcome back to Coaching the Lifecoach.  I’m Jason McClain, your host, and I’m here with Coach Lorri Molinari.  Talking before the break about growing your email list.

And now I’d like to drill down this idea that’s popularized in our preinterview phone call, I really loved how you talked about the challenges with the Law of Attraction.  About how some people have misused it.  Can you talk about what your relationship is to the Law of Attraction.  It’s been so popularized by the movie, “The Secret”, and Brian Tracy, and others.

Lorri:  To some people that have not done any self-development work in this area, it feels like a new phenomenon.  They’ve just discovered “The Secret”.  But for me, when I saw the online movie, I realized, “Wait a minute!  I can trace my reading on this all the way back to Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”, which was written in the 1920’s.  So it’s not really a new phenomenon, it’s the new packaging of the…say that again, Jason?

Jason:  I’m just laughing and saying, “Yeah, that’s right”.

Lorri:  I know, but that’s okay.  If this is the way it’s getting more people exposed to the Law of Attraction, that’s great.  Like you, I live it everyday.  I strongly believe in it.  I am very conscious of where my magnet is pointed.  So that’s how I quickly explain the Law of Attraction to people.  Where is my magnet pointing?  If you think of your thoughts, your feelings, and your self-talk, where is all of that focused?  Whatever I’m focused on, I’m pulling more of that in.

So if I’m focused on gratitude, I’m pulling more gratitude in.  If I’m focused on fear, I’m pulling more fear in.  So I live this everyday.  I listen to my self-talk, I listen to my words, and make sure my magnet is pointed in the direction that is gonna serve my life and not sabotage my life. 

Now here’s my challenge:  Everyone—I should say a lot of people are becoming exposed to this—there’s a movie that talks about how you can think it and it will appear.  Well, I disagree with that.  As a life coach, my philosophy is: Action equals results.  Until we get into action, it’s a wish.  You see that with your clients as well. 

Jason:  Yes, yes.

Lorri:  So until we apply the actions, how are we gonna change things in our lives?  So I need to point my magnet at what I’m choosing to have in my life, but then I need to get into action.  My fear around the Law of Attraction, and some of the messages around some of the speakers and “The Secret” is that it’s just gonna be the next new fad like the South Beach Diet, or whatever, the no yeast diet or whatever.  Because people are going to point their magnet, but they’re not gonna get up off their couch; nothing is gonna change in their life and then they’re gonna say, “Oh, this doesn’t work, I knew this was a hoax”, or, “I knew this was brainwashing” or whatever negative label is now going to come up. 

So my message to people when I get asked, when I’m speaking about “The Secret” and the Law of Attraction is: Do both parts.  Point your magnet so you’re attracting what you choose, but then, put into action what is gonna co-create it with the universe.

Jason:  Yes.  Yes, yes! [laughs]  One of the ways I think about it is that there’s the conscious mind and then the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind—you set your intentions, you set those parts of you that are out there—it’s really based on biology, from our hunter/gatherer years.  And so all the Law of Attraction does is when you apply it appropriately, is create the conditions that make it possible for those opportunities to arise.

It’s just like when you decide you want a new car and suddenly you start seeing that car everywhere.  It’s not as if you manifested that car out of thin air.   It’s that then your awareness was open to it and that’s the Law of Attraction.  Action—I’m just so glad to hear you as a couch saying it—action is so necessary and so underplayed in our society because everybody wants that magic pill. 

Lorri:  Right.  It’s true, and people ridicule parts of “The Secret”, the one I hear the most is the parking space; the gentleman talks about how he always gets a front parking space.  I will tell you—and I don’t specifically focus on a parking space, but when I’m going to an event or I’m going to an appointment, I will use the power of visualization.  So I will say, “I am going to get all green lights”, or “I’m gonna find a close parking spot”, “I’m gonna meet the facilitator quickly”.  I will walk through how I want the whole event to go.  And I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had to walk far!  Just something shows up or sometimes I can’t believe how short a time I can get from point A to point B because I’m just thinking; I’m pointing my magnet at “I am going to get here effortlessly”.

And then, of course, people say to me, “But Lorri, what if you hit a red light?  Doesn’t that just show you that it’s not working?”  No!  What I choose to think there is, “Oh, I probably need this one light to be red to time all the rest of them to be green so that I get to my appointment on time!”

Jason:  That’s beautiful.  And I love the rigor that you display there, the discipline in your mind.  The Buddhists talk about how the mind unchained is either a monkey or an unchained elephant thrashing through the village.  But trained, it can lift trees and build buildings for you. 

Lorri:  True. 

Jason:  So one of the things that you had mentioned was that 77% of our self-talk is negative?  Can you say a little bit about that?

Lorri:  Yes.  Jason, since that number was published a few years ago, they’ve updated that study, and unfortunately, it’s now closer to 80%. 

Jason:  Oh, man!

Lorri:  So 80% of our negative self-talk—which if you just visualize a television crawl going across your subconscious mind, but below the surface—up to 80% of that can be negative!  So when I heard that statistic, I went running to the calculator and at that point I was doing 77% times 60 minutes, that’s 46 minutes of every hour we can be talking negatively to ourselves. 

Jason:  Right, jeesh.

Lorri:  Oh, my gosh!  And I hear it everyday in my coaching sessions!  People are calling themselves names, people are putting negative labels on themselves.  And a lot of times, what happens is unfortunately, this comes from our family of origin.  We grow up hearing negative labels.  Some parents or siblings, or teachers, or those that we respect.  And we just take them all.  We don’t question their accuracy, we act as if it’s a fact. 

Jason:  Right.

Lorri:  And it becomes part of our vocabulary, so in my negative self-talk workshop, we’ll do this exercise where we say, “Make a column of negative labels you say about yourself”.  And the sad thing is, when I then stop talking and observe people, no one is sitting there not writing, everyone is scribbling furiously!

Jason: [laughs]

Lorri:  Which is a little bit sad.  So what I do now is help people to hear, increase their awareness of that negative self-talk and how it is not serving them. 

Jason:  Perfect.  And so, before we take another break; the Law of Attraction and negative self-talk, if you really harness these tools, and develop what I call metacognition—being aware of your thinking—what does it make possible in our business and our life today?  Whether they’re a coach or somebody listening who hasn’t found a coach yet?

Lorri:  Okay.  Let me give you a real life example.  When I was launching my business, as you mentioned at the beginning, I left a very good career in corporate America, I had been in marketing management for 24 years; left that.  I am a single woman, so the income is all on me.  So naturally, as a new business owner, there are a few mornings at 3:00 a.m. when I’m staring at the ceiling, thinking, “Lorri, what the heck did you just do?” 

Jason:  [laughs] Right!

Lorri:  But then how I manage that is by reminding myself that I quickly did the gratitudes list, reminded myself where I’m pointing my magnet, but I’m a human being and  sometimes I would start worrying about the money coming in.  This very good friend of mine one day said, “You know, Lorri, you’ve been lamenting the fact that a lot of people you’ve been doing complimentary sessions with to introduce them to coaching have been saying they can’t do it because of money.  And I’m wondering if that’s because your magnet is really pointed at worrying about money, so you’re attracting people who are also worried about money!”

Jason:  Right, right.

Lorri:  And it was so true.  The minute I released all of that and said, “I am working my passion, this why I am on this planet.  I love what I do, it doesn’t feel like work”.  Once I really embraced that and know that I’ve been successful at whatever I’ve done in my life, then the clients, the ideal clients started showing up!

And I did one presentation earlier this year in January to a major company here in the Denver, Colorado area, and I had 20 new clients from that one event.  When I cleaned up my thinking, when I realized what I was truly saying to myself, where my magnet truly was pointed, versus where I would choose to have it. 

Jason:  Twenty new clients, one speaking event? 

Lorri:  Yes!

Jason:  On that note [laughing], we’re gonna take another short break to support our sponsors.  My name’s Jason McClain, you’re listening to Coaching the Lifecoach and I’m here with Coach Lorri Molinari, and we’ll be right back.

[radio break]

Jason:  Welcome back to Coaching the Lifecoach.  I’m Jason McClain, here with Coach Lorri Molinari. 

Lorri, before the break, we were talking about the Law of Attraction and negative self-talk and how to really harness the power of our minds.  And lastly, I want to drill down on some more marketing tips here.

Let’s talk about this idea of choosing your niche.  Could you say what you mean by that?

Lorri:  Sure.  I believe that if we truly want to experience joy in our business, if we choose our niche, if we choose to work with people in which we can speak authentically, that’s gonna make it much easier. 

So for example, with my coaching practice, I specialize in working with women who outwardly look very successful, but inwardly are on autopilot, or worse, being a tumbleweed, and they live in self doubt.  So through coaching I help them rediscover their greatness. 

And even in choosing the name of my practice, New Beginning Lifecoach Services, I knew this was the niche for me because I had to do that.  Several years ago, I left a seven-year relationship.  I left a nine-year-old little boy behind that I helped raise when I was in this relationship.  We owned a business together, obviously, I can’t keep working in that situation, so I chose to leave the business even though I founded and he joined me; left with the clothes on my back, didn’t have a job, didn’t have a place to live, and I had to start from scratch.

So when I am working with women that are in similar situations, or—a lot of my clients are in their 40’s and 50’s, I’m 46—they wake up one day and the say, “How the heck did I get here?”

Jason:  Right! [laughing]

Lorri:  And they know they need a new beginning.  When they interact with me—I don’t care if it’s a Chamber function, or at one of my workshops, or hearing me on the radio every Thursday morning--they hear that authenticity, that genuineness, that passion.  I have been there, I have walked in the same shoes, I have lived the fear, I have lived the worry.  So they relate to me very quickly, they’re not self-conscious when they need to cry in a session because sometimes I’m shedding tears.  So it just allows me to be genuine.

Now, I do have a few male clients, but I coach them very differently because there are distinct differences between men and women.  My language is different, what we focus on is different.  The male clients that I have, it’s usually more around their career, and how are they showing up in their career and what’s not working for them in their career, and the negative self-talk that they have. 

So I have to work a little bit harder with male clients.  With female clients, they’re at that same stage in their life, this is effortless, Jason.  At this point, when I do presentations, I rarely have to prepare.  I rarely look at my sheets of paper anymore.  It just comes out of me because I am talking about my life! 

And the other thing I remind women is:  I’m here as your coach.  All that means is, I’m just a little further down the path.  We’re on the same path; I’ve just been on it further!  So I’m just a little bit further ahead, but I understand all that you’re feeling on this path.

Jason:  You know, I’ve met (?) and even interviewed coaches who are good at what they do, but they don’t have the depth and richness that comes from going, “My life was really in a challenging place”-- and that’s using really careful language, there -- [laughs] “My life was really in a challenging place and it just makes sense that I’m doing this thing now, assisting others in moving through challenges”. 

Lorri:  Right.

Jason:  You know, there are other coaches who went some workshop, got a coaching certification because they had no other marketable skill. And they may be really good, and they may be effective in assisting others, but there’s a certain lack of a depth and richness and a certain lack of credibility that is present--the credibility with somebody like you who’s walked that path.

Lorri:  That’s right.

Jason:  So, Lorri, I’m noticing on your website people can actually download the free poster, and you’ve got a free CD; you’ve also got a very, very modestly priced product, “How Your Negative Self-Talk is Sabotaging Your Life”, the CD.

So how do people reach you, what services do you provide, where are you located, those things?

Lorri:  Great.  I am in a suburb of Denver, Colorado.  I do one-on-one coaching, either face-to-face, or via the telephone.  I have clients across the country and we do it via telephone.  So one-on-one coaching was how I started my business, and then I started conducting workshops because I started seeing those common themes of my clients.  So I have workshops on “Is My Self-Talk Sabotaging My Life”; the one I mentioned earlier,  “Women in Self-Care-it’s Not Selfish”, so I have about four different workshops that I do where I host them.  But then I will also go and speak at organizations.

Last week I was with the International Customer Service Association, talking about negative self-talk in the work place.  How you talk about yourself when you’re in a meeting, or what is your self-talk when one of your employees comes down the hall.  I’ve adapted the content to work in the business setting as well as in our personal lives. 

And then there was such an outpouring from that workshop that people said, “What do I do when you’re not standing here in front of me?”  So I recorded the workshop on the CD and people tell me everyday, “I love it. I keep it in my car; and I just pop it in as reinforcement tool and I hear your voice in my head all the time now”.  So that’s great.

Jason:  I love that one! “I hear your voice in my head all the time.”  Good! Good, good.

Lorri:  I want you to!  Well, I believe in reinforcement.  This work, Jason, as I’m sure you know with your clients, this is no different than exercising. If you want to be a certain clothes size, you need to exercise a certain number of times a week.  If you want the life of your dreams, if you wanna live an inspired life, you need daily practice! 

Jason:  One of the metaphors I use with my clients is that this is about building a muscle, the mental muscles.   It’s no different than learning how to bench press or play racquetball or whatever it is that—those are obviously things that I do or have done—but at first you might get sore.  At first you go, “Oh, God, what am I doing, I lifted too much weight, screw this!”  But then you go, “Oh, okay, let me try it again”.  And you go back and you learn to lift a moderate amount of weight and you add some additional weight.  And then pretty soon, you can’t imagine how you ever didn’t work out.  And you’re adding more weight, you’re feeling strong, you’re feeling solid, and you’re taking on new and greater challenges; and then you hire a trainer to assist you in taking it even further to the edge.  The whole metaphor maps across the mental habit patterns, the mental muscle, is no different than a bicep.

Lorri:  That’s right.  And it’s interesting, I had a client the other day say to me—we were talking about doing something differently—and she was saying to me, “Lorri, I have to be thinking about how I want to do it differently every time.  It seems to take so much energy. It just always has to be my focus”.  And I said, “Well, that’s true, but let’s talk about where you’re being right now.”--and this is a work example--and I said, “So avoiding that situation, or avoiding that person, or beating yourself up because you don’t think you’re handling it properly; how much energy is that taking?”  

Jason: That’s right, that’s right.

Lorri:  So she said, “Oh, yeah, that’s right”.  I’m not asking you to do anymore energy, I’m asking you to transfer it from a negative place to a positive place.  But you’re right, Jason, it does take conscious thought in the beginning until it becomes just your way of life.  And now—like you did a few moments ago, when you chose to say “a person living a challenging life”—those of us who have been doing this for a while, we just naturally hear our words and choose those that are gonna serve us.  It doesn’t take as much energy as it does in the beginning. 

Jason:  It takes almost none.  It actually becomes another unconscious habit, but one you get to watch and enjoy. [laughs]

Lorri:  It’s true.  It’s true.  And the other tip I will give people is give someone in your life permission to call you on your word choices.  My good friend, Julie, she and I have given each other permission.  So if we hear a negative label, if we hear negative self-talk, if the magnet has been pointed in the wrong direction and we don’t realize it, we call time out with each other and say, “Is that really what you meant to say, or do you know where your magnet is pointed right now?”  We just do that double-checked question, no judging, no big, long discussion.  So give someone permission to help you be rigorous with your word choices. 

Jason:  I love the way you do that too.  Because it’s so critical to not have it be something about being self-righteous. But really going, “I’m curious, is that the language you want for that?”  Just inquiries.  And they might go, “You bet it is!  Leave me alone!” 

[laughing]

Jason:  And you go, “Okay”!

Lorri: [laughing] Exactly!

Jason:  Or, “Thank you”, or somewhere in between.

Lorri:  That’s true.  There were times when I said, “Yes, Julie, I know I’m acting like a teenager right now and I’m consciously being a teenager right now! I’ll let you know when I’m back in adulthood!”

Jason:  [laughing] That’s right!  Thank you very much, I’ll enjoy this for three minutes, I’m indulging myself, now then leave me alone!

[laughing]

Lorri:  I can see you practice that once in a while, too, Jason!

[laughing]

Jason: So one more question, but before I ask you that one final question, you are listening to Coaching the Lifecoach, I’m your host, Jason McClain, and your guide in the 21st century marketplace.  I’m here with Coach Lorri Molinari, who you can reach through newbeginninglifecoach.com.

For transcripts of this show and any other show on the Personal Life Media network, visit personallifemedia.com.  If you have questions for me about applications of any distinctions, or you can’t find Lorri’s website you would like me to connect you with her, you can email me at [email protected]

So Lorri before we sign off here, I’m just gonna ask you to share more of your wisdom.  One single organizing principle or one critical distinction, that if people were to apply it today, whether they’re listening because they’re a beginning coach or a journeyman coach or even a veteran, or because there’s somebody just looking for answers out there; what would be the single most important organizing principle you would wanna leave them with now?

Lorri:  Also, Jason, a little easier website to get to me is coachlorri.com. 

Jason:  Thank you.

Lorri:  But one principle I would ask people is my daily goal—my daily life goal—is to live a peaceful and joyful day.  So I would ask people to take an audit on their life today.  What does today feel like?  Are there places that you are in autopilot?  Like that moving sidewalk at the airport where it’s just taking you and you’re not really sure where, you just get on it and move forward.  Are you really moving anywhere?  Or are you being tumbleweed?  Are all of these external factors deciding your life?  Your spouse, your children, your to-do list.  Is that what’s deciding your life or are you consciously choosing your life?  So I would ask people to take an audit and “Where am I not experiencing peace and joy today?”  And just being aware of that—you don’t have to get into any action yet about it, but where am I on autopilot; I’m experiencing apathy or indifference?  And now that I’m aware of it, now I have choices. 

Jason:  Excellent.  Thank you.  Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your insight with our listeners and with me.

Lorri:  Thank you!

Jason:  Again, I’m Jason McClain, your host and I’m here with Coach Lorri, you can reach her at coachlorri.com.  Thank you for listening, and I look forward to joining you again next week.

[Music]

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