Episode 37: Practical NLP For Everyday Life with John Santangelo & Robert Harrison
In this episode, we are going to talk about practical NLP you can use in your daily life right now – to live a healthier, happier, and more vibrant life. NLP, which stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming is an ever growing field of how to model human excellence. Through the years, countless NLP Processes have been archived from this awesome learning tool. Today you will learn the sacred few that seasoned Coaches & NLP’ers really use on a regular basis for the maximum impact.
Whenever you get two NLP Trainers in the same room you’re bound to have fun and learn something new. Listen in as Robert and guest John Santangelo swap behind the scenes tips and tricks about the very best NLP techniques for everyday life.
This program is brought to you by PersonalLifeMedia.com
Robert Harrison: Hi everyone, welcome to "Coaching by the Life Coach". I'm your host Robert Harrison. Today on the show we're going to be talking about practical NLP, that's nuero-linguistic programing, for everyday life. And our guest today is John Santangelo from JohnSantangelo.com.
Robert Harrison: Today we're going to be talking about NLP, and more importantly practical NLP that you can use in your daily life right now to live a healthier, happier, and more vibrant life. And some of the questions we're going to be asking are, What are the best NLP processes that you really see successful business owners, entrepreneurs, and just people using on a daily basis? These are going to be some of the questions we're going to be dogging into today, and as always we are going to make sure you get some real tools and tips that you can put to use right away. So, John, welcome and thank you for being on the show.
John Santangelo: Hey, thanks Robert, I really appreciate it.
Robert Harrison: Good, nice to have you on. Now for those of you who don't know John, John is also one of the hosts of "Sales Magic", another show on PersonalLifeMedia.com. Definitely check it out. And John is known for integrety, passion, and motivation. He's the owner of LANLP.com. He is an NLP trainer and a sales trainer. And I'm pleased to have you today with us, John. And I think what our listeners really care about, is about learning what NLP is. I want to talk about that briefly. I know a lot of our listener already know what NLP is but let's kind of briefly cover what that is and what is this powerful stuff they've heard about in the Peak Performance circle and how can they use it to improve their life.
John Santangelo: Absolutely. So are you asking me that specific question or do you just want a description of what NLP is or what is it you really want?
Robert Harrison: Let's just start, you know, it's like asking hypnotists what hypnosis is, and so I love asking NLP trainers, Hey what is your definition of NLP for the layman? Let's start there.
John Santangelo: Ok. I guess NLP for the layman would be something simply stated as: Using what we do inside our brain, how we use our pictures, the sounds which is the little voice that we've got going on, and the feelings in our body to model success or create strategies that do work instead of strategies that we continuously use that don't work in our lives. That'd probably be the easiest way to say it.
Robert Harrison: Ok, so what would be an example of that, of using the pictures and the sounds and the feelings to model success? Can you give us a, like a regular example, maybe that the people can relate to?
John Santangelo: Uh, sure. I think something simply would be this, when you picture something in your brain or you have a feeling in your body about a goal or an object or a vision, an intent that you'd like to accomplish, what happens? What pictures do you pull up? What are you saying to yourself? Where's the feelings generated in your body? And all of that really produces our reality and it forms the action steps or the behavior to get us to that goal or hold us back or allows us to procrastinate, I should say. So those pictures, sounds, and feelings create our world and how we behave in it. Simply said.
Robert Harrison: That's right. In NLP we call that our map of reality. And I know that they always say that we're responding to our map of reality and not reality itself. Which is why two people can see the same event and have a totally different response.
John Santangelo: Right.
Robert Harrison: So John, to dig a little bit deeper into that, can you tell us a little bit more about like how someone would use NLP to improve the quality of their lives. So in other words, we're aware that we have this inner map that we're responding to. So how would we assess where we're at other than, you know, my life's great or my life's not great? How would we assess where we're at? And what are some simple steps that our listeners can take right now to, you know, get some better results?
John Santangelo: That's a great question, Robert, because I think that's probably the question that most people ask themselves on a daily basis trying to get anything in their life whether it be, you know, "I'm trying to better my relationship" or you know "I'm trying to help my finances, create more wealth, I want to find a new career". Whatever it is "I want to better my family life". You know the thing is, what I've found in the last 20 years in working with people and coaching with people like you have is, there's three things I think that people have a challenge with. One is they don't know what they want. The second thing is they don't have or develop the necessary skills that they need to get them there. And the third which I think is the most important aspect of that piece is, what gets in their way? They procrastinate. They learn that this doesn't work and they end up focusing on that the majority of their life, and that becomes the behaviour that they do every time they want to create something. So one is decide. Second is what are the skills. And three what are the necessary action steps. And so that is kind of mapped out really simply in what I call a recipe. What's the recipe for, I don't know, general success in any area of your life? One is deciding. You've got to set a goal. You've got to know what you want. I kind of relate it like this to my clients: Ok, look. Pretend I'm your travel agent. What's the first question I'm going to ask you? It's going to be, where do you want to go? Because without that we're dead in the water. We can't find a way forward until we map out where we want to go. And then second, what do you think we're going to need to get us there? The vehicle, what are the other tools along the way? And second, what's it going to take for us to begin to move forward. And with that, with that simple recipe then we can really begin to focus on some of the challenges that hold them back, move them through those challenges and give them the necessary confidence or the self-esteem or the motivation and the persistance to follow through on it and obtain the results or to get to our final destination.
Robert Harrison: John, so I get that. That is an awesome success formula. What do you want, how do you know when you have it, and what stops you. So one of the things that I see people kind of getting lost on though, some of the people that we coach or the people that come into our clinic maybe for habit change or for life improvement, is that they're coming in and they're not really sure what the issue is. Now some people come in and they're like, "Hey, I want to drop 50 pounds" or some people come in, "I want to quit smoking" or some people come in and they want to double their income.
John Santangelo: Right.
Robert Harrison: But for those people out there who go, "Yeah, this is great stuff but I have no idea where to start", what tools would recommend for them to kind of assess where they're at and what area, if they focused on or started to apply this to get clear on their goals, would give them the most benefit. Do you have a way of doing that?
John Santangelo: Yeah, that's a great question and how we do it in our NLP certification courses when we do demos or we have people that come up and we demonstrate in class is simply this, we say, we ask those people or even my coaching clients or corporations they work with, because again coming back to what I just said, it's deciding what goals do you want. So your question basically is this, "Well what if they don't know"? The great thing about that is, they always know what they don't want. So the question I ask is, "What's the problem?" to help them define the problem. And once they can define the problem state then I'll say, "Ok, what would be opposite of that, that you would like to have instead?" And I love that word "instead". It gives them possibility, like, "Oh, that's interesting. What would be the opposite of that?" And usually from there they can kind of start to define where they want to go. And then we start, and one of the things when I was listening to your program was really well put together, Robert, was you really helped them define what it would be like in their own mind first of where they want to go. What one of my instructors used to say (Robert Dilt) was somatic syntax, getting it into the body so that not only the mind but the body feels it and it starts to become more of a reality. Interesting that we've been talking about that too because one of the things that Michael Jordan used to do before every game was a whole visualization process. They said he spent 45 minutes visualizing what he wanted and then his body had already gone through the process of winning the game so when he was on the court, the mind and the body worked together to achieve that result. And that's exactly what our brain does every day, but the problem is that's it's usually focused on what we don't want, so it produces that result. So our job as hypnotherapists and NLP practitioners is to help them define what they do want and then get them real clear about it and then alleviate some of the negative feelings that they have in the body so they can obtain it. Simply said.
Robert Harrison Yeah. And I think a major portion of that that is really important I think for people learning NLP or for practitioners using NLP is, do not underestimate the power of feeling it. There's a lot of focus on visualising what you want and being clear about that and what that would look like, but I think one of the main intentions behind having a person develop a very clear, in NLP we call it "internal representation" but it's the clear picture of what you really want, is doing it because in the process of doing that you actually get to "try it on" and it's like the difference between walking by a clothing store and seeing a dress on a manikin, for a woman, and trying it on.
John Santangelo: Right.
Robert Harrison: And once you try it on then it takes on a whole other level of realness. Then you find out how it works with you, and I'm a big believer that real useful business strategies, real useful life strategies fit into a persons life as their life really is right now. So the approach of having a person practice feeling ok in the midst of that gets them in their body and because consciously we can only pay attention to 7+/- two bits of information, right, if we didn't have that dash every couple of digits in our phone number we wouldn't be able to remember it, our unconscious is what's governing most of those behaviors and those things are outside of our awareness. Those things that are really that current that are pulling us along and the more you feel it, the more you start to get that unconscious working along with you. And that's been our experience. So, um, this is great. So what specific, give our listeners, if you can John, if I can just tax you to this, a specific tool that they can do like today when they get off listening to this iPod, ok, when they're done listening to the iPodcast? What is it that they can do today with one of their goals, to bring them a little bit closer to them, to make them a little bit more real?
John Santangelo: Well, two things. I'll give you two simple things, and one of them we've just been talking about is the visualization process. And I'll talk about that a little more in a second, but the first and most important thing is, when I work with people or any company, once we define what it is that they want, their goals, their vision or their itent is, what do you think, in the simplest forms would be ten action steps that you can take right away. But most of the time when I'm working with a client I have somebody call in and say, "Look, I'm stuck, blah, blah" and I say, "Ok, what's the problem, where do you want to go. We can find that" then I'll say, "Here's what I need you to do. I need you to write down 100 reasons why you're so committed to make this change." Because I think the power of why, the reasons why, will propel them and move them through any obstacles that they have. You know, the passion behind it. And once they do that, that really drives them forward because if they don't have a reason why they're going to do it, they'll stop before they even get started. So I have my clients give me ten action steps that you can do right now, I mean not like in the moment, but over the next couple of days or the week. And then once you commit and you've obtained those, then let's continue and keep going and keep going and we just continue that. I mean, the more they can write, obviously, the better. But what I've found is that most people can't handle too much information at once. If I say write down 100 action steps that's a completely different story. That overwhelms them. And it's the same thing with individuals losing weight. It's like wow they focus on 50 pounds. It's like, oh, forget it. It'll never happen. But if you focus on five or ten it's manageable. It's like the old saying is: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. You make it simple, a simple neccessary process that they can do every day. So coming back to that was, you know, what ten things that you can do right now, imediately, and then I'd take them through the process. Well, imagine what it would be like, and that's a powerful word, imagine what it would be like if you stepped into that and saw yourself achieving those ten things a week from now. How would that be? That's something anybody can do at any time. You can do it driving in the car. You can do it while conversing with somebody if your attention's distracted. Sitting by yourself. I mean, we do that. It's called trance work. We do that all the time. We space out and basically dream or visualize on a daily basis. Well, why not use that, why not use those patterns or those strategies to help you instead of hinder you.
Robert Harrison: Excellent. You know I think that the power of why, Viktor Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning really drove that point home, and he said, "When you have a powerful enough why, you can accomplish anything." And as you know he's the one that survived the Nazi prison camp. So, so that's good. What I hear saying is, write down ten action steps. Have them write down 100 reasons why to develop that powerful why, then start to develop that image. And of course I would add to that, that image with feeling. Real feeling. That's great. So, John, we need to take a quick break for our sponsors. This is Robert Harrison with "Coaching by the Life Coach". We're talking today with John Santangelo about practical NLP for everyday life. And we'll be right back.
Robert Harrison: All right, good. Hi everyone we're back. This is Robert Harrison with "Coaching by the Life Coach". Today we're talking about practical NLP that you can use to improve your everyday life, with John Santangelo. John, before the break we were talking about a simple success strategy and something that people can do right now. Taking a sheet of paper, writing down ten action steps. Writing 100 reasons why so they develop a powerful why. Then starting to develop that very strong visual image, with feeling, of actually having what they want. What are some other NLP tips and tidbits that people can just take and plug into their life today and make a positive difference?
John Santangelo: Well, I think the most important thing in life that I believe, and this is just my opinion, that we should be teaching our children at a very young age, is state management, how to manage your emotions because everything that we do comes down to, as you say Robert, how we feel about things. And the majority of times people are in such a negative state, it causes procrastination or the lack of prosperity or the lack of a good relationship or the lack of "fill in the blank". And managing your states is probably by far, for me in what I've seen in working companies and individuals over the last 20 years is really learning how to effectively produce confidence, produce high self-esteem in yourself. Produce massive amounts of motivation when you need it. And that, you know, NLP has taught us that everything's a recipe, everything's a strategy. And if you've done it before in your life you can create it again so it's just a matter of stepping back into that moment, seeing the pictures, feeling the feelings, hearing what you heard or the dialouge of yourself, your self-dialouge, and mimicking that again, as we may say, and stepping into it fully and feeling those feelings that caused that behavior to happen again. That is one of the most powerful tools that NLP has to offer. It's truly what we call anchoring and being able to develop those certain anchors. Now, Robert, you know this and you've probably said this to your listeners before, we have anchors that we fire off every day, the whole premise of Pavlovian conditioning. You know, we hear our favorite song on the radio and it puts us in a state of mind, or you're driving in the car and we see the red flashing light in the rearview mirror, it puts you in a panic state or anxiety state. We have anchors, naturally occurring anchors all the time, we've learned to create those positive anchors for ourselves to get us to do what we don't want to do. And those steps are, you know, I don't know if you've talked about them before, but they're actually simple to do. Go back to a time. Remember a time when you were in that specific state, whatever that label is you place on it. Step into it. See what you were seeing. See the pictures. What are you saying to yourself or to somebody else in the pictures that are talking to you? What are the feelings that you generate? Where are they located at in your body? Richard Bandller, one of the cofounders of NLP talks about this. He talks about like a synthesizer of the mind. Kind of your control panel of your brain. You know, jack up the feelings. Intensify like the knob on your oven or the dial on your stereo, turn it up a little bit and intensify those feelings because it is the feelings that cause us to behave or not to behave. And so when you can learn to go inside and work with that control panel of your brain, you are effective. You are powerful. That's where true power comes from. As Tony Robbins says, "Personal power. The ability to act."
Robert Harrison: Excellent. Now let's, I want to dive a little bit into this because now we are going from, for the NLP practitioners that are listening, from modalities to submodalities and there's an important distinction to be made here. And the distinction is between content and form. Now I am a firm believer, John, that one of the greatest gifts of neuro linguistic programming is that when you really start to study it and you start to learn it and you learn that you don't respond to reality, that you respond to your map of reality and that your map is made up by deleting, distorting and generalizing information, which means it's not accurate.
Robert Harrison: It's a perception and it's a perspective, and that through practicing simple NLP processes like changing your physical state, how you feel about something or changing the way something looks, it really, on the deeper level, really starts to anchor in this idea that meaning is truly subjective. And so many people believe that they are past down with their lot in life. That things are the way they are and what they're seeing in their mind is this real, static, permanent, never changing situation. And because of that, they're unable to act, they're unable to move. They believe that any attempt would be a total waste. And so, one of the cool things about NLP, and this is why I want to talk a little bit about now is, when you make the distinction between content and form, that's their content. Their story is their content, and we know that that's not real. But that's part of one way to get them to make that learning and make that connection is to teach them about form. So in NLP we talk about submodalities. We talk about, maybe there's a picture in your mind, that when you see that picture it gives you this yucky feeling or it gives you this yummy feeling. Well, you talked about jacking it up and turning up the knob. Let's talk about specifically how we can do that. Let's talk about submodalities, making a picture brighter of something that you really like and you feel better. Or you make it larger and it feels better. Or maybe it's a yucky picture and you make it smaller and it doesn't seem to feel so bad. Or you push it farther away or you make it black and white or you make it grainy. So can you talk a little bit about some submodalities that you find, John, make the biggest difference and that are really easy for people to apply?
John Santangelo: Yeah, let me give them a brief description of exactly what it is because you hit it on the head. It's the submodes or the submodalities, meaning what are the modalities that we work with? Well, we only have five: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory. Meaning sight, hearing, our feelings, our taste and smell. Now we primarily only work with three. Now I don't mean we as in like NLP practitioners, people in general. Unless you're let's say, a chemist or a perfumist and you work with your nose a lot. Or you're a chef and you work with your taste buds a lot. But most people don't, so we're primarily working with visual information coming in that we take in through our neurology, through our outside world, our hearing, how we hear things and the voices I guess we say, how we form those voices in our head, and also the feelings that are generated from those pictures and sounds. So primarily we're working with VAK, visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Now from those two, those three modalities, there's submodalities. So let's just take visual information for a minute. Your listeners can do this while I'm talking them through this. Make a picture of something in your head. Is the picture black and white or color? Is it near or far? Is it bright or dim? Where's the location of the picture in your mind eyes? Is it right in front of you? Is it off to the left? Is it up or down? Is it framed or panoramic? Is the picture moving or is it still? Is it 3D or flat? Now if we go to auditory you can say well, where's the location of the sound coming from? Is it coming towards you? Is it moving away from you? Is it on the right side? Is it the left side? Is it soft, meaning the volume, or is it loud? Is it internal, is the sound inside your head, or is it outside your head? Is there a cadence to it, a certain rythm? We talk about kinesthetic or feelings. Where is the feeling located in your body. That's so important. Is there a size to it and a shape? How about an intensity to it? A vibration? A weight? And all of that, all those submodalities make up, as Robert was saying, your map of how you perceive things because perception is projection. Because what we perceive inside our head is what we project on the outside world. I like to talk a lot about metaphors and then teach in metaphors, Robert. And one of the things that you said was so important a second ago was, it is our perceptions. Meaning if we had 50 people inside a movie theater and we all saw the same movie which, this is interesting, we all saw and physically heard the same amount of information. Everybody heard it and everybody saw it, but how we internalize it and use those submodalities to create the world that we think. Not one single person, if they were interviewed separately, would have the same map or perception of that movie, and some people, Robert, you know would kill, would kill to believe that they're right about their perceptions. And people do that all the time. You run into, you know, depression and anxiety because they believe that those perceptions are real for them.
Robert Harrison: So what we're learning here from you, John, is that, and what we're learning from NLP, folks, is that what you pay attention to makes a huge difference. Now this is where you can kind of start to dovetail. Some of the things that you hear about in movies like "The Secret", I know that was a really popular one, you can start to dovetail that in there. To give you an example, when my wife got pregnant with my son, suddenly I saw pregnant women everywhere I went. I saw_____________. I saw playgrounds. I saw children's hospitals. I saw tricycles. You know all this stuff was on my radar that hadn't been on my radar in years and years and years and years, if ever at all. And I didn't consciously ever set the intention to notice that, but that is what was on my mind. That was what I was paying attention to on the inside. And so, I think that an important success strategy is to A. like you were saying, be clear on what we want. And the best way to do that is to go how would you know when you have it. What would it look like? What would it feel like? What would it sound like? What would it taste like? How would it be when you wake up in the morning? How would it be when you go to bed at night? Get really clear on that and then practice paying attention to that on a daily basis because when you start to organize yourself around that suddenly you're going to get more of that. And they say that luck is just preparation and opportunity meeting at the crossroads. And I really believe that that's true. So, John, here's where I'd like to move into next. Now, for those listening there are a lot of people out there right now that are either concerned about the economy from an employee standpoint. Maybe they're currently working for an employer and they're wanting to make sure that if there are job reductions or job cuts that they're one of the few that stays around. Or maybe they're a business owner and they're worried about how to kind of, you know, leverage their kind of low risk, higher profit activities right now. What are some simple NLP techniques or principles that would be really useful for those people right now so that they can kind of, you know, advance themselves professionally, let's just say. Or fortify themselves professionally. Or get the most out of their professional interactions, so that they increase their chances of being successful, of maybe getting that promotion or just running their business optimally right now.
John Santangelo: That's a great question and great timing for that right now too, Robert. You know there's so much fear, I guess you could say a lack of confidence in our economy, not just our economy, I mean global economies and the marketplace of the world. And you know, because we are so powerful, I believe, still in the world economy we affect everyone else's economy. And what I keep hearing from companies, from the organizations and corporations I work with is it's a lack of confidence. And that's unfortunate. It's not that there is any more lack of money in the world. The money is still, it's not like, you know, a quarter of a trillion dollars just disappeared off the planet. The money is still circulating in our environment. It's just a matter of, are people spending it, and that comes from a mindset. So that again, I keep coming back to state management. And the companies I work with I say this to them, "Why did you stop advertising? Why did you stop marketing? Why did you stop treating your customers as gold? Because it is the ones that now, like we know, you go back to 1929-1930, in the Depression, the people, the individuals, the organizaions that became more successful than anyone else are the ones that took advantage, as you just said, of the opportunity. They were prepared and they took the opportunity, they took the risk and they moved forward. And that is again confidence, risk. That comes down to how you feel about yourself. And if any organization, I mean any organization, I don't care who it is because you probably do this too, Robert, on a constant basis, where you walk into let's say the bank or the grocery store or a company and you see people behind the desk that have no passion for their life and they bring that into their work environment. And so now that's transcended into, "Wow, this company sucks. These people don't like their job. They hate their life." Are you going to go back there again? No. You're going to find another place because everything we do is based upon a feeling, how you feel in the moment. And you're going to go back to places where you feel good about yourself and the places that you're spending your money, and the confidence of spending your money. So one thing I tell companies is, "Don't forget the people from the mail room. Don't forget the people at the bottom. They're your greatest asset." One of the sayings that I have is, "A companys greatest assets are their customers." Treat your customers as if they're yours and coninue that. And that comes back to the CEO, whoever's running the organization. What's your mission statement? What are your action steps? And then involve everyone. Get everyone on your side. Get everyone on the ball, to say, on the map. Get them going. Make them feel good. Give them input. Help them drive their passion for your business. Even if you're a single sales person, the same thing. You know, Jeffrey Gitomer, all his sales books, now he mainly talks, all he's focusing on right now is state management. How you feel about yourself and your customers. That will drive your success. And I truly believe that. That's one of the things that I'm talking about now in "Sales Magic" on the Podcast that you mentioned at the beginning of this show. Really it is, if you can control your state and you can manage your emotions effectively, you're going to be more successful. That bottom line is the key to all successful individuals. Anyone that you've interviewed, anyone that's been interviewed, anyone that's achieved any kind of success is only based upon how they feel about what they're doing and themselves and the people around them.
Robert Harrison: That's true. You know you bring up a really good point about that, and I think it's _________ since we're talking about how people can really thrive today. One of the beautiful aspects of nuero liguistic programming is that, you know, we live right now in, you could call it an attention deficit society. In an urban environment, we're bombarded with one million pieces of advertising every day and those are the deliberate and the obvious ones. Then there's all the other personal agendas and there are all the other currents and waves. And you know there's that old saying that an airplane between LA and New York changes its course a hundred times because of the different wind currents and the things that knock it off course. NLP, a metaphor to think about this, folks, is it's like a lighthouse. When you get clear about what you want and how, you know, when you have it, it gives you something to focus on. It gives you a focal point. And people, you know, we see this more and more in corporate consulting these days, are companies are losing massive amounts of time because people are having a difficult time staying focused. People are not as productive in their personal life because they're not focused on what's most important. And so I think that having powerful tools for getting clear on what you want, critical. I think having good assessment tools or having people like a good NLP coach that can assess where your at and maybe point out areas of your life to work on that maybe you're not even aware of, can make a huge, huge difference. So, John, before we wrap up for the day, this has just been awesome, and I encourage everyone listening, especially if you run a business or if you do any kind of sales or just if you want to really improve your communication, definitely check out "Sales Magic" on PersonalLifeMedia.com. And also check out JohnSantangelo.com. He's got a lot of great offerings there and, you know, I think your presentation style's really good and I think it's very, very clean. And before we wrap up is there any final nuggets of wisdom that you would have to share with our guests on, you know, maybe where to start with NLP, maybe the first book they can read, you know, there's a lot of controversy over, you know, "Are there really any good books about NLP out there?" But like final nuggets of wisdom and next steps for our listeners.
John Santangelo: That's a great question and let me just reframe it by saying this: I'm presupposing here that anyone listening to this program is always growing, always achieving their lives. If your not listening to this, which you wouldn't be hearing it anyway, you have everything and your life is perfect. Then you don't need any self-development work. The best people, the best ones, the best athletes, the best business people, all of them have coaches. I have a coach. I'm always wanting to grow and move ahead. You too, Robert, I know that. Just in your business, you're growing by learning more in what you do. And so seek out people that know more than you or someone which NLP is based upon, modeling. If you want to make more money, find someone that's making that kind of money. If you want to lose weight, find someone that's lost the weight. Learn their beliefs and the strategies that they use for their success. So I'm always encouraging people, whether it be me or anyone else, I don't care if it's from me, go somewhere, find someone, find something to do. And as you said there's great books. One of them is by Joseph O'Conner. It's a simple book, Introduction to NLP. Robert, you know that there's not one book could explain everything. It's so complicated and so intense, NLP as a methodology, you need to really, as Tony Robbins says, "immerse yourself in the experience to get it into the muscle, and learn how to use it on a continual basis." Tony Robbins' first book Unlimited Power is a great basis for information. You know, there's a lot of good videos out there that have simplistic forms of learning NLP, but if you're truly curious about how to move your life in the direction that you choose, that's choice, that's coming down to decision, deciding, that's what the Greek word is- decides to cut off all other options and to move in the direction that you choose, is to gather information. You know, fill your brain with books and tapes and CDs and surround yourself with people that are going to make a difference. Listen. Go to Personal Life Media. There's great Podcasts on there to help you in every aspect of your life. Become a student of life again. That's how you learned. Even learning to ride a bike and driving your car. My girfriend and I were talking about this last night, How do children learn? They learn by doing. They don't learn by watching. They don't learn by listening. They learn by listening, reading and doing the information. So become a student of your life again and learn what it's all about to become passionate about your life and moveing in the direction that you truly want to end up in. Because I believe this, Robert, as a whole. Life's so damn short. It really is and it goes by. The older you get, as you were saying you're going to have child and that baby's going to become a year old and then grow up and be a teenager, and it goes by in the blink of an eye. And you're going to look back and go, "Where did it all go? Where did my life go to? Boy, if I had to live it over again, what would I do different?" You know, as Brian Tracey says, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?" That's a great thing to keep like, literally it's posted on my desk. What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail? Every day keep that in mind. It drives your passion about what's really important to you. And then surround yourself with people and the loved ones and the family and the friends that are going to help you achieve that success, because that's all it is. Life in a nutshell. Hopefully we live 75-80 years and you've accomplished things. An old man on his deathbed said to me one day? He says "You know what I have right now, John, as I'm dying?" I said, "I don't know. What is it?" He said, "Memories. I've got memories. And I want you to create good ones in your life too." And that really touched me. That made a difference in my life because, what kind of memories am I creating right now? Am I living in would of, could of, should of? Or am I living the life that I truly want to create every day? And the only way to do that is to gain the information to move you in the direction that you want to go in. And surround yourself and learn from the people that have the information whether you can get it for free, because there's a lot of free stuff out there, or if you have to pay for and learn from people like us, and really dive into it and become passionate about your life. That I think, Robert, is the secret to life.
Robert Harrison: Yeah. You may delay, but time will not. And you said something really important, John, and psychology is noticing this. It's always been true, but in the field of psychology they're noticing this more and more now, and it's the power of your environment. This is one of the reasons why going to a workshop or a seminar can be so powerful. There's a very famous saying that says, "Show me your five closest friends, and I'll show you who you really are." And there's another saying that is by Thoreau that says, "I cannot hear what you're saying, because who you are speaks so loudly." So folks I'm going to leave you with this This is a Benjamin Franklin quote since we're running on a lot of quotes here today. "Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good habits." So if you use a powerful technology like NLP, use it for good. Use it to develop good, powerful habits that deliver the kind of good results that you want for yourself and that you want for the world. John, real quickly, how can people get a hold of you if they want to learn more about you and your services and what you offer?
John Santangelo: The simple way is go the website JohnSantangelo.com or call my office at 888-NLP-COACH and we'll talk or I've got a lot of free worksheets and workbooks I can send you. And if you're interested, give me a call, we'll chat. Robert, again, thanks so much buddy. Great conversation. It was a pleasure meeting you.
Robert Harrison: Excellent. Thanks for being on the show, John. Everyone, this has been "Coaching by the Life Coach" with Robert Harrison and our guest today John Santangelo. Stay tuned. We look forward to talking with you next week. Send me an email to [email protected] if you are interested in getting some personal coaching or some professional coaching directly from me on the show. We're going to start doing drill down sessions here very, very soon. And if you'd also like to just be a guest on the show or find out just more information, please feel free to stop on by and do that. You can also go to my website at ProfessionalsEdge.com and as John said there is a free audio on there called "Introduction to the Professional's Edge Model." I want to thank you for being on the show, John. It's a wonderful day everyone. Go get outside and enjoy life.
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