Episode 111: True Love Available, Here and Now (Part One) with Bernie Prior

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Hear Dr. Patti talk to Bernie Prior, tantric master here on tour from New Zealand, about men and women, the true nature of polarity, and how to keep love growing. Why does it get stuck? How can we move beyond the mundane. What is the nature of the true feminine and masculine? Why do women want to be seen? And why are the sexiest men alive the ones who know how to do this? Doesn’t ego get in the way? How does all this translate into the best lovemaking ever? A profound, beautiful, and inspiring show!

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show. I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of expanded lovemanking.com, and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This is part one of a two part show. Today we’re talking about true loves deepest calling to each of us. You know, men and women are always in a dance of relationship, and it’s pretty obvious why. We have so much that’s different from each other, even if we do have similarities. Well how do we make the most of our attractions? How do we keep our relationships fresh and exciting? How do we get down to even deeper levels of truth, those levels where spirit and even the essence of God reveals itself? Here to answer these questions is a true tantric master. We’re so lucky to have as our special guest Bernie Prior, here on tour from

New Zealand

. So welcome Bernie.

 

Bernie Prior: Hi Patti. It’s good to be here.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, it’s so great to have you here. So let me tell you a little bit about Bernie. Going through a series of ever deepening realizations, from the age of 19 Bernie Prior has opened up into the pure nature of himself and humanity, pure consciousness. He’s been inspired to share his realizations and has given talks globally to those who seek peace, freedom, love and truth. So lets get started. I’d like to lay some foundations. And so what is you main point in terms of where you start when you talk about men and women? I mean where do you get started? It seems like so much of a vast topic.

 

Bernie Prior: Well first off, don’t we just get started by the pull of attraction. So there’s something that attracts us like. So, you know, when you look across the street, a guy looks across the street at woman, there’s something that attracted him. Now it’s going to be his discovery whether what attracted him was some old pattern stuck in his subconscious somewhere or whether the light of the pure feminine was his attraction; that’s the whole deal, isn’t it, you know. Is that what’s attracting him? Because if it is maybe he’s going to cross the street and discover, “Well, there’s something pure and something incredibly beautiful that’s just attracted me to this woman”, so that’s how it gets started.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I think we’re just right off to the races. What is it that’s attracting that man? Is it the light of the pure woman or is it, as they say, projection? Is it sort of that he’s really seeking the recreation of his mom or his past memories that he’s trying to sort of reenact, etcetera. So what is it that actually is pulling that man towards that woman? Or is it testosterone or….

 

Bernie Prior: There’s so many things. I mean that’s the whole point in this because that’s the whole point of attraction, is to discover what’s the root of attraction. Surely if at the root of attraction, God or essence or love or truth, whatever you want to call our sources, is at the root of all real attraction, then we’re going to, we’re going to purify our body, our mind, our sexuality through heading towards that route. You know, it’s not a easy thing to do to head towards the route of an attraction because on the way you’re going to discover some pretty painful things too.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: That’s true. Somebody said to me the other day that if a woman walked into a bar and said, “Okay, I’m ready to go home and sleep with someone tonight”, she’d have some pretty good chances of walking out of there with a pretty good looking guy, and if a guy walked into that same bar and said, “Okay, I’m ready to go home with a woman in here tonight”, you know, he might get booted out of the bar. So there are differences between what men and women can do, and you know… So I think that, what is it that is real in terms of what men and women know is true and what is it that is just our unconscious patterns or our hormones or that kind of thing?

 

Bernie Prior: Well as you can see over already, this is, this is a big major subject, you know, to look into our true sexuality because it’s a really open to woman, a woman that’s already experiencing more of a real light, a real light of love, is she going to walk into a bar and need to even get a guy, you know. A guy’s going to be falling over on her email, on a phone down the street, because she’s going to be the core of real universal attraction, so is that type of woman going to do that. And is a guy that’s really deep, is he going to really be looking for a woman in a bar and just lay down any woman? To me what we’re looking at here is different stages of development of the masculine and feminine and how that reflects in their port of attraction, whether they would go in a bar, as you said, or they’re the kind of men and women that actually know that this power that’s beginning to awaken in their heart and within their sexuality, it’s going to do its own thing; they need not go and seek it, lights going to pull it together.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. So I really like where we’re going with this. So this sort of begs the question then, can you define for us what would be some qualities of a woman – lets start with a woman – that would be further along the path of development?

 

Bernie Prior: Okay, well, more than like a woman that’s further along the path, she’s been in relationship and she’s had her heart broken several times, you know quite often, that she’s been, she’s had relationships that have been basically for herself, for her own ego. She needs, she wants love outside of herself; she wants to be held emotionally and sexually for herself, for her limited sense of self. So every man and every woman’s going to have to go through this for, you know, this separate sense of self that wants a man, wants the woman, wants sex, wants to be made love to, wants to be held, wants to be seen, wants to be known, that’s the first, one of the first stages that everyone will go through, and how actually painful that is because eventually maybe we discover that that initial developmental stage of our attraction, our sensuality doesn’t have it’s roots in a profound reality of light, love, value and real purpose; real love in other words. That will come after we’ve done enough of that initial first stage, after we’ve seen, “Hey this isn’t working, trying to get a man for myself in terms of my ego, in terms of the physical”, that love and pure sexuality goes a hell of a lot deeper than just the physical, just the senses. Do you follow that? So we have to go through a certain amount of mental, emotional pain before we get that first stage over and see that the guy that we’re attracted to – ‘cause we’re speaking about women, you asked about women – the guy’s that we’re attracted to are still some mental image may be passed down from my parents, maybe society, maybe from my own, my own old sexuality, I want a man for myself, for my limited self; that would be the discovery. And how much pain and problem that causes woman, that she knows there’s a deeper calling in her for something deeper, vast and more genuine and that will be the next stage.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So what would be some of the signs that you would notice if you were a woman – maybe you’re listening to this show right now and you’re going, “Hmm, how would I know if that’s me or not?” Would there be an emptiness inside of you or a feeling that this relationship is not satisfying, or is it possible, for example, that you might be in a really satisfying relationship and yet it’s still egoically based?

 

Bernie Prior: Yeah, that’s true. Lets just stay with that one for a moment, Patti, that…. Yeah, you can be in a satisfying relationship, satisfying to your own personalized comfort zones, because when we start to go deeper or higher into the next level of pure sexuality into the real domain of what love is coming through, the sexual domain, then what was once comfortable is going to get pretty uncomfortable in that it will be far too shallow and we’ll be calling for something with a lot more freshness, purpose, aliveness and less graspiness. So yeah, as we leave those old comfort zones into a totally new and unknown place, it’s not an easy place to go to, mainly because that old comfort zone totally included, absolutely was inclusive of the known only, where the new place you’d be heading to is totally unknown. It’s not somewhere that you’ve been before; you don’t know what the territory’s going to be like, you’re looking in a whole new place all together.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so what I’m hearing you say is that, as a generalization there’s a, when there’s a sense of real comfort, often that’s a sign that it’s an egoic based relationship, but isn’t it possible that you could have a very comfortable relationship and be going into the unknown, I mean, if your partner is matching you?

 

Bernie Prior: I would say comfort begins to deepen. It’s like you don’t need the old shallow comforts that you used to have, that you start to move into a finer place – lets say, lets just say for, to get this across that maybe you needed to see them 24 hours a day 7 days a week and that was the kind of comfort that was demanding, that you wanted to know, “Why? What’s going on? Don’t you love me anymore?”, that kind of energy. But when you’re moving to something a lot deeper, then this begins to include, lets just say, a finer realm – you could even call it a spiritual realm – of yourself, that place within the woman, that place within the man prior to existence, you know. I call this the pure feminine, pure masculine, where there’s less and less need to have the bodies around in terms of 24 hours 7, you know, less and less need for that, and more and more calling for something finer to happen coming through the bodies into the sexual arena, into the way we make love, into the way we address our lives together, that something’s got to start to happen that has a living loving reality about it, that’s not just limited to sense, to senses.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, well I want to find out way more about this, and so please stay with us, I’m guess our listeners do to. We’re talking to Bernie Prior, and we will be right back. And you can learn more about Bernie Prior at his website, bernieprior.org. And I also want to say he has some other episodes on our show, which are episodes 25, 62 and 61, so you can go back and also check out some of his other great shows right on Expanded Lovemaking show. So please stay with us.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor, and we’ve been talking to Bernie Prior about true loves deepest calling to each of us. And I’m getting really excited and really curious about the mechanisms by how this all works. So we’ve been talking about how we really know – or actually this is what I was wondering is how we really know when this shift would take place to, that we might be entering into a new phase as a woman. I’ll get to the men pretty soon, but as a woman how would we know that maybe things weren’t so comfortable anymore?

 

Bernie Prior: A woman begins to touch on something a lot finer. She doesn’t want the grossness of mind, the grossness of a touch that’s coming from a heavier place. She wants to feel and know the depth of a man, where he is in his consciousness, where he is in the divine, where is he reaching inside himself and in the display of his life, where is that. And why does she want to know that? Why does she want to experience that? Simply because depending on where a man reaches her from is where she discovers new places that she can open to inside herself. So a man’s always going to go to a place in a woman, lets just say if he’s a real man, if he’s a man that’s pulled to the first light he saw in the woman. I’ve just been speaking recently that I’m saying when the man really sees the light of the feminine, she’s really being seen, that then that light that he’s seen is actually a light that’s in the future. It’s not the light of where she is at right now; it’s her potential to exist as that light in their relationship. Do you follow? I mean, it’s pretty amazing to hear that, that light is our potential. That the man is being drawn to bring to the woman a whole new depth of opening in her love as she’s being drawn to take him through her opening of that light to a whole new depth of the way he sees and experiences himself and her. So when we first engaged as light of the feminine, it’s actually not what’s embodied now, it’s the incredible potential of light, love and pure sexuality on an entirely new sphere of relationship. Do you see what I mean? That’s pretty amazing.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I really (unintelligible) and I love what you’re saying ‘cause it’s actually really fresh. I really haven’t heard that before in that way and I think something else I’m getting from what you’re saying to answer my question is this can happen anytime; it can happen five minutes after you meet someone that this, if I hear you correctly, that this shift could happen, I mean it can happen the moment you meet someone that they just see you in a way that no one else has ever seen you before and suddenly you’re another person and it’s like “Wow, this person gets me in this whole new way and they’ve opened me up.” Or you could be with someone and just say, “I need to go to this new level and it’s either going to be with this person or not because I’ve evolved and shifted”, and that could be ten minutes after you meet them or a year after, and they’re either going to follow – and we’re sticking with the woman right now, we’re going to get to the men in a minute -  or it can be ten years, but all of a sudden you need to shift or you’ve shifted and boom, it’s like, it’s that shift and they’re either going to be with you or not.

 

Bernie Prior: This is the constant invitation of real love and pure sexuality, that the invitation to evolve into a new woman and a new man constantly. So it’s a constant evolution of the feminine, of the masculine; of their intelligence, of their consciousness, of their activity, a constant evolution. So what would happen in that scenario, we’ve just spoken about, where the guy sees the woman’s light, so that light I’m saying is in the future. So that will have to lift up his game, lift up the way that he sees that woman, the way that he sees all women, because to reach that kind of light and experience that in his lovemaking, experience that in his life, experience that woman, he’s going to have to change where he’s come from. Do you see what I mean? So then in reaching to the light, so he’s in awed, you know, jaw droppingly in awed of this light that he’s seeing in woman, and her calling is going to be, “Okay well, if this is real and you’re man enough, then come. Come and meet me where you see that light, where you see…” Now this is a big thing because to reach that light both of them are going to go through possibly hell, because that light is also going to be obscured in many, many different ways by old patterns, both of the male and female variety in both of them. Do you see what I mean? So that’s evolution. That’s the pull.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: I get so turned on just when I think about people meeting each other, ‘cause I think there’s so, it’s just where it’s at, and I think you’re right; that’s the real challenge. We all want to be met, and it’s so hard. So I want to get back to that and I want to get to the men, but I have this one question about the future that’s just sticking in my head, which is when I hear you use the word ‘future’ I always think about hologram, and I wonder, is there really such a thing as the future or is that some kind of other way of just saying that we’re in this hologram or world where the past, present and future are kind of, are all collapsed and the present is, you know, we’re kind of consciously recognizing the future as just the potential, and as the man sees the potential, what you’re - is that another word for the future? Is just potential… I mean the future sort of feels like the unrec… I mean…

 

Bernie Prior: Yes, because I’m not speaking of a future that is knowable. I’m not speaking of some projection of a dream, some projection of an idea. I’m saying that regardless of what man and woman is drawn together, I’m speaking in the context of this is the only man and the only woman that actually is in the universe doing this. So it’s not a name, it’s not some name of Sally or John, you know. You’ve got to be so naked that all that’s standing here nakedly doing this is a man and a woman, the pure feminine and masculine, all the shields, everything falling away and all that remains is the potential of a new moment of experiencing what the feminine is, what the masculine is; that’s the new thing. Right there and then, what is that? What is it when two beings get together in such a way that their identity falls away, what remains and what’s created? So that’s what we’re looking at. So, you know, that first stage of woman, that would have to go because she would have so many patterns formed, patterns from her parents, from her mothers mothers mothers, hanging around there. So this is a deadly game, this sexuality. It’s a deadly game; it’s not for the faint and weak hearted. Real sexuality is not because it calls you to be absolutely authentic and on the edge and on the line, whether you’re a man or a woman, it calls you to be completely brand new and let everything else die.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So what… yeah, I get it; what you’re saying is pretty radical. If I were to take you at your word here, what you’re saying is at it’s best. Lets say it were you and me, Bernie – and not to say we’re not doing this right here and now in this interview – but if I were to take you at your word, a man and woman meeting at their most profound essence, would drop away at such a profound level, there would be nothing left except pure essence; no story, just pure essence of a female energy and the male energy, and it would be so profound that they would literally be representations of universal energy…

 

Bernie Prior: And consciousness, that’s right, yeah. But then lets move into the domain then of evolution with that, because you know, we would come right back to the role ground of what really is exciting and who we really are. But that then, that experience would not be in existence. That experience would be in reality that hasn’t had the existence. So to come right back, you would’ve left the ground of becoming, you would’ve left the ground of existence where all forms are, you would’ve gone into reality where there’s only light, right, so there’s not existences yet. So then from that place can that spill and flow in to where consciousness has, is evolving as intelligence. So could that move into the intelligence, into the way of life as a man and a woman fresh and new with intelligence? So it’s got to, you’ve got to have intelligence in this, otherwise it’s a mess. If there’s no intelligence… In other words, intelligence, there’s knowing what is happening, knowing what’s being created here; that’s what intelligence is. It’s to really know this is this, this is what this is.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. And embodiment obviously because otherwise there’d be no men and no women, right?

 

Bernie Prior: Yeah, intelligence is the embodiment of both the masculine and feminine; that’s what intelligence is. It embodies, intelligence embodies what the pure essence of source as man and woman is. So this would be an embodied intelligence moving as love, opened as love, flowing as love, knowing as love on every level. And then responding from that in existence, so then your life would not be what we have currently in our culture and in our societies, where we’re worrying about dollars, where we’re worrying about others, where we’re worrying who’s going to invade, you know, our life, who’s going to invade, you know. This survival mechanism that we all experience, men and women are here to go beyond that survival mechanism and to bring a radical shift in the way that we relate to ourselves as divine beings, as men and women.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, well I have a lot now that I have - I have a list, it’s getting longer and longer. Please stay with us. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am talking with Bernie Prior, and we will be right back, I promise, I promise. You can learn more about Bernie Prior at bernieprior.org, and I’m going to spell that for you, b-e-r-n-i-e-p-r-i-o-r, dot org. So please stay with us. We will be right back.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor and we’re talking about loves deepest calling to each of us. And so we’re talking about intelligence and embodiment, and lets talk about the man. Just to sum up, we were talking about the woman, and you might just give a one-minute Cliff notes summary on the woman, and then just sort of talk about what the man is so that, how do we embody this intelligence as men and women, men and women?

 

Bernie Prior: Okay, well lets just, lets just finish off on woman at the moment, as it were, is that there’s not a woman that does not want to be seen. Even if she’s hiding and pretending, she doesn’t want to be seen; she’s saying, “Please remove the covers. Please remove the wrappings. Please remove the walls. I want to be seen, but I’m frightened of being seen.” Do you follow? So she really wants to be seen because that’s the whole nature of light and forms is a glowing response, say, “See me.” But then it’s also a calling, not just to be seen, but to be known. So it’s, “See me, see me. I’m here. I’m the light of love itself”, you know. But now “Know me”. So now “Know me” means, “Experience me as exactly who I really am as that that you’ve seen.” So this is the whole time moving into new domains where to really see the feminine at core, then there can be no story in history in it. To really see her she cannot contain a history and he cannot go towards her to really be able to see her and experience her with his history, that’s the whole point. So then when he really sees her and when he’s really willing to know her on a deeper level, now you’ve got real evolution of the feminine and of the masculine taking place because she’s dying to be seen, and it’s just a question of whether being seen and then experiencing her in pure knowingness, whether both are willing to give up the old charades that they’ve played so that they can really experience in terms of their lovemaking, in terms of their relationship, in terms of that will bless this earth, how to allow that whole new feminine be conducted entirely through the body.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I think that’s so beautiful. I mean I, that’s always been my issue. I love that feeling of being seen as so exquisite and delicious for me, and, you know, back to our story about being in the bar; I mean, you know, the woman who’s really being seen probably doesn’t need to go to a bar because, you know, she’s probably attracting men from everywhere because that’s such an attractive force is a woman that will allow herself to be seen and…

 

Bernie Prior: Well it’s a power. And it’s a power that you can use to maintain your separate existence, your egoity, or it’s a power that you can give away to literally heal everyone in the light of what you’re giving away.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. So that’s the woman’s side, if she will own and claim that, that she wants to be seen.

 

Bernie Prior: Yeah. If she truly wants to be seen then she’s got to go through those parts of herself that still refuse to be seen, you know. That’s the evolutionary part. There’s always an evolutionary part in true sexuality and true attraction because what we’re evolving here, we’re evolving the masculine, the feminine, we’re evolving the masculine and feminine intelligence, the masculine and feminine emotion even, we’re evolving the whole vehicle that has a potential of conducting through it the entire universe as men and women.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Now the men who are the seers, I have two thoughts here: on the one hand I’m sure our men listeners are thinking, “Well hey, I want to be seen too”, and then my other thought is the men that are really making love successfully, the best lovers are the ones that know how to really see into a woman. So how would you answer those men that are thinking, “Hey, I want to be seen too”, and, you know, of course what do they need to do to get the beauty of becoming a seer?

 

Bernie Prior: Okay, well we’re going to really speak here about pure polarity, because in the bedroom is there’s not pure polarity. So in other words if man isn’t opening to his depth of consciousness and willing to claim the woman with everything that he’s got without any fears and doubts, then he’s not in true polarity. In other words, if he’s claiming the woman, but he still has fears and doubts in him because he’s not being seen – so then he’s off balance, he’s off kilter, he’s not being pure masculine, which is the nothingness just claiming everything that she is and pulling everything she is back into nothingness. So there will have to be true polarity, and true polarity, this would be a practice of course in terms of a man reaching a woman and at the same time dissolving his attachment to how his past life was - you know, he’s got to keep letting that go and he’s got to move towards her fearlessly and not use his mind to claim her, but use his heart, use his consciousness, use everything that’s real in him, not his history.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: That’s kind of sexy, you know. Translation, he doesn’t have his attention on himself.

 

Bernie Prior: Absolutely, no attention on himself. His whole attention is on her. Now if there’s men listening, there’s nothing that they enjoy more to give their woman’s body and let her consciousness, her eyes, her breasts, her whole body being the full attention. So it’s a conscious, it’s his consciousness that’s doing the seeing, the knowing, the claiming and the lovemaking. So it’s so impersonal, and yet it moves into a personal realm, so that will grow the personal realm. So when a woman’s really seen, she’s seen with the eyes of God, she’s seen with the heart of God. She’s not seen from a separate sense to man. When she’s really seen she knows God’s seeing her and God is having her.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So we’re going to get more into this. I just have to say as a woman, a woman knows when a man is seeing into her and has his attention on her. You can feel it all the way down to the core of your bone marrow and way deeper than that; you just feel it, and it’s the sexiest most attractive turned on thing imaginable.

 

Bernie Prior: Well it’s because when the man is really being the depth of consciousness everything that the feminine is is opened and displayed. She keeps displaying herself on levels she didn’t even know she was capable of having in her. She just opens and opens and opens; more light, more love, more juiciness, more everything that she is begins to open because the man’s consciousness is so deep, it’s just peeling her back layer after layer, and of course this is the eternal one and only event that’s really going on in this universe, that’s the depth of the masculine peeling back the light of the feminine, constantly opening and revealing the more of what she is and the depth of what he is.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: And I will have to say that wouldn’t a woman see him better too?

 

Bernie Prior: Absolutely. When a man is being so selfless in this way, then woman begins to literally bow down at his feet, as it were, not to the man, but to the depth that’s pouring through him, and it’s a great respect that the man can give up himself to reach everything that a woman is even though that she knows she’s Pandora’s Box, he knows she’s Pandora’s Box – in other words, everything’s going to come out and its going to, you know, what’s come out in terms of old sexuality, old egoity, past pain, it’s going to touch him on some level and it’s got to go through him. He’s got to be nothing enough, man enough to let that go through him; that’s not an easy thing.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Talk about how to keep a relationship thriving and vital and gorgeous. Wow! I can’t wait to go have some relationships as soon as I get off this interview. Anyway, we are going to have to bring this program to a close. Fortunately we do have a part two; I am so excited, I want to hear more and also how to continue on using some of this stuff, not only in the bedroom, but also how do we evolve the consciousness of the planet, and I think the two are actually connected.

 

Bernie Prior: Absolutely, the same thing.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Same thing, yes. So before we do close out the show I invite you to leave our listeners with a parting inspiring thought for the day.

 

Bernie Prior: For the day?

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Or night.

 

Bernie Prior: Okay, well for the women, the women can learn to radically stay open and everything that they know is true inside themselves will come out and glow. The men can learn to truly give to this life everything that they know they are in the deep, and they will become powerfully deep and real.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Got that everybody? Thank you so very much. We have been talking with Bernie Prior, and you can find out more about Bernie Prior, he’s got some wonderful CD’s, DVD’s at his website. He also offers retreats to Fiji and all over the world, and you can also hear more of him at episodes 25, 61 and 62; so this is a man, a tantric master with so much for us to learn from. And I’ll spell his name, b-e-r-n-i-e-p-r-i-o-r, dot org. We’re so lucky to have had him on our show. Thank you so much for coming on today.

 

Bernie Prior: Thank you Patti. It’s been beautiful.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: It absolutely has been beautiful. So this is Dr. Patti Taylor. Thank you so much for listening. Please send me email at [email protected]. For text and transcripts of this show and other shows, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com. And if you haven’t already please be sure to subscribe to the Expanded Lovemaking show to get automatic updates. You can also subscribe to Expanded Orgasm on Face Book. So that’s all for now. I remain yours in expanded lovemaking, and I’ll see you next week.