Episode 109: Sacred Shamanic Sex for Women (Part One) with Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake

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In this show you will find out why shamanic massage for women is so much more than you may have imagined. Listen in as Dr. Patti meets with Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake, co-founders of yabyummy.com, who have created pioneering work in non-goal oriented, heart opening, full body, full being ways for men and women to connect to have those truly rich and powerful, luscious experiences. How do they define the word shamanic? Why is it so important to be non-goal-oriented when giving a massage? How would you actually give a woman a yoni (genital) massage? Why are the breasts so important as a place to include? What are some of the types of touches you can use? What are some of their own experiences in developing this work? Get lots of juicy details in this show!

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show. I’m your host Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com, and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This part one of a two part series. And today we’re talking about sacred shamanic sex for women. All too often these days sex is practically a fast food experience. We have an hour, we want to have sex, and we start from there, but what do we do? So can we have a new totally different kind of experience, rather than fast food sex? Can we have something where sex was whole being and sensual, profound, a window to our souls, even a deep healing journey? Enter the shamanic realm. Are you ready to connect with your partners here? Well showing how today are our guests, Steven Jay and Kypris Drake. I’m so pleased to welcome you both to our show. Welcome.

 

Kypris Drake: Thank you Patti.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm, thank you so much. Good to be here.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. I’m going to scratch that, first thing, it’s Kypris, right?

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, and it’s also, I’m switching too and this is new to Dr. Steven Jay.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake. So I’m going to just go back to I’m so pleased to welcome you to our show today, Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake. Alright. I’m so pleased today Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake. Welcome.

 

Kypris Drake: Thank you.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm. Thank you so much.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. Well let me tell you a little bit about Kypris and Steven. Kypris Drake is the author of Journey To Sexual Wholeness: Six Gateways to Tantric Sexuality and the creator of the Six Gateways system for teaching and learning sacred sexual practice. Dr. Steven Jay is a PhD physicist who combines this with many years experience in Zen Buddhism, the Alexander Method and nature to create healing practices. So separately and together they do coaching, healing and counseling from their home city of San Diego. Now our first show then we’ll be talking about what can we do to bring a woman pleasure, healing, sexual awakening and joy - just to name a few experiences - bringing in shamanic techniques. So lets get started. I have a few questions; lets just take them in any order. Maybe we’ll start with shamanic, yeah, and… yeah, lets go with that.

 

Kypris Drake: Okay. So can you repeat the question for me Patti?

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well lets just even back up from there. You want to just tell us about what is your particular entrée into the whole world of tantra. Where do you see yourselves as fitting in? What is your particular passion for coming in and teaching people about sensuality?

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah. That’s a really good question, ‘cause really there’s so many different flavors of sacred sexuality that are available for people to learn from. And where I really see my strength is in really integrating the spiritual work with the sexual work. So creating an alignment within a person for sexuality, for creating a loving heart and for having a strong sexual practice, and having all of those sort of weaved together so that the practices that I offer to my students are not only focused on enhancing sexuality, but also focused on enhancing all of life.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. And Steven, you want to add to that?

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Well sure. You know, as, yeah, I mean we have a sensualized focus and Kypris sort of really beautiful, described that really beautifully. But the thing that’s really nice about working with Kypris, so the two of us working together, is that we get to bring the concepts of relationship into the work as well. So we have this, you know, I have the masculine point of view and Kypris has the feminine point of view, and so not only do we get to practice this within our own tantric relationship…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: but we also get to take what we learned and bring it into the real world with real practical, you know, examples on how do you bring this into relationship and really, you know, being able to focus then on both the man and the woman so that you can create this union.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, super. So could you tell us a little bit, Kypris you said that you are the creator of the Six Gateways system. Can, what is that?

 

Kypris Drake: Well…

 

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well in a… there’s probably a large question, maybe just, you know….

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah, in a nutshell, yeah, of course. Yes. Well obviously, yeah, it’s a 246 page book, but… It started out as my students asking me in the very beginning when I first started to teach tantra and they were like, they were asking me “What can I do at home? What are the practices that I can bring into my everyday life?” And so I created a little booklet in the beginning and as I started to create the booklet I started to receive, I don’t know, information or bring it up for, bring information up from the inside of myself, however you want to look at it, and to create a series of practices that felt important to me to begin the practice of sacred sexuality. And over time that grew into six sets of tools, so you can almost think of it as a series of six toolkits that you can open up as you progress along your journey, and each toolkit has within it several practices that you can do. Now what’s interesting about the Six Gateways is that they work for men and women, but over the years, with our work, with our students, we discovered that women start at the beginning of the Six Gateways and they start with practices around safety and buiding trust with` themselves and with others and with opening their heart. And men tend to start in the middle of the Six Gateways; they start with ecstatic work and with learning the practice of opening their whole body up to pleasure and then they cycle back around to these other practices. It’s very interesting how it works. And so the Six Gateways also I would think of as a sort of spiral journey to the center of this path. In other words, you can start at the first gateway, go all the way to the sixth gateway, then start again at the first and go deeper with it.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: I see. And could you tell us what the gateways are?

 

Kypris Drake: Absolutely. The Six Gateways are called connecting to spirit, breathing love, soul gazing, waking the dragon, weaving the elements and divine union. So each of those kind of expresses a scene in essence and a place that we want to work both spiritually and sexually to expand our consciousness.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that’s really beautiful because I think a lot of times, a lot of people think, “If I could just learn this one technique, you know, go home and, it’s like I want to have this great lovemaking with my partner and if I can learn this one technique I’ll be a better lover”, and I think what I’m hearing you say is that being a better lover is really a very all being full body kind of lifelong practice.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. For me it certainly is, and I know that for my students many times they come to me originally - women especially, because we’re talking about women today - women will come to me and say, “You know, I can’t have an orgasm with my partner”, that’s one of the really common ones I hear. Or, “I can’t relax during sex” or “I’m not enjoying sex as much as I think I can.” And in the beginning they think, “Well we’re just going to focus on these sexuality practices and that will fix me.” And my experience with women especially is that we’re very, very complex creatures…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mmm.

 

Kypris Drake: And we need a lot of underlying work to open up to pleasure, so we need to work with our emotions and our heart, we need to work with what I call armor and removing that so we can be vulnerable. We need to work with really feeling connected to some kind of spirituality so that we can feel safe in the world. And once we do all that then we can start to open up to more pleasure.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right, we’re like a big Rube Goldberg contraction, you know, we can’t just work on the dohicky and expect the orgasm to flow, is what you’re saying; the whole machine has to be kind of flowing, right?

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm, exactly. It’s a whole mind/body/spirit kind of thing.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So where does the shamanic part really play an important part for you then?

 

Kypris Drake: Well the shamanic piece is really interwoven through everything that we do. So when I’m working with a student, what we’re focusing on is healing what I call the light body, and the light body is a concept that’s been developed by a lot of other teachers. And the practices that I teach are designed to create healing there that can then sort of translate into physical experience in the body or into an emotional experience in the body. So the word ‘shamanic’ really means that we become experts at altering our consciousness and we do it in a way that uses imagery that’s connected to the natural world. So we work with the elements of earth, air, fire and water and we work with the imagery of the sacred tree. For example, we work with the chakras in the body and moving energy through those, and that’s part of our sort of light body anatomy. So when we’re working with chakras those are sort of the organs of the light body just as the liver is an organ of your physical body. So shamanism kind of combines this, it’s this concept of working with an alternate reality to create changes in this reality.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: I absolutely love your explanation of shamanism. I think it’s so beautiful. And yes, yes, you have a meditation on – that you actually share, it’s for free actually on your site, yabyummy, which I’ll be sharing on our break – which you give people for a free download called the Sacred Tree Meditation, which I think is so beautiful. Would you like to just share, describe what that is?

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah, the Sacred Tree Meditation really is the foundation meditation for women. So when I was talking about creating safety and how that’s really important for women, that’s really where we start, and what the Sacred Tree Meditation does is it connects to the earth or the goddess or gaya or whatever word you would like to use for her; you can just call her Pacha Mama. And you also get connected to the divine masculine, which you can conceptualize as the sun or god or the great spirit or whatever imagery calls to you. And the key with the sacred tree meditation is connecting to both polarities so that you start to feel safe in the world, and there’s a sort of magical experience that I have with that when I pull those energies into my body, it creates a sense of wholeness and completeness in me….

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm.

 

Kypris Drake: And so… yeah. Maybe Steven would like to talk about that because he’s been a big part in developing that meditation.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Sure. The beautiful part about the meditation for me is that no matter where you are or who you are in essence you can feel filled and complete from this. So in other words it has the ability to for men that are unsure of what it means to be in their masculine that they can connect to the sky figure and in the shamanic way, in this alternate reality way feel what it’s like to be fully in there, in their masculine, and then from that place pull in from the earth and pray and dance with this feminine aspect of spirit. And when they get whole and complete like that they go out in the world and all of a sudden, you know, they in essence, you know, can connect with people and relationship. And the same is true for women but you just reverse it. So you have this balance polarity that, that’s beautiful no matter where you are, and what, where you’re feeling a need for more, you know, love or security, if you want more divine masculine or more divine feminine, you can put in if you’re practiced in this.

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah, and that’s really the practical application of sacred tree meditation is to work towards creating an end to neediness, an end to needing to get your validation from other people. So I think that the key to the sort of highest expression of sexuality is really to feel completely comfortable and whole and complete in yourself, and then come to partnership from that place. And in fact solo practice is what we like our students to begin with; so when I have a new student come to me for private work what I ask them to do is to begin with solo work and to do several sessions of that and to anchor that in their body before we start to do any practices around energetic connection.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I think that’s really fascinating, and… So we’re going to take a break really soon. I just want to say you do give these sacred tree meditation as a download on your sites, is that correct?

 

Kypris Drake: Yes. It’s actually, Steven do you remember? It’s part of our… Steven’s our technical (unintelligible)…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: It’s on the homepage and you…

 

Kypris Drake: Thank you.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: sign up for the, it’s a free download that you sign up for, the women’s e-course.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. Okay, good. And, but just briefly, you’re breathing up from the ground and into the sky and then, and just through your system to connect the polarities, if I heard you correctly, right?

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah, actually breathing into your heart, so you breath up from the ground, into your heart, and down from the sky, into your heart…

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Uh huh.

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah, and really mingle those energies in your body.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: And it’s such a beautiful meditation, I have to say. It is so well worth it, so just to go and get this link from the site. So we are going to take a break, and we’re going to come back and talk about sacred massage for women; yoni massage and breath massage and tantra, tantric massage. So please stay with us; we have lots of really good stuff coming up. This is Dr. Patti Taylor. We are here with Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake, and you, as I’ve promised, I’ll give you the link now. You can learn more about them at their incredible website, yabyummy.com, I’ll spell that; y-a-b-y-u-m-m-y, dot com. And you can get there, you can get a lot of very interesting things at their website. They have some amazing downloadable videos, which of course you have to buy, but you can get some wonderful previews and blog, they have some very interesting articles and some free stuff, and I think this is one of their very gorgeous gifts that they can, you can get from anywhere in this world, this beautiful sacred tree meditation. So please stay with us. We’ll be right back.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back, and we’re going to just launch right into a sacred massage for women. So where do we start?

 

Kypris Drake: I’ll let you handle this one Steven; you’re the expert on the women’s massage.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Well how far back do we want to go? I really think that this, that this massage starts with scheduling time, especially if you’re in a busy, you know, like most of us are, we’re busy, so scheduling time. And I really mean that when you schedule the time, that’s in essence when the massage starts, or not necessarily when you do the massage but the whole, the whole working up to it and thinking about it and wondering, you know, what it’s going to be like, that’s all part of the joy of this experience that you’re going to have.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, great. And so what might be the first, you know, what might it look like? You’ve gotten together; can you sort of paint a picture or kind of do like a reality typecast and maybe we can kind of look in on you and Kypris’s. You’re actually doing one together and you might describe what you’re actually doing together, and obviously you have two hours and we have maybe fifteen minutes, so you’ll have to kind of alter time here a little shamanically. But you Kypris, you like, tell us what you’re feeling and, you know, Steven you might tell us what you’re doing, starting with the breasts maybe or the breathing…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm, mm hmm.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: and then going to the yoni and maybe why you’re just focusing on certain key aspects of the massage.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Absolutely.

 

Kypris Drake: Well my work is to surrender. So in the sacred yoni massage when Steven and I are doing that practice togehre, in the beginning of that practice years ago when we started, it was hard for me to let go. It was hard for me to simply receive, to simply lie there and receive and not, you know, give a lot of direction. And I think for me it was a real learning experience. I was in the habit of giving a lot of direction in the bedroom.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm. And for men it becomes a learning experience to – I hesitate in saying take charge, because I’m not leading from my own ego, but it’s a real practice for me to connect to spirit and to let spirit guide me so that I can guide the ritual.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So I’m going to just hop in for one moment and say I have the benefit of a little bit of foresight because I’ve actually downloaded your video and I’ve watched it. And just from an eagles eye view from up above, in this video I get to observe that for, I don’t know, an hour or however long it takes, it’s a very non goal oriented experience where you’re very sensually engaging in without much of a goal of any kind, where you’re really very touching for the moment. And so please continue.

 

Kypris Drake: Well we start in this really beautiful way where, which is that we, we start with the meditation, once we’ve set the space, once we’ve created time, all that stuff, once I’ve decided I’m going to surrender. We really start with meditating individually and then coming into an energetic connection, so that means we’re really intentionally allowing our light bodies to connect and to flow with each other. And we have practices that we use to make that connection of breathing, of imagining that we can feel or see the energy moving back and forth between us. And once we do that it seems to drop me into a place of, okay, that I’m, you know, I’m ready to drop in now to some touch. And with the touch work, with the yoni massage, what surprised me when I started to do this practice was that we don’t go straight to the yoni at all. We start with a very sensual back massage…

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: And I want to just say once again the yoni is another word for the vagina…

 

Kypris Drake: Yes…

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So, not everyone…

 

Kypris Drake: It’s regarded, and yes, thank you for reminding me. I sometimes forget that the whole world doesn’t speak tantra.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right, I know. Well they don’t, but that’s okay. Please continue.

 

Kypris Drake: Now maybe Steve would like to tell us more, so, you know, after the back massage then the next step is where I sort of start going into the trance out part.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: I want to back up a little bit because, you know, with the awareness about the whole world doesn’t speak tantra – I started this work, you know, from the background of having a PhD in physics and really kind of wanting to feel it rather than just be in the belief system that, you know, oh if I come together and I meditate then I’ll, you know, I’ll have this experience which will be all blissful. So I did the experiment literally, we would practice this work and I would go through – and I call it faking it until you make it – we would go through the motions of doing this spiritual practice beforehand, and what I found is that the experiences in my body, the physical experiences and the emotional experiences in my body became so ecstatic that, you know, there are times that Kypris and I just do the meditative practice because it’s almost bigger than the physical connection, so it’s a real… In essence I want to like give all the people here who, you know, have never experienced it, just say, you know, “Watch it, try it and do the experiment for yourself, ‘cause it’s really blissful.” But once we move into the physical – and as Kypris says, she puts it out after we roll her over onto her belly and start massaging her back – the entire goal is, as Patti said, there isn’t one, but so then the entire goal becomes just to be in the moment. So for the man it’s just about the experience of touching, and we’re often – and I think we say this even in the video- but I’ll say that you want to touch as if you’re touching this fine piece of velvet and you never, you would never think to make this velvet feel good. So we’re getting out of this, the goal is to make your partner feel good; the goal is to really have a beautiful experience. So as you touch that velvet you would feel into your own hand and how it feels in you. And this is the true kind of, the basis of how all of the touch and the ritual is; it’s all touch for your own bliss. And that bliss gets transmitted through the divine energies into your partner.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm. Yeah, and the bliss is incredible. I mean there is, I think a lot of women have probably had the experience of making love and being able to sense when their lover is really enjoying, you know, really aroused in the lovemaking, and that’s an example of the energy that we’re talking about. There is this invisible thing that you can feel in your body, you can feel it in your yoni and you can feel it in your whole body. And during the yoni massage, you know, we start with that back massage and then we flow into a massage on the front of the body. And I used to be very uncomfortable having the front of my body massaged; like even in a regular massage I would feel very exposed and not safe. And so part of what I have journeyed through with this practice is journeying to a place where I feel safe enough that when I’m lying on my back I can be open and I can start to feel blissful, because there’s a real place of vulnerability for a woman there. And so even once she rolls over onto her back and we start massaging the front, or Steven is massaging the front of me lets say, then, you know, he’s going to start with focusing that massage on parts of my body that are less likely to feel not ready for that kind of touch. You know, like the breast area for example.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Well even before that I’ll often just put my hand and stillness on (unintelligible, audio missing)… You know, rub your cheeks, things that are just instilling love, because I want to have that connection. A part of this bliss isn’t that it just feels, that it’s just feeling good to me, it’s that what feels good to me is that I’m in an intimate connection with you and I’m in this present moment…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: So I start by, you know, loving your hair and your eyes and looking into you and, and then you know, as, you know, that safety and as you kind of open up and you can sense that. You know, for the men, again, just as Kypris said, you can, women can sense when their man is having pleasure. For a man you can sense when, you know… Think about it; when you had this experience of giving and the woman just kind of melted and moaned, and it’s all the sudden, you know, you’re in that place of full connection with there, and that space of openness is where, that’s sort of the signal for me that to move into maybe massaging the breasts and open her up there.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Mm, wow. So then what?

 

Dr. Steven Jay: I’ll spend a long time loving on the breasts because…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: they’re really the gateway. We often say this, that for women this is where their sexuality begins. For men - and we’ll, you know, we may talk about this in hour, in our next show - you know, you can really start on their penis…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: without any problem. Men love that. Just, you know, it’s not that, you know, full op; just some connection there, some touch, some acknowledgment there initially is really beautiful and that’s the beginning of their sexuality. But for women it’s their breasts, not their vagina, not their yoni.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm, yeah. And that really makes a difference for me. I notice that the – and women, you know, who are listening they may have had this experience, you know, the more foreplay you have the more aroused you get in lovemaking, and when you do get to the point of lovemaking it can become much more ecstatic if you had that preparation than if you go straight there, straight to penetration. Now in the yoni massage the only penetration that happens is that the man’s hand, and he’s working his way gradually to opening the woman’s body so that by the time he gets to the yoni it, she’s going to be ready for that, she’s going to invite that in…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm.

 

Kyrpis Drake: And there’s a whole process around how the man moves into the yoni with asking permission, and that, I’ll let Steven tell you about that.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: So before we get to that part, it’s a perfect place for a break ‘cause…

 

Kypris Drake: Okay.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: everyone will absolutely come back… This is Dr. Patti Taylor. And I’m here with Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake. You can learn more about them at their website, yabyummy.com, y-a-b-y-u-m-m-y, dot com. They have downloadable videos, one if fact on the very conversation that we’re having right now, tantric massage, and also for women on yoni massage and breast massage and lots of other cool stuff. So please stay with us. We’ll be right back.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and we’re talking about sacred shamanic massage for women, and please continue.

 

Kypris Drake: Well I think we were just talking about the approach to the yoni and how the man moves slowly in this phase, waits to be invited in and asks permission. And I love this part. I, when we started doing this practice I absolutely loved it and it was very healing for me. I think it really helped me to develop a strong sense of my own boundaries and when I wanted to say yes and when I didn’t want to say yes. So to have Steven approach my yoni with his hand and say, “May I touch your yoni? May I massage the outer part of your yoni? And may I move to the inside of your yoni? May I penetrate your yoni with my hand?”, to have him ask at all of those different stages is just incredibly powerful for me.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Now I think that’s an interesting point and I think even for peple that have been married for twenty years, they sometimes overlook that because, “Well, you know, I married you didn’t I, right, twenty years ago?” So even in longer term relationships I think that can be a very powerful practice, ‘cause you know to see your partner as someone you just met, you know, or who’s fresh and…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: is someone different in this moment that you would need or want to ask permission of is a very profound experience.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: It’s also a profound experience because every moment is unique and that’s really what we’re, what the essence of the tantric connection is is that you’re in this unique moment. You don’t know if your partner is in a place where that’s comfortable and without goals you need to be really comfortable in asking. And also I want to say one of the most beautiful things that the goddess can do is to say no, is to express her truth that way…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: And I always say that with Kypris, I love when she says no because then I know that her yeses are real…

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: So with the yoni…

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: That’s so beautiful.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: With the yoni massage the goal isn’t to massage the yoni; the goal is to have this experience that may entail having, you know, the man enter and, you know, massage around, and Kypris may say, you know, if I’m doing it she may or may not say yes to any of the touch. And rather than being in judgment with myself I just want to be in love for her because that’s, I mean this is a gift to her and it would be a pretty silly gift if I was giving her something she didn’t want.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: I love that. I really love that.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm. Yeah, there’s a story actually that a Buddhist practitioner told about a gift that you don’t want, you know, and talking about there is this particular kind of fruit that grew in the area where he lived and most people that lived in that area loved this exotic fruit and it was considered, you know, a great gift to give this fruit to someone because it was pretty rare also and expensive. And he said, “The trouble is I hate this fruit. And so I have a student who brought me one of these not knowing that I hated it and put it on the alter where I meditate in the offering bowl. And I’m sitting there in my morning meditation and I can’t meditate because I can smell the fruit and the smell’s making me sick.” And, you know, I think that’s a great example of we want to, before we gift someone with something we want to make certain it’s a gift they want to receive. So thank you Steven.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, that’s a beautiful story because I think it’s kind of human nature for people to give things that they themselves want to receive, and yet I think men often have very different wants than women do. And so it gets kind of tricky with men and women ‘cause their hormones, our physiology, our whole set up is very different. So, you know, what you give may not necessarily be what you would want to receive or vice versa…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Right…

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: right, so…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Right, right. Yeah.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Very good story.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: And that’s why we just say you ask. I mean rather than trying to be a mind reader – and we’ve certainly done this enough that we know that there are, you know, there are ways that work best for women and they’re really different than what work best for men. But in the end with your partner, even if you’ve known them forever, there’s such a gift to asking.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: And it’s a turn on too, right?

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Mm hmm.

 

Kypris Drake: Oh yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: “Do you want this?” “Yeah.” “Do you want that?” “Yeah.” Even if the whole thing was yes, it would be a lot of fun, right. I’d probably say no every now and then just….Sounds like a lot of fun.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: But then what?

 

Kypris Drake: Well…

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Well… You know, once the, if we get to a place of a yes with the goddess opening up and saying yes to – and it’s not even penetration at this point with your finger because really what happens is she pulls you in and this is the true receptive nature of the woman and this is really the beauty of the experiences. And I mean literally to feel your finger energetically and physically be pulled into her because she’s so ready to receive you, I mean that’s ecstatic. Once we’re inside, you know, the yoni session is really a healing ritual in its core. It’s about releasing - initially anyway, it eventually moves to a place of pleasure – but initially it’s really about releasing past trauma, and I don’t necessarily mean it has to be deep sexual wounding and sexual abuse trauma, but it may be. But, you know, we’ve all lived through, you know, our childhoods and if any of us got through childhood without, and young adulthood and teenagerhood without some sort of trauma in our life then I think that’s beautiful, but most of us don’t.

 

Kypris Drake: Mm hmm, especially shame and guilt.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Right.

 

Kypris Drake: Yeah.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Right. So the, in the same way that when you massage someone’s shoulders and they release tension there and that tension may be about their work days and not physical tension, but really just about something that happened, the yoni stores a lot of sexual energy and trauma and tension. So the goal with this, again – if we don’t have a goal, but just to speak from it from that point of view ‘cause the languaging’s easier – is to love and to massage, literally to explore within the yoni with your hands and to move the muscle and the tissue around and to touch without necessarily trying to arouse, just to touch and feel and love.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! Well that sounds really beautiful. We’re going to have to bring this show to a close.

 

Kypris Drake: Hmmm.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: I know, I know, but you’ve given us a great feeling for this, and maybe we can come back to this a little bit in the second show. So we’ll see how our time goes. We have a lot of great stuff ahead in the second show too, so we’ll be in the flow. But I was hoping you could leave us with – I’ll ask both of you’s – a parting inspirational thought for our listeners before we close out the show. So who wants to go first?

 

Kypris Drake: Well I’ll go. I mean I think for women what I have found on this path is the rewards are great. And one of the rewards is that no two experiences of lovemaking are the same. So Steven and I have been partnered together for several years and we’ve never had the same experience twice in making love in all that time. And that is something that I’m passionate about sharing with other women.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that’s inspiring. Definitely (unintelligible) on your quote there, my dear. And how about you Steven?

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Well I like to give carrots, meaning that, you know, this work is really huge and can affect your whole life and isn’t just the sexual component, but the sexual component’s really fun and easy to talk about. And what I often realize – at least what I realize now – is that my, the orgasms that I had before I was doing this work really literally feel like a little sneeze compared to the experiences of just bliss and release that I can have. And the wonderful thing about this is that, you know, orgasm and ejaculation aren’t connected anymore, so I can have these amazing orgasms and continue to make love and then finish and continue to move through my day with all of this just sexual energy running through me, which can turn into creativity, which can turn into, you know, well from creativity and it can be channeled into anything I want to do in my day. So I get great orgasms and then I get to carry that spirit energy into my day to manifest whatever I want.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that’s a carrot that’d be pretty enticing for a lot of men and women I should think. Well thank you so much. Its been a pleasure having you both on this show. I’m inspired. And I know, I’m sure many of our listeners are too, if not all of them.

 

Kypris Drake: Thank you for having us.

 

Dr. Steven Jay: Thanks for having us.

 

Dr. Patti Taylor: Its been a joy. We’ve been talking with Dr. Steven Jay and Kypris Drake of yabyummy.com. And you can go to their website and they have lots of free stuff and lots of cool stuff that you can download and just check out. And so, go check them out. And so that brings us to the end of our show. Thank you for listening. You can send me email at [email protected]. For text and transcripts of this show and other shows, go visit our website please, at personallifemedia.com. And you can visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor, at expandedlovemaking.come, where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, services and events, or just come join Expanded Orgasm on Face Book. This is Dr. Patti Taylor. That’s all for now. I remain yours in ever expanding lovemaking, and I’ll see you next week.