Episode 102: Sexy, Outrageous, Exotic, or Adorable? Your Personal Lovemaking Brand (Part Two) with Arden Leigh

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Join us as Dr. Patti talks to Arden Leigh, a former professional dominatrix who now counsels women on seduction strategies and optimizing current relationships. In Part One of this show we discussed how to seduce a man. Now that we have him, how do we keep the relationship hot!!! We look at the concept of a personal relationship brand. What are they, and does everyone have one? How would you find out what yours is? What is Arden’s and what is Dr. Patti's personal brand? Can (and should) men have one too? Can women have a brand that includes male archetypes as well as female archetypes? What do we have to learn and gain by having a personal lovemaking brand? Does literature help? Can movies teach us about seduction? Does pornography ever contribute to our knowledge of how to be sexier? Could we analyze Princess Diana, Prince Charles, and Lady Camilla using the theory of personal brands? Truly a fascinating and deep topic. And incredibly fun, also!

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show. I’m your host Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com, and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This is part two of a two-part series. Sexy, outrageous, exotic or adorable; your personal lovemaking brand. What is it? So I ask you, love never dies. Well that’s what they say anyway. Of course divorce rates suggest otherwise. That’s why once we’ve nabbed the guy of our dreams we women will always have our jobs cut out for us. But hey, work like this could be the very spice of life, and no one makes it sound more fun than our guest, who’s returning for part two. So I’m pleased to welcome our guest back for today, Arden Leigh. Hi Arden.

Arden Leigh: Hi Patti. How are you?

Dr. Patti Taylor: I’m just great. Welcome back to our show.

Arden Leigh: Thank you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. Well let me tell you a little bit about Arden, and this is the Cliffsnotes version, I’ve already told you so much about her already and we’ve been having a blast talking about seducing a man and all kinds of things in show one, so hopefully you’ve caught the ride so far. But just to catch all the others up, Arden is a relationship coach. She coaches women from all walks of life on seducing a man and keeping your relationship great and making it even better. And she’s New York City based and the author of a book that will be coming up called Whipped: A Professional Dominatrix Shares the Secrets to Wrapping Men Around Your Little Finger. So I can’t wait to read that. Wow, that sounds like really important advice. So… And even though Arden counsels women I think men may want to think about what we’re going to talk about today too. I actually think it’s universal information. But regardless of your gender or your marital status, your relationship status, we’re glad to have you here and lets get started. So we’ve been talking about seduction strategies and the value of sex, and is it good really to have sex, and does sex really help you hang on to a guy? So can we pick up that thread? What do you think?

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. I mean I think it’s, it’s so common that it borders on cliché now how many, how many relationships or marriages eventually turn sexless, and you, I think you often hear about, you often hear the men complaining about that a lot more than the women. Again, that’s a generalization. I’ve certainly known women who have complained about that too. But I think in any relationship, I think sex is a pretty basic human need, and of course if you’re going to remain monogamous with someone you need to keep that healthy between the two of you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. But having said that, sex is not enough, is it?

Arden Leigh: Oh no, no, absolutely not. There is obviously a lot of facets to a relationship. But I think as the relationship goes on sex becomes a part that you have to put a little bit more effort into. It seems like sex can often be pretty easy in the first stages of relationship. You know, you’re, you’ve got all of these, all of these really great feel-good chemicals that are flooding your brain from, you know, the attraction that you feel to this person, and of course you’re feeling plenty of lust and desire for them and sex is just, it’s simple, you know, or it should be anyway. It’s something that very naturally happens between two people who are attracted to each other. As a relationship goes on, a lot of those chemicals stop being released in your brain and are replaced by feelings of attachment, and those are other chemicals that cause that as well. So you lose those feelings of lust and desire, but you feel those feelings of being warm and cozy and comfortable and secure hopefully with a person when you do get those feelings of attachment. And of course that means you still love a person and care for a person very much and want to be around them, but that same sex drive is not chemically necessarily there all the time.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well this is a fabulous lead-in to the topic today, which is sexy, outrageous, exotic or adorable, and I think it can be some combination of even many other things, but it’s about your personal lovemaking brand. And it’s really about once we have landed the man of our dreams, what happens from there? And so I’m going to backtrack a little bit, and lets talk about what might, was is a personal lovemaking brand? How would you describe that?

Arden Leigh: Well I like to think of a person’s brand as, it certainly permeates the lovemaking aspect of their lives, but it’s also their seductive persona is something that never really stops. It’s simply, you know, Kurt Vonnegut once said “We are who we pretend to be”, and I believe that you really get a choice in life to choose to forge your own identity based on what you see that inspires you and who you want to embody, what kind of persona you want to embody. I believe that very, very greatly for myself as well, you know, I take a look around at what inspires me in the world and I take bits and pieces from that and I authentically assimilate that into my own identity and into my own persona to create this sort of brand about myself, this consistent brand. I think what’s important in where that comes to lovemaking is that… Well, number one, obviously when you do choose a brand, I think we all do want to be people who are seductive, so you do choose a brand that is going to compel other people and attract other people, whether that’s in a sexual manner or not. But second of all, I often find that when it comes to maintaining a long-term sexual relationship, because you do feel all those feelings of comfort and security and attachment it can be very easy for women to lose the brand that they’ve created for themselves in terms of, you know, they end up being not as they’re advertised, you know, and they’ve put so much effort into who they were when they were just dating this person and really trying to hold onto them, and now that they have all these attachment feelings and they feel secure in their relationship, they kind of let that drift to the side a bit, which is where a lot of those problems stem, I think, you know. I talk a lot about building ones own personal brand, and sometimes, you know – and this is a whole other conversation that we could get into if you want, you know – when people are like, “Well, is that manipulative or are you not being true to yourself by doing that?”, which I don’t think it is. But more to the point is that when you do recreate yourself and you do choose your own personal brand and you craft your own identity, just like a product, like marketing a product, you have to be true to that promise, you know, and…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well lets… I’m going to interrupt…

Arden Leigh: Sure.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Lets just have an example here so our listeners can really get a pictorial sense of what we’re talking about, and lets use you as an example. There’s a picture on your blog page, and there you are, you’re lounging on a gorgeous setee and your hair is done up in a sort of, I don’t know, twenties look or maybe it’s Marie Antoinette, I’m not sure…

Arden Leigh: Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: and in a beaded negligee and there’s feathers all around and bugle beads are on your gown and the whole picture is kind of in soft focus and, you know, there’s a whole look about you. So I’ve tried to describe it, but maybe you can tell me about who you are as a brand. And what is a brand? And when I say a lovemaking brand, I just mean who you are as a lover, not necessarily how you, you know, fuck, but… although it may boil down to that too, but…

Arden Leigh: Right.

Dr. Patti Taylor: It’s more as a lover. But lets talk about you for a moment. Who is your brand and how did you arrive at that? And then that might trigger other people into thinking how they can figure out who their brand is.

Arden Leigh: Sure, absolutely. The first time that I was actually confronted with thinking about it in such an analytical manner was when I became a professional dominant and I really had to set myself apart from the other pro doms who were out there. And as I mentioned too, I also ended up coaching other girls to find their own brand for themselves. So what I ended up doing, what I decided was most inspiring to me in terms of my own brand as a dominant, but which is also inspired by my own brand as a person, my own, what inspires me in my life and what inspires my own persona is – and again, I also have a very funny graphic of this on my blog, basically a triple venn diagram kind of showing where these archetypes overlap – but I drew my inspiration from Marie Antoinette, from Madame Recamier who was a notorious seductress in Victorian era France, and also from this sort of playful innocent sexuality of the Vargas pinup, you know, of the 40’s and 50’s. So there’s definitely a lot of vintage in my brand, there’s definitely a lot of glamour, definitely a lot of tease, a lot of playfulness and also a lot of decadence, a lot of decadence and luxury. I don’t necessarily mean, by luxury I don’t mean necessarily, you know, that I have to wear really expensive clothing all the time, although I like to do that when I can. But I mean in terms of really enjoying the pleasure, you know, out of life, a sort of vintage style hedonism.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So I really, I get that about you and let me ask you, what… And I want to point out, one thing I love about talking to you is that our listeners can read your blog, and what we’re talking about here, you have outlines so eloquently in your blog, everything…

Arden Leigh: Thank you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You can read twice as much about this on your blog, you’re an amazing writer, and I just love shows where our listeners can go for more detail on exactly what we’re talking about, so I think that’s fantastic. So what could our listeners do where they say, “I want to get my husband hot for me, and she’s right, it has been a while. You know how I am in these baggy pants”, you know. How do I find out what my brand is? What could a listener do right now to get a sexy upgrade?

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. Well what I often advise women to do is to look at the people who inspire them and who are their seduction heroines, you know, when they see someone maybe in a film or whether it’s a character or maybe it’s a character in a novel or maybe it’s a celebrity or maybe it’s even, you know, a historical figure, as, you know, some of my inspirations come from. Maybe it’s an image, like, you know, for example the Vargas pinup that inspires me. I ask them to take a look at that and analyze which part of those icons, of those figures are appealing to them, are compelling to them. And you can literally write their characteristics down, whether it’s maybe, it’s their voice, it’s the way that they speak. Maybe it’s their look. Maybe it’s something about their behavior or the way that they act. Maybe it’s body language; could be any number of things. But to really break down what compels them about that figure and to encourage them if they feel that this is something that is right for themselves and not just right on this particular figure or character. If they feel that it’s right for themselves to encourage them to assimilate them, assimilate those traits into who they become everyday. And your own brand is really your own personal choice.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I think that is such incredible advice what you said right there. If you, I think if listeners did that one thing, you would come up with such a unique profile, just that one thing. For example, I think… And I haven’t figure this, I just got two out of the three, but I think that I’m a cross – and I haven’t worked this out completely but I’m working on it –between Madonna and Audrey Hepburn and I haven’t figured out the third one yet, okay. Obviously this requires deep thought. But, you know, you’re going to get some intersection in there.

Arden Leigh: Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Now who else is a cross between – and I’m just using this as an example ‘cause I think I need a little more thought, but lets just take that as an example – a cross between, I mean ‘cause it’s probably, you know… but who else is a cross between Madonna and Audrey Hepburn? And I love the way Audrey Hepburn wore those stylish clothes with the leopard prints. I mean she was kind of outrageous…

Arden Leigh: Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: but in an innocent way, you know, and I think that those qualities about her, you know, she was a good girl, right? Such a good girl, but she had that kind of craziness underneath that good girl.

Arden Leigh: Exactly.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And then Madonna, well I just love all the, it’s like she’s a biker chick, you know, and she’s like half naked and, you know, really sort of that deep sexuality, that Scorpio kind of – I don’t know if she’s a Scorpio, but she’s got that really deep, deep, deep. And so for me those two definitely would be two of mine. I don’t know who the third one, but I think I would fit probably somebody intelligent but, you know, who was really cute.

Arden Leigh: Of course, of course. And that’s actually, that’s really, you know, and I’ve only known you, you know, through our talks on the phone, but I can see where that would be very true for you because there’s really that level of sophistication in Audrey Hepburn, but along with that playfulness and that innocence that you mentioned, but of course, of course she does have that mischievous side to her. And when…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, crazy sunglasses and the hats…

Arden Leigh: Yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: But it wouldn’t look like me at all. I mean I’m so unique, you know, and I think that’s your point, right?

Arden Leigh: Oh yeah, absolutely, is that when you fuse several archetypes together you come up with something that the world has never really seen before. But you’re not pulling it out of left field either. You’re not creating something that’s, you know, just wacky and looks like it landed from another planet. No one is really going to be able to analyze you and break you down into your discernible parts. You know, no one really thinks that hard.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So we’re going to take a break, and we’re going to come back, I have some more great questions for you. We are talking to Arden Leigh about sexy, outrageous, exotic or adorable, your personal lovemaking brands and having a lot of fun. And anyway, we can find out more about Arden at her website, ardenleigh.typepad.com, and I’ll spell that, a-r-d-e-n-l-e-i-g-h, dot typepad, dot com. So please stay with us.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back, and we’re talking about how to come up with our own personal brands. Well now, I was wondering, the brand that we project out into the world, do you think it actually goes into the bedroom?

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. I think it’s important that it does. If it doesn’t then there’s a bit of a problem. If it doesn’t really permeate all or at least most areas of your life, then I would say about that is that that’s something that you have not yet authentically assimilated, that it has yet to actually become a part of you, that part of it is still a façade. And I’m very against facades because I think that those are misleading. You know, again, we do want to be as advertised, and if we get into the bedroom and we’re something other than what we have projected to our potential lovers, then they’re going to be a little bit disappointed one would think.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You know, I was wondering do you think that if women would take the time and there was a very easy assignment and deep also sort of a combination, you know, to take maybe three archetypes of who they admired… First of all, do you think men could do the same thing too?

Arden Leigh: Oh, absolutely, absolutely. You know, my (unintelligible) coaches both women and men along side me. He’s definitely a blending of several archetypes. I would say he’s, he’s part James Dean, he’s a little bit part young Elvis, and, you know, and also a little part say 80’s punk, you know, Ramones for example…

Dr. Patti Taylor: And he teaches men how to do this too, right?

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. He absolutely does and he’s an evil genius at it.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And this is so different than the pick-up stuff that they teach out there, you know.

Arden Leigh: It is. We’ve studied a lot of the pick-up stuff. The main difference that we find is that a lot of the pick-up material focuses a lot on approach, and it’s really just about approaching a girl and learning how to talk to her, and that is definitely a valuable skill set, but what you really want to do is, as I mentioned before, take someone on an emotional journey and create an emotional experience for them, and I think that, I think that some of the pick-up stuff definitely touches on that, but it’s more of our main focus I think.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah I have to say that some of the stuff I’ve heard in the pick-up community, I just want to put that out there, I think buyer beware. There’s a lot of stuff I’ve seen with pick-up stuff where they say, “Hey, be your authentic man”, you know, “And we’re going to narrow you down to one quality so that you can pick up women, so you’ve got to act exactly this way so women will experience you as authentic”, and I’m thinking well anyone who’s going to teach you how to narrow yourself down to one quality, which is exactly the way they teach you how to act, is the opposite of authentic. So I’m just going to put that out to my listening crowd that not all programs for seduction are alike, and having said that lets move right along.

Arden Leigh: Thank you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes. Do you think that women could feel more confident about being more sexually outrageous if maybe they did spend more time studying their archetypes and, you know, developing their brand, you know, and following their leaders so to speak?

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. I think that part of what is so important about creating a brand is that it really gives you a sense of control and empowerment about your own identity and about who you are in the world. You know, I think a lot of people have this mistaken belief that you are the role that the world hands to you and that whatever you, you know, were born as and grew up as and society molded you into, that that’s what you are, and that’s not necessarily true. You also, you really have a lot more choice about it than most of the world likes to think. So having that empowerment can, to really forge your identity, can produce a lot more confidence in terms of deciding, you know, do, how sexual a person do I want to be. You have to give yourself permission to create your identity, and when you do that you can decide, you know, am I someone who wants to be, you know, for example a little more subtley sexually like an Audrey Hepburn, someone who’s a little playful about it, or do I want to be a Madonna who is going to, you know, I’ll publish all these erotic photos of myself and I’ll, you know, I’ll write a song called Erotica and whatever, that you really can choose what your brand of sexuality is going to be and how far along you are on that scale.

Dr. Patti Taylor: But I think also even in addition to what you’re saying is that we as women don’t have that many role models. I mean there’s porn out there for me, and of course I think that’s pretty inaccurate in a lot of ways if you want to learn about lovemaking…

Arden Leigh: Yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: and intimacy and all that, and where are our role models, and we can’t exactly have webcams into true intimacy because I don’t think most people really want that and, you know, I’m taking the time to sit there. So I think we have to look into the silver screen and the movies and into great books. I mean to find that eroticism and then transpose it into our lives, I mean like you said, Madonna has an eroticism that just, she broadcasts and radiates out. Look at Greta Garbo, I mean look at her secret exotic eroticism. You know, we, and I think we can learn from these women, the ones we want to. And I think perhaps for women – and men, but I’m going to just talk about the women here – to understand that this is a resource for us, that, you know, to, we can be studying, and as you say, the literature is, you know, you said you like that book, I forgot her name, Madame somebody and the other tool…

Arden Leigh: Was it The Art of Seduction we were talking about or…

Dr. Patti Taylor: No the one that you like, Madame…

Arden Leigh: Oh yes, Madame Recamier, absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. So these great works of art, we women can study them for our own queues. I find old movies is a phenomenal place, the great old screen stars, to look at seduction and just learn from them.

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. Absolutely. I find that incredibly empowering for me that I get to, that I get to choose that for myself. I will touch briefly though on the porn aspect, and while I’ve never personally been incredibly inspired by porn, I kind of feel a little bit neutral about it. It just, you know, it’s very rare that I see a porn that does a lot for… Actually wait, that’s not true. I have been inspired by a porn before in terms of my own personal brand. You know, maybe it didn’t make it into one of the three main archetypes, but I will say for the record I was inspired by a porn called Fashionistas, which is a fetish porn, and I was very inspired by Bella Donna’s role in that, Bella Donna the porn star, but, okay. But okay, 99 percent of porn I have not been inspired by. But one thing I will say about that is that as dismissive as women like to be about porn because it very rarely inspires us because we’re not wired the same way as men are to enjoy that, you know, an eighteen billion dollar a year industry that men pay for can’t necessarily be wrong. You know, that many men can’t all be totally off the mark, so… I think sometimes there is something to learn from porn in terms of, in terms of being visually oriented. Also in terms of being sexually free, sexually exploratory when you see how many kinds of porn that are out there that men are inspired by in their own sex lives. I think it’s foolish to kind of say like, “Oh porn is irrelevant” because men don’t think so.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I didn’t, if I said that I’d like to sort of restate it…

Arden Leigh: Oh no, I think a lot of women do though.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I think some porn… No, I think some porn is misleading as far as being a good role model for intimacy. However, I think other porn, that’s how we get misstated… I do think other porn can be a lot of fun. I like the Michael Mann and, what’s the other guy, Andrew Blake…

Arden Leigh: Oh yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: are wonderful visual porn if you’re into the, you know, the thigh high latex boots and the women in the corsets and the stockings and the fishnets and just, you know, room full of these women running around with little chokers on and the earrings on, you know, down to their nipples. I mean if you love that stuff, I think that can be a heck of a lot of fun. So again…

Arden Leigh: Yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: it’s a matter of, you know, buyer beware and choose accordingly.

Arden Leigh: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely, I definitely agree with that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, well this is Dr. Patti and I’m here with Arden Leigh, and we will be right back so please stay with us. You can find our more about Arden at her blog website, ardenleigh.typepad.com, and I’ll spell that, a-r-d-e-n-l-e-i-g-h, dot, t-y-p-e-p-a-d, dot com.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So we’re back, and we’re coming into the final moments of our show. I thought I’d just take a moment and ask a little about what you do with a woman. Give us, do you have any examples of what you might do that, to help a woman, say, renew a relationship, a woman you’ve worked with?

Arden Leigh: Sure, absolutely. Well the first thing I do advise people, not to be a pessimist, but I do advise people that relationship patterns get set very early on. So one of the best things you can do is simply get your relationship off on the right foot. It’s sometimes difficult, not impossible, but certainly more difficult to regain lost ground than it is to simply keep the ground that you have from the jump. There is, it really depends on the woman’s individual goals in terms of renewing her relationship. One of the things, you know, that I definitely advise, you know, for example about keeping ones sex life healthy is to create a form for open communication from the jump start, where… One of the worst things that I think a woman can do in her relationship is to create an atmosphere where her man feels that he may be judged poorly for his fantasies, whether he actually is judged poorly when he admits them or whether he simply feels that he may be judged poorly should he admit them. And on of the very, very strong advantages that I have in my own personal life from being a professional dominant for three and a half years is that men are not afraid to talk to me about what they want in the bedroom; doesn’t matter whether it’s a man that I’m involved with or it’s a man that I’m not involved with who simply says, “Oh well, is this normal because I like this?”, or what have, you know, because I’ve pretty much seen and heard it all.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I think that’s a phenomenal piece of advice, and I just want to add to that one thing…

Arden Leigh: Absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor: which is women, if you don’t know what to talk to the guy about, in this case I would say ask them and they will tell you what you can ask them to talk about, ‘cause I often have not known what fantasy a man has had or how to discuss it with him, and he will tell me, “Well just ask me this and just ask…”, and they will coach me on how to talk with them and they will be the happiest man alive and I’ve said ten words, like I’m a genius.

Arden Leigh: Yes. Yes, absolutely. That’s excellent advice, and I also…

Dr. Patti Taylor: But please continue.

Arden Leigh: Oh. I also think it’s important for women to not be shy about their own fantasies. And when a man hears that this woman that he’s maybe idealized somewhat also has some kind of down and dirty fantasies herself, even if they’re maybe not even that down and dirty, that’s going to inspire him to open up a little bit more, it encourages some reciprocity there so, I’m always straightforward about, you know, “Oh well, you know, I like this and that”, ‘cause then if a guy doesn’t tell you what he’s into after you have basically bared your own sexual soul, then he’s kind of a punk.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So do you have an example of a woman that you’ve turned around that got her brand?

Arden Leigh: Absolutely. Absolutely. I was, you know, I was speaking with one woman who was kind of not, she was a little bit uncomfortable in her attractiveness because she was, she was a very attractive girl but, and she had been a Burlesque performer for quite a while and she stopped. She stopped during Burlesque because she said, “Well I felt like too many people were viewing me as just an attractive girl and that they couldn’t get past that, and I was done just being the pretty girl and I really wanted to, you know, to forge deeper than that and to have people really, you know, and seek me out for what I was all about, rather than just what’s on the surface.” And I worked with her a little bit; we’re still in a lot of conversations about it. She was actually, in this case she was concerned more about the brand that she put forth in her career as a photographer than she was about her own personal life, which she felt at the time decently satisfied with. But she felt that in her job, you know, she wasn’t getting noticed by the right people, she wasn’t able to command a room, and she was kind of just fading into the background. So what I said to her is I said, “You know, well clearly when you were a Burlesque performer you were never fading into the background, so, you know, maybe there is a real advantage to bringing back that level of attractiveness and charisma. It doesn’t mean that people won’t take you seriously; you just have to prove that you are able to be taken serious along side that”, you know. I think a lot of people have this idea that smart and pretty are mutually exclusive. I’ve had a lot of friends who’ve written on that subject actually, and it’s simply not true. And, you know, as we were working together she decided, she said, “Well I think one of my archetypes, I want to be Marlene Deitrich because she really embraced her attractiveness and her femininity”, but she had this masculine side to her that she could really, you know, with the men suits and everything, that she was able to be taken seriously, you know, when she, she had this sort of strong presence about her, that she was really able to be commanding in a way that perhaps maybe thought of as a bit traditionally masculine while still retaining her femininity. So that’s one example of someone I’ve worked with.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that’s a fabulous example and that actually brings up one more question; can a person actually have like two brands, like kind of a sophisticated, “I got my act together and I’m a genius”, and then kind of “I’m into Yoga and I’m really virtual and laid back”, and did you ever see that?

Arden Leigh: I actually think that blending two brands that are maybe seemingly in opposition to each other can actually be a great way to come up with a very unique fusion. So if you are someone who is very driven, you know, very ambitious perhaps, very type A, but at the same time you are into Yoga or you are into relaxing, I would say that that creates something that’s unique. You know, then again, things are not always necessarily as mutually exclusive as we like to think, and if you overlap those two, you know, maybe you’re someone who just has your life together really that you know when to be driven and you know when to relax, and that when you blend those two things together you come up with a person who’s really centered and balanced perhaps.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, so I don’t know who the female equivalent of Gandhi is, but I’ll have to start thinking about maybe that’ll be my third…

Arden Leigh: Yeah, who would be the female equivalent of Gandhi? That would be, I’ll have to think about that one.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, put that one in with my other archetypes, right?

Arden Leigh: Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That would make a great fusion, you got to admit.

Arden Leigh: Yeah. Well I think also, you could have, you could have a male figure as an archetype too, you know, like…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh really?

Arden Leigh: I’ve seen, I’ve seen some women who’ve taken a lot of queues from James Dean for example, you know…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Uh huh.

Arden Leigh: You know, you see the women who are, you know, in a leather jacket, leaning against the wall outside the bar, smoking a cigarette, you know, one leg propped up on the wall. Yeah, you know. Yeah, it’s possible. Yeah, it is right.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Totally. Or Elvis, right? Swivel those hips.

Arden Leigh: Yeah, exactly, right.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I’ve learned more about branding, I’ll tell you, my mind is going a hundred miles a minute. I had so much fun today. All I can think of is there’s a lot of people in this world that can use your services. And in fact when I was writing up the show today, I don’t think we’ll have time to talk about it, but I was thinking, you know, it’d be really fun if we could talk about Princess Diana, Prince Charles and what’s her name as an example, I know it begins with a C, and then I put…

Arden Leigh: Oh Camilla.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I know, I know, and then I thought, wow, there’s a lady who could use some branding, I can’t even remember her name…

Arden Leigh: Oh gosh. Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: But I don’t think we’ll have time, but, you know, case in point right?

Arden Leigh: Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: She could use your services.

Arden Leigh: I’m sure that’d be a very complicated one to dissect, especially since the Royal family is kept so, their secrets are kept so closely under guard. I’m not sure, you know, I’m not sure any of us really know a hundred percent what went on, although of course we can always speculate.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. Well there is a possible blog entry for you. You do invite comments to your blogs, so…

Arden Leigh: Yes, absolutely. That’s a great idea actually.

Dr. Patti Taylor: It’d be very… I don’t know how you go, I don’t know how you’d top Johnny Depp though. We did talk about that in our first show, so it’s a really hot topic. Anyway we are going to be bringing our show to a close now. And so fortunately I am letting all my listeners know you have a phenomenal blog to read, which is actually phenomenally well written, so…

Arden Leigh: Thank you so much.

Dr. Patti Taylor: There is more of Arden for all of those who have loved the show. And I’ll give you her address one more time: it’s ardenleigh, a-r-d-e-n-l-e-i-g-h, dot typepad, dot com (ardenleigh.typepad.com), but before we go do you have a parting thought for our listeners?

Arden Leigh: Well lets see, in the first part of the show I gave a pretty broad philosophical one, so this time I’ll give a narrower one, a far more narrower one, which is according to a study at the University of Rochester it has been scientifically proven that men are more sexually attracted to a woman who is wearing red. So if you want to go out and increase your chances of meeting more prospects who are going to be compelled by you tonight I would advise you to wear red when you do that. I know in my own personal life that’s been very, very true for me. It’s always, always all about the red dress.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Uh huh, does that work for men as well as women?

Arden Leigh: I don’t think they’ve done a study in terms of what color women are more attracted to. I will say that women are less visually oriented as a generalization than men. So…

Dr. Patti Taylor: If you have a (unintelligible) that may help.

Arden Leigh: Well, you know, and that can be a whole other interview about, you know, the reason why women find alpha males, you know, social status so important to them, which goes back to the caveman days, so. But…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Or loads of intelligence…

Arden Leigh: Maybe I’ll write a blog about that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Loads of compassion, right. Lots of things that make a man very interesting to a woman.

Arden Leigh: Exactly.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So thank you so much. Lots of red in your life women. And I thank you so much for coming on our show today.

Arden Leigh: Oh, thank you very much for having me Patti. It’s been a pleasure.

Dr. Patti Taylor: It has been a pleasure. So we are bringing our show to a close now. Thank you so much for joining us. If you haven’t already, do join Notify Me, it’s our new signup. Go to personallifemedia.com/signup, and you can do same day notification or get a weekly digest. So please send me, Patti, email at [email protected], and for texts and transcripts of this show and other shows on the Personal Life Media network, visit our website at personallifemedia.com. And also visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor, at expandedlovemaking.com where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, services and events. This is Dr. Patti Taylor. That’s all for now. I remain yours in ever expanding lovemaking, and I’ll see you next week.