Episode 93: The Alchemy of Passion (Part One): Building Polarity with Saida Désilets, Renowned Conscious SexualityTeacher

Listen Now
RSS: Subscribe
RSS: iTunes

Listen in as Dr. Patti talks to Saida Désilets , renowned teacher of Taoist energy cultivation. In this show, we focus on building polarity. Learn more about the overarching Taoist system that teaches polarity as an essential starting point and ingredient for the alchemy of passion. What is polarity? Why is it important? What is a man's polarity? And what is a woman's polarity? What practices can men and women take up to keep themselves in balance? Learn about the Jade egg practices for women, and testicle breathing for men! Dr. Patti wants to know what are some of the exercises that Saida personally does that keeps her looking so young, vital and turned on? Find out why being balanced within yourself is so essential as a first step in having a balanced, powerful, potent relationship. A fun, vibrant show!

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show. I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com, and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This is part one of a two-part series. We’re talking about The Alchemy of Passion and building polarity. So let me ask you something: have you ever wondered why some people are more turned on than others? Why are they glowing in the dark? Why are they sighing and weeping and thrilling at every little thing? Are these people having amazing sex too and relationships? What are they doing? Well here to tell us more about just this is our guest for today Saida Desilets, master of energy cultivation from the Taoist tradition. So I’d like to welcome our guest today, Saida. Hi Saida.

Saida Desilets: Hi Patricia, wonderful to be here.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I am just doing great. Well let me tell you a little bit about our guests. Saida Desilets, PhD, is the renowned founder of the Desilets Method and she is the author of the book, The Immergence of the Sensual Woman. She is also the creator of a CD and DVD on energy cultivation. 

Well lets find out how we can build the kind of turn on and polarity for healthy sense of balance within ourselves and with others that will enable us to have amazing relationships. With that, lets gets started, and I think the great question to start with is what is polarity?

Saida Desilets: Beautiful question. Polarity for me is the ability to have a magnetic field between yourself and another within yourself. So it’s, for me as a woman if I’m looking at relationship, I would be magnetizing and amplifying my sensual nature as a woman, which is succulence. And for the man he would be magnetizing and amplifying his essential nature, which I like to call presence.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Ooh, so succulence and presence. Yummy. Okay,

--What my vision of polarity is? Well I think, you know, it’s a force that I see, you can see evident in all of nature. It’s all of nature’s driven by this magnetism, laws of attraction and things coming together to create new things, and we have our own experience as humans in, we have our own experience of polarity, and it’s most evident in relationship between men and women, and the force that attracts two people together can either be very strong or can be sort of not so strong or it can be downright non existent, even though people may be married or officially going out, they might not have any polarity at all, so… So polarity to me is like an essential ingredient that will keep any relationship thriving. And for most people it’s something that just comes and goes, but in what we teach and what we’re about is allowing people to harness the understanding of polarity so they can strengthen it consciously and on a daily basis and know what those ingredients, what that entails so it’s not just left to fate, you know. So they can have a long relationship and keep the juice and keep the polarity strong. So it’s, bring it to a conscious level.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, thank you. Well these principles of polarity, they go back a long way, don’t they? So could you tell us a little bit about the origin of the concept of polarity?

Saida Desilets: Well I think it, through the Taoist lens, the most common polarity would be yin and yang, and those are actually the same energy, so they’re different expressions of the same energy. We see a separation, we see night and day and weak and strong and… But we need that relationship, for me to know joy I also need to know pain. So this is what I love about polarity; it’s about accepting that we’re human and divine. It’s that wonderful paradox that lives in all of us, in all of life. In terms of sexual practice, in terms of sexual practice polarity’s really important, and the two poles that we work with, at least in our lineage, is the heart fire and the sexual waters and how those two poles interface and connect is, will determine whether or not a person has a lot of orgasmic experience, a lot of love or nothing.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, great. And what is your lineage?

Saida Desilets: I studied with Taoist teacher, Mantak Chia, as well as other teachers, so the lineage that I use is a traditional Taoist lineage that incorporates sexual energy into its meditations and practices.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, great. Thank you. And how about yours? Are you using the same lineage?

-- Yeah, actually that’s sort of how we met, through the same lineage. We’ve known each other for quite a while and we both, I mean I studied with Mantak Chia, well I was certified to teach in ’05, but I met him in the early 90’s, and I studied with him at his center in Thailand, but… So he gave me the foundations, so that’s definitely my lineage, but since then I’ve gone on to study with a lot of other teachers in the Taoist and tantric traditions, and, as well as other, other modes, transpersonal psychology and various things. But, but I would definitely say that the roots of what we teach and what I teach comes from a very deep Taoist lineage, yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And what does polarity mean to you personally? I love what you said, it was so beautiful about night and day and it was very poetic, and heaven and earth and all of that, and this, what does it mean to you Sol?

--Well I think it’s the same, very much the same thing is, you know, a guy, a guy usually has a very strong, has a very overt relationship with his, his genitals, his sex organs, you know, he’s quite, he’s quite up front in the world in terms of that aspect, but a lot of guys have very ambiguous relationship the yin pulse. So we talked before about polarity between people, but there’s also polarity between, with one’s self, so when a guy is just, has, doesn’t have a strong relationship with his yin nature, his heart center, it’s, he can get a little unbalanced, so in the Tao what we talk about man’s yin pole being his heart center, and his yang pole being his sex center, and in women it’s the reverse. Her, the woman’s yin pole is her genitalia, and her yang pole is her heart. So that’s why we’re so complimentary to each other, and… But if a guy is just very identified with his yang pole and has no understanding of his yin receptive nature, he can pretty much burn up pretty quickly, and if a man has a strong understanding of polarity within himself, even that will seem to be turned on, but also stable and also open and also present, so he doesn’t get blown away by the fire element, his water element is also nourished. So it’s, I know this sounds a little esoterical and not chemical, but when a man is truly balanced within himself then he can, he’s not looking so much to the relationship to get fulfilled. The relationship becomes more about an expression of love, as opposed to a way to try and get something, you know, if that makes sense.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Actually, in fact, that’s sounding kind of hot and beautiful.

Saida Desilets: Mm hmm, very juicy. So, you wanted me to continue with polarity?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Sure.

Saida Desilets: Yes, okay, ‘cause it’s yummy. Excuse me. I love that, I just actually wanted to mention, because I’m sure that all your listeners, not all of them are heterosexual, and so these concepts, they could easily be applied to anybody. Polarity with same sex couples, obviously they can polarize themselves, so, within themselves and with each other, so I just wanted to say that because we’re using man/woman language and it’s the easiest way to transmit these teachings. The other thing I wanted to say about polarity is when we become this whole being, when, in ourselves, when the, our hearts are actually open and the sexual energy is open, I like to call it the creation of compassion or cum-passion, so it’s the blending of the orgasmic energy with love, and it creates this compassionate energy. And it actually ignites or initiates a maturity process in our sexuality. And very few people really know what that means to be in a mature sexual being. Most of our behaviors are still fairly juvenile when it comes to sexuality, so this alchemical process, this polarity process engages us in such a way that we get to mature this energy and it’s quite remarkable what happens when that energy is given permission to blossom more fully.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! So we’re going to take a break, and when we come back I’d love to have you describe for us maybe what that looks like. So this is Dr. Patti, and please stay with us. We will be right back. And right now we are talking with Saida Desilets about The Alchemy of Passion, and you can find out more about her at The Alchemy of Passion, and of course you can also find out more about them at our show notes for them and that will have their other websites where they do have some interesting DVD’s and CD’s and books, so lots of good stuff from Saida.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back, and we’re talking with Saida about The Alchemy of Passion. And I just want to put in a little reminder, their website is Alchemy of Passion, just in case anyone heard The Alchemy of Passion, just lose the ‘The’, it’s Alchemy of Passion. So as we were saying, I’d love to have a description… First I just want to clarify one thing, ‘cause I thought you made such a great point. For the men, the yang is the genitals and the yin is the heart, and for the woman then the yang is the heart and the yin is the genitals… So just now that we’re all on the same page about that, I loved what you were saying Saida about what a mature person looks like when they have cultivated the energy within themselves. I know I love being around someone who feels balanced. I can feel that. And there is, there is a succulence in a woman and a presence in a man that is delicious. So can you paint out for us what that would look like, that process by which a woman would develop that succulence and that balance within herself?

Saida Desilets: The very first step for a woman is to recognize that succulence is her birthright. So that’s the first step. Then I would say to engage in any modality that helps her be more aligned with and in touch with her body and her sensuality. I teach a whole series of practices that enables a woman to do that, but they can also seek that out in other modalities. The first step in the Jade goddess work, which is the female solo practice or polarity practice, is to get real clear on the sacredness of the genitals and its innate connection to the heart. So I think recently Christian Northrop, she’s a doctor, on Oprah did this wonderful meditation of connecting the heart with the second heart, and so that’s basically a woman can put a hand on her heart and one on her womb and just start to breathe and feel that connection, I want to give that for your listeners in case they actually want to start something today. And then the other teaching that we do is what are called Sexual Foundation Practices, and it’s about harnessing the power of ovarian energy from a woman. And when a woman harnesses this energy it’s amazing. It’s what makes a woman glow. You can always tell a woman who does this practice ‘cause she has this inner light, this inner radiance, and it has a benefit. Harnessing ovarian energy helps to harmonize your hormones. For women pre-menopause, it’s really fantastic as a way to regulate the menstrual cycle so it’s a little more pleasant. During menopause and post-menopause it assists a woman to regulate her hormones a little better so she’s not feeling the same dips, hormonal dips or lack of certain hormones. So it’s actually a very essential practice for women. I’d say it’s a life-long practice, and it’s very simple to do once you learn it. Another practice we do is breast massage, and I think this is really essential for the health of our breast tissue. These days there’s so much breast cancer. So whether you know a technical breast massage or not doesn’t matter; please just touch your breasts everyday. And just for this show, I’d love to say this, it’s good to have some breast friends, people that you trust that may also want to honor your breasts. It’s a lot of fun to do that if you do that consciously. And the third piece that I teach is around the use of a jade egg. It’s a small piece of jade in the shape of an egg, it’s drilled, and a woman would use this vaginally. And so there’s multiple levels of this practice for a woman. The first one is first of all to connect with the voice of her own yoni or her genitals, and to start to follow what that voice is saying. This is really essential. The yoni has so much wisdom, and she knows best. So that’s the first step. Once the woman’s connected with that voice, quite often the yoni will respond differently, and if there’s been trauma or pain or abuse or surgeries that have somehow inhibited a free-flow of her sexual energy, listening to that voice is key for healing. Then there’s actually practices to heal the pelvic floor. So as we are a sitting culture, all women are not, basically all women at some point their muscles seem to atrophe, unless they’re consciously working with their pelvic floor muscles.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So I’m going to hop in now. Is there something that you could recommend to our women listeners that they could maybe go home and do tonight, maybe the one with the, the breast massage one I think we could go home and do or maybe get our male partners to help us with or someone else, I don’t know. But maybe the pelvic one or something we can do?

Saida Desilets: Sure. This is a great exercise, it’s in my book, it’s called One, Two, Three, Bliss, and this exercise trains, it’s toning. It also creates suppleness, and then a third key ingredient that’s never really taught is dexterity, and a woman must have a very dexterous yoni if she wants to have more pleasure, and so One, Two, Three, Bliss is fairly simple. So a woman would wash her hands and insert her middle finger, and if you look at your middle finger right now you can see three segments. And those three segments actually correspond to three bands of muscles in the vagina. So when the finger’s inside, you would try to squeeze the lower segment, independent of the others. Then you go to the tip of your finger and try to squeeze really deep in the yoni, and then the middle, and you’d keep repeating that patter; bottom, top, middle. And it’s fun to do and you can do this anywhere. The reason we use our finger initially is for bio feedback, ‘cause there’d probably be a section of the vagina that isn’t awake or doesn’t have strength, and one that has a lot of strength. So you want to relax the one that has a lot of strength and create more suppleness in this area, and strength in the areas that are weaker.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that sounds cool. So you are actually putting in your middle finger… I’m saying this back so people can hear it a second time… And you’re squeezing either the first segment of your finger or the second segment of your finger or the third segment of your finger. And that reminds me of a very funny story of a friend of mine who used to tell me of another friend, this is a long time ago, who used to put a banana up and was able to cut off segments of the banana and just pop them out, and I was sort of thinking if maybe she had done these practices and was able to cut off like two thirds of the banana and one…

Saida Desilets: Exactly. So the yoni’s an incredibly powerful place once she’s given permission to fully express herself. And just like a dancer needs to train her body in order to dance without any technique, you just dance freely, to make love really freely it’s important that the yoni has a little bit of strength and suppleness dexterity so that she can fully express her full range of pleasure.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that’s a fabulous exercise. I love that.

Saida Desilets: Yes, and what’s great about it is you can do it in the car, so if you’re stuck in traffic or in a bank lineup or a business meeting that’s a little boring, or when you’re making love.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Minus the finger, of course.

Saida Desilets: Of course, no finger, but…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, one never knows.

Saida Desilets: Usually you don’t need the finger. Once you understand where those three segments are, then you don’t need the finger. If at some point you had a jade egg, then you could use that and move it around internally through the…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, you’re a big believer in the egg, and I know you sell the egg, so is the egg the same principle of the finger or is that actually getting different muscles?

Saida Desilets: Well the egg, just like when you go to a gym, if you just move your body freely, that’s one thing, but add a tiny bit of weight you start to have a little bit more success in toning the muscles and working with your muscles. So the jade egg provides that for the yoni, but it has other qualities, and one of the qualities it has is that jade is a very gentle cleansing stone. So it helps in the purification process of the yoni, both on the physical level on the emotional psychosexual level. And so this work is not just dealing with the pelvic floor health, it’s dealing with, “Wow, I cannot separate how I feel from, from my juiciness”, so it puts into play the relationship using something called sexual reflexology.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, now I have one more question about the jade egg. I’ve used Benoit balls and kind of found them to be pretty orgasmic, so do you, could you get off on these jade eggs?

Saida Desilets: Well you know what’s beautiful is yes, of course, you can, but it’s not really the point. But you can wear it all the time. Some women sleep with it. The only time you wouldn’t wear it is when you make love, there’s only room for one, so you choose. But yes, absolutely. I believe that the vagina, being the negative polarity in the body, it’s always wanting to take something in, energy’s coming in through the yoni, so when there’s an egg, it gives the vagina something to do, and she’s quite happy with this. So women who wear their egg, you can tell they, they tend to have a stronger posture, a higher sense of aliveness, and it’s also intriguing for their partner if they whisper over them, you know, “I’m wearing my egg right now”, and it’s kind of a fascinating concept.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Are you wearing one now?

Saida Desilets: Actually I’m not right now.

Dr. Patti Taylor: ‘Cause I did complement her on her posture.

Saida Desilets: Yes, yes. No right now I’m not, but normally I am. I was just busy prior to the show. So, thank you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, well you actually do sell the eggs on your website, so I know you’re, and you do write about them in your book, which I have read, it’s a beautiful book.

Saida Desilets: Mm hmm. I believe that women, the other beautiful part of the egg that’s, I just find fascinating is it really tunes you into when you lose your power as a woman. So women who, when they argue with their partner about money, the egg will fall out. Or they’re at their job and their boss will say something and the egg falls out. So they start to notice, “Oh wow, when, I guess I’m, I must be losing my power, my energy, ‘cause every time I do that my vagina goes plugh”, and so, so having the egg there is a reminder to be in her power and to soften and open and make some conscious choices.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Now I have one more question very quickly. Someone gave me a rose quartz egg once, so does it have to be jade?

Saida Desilets: It’s a great question. If it’s not jade, attempt to find a stone that is not amplifying. Rose quartz is amplifying, so it amplifies everything. So I would say at first you don’t want to amplify everything because probably there’s some energies that need to be cleansed. If there’s some anger or fear or shame or guilt, you want to clear those out prior to using an amplifying crystal.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay. So start with the jade and when things are going really well…

Saida Desilets: You can use the quartz, yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Get adventuresome, ooh.

Saida Desilets: Thank you Patricia.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, great. Well we are going to take another break. We are talking with Saida about The Alchemy of Passion. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and you can learn more about her, at her website, Alchemy of Passion. So please stay with us. We will be right back.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back, and this is Dr. Patti Taylor, and we are talking about The Alchemy of Passion and building polarity, and lets hear it for the guys now. So I want to talk to Sol about what men can do.

--Ooh, that’s a tricky question. Okay, so there’s a few pieces to this, but I’m going to keep it really much in line with what I was saying before about, you know, the heart and the sexual, the fire and the water, the heart and the sex. And there’s a lot of practices that I teach men in terms of building sexual energy, in terms of growing the basic primal sexual energy and potency. But the big, and I see there’s a few people teaching similar things… What I do find is lacking and is really important piece is in man’s ability to grow his certain sexual maturity process, in terms of like getting in touch with his yin pole, his heart censor, at the same time as growing his yang pole, his basic sexual energy. And that, that can be a little ambiguous, as a guy getting more in touch with his heart. I hear that those terms used a lot in spiritual circles, and this is like, “What does that mean”, you know. So I think, I think what happens is what I do lead guys through, and usually it’s a process of understanding what separates him from his heart, because his heart’s there, it’s present, it’s always there, but there’s many clouds that keep him separate from his yin, his ability to open his emotions and his heart center. So men, you know, it’s something that’s really rarely talked about, but men have often in their life gone through many situations where he’s actually, it’s almost like he’s been raped emotionally. So he’s been abused emotionally, he’s been raped emotionally, he’s been, at some point he’s really had to shut down, put a big metal plate over his heart in order not to feel the pain that usually he’s subjected to on an emotional level. And that can take a bit of time to release that metal plate if you like. So I often take guys through the process of understanding their shutter in terms of sexuality, and that the sort of stories they’ve made up around themselves from youth and through their maturation process around sexuality. And it’s extremely common to find guys who find it very hard to appreciate themselves, their masculine essence, their masculine nature, their sexual nature unconditionally, because often it’s laid with what they feel like they have to be, how they should perform, how they should appear for others. So their whole ability to love themselves unconditionally and love their sexuality and love their emotional nature, allow that to blossom, is often met with a lot of conditions. So that’s the first step part. I sort of basically get guys to unwind all the stuff they’ve made up around themselves sexually. And it’s not like we go through this big emotional cathartic process, but it’s like I just get them in touch with an aspect of themselves that is able to completely be okay with every aspect of their nature, so they’re not polarizing themselves, they’re not like, they’re not like self-loathing, they’re not having any sense of self-judgment, they’re just allowing everything within their psyche, within their sexual psyche as well to just be, and that takes some, that takes some practice.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I’m sure a lot of guys can relate to that. Let me ask you, are there any practices that our listeners might be able to try at home?

--: Yeah. Well the other piece I’m about to say will sort of help bridge that gap because the other piece that, a man’s sexual energy, his seminal, the power that’s stored in his hormonal senses and his sexual senses is very massive and often the guy is going to go through a lot of swings, energetic, he’s going to be either really turned on and really super like horny and really wanting to like release that sort of anxiety, that super horniness, and there’s another part from where often he’ll swing to the other direction where he’ll be very deficient and he’ll very empty and very sort of gray and very uninspired. He’s often oscillating between those two poles. And so the practice I teach is to practice testicle breathing and seminal expansion exercise, where he learns to draw the yin energy from his testicles into his body. So it’s a very specific breathing practice, which draws energy from his seminal energy that’s created in the testicles up into his body and circulated through his body. And when he does this as a specific practice, it’s, it takes some sort of teaching, but when he gets this practice his energy levels increase, but they stabilize as well. So it’s a bit like the low carb diet, you know, when people are going up and down with their sugars and caffeine or whatever they like, what we’re doing is it’s like stabilizing his sexual energy so that he’s always turned on, but he’s also very calm and he’s also centered and very present, and he’s not going through these like ups and downs in his life where he’s either really turned on or really empty.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that sounds nice. Seminal energy, just as a definition is the energy of the semen, right?

--Yes, yeah. And so the practice I teach is a seminal expansion practice where he, instead of needing to release all the time, he learns to circulate it through his body in a way that’s gentle, in a way that’s sustaining and in a way that actually gives him back his youth. Everyday I do my practice, and everyday I’m inspired, everyday I’m turned on, everyday I’m like really impassioned by everything around me, especially my partner. So I’m really juiced by my partner. I’m never going through these roller coaster, like some days I’m hot for my partner, I’m really hot for life, and then other days I’m like I can’t stand the sight of my partner and I just can’t face up to life, you know, so that doesn’t exist for me anymore pretty much. It used to a lot in my youth, but now it’s just very, I just feel turned on all the time, but I’m also very present and relaxed, I’m not sort of like flipping out, you know, I’m very stable.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well is this on your DVD, this testicle breathing?

--Yes it is.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so for now then, so we’ll reference that on our show notes, but is there something that our listeners can just sort of go home and practice tonight, some advice or some tip? ‘Cause I always like to leaver our listeners with something they can go home and do.

--Sure. There’s a really cool practice where a guy can gently massage his testicles, and at the same time notice the relationship between his testicles and his kidneys. ‘Cause the kidneys are found that provide all the foundation energy of, for men, and in Chinese medicine they consider the testicles as the outer kidneys or the kidneys as the inner testicles. There’s a very strong symbiotic relationship between the two, so a guy can actually gently massage his testicles, and at the same time really close his eyes and breathe into his kidney, directly into his kidneys, as if his kidneys are like balloons and he’s imagining inflating and deflating balloons in his kidneys, so he’s breathing deep into his belly and in his waist and into his kidneys while he’s gently massaging his testicles. And what he’ll notice is he’ll feel a tingling or a pulsing or a strengthening of energy of the kidneys themselves. It’s not like he’s arousing himself in a yang way, he’s not getting highly aroused, he’s actually, but he’s, it’s called a yin arousal where he feels the yin energy from the testicles and is drawing it directly to the kidney.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And how long would a guy do this for?

--If he did it every morning, it’s fine. If he did it, I do it pretty much most mornings or at least every second morning. But if he did it, after a couple of weeks he’d notice he’d have a lot more energy, he’d have stable energy and he’d be, notice that he was much more inspired everyday, he’d be turned on by life everyday, and, you know, he’d probably feel less inclined to have stimulants on coffee and alcohol and cigarettes, he’d probably find that those things was needed, you know, because his energy was already awake and turned on, so he’s not just going through this roller coaster ride, so… That’s just one thing, he’s just getting a relationship with his kidneys. A guy has to really look after his kidney energy, which often gets very depleted. So once he, that’s the first step to establish that connection.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that’s a very hot tip. I can’t remember the last time anyone has come on this show and talked about a guys testicles.

--Well this is the thing, see like there’s so many workshops for women, and women this, women that, they’re always getting the focus in this sort of whole arena, which is great, but guys, it’s just like, I mean I don’t see any stuff out there for guys at all in terms of like real energetic practice and terms of like integration, I get a lot of abstract, abstraction, there’s a lot abstractive talk around what a guy should be and blah, blah, but no one is giving the tools, no one’s giving the actual practice.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I agree. And a guys testicles, I mean if they’re going to talk about something it’s their lingam or their cock or whatever, but their testicles. And, you know, testicles are very nice, right? They’re warm, they’re soft, they’re fuzzy and furry. And now you’re telling me they’re so important for your health.

Sol: Yeah. What’s even more, it’s even beyond, it’s like the kidneys themselves, like the, you know, it’s like you get a relationship with your… What I teach a guy to do is to sort of be so I call it cock centric, you know. He starts to learn that his whole body is like the vasra, his whole body is like his sexual organ and he starts to sensitize his whole energy body so he’s very sensitive to the world around him. He’s very turned on all the time. He’s not just waiting for his little guy down stairs to wake up, he’s actually, he’s more, his whole body is his lingam, his whole body, his mind, his buns, his whole body becomes his lingam, yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That’s the whole, that’s what’s so beautiful about the Taoism, isn’t it that exactly what you said. We’re not so focused on the cock or just the genitals, our whole being is our sexual organ. It’s just so beautifully said what you said. Well listen, we’re going to bring our first show to a close, and the, pretty much the only redeeming note I can think of is we have a second show, because we are going on from this incredible show to talk about how to connect as couples in the alchemy of passion, now that we have been building polarity as singles, and I’m just really glad that you both have talked about being singles and taking care of ourselves. And so before we do close down the show, I’m going to invite both of you to leave our listeners with an inspiring thought for the day, so Saida…

Saida Desilets: Definitely that your succulence is in your own hands and your hearts and your yoni, and there’s nothing more juicy and profound than being in a right relationship, and when you’re like that you attract another juicy right relationship, so definitely take time to give yourself pleasure as often as possible.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! Care to add to that incredibly inspired comment.

--Oh god. It’s hard to top that one. It’s…

Dr. Patti Taylor: Some challenges are just plain fun though, aren’t they?

-- Yeah. Okay, the first thing comes to mind is feel your belly and chop off your head. I don’t know. You know, like there’s a point at which what we teach gets very heady and the guys, I’m talking dirty to the guys it’s like often guys get really heady when they start to communicate about how things work, you know, I’m like how this works and how this works, and there’s a point where you just go, “Nah”, and just chop your head off and just feel, feel into your body and just sort of let it go man, just stop trying to work it out, you know, so…

Dr. Patti Taylor: I love that.

--That’s one of the things I say often.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Beautiful.

--: ‘Cause if you don’t do it, she will eventually.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, we’re going to bring our show to a close with these brilliant inspired thoughts. Thank you both so much for coming on the show today.

Saida Desilets: Thank you Patricia. Its been such a juicy experience.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, thank you, thank you.

-- Thanks Patricia. It’s great to meet you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, my pleasure. Oh, we’re so lucky to have Saida there traveling all around the world and she stopped by to see me and to talk to all of you, so just feel the love. So that does bring us to the end of our show. Please if you will help me out and fill out survey.personallifemedia.com and tell me more about who you are. And if you want to find out more about our phenomenal guests, you can get transcripts of this show at personallifemedia.com and go to the Expanded Lovemaking show and just click on this episode, The Alchemy of Passion. And also please visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor at expandedlovemaking.com, where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, services and events. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and that’s all for now. I remain yours in ever expanding lovemaking, and I will see you next week.