Episode 92 - Mastering Male Expanded Orgasm (Part Two) with Ian Ellington

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the expanded love making show, I am your host Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com and I teach you how to make exquisite love. This is part two of a two part series. Okay men, can we talk about something personal right now. Have you ever wondered if there is more to the climax or high note of sex than a simple squeeze and burst type of orgasm? I have run across hundreds of men personally who shared with me their stories of taking their own orgasmic experiences way beyond where I call the standard male model of orgasmic response. Now, not too many people teach on this topic so we are incredibly lucky to have with us today a guest who will share with us, and yes by us I do mean both men and women now, his expertise on the topic Male Expanded Orgasm so I want to welcome back to our show Ian Ellington, welcome back.

Ian Ellington: Thanks Patti, it is great to be back with you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, it is great to have you back. So we already talked a little bit about Ian. He is a doctor, he is a tongue treater, breath worker, body worker and so much more. And this is going to be a really fun show because we will learn about male expanded orgasm and in the end we will even get a sneak peek into some of the fascinating things that Ian teaches when he is not teaching about male expanded orgasm. Okay, so I hope you have heard our first show because we kind of set the stage with how to work with mastering ejaculatory control and breath work so it was a really interesting foundation and we are just going to kind of hop in here. So, but we can kind of go back over a little bit of the information here. So, where would you start if somebody wanted to know what are some of the important things as a foundation for, let’s define male expanded orgasm maybe as a beginning place.

Ian Ellington: okay, I think as men we can all attest to how wonderful and exquisite ejaculatory orgasm is but as I like to say to my clients and groups but wait there is more. In that more is the expanded orgasm and what I mean by that is that we, as men can actually learn using the principles of breath and sound and movement and tension to become multi orgasmic, to separate our ejaculation from our orgasm and in defining expanded orgasm what I would say is that it is about moving beyond the physiological aspect of orgasm and using orgasmic energy in your body to work towards greater health, greater vitality, transformation, to move into higher states of consciousness and ultimately to connect with divinity and all there is.

Dr. Patti Taylor: What a beautiful definition, wow. So there is a lot going on when we talk about male expanded orgasm or just expanded orgasm and when you think about it really, you are taking something  that lasts for you know, 5 seconds right, it’s eight contractions based about a second apart I mean that’s the male standard model and you are in, you  know you are supposed to feel really transidental  right and I mean nature gave us that and you enter teaching men how to expand and extend that amazing feeling for how long?

Ian Ellington: well, as long as you want it.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well you must be very popular.

Ian Ellington: Yeah, you know you are right that amazing experience we have right at the moment of orgasm, that for most men typically lasts for just a few seconds. It is quite powerful and when we can learn to expand that over an extended period of time, it just becomes that much more powerful. One of my great teachers is Osho and one of the things I am really, like about what he says about orgasm is that the amazing feeling that we have at the moment of orgasm is not necessarily due to the physical sensations we are having in our body but the three things that are happening simultaneously at that moment and those three things are a sense of timelessness, a sense of egolessness and a sense of naturalness or return to our natural state and so to be able to take those three exquisite things that are happening simultaneously and expand them from just a couple of seconds until minutes or hours even is quite a remarkable thing.

Dr. Patti Taylor: It is quite a remarkable thing. So, let’s figure out how we can do that. For women it is not such a challenge because we don’t have to worry about the refectory period that we talked about in the last show, in other words if I, you know shoot my stuff so to speak, I you know that just frankly gets me more pumped up to do it again and again and again. I don’t have to worry about biology in the sense but a man does. But now does he or not because you were saying that there are two different things, there is the ejaculation response and then there is the orgasmic response, could you tell us more about that?

Ian Ellington: Yes, that’s right. Ejaculation and orgasm are two separate physiological responses in the body controlled by two different aspects of our nervous system and most of us know that they typically occur simultaneously but actually you can learn to separate those two so that your body can have orgasm without ejaculation and once you have learned to do that there is no refectory period because you are not ejaculating you can have the orgasm with all the exquisite pleasure that is associated with that and then continue on without loosing your desire, without loosing your erection and one orgasm adds to the next and adds to the next and adds to the next much like most women are able to do.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, now how would you teach a man to do this?

Ian Ellington: Well, we first get back to those keys that we talked about in the first show, the breath, the sound and the movement. The most important thing is to create a container that feels safe and that feels non-judgmental, then within that container I guide the men through exercises in breathing and expressing their pleasure through sound and movement. Once we have got that going we throw in the erotic energy and get the sexual excitement to start to rise. Then there are series of body work techniques that I use that activate the man’s condolany and to try to get the energy flowing through the body and taking the focus of off genital ejaculation.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so what would the couple of techniques be?

Ian Ellington: Well, I have a little activation technique I use for our starts and gentle tapping on the sacrum. The sacrum is the seed of our cundolaney or orgasmic life force energy and for most of us it is said to be sleeping like a cold serpent there and the second shocker of the body or anatomically in the area of our sacrum which is at the base of the spine. So by gently tapping and it is almost like knocking on the door which is sort of saying “hello, anybody in there, you want to wake up now”. Tapping and massaging and moving the sacrum then taking my fingers and moving up the spine from the sacrum, up to the crown of the head really starts to energetically open up channels where that sexual energy can start to flow from the pelvis up the spine.

Dr. Patti Taylor: How fascinating……anything else you want to share with us.

Ian Ellington: Well I often times use sound myself. I will sound certain, what I call seed syllables into each persons shockra and what that does is it sort of creates an opening along the different energy centers of the body that allows the sexual energy or cungling to flow more efficiently.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Very interesting. Do you ever work with the million dollar spot which is the outer prostate spot which is half way between the anus and the base of the man’s lingam or penis to stop the flow of ejaculation. I know that is a standard technique, what do you think of that?

Ian Ellington: Yes, absolutely I work with the million dollar spot or the root shocker quite a bit, you know in Tantra the root shocker is thought to be the secret to enlightenment. So I found in my personal practice that using the million dollar point to interrupt ejaculation is not as effective as some of the other techniques I use. But I certainly use the perineum or the million dollar point to interjectly stimulate and awaken this condolany and again them move it up the spine to the crown of the head.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, well we are going to take a quick break but I promise, promise, promise we will be right back. We are talking with Ian Ellington, this is Dr. Patti Taylor you can learn more about Ian at his website thegardenofian.com and he has got a blog, he has got videos. You can find out about his courses and also his private sessions so I will spell that for you gardenofian.com, we will be right back.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We are back so okay so you were saying that a man can separate his orgasm form ejaculation and how long doe sit take for a man to learn?

Ian Ellington: Well, you know it varies all over the place. When I set my foot on this a long time ago it actually took me two to three years of exploring before I finally had this Condolenia awakening and learn to separate my orgasm from ejaculation but I have had clients come in with the matter of an hour or an hour and a half and they have got it down path.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, I am really really glad you said that because I know some men who said to me, you know “gee, Patti I tried that and I gave up after a month or you know six months” and here you tried for two years, you are teaching it so what a role model that is. That’s amazing I love you shared that.

Ian Ellington: Yeah, my message would be to all the men out there, don’t give up, keep working and keep finding someone that can assist you and guide you in this process if you can’t do it on your own.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So, yes, yes I just loved it you shared that. So what’s the upside, I mean what could happen after you learned about multiple orgasms, what might it look like you know for someone who is having  a really good day.

Ian Ellington: Well, it’s a……. it really can be quite an expansive, amazing experience. Once you move beyond the ejaculatory orgasm and learn how to allow this orgasmic energy to flow through your body, lots of different things can happen. I have seen people whose health drastically improves, I have seen people whose weight suddenly starts to go towards their ideal ultimate weight without them even trying. More energy, more focus, more creativity and over all I think they, for me at least a lot of spiritual things that happen. You get a greater sense of your oneness with all there is in the Universe, you have a much greater sense of your connection to all there is and to divinity and it really can take you to higher states of consciousness.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Aha, so that’s a really good motivation of you know starting with the health benefits all the way to the higher states of consciousness. Could you paint out a picture of what a session might look like?

Ian Ellington: Sure. Well my typical sessions last about two hours and from the time a client would arrive. First I would just create a space where we can sit and chat for a little while and get to know each other, start to feel a little bit more comfortable with each other and begin to create an environment of safety and trust. We talk about boundaries, we talk about what their fears are, we talk about what their desires are, we talk about their intention and once I feel like we are on the same page, than we move into a process of really getting them in their body and out of their head. And we do that again with breathing first of all, by having them focus on their breath they really go into a greater sense of being grounded in their body and then I encourage them to allow whatever is coming up for them in terms of emotions or feelings or sexual arousal to be expressed in their body through sound or through movement. The third phase is we will start some of these techniques I mentioned maybe some of the sacrum tapping or the sounding into the shockers and then ultimately add some genital sexual stimulation either self induced or induced by a partner if it is with a couple or by me if I am working one on one with someone to increase the sexual arousal while at the same time maintain their breathing and sounding and movement in that state of relaxation. We then talk about what happens if they feel like they are getting close to ejaculation and I go through a series of both them doing a part and me doing to a part to then move that energy that normally would be ejaculated up through the body and up the spine and over the course of the session we just keep repeating that over and over again, it then takes them further and further into an expanded state of being.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so it’s like the sky is the limit.

Ian Ellington: The sky is the limit.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so I was just going to say I know a lot of guys that have multiple expanded orgasm so I think it is a lot more common than people realize so I want to say how come it is amongst your friends I mean I realize you may have unusual friends but it is just sort of you know see if there is any myth busting we can do here.

Ian Ellington: Right, well certainly there are some people that I know this is in their experience for as long back as they can remember they were just gifted with this ability from the beginning. Those are very lucky and in my experience those people are also very rare. I think most of us have succumb to the model of sex and sexual energy equals ejaculation, so it takes a little bit of undoing and unlearning to retrain our self to how to move into this state of expanded orgasm.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, I just want to say something as a woman. I mean, my partner definitely practices male expanded orgasm and it is the most amazing gift to me as a woman that he does that. First of all not only does he give me expanded orgasms but it is like I am not the only one who is like, you know holding the show and carrying the energy and it is like I do my part and then I get to go to the show afterwards, like not only have I been the show and he has gotten to you know create that and all of that but then we get a whole part two you know which is his show and his whole experience of multiple orgasm and expanded orgasm so it is like the only thing more wonderful than my own expanded orgasm is the fact that he is also having them so I just have to say, so exciting for me as a woman that he has them as well and God forbid if I am ever tired or anything will just let him have one and I will just take his ride and so I am just as a woman I am endorsing them as their phenomenal. I just love him.

Ian Ellington: Absolutely Patti the only thing that is better about learning how to take yourself into an expanded orgasmic state is to be able to share that with a partner. I had a couple who came to see me, a young couple in their early 20’s and the session was generated by the guy in the group who brought his girlfriend along and he said the reason that I am here is I want to learn how to be a better lover for my girlfriend I want to learn how to become multiple orgasmic and I want to learn how to carry erotic energy in every aspect of my life not just when we are having sex. That is a pretty incredible intention from a 20 year old guy but we had an amazing session that actually went on about 4 hours between the two of them where we practiced all these techniques with me guiding the two of them working on each other and it ended up in this really incredibly expanded place for both of them with such open hearts and such an intimate connection and it really changed their life from then on,

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah it can be a tremendous gift to the women I think is what I am hearing.

Ian Ellington: Yes, absolutely. It is a great way for couples to connect on a whole different level other than their usual routine sex life because the possibilities are infinite once you discover the ability to do this.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Absolutely, well we are going to take another break and then we are going to come back and find out little bit more about other aspects of your practice. So please stay with us. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am here with Ian Ellington and you can find out more about the Garden of Ian, I-A-N instead of Eden, a garden of Eden, a garden of Ian, please stay with us.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We are back and we are talking about mastering male expanded orgasm I just wanted to take a few minutes because your website you just do so many fun and interesting things and I just wanted to kind of open up the conversation as I have you here about what are some of the other possible things that you teach you work mostly with men and women just what are some of the possibilities that you can teach men and women. We started out our conversation in show one that men have shame and conditioning to overcome and so what is the other side of this. What happens when you undo some of that shame and conditioning, what is there to learn?

Ian Ellington: Well I think if I had to choose one term for what I do and what I offer it is that sacred intimacy and what I mean by that is that I create a safe and non-judgmental and loving sacred space for men to come and explore all of who they are sexually without any judgment or shame and so that can take on many many forms but what typically happens is at once people feel supported and that non-judgmental space they can get more deeply in touch with their shadow, with their wounds, with their desires, with their fantasies and be witnessed by someone as they explore that which can be a really powerful transforment of experience for most people.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And what is it about the witnessing that do you think that is so powerful?

Ian Ellington: I think the biggest thing is that it takes us out of our secrecy around our sexuality, it takes us out of our shame and our guilt that we have accumulated. We often think that when it comes to our sexual desires and our sexual fantasies and our sexual secrets that we are the only one that feels that way and as you explore this world more deeply and as you are witnessed by someone who can hold non-judgmental space you realize that you are no different then anyone else and that starts to shift the way you think about your sexuality rather than it being a dark secret or something to keep hidden it then becomes an opportunity for you to start to celebrate all of your sexuality and all of your sexual beingness.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow that is truly beautiful. Do you feel that this kind of work that you are doing one on one how do you think it is impacting the World at large if infact you do feel that it is impacting the World at large.

Ian Ellington: That’s a great question Patti and really the answer to that is at the heart to why I do this work. I think that as we learn, as individuals to shed our shame and shed our guilt around our bodies and around our sexuality that that will infact start to shift the consciousness of the Planet and in doing that we can then come into a new relationship with the Planet itself so that we are, as we no longer harm and hide our own bodies, we will have a greater sense of love and appreciation for the Earth’s body.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And what is your vision for how you contribute to that?

Ian Ellington: Well, my vision is that one person at a time. I’d like to assist people into really celebrating their wholeness and all of who they are and really coming into a place of complete self acceptance and self love for who they are.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that is truly beautiful. We are going to be bringing this show to an end pretty soon but before we do I want to invite you once again to leave our listeners with a thought and perhaps you might want to leave us in one of your favorite quotes and kind of bring that into what you are thinking or just otherwise leave us with a thought for the day, just have some great quotes of your friends or so, just do whatever you want, any thought you are thinking that we can take with us.

Ian Ellington: Yeah, one of my favorite quotes comes from the Naustic Gospel of Saint Thomas and is attributed to Jesus who I think was one of the greatest Tantric masters of all times and he said “He who has discovered the World, ahs found the body but He who has found the body is superior to the World”.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow and how do you add to that your own words, Ian.

Ian Ellington: In my own words you know I think it is time for us to realize that we have all been sold the bill of goods when it comes to how we think about our body and our body’s pleasure. It is time to wake up to the fact that our body and our body is sacred. Our body and our body’s pleasure is sacred, it’s our temple and it can be our vehicle to take us to enlightenment.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, well thank you so much. We are going to close out the show we have been talking about Ian Ellington. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, for text and transcripts of the show and other shows on the Personal Life Media Network, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com. You can send me e-mail at [email protected] also please visit me Dr. Patti Taylor at expandedlovemaking.com where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products and services and events. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, that’s all for now. I remain yours in expanded love making and I will see you next week.