Episode 55: The Intimate Lovemaking Dance (Part One) with Gayle Michaels

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Hear Dr. Patti chat with Gayle Michaels. an anthropologist, a sexologist, a writer and an Intimate Dance Teacher. She is the author of the book, Vinyasa Tantra Illustrated, How to do The Intimate Dance. She works with clients in person and by phone and is located in Austin, Texas.

Gayle has developed the series of lovemaking positions designed to give you that ultimate lovemaking experience, which she calls The Intimate Dance. In this show, you’ll learn more about this elegant and sophisticated style of making love that involves transitioning through numerous positions while remaining intimately united with your lover.

In Part One of this interview, hear Dr. Patti and Gayle describe the positions, some of the emotional and spiritual requirements for doing this to perfection. You’ll also learn about the physical requirements for a man to go through all eleven positions and other details, such as how hard (or easy) is this to learn and how long does it take? Find out how it feels to achieve this state of bliss!  You’ll also hear the experiences of some of the people who have studied this method.

Transcript

Narrator: This program is intended for mature audiences only.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Love Making show. This is part one of a two part show. I am your host Dr. Patty Taylor of Expandedlovemaking.com and I teach you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever dreamed possible.

Today on the show we are talking about reaching Nirvana through making love. How often have you wondered, "Is there more that I could be experiencing for my love making, specifically intercourse?" What if it were possible to experience the ultimate bliss just from the positions you were in.

So here to tell us more about how we can have this experience is our guest today, Gayle Michaels.

Gayle Michaels: A style of love making that involves moving through many different positions without breaking the intimate connection.

The intensity of the sexual experience can be complete when you go with the natural law governing the spiraling effect of rekindling the energy.

She can spit around on top and there are quite a few positions that she can go through as she spins around on top. The woman who can do this, they call them spinners. I heard one guy say "It's like there a helicopter."

If a man is afraid of emotional intimacy and a heart connection, then he tends to require a lot of fantasy, a lot of visual stimulation, and a lot of friction to stay hard.

Dr. Taylor: Welcome Gayle.

Gayle: Hi Patti.

Dr. Taylor: Hi. It's great to have you here. Well, let me tell you a little bit about Gayle. Gayle Micheals is an anthropologist, a sexologist, a writer, and an intimate dance teacher.

She is the author of the book "Vanyasa Tantra Illustrated: How to do the Intimate Dance" [sp]. She works with clients in person and by phone, and is located in Austin Texas.

So Gayle has developed a series of love making positions designed to give you that ultimate love making experience. And she calls this series "The Intimate Dance".

Today then, we are going to learn more about this elegant and sophisticated style of making love that involves transitioning through numerous positions while remaining intimately united with your lover.

Wow, that sounds really hot!

Gayle: It is hot.

Dr. Taylor: It is hot. Well let's get started then. I guess we will just start with just a tiny bit about you. How did you get into the business of adult sex education?

Gayle: Well, my career as a sexual healer, I suppose, began when I was a child and a trusted elderly caregiver began to pay me for French kisses and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. So I was already taking care of someone else's feelings and making him feel good. And of course the reward was nice. And that evolved me into prostitution which I did for quite a few years.

I found that to be very unfulfilling and mutually exploitative; me of the men and men of the me. I from there began to think about what I could do that would truly serve a clientele and myself. And I became a sexologist and began to read books on Tantra and began to think about how I could help these people who were willing to pay for sex because they wanted it so bad and needed it so much to get it without having to pay by having self confidence, skills, and abilities that would make them more attractive to the opposite sex.

And I developed a curriculum and began to do adult sex education.

Dr. Taylor: Well, so I guess you really have a very interesting perspective on what would be useful since you have been out there in the trenches, so to speak, and observing first hand with a number of people.

Gayle: Yes. I did have quite a promiscuous career for a while. And I did learn a lot about the pitfalls and the issues that people bring into a relationship that have to be healed or at least reframed and resolved in order for a more satisfying sexual relationship to ensue.

Dr. Taylor: Well, great. So there is nothing like working with a lot of different people to really be a good teacher in something. So can you describe the intimate dance for us?

Gayle: Yes. It is a style of love making that involves moving through many different positions without breaking the intimate connection. If you look at sexual energy like electricity, if you were to wrap a copper wire around a magnet it conducts electricity. Well, sexual energy is sort of electric in nature. And most people, when they change positions, they break the intimate connection. But if you spiral the feminine sexual energy around the lingum, it is similar to wrapping the copper wire around the magnet and the sexual energy continues to flow and become more intense through the sexual experience.

And so in playing with this idea, I found that it tremendously increases passion so much so that when you are good at it and the man leads the woman, she can go into a surrendered trance state and reach heights or depths of passion; I don't know which way you want to look at it. I guess you all end up in the same place since it's a circle. But that the intensity of the sexual experience can be complete when you go with the natural law governing the spiraling effect of the [xx] energy.

Dr. Taylor: Well that sounds really hot. And I just want to say for our listeners, who use different terms, lingen is another word for whatever you want to call it: penis or cock or anything like that.

So what might that look like? Could you kind of just paint out an overview for us? If I was just watching you and a lover?

Gayle: Well, there is more to it than just sexual positioning. I say there are eight characteristics that make a lover a tremendous, unforgettable lover. And the first one is: gives a fabulous massage. The second one is: penetrates without using the hands. I teach the intimate dance sequence beginning with missionary style. You can begin it and end it anywhere you want. The point is to spiral the energy and to move through all the positions without coming apart.

So I begin it missionary style, if you can imagine that. And the man points, aims his penis, finds that little concave moon shaped area right below a woman's pubic bone, places the glands under that concave moon shaped area under the pubic bone, and begins to rotate his hips like Elvis Presley using the head of his penis like a sophisticated massage tool.

And as he rotates, the woman's labia will begin to blossom and get really really juicy. And he will refrain from shoving in and hammering in like a nail, like most sex happens, and will continue to spiral, she will blossom and almost snap around the head of the penis. And then if he continues to spiral all the way down into the bottom, then make love in missionary style for a while, and then began to rotate her leg. Move, let's say, her left leg up to his right shoulder and then over to his left shoulder and then down to his left hip. And so she's spiraling her leg in front of him over, sort of like the hand on a clock. And then if she turns face downward and he places a hand underneath her hip and lifts, she can slide her knee up into doggie without them ever coming apart.

And then continue the rotation so that she's done one 360 degree rotation with him being the guide on the top. And then if he slips his hand under her hip and rolls her over and sits her on top, she can spin around on top and there are quite a few positions that she can go through as she spins around on top.

The women who can do this, they call them spinners. And I've heard one guy say "It's like they are a helicopter!", because they kind of twirl around with the man laying flat on his back.

Dr. Taylor: Wow. Well I think any woman who could do that would be extremely popular. We are going to take a break to support our sponsor here. Please stay with us. I want to hear way more about this. So this is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am with Gayle Michaels. We will be right back, I promise. But you can learn more about Gayle at www.gaylemichaels.com.

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Dr. Taylor: We're back and we're getting an intimate picture of the intimate dance. So far, we have just gotten the overview, which is that the woman is spiraling around the mans lingum or penis.

Gayle: That's correct.

Dr. Taylor: Now, I just want to say, you do have an illustrated book. Because you just went through how many positions?

Gayle: Yes. Well, it feels like the woman goes through close to 40 positions because of each little nuance when her leg is rotating like a clock in front of the man. But the man holds one position through that. So for the man, he is just mostly there to support her and guide her and be fully present with her as she turns over. And so for him there is only about 12 positions. And for the woman, it can be anywhere from 35-45 depending on how many times she pauses and adjusts and they make love in each....I don't know whether to call it a position or a pause. In each interlude. And it's a very slow process. It's something that takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half if you make love in each interlude for a few minutes to complete the entire dance.

So it's not a wham bam, thank you ma'am quickie type of love making style. It is the answer to one of the most frequent complaints that I've had from my clients, which is that sex doesn't last long enough. If you tend to each sexual nuance and each sexual position, this will extend love making and can extend it in to hours because you could just keep going around and around and around.

Dr. Taylor: Well great. I'm guess that people would have to be pretty physically fit. Is that true in order to do this?

Gayle: Well, some of my clients are not extremely athletic or anything like that and say that they have no problems doing it. The main thing that would interfere with the process of you doing it would be if your upper thighs hurt; if you are not flexible in your upper thighs you might need to do some exercises to gain some flexibility there. And if you are unable to do Elvis pelvis type hip rotations then I always recommend that people turn on the radio, stand in front of the mirror, and dance alone until they have got that down. And it's a knack. Anybody can pick it up unless they've had major back surgery and pins in the lower back or something like that.

And there is nothing wrong with in and out. There is lots of in and out in the intimate dance. But there are a couple of places where that rotational motion on the pubic bone really is an important part of intensifying the passion. So there are other ways to intensify it. If you do have pins in your lower back you can always use fingers down there. But it's nice if you can do the rotational motion with the back.

Dr. Taylor: Wow. Well this is very exciting. I've never heard anyone discuss really anything quite like this. Where did you get this information from?

Gayle: I stumbled upon it. In 1977 I was a person who was looking for the big O in the sky. I thought that the reason I had never had an orgasm during sexual intercourse with a man was either something was wrong with my body or I had given myself a middle finger fetish by masturbating before I ever had sex or God was a practical joker for making men easier to get off than women and we didn't have time. Or maybe it was because I hadn't found just the right match yet; the man who had the penis that was exactly the right size and our bodies would fit just right together.

So in the process of going to a psychiatrist and trying to figure out if I was broken or what, I was also searching for the big O in the sky; the magic man with the magic wand. And low and behold, in 1977, along came a lover who made love with me in a different style than anybody ever had before. And it made me know there was nothing wrong with me. I didn't have a middle finger fetish and I knew I could have just as much pleasure during sex as the man I was making love to without a doubt. It changed my life. I completely changed a lot of things about my lifestyle. And I would say in some ways I am a totally different person because I learned this. So anyway, does that answer your question?

Dr. Taylor: Yeah. Absolutely. I kind of wonder where he learned it. But it may be that the two of you just kind of stumbled upon something.

Gayle: Well I think I am going to put that information in an autobiography soon. So maybe I''ll share it. It is some very intimate information and I have been contemplating, meditating, and praying about whether or not it should become public knowledge.

Dr. Taylor: Whether what should become public knowledge?

Gayle: Where he learned it; how it all came about.

Dr. Taylor: Oh OK. So at this point it's a secret.

Gayle: It's a secret that may be revealed in the future.

Dr. Taylor: All right. Well, I do want to say you have a fabulous blog. I mean, I do this all the time. I see people's website and I have to say, I love your blog. You have videos on there and incredibly insightful commentary on a number of subjects. So I want to encourage our listeners to definitely check out your website just for no other reason to sign up for your blog. It is one of the best I've seen. I signed up for it myself.

Gayle: Thank you Patty! I love it. Writing is one of the most important things I do and I just love doing it. And I love it when people write to me and ask me questions and inspire me to create articles for the blog. So I welcome any feedback that people might want to give me.

Dr. Taylor: Right. Well, that's at gaylemichaels.com. Actually, we are going to take a break right now and come back and find out more about the intimate dance. So this is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am with Gayle Michaels. And her website is gaylemichaels.com. So please stay with us. We will be right back.

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Dr. Taylor: We're back. And this is Dr. Patti Taylor and I am with Gayle Michaels. And we are talking about the intimate dance. So how do you stay connected for a guy? Is there an issue about the man staying hard for a lot of men?

Gayle: If a man is afraid of emotional intimacy and a heart connection, then he tends to require a lot of fantasy, a lot of visual stimulation, and a lot of friction to stay hard. When the connection is made heart to heart and there is a genuine emotional affection, unless there is some sort of physical organic health problem that has to be corrected, the erections are firm and long lasting and reliable, and there is a tremendous amount of endurance.

There are men that I have taught this to who are in their 50's who are able to stay connected having sexual intercourse for over an hour, when the 20 years before they met me, they had never had sex for longer than 15 or 20 minutes. It actually inspires the erection. The deeper intimacy; for those who are ready for it.

And usually men over 40 are getting bored with recreational sex and just the sheer physicality and fantasy of it. And they are wanting a deep friendship. If a man is ready for a deep friendship and he meets someone that he is comfortable having a deep friendship with and makes true love, a true Tantric connection, then concern for an erection becomes diminished. The erectile power is very reliable.

Dr. Taylor: Ok. Good. So would you say that this is something still that you would have to practice for a while in order to reach that state?

Gayle: Practicing and getting to know someone are more important to the woman, I find, than the man. Because the women are less likely to trust a man with their body physically. So yes, a man has to be willing to make an emotional investment. As far as practicing to learn the actual movements, if one person knows how to do it and talks the other one through it, you can do it without even knowing you are doing it because you are just having fun. And then if you start paying attention, "Oh, how did we do that? What did we just do?", you can pick it up in three or four times of having sex just by the sheer repetition of it.

If two people don't know how to do it and they are trying to learn it together and there is a coach sitting there talking them through it, it is about as difficult as learning how to ride a bicycle. It takes about as much practice as starting for one belt test in martial arts, and they recommend you go to class two to four times a week for two months and then you take your belt test.

So it's a little harder when neither person knows.

Dr. Taylor: So what does it feel like to you when you go into these Nirvana states? Can you just describe...I mean, I'm guessing it's different every time. Can you describe one such experience?

Gayle: There is an incredible joy that is almost ecstatic and a gratitude arises that makes you want to cry almost. There is a vibration and an intensity that descends. It is very important not to attach that state to the person that you are making love to because it really is a state of grace that descends upon two people who have practiced a specific technique that by natural law institutes the state; brings the state upon.

And so the ultimate goal then is to learn how to dwell in the state perpetually and not become dependent upon a specific person or thing to induce it.

Dr. Taylor: So how soon into the experience does one reach this potentially? Is it like towards the end and it's just building and building or do you kind of get there right away, would you say?

Gayle: It depends on how much trust the two people have in each other and whether or not they have done the preliminary work of aligning their intentions. And it's not just the movement. There's eye contact and synchronized breathing and focus and concentration. It takes the ability to be fully 100% present with no distraction from one another in order to go through each other to the state that is thought.

Dr. Taylor: Ok, wow. Well that sounds really hard. Well I want to go back into some of the techniques of the non-physical techniques and a little more in the physical techniques. And I think we are going to have to do that in our second show because our first show is coming to an end.

So I would like to as you one final question, which is, what is one of the most rewarding things for you about teaching this work?

Gayle: The gratitude I feel from the people that have experienced it. The testimonials I get. The phone calls I get. It feels like its bringing in a new paradigm of sexual understanding. I don't want to give it to much importance because there are so many people who are doing so many important things. And this is not the only way and it's not the only thing that needs to be done. But I think it is one aspect. It is a ray. It is one way to have a more satisfying and fulfiilling experience of sexuality in general for those who choose to be in a relationship in this manner.

Dr. Taylor: Wow. Well that sounds very inspiring. So we are going to close this show. Thank you very much for that. It's been really fun getting to talk about the intimate dance. I've watched it in person with you and someone else and it is a dance. It's an astonishing dance. And so I hope everyone comes back to find out more about this in part two of our show.

We have been talking with Gayle Michaels. So thank you so much Gayle.

Gayle: You are welcome.

Dr. Taylor: And please come back for part two. And in the meantime you can send me email at [email protected] For texts and transcripts of this show and other shows on the Personal Life Media network, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com. And if you haven't already, please be sure to subscribe to my show, "The Expanded Love Making Show", which is at my website www.expandedlovemaking.com.

OK. So this is your host Dr. Patti Taylor. That's all for now. I remain yours in ever expanding love making. And I'll see you next week.

Narrator: Find more great shows like this on personallifemedia.com.