Episode 50: Balancing and Transcending Roles to Fuel an Orgasmic Life Part 2 with Mariana Bozesan

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In Part Two, we talk again with Mariana Bozesan, social and serial entrepreneur, parent, and inspirational speaker, about the Tantric dance. Discover how this is so deeply connected to achieving the highest levels of relationship. Learn what you can do as a couple to overcome stuck places, and also, practices that will get you relating fully. Find out what the most passionate people on the planet have about them that makes them so charismatic and desirable. Can you achieve the highest levels of relationship or is this a state meant only for highly evolved world figures? Learn what Mariana shares with her own students about the world of living a successful life that will feed your passion forever and fuel it to ever-increasing depth and richness. 

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Love Making Show. This is a two part show so welcome to part two. I am your host Dr. Patti Taylor of Expanded love making dot com and I teach you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you've ever dreamed possible. Today on the show we are continuing to talk about balancing and transcending roles to fuel an orgasmic life. So we will talk about relationships, sex, and the ultimate way of life inside the tantric dance.

When we look at night at the night's sky we see all these stars and galaxies and the universe and we basically believe that's all there is. It's all matter. The fact is that what we see, the scientists, the physicists, the cosmologists tell us is less than 0.001%. What we are going to achieve with this show, I believe. Is to encourage people to let go of resistance in a sexual relationship in an orgasmic den.

You know we are being trained to drive a car and have a diploma and do a job, but we are not trained to raise a child, <laughs> how to have a good marriage, and of course we do not talk about how to have sex.

If you can in a semi lotus position or just, you know, in front of the other so you can face each other and begin to breathe together. Hold hands and breathe together. Don't do anything, be dressed at that point. Dress I mean, you know, in underwear and begin to breathe. Are you the kind of person you would want to be in a passionate relationship with?

Back again to inspire us and tell us the intimate connections between these is our guest Mariana Bozesan. So I'd like to welcome you back Mariana.

Mariana Bozesan: Thank you for having me back. I appreciate that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You're welcome. So let's keep going. We had been talking about the different levels of relationship and I guess we got up to level 3 which was a very involved relationship. But, uh you started to talk about the tantric dance and also I'm wondering, you also mentioned a level 4. Are these connected?

Mariana Bozesan: Yes, absolutely they are connected and in what way they are connected. Remember we discussed the fact that it is important to look both ways. The interior and the exterior. Just to explain to you what I mean is: When we look at night at the night's sky we see all these stars and galaxies and the universe and we basically believe that's all there is. It's all matter. The fact is that what we see, the scientists, the physicists, the cosmologists??? tell us that less is less than 0.001% is matter. And if you dig deeper that is not even matter. <laughs> You know the atoms and subatomic particles. They are all information, right, and energy. But, yet, we perceive everything around us. We focus all the time to the exterior that we perceive as solid and we spend 99.9% of our time on that. Where as in reality that's only, again 0.001% of reality. So unless we learn to look with in to the interior aspect to that what we don't see but that is there and an orgasm is a sign of it. We won't achieve what we actually really like in life. So in moving from level 3, level 3 already is that opening provides that opening, "Yes I would be willing to die for you. That's how much I love you." It's an opening. "I trust you a 100% and I would be willing to die for you." So that's the first beginning of the journey within because you see in the other yourself. It's just an extension of yourself. But it's still limited to the other person, or maybe to your community or family maybe. Your child. Now level 4 takes that understanding, that decision to look with in and grow to yet another level. And we see examples of that, and I mentioned Neo who fought his Mr. Smith, his negative shadow side until he realized that in stopping the resistance to life he basically could transcend the duality. The superman and the negative, the evil because he just surrendered. And all of a sudden he moved, he saved Zion. To come back to the metaphoric, The Matrix #3 and then everything moved to higher levels of, uh a level of conscientiousness and the same thing happens with us once we decide to go within individually. By practicing, by taking care of ourselves, practicing meditation, contemplation, prayer and also together in the, the cosmic dance. The tantric dance. And if we look at examples of people who achieved that 4 level of relationship. They expand it so much they transcend, they transcend the sexual relationship to include the entire world and these are, for instance The Dalai Lama. Uh, awakened people like Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa who are there in the service of all humanity. So they have reached um world centric, a spirit centric even understanding of reality. So it's compassion.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Ok great so let's say that um, you are at level 3. Uh, what would happen to your uh, and you're going for level 4, right? I mean can most people who try really achieve this? I mean we don't need to become a "Gandhi" to really enter that connection with the world, do we?

Mariana Bozesan: Of course not. No, and the, um, what we are trying to achieve with this show, I believe, is to encourage people to let go of resistance in a sexual relationship. In an orgasmic dance.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Because I am guessing that periodically a lot of people maybe poke into level four. Into that connection with the entire world. Especially during you know, sex, but maybe during other times too. Maybe you know, since we've dropped our rolls it's just whenever you can feel that connection and fulfillment with the world. Wouldn't that be correct?

Mariana Bozesan: Absolutely. I mean, remember watching a rose or a sunset. That's it! See? One thing I've learned and I've been a meditator for many decades again. Is you don't have to do big things. You know we believe that in my case you know I've done so many things, started so many companies, and all this stuff. I wanted to do big things and yet I have my cleaning lady, a wonderful human being. You know, every time we connect and look into her eyes and we connect and hug each other. That's what it takes. Look into a child's eyes. That's what it takes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That's so beautiful and I want to come back to that. Let's take a break first to support our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I'm with Mariana Bozesan and we will be right back. You can learn more about Mariana at w w w dot sage era dot com and uh it's a great web site. You're an author of a diet book so you started with really valuing the body. I just wanted to point that out and now you are going into the consciousness. Um, anyway I'll spell that S A G E E R A dot com.

 

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Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back and we're talking about the tantric dance. So what is a couple going to do then when they realize that they're stuck.

Mariana Bozesan: Well first of all, I personally believe there are two ways. One is in our world in the western world we used to use our minds to gain a greater understanding very often and so there, one thing is to get to learn. You know, we have not been trained to have a sex life. I don't know about you Patti but in my family people did not talk about how to have an orgasm. Nor have we been trained in school how to do this. We are just some kind of, you know we are being trained to drive a car, and have a diploma, and do a job. But we are not trained how to raise a child, <laugh> how to have a good marriage, and of course we do not talk about sex. So we need to learn to open up and get a book, go to a seminar. In my case we began reading all that we could put our hands on. Mostly John Gray is an amazing teacher. I highly recommend people go to his seminars and grab his book and uh, and learn. Because it's so ridiculous. Once you learn to begin to understand that we are equal and yet totally different. Men and women and we are the feminine and the masculine and so you begin to laugh about the differences and stop expecting the other person to be like you. Because the moment the person turns like you there is no sex. <laugh>

Dr. Patti Taylor: So when you are stuck you need to go to outside input basically. You need to connect with the world to seed that back into your relationship and not just stay there stuck.

Mariana Bozesan: Begin understand the other side and begin to question, "What is this person whom I love and who loves me trying to tell me?" and not you know, do you want, the question, do you want to be right or do you want to be in love?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, well that's a powerful question. Um cause you know I think a lot of people uh.. What would you do let's say now on a very individual intimate setting? You're with your partner and you've signed up for a course but that's a month away and you are feeling stuck in this moment with your partner. Um are there some practices or exercises things that you can do to start building the intimacy? Uh, while you're waiting to get, you know your books to come in the mail or your courses to start?

Mariana Bozesan: Yea. Well one is, before I go into the details of this. I would like to talk about the course that Margot Anand. She put three of her cd's together. An amazing course. That you know, just take it, get it, get into the bedroom and do what she says there. Because she is the expert, I'm not. I can only tell you what I've learned and what works for us.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yea and I want to say that we do have Margot Anand is in one of our pod casts. It's one of our very first. So I encourage um, all our listeners, since you brought up Margot. She talks about that DVD uh, very beautifully. So she is on one of our very early pod casts. I think it's either the first, second, or third pod cast. So you can listen to Margot Anand. So anyway, let's continue.

Mariana Bozesan: Yes. What I've found what was a problem in our, intimate relationship was that we did not breathe properly. And if you think about yourself as you listen to this, do you actually breathe deeply <laugh> or shallowly? In our society, very shallowly and of course the breath is the key to life. We would not be alive without air. And yet we don't do it individually in a proper way to feed our selves with oxygen and feel better. We don't walk outside regularly, we don't exercise to nurse ourselves. Cancer, for instance, cancer cells come about because people don't breathe. Their body is not oxygenated properly. Now going back to the sex practice. What we begin doing is begin, just sit in front of the other. If you can in a semi lotus position or just, you know, in front of the other so that you can face each other and begin to breathe together. Hold hands and breathe together. Don't do anything. Be dressed at that point. Dressed I mean, you know, in underwear and begin to breathe. So that you learn to breath synchronistically. Then once you've done that you need to learn to breathe asynchronistically, but that probably takes people too quickly into this practice. Why am I saying this? Because breathing synchronously already helps people create rapport. You are together to experience something very extraordinary and not just to have a little, a little orgasm that is maybe not even together but asynchronous. So in order to get to that level you need to work at it and this is the first thing that we began doing. Breath synchronously.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Ok and if maybe you're just getting started that's where you start. I mean you don't even have a goal of having an orgasm. You just have a goal of having that rapport together.

Mariana Bozesan: There you go. Yes. Rapport is important. And then the second step is to begin to breathe asynchronously. So when he breathes out, breathes out you breathe in and so on. Why? Because that's how it actually works. You need to take in what he gives as a woman and then when you breath out he takes it in and so on. That's when the dance begins.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So that sounds really hot. Now how long can this breathing go on for?

Mariana Bozesan: Well you can do it. It depends, you know, on the couple and how long it takes individually to get to that point. But I would do it for 5 to 10 minutes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Uh-huh.

Mariana Bozesan: And the beauty about is you get oxygenated. Your body, you know, you begin to breathe and you begin to feel already the energy move up. The energy centers in the body. Until you move up to the chakra, the heart chakra. Where the hearts connect with one another. But that's probably very detailed and it takes us into a different levels of uh, and orgasmic life that probably even goes beyond the scope of this interview.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well anyway, I just want to mention asynchronously means. Could you describe what that might look like? Like he breathes out into me

Mariana Bozesan: And you breathe in.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And then I breathe in. So just for our listeners to get a real picture of that and you breathe out and he breathes in. And you know, so you go back and forth, one then the other. First you are breathing together, now you're alternating breathing.

Mariana Bozesan: Exactly. And that's basically, you don't need to do anything else and then you know you can begin the you know, whatever the dances to help each other move into the next level. And for the guys listening, it is so extremely important that every time you want. You die to go south and please stay north. <laughs> It's so important to not, to give the woman the opportunity to connect at a very deep level. That's something that is very hard for men to do and to understand. But once you know that you actually you would actually die for your lover, for your woman, for your feminine energy you are yearning to connect with. Then you will be willing to see and develop this century acuity when the, your partner is ready to receive you. And then as you do that with breathing and caressing your partner and go north. Although you would love to go south as the masculine. Then you will want her to have you and you still don't give it to her. And so that's how the passion is being built up and up and up and up to the point where it must happen. It must connect. You, you know the stars will go off and you will connect at an extraordinary level. And of course before you go into the bedroom make sure that you address other things that may bother you. You know in the external fight. That's something that I forgot to mention that is so important. That we ensure that we have an inner life and an external life and that passion builds upon differences. In polarity differences and relationship and true trust is built on commonalities. So that's very important.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And we did cover that in part one of the show but it's uh very good to keep reminding us. Anyway we're going to take a short break. I'm with Mariana Bozesan and you can learn more about Mariana at www dot sage era dot com. S A G E E R A dot com. So please stay with us.

 

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Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back and we're talking about balancing and transcending roles to fuel an orgasmic life. So, um, where do we go from here? Um you know, I think a lot of people, you know, how do they use the outer life and, uh, bring that fulfillment into their bedroom? You said before people needed to have something worth living for and that passion will come into the bedroom as well.

Mariana Bozesan: Yes, I personally, one of the most important questions that I address that I ask my participants, my seminar participants and the people that I give speeches to is "Are you the kind of person you would want to be in a passionate relationship with?".

Dr. Patti Taylor: What a great question.

Mariana Bozesan: And. Yea and that gets most people thinking. So would you want to be your own lover? I mean as a couple not in the masturbation position. Are you the kind of person you want to be in a passionate relationship with? Intimately and also a lasting relationship where you have things in common. And that, that will probably get most people thinking and in developing things that they would have to change within themselves to create that partner. Make it materialize in their lives.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. Well that's really beautiful. Well you've been around a lot of the greatest people in the world. I mean you know some of the major leaders of our time. What would you say are the qualities of the people that you think are most turned on and most passionate? Could you generalize about that at all?

Mariana Bozesan: You mean who has, in my view, the most passionate relationship?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yea, you've met some of the world leading psychologists, inspirational teachers, um. Can you generalize just about, you know you've met a huge number of people you're very successful in business. The most passionate people that you know, what do they have in common?

Mariana Bozesan: Well, most of all, they know what they want and they go after it. And in a very compassionate way and so they are all leaders like Deepak Chopra who is quiet and amazingly charismatic and yet he is just mesmerizing. He is so amazing. He just, and I just loved Deepak. I traveled twice to India with him on meditation seminars. It is just amazing. So he is a very passionate person, but displays it in a very quietly way. In a very quiet way and a most amazing person. Then there is Tony Robbins who has passion written all over him and he has as far as I could tell, I would love Sage Robbins. I named my company after her, Sage. His, uh, wife. And I believe they have one of the most passionate relationships, intimate relationships in the world. Now in terms of business, what I've noticed that people who are passionate about their lives and have reached level 4 for themselves. In terms of focusing to how they can help the world. The have an integrally balanced life I should say. That's, that's part of my leadership program of course to help people look at all aspects of um, of human life. You have to, you can not neglect any of that and be happy. One is the physical body. You have to take care of your body so that you feel good about yourself. That's why I began my entire career in this field as a psychologist now. With the physical body and that's why I developed the program. The six month program and wrote two books and, uh worked with Byron Katie and Deepak Chopra and Tony and Robbins and all these amazing people that people can benefit from my web site. In order to help people feel good about their physical body. Then the other aspect is of course relationships. And not only is sexual life is one aspect of an intimate relationship, but that's important. You have to focus on that too otherwise is falls on the wayside and you're not happy. Then finances, you have to focus on that to. I know it sounds very hard and complicated. But if you don't do it regularly. I mean weekly, to focus on your career. Finances, relationship, contribution beyond yourself. Make the world a better place through you then you're not happy. So they're few aspects that you have to take care of, on a regular basis. That's integral.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So we've come full circle in terms of how to just have equality and differences and show up for ourselves, our partner, and for the world. So I think this has been an amazing discussion. I really, really want to thank you for coming on our show. I'm inspired, as always, just being around you. So you certainly live what you talk about.

Mariana Bozesan: Thank you for having me, it's been a pleasure, Patti. And good luck to everyone else and I'm here to serve anytime.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You are, you are an amazing person. So this does. So thank you once again for coming onto our show. This does bring us to the end. Please send me email at Patti at personal life media dot com. And for transcripts of this show, please visit our web site at Personal Life Media dot com. This is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor and that's all for now. I remain yours in ever expanding love making and I'll see you next week.