Episode 47: Becoming a Masterful Orgasmic Provider with Richard Anton Diaz

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Hear Dr. Patti chat with Richard "Anton" Diaz, the founder of Sexy Spirits and Club Tantra, based in New York City. He is the creator of Taontric Massage, a teacher in Expanded Orgasm Technique, a Taoist Instructor and student under Master Mantak Chia, and currently developing a 4 level training program entitled, Becoming Orgasmic Providers for Women.

Anton has developed a very successful program for men to become orgasmic providers for women. He teaches the psychological skills as well as physical and mental touches that send women into bliss once they’ve agreed to have a sensual or sexual date. Learn a little about the history of the “do” date. Find out how to meet women by posting an ad offering them pure orgasmic and/or sensual pleasure, and why women would want to come to meet you through an ad. Learn the value of “no strings attached”. Find out why the course is in four parts … and why all four parts are essential!  And, get a great example of what has happened in the course by applying Anton’s principles.

Transcript

[This program is intended for mature audiences only.]

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show!  I'm your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com, and I teach you how to give, and receive, way more pleasure than you ever dreamed possible.  This is a two-part show, so welcome to part 1!

Anton Diaz:  An orgasmic provider is simply a person who is decided to in... assign himself the role as a giver, and to put full attention on a receiver, in my case mostly, uh, and all the time, a woman.  Thinks, fundamentally, uh, it's not about the [zipless] gratification, it, it does come to intimacy, and touch, and affection, and love, and all of that can be sexual, or all of it can be non-sexual.  It can be sometimes verbal, or just a look in the eyes.  Even though you're engaging in intercourse for pleasure-fulfilling activity, and you don't have it, either of you, in your mind to make babies, your body doesn't know that.  Your mind circuitry doesn't know that.  All it knows is that it's getting revved up to have a baby!  It's important that I take care of myself first, because nobody would be very happy at all me touching them if I had any kind of belief that they were unattractive to me.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Today on the show we're talking about becoming a masterful orgasmic provider.  I'm so curious myself, because I know so many men and women want to learn how to do this.  Is this something hard to do, or might it be easier than you think?  Well, here's one teacher who's willing to give us some pretty amazing secrets to get you started, so I'd like to welcome our guest to our show Anton.  Hi, Anton.

Anton Diaz:  Hi, Patti, thank you for having me!

Dr. Patti Taylor:  You're so welcome.  Let me tell you a little bit about Anton.  Richard Anton Diaz is the founder of Sexy Spirits at Club Tantra, based in New York City.  As a world champion dancer, he became a student and teacher of the powerful dance between the sexes.  He is the creator of Tantric Massage, a teacher in the Expanded orgasmic technique, a [dowes] instructor, and a student under master [Mantac Chia], and currently developing a 4-level training program entitled, “Becoming Orgasmic Providers for Women.”  I think our listeners will love this show because Anton will show us all how he's developed a very successful program for all men, and maybe women too, who wish to become orgasmic providers for women.  Along the way, we'll learn psychological, physical, mental skills that will send women into bliss, once they've signed up for Anton's program.  Let's get started.
Um, Anton, can you describe for us what is an orgasmic provider?

Anton Diaz:  Well sure, uh, an orgasmic provider is simply a person who is decided to in... assign himself the role as a giver, and to put full attention on a receiver, in my case mostly, uh, and all the time, a woman, and for her to be in an open, relaxing and receiving enough state to not only receive stimulative touch that I can provide for her, but also to participate in her experience by providing me with an ongoing communication and feedback where necessary in order to make her experience even more fuller for herself.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well you know that sounds really good, uh, where do you meet this kind of woman, I mean I, I guess there's this stereotype out there that women need to feel the romantic connection before they'll have sex with a guy, and isn't it kinda hard for women just to sort of open up to have an orgasm, you know, uh, and fully surrender?  Is that part of what you're working with?

Anton Diaz:  Well, you know, before a woman needs to feel that she can have that emotional connection, before she engages in something, I think we, as men and women, all desire intimacy, affection, touch, and love, whether it comes from a kitty cat, whether it comes from a relative, uh, whether it comes from a lover, or a spouse, or a boyfriend, or a girlfriend.  So, you know, what we're really all asking for is um, uh, affection, intimacy, and love.  And sometimes the idea of a relationship, uh, being used to get that is just, for many people, a huge ticket to pay, and it's a huge ticket because people get involved in relationships to get those needs satisfied, and they give up and compromise many others.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So, in a sense, uh, what you are teaching people to do is, in a sense, offer [zipless] gratification, you know, there used to be the term '[zipless] fuck', I think, a long time ago, but it was, you know, no strings attached pleasure and gratification.  Somehow, I think, there's a stereotype that men want this more than women, but do you find that's not the case?

Anton Diaz:  No, because, first of all, I think fundamentally, it's not about the [zipless] gratification, it does come to intimacy, and touch, and affection, and love, and all of that can be sexual, or all of it can be non-sexual, it can be sometimes verbal, or just a look in the eyes.  So we, as providers, need to know all the many ways that that can be delivered.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well what are some of the ways, then, that that can be delivered?

Anton Diaz:  Well, uh, I'll give you an example:  Today I was taking a train to see my mother in Stanford, and I jumped on this train very quickly, saw that it was very crowded, and started walking through the aisles finding a seat and I noticed that there was this woman in back of me also looking and I came across a seat that only one person could fit.  And knowing that she was in back of me, I turned around and said “There!  There's a seat for you” and she was shocked, but I could see she smiled, and when I gave her that seat and continued my search, boy did I feel good.  I felt like a hero.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  You were a provider of her pleasure in that moment.

Anton Diaz:  Absolutely, and that's the practice.  The practice is really becoming actually very selfish, not selfless, but very selfish for my own pleasure because I knew how I felt when I provided that for her and I could see the smile on her face and the joy that I brought to her that somebody cared enough about her to think of her first beyond them.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So you're learning how to feel her feelings?

Anton Diaz:  Yes, uh, and I'm also learning how to be the kind of man that I would like to be.  Now that's not to say that every man would like to be the role that I designate that's good for me, but I certainly really get off on being the ol' Clark Gable or uh Don Barrymore swashbuckler hero that just makes a woman feel just right, just for the sheer pleasure of it.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Okay, so it works well on a train, I'm just kinda playing Devil's Advocate...

Anton Diaz:  Oh that's good!

Dr. Patti Taylor:  ...I know the program is wildly successful, I just want to tell everybody here that your program is running off like, uh, wildfire or some...

Anton Diaz: It is!

Dr. Patti Taylor:  It is, and I'm gonna be the Devil's Advocate for just, just... 'cause I know our listeners are going to be thinking this, and once we get this out of the way we're going to go into the details, but, so I'm just going to play Devil's Advocate for one more minute, um, it's easy enough on the train, obviously there's no strings attached, but don't people kinda bond when they've had, you know, a deeply pleasurable experience and kinda get hooked on each other and want more, I mean isn't that the popular thinking out there, that the guys are out to sew their seed with a million women, and women need to invest in one man, you know, for their eggs and this is biological, I mean, that's the argument I'm always hearing anyway, I would like to hear what you ta... you know, er...

Anton Diaz: Oh, and that is an absolutely valid argument and that certainly does happen especially when you engage in intercourse as a pleasure-fulfilling activity.  And that's only because, even though you're engaging in intercourse for a pleasure-fulfilling activity, and you don't have it, either of you, in your mind to make babies, your body doesn't know that.  Your mind circuitry doesn't know that.  All it knows is that it's getting revved up to have a baby.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Uh huh...

Anton Diaz:  So when you're engaged in sexual intercourse and sexual union in the procreative manner, of course you're going to bring in all, not only all the wiring for child reproduction, but you're also going to bring in all the wiring for your mother and father, from your entire ancestry of relationship, of family, who had a successful one, who had a miserable one.  All that plugs right into that penis when it plugs into the vagina of a lover.  So all of that takes place.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  And I love that, and so, are you doing something, I mean are, is something going on in what you're teaching so that people can separate out just having orgasmic pleasure that is sort of going around this baby-making programming?

Anton Diaz:  Absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wanna tell us about that, then?

Anton Diaz:  Sure, so what we do is we bypass that circuitry and that wiring by engaging in a totally different container, if you will, where, first of all, there's two primary aspects that make it different.  Number 1:  There's no intercourse whatsoever.  It is all done purely through touch. Purely through a person knowing with their fingers and with their hands, and actually with their whole body how to deliver a touch to the other person in a giving, activating way, and the other container of that is, that we separate into a purely giver, and a purely receiver mode, so that these are actually different aspects of what would happen as if we were lovers going back and forth giving and receiving simultaneously.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well this sounds very exciting we're going to stop and take a quick break but I want to find out about the program and a little bit more about who's touching what, so please stay with us.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor, we are talking to Anton Diaz, you can find out more about Anton at sexyspritis.com, so do stay with us.

[commercial break]

Dr. Patti Taylor:  We're back and I'm Dr. Patti Taylor and we're learning all about how to become a masterful orgasmic provider, and we were finding out about the program that you teach in New York, do you want to tell us what this wildly successful, state-of-the-art program is?

Anton Diaz:  Sure, Patti, first of all, I have to say that I am not the originator, innovator, or inventor of this, this actually, to my research, started way back in the 60's with the sexual revolution that started in America, and that there was a group mostly in the west coast, actually several groups but the group that I began to get affected by with this work was way back called the More University, and they created, from what I understand, this type of exploration into finding the limits of a woman's pleasure, purely through touch, and they created this 'do date' concept where you do a woman up to four or five, maybe six hours, they found that there wasn't any time.  So I always like to give credit to the sources so that people can do research on their own and hopefully find different things.  There were also Tantric circles creating sacred spot massage, and just many things at the time that began to blossom into this.  Um, where I took it a little bit different is that where that was done in an era of 'free love' and a lot of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll time which was certain a part of that time, that was my time.  The part that was kind of left out was the truly intimate and emotional intelligence that needed to go along with that, so that these experiences could fulfill themselves into learning how to have a relationship, how to be with the love of your life if they happen to come into your life, how to develop ongoing relationships with many people and being able to discriminate those people that would best be a mate for you and best not, so um, that's kinda where the work that I do now is a little different.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So what happens in your course?  You start out with an ad, is that correct?

Anton Diaz:  Well, uh, this is an interesting thing, one boring night, uh, I took out an ad in Craig's List and created this beautiful ad and uh, about looking for receivers who would love to experience my touch at the time I was pretty well-trained so I knew what I wanted to do, and I thought, boy, wouldn't it be nice to find some women that I could experience.. have experiences... who didn't even know me 'cause I had several goddesses that I was already touching and already knew me, but I wanted to find someone who had no idea to see if I was effective, uh, at this, without people knowing, and to my surprise, I had wonderful women, who, to this day, come and we have wonderful 'do dates'.  Uh, and I learned so much about somebody for the first time and from A to Z what it meant to meet a perfect stranger and to create a lifelong intimate friend.  So it did start with an ad.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  And how did you get them to feel safe with you, just right out of an ad?

Anton Diaz:  Well, uh, the first thing I did was, when they did agree to meet with me, the first thing I said was, “We're going to have a cup of tea, and we'll just talk first, and you'll get to feel me, and I'll get to feel you, and the worst that could happen is that we could finish our tea and you're free to leave if you find that we're not a good match for each other energetic-wise, and we've had a wonderful tea and lovely conversation.  Are you okay with that?”

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Yeah, I mean this almost sounds like a fantasy for a lot of guys, I mean, you know, that women would be just responding, or a fantasy for women, but this really happened to you, I mean...

Anton Diaz:  I couldn't believe it, hehe!

Dr. Patti Taylor:  And what would they... they were just hungry for touch, er, they were, you know, it was, tell us more.

Anton Diaz:  Well that brings us to another point.  I've found that every woman had different reasons, and what I found that I had to be skilled in somehow being able to find out what those reasons were, because if I was entering into a 'do date' with them with my own idea of what those reasons might be, I would find at times that I would fail miserably, that something would go wrong, and when I found that out, after the session, when things would go wrong and I happened to talk with them, I realized that I should've known many things about them before we proceeded, so now I began I process called 'Power Dialogues', and it's a socratic method of dialoguing, with them in the beginning as we have our tea, to find out exactly what their beliefs are, that are, in a sense, creating their motivations, and feelings to be here with me.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Okay, so, um... That's very interesting.  Could you tell us a little bit about the power dialogues, so that maybe our listeners might be... is that something you could teach us a few tech... tips, uh, right now, how to do?  I know we have two parts of this show and we're going to role play a little bit of that, once we get into the bedroom in the next, uh, in part two of this, uh... but just right out of the box, you know, maybe tell us a little bit about that.

Anton Diaz:  Sure, power dialogues actually is a word that Barry Kauffman, who trained me on this at the Option Institute, but they actually come from socratic dialogues.  Socrates started this method of dialogues, and Socrates was a philosopher, among many other things, who basically always entered into conversation with the assumption that he knew absolutely nothing.  So, if, when he started to dialogue with his students and disciples, or whoever was present, he always dialogued them with the pure assumption in his mind that he had no idea what they believed in, and he just was interested in their beliefs.  And what this allows us to do is really see the pure belief systems that unlderly all of our feelings, and all of our behaviors, and all of our actions.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So what kind... just... can you give us a range of, what are some of the motivations that women had for calling you up, or responding to your ad?

Anton Diaz:  Oh... well, uh...  one motivation might have been, “Oh I just need to be healed.  I had this abusive sexual relatio.... um.... experience in my life and I thought that this maybe could heal me.”  That would be one experience.  Another belief might be, “Oh, you know, I just love pleasure!  I just can't get enough of it, and I just want more!” and another belief might be “You know, I get myself off pretty well and my boyfriend does pretty good doing it, but you know, I have a feeling there's something more out there, so I'm trying every avenue I can to see if maybe there's another pathway that I could expand my pleasure.”

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow, those are some pretty cool answers.  Were you ever worried that, you know, you'd meet someone that you weren't attracted to?  I mean, you know, like body image or personality or something?

Anton Diaz:  Absolutely. And you know, uh, Patti, I have to say that in the beginning when that began to happen, actually quite... quite often, I always... 'cause it's important that I take care of myself first, because nobody would be very happy at all me touching them if I had any kind of belief that they were unattractive to me.  So I always, always meet a new person with the idea that we're going to have tea, we're going to see if we're both a good energetic match for each other, and that we both have the option to, you know, unless we both decided to go, “Let's make it, you know, uh, a promise to ourselves that we're not going to go forward.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Okay, great, so... once you uh... make this promise... uh so you have tea with the understanding that it may or may not go past having tea.  And uh, okay so we're going to stop there and take another quick break, and then we're going to continue on.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor, we're talking to Anton Diaz.  You can find out more about Anton at www.sexyspirits.com, so please stay with us.

[commercial break]

Dr. Patti Taylor:  We're back and we're talking about becoming a masterful orgasmic provider, this is the course that Anton is teaching in New York as his wonderful.. uh.. he has a center that teaches all kinds of great courses and um... becoming a masterful orgasmic provider apparently is his new 4-part course, so um..  Why don't you tell us now, we've found out that it's working really well for you, have you... you sound... this is something that you can teach other people, so how do you teach it and what do you teach?

Anton Diaz:  Well, you know, it's, I'll tell you it's... let's briefly talk about each level.  The first level, uh... first of all let's regard the first level in terms of touch.  When we talk about the first level, I would say, it's all about the attitude and intention.  And, the attitude and intention that we hold is all based on our beliefs.  So, the first part of our level is always about, “Why are you here taking this class?” and we have several women there also, you know, 'why are you here?' and we even get more specific, we put the very ad that I wrote, and I ask each man to imagine that they had written that ad, and that a woman has answered their ad, and the woman has asked them, “Can you tell me more about what you're willing to offer me through this ad?” And I've told the women in the class that “You've answered this ad, and the man has asked you, 'Can you tell me what you would like to receive, or what this ad made you, what... what resonated you to this ad that you have expectations or desires for?”

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So what's a piece of coaching that you could give our listeners if a woman, you know, res... if a man put an ad out and a woman said, you know, “Why should I respond to your ad?”  What kind of an attitude would be a successful attitude?

Anton Diaz:  Well, when a woman, uh... you mean if a woman were to ask me...

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Yeah, well just what's a good attitude to have when you put out an ad like that, looking for the pleasurable.

Anton Diaz:  Well, when you put an ad out like that, and it's very interesting, Patti, 'cause when men come, they're so excited, they can't wait to learn how to get all the physical techniques, and it's so funny that when I ask this question, when I actually put in their imagination a woman right in front of them saying “I'm ready, but can you tell me what you're going to do?” all the men get tongue-tied.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Aha!

Anton Diaz:  And I tried... and it's a very big education for men to realize:  “Oh my God, I wouldn't even know how to communicate about this or even think about it, yet in my, you know, in my thoughts I already had it down” but they don't.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  So what would you say?  Just a little snippet of what you, if a woman said to you, “Okay Anton, what are we going to do on our date?”  What would you start to tell her?

Anton Diaz:  Well I would say that I've been practicing for the past 10 years now, a form of sensual touch where I provide as a man to a woman as a receiver, and that it's an opportunity for you as a woman to totally surrender into your pleasure.  There is no reciprocation that you need to ever think of giving back to me because I will be getting back so much energy from providing this for you.  It's an opportunity for you to fully surrender, which you probably have never had in your life, even in masturbation, you haven't been able to fully surrender because you've been both the giver and the receiver.  Well I have created a way of being with someone where we separate into me providing you with pleasure, and you purely receiving it, and us staying in constant communication to see if we can make that even greater than it already is.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow, so you have a really good, clear, idea.  So what's the second level about?

Anton Diaz:  The second level about is the very first time that we touch a woman's genitals.  And we learn how to touch a woman's genitals for the first time, in a nourishing, grounding way.  So we.. in that first level we work purely with massaging, uh.. after we've massaged a body to a..  we massage the outer and inner lips, but we do it in such a way that the woman is always grounded, and even though she might be stimulated the amount of grounding and relaxation is always overriding the stimulation so that she has a pleasant stimulation that never needs to go further than just a pleasant feeling, and for many women this is a tremendous healing, because they've probably never had their genitals touch in such a way that was nourishing, and non-sexual, and non-agenda, if you will, from a male, and men are probably never touched women at their genitals at this level either.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Probably, ha ha.  You brought up... that's another, another day, right, where they can trade and take turns.  So what's, and what's the next level?

Anton Diaz:  The next level is we begin now to work with the stimulation touch.  I would never teach stimulating a woman unless you could first ground her, and make her feel safe and relaxed at any moment in time. So whereas our first level was all about the attitude and the intention, and our second level was about touching her genitals in a way that nourished and kept her grounded and safe, the third level, for the first time, enters into stimulation and arousal.  But now, the man has a background of being able to always keep her grounded, safe, and relaxed.  So he can begin to expand her pleasure but always making her feel safe and grounded and relaxed a the same time because of the previous levels.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Are these like 1-day courses, 1-week courses, 1-year long courses?

Anton Diaz:  Haha, these right now, are 3-hour evening courses.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Aha, okay, but which you could take many many times over, 'cause I'm imagining you wouldn't give the same information necessarily twice, and but just take... I'm guessing it would take a while for this to really sink in.

Anton Diaz:  Yes, the idea of the courses right now are to introduce each level on a more introductory level, because really the amount of work that myself, even you have done on this, takes years.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Well I know but to become a master at anything, you know, people... we live in a world where we all want to be a master by... you know, we all want to be a master, right?  Like going to a movie and imagining that we're you know, Yoda, or you know, Luke Skywalker or whatever, but being a real master is, you know, walking the walk for 20 years.

Anton Diaz:  Absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  It sounds like, you know, taking your course would open your eyes quite a bit, there's a level four, isn't there?  We haven't... did we cover that?

Anton Diaz:  We didn't cover the level four, uh...

Dr. Patti Taylor:  What's that?

Anton Diaz:  Well the level four works then with the internal, with the inside of the vagina, working with all the perennial sponge, with the urethral sponge, as well as areas of the walls and the areas around the cervix.  Because it takes a lot to be able to co-ordinate with one hand stimulating the inside of a vagina while the outside is also being stimulated, so we try to give gradients on how you would approach a woman's beautiful vagina in such a way that you have mastered one little piece at a time.  So the fourth level goes more... even more in depth using two hands, and then we're actually creating a final level, called the Intensive, where we spend the whole day, just doing different women, over and over... all.. six hours.... all day long with different volunteers coming in, over and over and getting really good at putting it all together in a full day.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  You know that really sounds like a great way to go, um well we're going to continue this discussion in part two, so I'm just going to ask you a final question, um... can you give us a really juicy frame of something really hot and amazing from one of your courses lately?

Anton Diaz:  Well, ha ha... I had a beautiful model just three days ago who saw one of my demonstrations previous two weeks and asked if she could be my model the next time, and all of these models I pretty much demonstrate the massage and demonstrate the touches both with one hand on the inside and one hand on the outside, and uh... what happened with this particular girl is I began... and I don't know... this has never happened to me before, but I just felt from her energy that she needed a type of touch that I'd never ever done before, that I'd seen.  And without just asking, well of course I was asking her, but I was reading her energy so well, that I began to give her a vigorous stroke that I rarely ever demonstrate and it's actually quite a strong one, that is exactly what she wanted, and she began to ejaculate beautifully for the next hour or so.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Oh my gosh!

Anton Diaz:  And it was so beautiful that all the people that came to the demonstration could see this beautiful orgasmic experience especially when I was talking about this being a water touch.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Ha ha ha....

Anton Diaz:  Ha ha.. and they really got to see the true meaning of a water touch.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Wow, was the woman surprised?

Anton Diaz:  Not at all.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  No?

Anton Diaz:  No, actually, this was only the second time I'd met this woman.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Uh huh...

Anton Diaz:  But we had had, you know, slight communication, but because...

Dr. Patti Taylor:  But I mean, she knew she'd like the vigorous touch or did that come as a surprise too, I mean it was just like, was it just the way that you and she interacted, or she knew that she liked that kind of a touch?

Anton Diaz:  She knew that she liked that touch, but I didn't.

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Right, so you were just tuned in, so you were modeling what you were teaching.  Okay well we're going to close this show so we can, um... leave people all excited for part two of the show, um, and once again we've been talking with Anton Diaz, and you can find out more about his program and other programs, he has a lot of wonderful programs at sexyspirits.com, and so thanks so much for coming on this show, you've inspired, I think you've inspired me, um.. just to know that there is this kind of education going on in the world because I mean we all got a driver's license at 18 and a lot of us took driver's ed, but you know cars haven't changed that much, the human body changes all the time, you know, when you're 30, when you're 40, when you're 50, we need to keep learning and I love that you're out there giving this kind of education.

Anton Diaz:  Well thank you, Patti, and I think the audience should know that you have been my greatest teacher and inspiration for this work, so...

Dr. Patti Taylor:  Ha ha, oh well thank you so much, so uh.. on that beautiful note, that brings us to the end of our show, um...  thank you for listening, please send me an email at [email protected] for texts and transcripts of this show, and for other shows, please visit out website at personallifemedia.com, and by the way we are doing a listener survey, uh... to see who's listening to the show, so please stop by the episode page, or the home page and take our survey so it'll help us get the sponsorship we want, and please also visit my homepage, expandedlovemaking.com, where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, services, and events as well.  So this is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, that's all for now, and I remain yours in ever expanding lovemaking and I'll see you next week.