Episode 42: Transforming Sexual Energy into Spiritual Power with Victor Gold - Part Two

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Hear Dr. Patti and Victor Gold, author of “The Potency Principles”. Discuss the principles of Potency for Men that all men will want to lean in order to become better lovers and gain access to a more connected body, heart, spirit, and mind. Learn how we are all generating sexual energy and how we can spread that energy to our hearts. Find out what positions in lovemaking generate the greatest relaxation. Learn why men have different challenges than women, and how to overcome these. Learn how opening the heart energy helps men have “heart-gasms”— and what even women can do to open their hearts as well. Find out what using the breath properly will do to your orgasmic energy. Why did Victor write this book? Is there such a thing as sex magic? How is it used properly? Would more sexual energy transformation change the world? See if this program in your life starts you feeling, thinking, and manifesting in totally new ways!

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor:  This is part two of our show, Transforming Sexual Energy into Spiritual Power.

Victor Gold:  The guidelines that the Potency Principles talk about deal with generating, containing, and transforming orgasmic energy in order to experience, ultimately, oneness. 

That’s the doorway that I call the “tantric wave of bliss.”  If you can learn to take yourself just south of the point of no return, just below the orgasmic release point, and hover there, and savor that, and expand that, then you can experience the tantric wave of bliss, which goes on and on and on, whereby you can have your multiple orgasms.

We’re actually striving to go way beyond the physical:  we want to include the energetic and the spiritual in our lovemaking.  As long as you’re sexually aroused, you’re generating energy; so tantric people want to stay aroused, they want to be in the world as highly aroused as possible.  And that’s why they’re constantly learning how to contain energy and build the energy.

What I like to teach couples is “soft style” lovemaking, whereby they learn to get close to the point of no return, but then relax – let go and go into stillness, and just feel what’s happening energetically in their bodies.

Patti:  Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking Show.  I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of www.ExpandedLovemaking.com, and I teach you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever thought possible.  Today on the show, we’re talking about transforming sexual energy into spiritual power, part two.

So, we’ve already talked to Victor Gold, part one, and we’ve been talking all about the importance of withholding male ejaculation and giving women lots of pleasure, so if you haven’t heard part one of the show, I do recommend that you start with part one first.
           
Today we’re going to jump right in and talk about The Potency Principles, that’s Victor Gold’s new book, available at www.amazon.com, and find out what some of these amazing principles are.  I’ll just tell you a little about Victor:  just to remind you, he is a holistic health educator specializing in erotic spirituality, with a private practice in tantric instruction and sexual healing in San Rafael, California.  He does offer private instruction over the phone and in person, and he does teach workshops nationally.

I think we’ll love this show, because we’re going to talk about how we can use this sexual energy to transform ourselves—our sexual energy—into spiritual energy; and we’ll find out what the Potency Principles are, in general.

So, let’s talk about the Potency Principles.  Victor, first of all, hi, it’s nice to have you here again.

Victor:  Thank you Patti, it’s nice to be here.

Patti:  What are the Potency Principles?

Victor:  The Potency Principles are ten guidelines that deal with the energetics of sex.  Now, most people who enter into the sexual realm don’t really deal with the energy around sex, but more with the physical parts of sexuality.  So, the guidelines The Potency Principles talks about deal with generating, containing, and transforming orgasmic energy in order to experience, ultimately, oneness.

Patti:  So, that’s generating, --

Victor:  Generating, containing, and transforming orgasmic energy.

Patti:  Let’s talk about generating.  So, it’s not necessary to – do you want to read the ones that are about “generating,” how about that?

Victor:  The first principle says:  “It’s not necessary to ejaculate to complete the sexual exchange.”  Now, most men have been programmed to think that this is the high point of sex—coming.  Well, I’m here to tell you that that is not necessarily true, and I encourage men to learn to withhold their ejaculation and forgo genital release in order to experience a bigger, more powerful expression of sexuality—one in which their whole brain and consciousness can be expanded.

Patti:  Right.  And since we devoted so much of our last show, I’m going to move right on to the second one:  “Male ejaculation is not the most ecstatic moment;” and I think that’s a very interesting point.

Victor:  Yes.  Just below the orgasmic release point, between peak arousal and the orgasmic release point, there is a special doorway which is virtually imperceptible to the neophyte.  But to a tantric lover, that’s the doorway that I call the “tantric wave of bliss.”  If you can learn to take yourself just south of the point of no return, just below the orgasmic release point, and hover there, and savor that, and expand that, then you can experience the tantric wave of bliss which goes on and on and on, whereby you can have your multiple orgasms.  They’re full body orgasms.  And, where coming feels intensely pleasurable for a few seconds, full body orgasms are extraordinarily blissful and joyous, and they can last for literally over an hour or more. 

Patti:  You know, I’ve noticed that as a woman myself, which is the point leading up to an orgasm can sometimes be way more interesting.  I mean, going over the edge is nice, but there’s almost a letdown.  You’re so much closer to the letdown when you’re actually there; don’t you just want to stretch that point out, just stretch it out like taffy, and have it go on and on…  And actually, that’s what we do as women; what I’ve trained my men to do is just make it go on for really long.  You can do that as a guy, too?

Victor:  Absolutely.  Most of the tantric techniques are aimed at men, because men have the problem of losing vital energy when they ejaculate.  Women generally do not lose energy through sex, so women are much more naturally tantric.  They experience their orgasms in different areas of the brain; they go into mystical states of mind.  Men have to learn these techniques, in order to overcome the gender imbalance. 

Patti:  So, this is teaching you to come like a woman!  Wow, that’s a very lucky day.  I can understand why you’d have that principle in the book.  Of course, women need to learn how to come better too, because we’ve been pretty repressed, which is why we’re getting to that point, one of those principles.  Actually, your fourth principle is that “Women are sexually stronger than men.”  What does that mean?

Victor:  Well, I was referring to the fact that women generally do not lose energy through sex.  As long as they’re open and receptive, that is not a problem as it is for men.  What I’m encouraging men to do is learn to not come, so they don’t lose vital energy—but rather generate and contain the energy in order to build more energy, so they can have more of a spiritual experience, whereby they experience themselves as an expanded being.  Women don’t need to know these techniques—they’re already there. 

Patti:  I think it would be very fun for some of our listeners to have that experience that, even if they think, “this is far out,” just for an evening, to maybe not be orgasm-focused, but pleasure focused—and see, perhaps, what the difference was energetically. 

Victor:  Yes.  My lover for example, she can choose to orgasm as many times as she wants, or she can choose just to hover just below the orgasmic release point, and savor and expand that experience.  That’s a whole other type of experience, and it’s extraordinarily wonderful.  It includes a heightened state of arousal:  all the senses are heightened, your consciousness is expanded, and you get to experience more of the oneness which sages and saints have talked about for centuries and centuries as a way to learn about the divinity within.

Patti:  Is your lover doing anything that we all, as listeners, could pick up from her?  Or do you think it’s more that every woman and men develop their own repertoire? 

Victor:  Well, the lady I’m living with obviously is very tantrically inclined, so we’re interested in generating and circulating energy.  We want to target our brain where our consciousness is transformed.  Other people make love for other reasons.  We’re actually striving to go way beyond the physical.  We want to include the energetic and the spiritual in our lovemaking.  So, there’s different intentions involved, and one’s not better than the other, it’s just there are different ways to go about it.

Patti:  Okay, got it.  That makes total sense to me.  So, let’s go for the next one:  “The frequency of male ejaculation should be regulated.”  Now we’re up to principle number five.  How would we apply this principle?  I know this is all in your book, but we’re getting the shorthand.  You can read about it later.

Victor:  If men ejaculate too often, they generally lose their erectile capacity, and they experience themselves as smaller energetically.  Now there’s something called, what I would call, the “post-ejaculation syndrome,” and I was a victim of this for many years before I learned to stop ejaculating with every encounter.  The post-ejaculatory syndrome means that a man has ejaculated—and remember, men only experience pleasure until they ejaculate, and then it’s over, they enter a refractory phase whereby the penis doesn’t like to be touched, and very often they feel emotionally withdrawn.  In my case, I would get irritable, grumpy, remote, and my woman would say, ‘what’s wrong?  A couple minutes ago we were very connected, we were making love, and all of a sudden, you seem so withdrawn.’  For many years I didn’t realize what was happening.  What was happening is I would lose vital energy because of my multiple ejaculations, and I would be left feeling empty and devoid of love.  I would be feeling small, and I would get irritated, and grumpy, and remote.  And I didn’t really know why, I didn’t connect the dots at that time like I have now.  But if men want to avoid this post-ejaculation depression, this letdown, then they have to learn to withhold their ejaculation.  And in so doing, they maintain their attentiveness to their lover, they maintain their energy, and they actually become more sexually engorged than before.

Patti:  Well, it’s nice to hear you’re assuring us that this is a really easy thing to do.  So, we’re going to take a quick break we’re talking to Victor Gold, and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor, and we will be right back.  You can learn more about Victor at www.SexualHealingNow.com.  His book is The Potency Principles. 

[commercial break]

Dr. Patti Taylor:  We’re back.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and I’m talking with Victor Gold.  We’re talking about The Potency Principles.  We were talking about the need to withhold ejaculation, and now we’re going to talk about generating energy.  So, what would be a good principle for that?

Victor Gold:  Well, I would say that as long as you’re sexually aroused, you’re generating energy.  So, tantric people want to stay aroused, they want to be in the world as highly aroused as possible.  And that’s why they’re constantly learning how to contain energy and build the energy.  When we’re in a state of arousal, our senses are heightened, and we actually are in a higher state of consciousness, which is ultimately what we want. 

Patti:  So, what would be a good principle for that?

Victor:  Well, I would say dynamic lovemaking involves the heart and the genitals.  Many men are really shut down in the heart, their hearts are guarded.  Each time we wanted love and love wasn’t there for us, we experienced an emotional reaction to that, and over time our hearts become armored.  And a lot of men, while their genitals might be very lustful and aroused, their hearts are shut down.  So again, learning to withhold ejaculation for a man, allows the sexual energy to rise up into the heart and begin to heal the heart, so that they can have a heartfelt presence when they make love.

Patti:  What does that feel like?

Victor:  Well, it feels very gentle and loving, it feels very forgiving.  Men whose hearts are open might experience some sadness, they might even cry, they may laugh; it gets them more in touch with their feeling mind rather than their thinking mind.

Patti:  If you were having a “heart-gasm,” as they say, would you be feeling it in your genitals as well as your heart?

Victor:  Absolutely.  It’s inclusive of the genitals, but it’s not necessarily focused on the genitals.  It’s more of a full body experience, where you feel very loving in this moment.

Patti:  Well, I bet the women must love that.  That finally their guys are being emotionally connected to them. 

Victor:  Absolutely.  In fact, many women are connected in their heart and genitals, they have that apparatus awakened already.  So, men need to learn from women; they need to learn to let the energy rise in their bodies so that their hearts can open, and they can get in touch with more of their feminine qualities, which essentially are those loving qualities, those nurturing qualities.

Patti:  You know, I have that sometimes too, though, where I need to open up my heart more.  I’m not sure why that is.  I just think because of my past, you know, I go into my fear, I’m not relaxed, I’m in my head.  Maybe I’m just a performance junkie, or whatever—I just always want more, and I see there are places where, as a woman, I can go deeper into my heart.  So, what do you say for the women?  Would you say that when the man goes more into his heart, that helps the woman access her heart more deeply too?  Because I don’t think this is an issue that is unique to men.

Victor:  Yes, I think that as we display more loving qualities to our partners, they in turn reflect that back to us.  So, the more love you put out, the more you get back.  And women too can learn to, rather than go for the genital release, they can learn to hover just below the orgasmic release point, and see what that’s like.  Generally that brings more energy into the heart space and turns on their heart, and they become more in touch with their feelings.  It’s a wonderful experience to share.

Patti:  So, the hovering is just not going for the ejaculation, but learning how to relax.  Could you tell us more, how do we relax?  I know how I relax—I’m pretty good at that actually.  But, why don’t you tell us what you would tell a couple that you were coaching?

Victor:  Well, I’ve watched couples make love over and over again, and I notice that most of the lovemaking is what I call “hard” lovemaking.  That is, a lot of movement, a lot of friction sex, a lot of fatigue because it’s very athletic lovemaking.  What I like to teach couples is “soft style” lovemaking, whereby they learn to get close to the point of no return, but then relax—let go, and go into stillness, and just feel what’s happening energetically in their bodies.  There’s no need to have friction sex be the only type of sex.  There’s a more feminine style of sex which would be very advantageous for men to learn, so that they can delay their ejaculations and prolong their lovemaking; make the lovemaking more of a leisurely intercourse, which is very satisfying for both men and women.

Patti:  Okay, we’re going to take another break.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and we’re with Victor Gold, and we’ll be right back.  Learn more about Victor at www.SexualHealingNow.com.  So, please stay with us.

[commercial break]

Dr. Patti Taylor:  We’re back, and we’re talking about lovemaking, so I’m getting all excited.  I was just thinking, relaxing while lovemaking—I would think a lot of the positions people use for lovemaking are inherently causing a lot of tension.  Are there any positions that you would recommend for couples that would help them actually be more relaxed?  Because I’m thinking the missionary style where a man is up on his arms, and the woman’s knees are out, and she’s kind of thrusting, or even doggie style—there’s a lot of positions I can think of where it’s not very relaxed.  Do you have any relaxed positions? 

Victor Gold:  Well, I would say that—

Patti:  Or, can any position be relaxed?

Victor:  Many of the positions create unnecessary tension in the body, and we want to get away from that.  We want to find positions where we can actually not only relax very deeply, but also begin the process of letting go in the position.  So I would recommend lots of pillows:  pillows under the elbows, under the knees, under the arms; wherever it’s needed, so that you can actually relax more deeply and get into the “letting go” experience.  The “letting go” experience is what I would call surrendering to the energy.  You want to diffuse any areas of your body that have any tension.  You want to keep letting go, you want to keep scanning the body, and wherever you find tension, you want to relax and let go.

Patti:  So some specific positions, like maybe scissors position?

Victor:  Well, for a man, laying on his back with the female on top is a very leisurely position.  She becomes the person who initiates the sexual movements, and a man can just relax and let go.  In that position it’s unlikely that he would ejaculate prematurely.  The idea here is to experience prolonged, leisurely lovemaking, and that requires no extra tension in the body.  This takes practice.  It takes exploring different positions, using lots of pillows, and learning to breathe, and relax, and let go.

Patti:  So every couple has to just explore—I find maybe spooning, the man going in from behind when the couple is on their side, can be a very relaxed position.

Victor:  Spooning is wonderful.  Any position can be the right position if both people experience the ability to relax and let go.

Patti:  So it’s the relax and let go.  Let’s look at some more of your principles.  Here’s one that I really like:  “The way we breathe determines the duration and quality of our lovemaking.”

Victor:  Yes.  This is an important guideline.  Breathing is really important; in fact, tantra presupposes that you’ve already mastered breath control.  I know this is not the case for most of us who have not studied tantra.  For example, if you breathe deeply from the belly and the chest, you bring the parasympathetic nervous system into play, which creates calmness and well-being.  But most of us are breathing very much too shallow and too fast, and men, when they get turned on, and they go into higher states of arousal, tend to pant.  Panting and breathing shallow basically keeps the sympathetic nervous system in charge, and the sympathetic nervous system is the “flight or fight” reflex.  So, you’re sending the wrong signals, you’re sending signals of distress to the body if you’re not breathing in an expanded way.  Breathing deep and expanded breaths using the belly and the chest will prolong lovemaking for men, and prevent an early genital release.  So, depending upon how you breathe when you make love, you can either rev up the body, or calm down the nervous system, depending upon whether you need more sexual charge or you want to calm down the sexual charge so you don’t spill over into release.

Patti:  Can you tell us a little about “sex magic?”  How does that work? 

Victor:  Well, there are certain times during the sexual exchange where the subconscious mind is very open and available to programming.  Those times are very close to orgasm, during orgasm, or just after orgasm.  We can use those times to program our subconscious mind with whatever it is we would like to see happening for ourselves.  For example, if you wanted to increase your prosperity and live more in abundance, you could actually direct your thoughts to prosperity and abundance when you’re in the orgasmic state.  In so doing, your subconscious mind and your conscious mind are both available for programming in that moment, and you can actually program your subconscious to tap into the abundance all around us. 

Patti:  So what would you say, is it “Oh my God, I want a new car!”  Or, “I love myself!”  Can you give us some examples?

Victor:  Yes, you would actually use the intention, whatever it is you want to see in your life, you want to focus on it; you want to give it energy, you want to visualize it, if you can; you want to smell it, you want to know that it’s happening even as we speak; and you just want to ensure the proper intention—make sure that’s going to be available to you.  We do that by all the methods I’ve just talked about. 

Patti:  So nothing is too crass or too shallow or too lofty.  You could be, “I want to see the divine right now,” or—what are some great goals that you’ve done?

Victor:  Well, a lot of the women that I’ve worked with want to send their orgasms out into the world to create world peace, for example.  Or, feeding the impoverished people of the world.  Any lofty goal could actually be intended to go out into the world via the orgasmic exchange.  So, rather than just experiencing the orgasm from your pleasure, we can actually have lofty goals and send that energy out into the world where it can make a difference.

Patti:  I kind of like that.  I have heard of people asking for a new car, and personally speaking, it’s just my own feeling, I always feel like the more I send out into the world, the more comes back to me.  It’s sort of the love, or the power of ten, I don’t know what the law is—but I think it just feels better to me.

Victor:  Yeah, we’re here to change the world, aren’t we?  We want to make everything better, we want to have everyone experiencing the connectedness that we feel inside ourselves sometimes.

Patti:  That’s true.  Well, what do you think would happen if a lot of people started to do this kind of sex, sending out transformative energy into the world?  Do you think the world could really change?  Do you honestly believe—you wrote this book, you put a lot of time and energy into it—why?

Victor:  I feel that part of my mission is to help people awaken to the fact that the sexual urge, which has been grossly misunderstood up until now, and has been slandered by both the uninformed and the evil-minded, is actually a vehicle to transcend the physical realm and experience the divinity within.  In other words, the orgasmic energy—the energy from which we all sprang—is a vehicle to access the spiritual dimension through sex.

Patti:  So, this could change the world, because it would change all of us if we could actually harness the spiritual energy within ourselves.

Victor:  Absolutely.  It would also create harmonious relations between men and women. 

Patti:  And we could use the sex to heal ourselves in the process?

Victor:  Not only ourselves, but also everyone on this planet.  That’s part of my belief system, it’s been talked about from the ancient sages for centuries now, and I’ve experienced it in my own life.  This is the time to help people to awaken to this fact, that this powerful energy, the orgasmic energy, the energy of life, is here to help us all awaken on this planet; that we’re all connected, that we’re all part of “the One.”

Patti:  Well, I thank you very much.  We’re almost out of time, so I’m just going to ask you one final question.  Is there something that you’d like to say today that can leave people with something that can really inspire them to go out and try what you have to say—not be afraid, to really go home and give this a try, no matter where they are?

Victor:  Well, if you’re a man, I would urge you to attempt to experience a sexual exchange with your partner in a new way.  Rather than attempting to “get off” and ejaculate like you’ve done thousands and thousands of times before, take yourself just south of the point of no return, just below the orgasmic release point, and go into stillness—just breathe deeply, relax the body, and see where that takes you.  Once you experience that, then you get an idea how it can be.  It’s a much larger, full body orgasm, and it will change your perceptual reality and expand your experience.

Patti:  Wow!  And what do you have to say to the women?  Encourage their men to do this?

Victor:  I would say that the women need to—

Patti:  Buy The Potency Principles book for their men, but besides that?

Victor:  I would say that the women’s greatest opportunity in sex is to train their men to fully satisfy them.

Patti:  What does that mean?

Victor:  In other words, I would say that the women need to train the men to fully satisfy themselves, and in so doing, the men will experience the greatest result.  So, women come first, men need to be in service to women, they need to have as their first and foremost goal satisfying their women, and that’s what women need to teach men.  And men need to humble themselves in that regard; it may require a little ego death for a man to serve his woman, but if he does that, tantra says that he will experience harmony in the household.

Patti:  Wow, well, that couldn’t be more beautifully said.  And, who wouldn’t want to do that?  So that brings us to the end of our show, thank you so much for joining us today.

Victor:  Thank you, Patti, for inviting me here.

Patti:  You’re more than welcome.  So, you can find out more about Victor Gold at www.SexualHealingNow.com.  Once again, he is the author of The Potency Principles, available at major bookstores or online at www.amazon.com.  Please send me email at [email protected].  For text and transcripts of this show and other shows on the Personal Life Media Network, please visit our website at www.PersonalLifeMedia.com.  And if you haven’t already, please be sure to subscribe to the Expanded Lovemaking Show so you can get automatic updates as soon as they become available.  Also, please visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor, at www.ExpandedLovemaking.com, where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, services, and events. 
           
This is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, and that’s all for now.  I remain yours in ever expanding lovemaking, and I’ll see you next week.