Episode 37: Sex, Orgasm, Fun and Money: How to Have More of All of This in Your Life! with Dr. Dain Heer

Listen Now
RSS: Subscribe
RSS: iTunes

In this show, you'll meet Dr. Dain Heer, a chiropractor who travels the world teaching people how to have way more sex, fun, pleasure, money, and yes, even orgasms in their life!  Learn the key differences between sex, sexuality, sensualness, and copulation which will help you make the kinds of offers that potential partners will gladly say yes to.  Find out : are women are really more aggressive than they often let on, given the right opportunity? What would you say to make a good opening offer for sexual fun? What can we do to reclaim the full potential of our orgasmic nature? Dain gives us several suggestions for bedroom play designed to wake up our orgasmic senses. Just listening to Dain will wake up your senses! Learn how all of us have can be better receivers and how having more sex, fun, and copulation will lead to having more money in our lives!  Dain gives us several useful tools for clearing out the mind- stuff that gets in the way of our having everything we want in all these areas.  He also inspires us with true stories of people that have achieved phenomenal results in a matter of days after using these processes, that he teaches to thousands of people all over the world. Isn't it nice to know that we can all have more sex, orgasm, fun, and money, if that is what we truly desire, and it can be an easy, joyful choice?

Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: In this amazing show find out ways to make those playful offers your partner will be thrilled to accept. Find out ways to maximize your orgasmic abilities and discover how this all ties in to having way more fun and money in your life.

Dain Heer: Embodiment is actually you, the being, in connection with your body, but what we often don’t look at about embodiment is it includes the entire reality in which you live.

Dain Heer: They sort of jumbled it all under this term of sex. Like when you say, “Oh, I’m going to go have sex with this person”, or “Oh, wow, you know, their sexuality is really on.” Well what we’ve done is we’ve misidentified and misapplied  a huge number of these terms and their definitions, and what that does, it creates an amount of confusion.

Dain Heer: What I’d like to do is I’d actually like to copulate with this person, then you have more of a chance of creating it because you’re not saying you want to have sex with them, which is I want to have this interaction of this really cool energy, you’re saying, “I’d like to put our body parts together.”

Dain Heer: Like, have you ever seen somebody who strokes a cat and they seem like they’re making love to the cat? That’s sensual ness. Have you ever received a massage that felt so nurturing to your body and yet turned it on at the same time. That’s also sensual ness.

Dain Heer: I’d be talking to him and, “You see this girl over here? Would you like to copulate with her?”, he’s like, “Yes, absolutely. I would absolutely love to copulate with her, thank you very much. Please let me have sex with her, please, please, please, now.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking Show. I’m your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com and I teach you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever dreamed possible. Today on the show we are talking about sex, orgasm, fun and money, how to have more of all of this in your life. I want more of this, and it seems what we’ve been taught rarely gives us correct information on how to have all of this. So I’m thrilled to welcome today’s guest on to find out how we can have more of all of these wonderful things in our lives. Our guest today is Dr. Dain Heer, a lead facilitator of Access, a process designed to facilitate conscious. So welcome Dr. Dain Heer.

Dain Heer: Patti thank you so much for having me.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well it’s such a pleasure. I can call you Dain I hope?

Dain Heer: Please call me Dain.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, Dain. Dain is a network chiropractor by training, but for the last seven years he’s been teaching Access, an amazing tool for transforming consciousness. He travels the world teaching at their highest level and has brought this awareness with its accompanying profound shifts to tens of thousands worldwide. He’s the author of the book Embodiment: The Manual You Should Have Been Given When You Were Born. He’s also the co-author of the book Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word with Gary Douglas. I think our listeners will love finding out his unique perspective. I think they’ll also enjoy his exquisite sense of humor and will love to experience shifts in their own consciousness from listening to Dain. So today we will talk to Dain. Hopefully we’ll be enlightened by his unique and invaluable, and I will emphasize, totally priceless point of view. So lets get started with some definitions. So Dain, you wrote a book called Embodiment, so lets find out, what is embodiment?

Dain Heer: Oh, I love that you start with an easy question Patti, thanks so much. It’s sort of like “What is the Earth in four words or less?” Well embodiment is actually you, the being, in connection with your body, but what we often don’t look at about embodiment is it includes the entire reality in which you live. So embodiment isn’t just you the being in your body, it’s how you interact with the entire world around you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so why is this going to give me more sex, money, fun, pleasure and orgasms, and I bet there’s even a longer list than that?

Dain Heer: There’s a much longer list than that, and I’m glad you asked because when you asked the question “What is embodiment?”, there’s, you know, that doesn’t sound very meaty, very juicy, very exciting, you know, it’s like, “Okay, where’s the orgasm in that?” You know, but even the word ‘embodiment’ is so heavy for people, it almost sounds like the opposite, you know, it almost  sounds like dying instead of living, so, but that’s where most people function from within their bodies. The one thing that sex, fun, pleasure, money and orgasm all have in common is it’s all something you do with your body. So if you could actually learn what it would take to receive more of all of those things, see, the interesting thing about it is if you actually were to get clear of your isses around sex and have better sex, more orgasm, you’d also begin to receive more money.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, well who wouldn’t want that. I mean, so there’s a link between the sex and the money and the orgasms. Well we’re going to get there, but so just going into the definitions then, what is sex? I actually have to admit I flipped through your book and I think there happens to be a difference between sex and sexuality and something called ‘sexual ness’, so lets get some of our terms straight here.

Dain Heer: Great, thanks for asking because what we’ve done in this reality is we sort of jumbled it all under this term of sex. Like when you say, “Oh, I’m going to go have sex with this person”, or “Oh, wow, you know, their sensuality is really on.” Well what we’ve done is we’ve misidentified and misapplied a huge number of these terms and their definitions, and what that does it creates a huge amount of confusion. So let me give you a quick list, okay? List would be sex, sexuality, sensuality, copulation and orgasm and the last being sexual ness. Okay, so what is sex? Sex is when you’re looking good, feeling good, strutting your stuff. When you’re walking down the avenue, everybody’s looking at you, you know it, you know, and they’re looking at your body lusting after it and you’re body goes, “Uh huh, that’s right, don’t you want some of this. Can’t have it, but don’t you want some? I know you did.” Okay, that’s, that is actually what the definition of the word sex as an energy is. Okay, now lets go to the next, the most often misused word, which is sexuality, and I took a course in college called Human Sexuality, and what they taught me was how I can open up to judging every aspect of my sexual ness. What was, or what they were trying to do is to get me out of the judgments, they were trying to give me information that would get me out of judgment, except what I saw with people around me was they started going into even more judgment, and they started as result of this class I was looking around and I was talking to some of my friends and instead of having more sex they were actually having less ‘cause by definition sexuality is the judgment of what you refuse to receive.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So can you give me an example of your sexuality for just, you know…

Dain Heer: Yeah, well for example, gay, straight or bisexual are all sexualities.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so they’re like the labels?

Dain Heer: Yeah, exactly. And anytime you label something you define it, and in essence what you’re saying that the label is “I am this and I am not all these other things.” So for example, somebody who’s “straight”, quote/unquote, lets say you have a straight man. Is a straight man willing to receive sexual energy from gay women? Well no, not usually. Is a straight man willing to receive sexual energy from gay men? “Oh, absolutely not because I am straight and don’t even think of flirting with me because…” That’s what sexuality does is it says, “I’ll only receive sexual energy from this area.” So in the case of a straight man, “I’ll only receive energy from straight women. Guess what that does? If you can’t receive the energy of gay man, gay woman, you also can’t receive their money, you also can’t receive their admiration, and your body can’t receive the lust that they might have for your body. So you cut off a huge amount of what you could receive under this definition of sexuality.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, wow. So, yeah, because I guess the energy is just in the air, it’s like all around us, right? I mean, people are just sort of emitting this energy, right. Okay, so sensuality then, how about that one?

Dain Heer: Okay, lets talk about sensuality. I know I started with sexuality, it’s not very much fun when you actually  look at the definition of that word, but don’t worry, it’s going to get better once we get to these other things. So sensuality is your body being touched. It’s that wonderful touch where your body receives it and it gets turned on just from being touched. That’s what sensuality is, okay. The next one is copulation. Copulation is putting the body parts together, we all know what that is. That’s what previous to this conversation we would’ve called sex. “Ooh, I had sex with that person”. Well you can have sex with somebody, this interaction of energy, you can absolutely have sex without copulation. It goes on all the time. But what, when you get clear on, “Okay, what I’d like to do is I’d actually like to copulate with this person”, then you have more of a chance of creating it because you’re not saying, “I want to have sex with them”, which is, “I want to have this interaction of this really cool energy”, you’re saying, “I’d like to put our body parts together.” And when you’re clear on what you ask for, then you can receive it. Which is another part of today’s show which we’ll get to later.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, yes. So, so just quickly, what would sex be like? I mean, just give me an example of sex.

Dain Heer: Sex would be like, have you ever sat there and sort of smiled at someone and flirted with them and you could feel this energy and feel your body getting turned on and theirs getting turned on?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, a couple of million times in the last week.

Dain Heer: Yeah, exactly, couple of million times in the last week, exactly. That’s actually what sex is. So people say, “I want to have more sex”, well what’s funny is if you misidentify and misapply something, you’re actually buying a lie. So if you say, “I want to have more sex”, and you’re actually doing this like you said a couple million times this last week, what ends up happening is you’re not acknowledging the “sex”, quote/unquote, you are getting. What you really want is more copulation. When you start asking for that it’s a different energy in what can show up for you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, now describe to me maybe a wonderful sensual ness.

Dain Heer: Sensual ness. Have you ever seen somebody walking down the road for example that is very comfortable in their body, they don’t necessarily have on the really high heels or the really short skirt, they’re not doing the force of what is sexuality, but they’re really comfortable in their body and comfortable in the way it moves? That would be a sensual ness. They have a sensual nature in their lives. Like have you ever seen somebody who strokes a cat and they seem like they’re making love to the cat? That’s sensual ness. Have you ever received a massage that felt so nurturing to your body and yet turned it on at the same time? That’s also sensual ness.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Ooh, you know just listening to that, I think if people made more offers to one another for sensual ness, or maybe if they were just more clear in saying, “Hey baby, would you like to have either sex with me or sensual ness with me or copulation with me”, they might get more of what they were asking for because I think a lot of, I think at least a lot of women say no because all they think they’re getting an offer for is sexual ness or sex or something they don’t want, but they don’t realize maybe if they were getting an offer for that yummy, delicious sensual ness, maybe at least to start with, I mean, gosh, who wouldn’t want that, right?

Dain Heer: Absolutely, and that’s, you’re so right, if, the clearer you are in what you’re requesting and also in what you’re offering. Now there are a lot of men that have the point of view all they want to do is get off. You know, they want to have a woman to have sex with, they want to have a nice warm wet vagina to stick it in and get off. But there are a huge number of men that don’t have that point of view, and they have learned from the time they’ve been little boys that what they’re supposed to want to do is do the version of sex which is get it up, get it out, get it in, don’t mess up my hair do, you know, the version where there’s not sensual ness, there’s no joy, there’s no fun, it’s just about getting off. So many men are not like that. Imagine that a lot of men listening to show aren’t like that. They also enjoy the sensual ness also and the sensuality of things. So if you can actually be clear and say, “Sweetheart, would you like to get together and copulate?” or “Hi, would you like to experience an evening of sexual ness?” or one of my favorite things is “Would you like to get together and play?” That’s one of my favorite ways to make a request for sex, copulation sensual ness with a woman, is I say, “Hey, would you like to get together and get naked and play?” And it creates a totally different energy. Now in that, the other thing is if you don’t have an expectation, if you’re not thinking, “Okay, I’ve got to get laid” or “This hasn’t been any fun” or “I’ve got to do this or it won’t be any fun”, if you can say, “Hey, we just got together and followed the energy of what shows up. What if we got together and it felt great. We had great copulation. And if not, we didn’t.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well that’s really a good point because I don’t think a lot of people can really imagine a time where they got together with a partner and didn’t have an agenda, where it’s all pre-set. Do you think people even really know how to do that anymore? I mean…

Dain Heer: Unfortunately most people don’t, and it takes quite a bit of practice. And the interesting thing is, what I’ve noticed in the, I do sexual relationship workshops, and in the workshop in working with people one of the things that we suggest is that people actually get clear in this area and they don’t have a fixed point of view before they begin. Now we have processes for doing that in Access, I’m not going to go into those here because that’s a little on the technical side of things, okay. But what we do is ask people, “Okay, so what if, okay, you see this girl over here?” We’ll be talking to a man, “You see this girl over here? Would you like to copulate with her? He’s like, “Yes, absolutely. I would absolutely love to copulate with her, thank you very much, please, please, please, let me have sex with her, please, please, please, now.” “Okay, hold on boy. Hold on a moment, okay. What if you  went at it with no point of view and you were there and happy for whatever you got out of the situation.” Now most people don’t do that. Ninety nine percent of people don’t do that. And if you can actually allow yourself to go, “Okay, I’m going to seriously take a deep breath for a moment and I’m just going to be willing to be happy with whatever occurs here, whether it’s copulation or not.” You’d be amazed at how many times it leads to copulation.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You know, that’s a really secret for you guys because it really turns me on when I can feel the energy of a guy, is very interested in me and wants to play and, but I won’t call it hard to get, but it’s like he’s just really in the moment and really there to be present with me and is not attached to going all the way, I find that a real turn on.

Dain Heer: Yes, and most women do. And guys, I’ll tell you a great secret if you’d like to get laid ninety nine percent of the time. Here’s what you do: you either learn to cook really well or you find someplace that cooks great meals and you have it catered and brought in, okay, or go pick it up, and throughout the entire evening, you know, you have a nice bottle of wine or champagne, whatever you like, and have the nice dinner and throughout the entire evening do nothing but ask the woman questions about herself. When she asks you questions about you, you simply defer or give a one word answer and then continue to ask questions about her. Now you do this from a place of interest in her life, but at the end of the evening you ask here, “Okay, would you like to go home or would you like to spend the night?” Ninety nine percent of the time if they say, “Wow, you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met”, you know she wants to spend the night. Now does she know anything about you? No. Does she care? No because you’ve actually paid attention to her. And what we all want is somebody to pay attention to us, so what you were saying Patti about, yeah, that’s a turn on when a man is present with you and it doesn’t seem like he just wants to get in your pants. And I’ll tell you guys, for me, what I’ve learned is the more I’ve been able to go into a situation where copulation was a possibility and not have a point of view about it and not be “Oh, I’m going to be really if we don’t copulate here”, once I got over that, it was amazing the number of times where copulation opened up as a possibility.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I know what you’re saying and, you know, I think there’s a way where women like to aggress on a man, and it’s like, I love it when a man is pursuing me, but there needs to be some space for me, there needs to be a way for me to have some hunger build-up in me for me to chase the guy a little for my appetite to kind of reach a little heat in my own body and if I’m just, my senses are being overwhelmed by a man just sort of kind of crushing in on me, that heat isn’t going to build into a fire, and what you’re talking about is creating so much space that it’s like, whoa, I want to take my own heat up to the next level, and we’re in a dance of like kind of keeping that fire and building into the next level.

Dain Heer: Absolutely, and what that requires is that needlessness where you don’t need to have sex, where you can actually be there for whatever occurs and have it be a great thing. So you’re absolutely right. The energy that should be created with copulation, with sensuality, with sexual ness, which is the healing nurturing expansive orgasmic energy, should always be with both parties, it should be this inner play. And what ends up happening is somebody gets a point of view, now what’s interesting is, you know, the women in the world tend to be the aggressors sexually. They love it. Now I know that may sound a little bit sexist, it may sound a lot sexist, but women if you look at it, don’t you love to have that space available to you just like Patti said. And it’s a space that should be available to you, and the thing is when women are willing to be the aggressor sexually, it, there’s nothing that’s a greater turn on to most men, because most men are sitting there going, “Okay, can I have sex? Can I have sex? Can I have sex?”, and when you give him the go ahead and you’re like, “Come on baby, lets do this thing. Lets do it, lets have a great time doing it, and I so want you, I am so looking forward to this. Bring it on”, that’s the time when the man can also get really turned on. Unfortunately the way society’s been created at this point, there’s been so much, so much lack of clarity that’s been created, that there isn’t that freedom to do it. And if you’re willing to do that, and what it requires is the willingness to not care if somebody judges you, to not care what somebody judges about you sexually and know that, “You know what, I’m here to have a good time. I don’t care what their point of view is.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, well I think there’s, there’s so much scarcity too, you know, that you’re not going to get anything, but when, and women can smell that, but when a man is that confident that he can just play, I think that really turns a woman on and she can smell, “Wow, that guy is really confident.” And then that, it just, it’s a really, it’s attractive, a woman can really feel his confidence.

Dain Heer: Yes, you can feel his confidence, and that’s exactly what it is, it’s confidence and it’s total awareness of self. There are few things that are more of a turn on than total awareness of self.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So we are going to take a short break. We do want to get onto the orgasms and the money part, as well as the pleasure. So please stay with us. We want to support our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti and I am with Dr. Dain Heer. You can hear more about Dain and the Access process, which is taught all over the U.S. and Australia and New Zealand, Canada, Europe, Korea and other places worldwide at www.accessconsciousness.com.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and I am Dr. Patti Taylor, and we are talking to Dr. Dain Heer about sex, orgasm, fun and money, how to have more of all of this in your life. I just want to say that Dr. Dain Heer does teach with Gary Douglas of Access, and we did do a phenomenal show with Gary Douglas, it’s one of our very early shows, Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word, and it’s absolutely one of the shows that we just have lots of people constantly writing in and going, “Oh my god, it was such an amazing show”, so I encourage those of you that are enjoying this show to go check out also Gary Douglas’s show, it’s an amazing show. So before the break we were talking about embodiment, sex, sexuality, sexual ness. Dain, I, now I want to ask you a little bit about being orgasmic. How orgasmic are we?

Dain Heer: Well how orgasmic are way inherently or how orgasmic do we choose to be? ‘Cause unfortunately there are two totally different things. Have you ever seen a cat walking across the floor using every single one of its muscles. Every step for a cat is an orgasm. Every time a cat licks its fur it’s orgasmic. If you tune into that kind of energy here your entire life can be orgasmic. How orgasmic are we? Totally orgasmic. Most of us have decided not to allow most of that to show up. See ‘cause as little kids we’re so extremely sexual, everything’s orgasmic for us, which is why we run around going, “Okay, what else can I do?” And then you do that and you go, “What else can I do? Now what else? What else?” That’s part of being orgasmic in life. It’s just continuously creative energy. So what we do though is about the time we’re seven years old we get told, “Okay, no, stop touching that. Don’t play with that anymore. You’re not having any fun”, and the point of view is you can’t have any fun in your life. Well guess what, having fun, having money, having copulation and sex and orgasm are all part of being orgasmic in your life. Are we orgasmic? Hopefully we’re extremely orgasmic. You ever see a sunrise that makes you come?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh gosh, yes.

Dain Heer: Okay, that’s what I’m talking about. You know, and some of the listeners will be like, “Okay, what are you guys talking about?” Well, if you don’t know, check it out, go out in nature. I, for me when I go camping it’s like I will, if I’m not with someone, if I’m with someone camping usually is sex nonstop. We’ll have sex, we’ll go for a walk, we’ll come back, we’ll have sex, we’ll go for a swim, we’ll come back, we’ll have sex. If I’m alone it’s a nonstop masturbation experience because there’s so much sexual ness in nature. There’s so much orgasmic energy in the plants and the animals and the trees. That’s the way we ought to be. Orgasm shouldn’t be something that we get turned on to, it should be something we have the ability to be all the time.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So what would you tell our listeners, those of them who are going, “Oh that’s very nice for you. You’re a teacher and, you know, but unfortunately for me I’ve been traumatized and hurt and, you know, I’ve lost that ability, so, you know, is there any hope for me?”

Dain Heer: There’s absolutely hope for you. Okay so, a little bit about my past really quickly, I experienced some extensive sexual abuse and physical abuse when I was a kid, and there was a lot of shut off in the sexual energy if you will. Now over the past seven years, I’ve managed to change that, and so when you ask if there’s hope for you, absolutely. But one of the things it requires is that you make the demand that no matter what it takes you’re going to find that orgasmic energy again.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And what did you do? Can you give us some concrete things that we can do, you know, either out in life or even in the bedroom or both?

Dain Heer: Okay, so in the bedroom one of the great things to do is to take somebody you trust and tie them up and touch their body real slowly, real gently, starting at their feet while they’re lying face down and just tickle their body and touch it all the way ‘til you get to the top of the tips of the fingers and then flip them over. And what you’re doing in that is you’re having the awareness of the sensual ness of the body, the sensuality that the body has. And then you touch the entire front of the body without ever even touching the genitals. You might blow on them or lick them or kiss them real gently, but what that does is it actually starts the process of turning the body on. Well one thing for men specifically is they’ve been taught not to receive. Men believe our job is to give, okay. So ladies, if you really want to get your man turned on, if you really want to heal the issues that have occurred in your life around abuse and his, okay, this is one of the things you can do is actually tie him up and be very gentle and loving and caring to his body. The tying up means he can’t give back to you, he has to receive. Now that alone can create an amazing sexual experience. You know, I wish we had hours to go into all the possibilities, but that’s one that you can try right now, and it’s got to be of course with someone that you trust. But what that does is it teaches you to begin to learn to receive, and when you can receive sexually, you can also receive more fun in live and you can also receive more money.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I love that and we’re going to get to the money pretty soon. I just, that is such an amazing tip and of course that’s consentual, the tying up I’m assuming.

Dain Heer: Yes, absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, good. Just for our listeners. A few other tips, that was such an amazing tip. I just want to stay on this for a little bit longer.

Dain Heer: Okay, so one of the things that you can do as a man is while you are with your woman is you, or with your man, if you can tell that person you’re with how greatful you are for them every step of the way. Okay, and as you’re touching their body, as you look into their eyes, you look into their eyes, you put your hand on their heart and just ask him to look into your eyes and breathe with you. Now I know this sounds to some people sort of airy fairy and I get that, but the best sex you’ll ever have is when the person  is totally present in their body. And most people check out during sex. What you want to do is if you’re actually looking in their eyes and you say to them, “I am so grateful for you, I am so grateful to be here with you, I’m so grateful to be inside of you”, or whatever it happens to be, that word gratitude and that feeling of gratitude creates a place where all the barriers come down and the orgasm is actually greater than you would create from wham bam thank you ma’am the intensity that most people try to achieve with friction. If you do this of tying the person up and then putting your hand on them and telling them how grateful you are while you’re having copulation, the intensity of orgasm will go through the roof.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that sounds really, really hot, and there was something else I heard you say which is also something about slowing down. Can you say more about that?

Dain Heer: Yes, absolutely. The, our bodies actually respond more to slowness. They actually respond the slower you are and the more present you are with the person’s body, to the point where lets say, lets say women you’re going down on your man, if you can actually feel what it feels like on his penis in your mouth you can feel what his body’s feeling while you at the same time you can feel what your body’s feeling, you will get orgasmic and turned on just by giving him a blowjob for example. What that does is it forces you to be present. When you have to be present, you can’t have any barriers to the other person, you can’t be thinking about work, you can’t be wondering what you might have been left in the oven. You have to be totally there and totally connected with your body. And this way of having copulation is different, but for most people what it will do is literally, for me one of the things that I’ve found is the more caring and the more present, the more highly intensely orgasmic the experience is every time. When I can feel the woman check out, often times that’s when there’s no more sexual energy available for me. Okay, so If you find yourself getting turned off in the middle of sex, what you want to do is just touch your partner, ask him, “Okay honey, did you go somewhere?” If you know your still there, you touch them to get them present and ask them, “Okay sweetheart, where did you go? Come back to me lover. Come here, lets play.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: Ooh, that is so gorgeous. Wow, I love that.

Dain Heer: Yummy, that’s what I like to call it, yummy.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yummy, yummy. So now how does this receiving, tell us a little bit about receiving. I keep hearing that word.

Dain Heer: Yeah, I keep saying that word because it runs through all of this. See, your ability to have orgasm is actually a function of your ability to receive. Your ability to have fun in life, your ability to have money, they’re all based on what you’re willing to receive. Somebody who has very little money has very little willingness to receive. Somebody who has very little copulation and very little joy has very little willingness to receive. Like have you ever seen that person who wasn’t very attractive, they didn’t really have very much going on, but they seem to have every guy in town after them? I knew a lady once who was frumpy, who had the funniest looking hair in the world, she had the weirdest looking smile, I mean she would smile and it seemed like her whole face twisted up, and yet she was having sex with a different guy every two nights, and they were lusting after her all the time. Well that was somebody who was willing to receive. Contrast that with I have another friend who was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. I mean she was a model at one point, and she had very little willingness to receive and was constantly looking for a relationship, constantly looking for sex and copulation and never being able to find it.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I think you’re talking to a lot of our listeners out here that are thinking, “How come that person over there is hitting home run when I’m, you know, twice as rich and twice as beautiful or whatever, and you know, someone else is getting all the goodies, so do speak on. I’m sure you’re really hitting a chord here.

Dain Heer: Okay, so one of the things about that is when you, when you find that there’s an area in life in which you’re not willing to receive, one of the things you want to do is, “Okay, everything that doesn’t allow me to receive here, I now destroy and uncreate it.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And what does that mean?

Dain Heer: Well we have, you know, we have a way with doing it in Access and there’s a specific clearing statement that we use. And, you know, we could go into that right now, but let me just say if you destroy and uncreate it what you’re doing is you’re asking the energy to go back to wherever you decided that, wherever in this lifetime, any other lifetime, it doesn’t matter. Wherever this got created, and ask it to dissolve. Now this, you know, one of the truths in bible is “Ask and you shall receive”, okay, so if you ask that it go away, it will. There’s a way in which you say, “Okay, this is going to change now”, and you make the demand and you ask the universe, “Hey, what’s it going to take for that to show up?” When you do, so what you want to ask for, is when you do ask it you will receive it, and what you want to ask for is, “Okay, so everything that doesn’t allow me to receive all the copulation and desire, I now destroy and uncreate it, and universe, show me what it’s going to take.” Now what it takes may not be what you expected, in fact it hardly ever will be, okay, and this is something we do for days in the Access classes that we give, okay, so this is necessarily an abbreviated version. And the other thing that you can do is if you’ll destroy and uncreate your relationship either with the person you’re with or with your relationship itself with sex and copulation, your relationship with money and your relationship with yourself every single day. What you’re doing is just asking that every way whichever related to money, sex and copulation goes away so you can start anew. You start having other options and other choices available. There was a couple that came to Access and they did the relationship class and it was their 20th wedding anniversary and she went home to her husband ‘cause he wasn’t at the class and she, he asked her what she wanted for their anniversary and she said, “Honey, I want to destroy our relationship”, and he was like, “Really? You want a divorce? I can’t believe it”, and she said, “No, I want to destroy everything our relationship ever has been so we can start creating it anew. Their relationship took off from that point. You want to do the same thing with your relationship, your relationship with yourself, your relationship with money, your relationship with sex. ‘Cause what happened, what would happen if there were no past and you woke up tomorrow and wanted to have sex, what would you do? Well you’d have to learn all over again, you’d have to create it, right?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well you’d be on a first date every single day of your life, wouldn’t you?

Dain Heer: Exactly. It would be like 50 First Dates, and when you do that you’re always in creation and you’re always able to receive everything that’s there ‘cause you haven’t decided what’s not possible.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re going to take a short break to support our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and I’m with Dr. Dain Heer. You can learn more about Dain and the Access process, which is taught all over the U.S., also in Australia and Canada, New Zealand, lots of places worldwide. So check them out at www.accessconsciousness.com, and I’ll spell that; it’s a-c-c-e-s-s c-o-n-s-c-i-o-u-s-n-e-s-s dot com.

Dr. Patti Taylor: We’re back and I’m Dr. Patti Taylor and we are talking to Dr. Dain Heer about sex, orgasm, fun, money, copulation, sexual ness, how to have the best time of your life and how to have all of more of this in your life today. So I just want to say I’ve done some of the Access courses, and it’s really changed my life and I’ve had a great time doing it, so I just wanted to put in a good word for it. It’s a blast. And one of the things I love about what I have learned to do with Access is when you said destroy and uncreate it’s really a process of looking for the answers but it’s asking questions. And so I’m going to just kind of go with that because I want to find out how we can have more money and more orgasms and what’s the connection, so, because I want people to be really clear, if I wanted to have lets say, you know, like triple my income this year and triple my orgasms this year, how can I do that? Can we be concrete here?

Dain Heer: Oh, the concrete stuff, okay. First things first, first you always ask a question; “What’s it going to take for triple my income this year?” and “What’s it going to take for triple the orgasms to show up?” Okay, so for the income part for both the income and the orgasms actually, you want to make a demand on the universe. “Universe, here’s the deal. No matter what this is showing up, okay. Universe my income is tripling in the next year, that’s all there is to it. How are you going to make it happen? I don’t care. Whatever it takes.” That’s the first part because what you’re doing is your asking a question and then you’re making a demand on the universe, “Hey dude, help me out here.” The universe is a really big place, we should be able to be supported by it. It’s our own willingness to have that support that limits what can show up beyond what we’ve decided can show up. So the other thing is, everything I’ve decided about this, let it go, destroy and uncreate it. I know that sounds easy. There are specific, so if we do these questions and make that demand that starts the process.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Is this kind of like The Secret, you know, and the power of attraction and that kind of thing in terms of what we create, what we really want?

Dain Heer: Well in one sense, except the power of attraction doesn’t actually describe all of it, because what it doesn’t take into account is places where we bought other people’s points of view for example. See 98 percent of our thoughts, feeling and emotions actually aren’t ours. We picked them up from other people. The only way to get rid of those is by saying, “Go back to whoever you came from, thank you very much.” So the next thing you want to do with this is, “Okay, all the points of view about money that I bought from mom, that I bought from dad and all my friends, all the points of view that I couldn’t have orgasm that I bought from all my friends who didn’t really know how to have them and still don’t, I’m returning all that to center, I’m going to start anew on my own, thank you.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: So you’re just saying be completely outrageous, so, right?

Dain Heer: Absolutely. Can you imagine going to the line in a store, you know, you’re sitting there with your milk and your cookies and whatever and you start going, “Oh, oh, oh, oh my god, oh, oh.” You know, everybody’s turning around looking at you and you’re going, “Oh my god, oh, oh I just love this brand of cookies, you know.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah.

Dain Heer: What if your life were about that outrageousness?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah, or like, “Hey, you know, I just, I don’t know, really want to have a whole new life, right?

Dain Heer: Yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I mean, what’s it going to take, right, and just start asking all the questions.

Dain Heer: See and that’s the question. You know, you ask for concrete and it’s like I love to give concrete because I like you to have something you can take away. The difficulty in that is it’s different for everyone what they require. See what most people need to do is actually be willing to be more outrageous. And when I say that it means be willing to be whoever you want to be in that moment, not  caring who else is going to judge you. Because what most of us do is we limit ourselves based on the judgments we thing we’ll receive. “Oh my god, I couldn’t have sex with that many people, I’d be a slut.” “Oh my god, I couldn’t have that much money, my family would hate me or my family would want to take it all or they’d expect me to give it to them.” See we have all these reasons and justifications for the things we don’t allow ourselves to have, like the copulation and the orgasm and the money. So the other thing that you can do is you can make a list of every reason and justification you have for not having ten orgasms a day, or ten sexual partners and for not having triple the income, what are all the reasons and justifications? And then take it and say, “You know what, I destroy and uncreate all this stuff”, and let it go, burn it, shred it, step on it, whatever you have to do so you know, “You know what, I’m starting anew here.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: I love it. Now do you find that men want to have more orgasms than women? I mean I’m wondering if our listeners are thinking, I’m not such a male point of view, you know, I mean, and women are kind of thinking, “Well I can’t have an orgasm unless someone loves me.”

Dain Heer: That’s one of the points of view that’s definitely out there. You know, many women say, “Well I can only do this because I love you”, okay fine. But see whatever is for you is just fine. I would actually say the “I want to have more orgasms” is probably even more of a female point of view than a male point of view. You know, there’s so many women out there who would actually love to have more orgasms, but they don’t have anybody willing to share, willing to give that to them. So when you ask, you know, for some women it may be, “Okay, what I need to do actually is take more ten minute breaks at work and go into the restroom and masturbate.” Okay, cool. Well that is being outrageous. And notice how your body feels after it, it feels more alive. Well what you want to do is you want to do the things in your life that make you and your body feel more alive and more outrageous.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yeah ‘cause women have had way more conditioning about their sexuality and their sexual ness and everything.

Dain Heer: Supposedly. I would beg to differ actually.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well maybe. Well go ahead and differ, but, you may convince me, but go ahead, disagree with me.

Dain Heer: Well what I’ve seen with men is the same conditioning on the other side of the fence. So we have this place where women have been conditioned out of being as sexual as they naturally are. Men have been conditioned out of being as nurturing and caring and sexual as they naturally are. Men think their job is to give. Women think their job is to receive, only they want to give and the men want to receive. We have this total confusion. So one of the ways out of that is in your own life look and go, “Okay, all this stuff that I bough from everybody, once again, destroy and uncreate it. I’m starting anew”, and you can write down, “Okay, what are the erroneous points of view that I have regarding copulation? What are the erroneous points of view I have regarding orgasm? What point of view do I have that’s not mine regarding all of this?” Write them down and then burn them, destroy them. What we would do in an Access classes, we would destroy and uncreate them using this declaring statement, I’m going to say it once so ya’ll have it, you can use it, and it’s “Right and wrong, good and bad, pod and puck, all nine, shorts, boys and beyond.” Now that was a mouthful, I know, and luckily it’s, you know, internet radio so you can record it, replay it.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well I actually put it up on your episode page.

Dain Heer: Okay, great. That’s awesome. Now here’s the thing, you don’t actually have to just use that. You can say all that weird shit Dain said and it still works, that’s part of the cool stuff about it. So if you would say, “Okay, so all the points of view I bought about sex that are running me today from anybody else, I destroy and uncreate them”, and then you just go, “Right and wrong, good and bad, pod and puck, all nine, shorts, goys and beyond” or all that shit Dain said and it will still work, okay. If you were to do that with the points of view you bought and all the other stuff that we talked about, you’d start having way more of a sense of freedom regarding sex, copulation and your life. And that’s the interesting part for me, is when your life starts to change. One other thing you can do is everyday, “What one thing could I do today to be more outrageous than I was yesterday? What one thing?” And it may be, you know, going to work with no panties on, could be masturbating on the way to work, could be masturbating at work. I was on a bus one time, I was in the back of the bus, I was being taken to the LA airport, and there were, you know, probably 30 people on the bus, and I was in the very back row and I put my jacket over my knees like I was sleeping and masturbated. It was great. My mom’s going to love hearing this I can tell you. It was wonderful, you know, and….

Dr. Patti Taylor: She’d be so proud.

Dain Heer: Exactly, “Good boy, I love my son.” You know, the wonderful thing about my mom is she would be, she’d be like, “That’s very interesting son, good for you, you know.” And so, but for me that was me creating the outrageousness of my life and not worrying, you know, if somebody would have found out I would have been like, “Hey, I’m having a good time”, you know. Instead of judging it, what if you could live your life from the lightness of it. Here’s the other thing; what if you could have sex from that place? What if you could have copulation from there? From, “Hey, I don’t know what we’re going to do today, but it’ll sure be fun.” And if the other thing that, I’m going to leave you with this one other tool, and that is every judgment that keeps me from having joyful copulation, destroy and uncreate it and all that other weird shit Dain would say, okay. And if you’ll do that everyday, and if you’ll do it with every person you’re thinking of copulating with, copulation will be a totally different experience.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. So can you give us a quick example of that.

Dain Heer: Sure, I was going to, you know, I’d asked a girl out and I was going to, you know, I was thinking, “Wow, it’d be really cool if this leads to copulation ‘cause she looks like she’d be really fun to have in bed”, and what I did was I started going into the series of judgments that I’d gone into in the past every time before having copulation with somebody. And so, I just felt all that energy and I went, “Okay, so all these judgments, all these points of view, all the ones that aren’t mine, everything this is and everything that keeps it in place, I now destroy and uncreate it, right, wrong and bad, pod and puck, all nine, boys, shorts and beyond or all the weird shit I would say”, and it lightened up, and then I went, okay, so once again, asking a question, I said, “You know, what would it take for this to be joyful for me?”, and that’s where you have to get there with the whole copulation. Also with money; keep bringing money in because it’s the same thing. What would it take for money to be joyful? What would it take for me to have joyful orgasm, and eventually, ideally what I would hope for you is that you end up having what I call an orgasmic life, where every aspect of your life has this joyful orgasmic intensity to it and this possibility for outrageousness all the time, because you’re not worried about what other people are going to judge in you, and when you get over worrying about what other people are going to judge, you have the best copulation ever.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And you teach this stuff, huh?

Dain Heer: Yes, yes, and we teach it and we also show people, and we go through, we do these clearings with them on this and all kinds of other weird ways in which we lock ourselves up so that you can actually be there with somebody, look in their eyes and have no judgment of them or their body, you have no judgment of you or your body because how many people are actually comfortable being seen naked? Okay, and you have this willingness to explore that is such a gift, and when you’re in that willingness to explore together it’s hot, like you were talking about before, and the orgasms you can have, it’s not just, “Okay, I  had one orgasm and got off”, it’s like why would you stop at one? It’s like you have one and then you play and do something else and then you have another one and you play and do something else and, you know, more and more and more, and it starts to become this orgasmic creation between the two of you, when you come out of judgment and out of all of your points of view of the past.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. So if someone were to start getting out of judgment we’ll say, what would be the fastest if they started doing some of these processes? How long would it take for somebody to learn how to, you know, have this kind of sex?

Dain Heer: I would say you’d notice changes in days, literally.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Days?

Dain Heer: Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, that’s the miraculous part about it.

Dain Heer: Yeah, really, and that, that’s the really cool part for me ‘cause I, prior to this I did so many techniques and, oh my god, you know, that we, that took hours, weeks, months and years to apparently master. This isn’t even about mastery. It’s like you keep getting changes that continue to occur, and literally within days you can notice a totally different experience.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that’s really amazing. So we’re coming to the end of our show, so maybe one quick success story of someone that you’ve seen.

Dain Heer: Oh boy, goodness. There are so many. Lets see, I had a woman who, who was just getting out of a long-term marriage. She was having a terrible time, this was very interesting because she was having a terrible time with money. She was having a terrible, she felt terrible about herself, she was having no sex, and she started using these tools. Literally two days later, okay, she got a settlement from her husband that she wasn’t even expecting that was five times what he had promised, two days later. Okay, she started doing this get out of judgment, you know, and what, started doing one outrageous thing a day, and then three days after that she met a guy and they started having what she said was “the greatest sex I’d ever had”, and this was like literally within a five day span. So I know it can work in days. You know, once again, it’s a function of what are you willing to receive in the world and how can we increase that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, well that’s an inspiring story.

Dain Heer: Yeah, isn’t it though? That’s the fun part for me is you see something like that and, where somebody’s life totally changes, and the interesting thing is she stuck around Access, she’s continued to do more and things have continued to grow for her. It hasn’t stagnated, she’s continued to create and grow.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well there’s so many words of wisdom, you know, “When it rains it pours”, “You catch more fly’s with honey than with vinegar”, I mean, you know, joy attracts joy….

Dain Heer: Yes.

Dr. Patti Taylor: and an orgasmic life kind of is, you know, living well is the best revenge, I mean, it’s clearly great wisdom underlying all of this.

Dain Heer: Yeah.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So we are going to close the show. Are there a few last words of wisdom that if, listeners can remember, you know, to take home with them?

Dain Heer: One of the things I would say is please, be willing to do whatever you would do regardless of who might judge it. Be willing to live as the outrageousness of you, and be willing to ask, “What would be orgasmic for me to choose today?”, and one last thing, my mother’s going to love me for this one, people need to masturbate more often, joyfully.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well our listeners are going to love that. I do. So thank you very, very much.

Dain Heer: Thank you so much Patti. It’s been a great pleasure being here.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, its been totally orgasmic. Well this does bring us to the end of our show and thank you all for listening. Please send me email at [email protected]. For text and transcripts of this show, so you can send it to all your friends who don’t have an iPod, and other shows on the Personal Life Media Network, do visit our website at personallifemedia.com. And if you haven’t already please be sure to subscribe to the Expanded Lovemaking Show so you can get automatic updates. Also, please visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor, at www.expandedlovemaking.com where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, services and events. So this is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor and that’s all for not. I remain yours in ever expanding lovemaking and I’ll see you next week.