Episode 33: The Erotic Rockstar’s Three-Day Orgasmic Miracle Makeover with Destin Gerek

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In this show, hear Dr. Patti talk to Destin Gerek, a Sexological Bodyworker, sex educator, artist, video producer, and, of course, the original “Erotic Rockstar”. Just who is this fascinating persona? Think of those times you seen someone reaching out to an admiring audience, or otherwise welcoming person, confident in love, and voilà!  This person performs with generosity, delight, sparkle, and verve! How does he or she do it? Is this something you can do, and if so how?  Destin gives you a three day erotic makeover program which, when followed, is the opposite of a diet.  It's a splurge! Find out what you can do on days one, two, and three to prepare for the date of a lifetime. Be ready to step outside your normal routine with simple, easy, and fun practices designed to have you feel way more confident, sexy, and self-loving. Discover why self exploration is so valuable, and hear the different ways to do it on different days.  Learn how eye engagement will blow your partner's heart wide open. Swivel those hips, move that breath, and get that sound going to really amp up your level of sensation! Destin’s voice alone will melt and inspire anyone alive! After your three days, you'll meet your partner, who's hopefully been practicing as well.  But, if not, no worries.  Destin will walk you through taking the lead in love, as any great Erotic Rockstar would. You’ll create an amazingly loving and memorable experience.

Transcript

Woman: This program is intended for mature audiences only.

[musical interlude]

Dr. Patti Taylor: In this amazing show, thrill your partner as you learn these practices over three days to transform yourself into an erotic rockstar. Free up those lips, hips, eyes, voice, lungs, genitals, and sensations.

[musical interlude]

Destin Gerek: First off, an erotic rockstar has style, and it doesn’t necessarily mean my style. My style is my style and your style is your style. It's just a matter of tapping in and finding a way to outwardly express your most erotic self. I am an erotic creature and so are you, that’s part of our gift as being human beings is that we are erotic creatures. When other people are responding to you differently, you feel differently about yourself as well and it just spiral upward in that sense.

So day one, first and foremost, let's go shopping. Any time you put on a role which what this is, it’s trying on a role, the role of an erotic rockstar, it's just playing the exploration of a different part of yourself. To be a big part of being a rockstar is not about having that over self-confidence involve “Yes, I am the shit. I love me.” So start there. If you can't say “I love me”, well, now is a good time to practice it.

Being an erotic rockstar like I say is being able to tap in to your eroticism freely in any given moment, in any given situation. It doesn’t mean that you have to where your eroticism is on your sleeve 24/7, but it means that if you want to, you can.

[musical interlude]

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the “Expanded Lovemaking” show. I'm your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of ExpandedLovemaking.com and I teach you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever dreamed possible. Today on the show, we're talking about the Erotic Rockstar’s Three-day Orgasmic Miracle Makeover. Nowadays, we see TV shows about home makeovers, hair makeovers, and even face and body makeovers that take place over short periods of time. Wouldn’t it be great if we give ourselves an erotic makeover? So, what if we could learn to be hotter or sexier or even more orgasmic over a mere three days? To find out if we could, let's meet today’s guest, Destin Gerek.

Welcome, Destin.

Destin Gerek: Hi, Patti, it's good to be here.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, it's great to have you here. Destin Gerek [xx] his talks superbly as someone who creates himself as a dynamic and turned on guy. He is the original erotic rockstar who’s here to tell you how you can learn to be one, too. Destin is a certified sexological body worker, a sex educator, an erotic embodiment coach, a certified massage therapist, an erotic performer and artist, and the owner of Erotic Rockstar Productions. He teaches workshops and coaches private clients in person and by phone on some really juicy topics and is located in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I'm so glad we have Destin here with us today. I think our listeners would love to know something they could do over the short term to give themselves the gift of a lift. Plus, I bet a lot of his fans would love it if their lovers would listen in and follow suit. Who knows? Then you'd have an erotic rock duet. So today, we’ll find out Destin’s ideas for having a tantalizing turn around. So stay tuned for turning on.

So, let's start with a few questions and just before we get in to the mechanics, talk some concept. So I want to find out a little bit about what is an erotic rockstar?

Destin Gerek: Good question. First off, an erotic rockstar has style, and that doesn’t necessarily mean my style. My style is my style and your style is your style. It's just a matter of tapping in and finding a way to outwardly express your most erotic self.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK. So you said to me before that it's not just about who you are. Now OK, I admit, you're gorgeous, you're hot, you really are an erotic rockstar. But if it could be anyone, then are you saying that this is some kind of an erotic archetype perhaps, and what would that mean for anyone who is listening?

Destin Gerek: Exactly. Actually, I love you use that term as the erotic rockstar being an archetype. As a symbol, something for you to look at as something to strive towards as some way to encourage yourself around really giving yourself permission. Permission to tap in to your eroticism, to let it really shine forth out of you, and that’s what the rockstars are all about, right? It is about shining out that which is inside of them. So I am here to act this permission and to act that symbol, the archetype for you to--I see the erotic rockstar in you. Do you see the erotic rockstar in you?

Dr. Patti Taylor: You know, I really want to see the erotic rockstar in me.

Destin Gerek: It's there, Patti, it's there.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, like I could see that I would want to be really performing not like a results-oriented but really giving my lover a great show, like there's this sort of engagement with my audience. But this should be like my lover and really pleasing them but also that they're watching me and that there's this way where I would love myself and that I'm awesome! I'm like just totally amazing and I'm like strumming my thing, I don’t know. You do it so great.

Destin Gerek: I do what is great, strum my thing.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, I don’t know. It's like your picture and it's like an attitude. Like what's this attitude, what is attitude? You just embody it, it glows out of you. I was like, “I want that.” So what is it that I'm wanting?

Destin Gerek: I think that first and foremost, what it is and what you're sensing is this comfort and confidence in my erotic self, this recognition that, “You know what? I am an erotic creature and so are you.” That’s part of our gift as being human beings is that we are erotic creatures. One of the things I have going for me is that I accept, that I embrace that. It's not only like shame [sp] around that, but I celebrate my eroticism. When I put myself out there in that way in the celebration of my eroticism without need, that’s the big difference. I'm not going out there and acting in this way or trying to show myself or prove myself in order to get something out of somebody else or to bed somebody else or whatever. It's really about the love that I have found in myself and the connection I have found with my own eroticism and celebrating it for its own sake.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, yum. Not only that I like to be an erotic rockstar, but you know what? I sure wouldn’t mind it if my partner was an erotic rockstar, too.

Destin Gerek: Well, great. I hope your partner’s listening in.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, so I can always email this podcast around. So is this really something you can learn? Were you always like this or did you kind of teach yourself to be this way?

Destin Gerek: I have definitely been through my own journey in places of transformation. Of course, like since I was a teen, at least I started having some awareness about my sexuality and my eroticism. But like most people, I also got a lot of negative messaging around such things. It's been a journey around like trying to connect into who am I? Where is that love for myself, first and foremost, finding that inner self-confidence and then being able to share that forth out into the world. Again, what we're going to go over today is just some simple exercises and simple tips that you can work on at home in your life that then you can continue on and transform your whole beings. That way your eroticism can shine forth into more of your regular life.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, that’s what really, really excites me is I'd love to do the program and I certainly want my partner to do the program, and so let's get started. How are we going to structure this? We're just going to do day one, day two, day three?

Destin Gerek: Sounds perfect, sound perfect. Let's do that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, great. So let's just get started then. What would we do on day one? I guess, we’d want to start with our looks.

Destin Gerek: Absolutely. First and foremost, you need to start feeling like you're an erotic rockstar. Like I said, I know you're an erotic rockstar inside of you that’s just begging to get out. So one place to really start feeling that is by starting to look the part. When you present yourself outwardly to the world in a certain way, they start to perceive you differently and start to respond to you differently. When other people are responding to you differently, you feel differently about yourself as well and it's just a spiral upward in that sense.

So day one, first and foremost, let's go shopping.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, well, telling me to go shopping is really easy, but people tend to--I think they stuck in a rot and they always try the same thing. How would you go shopping to get out your inner rockstar? I want to do that. I want to, I do, but how?

Destin Gerek: First and foremost, I recommend having a body for this whole program, a friend who either wants to go to the program along with you and you can help [xx] on. Or somebody who’s just going to be your personal cheerleader of “Go, go, go!” or “Yes!” as well as challenge you on or tell you the truth of “No, that doesn’t quite do it.” But when you go out and do this little shopping trip, it really is about pushing your edge, pushing your boundaries as this whole three-day experience.

It's not about continuing the look that you're already working. Whatever look you are playing with, if you are feeling your most erotic self already, OK, well then, what do you need this for? If not, well, this is an opportunity to explore, to play, and again, starting from the outside and we're going to go out shopping, go to stores that you don’t normally go to to try on things that you don’t normally try. Remember, like the great thing about dressing rooms is there no commitment and then, no one has to see you but you.

So grab some things, and each time you put something on and look in the mirror, ask yourself the question of, “Do I feel sexier than I normally do right now? Looking at myself in this, do I feel more erotic right now?” If the answer isn’t a clear yes, put it back and try something else and try something else and try something else. It's a play, it's a play, so start playing.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So I get it. You don’t necessarily even have to buy something although you might.

Destin Gerek: No, absolutely not. You can spend all day just going into shops, they have clothes that you can't even afford. It doesn’t matter, it's simply about getting into play mode and viewing your eroticism as something to enjoy and play with.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I'm guessing that maybe even makeup or a new hairstyle might fit into that.

Destin Gerek: Absolutely. It's amazing how much changing your hairstyle can completely transform your look, and thus, also how you feel about yourself. So with these whole three-day makeover, yes, anything that you can change. The makeup, you know, the makeup doesn’t only just have to be for the women, most men feel different kinda of discomfort around playing with makeup. Maybe you have a female friend who can help you like play with some sort of eyeliner or something that can just jazz up your look a little bit.

Again, think rockstar, how many rockstars play with makeup in some form that most people don’t or most men feel like, “Oh, I can't do that. I can't do that.” It's three days, just play.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, well hey, most movie stars wear makeup on stage. Right?

Destin Gerek: Absolutely, absolutely. Again, because what are they doing, anytime you put on a role which what this is, it's trying on a role, the role of an erotic rockstar. It's playing, it's exploration of a different part of yourself.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, that sounds really fun. So then what do we do once we have a new look? And one more thing, I guess we can just look into magazines or just to get some ideas. Just “Oh, that will make feel sexy, I think I'll try that” avenue?

Destin Gerek: Exactly. Exactly. Modeling is a really effective form of learning process. So seeing people out there or looking via magazines or media in some way to say, “Hey, yes, I think that looks hot.” This doesn’t mean like if you're a man, “Oh, there's a man that I find hot.” It's more of like, “Oh, I want to bring more of that into my being.” OK, well, here, let's take some steps of doing so.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, great. Listen, we're going to take a short break, so please stay with us. We are talking to Destin Gerek and this is Dr. Patti. We will be right back. You can find out more about Destin at www.EroticRockstar.com, of course. So we will be right back.

[radio break]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back, and I'm Dr. Patti Taylor, and we're talking to Destin Gerek about the Erotic Rockstar’s Three-day Orgasmic Makeover. Before the break, we learned about the makeover program and we're going to get some more details now. So OK, what's next?

Destin Gerek: So now that you've got some new duds to try on and look and feel your erotic best, now take some privacy, be home alone. Hopefully, you have a full length mirror somewhere in your house, and wearing your new outfit, spend some time close in front of the mirror and make eye contact with yourself. Pick one of your eyes, it doesn’t really matter too much whether you're picking your right or your left, and bring your focus into that eye, and really just try to imagine you're diving deep into your own eyes.

If you see some resistance there, do you find it challenging to maintain eye contact with yourself? Do you find it easy? Do you [xx] coming up into your head about how you're looking or if you're doing this right or that you feel silly, being aware of these things. You don’t necessarily have to silence it, just recognize it, notice it and realize that, “OK, these are the stories that you're telling yourself. Let's create some new stories here.” There's a lot of power in witnessing and a lot of power in self-witnessing that the mirror can really do for you.

So play with this eye contact. You don’t need to set a timer. You're not going to spend two or three minutes of simply looking deeply into one of your eyes, and imagine you're making love to yourself with your eyes, pouring your love into yourself. The big part of being a rockstar isn’t it about having that over self-confidence [xx] “Yes, I am the shit. I love me.” So start there, if you can't say “I love me”, well, now is a good time to practice it. If it feels forced, again if it feels silly, if you're feeling like, “I can't say that”, it’s all the more reason to push your edge, push your edge and just say it, say “I love me.” Wherever you are right now, wherever you are listening right now, say “I love me.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: I love me.

Destin Gerek: How does that feel?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! It felt really great. There's just this tiniest trench of feeling like “I have not said that enough in my life” and this relief.

Destin Gerek: Few of us, few of us have said that enough in our lives. So again, this is a great opportunity for maybe you've never said this to yourself. There's a breakthrough right there. Again, if you haven’t said it, say it now, “I love me.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: It actually feels very [xx] because I think I've been a little hard on myself lately and I love saying, “I love me.” I love the fact that our listeners might be saying that, too. I actually, that this actually turns me on. So do you think that people out there are saying that right now?

Destin Gerek: And the turn on is what it's all about. So the next piece that we're going to work with to finish out day one is we're going to start your practice of your erotic self-exploration. Now, this is different from your masturbation habit. Masturbation habit is usually habitual, it's that which you do, something that you learned when you're young and that’s what you do each time usually go into and focused on coming or your orgasm, oftentimes, as quickly as possible.

An erotic self-exploration, by contrast, is about exploring your erotic self, it's about “What can I learn in this time period?” So you're going to take 30 minutes, just 30 minutes again setting a timer might be a really good idea to force yourself that even if this feels hard or silly, that, “OK, I have committed to 30 minutes.” We're not going to include our genitals today because it can get so easy to just like dive straight towards your cocky or pussy or what have you call your genitals and ignore everything else. So we'll just going to let that be for today.

You start at your feet and you start massaging your feet, working up unto your ankles, and just working up your thighs, and you can involve your pelvis also. But again, like don’t bring your focus yet to your genitals here and continue up your torso, your belly, your chest, squeezing at your skin, massaging your body, caressing your body, making love to yourself. Then being an erotic rockstar starts, first and foremost, in having that strong connection to your own erotic self. That’s what others will respond to as well. So it starts with that love for yourself. So take these 30 minutes to explore your body and make love to yourself.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. Now, do you say something to yourself like “I love me”?

Destin Gerek: I'm saying say “I love me” as much as you want, as much as you can, all we can.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, good. Great. So that will wrap up day one, so now let's move on to day two.

Destin Gerek: Day two, well, involves the things that you've worked on day one, and it just expands from there. The eye gazing that you started with yourself yesterday, looking in the mirror in that way, that’s a practice. Now, let's bring that out into the rest of the world. When you go out on your day-to-day, just have your awareness around people’s eye gazing patterns or eye contact patterns. When you're at the register at the supermarket or something, try to make eye contact with the person ringing you up, see if they're looking at you, see if they're making real eye contact with you or if they're just glancing around and barely noticing your presence.

So many people don’t ever really take time to connect into the person who were standing of, who we’re communicating with. There's few things as powerful as making strong eye contact. So our part today is really about taking that practice that you do with yourself yesterday, bringing that out and try to make eye contact with every person that you come across today.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, I notice that you've actually been making this luscious eye contact with me as you've been talking to me, and it is, it's very sexy. So I guess if that’s what you get from practicing this, I have to tell you, I definitely can't wait to be an erotic rockstar and bring that out in me.

Destin Gerek: I've been feeling you meeting my eye contact just fine.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, yummy!

Destin Gerek: OK, next up is waking up your pelvis. So many of us hold so much constriction and tightness in our pelvises, and really, our pelvis is the root of our erotic source. So let's go over at a couple of things that you can do to just start waking up that part of your body to bring your awareness and attention to your pelvis. First up, we’ll start with just rocking your pelvis. Again, wherever you are, whether you're in a car driving right now, whether you're at an office desk, whether you're at home in bed, just bring your awareness into your pelvis and start to just rocking your pelvis into circles. Let me start like clockwise, creating circular motions with your pelvis.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That might be kind of hard to do when you're driving back and forth.

Destin Gerek: The other piece that you can play with is simply creating small thrusting motions with your pelvis, again like moving it outward, thrusting out and then rocking it backwards, thrusting out and rocking it backwards. These can be small movements, they can be large movements, it doesn’t really matter so much right now. It's largely about bringing your awareness into your pelvis.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, I'm getting really turned on.

Destin Gerek: That’s [xx].

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, like I can do the circular ones, too, it's not that hard. You'd probably do that in a business meeting, too, right?

Destin Gerek: It depends on your business. The thing is more often than not, if you see this somewhere, people are not going to be super aware what you're doing with your pelvis, just play with it. Again, you need to be comfortable but at the same time, this is about pushing your edge.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, I like that. So, I like that. So now what?

Destin Gerek: All right. Another really big piece of really connecting into your erotic self and your erotic energy is breathing. For so many of us, breathing is just something that we don’t even really think about, it's just something that we do unconsciously. But right now, close your eyes for a moment, if you're not driving.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Or walking.

Destin Gerek: Or walking, and just bring your awareness into your breath. Let me [sp] change anything right now, just notice what's going on, are you breathing deeply or are you breathing shallowly? Are you breathing into your belly or are you breathing into your chest? For so many of us, we breathe short, rapid, shallow breaths into the upper part of our chests, and this is a way of really inhibiting our ability to really feel as much as we're able to feel. If you really try to tap into experiencing as much pleasure as you're able to experience, then you want full deep breaths, you want more of that [xx] coursing through your whole bloodstream. You know what? Every cell in your body breathes, every cell of your body is wanting more of that in order to fully feel more. So that’s next up of what you want to practice.

Just imagine letting your diaphragm drop, filling your belly. [Inhaling and exhaling]. Yes, sure, this is going to be your piece, but allow some sound to come out with that. Find a place of pleasure, that place of real enjoyment in your inhales. Again, drop your diaphragm, let your belly really fill [aahh] take a deep and a [aahh]. Yes, express that pleasure, the enjoyment that you're feeling with your exhale. [Inhaling and exhaling] Sound as this amazing way of not just being an pressure of pleasure but also helping a elicit pleasure. [Inhaling and exhaling].

Yes, it's a sound that sounds amazing, sounds wonderful. There's so many ways of expressing yourself vocally, and men particularly don’t think of any models out there around expressing their pleasure with sound. So I'm all for that, really explore this again, this is something that you can do when no one’s around, explore this on your own. If you feel silly, let yourself feel silly, but again, push your edge and look at this as just you're exploring, you're just playing, that’s all. There's nothing to it, you're just playing.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You know, it's so amazing, it's just in these few exercises. When I was doing the breathing, I notice that my pelvis is rocking and your whole body was moving and then my whole body was moving. It's like my whole body is sort of unfrozen from where it was. I feel like I'm a piece of seaweed in the water, I'm a completely different person from like three minutes ago. This is amazing!

Destin Gerek: That is really powerful stuff. If you're just listening to this and you're not trying this out at this moment, you're maybe feeling a little skeptical. But I'm telling you take a moment, to take just a few minutes to really practice take slow deep breaths into your belly as full as you can and releasing as with some sound and making each one deeper, making each sound comes out of you more fully, expressing it out with all that you've got and then tell me that there's not something to this.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, and rock your pelvis, too. That part is really nice. Oh, oh, oh! OK, so is that it for day two?

Destin Gerek: That’s going to be it for day two.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK. Now, and this can take anywhere from how long to how long?

Destin Gerek: You can do this in as little as five to 10 minutes, or you can spend as much as like 45 minutes or more exploring all of this.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, so we're set for day two, and OK, so we're going to rest and stop [xx] our sponsors. Please stay with us. We are talking to Destin Gerek, this is Dr. Patti Taylor. Destin Gerek, you can find out more about him at www.EroticRockstar.com. We will be right back.

[radio break]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back. I'm Dr. Patti Taylor we're talking to Destin Gerek about the Erotic Rockstar’s Three-day Orgasmic Miracle Makeover. Before the break, we were talking about day two and I think we're going to stay with day two. What's left?

Destin Gerek: There's more piece that I really like to add in and that’s taking these three parts, this waking up of your pelvis, the rocking of your pelvis, the breathing and the sounding and bringing that into your second day’s erotic self-exploration practice can set the time for 30 minutes again and now continue this exploration of your body, exploration of “How can I feel pleasure in my body” while rocking your hips along with your breath and making sound. Again, don’t get to focus on your genitals, this is about a full body experience and let's just continue exploring that except now [Inhaling and exhaling] along with that as you feel  things that feel good, let it come out even more with your sound. [Inhaling and exhaling].

Dr. Patti Taylor: So this sound seems to be very important for you. Why is that?

Destin Gerek: I have been on my own journey with sounding and vocalizing. I've been sexually active for sometime now, and I just remember from my earliest experiences, being really jealous of the women that I was with, and all of the sounds that they made and hms, the ways in which they seemed to be enjoying themselves, I'm being like, “I want that.” And it wasn't until more recently like within the past couple of years that I start realizing, “Oh, you know what? I can get that by doing that.” That it's not just that she's making more sounds because she's feeling more than I am, part of it is she’s feeling more than I am because she's making sounds.

So at first, it was really hard for me, again there was no model out there for me on being a man and expressing my pleasure vocally. So I just started playing with it, trying to push myself, at first, it was kind of timidly and then more and more and more, and now, [xx] forced really. Now, I can't stop myself from making sounds. It just became such a part of my eroticism, and it has greatly expanded the amount of pleasure that I feel in my body.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So you actually feel more orgasmic when you make sounds.

Destin Gerek: Oh, it's twofold. One, my orgasms are so much richer, so much more powerful, but another piece of it, I found that learning to use sound and learning to vocalize has actually allowed me to control my erotic energy better that rather than it staying in my pelvis until it pops out of my pelvis, so to speak, I can use the sound to help circulate that erotic energy build up through my body as well as like out my throat, out my mouth. You can even feel almost like coming out with my voice. That’s really been profound for me.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! That’s amazing! So do you have a lot of range? Do you roar like a lion or sing like a bird?

Destin Gerek: [Roaring sound like a lion]

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! Yes, wow!

Destin Gerek: There's so many ways to play with vocalizing, there's so many ways of playing with sounding. Again, I keep saying the term play, this keeps away from being goal-focused and feeling like there's something that you're supposed to do. Simply playing is exploration.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! Wow! Do you check with your partner before you do it, or you just eat it all up, love it all?

Destin Gerek: She still a lot way louder than I am.

Dr. Patti Taylor: She's inspiring you.

Destin Gerek: She's been a total inspiration for me, but let me tell you, guys. If you are feeling particularly shy around this, all I can say is that the woman of my life have responded so powerfully, so positively to my sounding. What it is is that you're giving her positive feedback with whatever she's doing, it's making you feel good. Instead of her wondering, “Is this working for him or is this not?”, she's getting immediate feedback that, “Oh, yes! This is good.” What happens with positive feedback? Positive feedback is this amazing way of making us wanting to do more of whatever it was that gave us that feedback. So it's a win situation for you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, I can see that, and I guess it would certainly have you feeling really more confident about yourself when you're expressing your feeling and just being well received. I mean it seems like it's a positive cycle. So your practice it on your own and I think that’s great because then you practice it, that’s another cycle and you just develop those muscles. So it sounds like a wonderful thing to practice.

Well, can we move on to day three now?

Destin Gerek: Absolutely.

Dr. Patti Taylor: What do we do?

Destin Gerek: So day three is really about integrating these pieces that we've worked with in day one and day two. Throughout day three, I want you to be focused, take the entire day to be really focused on your eroticism, on your sexiness, your sex appeal. Just being aware of your sexuality in everything that you do, checking with your pelvis on a regular basis. Wait, what am I feeling here right now, and if the answer’s nothing, well then, [xx] your head three times. So thrust your pelvis back and forth a few times.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I'm doing it right now.

Destin Gerek: So am I, so am I. Having your awareness with this eye contact, making eye contact with everybody that you come across, taking a few minutes when you first wake up in the morning, to spend that time in front of the mirror, to put on your new Erotic Rockstar outfit that makes you feel your sexiest. Spend that time in front of the mirror, “I love me. I love me. I love me.” Yes, feel it! [Inhaling and exhaling]. Breathe into that, sound into that while moving your hips [inhaling and exhaling]. Everything that you do throughout the day, be aware of your five senses, tap in to your erotic self in everything that you do, notice the feeling of your clothing on your skin and notice the air on your body as you walk, see the beauty and the sexiness in everything that you can find throughout the day. Remember, this isn’t about needing or seeking something from others, it is simply an expression of you celebrating your own erotic self.

Again, the biggest part that I really want you to bring in to your final day is the culmination of your erotic self-exploration practice. Again, we're going to integrate those pieces that we've worked with - your breath, your hip movements, and your sound - except now, in with you're full body exploration, you can also now include your genitals, just remember you are still a whole body. So just touch your genitals as you want but also continuously take your hands--remember you got two hands to work with. If one hand is on your genitals, make sure your other hand is moving around the rest of your body, continuously spread any erotic energy that build up that you're feeling in your pelvis, around the rest of your body while you're breathing. [Inhaling and exhaling], moving that through, exploring your whole body, and remembering this is about this moment right now, and feeling the pleasure in every moment, this isn’t about a goal. You can spend these 30 minutes and not have an orgasm and still have the most powerful, most transformative like self sexual experience of your life. It's not about getting somewhere, it's about enjoying each moment.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow! I was just thinking, this is like the opposite of a diet. This is like a splurge, the ultimate splurge.

Destin Gerek: Absolutely. Give yourself that splurge. When was the last time you've really given yourself that much attention to feeding your erotic self?

Dr. Patti Taylor: You're asking me? [laughter]. Well, when is the next time? Very, very soon. But I think that’s a good question for our listeners, when is the last time? And isn’t it about time that you gave yourself this much pleasure and joy, and why not tonight?

Destin Gerek: Why not give yourself the gift of expanding your erotic self?

Dr. Patti Taylor: It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. So now, all right, we've done this phenomenal makeover and I bet you, like tons of our listeners are going to go into this, because you said that so beautifully, that was like art and poetry. I was just moved through and through my whole being just the way you said that. I'm definitely going to do that. I think I'm going to play the podcast and listen to it and just do it. Absolutely.

So I've done it, we've all done it all of us who are listeners and fans of this show. Now what? Were going to meet our partner and maybe they can do it on their own or maybe they do it together. Now, what? They meet their partner, they're an erotic rockstar and, of course, this is just the three-day version, there are probably other longer versions. But after they’ve done their three-day, now what? They have their date.

Destin Gerek: If you're doing this with your partner, I think it's a great idea to do this separately. Of course, it's three days and then set a date where you can come together and meet one another with your new erotic rockstar personas, fully on, fully in your confidence. You're now decked out in your new wardrobe or at least this new outfit, you're feeling good. But before you meet on a date, you're going to spend another extra couple of minutes [sp] in front of your mirror reminding yourself that “I love me. I'm the shit. I am an erotic rockstar.”

Feeling into that, breathing into that, giving yourself a few breath and sounds and then go and meet your partner with that level of confidence when you first connect for that first time when she or he answers the door, when you first meet, immediately make that eye contact that you've been practicing for the past three days. Take that time to dive deep into your beloved’s eyes, feel that self-confidence of self, let it radiate outwards and know that your partner is picking up on that, he's feeling that. And if they’ve been erotic rockstaring themselves, too, feel it from them, too. If they're not, see the erotic rockstar that’s just below the surface in your lover as well. Because you know what? When you're seeing it in them, that’s going to pull out of them as well.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, that’s what an erotic rockstar does, they motivate and inspire.

Destin Gerek: That’s my agenda.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Oh, wow! That is so romantic.

Destin Gerek: So to complete that, now when you've had this romantic or amazing date with your beloved, you've been feeling in your erotic power, you've been feeling in your confidence, you've been staying with this eye contact. Now, you've moved on to the bedroom. Take this experience you've had over the past few days of exploring your erotic self without agenda, without just a focus on your genitals but integrating your whole body moving your pelvis and being aware of that and breathing and sounding, and now it's bring it in with your partner. Maintain that eye contact. [Inhaling and exhaling]. I'm breathing to make sounds, help guide your partner into breathing with you. Even simply by taking those slow, deep breaths and sounds can encourage your partner to match you in that. Such an explore his or her body and make love to it, make love to your beloved’s body--toe to head, head to toe. Seeing “How much pleasure can I pull out of my beloved’s body? How much pleasure can I pour into my beloved’s body?” Again, this is taking away agenda. This is taking away the focus of, “OK, this is about my orgasm. This is about my partner’s orgasm.” This is about feeling as much pleasure as you can in every given moment. [xx] explore that and play with that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, I'm speechless.

Destin Gerek: As you will be, as you will be.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Who wouldn’t want that?

Destin Gerek: So I encourage you, all our listeners out there, to realize the first step, the biggest step, the most important thing in becoming an erotic rockstar is making that connection with yourself. It's about not simply letting go of shame around your eroticism but it's about celebrating your erotic self as “Yes! I give myself permission to have an eroticism. I give myself permission to enjoy my eroticism and to play with my eroticism, explore and see what else is in there and how I can connect so strongly to that and bring that out into the world and let other see that. Know that just really feeling that being in your own erotic power, your beloved, or if you don’t have a beloved just other people, will see that and will respond to that. You don’t need to be concern like mission or targeting, with others, if you're celebrating yourself and your erotic power, others will respond in kind to you, will see that in you.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, you certainly model that beautifully, I only wish that our listeners could be sitting here with me right now. You are beautiful, you are sexy, you are limber, your pelvis is rocking all over and your breathing. It's true, I match your breathing and I think that’s a great way to get your lover really hot and turned on as for you to just be breathing and sexy and hot. It's so inspiring. So thank you so much.

So I just want to ask you one more thing, if you're an erotic rockstar, just one parting thought before we end the show. How do you think that would influence the rest of your life for our fans out there?

Destin Gerek: That’s a good question. It's definitely influenced and changed my life. Being an erotic rockstar like I say, is being able to tap into your eroticism freely in any given moment, in any given situation. It doesn’t mean that you have to where your eroticism on your sleeve 24/7. But it means that if you want to, you can. Anytime that you are out, anytime that you're walking down the street, whether you're doing, just being proud in your erotic power, again, will change how other people perceive you. When other people perceive you differently, they will interact with you differently. When they're interacting differently, you will then feel it and continue to think of yourself differently around your eroticism. It's this whole spiral upward in which you’ll feel more and more into your erotic power, feel more confident in yourself and that will transcend into every part of your life.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, thank you very, very much. So thank you so much, Destin, for being on our show and sharing your insights and energy with all of us.

Destin Gerek: And you can find out more about me at my website, www.EroticRockstar.com.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, and he is, as [xx] available for a workshop, he's done coaching, he does amazing workshop. He has a video production company, he has amazing photos on his website and newletters. So he's an amazing resource and it's great pictures on your website. Wonderful things, you can just go check out EroticRockstar.com. So wonderful, wonderful website.

So this does bring us to the end of our show and thank you for listening. Please send me email at [email protected]. For text and transcripts of this show and other shows in the Personal Life Media Network, please visit our website at PersonalLifeMedia.com and come post your comment if you'd like. If you haven’t already, please be sure to subscribe to the “Expanded Lovemaking Show” so you can get automatic updates as soon as they become available. Also, please visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor at PersonalLifeMedia.com where you can join my mailing list and find out more about my products, events, and services, too.

So this is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor, and that’s all for now. I remain yours in ever expanded lovemaking and I’ll see you next week.

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