Episode 16: Flirt, Tease, and Arouse, In and Out Of the Bedroom with Lucas Hopkins, Gifted Photographer and Master Creator of Passionate Delights

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Take your passion to new heights, by adding new ways of flirting, teasing and arousing your lover. Dr. Patti Taylor interviews Lucas Hopkins of ShadowDancerPhotography.com. A brilliant photographer- his intimate photos capture an undeniable presence of turned-on energy. How does he create and capture this? And, does this talent extend to his sex life? (Guess!) Learn how you can set the scene for turned-on environments and sexy "happenings". Discover exactly how to genuinely tease and flirt to bring out a woman's sensuality, eroticism, and playfulness. Hear Lucas speak on the key assets of boldness, feeling, and attention ... and why you must source these from within. Do canned pickup lines work? (Guess!) Safety, safety, safety- do women crave this in order to open up fully? Learn to "manage the energy" when encountering extremely turned-on ladies, so you can prolong and guide steamy hot sessions, in and out of the bedroom. Lucas shares a few favorite secrets for taking a woman into interplanetary realms of bliss during sexual connections. Dr. Patti, totally inspired, reveals her passion for being intimately photographed (since she gets to be the shining star!) Lucas and Patti coach women on how they can get their guys to flirt and tease more - hint, hint - listen up, ladies! Yes, it's true. Both men and women can learn to set the stage for turn-on! And, do see Lucas's intimate photos to get the full experience of this show at http://www.shadowdancerphotography.com.

Transcript

Flirt, Tease, and Arouse, In and Out Of the Bedroom: Dr. Patti talks to Lucas Hopkins, Gifted Photographer and Master Creator of Passionate Delights

Announcer:  This program is intended for mature audiences only.

[intro music]

Patti Taylor: In this amazing show, you'll learn: why boldness without aggressiveness is a key to building turn-on; how to manage a woman's energy when it skyrockets way faster than you planned; and a secret to making it feel really, really good when you do have that juicy date.       
       
[music]       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Most people don't understand flirting. Teasing is another subject,          ;and although it can be incorporated into flirting, flirting is invitation to the dance.        
       
Lucas Hopkins: A women has come in and she wants pictures for herself. You know, sometimes they say it's for their husband, and it is, but it's also for them.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: So, we have a pretty good time, but there's no sex in the studio per se. There's a lot of erotica, but no actual sex.       
       
Patti Taylor: How did that happen? This is just the most evocative picture imaginable.    
       
[music]       
       
Lucas Hopkins: I just walked over to her and I said, "Eileen," not her real name, "Eileen, you're lying there," and I was whispering in her ear, "You're lying here with your legs spread in front of two complete strangers and your rubbing on your pussy." Well, it didn't take much longer.       
       
[music]       
       
Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show.  I'm your host, Dr. Patti Taylor of ExpandedLovemaking.com and I teach people how to give and receive way more pleasure than they ever dreamed possible. Today on this show we're talking about teasing, flirting, and turning on. And of course, delivering the goods in and out of the bedroom. Our guest is Lucas Hopkins, an extraordinary giver of pleasure, as well as a master photographer who clearly brings the art of turning on a woman into every part of his life. Welcome Lucas.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Hi Patti. How are you doing?        
       
Patti Taylor: Oh, I'm doing great today. I'm really, really glad to have you here.        
       
Lucas Hopkins: Super.
       
Patti Taylor: Lucas is a brilliant photographer. He does beautiful, beautiful art prints that range from conceptual art to scenic to intimate photographs. He's lived and studied at Moore University where he studied sensuality and orgasm for well over twenty years. He had a unique opportunity to practice with hundreds of others in the most leading edge environment of its time. I'm so glad to have you here with us today. I think men would love to know more about how to turn a woman on, both in and out of the bedroom.  Of course, we woman love it when a man does. When a man can bring out my sexiness, I'd say that both of us benefit. So today I'd like to find out what you like to say. And so let's just get started with some questions about teasing.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Sure, go ahead. Ask away.       
       
Patti Taylor: Okay, well I'd like to find out about teasing and flirting. Let's just get started with how would you define teasing and flirting and is there a difference?        
       
Lucas Hopkins: Oh yeah, sure. I consider flirting high art. Most people don't understand flirting. Teasing is another subject, and although it can be incorporated into flirting, flirting is invitation to the dance.       
       
Patti Taylor: Okay, invitation to the dance. Oh my goodness. So, uh-oh, don't tell me that you are going to flirt with me a little here. Do women like to be flirted with? And is there a little tease in there when you do flirt?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well it's like everything else. Some women want you to flirt with them          ; and some women don't. It's just a question of how do you approach if they want to proceed.       
       
Patti Taylor: So I'm guessing that a lot of guys would love to be that invitation. It comes down to a matter of confidence. I'm even thinking that a lot of women wish that men          ; would be more flirtatious with them. You are such a flirt. How do you pick up the confidence that you have to go ahead and do that flirting?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well if I doubt at any time, you have to be confident, that's exactly right.          You actually have to be bold without being aggressive. Figure that one out. There's your zen lesson for today. Anyway, you have to be bold. You have to act like a man if that's whose doing the flirting. If it's the woman then you have to act like the woman. If I'm flirting with a lady I want her to be the best lady she can be, then I'll be a better man and we go up and up and up. Boldness and confidence are really important. But if I have doubt, I just do it with doubt.       
       
Patti Taylor:  Okay so you do it with doubt. But you'd rather do it with the boldness.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: It doesn't matter. We get to the same place. It's just a different trip.       
       
Patti Taylor: Okay, so I'd like to get a little more specific then. We'll start with something concrete. So, I'm a woman. I walk into your studio. I'm looking for an intimate photograph of myself and I'm a little nervous. What do you do to warm me up?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well to begin with, the situation for the person who walks in, this is already erotic for them. They've been thinking about this all night. And sometimes they're tumescent. I always have an assistant with me, there's always another woman in the room. And the other woman usually is bi-sexual so that she can be very comforting.          She understands when a woman comes in and is tumescent. And we can both kind of bring her down a little bit so she doesn't "boing" off the planet. And that's what we do.          ; We get this woman to a place where she feels comfortable. We make it safe and that's the third thing, you make it safe. You make her feel comfortable and that she's in charge, and that we absolutely are who we are. And we'll not override the safe word.  Nobody’s ever said the safe word because we never get there.  If a woman feels uncomfortable I feel it right away so we stop and go back and do it another way.  So, that's what we do.       
       
Patti Taylor: So just for a woman, the fact that she's set up the interview, made the phone call, had to decide what to wear, gone through her lingerie and picked out well let's see these fishnets or these silk stockings, and rubbed them maybe across her chest and thought, "Oh these feel really nice," maybe while she was deciding what to wear, and "will I be beautiful in the red or the peach?" she's probably pretty turned-on by the time she comes to your studio.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: She could walk on her eyelashes, she so tumescent.       
       
Patti Taylor: "Tumescent" by the way, means full of erotic charge and turn-on, for those of you who haven't heard that word before.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well what we want to do though, that's good. And we want to is bring it into a manageable area so that we can start. The photography session is like a hands-off "do." And so we want to build. We don't want to start really, really high right away.          ; So we start where we start and then build it up. Then, now it's time for her to boing and really get super super turned on. That's what we do. And it's kind of fun. Usually it gets pretty heady in the studio because my assistant will go with her. And then, okay here it comes, man, here it comes, a wave of turn-on. It's very heady and very fun.  It's almost addictive.       
       
Patti Taylor: A "do" by the way, is a pleasuring session of some kind of intimate, or sexual or sensual nature. What might you do to manage the energy?  Because I'm guessing that's part of the flirting, teasing, and turn-on. So what you are saying is that you want to string it out so that it builds and peaks and comes to a crescendo in a really nice way.  It doesn't go up too fast. It goes along at just the right speed. And I'm guessing that's part of what makes this mastery and not just kind of a regular and every day experience for the woman. By the way, for anyone who hasn't seen your photographs, we will have links on your episode page. They are the most breathtakingly beautiful, awe-inspiring, take-your-breath-away photos which is evident that these women are absolutely breathtakingly turned on. How do you manage that turn-on?       
       
Lucas Hopkins:  Well actually while you were saying that, it goes the way it goes. I just have to be quick enough and sane enough to take the picture.  Sometimes it goes up fast, sometimes it goes up. But I don't manage it. I just hopefully throw a switch that says it's okay to do that here. And that's my job. A woman has come in and she wants picture of herself. You know, sometimes they say it's for their husbands, and it is, but it's also for them.        
       
Patti Hopkins: Now when you say "sane enough" I'm really glad you brought that up because we don't talk a lot about that. But very often a woman is throwing off so much turn-on that it can actually be very unstabilizing for a man. What do you do about that?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well, I've had like three woman in the room, three including my assistant, and all of the sudden they like "catch."  They share a cup of turn-on and the next thing you know, whoom, everything goes up, including my assistant. And it's been so heady I've kicked over the camera, I've walked into walls, and everything. But you just have to realize what is happening.  And you've gotta keep talking to yourself and say, "Hey it's going up, stay grounded." And most of the time I do. And there have been times when I've kicked over the camera and walked into walls. And they laugh, and they go ha, ha, ha, ha, and then they get back into place and continue.       
       
Patti Hopkins: This sort of comes at a crossroads. When we started out we were getting the picture of the man as being bold, and in control, and confident, and kind of managing the energy. And now we're also getting a picture that you're giving the woman a lot of space to kind of run with the energy.  And what are you doing to be that balance between her running with it and letting it go at the right amount. Is there a formula or is there some way that you can help it along?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well, I don't let a woman do anything. I don't have that power but what I do is I encourage. Which is what I said throw the switch, say it's okay to do that here. Now what I do is I just get the hell out the way and try to stay sane enough to take the picture because she's going to go where she's going to go. And yes, you can encourage sometimes. You can do erotic things. Like most of my assistants will, if it's for the husband, most husbands have a fantasy of a second woman. So my assistant will sit in the pictures sometimes with the woman. So we have a pretty good time, but there's no sex in the studio per se. There's a lot of erotica, but no actual sex.       
       
Patti Taylor: So what might the encouragement look like, or sound I'm guessing, for one of these sessions?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well, first off there is always an interview beforehand, a day or two or a week before the shoot. And I know that each woman that comes is going to be as turned on as she is going to be. And then, you know, number one my assistant is there, another woman is there. That's a big safe thing for both the and model and myself that there's another person there. So that makes a person, including myself, feel safe. We use a safe word, of course. It's always "raspberry."  So that if somebody says the safe word everything stops instantly. I've never heard the safe word because I feel discomfort.          ; If a woman is starting to feel uncomfortable I'll feel it right away. The picture, there is no picture there to take because she feels uncomfortable. But she is given a safe word and we honor that scrupulously. So that's how we start.       
       
Patti Taylor: I'm just looking at this picture, for example, that you gave me. And it is stunning beyond amazement.  I am absolutely, my God, just totally shivering from head to toe. It is of one woman holding up another woman in her arms who seems to have jumped into this woman's arms and they are in a passionate embrace. It looks like they are about to kiss. They're just gazing into each other eyes and they're not clothed and of course there are a lot of shadows. It looks like they are deeply in love and just passionate. How did that happen? This is just the most evocative picture imaginable. How did that happen? Did you give encouragement or did you give permission?  I don't think you could have talked about that in advance.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well these two particular women are models. They are not customers.          And over a period of time we have worked together. They are good friends. And they had only taken their relationship so far when they got to the studio. They became more intimate as a result.  It was a safe space. They had always wanted to touch and to kiss and if only just once.  And that's what happened. They got the opportunity to do that.  And the picture you see is real. This is called Prelude and it's the beginning. It's just as things are beginning to happen and that's what I wanted. That's the beginning, and they are both beautiful and they both had a wonderful experience. Again my job was stay sane, get out of their way. That's how I encourage them.       
       
Patti Taylor: Thank you we are going to take a break.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor of expandedlovemaking.com.  I'm going to give you some information about Lucas Hopkins. His website is shadowdancerphotography.com. And please stay with us.   We'll be right back.       
       
[music and commercial]       
       
Patti Taylor: And we're back and we've been talking to Lucas Hopkins about teasing and flirting. So far what we've been finding out is that it really helps to set up the encounter in advance, maybe even a week in advance which is something I think is an interesting idea.          Very often, maybe in a longer-term relationship we just have a date. But it might be a great idea to set something up a little bit in advance and make it really special. And as you were saying, let the energy go the way it wants to go and kind of get out of the way.          Again going back to some of our listeners and taking it more into the bedroom now.          How would some of what you do in erotic photography work in a more intimate environment for our listeners who might want to create some of these really hot erotic experiences in a more intimate, sensual date?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: What's the question?       
       
Patti Taylor: Do you have any tips for teasing and flirting and getting a woman hot and excited about a date in the bedroom?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Just being who you are. You're a guy and you see a woman that you'd like to make out with and you just start.  Well, guys don't start. You go up and you let her start. My forte is encouraging the start. But I don't start. If she doesn't want to start, we're not going anywhere. But usually my instinct is pretty good to know that my energy and hers is going to be okay together. That's sort of hairy-fairy stuff, but that works. It's like radar whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop-whoop, whoop-whoop, whoop-whoop. That's how I find models, too is I go by my feeling. And that's how I take pictures, is by my feelings.          ; That's how I make love to women is by feeling and by listening to my feelings and things like that. So the best pictures, the best make-outs are where everybody is giving 100 percent and just zinging each other up. You can tease. You can go up, not go over, but go up, not go over, come down a little bit, go up, not go over, come down and pretty soon it gets to be to a point where you're difference universe. You're on Tralfalmador then, and she's having a religious experience and so are you. And that's the best make-out. But that only occurs when everyone is giving 100 percent.       
       
Patti Taylor: How long did that take you to develop your own skill of  really listening to your feelings?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Let's see. It took about 62 years.       
       
Patti Taylor: And I'm gathering that it didn't involve studying a lot of books like, How to be a Pick-up Artist, or anything like that.        
       
Lucas Hopkins: No, no, no.  That's all bullshit. That doesn't happen. There are no pick-up lines. "Heaven must be sorry 'cuz you left," and stuff like that. "Is it hot in here, or it is just you?" How ridiculous. The way to do it is, number one, be bold. And you might get your face slapped but, you know what? That's a kind of make-out. Anyway, that's a little heavier pressure than you might have wanted. But when you find a woman, I just      found a really wonderful person the other day and man, we just had it. And I just sort of like subtly reminded her of her pussy.       
       
Patti Taylor: Okay. Now let me just ask you. Now this is just you, but could you just share for us a few frames from your last favorite date?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: See how excited she got just then?       
       
[laughing]       
       
Lucas Hopkins:  Well. . . it's. . . What was the question?       
       
Patti Taylor: Could you share a few favorite frames from your last date since you don't believe in any formulas? But just give us an idea of what it might look like.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well you know, it's just a lot of fun right from the get. Things just seem to proceed without "crowbarring" and everything. And you're just happy with each other. And it's very obvious because the way I feel is the way she feels. And I know when it's not right and I'll say, "Okay, thank you very much."  Or if it's really right you go, "Okay, stay grounded stay sane, you're into some fun here." And people get really crazy if they think they're going to get some fun, including me. You just have to stay sane because you want to listen to your feelings. That'll keep you sane. Yeah, like that.       
       
Patti Taylor: So when you are doing her what are you saying to her?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: It depends. It depends on her level of experience too. If it's somebody that I've never made-out with before or if it's somebody who lives up in Idaho where I live, I know that we don't want to go balls-to-the-wall. You just want to go so far where she's comfortable. You don't want her to go into panic attack because she's having way too much and she went way past enough and so did you. And the next thing you know, she bouncing off the planet again.  And not going to see you again either, because, thank you very much, it's going to take me about three years to catch up to that. So you have to stay pretty conscious. And what I'm saying is what I am feeling.  I'm listening. Like if it's a do I'm definitely keeping a very close eye on the finger that's on her clit, whichever finger it is. It's feeling how that finger feels. It's not going to feel nearly as good as the woman's clit, but if my finger feels good, so does her clit.        
       
Patti Taylor: So do you have a bunch of standard lines?  Or are you just saying whatever comes into your head and it just changes from time to time?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Exactly, I don't practice.  I say what I say. And I don't know why sometimes I say it. But generally if I'm in a flirt mode it's always the right thing to say. Some times the right thing to say is something where the woman doesn't want to proceed, you know, 'cuz she's not into that. And that's good too.  A good friend of mine said once, she said, "The really good thing about you, Lucas, and possibly the really bad thing is the same thing."  And I said, "Well what's that?" And she said, "Well, within a minute of two of talking to you, and it's not overt," she said, "But within a minute or two of talking to you a woman is thinking about her pussy."  She said about fifty percent of the women will like that and fifty percent won't. "Go with the women who like it."       
[laughing]       
       
Patti Taylor: Well I've noticed that too. And I like it. But why do you think that is?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Why do I think what is?        
       
Patti Taylor: Why is that? That women are thinking about their pussy when they're around you?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well, it's the way I am.  It's what I say, ya know?        
       
Patti Taylor: And what do you say?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: I don't know. With you it would be different than somebody else.         You know, I could say "gush" and we're there. [laughing]       
       
Patti Taylor: Well is it your intention?  Is it that you put more attention on me?  Is it your intention to show me a good time?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well, duh?  [laughing] No, I want you to have a bad time. [laughing] Here's your sign.[laughing] No, my goal is always to make sure that a woman has a good time because it's a good time for me. Where ever she goes I go. So the more fun she has the more fun I do.       
       
Patti Taylor: So, what I'm getting and, I'm actually loving what you have to say.          Absolutely loving because what you are saying is throw out the books and put your attention on the woman. And put your attention on you feelings and stay so present on what she wants. And stay connected and in your own body and really listen.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well yeah. That's a good idea. That's a very key thing.  You put your attention on her. And you get as close to now as you possibly can. Some people can't get any closer than like Newark, New Jersey, you know, but that's okay. You get  as close as you can to the now of the situation because if you get into the now with another person it gets pretty intimate.  You get to know that person a lot quicker in a ten minute talk that you're really talking to that person. You learn more in ten minutes than you do just chatting with some other person.       
       
Patti Taylor: Well let me just say, do you every talk about fantasies when you're flirting with a woman?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well if we get there sure. That's just under the overall umbrella of pillow talk. And pillow talk is my strong suit.       
       
Patti Taylor: Okay, what's pillow talk? Can you do pillow talk with me?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well sure you know, it's like I noticed your nipples are really, really extended and I think, "Boy, what are they going to feel like with my tongue rolling around?"  But that's just with you, Patti.  Somebody else it might be, "God, I love the way you're dressed.  It's just so beautiful."  That could be a lady that I'm meeting for the first time. It's all, have the attention on the woman and you'll go for a great ride. You got to take your attention off your dick.       
       
Patti Taylor: Right. And I have to say Lucas and I do have a previously existing relationship that goes back many years, so that's appropriate in this context. How about in the middle of a date where you are going higher and higher.  What might pillow talk look like?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Well if I could digress to the studio. I had a lady come in and she wanted a portfolio of her for her husband. And I said sure. And we went through our normal repetoire of thing that we can and will do in the studio. There are things of course we are not going to, do like intercourse or anything like that. But some times a lady wants to get off. She wants to cum and have a cum shot in which time she does herself. And I noticed my assistant always stands as close in that stream of energy as she can. I remember one time this really sweet person, she wanted the whole schmegege. So we got to the cum shot and she was doing herself, but she goes, "I just can't get off."  So I said to my assistant, "here take the picture when I tell you to."  I just walked over to her and I said, "Eileen," not her real name, "Eileen, you're lying there," and I was whispering in her ear,       "You're lying here with your legs spread in front of two complete strangers and you’re rubbing on your pussy."  Well, it didn't take much longer. She went over the top and I said, "Take the picture! Take the picture!"       
[laughing]       
       
Patti Taylor: And did she get off?       
       
Lucas Hopkins: She gangbustered over the top. She got off. That’s all it took was a little erotic nudge.        
       
Patti Taylor: Wow. Oh I love that. Well this sounds like the kind of job that everybody would love to have.  But I’m also think that it sounds like a really great experience that a woman would like to do for her partner just to revive her erotic energy or it might be something that after that or in addition to that, that couples do as a great experience just to experience something outside of their normal routine, as a way to experience flirting and teasing and playing.       
       
Lucas Hopkins: Yup. I'm your Huckleberry. That's what we do.  We create a safe space, and then they create what they want to create in that space.  And that's all I do, I create the space.  I'm a stage manager.  I make sure, if there are things that I can do, I'll do them so that they have a great experience. And, oh yeah, we got some pictures too.  But that’s what it’s about.  With as little turn-on in the world today, a little erotic experience that’s a little bit different.  It’s a little bit different down here, it’s really different for Idaho.  Folks have a really good time in the studio and they are safe. Nobody gets crazy or anything like that.   
       
Patti Taylor: Well I have to share that I love having erotic photos of myself taken.  Just getting dressed up and going into and little bit of fantasy, and looking beautiful for my partner. . .

Lucas Hopkins: . . . or whoever. . .

Patti Taylor: . . . or whoever, it’s a real turn on. I don't get to go to as many glamour balls, or erotic parties, or intimate events that I would like to. And I'm not on the cover of Playboy as many times as I would like to. And I like to shop for lingerie and I like to be beautiful, and I’d like to be a Vargas girl.  And hey, if I can do it for my partner, and if I'm getting photographed that really turns me on. And to do it for a camera really turns me on.  And to do it for someone I don’t know, and like you said, it’s totally safe,  and whose a master I mean God, what an exciting experience that would be. You can just see the turn on just exuding out of them.       

Lucas Hopkins: Yeah, it's a lot of fun.       

Patti Taylor: Yeah, I can see that. Well we are going to pause, and take another break. This is Dr. Patti Taylor and we’re talking with Lucas Hopkins of shadowdancerphotography.com. We will have links up on our episode page so you can check out some of his absolutely must-be-seen photographs.   I encourage everybody to go it’s not only just the intimate photographs.  He does conceptual art, black and white stuff,  it’s so beautiful. But absolutely have to check out the intimate stuff.  So please stay with us. We'll be right back.       

[music and advertisement]       

Patti Taylor: We're back and this is Dr. Patti Taylor. And we're talking with Lucas Hopkins.  So, back to turning her on and stringing her out.  Now I know you said you just go with the feeling. I still have some questions. Do you believe in giving a woman a surprise or keeping her in any kind of mystery as part of your repetoire?       

Lucas Hopkins: Well, mystery relates to teasing, and the difference between teasing and torture is there’s get off at the end with teasing.       

Patti Taylor: [laughing] So, I guess that sounds like you're not a big fan of it.       

Lucas Hopkins: Oh, I'm a big fan of whatever she wants.  That’s what I do, give a lady what she wants--and a little more.       

Patti Taylor: So when someone says, “Oh please don't tease me, please don't tease me,” is she really begging to be teased?       

Lucas Hopkins: Well maybe, maybe not. It's that's part of the job. What do your feelings say? Did you feelings say when she said please don’t Tease me that really did mean tease me to death or not. You have to go with your feelings.       

Patti Taylor: Yeah, really true.  I was having this conversation the other day. Sometimes I really want to be teased and it is very hard just to ask some one to tease me. On the other hand I had people ask me I want to tease you how do I tease you.  And my head thinks, well if I have to tell you how to tease me then that doesn't really count. You kind of have to just surprise me a little.  I can't tickle myself.  So if I have to tell you that really doesn't count. So what do women do who want to be teased How do we women teach a guy who is nt a really good teaser, our partner give us a little? How do we get them to give us a little teasing action or flirting action?        

Lucas Hopkins: Well, tell them last week and then you forget that you told them. But he's not going to know.   If you make me guess what you want I’m going to be right about 50 percent of the time.  If you tell me what you want I’m going to be right 100 percent of the time and you can even fool yourself and pretend you didn't ask for it.  You gotta tell the guy, you partner what you want.  Because otherwise he is  poking around in the dark looking for clues at the scene of the crime. You know what I am saying? Communication, hello?       

Patti Taylor: Well, I love what you said, teasing but in the future, but of course the guy is going to say, “Well I don’t know. I’m not bold.” How do you tell them without having them lose behind it and running out the bookstore.       

Lucas Hopkins: You learn how to do it anyway you can. You go to Moore University and take some classes. That worked for me for fifteen years. Or what you can do is talk to Patti here and she'll tell you.  It’s communication, and yeah, sometimes you’ve gotta ask, and how else are you going to find out. I know some things, but the only thing I know if that I don't know very much.  So anytime I make out with a new lady I have to learn about her body.        

Patti Taylor: Well I would definitely check with a women before I would do that in advance, I wouldn’t advocate anyone doing that in advance       

Lucas Hopkins: Well that's what I said. I didn't do it in advance.  I just had the feeling and talked to her about it and communication word. But pillow talk and things like that.  That's always good and whatever you both, and if you’re with a partner, you know what your partner finds erotic.  And you can go there. It’s a learning process the best make-out is not necessarily the first.       

Patti Taylor: I just want to pick up on something you said. I really love what you said about throw away the books and don't go running to the bookstore and picking up on someone else’s canned dialogue.  I did recently have someone who is an intimate partner of mine say I want to tease you better. What do I do? I want a lesson on it and half an hour and practice it.  And I said here's what I have to say to you, you actually know how to tease me. And I am not going to give you any lines.  Because that's going to be inauthentic. You actually know if you would just relax enough and play with me. Have fun.  Just let go of the idea that you don't know and just really start feeling me and playing with me, and actually just getting into it, then it would flow out.  And he would put up a lot of resistance, I can’t do it, I don't know. And so we had the date and he felt so different from the moment he touched me there was so much more energy.  I could feel the power from the moment we started.  I felt power confidence boldness and he was like, Oh Baby, you feel really, really good.  And I was laughing and teasing back with him.  He was coming from an entirely different place and it was him and authentic and going inside with what you have to say.        

Lucas Hopkins: Was there are question in there?       

Patti Taylor: You just asked me what I thought. So I wanted to acknowledge.       

Lucas Hopkins: Right on. I have to tell you. We should put a little a disclaimer here.  I can see a bunch of guys running out to bars going, “Hey baby I love your pussy. Boldness is not saying the stupidest thing that pops into your mind.  Boldness is being a man in front of a women.  That concept, wanting her enough and thinking this is very cool. And then have fun.  Have fun with it.  The ideal flirt takes a woman up to a point where it's like going up on top of the mountain and the winds blowing in her hair and man this is a hell of a flirt going on.  And then you say lets lean over and look over and gulf of possibility. And yeah then you run home and tear each other's clothes off.       

Patti Taylor: I love that.  So boldness is having enough attention on her to really notice everything about her and not just spilling it all out. 

Lucas Hopkins: Right.  Putting your attention on that person. Now it doesn't have to be a man and a woman. It can be anything. It could be any combination.  I've flirted with men.          I've seen women flirt with women.  It's just a lot of fun. It's invitation to the dance.  And sometimes it is the dance and that's as far as you go.  But have fun all the way. Enjoy it. The goal is, for me, it may not be for everybody, but for me is that as soon as possible she is thinking about her pussy. And getting wet is a really benefit. If she’s getting wet, you’re really doing good.  But you don't know.  You can only feel that the energy is going up and that you are really doing good.    She's having fun and you’re having fun, and her girlfriends are really pissed because she is having fun and they are not. And stuff like that.  It's a dance. It's a play. It's actors on a stage. Having a good time.       

Patti Taylor: Wow.  That's really beautiful. We’re almost out of time, but I am going to ask you one more question. What do you think it would be like if we live in a way more turn-on world?       

Lucas Hopkins: But we don't.  It's like that book, women are from Venus, and men are from Mars.  No man, women are from earth men are from earth, deal with it.  You got what you got. And every time someone gets off the world is better we are all connected. I call that fighting he darkness. Cuming holds back the darkness because cuming is the light. And in the Bible make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Well what better noise could you make but cuming? It has to please the ears. It does mine.       

Patti Taylor: Does mine too and smiles and energy filling the room. So with that      beautiful sentiment close the show.  I want to thank you for and sharing your thoughts, your energy with everyone here.       

Patti Taylor: This does bring us to the end of our show, so thank you for listening.  Please send me email at [email protected] For text and transcripts of this show and other shows on the Personal Life Network, please visit our website at www.personllifemedia.com.  This is Dr. Patti Taylor and that’s all for now.  I remain yours in ever Expanding Lovemaking. And I'll see you next week. Bye for now.

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