Episode 71: FULL BODY BLISS WITH TENDER LOVING TOUCH: THE PLAY NOT JUST FOREPLAY with Juliet Carr
FULL BODY BLISS WITH TENDER LOVING TOUCH: THE PLAY NOT JUST FOREPLAY with Juliet Carr, eternally juicy & vital 70 year old, certified massage therapist, world-wide adult film star in the 80's, erotic pioneer, founder and practitioner of Tender Loving Touch.
In this episode, Juliet delightfully exposes simple steps to create full body bliss, boost the immune system, and heal the planet (one person at a time.) Learn what has desire be ageless and eternal. Discover and use your whole body as a sensual toy. Prepare and create an agreement that supports total relaxation and surrender.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome to Sex - Tantra and Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex. I’m your host, Francesca Gentille. And with me today is the fabulous Juliet Carr. Juliet is a certified massage therapist, the creator and founder of Tender Loving Touch, a woman who has healed herself from a life threatening illness, an erotic pioneer and a worldwide adult film star and educator in the 70’s and 80’s. Welcome Juliet.
Juliet Carr: Wow! That was something, thank you.
Francesca Gentille: Well, you know, you are something, girl, you really are.
Juliet Carr: [xx] put that way, my goodness! You know, I mean, I’m blushing.
Francesca Gentille: You know, I met you dancing and you wear this radiant light with just this beautiful figure and when I saw that you were, you know, in your 70’s, I was completely shocked because your vitality and sensuality is young and just juicy.
Juliet Carr: Thank you. Even though, I’m amazed, I mean, wait a minute, when I grew up, over 40 was considered one foot in the grave, but hey, I’ve been blessed and I’m just out there sharing it.
Francesca Gentille: And I wanted to invite you to speak with us today because this vibrancy that you’ve created in your life is something that I want all of our listening audience to be able to partake it, personally if they’re in the bay areas so that they can find you, but also to get a little snippet of you by listening on this show. And Juliet, could you say a little bit about -- first, maybe your journey of healing and coming into vitality and what that’s been like for you.
Juliet Carr: OK. Briefly, I was told that I have chromes disease when I survived the first and fortunately, the only surgery I had when I was 16, and I had 17, 18 inches of my small intestine removed and before I awoke, and still under anesthesia, I heard the doctor say to may parents, “Well, she survived this one, but don’t get your hopes up. She probably won’t live to be 20.” And at that time, I thought, well, I’m going to show them, I am going to do everything I can to not only live, but live well. And but, if in fact I am not going to live a long time, it would not be fair to have a husband and children even though I had a wonderful role model, which is my parents and I love -- I mean, I love, like men and children and all of that, I thought it just wouldn’t be fair to leave the husband and kids if I die young. So, I became some bunch of other things and I don’t know how much you want me to tell you.
Francesca Gentille: What I love, Juliet, is that you took something that in many cases, people who had become a victim of and they would just lose hope and what I hear in your story is that you said if I’m going to -- however I’m going to – long -- I’m going to live and I intend to live well.
Juliet Carr: Live well.
Francesca Gentille: I’m going to live well, I’m going to live richly, I’m going to live to the fullest of my ability and I just invite all of our listening audience, I know some of them are going through hard times right now. If you take that beautiful perspective of I’m not going to let myself be put down under whatever life has given me, whether it’s, you know, a job loss or an illness or a relationship challenge that there is always an opportunity to really turn it around and make our lives something amazing.
Juliet Carr: Yes, you hit the nail on the head and they -- let me just briefly add here. I had an opportunity right after I graduated from college and I went to college and got straight A’s in arts. How do you like that? To go to Japan, to move to Japan because the great love of mine, the one great -- I had several great loves, but he was the first great love. He was in the -- American military there and he invited me and I thought, “Why not!” And I can look at the art. And so, we went over there -- I went over there and we got married and we agreed not to stay married a long time because both of us though, well, we want this relationship to last a long time and we’re not the marrying type. So, here we are, after all these years, we’re still friends. And that was the beginning of my world travels, living in countries, not just traveling as a tourist and the way I’ve always supported myself, except in Finland, was teaching conversational American English fluent -- people who learn English, they learn British English in Europe, especially. When they -- just with the United States, they know how to, you know, talk with people out on the street. And then, and another time I’ll tell you what I did in Finland, but go ahead, Francesca.
Francesca Gentille: Yes. Well, thank you. This creativity, this ability to say where am I and what I’m going to do with the naked word, naked vibrant and I just see there’s so much in you, you get to the bay area and meet Juliet, she’s just an incredible delight, and so somewhere along this -- here you are, traveling the world, teaching American English saying, you know, the hood of your car versus the bondage, et cetera, et cetera.
Juliet Carr: I know.
Francesca Gentille: Now, when did you start to develop these gifts that you have and this program that you have, for Tender Loving Touch. How did that shift?
Juliet Carr: OK, this current one, oh good. Oh, by the way, the other thing that has really helped me, again, everything comes from my parents, you know, they have, I mean, my good genes and then I have taken good care of myself and my sense of humor and my attitude about sex and all of, you know, OK. So, I’m sorry, what was the question?
Francesca Gentille: The question was, becoming this erotic pioneer, becoming this -- the founder of Tender Loving Touch.
Juliet Carr: Yes. And I just thought [xx] the sense of humor, you know, it’s like, OK, that goes back to when I was suffering badly from the chromes disease and in fact I had home schooling, I couldn’t even attend high school, which made a real reclusive, and I was in a lot of pain and I just -- there’s nothing they could give me to take me out of extreme pain and I found out later I’m allergic to aspirin and, you know, and so, I started doing this light touching on myself, my arm. It’s not sexual, it’s -- well, it is in that -- our skin is our largest sexual organ. But it’s the inner part of arms, from the elbow, all the way down to under the arms and then down the side and then up the centre for women, you know, in between the breast and then up the neck and then I taught my parents and my sister how to do it for me on my back. And during that time, I was totally out of pain and it wasn’t until just a few years ago when I researched the association -- I really did some thorough research in libraries and so forth. The association between touch and health are that -- I found out that orgasms -- you can have orgasms, not genital orgasms and they boost the immune system and chromes disease is an autoimmune disease. Well, hello! I started helping myself get better and here I am, 70 years old and I still have it. You never get cured, but it’s just -- I mean, and knowing this kind of touch, even though I’m a wonderful certified therapeutic massage, you know, practitioner, share if you have a gift of touch and there’s no point in having if you can’t share it with people.
Francesca Gentille: This is so beautiful and I want to talk more about how we give this gift of the type of touch that boost the immune system. So many people have various autoimmune diseases today.
Juliet Carr: No!
Francesca Gentille: Multiple sclerosis or, you know, herpes or you know, just anything, the chronic fatigue and then we can help heal each other, I think it’s kind of the diseases of our decade, and when we come back from a break and a word from our sponsors, we’ll talk more about how our listening audience can bring this into their life.
Juliet Carr: Let me say one thing before I forget, when you get my [xx] back. You have to first of all find out if what you’ve been diagnosed with is an autoimmune disease. And you get from a couple of doctors if they say, oh yes, that’s considered an autoimmune disease.
Francesca Gentille: All right. We’ll be back in just a moment with more of Juliet.
*** BREAK ***
Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex with a fabulous Juliet Carr, erotic pioneer worldwide adult film star in the ‘70s and the founder and creator or Tender Loving Touch: The Play. And we were just talking about how we bring this gentle touching into our life, help boost our immune systems, feel better and it’s just a very particular touch, it’s not just our hand. What makes Tender Loving Touch so unique?
Juliet Carr: Let me -- let me paraphrases by saying Tender Loving Touch: The Play Not Just Foreplay because you know we touched for foreplay but this is a special kind of touching were you agree or no intercourse or general to play ahead of time. So, what -- what did you just -- you just now asked me?
Francesca Gentille: When we think of ---
Juliet Carr: OK.
Francesca Gentille: --- often think the hand ---
Juliet Carr: Your whole body, right.
Francesca Gentille: --- this is -- yeah, this is different.
Juliet Carr: Very different. Now, you used your entire body very slowly and very gently. And it’s fine to use the bedroom if you have a nice thick bed and -- you know, ahead of time, well you agree that you’re not going to do anything else even if you get turned on so both people can relax. And you just like crawl all over this person and I have to show you what I mean, yeah just talk about helping to make a DVD of it because then you’ll say oh, yeah and I do have to say that. The, you know heterosexual relationship, the men -- the men do make out a little better than the women because the women can use their breath and that feeling of the weight of the breath and hard nipple is -- a hard nipple is really marvelous because I -- I’m not gay or anything but I have felt that and it is divine.
Francesca Gentille: So, if this Tender Loving Touch, we maybe lying next to each other or I might be if I am the one that’s giving the touch I might be on top and I might be dragging me breast gently across their ---
Juliet Carr: Exactly.
Francesca Gentille: --- back or chest.
Juliet Carr: Exactly.
Francesca Gentille: And then I might be, you know just kind of waggling my whole body like a snake ---
Juliet Carr: Exactly ---
Francesca Gentille: --- and sort of back and forth.
Juliet Carr: --- usually your whole body up and down with very slow music from side to side and you’re on your knees, in your back and then you get between the legs and you go all the way up and then you also that’s the front part and then you go to the other -- I mean, then you go the other side of the body and you use your arms and hands and legs and (um-hmm) and then you go up and you lie next to the person and (uh) ---
Francesca Gentille: It sounds do wonderful in male or female one of the things that we can bring in is our hair. I have often found even if the hair is very short some men have short hair but it’s very, very soft and I’ll ---
Juliet Carr: Oh yeah.
Francesca Gentille: --- I’ll say to my beloved will you flush me and what I mean by flushing ---
Juliet Carr: Yeah.
Francesca Gentille: --- it’s almost like their hair -- their head or their hair is a power puff and it’s -- and it’s being dragged ---
Juliet Carr: Yeah.
Francesca Gentille: --- to all over my body and it jingles ---
Juliet Carr: Exactly.
Francesca Gentille: --- that just feel so wonderful, so I hear Tender Loving Touch is this, imagine a chest creative way, what -- what parts of my body including my hands they’re not just my hands, can I use is so erotic.
Juliet Carr: Let me -- let me just say here this is free. The giver prepares by having a clean body and hair, shaving hair stubble on face, legs, etc., clipping and filing fingernails, keep some nails because you want to do you know under the arms and this is -- that you know inside of the arm. Having smooth hands, fresh breath, removing jewelry and I don’t mean to be rude here but also peeing so that you, you know so that you don’t have to get up and stop this wonderful communication you have. And men should wear close-fitting brief, now that make sense?
Francesca Gentille: It does because it helps us focus on that it’s not going to be leading up to intercourse, this time, you know could be later in the day ---
Juliet Carr: Exactly.
Francesca Gentille: --- you have intercourse ---
Juliet Carr: Yeah, exactly.
Francesca Gentille: --- it could be [xx] ---
Juliet Carr: Right.
Francesca Gentille: --- but right at this time when we’re exploring the Tender Loving Touch: The Play Not Just Foreplay.
Juliet Carr: Yeah, and it’s a restful or ceremony something look forward to, you know, and but you know you can do this for the moment but it’s something that, you know you just (uh) it feels so good for both people.
Francesca Gentille: And you know this, what I’m hearing is that especially when we’re first learning this, we want to have it be distinct so that we’re not rushing to something else.
Juliet Carr: I got it.
Francesca Gentille: We’re able to totally relax ---
Juliet Carr: Exactly.
Francesca Gentille: --- into this and receive, for some of us it’s actually very hard to receive.
Juliet Carr: Oh, I mean I always tell them -- I always tell my clients OK the hardest part here is going to be to turn off your busy mind and focus, just on what your feeling not trying to figure out what I’m going to do next or what you’re going to do next or what you’re doing this evening or tomorrow or any of that. And I -- and I also, it’s -- it’s important to have a client and some slow music helps too. Absolutely, you know, there’s a bunch of lot of things that you can do, if you’re interested I can tell you.
Francesca Gentille: I do want to know some of these other things. After break and a word from our sponsors ---
Juliet Carr: Yeah.
Francesca Gentille: --- I want at least extra time at the end, so we’ll have a quick break now and then have more at the end if there’s some of those other things that we can do with our body and our -- and our energy and our catch when we come back from a break and a word from our sponsors.
Listen to a Taste of Sex: Life in an Orgasm Based Community, a weekly online audio program where orgasmic innovators share the intricacies of their practice on PersonalLifeMedia.com.
Francesca Gentille: Welcome back to Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra, bringing you the soul of sex, we’re talking with Juliet Carr about Tender Loving Touch and also her fascinating life and career. And Juliet before we go back into the more of Tender Loving Touch, I wanted to touch on your film career. And was there anything that you really learned in your years of the -- of being in that the adult film industry that you feel it would be important for our listening audience to know?
Juliet Carr: Yes, I didn’t -- when I returned to this country I didn’t even know the industry existed but I -- I went into it with, you know open -- without any judgment and thought (umm) I wonder when I’m going to learning this, I mean from day one. And I very quickly -- I was only, I was almost 40 years old, OK. I very quickly found out what it was, I dispel the myth that women cannot be sexy, intelligent and funny when they get older. I mean [xx] where all these young women and I was even told when I was hired, don’t tell Mr. Derenzy how old you are because you are considered too old but I really dispel that myth and I gone on with that that you -- it’s an attitude, really where there, you know about being and what does sex being sexy, sensual, erotic, being it’s different for each person and you need to find a common dialogue, so that’s what I’m proud about. And I was only in it for, who know, I can’t remember now, five, six years and they still remembering me, and then there is one more thing I want to add I forgot Francesca. In 1998, I produced and directed and appeared in one of the segment of a video, which is now DVD and it’s still selling called Ageless Desire: Great Sex For Couple Over 50 and can you imagine it’s still selling. And I also want to make volume two, it was real couples, it’s not pretend.
Francesca Gentille: Thank you, thank you.
Juliet Carr: And what I mean ---
Francesca Gentille: Thank you so much.
Juliet Carr: --- I’m still erotic pioneer.
Francesca Gentille: You still are, absolutely I can say that now you’re a person. And that -- that’s such a wonderful gift that we need to embrace in our culture that we can age and be sexy and vital.
Juliet Carr: And you’re doing it too, yeah, I mean what I picked up from you right away or believe me I would not be doing this with you if I wasn’t impressed with your energy and then to find out more about you what you’re doing and oh my god, look at this woman. We have more in common and we don’t.
Francesca Gentille: Very, very true and I -- I find it you can tell the women and the men in the room and, you know especially I feel sometimes the women in the room who have kept this erotic sparks alive, they’re such a sense of beauty and vitality regardless of their age. When a woman embraces -- this part of ourselves that her own sexuality as healing as essential as fun, you can tell immediately and ---
Juliet Carr: They are the only person by the way. And so attending -- gathering that I go to that ever has done that but I can remember, I was like wow! Because the people who were in it don’t know a thing about my film career, and -- another people don’t ---
Francesca Gentille: [xx] you know?
Juliet Carr: Well, I don’t know, what you would say, or may not.
Francesca Gentille: And I wanted to get back to with the few minutes that we have left, more about the Tender Loving Touch because one of those aspects of erotic vitality that so delicious is that it’s bigger than the genital, it includes the genital absolutely, we want to celebrate our genitals they’re -- they’re delicious.
Juliet Carr: They’re wonderful, thank God we have them. But our skin is our largest sexual organ and it’s been -- doctors have said that. Think of it that way. Most people don’t, do they?
Francesca Gentille: They don’t. We forget especially in our country that’s based on a puritan ethic, we forget how important touch is, how studies have been done on how crucial touch is for health and longevity. So we were talking about using the whole body. We were talking about using hands and hair and buttocks and breasts and legs and chest and ---
Juliet Carr: And it’s really important for men to shave the stubble, oh my god, you can ruin everything if you don’t. Or a women, if they shave their legs, be sure you have your legs shaved, I mean, you know between the knee and foot.
Francesca Gentille: And, the exception of course might be for our, you know BDSM lovers who might love that extra rough experience but for most people, it’s going to be much nicer to have this ---
Juliet Carr: And the same thing, men are of course they’re going to get hard on, that’s why wearing you know, the tight -- the close fitting brief just makes it so much nicer and easier.
Francesca Gentille: One of my friends called an erection the gallant response that when a man is in front of a beautiful woman, and he finds delicious and he gets an erection or he’s being touched and he gets an erection that is of course the gallant response. And there is -- and yes, we can breathe that energy and male and female, we can appreciate the erection as a beautiful thing and then, we don’t have to necessarily just focus on it because it’s there. Sometimes there is a myth in our culture the minute the erection is there, then all the attention has to go there and we forget the rest of the sex organ that is the body.
Juliet Carr: Opinions of what’s beautiful, you said have been looking at a beautiful woman. Well, women, I mean, they may not all be beautiful but in the eyes of the beholder, they may be beautiful, they have a nice smile and all of that sort of thing. And let’s not forget also women and men’s sexuality is different. So, if they have a woman who is willing, they look past a lot of things. I mean, now, I’m talking about genital sex. They look past a lot of things because they are horny and that’s, you know, let’s talk to them, hello, you know, this tender loving touch is, of course you’re going to get horny, of course you’re going to get an erection but are you willing to just let that be and let’s make this a ritual and ceremony and we’ll do that at another time and just have -- it’s important to have that agreement.
Francesca Gentille: And be able to stoke the fires of a woman and often a woman, often not always can be a slower burn and need a slower burn to really reach the depth of her passion. So you’re going to mention some more in those few minutes we left what other tips do you want to give us about these tender loving touch sessions that we would create with our beloved?
Juliet Carr: Something that is very obvious but here it is. Before starting, you have to get an agreement ahead of time, you know, and if you do it the night before then, check the morning when you decide to do it. And it’s really important that the person who’s giving is not tired, OK. Lock the doors, feed your pets, turn off your cell phone ringers or home phone, have the kids elsewhere, the lights low, pillows, foam booster or towels to roll up for the back, neck and leg support if you’re lying on your bed you know, a nice big foam, piece of foam on the living room. Have tissues handy, you know, for a leakage or whatever might happen. Two glasses of room temperature water with a straw for the receiver, relaxing music, and, by the way, you probably know none of this, rosemary to clear the sinuses and other scents if desired. And as I said you can’t do it in the bedroom but if you have another place and you can spread out, you get to do more than if you’re on a massage table even though having a massage table is wonderful for other things. So, basically, that’s what it is. And begin with a hug, look into each other’s eyes with smile, and the receiver can either start face up or face down. The giver places one of his or her hands on the receivers head and the other on his or her abdomen and both takes three deep breath in unison and you end with doing the same thing putting your hands the same way. And then cuddle or spoon of there is enough room and then I have here underlined no dialogue. Say, your finger, come here, I want to cuddle and you just cuddle or spoon. That’s a nice way to spend a Saturday, part of a Saturday after a hard week.
Francesca Gentille: And, how long should we set aside for creating something like this? An hour, a couple of hours, what are you thinking?
Juliet Carr: Well, you can do it less. You can definitely do a great session in half hour. But if you have an hour, that’s wonderful. And you’ll learn what your pace is. It might be that it just takes a little while to completely slow down, you know, I’ve learned how to do it because I mean, I do it professionally but, you know, between a half hour and an hour.
Francesca Gentille: So at least half an hour and that’s about what we have and we’re just about up, we went through it, you did that beautifully and how would people get a hold of you to get more information, to learn about your hopefully upcoming DVD tape sessions with you. How would they reach you Juliet?
Juliet Carr: OK. I’m supposed to have my website up, the Juliet Anderson website. I had it for years and then I just recently have some, you know, problems with whatever it is, I’m just not a computer person. But the provider or whatever the person who puts my site up and have it running. So, just what you want to do is Google Juliet Anderson, J-U-L-I-E-T Anderson and you’ll have 20,000 things, pictures and everything of that woman out there. It’s pretty amazing considering I only did it for five years. But the website will, if you can remember this, its www.auntpeg.com.
Francesca Gentille: And can they reach you by phone or e-mail?
Juliet Carr: It says in there that please don’t e-mail me or phone me, send me a letter and let me know what’s going on. I’ll call you back and then we’ll take it from there.
Francesca Gentille: Perfect.
Juliet Carr: It’s all because I get -- I don’t want to get hundreds of calls.
Francesca Gentille: Yes, yes.
Juliet Carr: I have regular clients, I have family who calls me, I have neighbors and I do screen my calls.
Francesca Gentille: At 70, you’re reaching a full -- you’re living a full rich life. I just want to thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule ---
Juliet Carr: Sure, no I was happy.
Francesca Gentille: --- to share your heart and being with us.
Juliet Carr: Well, you’re doing a good job too. You’re doing good work there Francesca and I’m glad we live in the same area.
Francesca Gentille: Me too. And I want to thank our listening audience who listens to Sex: Tantra and Kamasutra bringing you the soul of sex. And you can find out more about Juliet, see her picture, her bio, more about me and the work that I do and the sessions I offer at www.personallifemedia.com. That’s www.personallifemedia.com. Sex: Tantra and Kamasutra bringing you the soul of sex.