Episode 20: Under Water

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In this podcast of A Taste of Sex:Erotic Poetry Readings, host Robert Kandell introduces us to six explorations of highly charged erotic and emotional experiences.

In “Under Water,” Yia describes watching her lover make out with someone else.  Unsure whether he knows that she is there, she silently argues with herself and with him. She finds that, in such a state, the darkness behind the curtain can paralyze breathing and that the passage to equanimity is an arduous voyage.

In the second segment, Will introduces us to what it is like to be a slave in erotic play space. At his mistress’s order, he takes his pants off and sits at her feet. When she places a sword against his throat Will finds himself pushing against some of his most sensitive edges. 

Alisha takes center stage in “Last Sunday Night.”  Being summoned to her beloved’s residence, she experiences the near-paralyzing excitement of being mastered exquisitely.  She recreates for us the experience of hearing from the other room her beloved’s unseen but powerful command, of submitting to the collar, then the blindfold and finally the riding crop for which she had secretly yearned, hours of abandon and final gesture of recognition. 

The fourth episode, “Heat,” explores jealousy from the male perspective. Bob vibrates inwardly, knowing that his partner is making out with a woman.  His emotions swing from doubt, to turn-on, to pain, tenderness, humiliation and heat.

In her contribution, “August 18th,” Harmony recounts thrilling moments in the unisex bathroom of one of San Francisco’s statelier restaurants. She revels in her freedom and in the sensuousness of feeling her face pressed to the cold porcelain of the sink. Her sensations overwhelm her ability to think or even catch her breath, until in the final moments of their adventure when she is galvanized into falling to her knees.

The final episode recounts a sensuous reconciliation.  The narrative carries us from nervous estrangement, through the settling of bodies in the bed, the slow, tentative movement toward connection, to the finale of the intense pleasure in reconciliation.

Transcript

Woman: This program, brought to you by PersonalLifeMedia.com, is suitable for mature audiences only and may contain explicit sexual information.

[musical interlude]

Marcie Prohofsky:  Welcome to “A Taste of Sex: Erotic Poetry Reading”. My name is Marcie Prohofsky and I'm your host. Today’s show--although hosted by Rob Kendall because I was on a holiday--was recorded live at One Taste in San Francisco, a retreat center where you can explore true connection including one to your sex and to your sensuality. You'll be hearing prose and poetry from people who are totally willing to share their intimate experiences with you, anticipate turn on and inspiration.

Rob Kendall: So my name is Rob Kendall and I'm standing in for the lovely Marcie Prohofsky here at “Erotic Poetry Night” and “Letters to our Pussys” sponsored by One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco as part of the Personal Life Media global conglomerate. It reaches out through the Internet airwaves to discuss many fun shows on green living and music and relationships and extended lovemaking and check it all out at PersonalLifeMedia.com.

Here at One Taste, we have many programs. It's run by a group of individuals all interested in researching sensuality, researching their relationships and researching where they hide and what they want and asking for what they want and being scared and going “Oh, I don’t want that.” But you want that. “I don’t want that.”  But you do want that. That’s all what we do here at One Taste.

[musical interlude]

Harmony: I want him to destroy me. I want him to split me open. I want to feel myself, lose myself in this darkness. I feel like I'm falling. I want it harder and I get off the sink and lean forward over it, hands on their beautiful gilded mirror, my eyes look glassy and veiled on its hazy surface.

Rob Kendall: First on the list is the lovely Yia who’s been reading a piece called “Underwater” which is all about the sensation of feeling a loved one making out with someone else.

Yia: Thank you, Rob.

I walked into the loft and make my way over to my bed. I pass the bed to my right and a thick, warm cocoon gushes over me. “Is that?” his moan comes out in snippets of pleasure, “Yes, it is.” The hungry, liquid air in the room seeps in through my pores and ignites tiny sparks in my chest like the sparks of two thin [sp] rocks pounding against each other. My stomach twists into knots. Each shallow breath I take adds fuel to the fire in my chest and burns down to my stomach. Breathe.

I fumble with my keys on the night stand, my eyes focused through the blanket of lust around me, my fingers are stiff like age-old tin. Does he know I'm a few steps away? His moans grow louder and I swear he's doing it on purpose to make me jealous. My mind spins and argues, annoyance creeps in. Should I stay or should I go?

I tread my way back out to the bathroom. I'm on dry land, taking in deep breaths. I walk up to his bed to confirm my sleepover with her, “I need my pillow.” I walked back downstairs and stand in front of the entryway, that darkness behind the curtains waits silently. I take in a deep breath and plunge back into the thick molasses of their passion. The heavy pressure of their raw desire pushes up against my chest, my breath comes out shallow. The skin on my body feels thick and humid. His moans screams and my blood streams. Is he fucking her? My ears perk up to catch the evidence. No sounds of bodies slapping against each other. This is ridiculous. Breathe. I grab my pillow and tread my way back out to dry land. Thank you.

[applause]

Rob Kendall: Next up is Will who’ll be reading a unique piece called “All In” which is all about how I got to be a slave.

Will: I came up around the discussion regarding play and holding back and training and I desire to be trained in the solstice of play. Chris and Alisha were teaching and Chris asked Rob to obtain the form. The form was delivered to me like contract between master and submissive. Well, I don’t know about this. A half hour later, unbeknownst to my teachers, I had signed the form. The familiar sensation of heat flashed over my shoulders and sides of my face. The air seems thin feeling my breath coming shallow. I've placed both their names in the field for master.

When Chris asked me once again if I had signed, I answered, “Yes.” There were surprise in their eyes, I had caught Chris’ hand and I was asked if I understood the significance of what I just signed. I said “Yes”, fear buzzing around my head, poker faced, dizzy. The teachers accepted the contract. I received my first instructions. My torso already bare for a students’ previous play, Alisha commanded me to take my pants off and to sit at her feet.

My mind flashed on the fact that I don’t wear underwear! I was committed to the play. I undressed, now naked, sitting at Alisha’s feet, knees bent to the side, facing my fellow students naked and playing, posing a defiant challenge to all of them. Alisha commands me to raise my chin and places her sword against my throat and up against my chin. I extend my head like some proud animal on display. I spend the remainder of the course naked at Alisha’s feet, a challenge to the rest

Rob Kendall: All right. So Alisha coming up, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, Alisha, the woman with the sword.

Alisha: Last Sunday night, she had called me and told me to come over and that I should find a ride. That is an unusual occurrence and as she says it to me, I stopped the phone at my ear, my face kind of goes blank. I think she wants me to get a ride over there. Oh, my God, I don’t think I'll be driving. I don’t think I'll be in shape for driving later.

The anticipation, the excitement is already building. So very quickly, I'm finding a ride and she texts me to hurry up. “In 12 minutes,” I say. She says, “OK, you have 12 minutes.” So very quickly I'm there and I walk up the stairs of the beautiful home. The air has a special quality it's unique, there's something different. It's thick and alive and electric and yet, dreamy and romantic at the same time. It reminds me of a painting you might see of beautiful forms with golden warm apricot lights surrounding them, having them appear to glow in the most beautiful way.

I get up the stairs and there's this smell. I realize it's the smell of the candles that I had bought her. When she saw them, I could tell by her face that she was very, very pleased. I could tell by the smell that she was burning all of them so there was a mixture of rich, earthy, deep tones, spicy and sweet and floral and fruity. It was a very, very rich scene.

I could feel her though I couldn't see her and my cohort steps out from the room. He's dressed as a woman and he's very pleased to see me. He stands there and comes close and starts to kiss me. I'm nervous and shaking and I can feel the energy in their house and it's different. It's touching me, it's unraveling me, it's very deep.

From the other room, I hear her first instructions to get undress and he doesn’t hear her but I do. I've been trained well to hear her voice. We start to get undress and he takes over. He's folding my clothes. He's very excited and he's very nervous as well. I watch him with an eagle eye, watching how well he's folding my clothes. Again, I notice how well I've been trained to notice those things.

As I stand there waiting, I feel her coming. I look up and then she comes out. She's made herself available to me. She’s wearing this beautiful, beautiful very small, small miniskirt in this amazing textured material and I had folded it in her closet many, many times. I wondered how she’d look like if she’s wearing it and I finally got to see, all these little details building the richness of the turn on that I feel. That’s when the color comes out, it's a color that I had hidden, how much I coveted it and wanted to wear it and then they put it on me. That’s where we begin. I'm down on my knees and she's directing my every step.

She looks so amazing. I've rarely seen her in such a rich, rich open place of turn on and she's sharing it with me and staring at me and beckoning me to keep my eye contact and it's so difficult. Overwhelmed, I get overwhelmed with her beauty. I adore her so much. She brings me slowly in, I have to match her every step of her high-heeled feet with my hand. Then suddenly, she starts walking backwards and quickly, on all fours, I need to back up. With her riding crop [sp], she touches my chin and lifts me back up to a standing position and beckons me to enter. He follows gleefully in his own pretty outfit.

That’s when things begin. The blindfolds go on and then I am surrendered to her every, every instruction. At the very beginning, when she begins the first words she’d say to me is, “Give it to me. Don’t withhold, give it to me.” I open to her and open to the fullness of the incredibly rich, warm sensations in the room, the music is loud and trendsy and tribal and rich. I'm overwhelmed with my senses though I have not my sight. Hours later, I am consumed by her and he has been as well. Shaking and breathing heavy warm breath together and she thanks me for letting her go so deeply inside of me.

That’s it.

[applause]

Rob Kendall: So we're going to take a quick little break and get a word from our sponsors making this show possible. My name is Rob Kendall here at One Taste Urban Retreat Center at San Francisco, also of Little Italy in New York City, we have our second center. So we'll be right back.

[musical interlude]

[radio break]

Rob Kendall: Welcome back, everyone, to “Erotic Poetry Readings” and “Letters to my Pussy”. Well, not my pussy granted, but various love poems here that we write and we write about all kinds of wonderful things. We write about our experiences here at One Taste. We write about our inner feelings and things we notice and it's an exceptional way to pull what's inside out.

So we're going to have more few readings. First up is Mr. Bob and he is writing about “Heat”, which is all about jealousy, confusion in a late night make out. Here's Bob.

Bob: Heat. She's upstairs making out with the woman we sometimes share and I feel it in my body. There's heat, there's wakefulness, there's a soft clenching and unclenching in my chest like a hand massaging my heart. We fought earlier, my ego was wounded and I hit back trying to prove to her that I'm worth something. That I'm OK, that I'm worthy.

The fight started with a tiny incident and grew into a full fledged conversation. Am I enough what we share together? Does she really love me or does she only love the façade I'm so good at building and maintaining? I feel a barrier beneath my skin as I think about it. There in the dark listening to this other woman’s sighs and moans, it felt like a thick sheet of tinfoil beneath my skin. A barrier that kept everything out and everything in but that transmitted a deep electric impulse from the external world into my internal world.

I'm hard now and wondering if I should go join them. I want to but I also want to feel and I know that intrusion of words, faces, and voices into the space will bring out my habit to look good. I can see it. I'll go up there then I'll get swab [sp] and we'll all lose. So instead, I lie there in the dark and go over the events of the evening. I feel acutely the sensations of humiliations I see how childish I'd been. I feel waves of energy drifting down from the loft over my body. I picture their bodies entwined, one’s head between the other’s legs creating an arch of pleasure on her back. I think of pussys and bodies and sweat and the soft underskin moistness that late night sex can bring.

I touch myself, amazed at the hardness and the softness of my cock. How it's like a divining rod feeding off energy in the next room and directing me towards it. There's pain here and a tenderness and a kind of lost feeling. But I think in this moment that I love it all. What a privilege it is to feel I'm alive, my body’s alive and my chest feels strong and full as I arch my back off the bed. As I take myself over the edge, the energy leaves my body or rather, it changes and opens.

The tinfoil under my skin is now alive and moving. It's electric on its own and the movements on my skin moved deep into my body in waves of subtle release. There's a tingle, a jolt, a sigh and then quiet darkness. Then I remember the fight and the heat returns again.

[applause]

Rob Kendall: Oh, that’s an awful feeling. Oh, Bob, we all know that one. And to follow up on that, we have the lovely Harmony with “Sweating About August 18th: An Afternoon in a Teahouse Here at One Taste”.

Harmony: We're at the table waiting impatiently to order. I know what's coming. His hand is in my lap, hard fingers pulsing against my pussy. It's melting in his hands. We order our tea and then nonchalantly go into the single unisex bathroom. The door is barely closed before I'm pulling off his clothes, pressing myself furiously against him. “You're such a slut,” he hisses in my ear. I sit on the edge of the sink. When his cock slide into me hard, I feel like he's pushing a button deep inside me. The electricity jolts through my body. I wrap my legs around his waist and grab his belt and pull him to me harder, harder. I want him to destroy me. I want him to split me open. I want to feel myself, lose myself in this darkness. I feel like I'm falling.

I want it harder and I get off the sink and leaned forward over it, hands on their beautiful gilded mirror. My eyes look glassy and veiled on its hazy surface. The lights are dim, this is a classy joint. I see a space behind me drawn, concentrating, sexy. He thrust into me hard and I'm falling in on myself. My face’s pressed to the cold porcelain, I can't catch my breath. The ridge of his cock is torturing me. I can't form a single thought. He pulls out and pulls the condom off and I fall to my knees just in time. He tastes warm and earthy and rich, not unlike my favorite [xx] tea.

We get back to the table just as the dark-haired waitress is putting our tea down. “Oh, I wondered where you both were.” Is she smirking? I can still taste him as I take the first sip. The warmth fills my body and I'm floating.

Rob Kendall: Last but not least, the lovely Justine.

[applause]

Justine: Yesterday morning, I'm in the bathroom getting ready for my busy day and I see her come in. We haven’t connected for a long time and it feels like we're strangers living together even though we live just a few feet apart from each other. We talk about the disconnection and then she disappears and I keep brushing my teeth. A few minutes later, she comes back in and says, “Do you mind if I sleepover tonight?” I'm kind of surprised! It feels like from zero to 50 that we would go in that far but I'm open and I say, “Yes.”

So last night, I come home and I'm not sure where she is. I getting ready for bed, I'm folding my clothes. I put sweat pants on, I'm not sure why. I go look for her. I see that she's curled up with her research partner and they're deep in something that I don’t want to interrupt. So instead I keep on with my tasks getting ready for the next day.

Eventually, she appears and we crawl into bed together. It feels like having a sister sleepover. We talk about men and complications and relationships and unpredictability. We're lying just next to each other but not quite touching, kind of like a sister where there's that intimacy but there's just enough space. We touch in to places that we haven’t before together and it feels like the energy starts to settle. I lean over and say, “I'm going to turn off the light. I think we're going to go to sleep.”

So it's dark and the warehouse is quiet. Everybody went to bed so early. Then I feel our bodies moving closer to each other, her finger in my hand and I'm aware of the ridges of her thumb on mine. I reach out for her hair and feel the softness of it in my hand. I'm not sure what happens next but I'm aware of the smooth softness of her lips, her upper lip between mine. I remember how much I love the delicate softness of a woman.

We start touching and giggling and it feels like sisters in a very strange way. It's like tapping into a whole other level of connection. We hardly talk and it's dark but there's something unfolding between us, something that couldn't happen in another place. “I want to go down on you,” she says and I feel the apprehension, the uncertainty. Oh, is this really what she wants? I'm never sure of what she wants. Is it for someone else or is that really for her? But, she's moving down my body and reaching to undo my pants and slipping them off. I feel myself let go.

Her tongue is between my lips and finding my clit and slowly rolling over and under it. I'm sinking into the warmth and wetness of her mouth. “Tell me what you like,” she says. “I like it just like this. I want your finger inside of me” and slowly she slides her finger in and I feel my whole body relax and sink into this sensation of her inside of me.

This goes on for a while and I can hear my moans and I can hear her movements and the sound of her lips and her tongue against me. I'm aware of her partner sleeping or maybe not sleeping, just below us and I wonder if he's going to appear or not. I know how it is right in that moment. It's just perfect that we're connecting and we don’t need anything or anyone else to do that.

Rob Kendall: All right. We're going to end up on that very fun and wild ride of erotic night here at One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco.

You can hear other recordings of this in our show “Taste of Sex: Audio Reality” on PersonalLifeMedia.com. We've got also a guest lecturer on that side as well. It's amazing the work that we do here. Here at One Taste, we do workshops, we have events, we have courses, we have retreat weekends. We throw parties and we have the most amazing café here in San Francisco, all at 1074 Folsom. We also have a center in New York City where we do various other events and workshops and parties and speakings. So please check out our website at OneTaste.us.

My name is Rob Kendall and I'm proud to sub for Marcie Prohofsky for “A Taste of Sex: Erotic Poetry Readings”.

[music fading]

Woman: Find more great shows like this on PersonalLifeMedia.com.