Episode 74: Rebecca Deos: A Chat With A Courtesan

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Meet Rebecca Deos, retired coutesan. For most of her adult life, while happily married and mothering her children, Rebecca has also been exploring various aspects of sexuality including swinging, polyamory, working as a courtesan and escort. At the same time, she owns and runs successful mainstream and adult businesses. Join Rebecca and I as we talk about the path from housewife to swinger to escort to courtesan. Listen in as we explore the lessons a coutesan has for women and the lessons she has for men, the insights about what is sexy, the "true confessions" her male clients share. And don't miss Rebecca's exercise for you to try at home.

Transcript

Start: This program is intended for mature audiences only.

Chip August: Welcome to sex, love and intimacy. I'm your host Chip August and today on the show I'm going to be talking with someone who has made her living as a courtesan. Also as an escort and also knows a little something about swinging. So today were going to be talking a little bit about, I guess what I would call the world of alternate sexuality.

Rebecca Deos: When your wife complains about her body. Tell her to stop, hehehehe. Because there is nothing wrong with it. The other thing probably is, be more romantic, there is nothing wrong with a nice long kiss or hug everyday.

Rebecca Deos: It's not even what they would want to do with me that they wouldn't want to do with their wives. There is a lot of wives that just don't, they take sex as if it's part of their marital duty and they only have to do it, you know so many times a year. And they don't have to enjoy it and they don't have to, you know try anything new.

Chip August: My guest today is Rebecca Deos and for most of Rebecca's adult life she has explored various aspects of sexuality, including swinging, polyamory, she's worked as an courtesan, she's worked as an escort as well as owning some successful mainstream and adult businesses. Currently Rebecca has several projects, she is involved with some blogs, she's discussing issues of sexuality and sensuality. She's involved with various Internet strategies, she's developing an online private label lady's boutique. She's quite a woman of the world. Welcome to the show Rebecca.

Rebecca Deos: Thank you so much!

Chip August: I wanted to, I wanted to talk, I wanted to have you on the show because this whole idea of what in the world is a courtesan and why does one become one and what kind of life is it? I think it's a thing people hear about, they read in novels but they don't know very much about. I'm hoping you can teach us a little bit about what you learned in the business.

Rebecca Deos: Absolutely!

Chip August: So my first always, it's such a secretative business you know I mean sex work is basically illegal and most of the states in the United States.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly.

Chip August: Why would you be interviewed about this illegal activity?

Rebecca Deos: Well at this point in my life I actually am retired from the business. So I don't feel like there is anything I have to kind of hide from it at this point.

Chip August: Good.

Rebecca Deos: There's been so many different mainstream businesses and so many other things that I started branching off into and it's been a few years since I had new clients and things. So it's kind of like, it's okay to talk about it because I'm not actively doing it, hehe.

Chip August: Great, terrific.

Rebecca Deos: So I can cheer with everyone.

Chip August: Yeah kind of wanted to get that thought out there just in case there is any law enforcement people, no you can't go after her.

Rebecca Deos: Hehe.

Chip August: So okay.

Rebecca Deos: I'm old now, hehe.

Chip August: What is a courtesan? I mean is that different than an escort, is that a prostitute or are they all names for the same thing. What's a courtesan?

Rebecca Deos: It's a little bit, it's different it's more of an intimate relationship, I mean there all different levels. But it's more of a connection with the person, you just don't meet and have sex it's more of, you're going to dinner, you're talking about different interests that they have. You're sharing your, basically debating with them, matching wits. You're more of a companion rather then just, I guess a booty call if you want to say that. It's a little bit different it's kind of like a mistress but you're paid.

Chip August: Mm, okay. So it sounds a little to me like a geisha?

Rebecca Deos: Yes, exactly! You have to know a little bit about everything and you kind have to be, kind of like a Renaissance Man you just kind have to know a little bit about everything to kind of be on your game. You have to be up on politics, you have to be up on the news. You have to know what's going on so that you're able to go out into public. You know whether it's just out to dinner or he's taking you to a business function and you're there to kind of close the deal, you know.

Chip August: Hehe

Rebecca Deos: Usually eye candy is always the big help, hehe.

Chip August: So I, for a brief period of time I thought I wanted to be a clown in the circus and there is actually a clown college. Is there a...

Rebecca Deos: It is?

Chip August: Is there a courtesan college?

Rebecca Deos: There isn't a college per say but there are different places you can go to learn. I was lucky because what has happened was I kind off fell into it and an older woman had kind of brought me into it and kind of took me under her wing. And kind of showed me the ropes so to speak.

Chip August: So let's kind of talk about that process. Cause I noticed in your bio and some of our conversations you kind of talked about that. How did you go, I mean listeners just so you know this is a housewife and a mom who's married for what did you say? Twenty? Twenty-one?

Rebecca Deos: Twenty years yes, Twenty years actually twenty and a half and a we dated another year so yeah quite a long time, hehe.

Chip August: So can you talk about that process? How does a housewife mom wind up being a courtesan? Talk to me a little bit about your life. Tell me the story.

Rebecca Deos: Actually that was something that I kind off fell into when I was, at the time I was a lot younger

Chip August: Mhmm

Rebecca Deos: And I was working with the airlines and it was one of those things were I was meeting different gentleman as they came through and taking them over to a lounge and stuff and became attracted to one. Me and my husband began kind of blurring the whole swinger lifestyle, and that's kind of how I fell into it was through this one gentleman that I kind of had an attraction to, and we had just started swinging and it ended up that he actually was in an actual group that had private courtesans that would come and meet with him. He would fly them to different places, there was actually a group of men and they have group of girls and they meet at different locations for parties and things. You know you had your little network of people that you interacted with or didn't, you know depending on the girl. So I kind of fell into it like that and he was very very, an older gentleman kind of very very suave. Almost like, oh gosh. Like a Sean Connery kind of type were, hehe. You know even though he's older he's just extremely sexy, hehe.

Chip August: You're speaking to a guy who is in his mid-fifties so I love hearing this, okay? Hehe.

Rebecca Deos: Hehe, so that's kind of how I ended up getting into it and then, you know first I was, long time ago but kind of continued it for a while then I stopped for a bit and you know had my babies. Then still continued, periodically we would go in and out of the swing lifestyle. It's a very intensive kind of thing, it's almost instead of dating one person you're dating basically, you know but four people. So it's kind of, you know becomes a little bit draining so we go in and out of that.

Chip August: So, let me talk a little bit about your husband if you don't mind a little bit about your, not about him particularly but about your marital relationship here. So mostly the swingers I talk to, as a couple they're going to couples events and in that event they're and doing whatever they're doing at the party and then they're kind of getting back together and going home. But you're kind of describing a little different here where you're off getting paid. While I assume your husband was home or doing whatever. How does that work? Is that okay with?

Rebecca Deos: Mhm, well you know the fact is it's a little bit different it depends on the person. You know you have some people that are married to the person and other people that are more concerned with their job. You know that's part of, that was part of my personality was I was always always sexually adventurous.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: So that's something...

Chip August: So he kind of just got in. He was part of it.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly, Yeah I didn't pull any bones about you know about that in the beginning so he kind of knew what he was getting upfront. So when I came to him with this one particular thing. I mean he wasn't floored and shocked, I mean maybe at first, hehe. You have to ask him. But, you know he is, well if it's going to make you happy if this is something that you want to try, you know for me to say that I own you and I won't allow you you to do it, you know. You can explore whatever you feel you need to and want to explore, so.

Chip August: So he was supportive?

Rebecca Deos: Exactly!

Chip August: Now you did do some kind of training though right? You went somewhere? I seem to recall reading in your materials that you, somebody trained you? Yes?

Rebecca Deos: Well I can't really get into that, there are some logistic reasons and I wouldn't want to get anybody in trouble, hehe.

Chip August: No, I wouldn't want you to get anybody in trouble either.

Rebecca Deos: So I...

Chip August: So I got that as, yes that's something I did but I don't want to talk about it.

Rebecca Deos: Yes, hehe.

Chip August: Good, okay. So...

Rebecca Deos: It's you know myself is one thing but to start bringing other people into it. I would hate to do that without...

Chip August: No problem!

Rebecca Deos: without them knowing.

Chip August: No problem. So speaking of people finding out things like that. Now I understand at one point some of your neighbors found out what you did for a living.

Rebecca Deos: Actually, at two points.

Chip August: Yeah, so what happened out of that?

Rebecca Deos: It was actually for me an everyday kind of life. At first it didn't affect me and then it kind of affected my family more then it did me at first. Then from the ripples of it then it did affect me.

Chip August: Affects you differently how?

Rebecca Deos: Well because here we were in this small town and we were very active. You know in the PTA and just different organizations in the town. One day we were great and the next day was ooh, hehehe. It's those people ooh, it was very very you know frowned. It wasn't, I didn't get a chance to really, even close friends didn't even give me a chance to say, hey what happened? What’s going on or is this true or anything.

Chip August: Yeah, I actually in the neighborhood I lived in before when we bought the house were in right now. One of my neighbors googled my name and found out that I led workshops in love, intimacy and sexuality and decided that I was buying the house to have as a sexclub. We weren't.

Rebecca Deos: Yeah

Chip August: We were buying the house to raise our kids you know.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly, exactly.

Chip August: It was quite the experience. I moved into a neighborhood were they were already petitioning to try to stop me from moving in. In the years that have passed everybody has kind of seen that, no were just a normal suburban family with kids and you know.

Rebecca Deos: It's your job, exactly. You know that's the same thing, I mean I had, It's my job I also have another job as well. You know I have other mainstream companies as well that I have and this is just one aspect of, one part of me. It doesn't define me, you know I mean that's not you know if someone says define me that's not what they're going to say. They're going to say a lot of other things and that which maybe come out poorly(?).

Chip August: Well was anybody supportive when they found out? Did you find that they’re people that were supportive?

Rebecca Deos: I actually had a couple of people that surprisingly were supportive. It was people that I only knew as far as acquaintances.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: I had a lady that came to me in the supermarket and gave me a book and she goes, I've been waiting bump into you, I mean it's a small town. I've been waiting to bump into you cause I have this and I think it's really good and I think you'd enjoy it. She gave me this book to read and I just kinda, at first I honestly thought it was going to be a bible or something.

Chip August: Right, right.

Rebecca Deos: Hehehe, I put it my bag and was kind of stunned and it was just that, it was something that had sound a book that was you know had to do with sex and enjoyed it and thought it was funny. Couldn't share that with her friends.

Chip August: Right.

Rebecca Deos: Because they would frown upon it. I mean just cause she's reading a book doesn't mean she's a bad person or you know she's evil.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: She was just enjoying the book and so in that aspect I did have positive things as far as that I had quite a few blogs, bloggers contact me. That was very positive. I did get involved with, they had a New York blog Six Calender which I went up there for their calendar launch, that was wonderful you know getting to meet all those girls. They were all extremely supportive, so I mean I would say it's been probably fifty-fifty.

Chip August: Mhm, listen I want to take a short break and give a chance for us to support our sponsors and our sponsors to support us. Then I have a lot more questions about this so listeners stay tuned. Were about to take a break, these announcements you're about to hear listeners, these are people who are you know kind of going out on a limp and supporting a show that maybe a little different then mainstream radio or mainstream TV. If you like the content of my program and you like listening it would really serve me if you would take a moment to listen to what my sponsors have to say. And I think you'll find that there are some products and some ideas that are really valuable to you and also if you go on my episode page sex, love and intimacy at personallifemedia.com you'll see that we have some discounts and some offers just for you being a listener to this show. So please take advantage of my sponsor’s services and listen to the messages. You're listening to Chip August and sex, love and intimacy and we'll be right back.

[commercial break]

Chip August: Welcome back, you're listening to sex, love and intimacy. I'm your host Chip August, I'm talking to beautiful Rebecca Deos and she has done many things in her life. Among other things been a gentleman's companion, a courtesan, an escort, has some experience with swinging and polyamory. But also has owned successful mainstream and adult businesses. When we left we were kind of talking about that you had been outed at least a couple of times and kind of what the results of that were. It led me to thinking a little bit about, so my experiences, women feel angry often about even the existence of sex workers. You know just that somehow rather the idea that someone will pay you takes something away from other women.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly, hehe.

Chip August: Would, can you talk a little bit about why you think you're actually a benefit to housewife’s and wife’s and mothers and you know. Why are you a benefit?

Rebecca Deos: To be quite honest women are very very intimidated by the whole process, they think that for some reason were going to steal their husbands or their boyfriends. And quite honestly a lot of times what happens is the husbands don't want to do certain sex acts with them or they don't feel like they can share something intimate with them because they're afraid that going to make them look like less than a man. Or it's going to make them less in their eyes they're going to be disrespected by maybe something that they might be curious about. So a lot of times they go to other women to have those fantasies fulfilled or to have that outlet. You know and sometimes it's just to have a connection with someone that's going to listen to them and not complain about the bills or the kids doing this or doing that. Getting back to just a little bit of paying attention to them.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: You'd be surprised how many people are in marriages that honestly they don't communicate, except to complain.

Chip August: No, I actually wouldn't be surprised but yeah.

Rebecca Deos: It's funny because like ninety percent of what I do and in the industry is a lot of just communication and getting to level of comfort with the other person. That they can share that they want to try this or they want to try that or they had. They want to talk about something and not be judged. Oh you know what I always wanted to be a fireman. Not somebody to sit there and go ooh that's ridiculous. Really, you'd be surprised that some of the things are quite silly but for the people that are using the service its very cartadic(?) to them.

Chip August: So a lot of what you provide is a safe outlet for a man to experiment?

Rebecca Deos: Exactly.

Chip August: And what kinds of things would men want to do with you that they wouldn't want to do with their wives? What I mean...

Rebecca Deos: It's not even what they would want to do with me that they wouldn't want to do with their wife’s. There is a lot of wife’s that just don't, they take sex as if it's part of their marital duty and they only have to do it, you know so many times each year. And they don't have to enjoy it and they don't have to you know hehe, try anything new. So a lot, sometimes it's very silly things that you'd say oh how come they can't get that from their wife. They can but if the wife, if the wife is not wanting to try anything new or not wanting to have sex in general cause they are tired from the kids.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: Or they are just not fulfilled. It's just kind of takes them out of that world a little bit, you know it makes it fun again cause I mean a lot times what happens is when they get into the marriage situation, people start not talking about their fantasies and they start getting wrapped up in just the stresses of daily life. It's a lot of work to have a good marriage.

Chip August: Uh, yes hehe.

Rebecca Deos: You just don't wake up, I mean you actually have to work at it and I think a lot of the women thinks that ooh just cause I'm married and there is a ring on my finger everything should be wonderful, hehe.

Chip August: Well now you talk about wife’s who for instance considers sex to be a choir. But in a way, in my head I just think yeah but for you it's a job?

Rebecca Deos: Yes, yes it is but a lot of it too is that a lot men like to talk about their fantasies and a woman is more apt to take that fantasy and listen to it. But then in a fight maybe two or three weeks later go, oh yeah well that bank teller you think is hot, go tell her your business.

Chip August: Right.

Rebecca Deos: Kind of throw it back in their face so a lot of it is, a lot of fear to tell them and share with them that you know what yes she is being happy and nice but eeh maybe if I tell her that you know I want to try this she might throw it back in my face later on.

Chip August: So you are, in a way you can be a confidential outlet.

Rebecca Deos: Yes, it's more of a confidant. Because there is a you know, sometimes there are things that men just, they either can't tell or they want to do but they're afraid to tell their wives cause they don't want to be looked at differently.

Chip August: Can you talk a little bit about the difference between what women seem to think men want, like physically and attractiveness versus what you've observed that men really find attractive?

Rebecca Deos: Honestly, the biggest thing I found is, it has nothing to with size. Size is not a factor, stretch marks is not an issue. Men do not care about appearance as much as women think that they do. You know all of these women that are running out and getting boobjobs and tummy tuck's and butt lifts. It's more how you feel in your own skin then it is how you look. You can be, you know two hundred pounds and be sexy as Angelina Jolie or you can be five hundred pounds or be ninety pounds and not be sexy in your own skin, you know.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: It's more of the confidence issue then anything. Because I recently had just underwent some weight loss so I have always been on the bigger end of the spectrum. I'm not one of these that are going to be a size two or a size five in any point of my life, hehe. A lot of it is just how you feel about yourself and the confidence you have in your own sexuality. I think that's something that, it took me years and years to really accept everything. Cause even myself, my body was always an issue. I thought I could be litteler, you know ooh the stretch marks but it's not an issue at all.

Chip August: What you're really saying is what makes somebody sexy is their attitude, their beliefs, they're...

Rebecca Deos: It's how you feel about yourself.

Chip August: How you feel about yourself, yeah.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly, and putting on a little sexy negligee, it helps but if it's not, if you're not going to feel sexy in that negligee then don't put it on.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: If you're going to be sexy feeling if you put on a big white fluffy cotton robe then you put on the big fluffy cotton robe, hehe.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: You know it's not, it's all about what's going to make you feel sexy. Not what other people think is sexy.

Chip August: And to that end what you notice is that the men who choose you, basically choose you because they liked you rather then just a physically appearance.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly, yeah.

Chip August: Okay, so I want to take another break I want a pause, take a break and then when we come back I want to talk a little bit more about this, about escort work and things like that. But it's a good moment to pause so we are going to take a break. As we go to break listeners I just want to remind you that one of the best ways for me to grow my show is if you will send a link to people in your life. You know when you you're listening to a show you think is interesting, why send a link to people and let them know. I had the biggest number of downloads, biggest monthly number so far this past December. I like to keep building on that, so if you like what you're hearing and you think you know other people who might enjoy it, please send a link. Also to that end if you go to the site you'll notice that most of the shows we transcribe the episodes into print. So if you hear something and think wow I want to, just want to cut and paste that and put up as my motto or that paragraph that, that thing that Rebecca just said I want to send that to three of my friends. Great, go on the site, find the transcript cut it out and you know cut and paste it and send with a little link. Saying you can hear more of this here and you help me, you help the site grow and you turn on lots of your friends to a really good program. So help us, help us grow this blog, this pod cast and of course the accompanying blog. And finally if you do go to personallifemedia.com you will notice on my episode page there is a survey. And if you'll just take five minutes to fill out the anonymous listener’s survey for my show it will help me understand you better. And it also helps me to get the right sponsors for the show and give them confidence that we are the right show for them. So I really appreciate your help. So we are going to have some short commercial messages and then we will be right back. I'm Chip August, you're listening to sex, love and intimacy and we will be back in a moment.

[commercial break]

Chip August: Welcome back to sex, love and intimacy. I'm your host Chip August were listening to Rebecca Deos, she has been a gentleman's companion, she's been a courtesan, she's worked in, she's been a swinger. She has some mainstream of the business. What that is and what it means. I'm curious did you ever get arrested for doing this? Have you ever been busted?

Rebecca Deos: No, I have not.

Chip August: Thank goodness.

Rebecca Deos: Hehe

Chip August: Did you do this when you're kids were little?

Rebecca Deos: Yes I did.

Chip August: Doesn't that...

Rebecca Deos: I've always been in some form of, you know whether it was at one point working in an adult toy store. It's always been in some aspect of the adult industry. Doing something.

Chip August: Do your kids know what you do?

Rebecca Deos: Yes, they do.

Chip August: And how do you...

Rebecca Deos: They have more of the light version but yes, hehe.

Chip August: So how do you tell your kids, yeah well I'm in the sex industry I mean how do you, how is that?

Rebecca Deos: Well, you know it's very funny cause there was something, I had to basically sit down and having teenagers now. When this last time, it had come out once before and I was working at the adult toy store in another state. And they were little at that point.

Chip August: Right. So they didn't have the Internet. There friends didn't know.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly, this time around I had to sit them down and kind of talk to them and explain to them what I do. I mean it's more then just, like I said I'm retired now from that business but I do have you know blogs and I do sell you know adult toys and lingerie. I do have other projects going on so I did need to sit down and talk to them and discuss with them. You know what their mom did.

Chip August: Can you give me an idea what you said?

Rebecca Deos: I told them that, you know I do on the Internet I do some blogging, some sex blogs and that I sell you know adult toys and lingerie. And that you know this is what mommy does, hehe. You know there mommy has another job too but this is also you know part of me and they just kind of took it in stride. It was funny cause the older one or I guess the middle one said, she started laughing, she said who on earth would want to read your stuff?

Chip August: Hehe

Rebecca Deos: And who on earth would pay to meet with you? So you know, they kind made me laugh cause I'm like oh my god I thought I was a babe. You know it was spoken about and then we had moved on from it. We have always been pretty open and you know our relationship is very loving, me and my husband so I don't think the aspect of sharing anything like that was so far beyond their means, if that makes any sense.

Chip August: Are they aware of your swinging lifestyle?

Rebecca Deos: Uhm...

Chip August: Are they going to be aware from this interview?

Rebecca Deos: No, actually in fact it's kind of like, that's one of the things is personal and it's in my bedroom, you know. Just like they don't need to know what positions I like and don't like and things like that, that's just personal. So, no they don't know about that, if they asked I would not have a problem discussing it them.

Chip August: Right.

Rebecca Deos: I an educated manner. You know I mean there is a right way and wrong way to do it. To kind of get it across that they understand but also not be forcing them into be either pro or con against it.

Chip August: Would you be, how would you feel if one of them decided they wanted to do that kind of work? Would it be okay?

Rebecca Deos: I think if they did. If they went into it with a certain frame of mind. Quite honestly I don't really know, I guess I'd have to, they have to be really really having their stuff together because that's. You have to have a really strong sense of self and I don't think everyone has that, that's why you have a lot of sex workers that are usually from sort of bad background. Not so many are there because it's just something that they enjoy or sell into, you know. So if they went into it with the right frame of mind and as I said with a strong sense of self. Then I probably would not be upset.

Chip August: Yeah I got.

Rebecca Deos: But I mean...

Chip August: If they're in desperation and they're selling their body because they are out of things to sell. That's horrible.

Rebecca Deos: Yes, that's a horrible thing, yeah.

Chip August: If they're really sex positive and they really enjoy sex and they see an opportunity here to bring that, turn that enjoyment into a way to make a living that might not be so horrible.

Rebecca Deos: Right and the other thing is to that something that has never been my only source of income.

Chip August: Mhm, you'd coached them the same, this is not a good thing to rely on.

Rebecca Deos: Yeah, no it's not but I mean it's something that I personally enjoy and I guess it's the same as if it's a golf pro that teaches golf, you know hehe.

Chip August: Right.

Rebecca Deos: Why can't I, you know I mean I'm good at it and enjoy it and so I kind of almost put into that genre.

Chip August: Ok, so as a courtesan. Somewhere in there you have a lesson or two to teach a wife and maybe a lesson or two to teach a husband from your experience in all this. So what could a courtesan teach a wife?

Rebecca Deos: One is definitely communication between you and your husband. That's what true intimacy is, there is so many husbands out there that are afraid to actually share with their wife’s. And these are men that have been married for long periods of time. Probably because afraid it's going to come back and bite them in the butt. You'd be surprised, I mean that's something from a woman, it's very hard to not take something you hear and not throw back at them when you're angry, hehe.

Chip August: Mhm, yep.

Rebecca Deos: But it's a conscious effort that even I do, I make sure that if he says something I don't throw it back at him. I think that's something that's very very important also there are so many women that don't embrace their bodies. You're husband is not looking at you saying, oh you need a boobjob, you need you know liposuction. He's not, all those lines and those stretch marks, that's you're roadmap of life. He's been there with you and it's comforting to him, you know. And if you're comfortable in your body it doesn't matter what your body looks like.

Chip August: Mhm, and what would you teach a husband?

Rebecca Deos: When your wife complains about her body, tell her to stop, hehe. Because there is nothing wrong with it. The other probably is, be more romantic, there is nothing wrong with a nice long kiss or hug everyday. It doesn't have to lead to sex. Nothing wrong with a little massage or snuggling. And once in a while do yourself a favor and write her a little note or card for no reason. Just to say you know what I still find you attractive and there is nothing wrong with going out on a date.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: You know especially with, I mean have teenagers now but even when they were little or teenagers even tough we take time to get away the two of us. Because you do get into the stress of life and family and routines. So take yourself out of the situation even if it's for an hour just to have dinner together.

Chip August: Yep, I tell my clients take a night off, it doesn't matter, take a night off. Find a grandparent or an aunt or an uncle to watch the kids. Figure out a way to get them to leave at their friend’s house for that night, take a night off.

Rebecca Deos: Exactly!

Chip August: It doesn't matter if you just bring a tent and a sleeping bag and go take that night off in a campsite. It's not about how much money you spend but there is something about actually taking time.

Rebecca Deos: Well, it gives you chance to explore the difference between intimacy and sexuality and just sex.

Chip August: Yeah.

Rebecca Deos: You know, I mean you can have all three, you can. Sometimes you can have just fun recreational sex, sometimes you can have loving sex there are so many different levels of it that it can be different all the time. It doesn't have to become a routine or be put into a [?].

Chip August: Now Rebecca, if people want to know more about the legitimate businesses you are now in. Not, I get that you are retired from the courtesan business but if they wanted to know more about your online projects or your blog, how would they reach you?

Rebecca Deos: They could reach me, I'm actually doing an outreach program for sex workers that were outed. So that's kind of nice, you can find that, you know you have that link of course.

Chip August: Yeah, but could you say it?

Rebecca Deos: Yes, actually I'll go ahead and say all of them.

Chip August: That would be great.

Rebecca Deos: Another one, I guess the best one would probably be romanticallyrebecca.com and...

Chip August: That's all one word, r-o-m-a-n-t-i-c-a-ll-y-r-e-b-e-c-c-a, romanticallyrebecca.com

Rebecca Deos: Yep, and also sexinthepublicsquare.org is where you can find me where I'm doing outreach work for outed sex workers.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: And I also have some art photography as well that you can find on romanticallyrebecca, one of the links on there.

Chip August: Terrific.

Rebecca Deos: I actually have a couple of mainstream blogs and things like that to under different pennames but I think that would probably give most, that's kind of romanticallyrebecca is pretty much the hub, hehe.

Chip August: Terrific, and I would like to, readers oh listeners by the way if you have comments or feedback or you want to let me know how much you enjoyed the show or you want to suggest guests for other shows. Just want to remind you can always send me information at [email protected], and that's all one word, personallifemedia.com. If you want to call and leave a message for me there is a personallifemedia voicemail, 206 350-5333. That's a voicemail the entire personallifemedia network so please make sure you mention my name and the show name and your name and give us a way to get back in touch with you, a phone number, an e-mail. Were coming down to the end of the show and Rebecca I would like to leave my listeners with an exercise something they can do at home to improve the love, intimacy or sexuality in their life. And I was wondering if you had a suggestion for people.

Rebecca Deos: Absolutely, You know February being, you know the month of love, hehe. What I have on romanticallyrebecca is, were doing something the week before. The seventh to the fourteenth for everyday there is going to be a different exercise that you can do, to kind of do what your significant other, kind of boost things up and hopefully the final finale will be on valentines day. But I think the one exercise that would be wonderful to do is, not everything has to cost a lot of money sometimes you can turn around and just take one the kids old board games and make it into a sex game.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: It can be fun.

Chip August: I've played strip monopoly.

Rebecca Deos: Yes, you can take, exactly. You know take, you can do strip monopoly you can take one of the board games and make it into something a little more creative where the chance card, you know you're going to do this to your partner, hehe for two minutes.

Chip August: Mhm

Rebecca Deos: You're going to have a five minute massage, something like that kind of forces you to have fun but also sexual and sensual. Because I think what ends up happening is, people forget to have fun with sex as well. Part of it, you know the best is when you're sitting there in the middle of something and you just burst out laughing, you know hehe.

Chip August: Yeah, Rebecca I want to appreciate you for coming on the show. Thank you very much, you've been a great guest. Thanks for being here and listeners thank you for listening. Thank you, were coming to the end of another episode of sex, love and intimacy and I want to appreciate your support and hope you'll join us again next time.

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