Episode 17: Fun & Sexy Board Games with Mark Phelan

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In this episode Dr. Lori Buckley and friend, Mark Phelan discuss the best adult board games and why couples should consider playing them. Dr. Lori talks about the difference between the good and the bad games, and tells you where you can get them. Mark and Dr. Lori roll some erotic dice and talk about their own personal experiences with adult games. More details on this episode go to http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/minds-of-men/episode017-mark-phelan-fun-and-sexy-board-games.html

Transcript

Fun & Sexy Board Games with Mark Phelan

Announcer:  This program is intended for mature audiences only.

[Music]

Dr. Lori Buckley: Welcome!  You are listening to On The Minds of Men and I’m your host, Dr. Lori Buckley and I am here today with my friend and sidekick, Mark Phelan.  Hey, Mark!

Mark Phelan: Hola, Senorita!

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] Have you been… wherever you’ve been, again?

Mark Phelan: Drifting down to Tijuana, looking for action, baby.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Hey, wherever you can get it, right?

Mark Phelan: I heard that, girlfriend!

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah.  Well I’ll tell ya, today I am really excited about our show, because we are talking about fun, sexy board games for adults.

[music]

Dr. Lori Buckley: It just so happened that last week I had a couple come in, and they said to me, not knowing anything that I was working on with the games, that they had played a game, which I thought was great, and I said, “Fabulous.  Tell me how it went.”  And they started laughing, and I said, “What?” and they said, “Well, it wasn’t really a great experience.”  And I said, “Well, tell me.  Tell me about it.  What game was it?”  They couldn’t remember the name, but they did give me an example of the first card they picked.  And here’s what the card said -- you’re not even going to believe this, Mark -- it said for the man to take his cell phone, clean it up with alcohol, put it in – it might have said to put some lube on it, but I’m not sure – but something to the effect of ‘turn it on vibrate, put it in his partner’s vagina…’

Mark Phelan: In?

Dr. Lori Buckley: In her vagina, and then to phone her…

Dr. Lori Buckley: And the third step is ‘release’.  And so you work your way through these parts of the game, so by the time you get to release, which is…

Mark Phelan: [makes explosion sound]

Dr. Lori Buckley: You scared me! [laughs]  We just probably scared some of the listeners there, too…

Dr. Lori Buckley: I actually, you know in the name of research, had to play this game, and you know…

Mark Phelan: Oh, you should have told me about it.  I didn’t get a demo.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Well, you know.

Mark Phelan: I get the play-by-play instead of the blow-by-blow…

Dr. Lori Buckley: Does anybody know somebody who wants to play this game with Mark?  Uhm…

Mark Phelan: Yes!  Call in right now; the winner… they’re actually all the winners, anybody who is willing to call; call in right now, and you can play this erection game.  All expenses will be paid, and you can buy a hamburger and come on over…

Mark Phelan: Would it be a good idea to get one of these board games that have the big stack of cards and they just hang around with me in a bar and just kind of slip them to a chick?

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] No!  And we wonder why he’s having such trouble with women.

Mark Phelan: Go into the bedroom and bend over; I’m going to mount you from the rear; what do you think?…

[music ends]

Dr. Lori Buckley: And this came to be because I’m a columnist for Best Life Magazine; for those of you who don’t know, a fabulous men’s magazine; I encourage you to read it, check it out.  And I write a column called Ask the Sex Coach.  And one of the questions that came up there for me was, “Is there a good adult board game?”  And do you know what… I started doing a little bit of research, and what I discovered was, is that there are not very many good board games out there.  That’s the bad news.

Mark Phelan: This is b-o-a-r-d?  Or b-o-r-e-d?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right, exactly!  Exactly.  Good point, because why do we want board games?  Because a lot of couples are b-o-r-e-d.  And games are such a fun thing to do with a partner, and then when we can add in, you know a little bit of eroticism, a little bit of fun, a little bit of communication; you know we have everything going on, and it really is a fabulous thing, if you can find the right board games.  Well the good news is I’ve got two fabulous ones that we’re going to talk about.

Mark Phelan: Can we play them?  Come on!

Dr. Lori Buckley: Well yeah; we might play a little bit.  Just so the listeners can get a feel of what that is.

Mark Phelan: I’d like to get a feel.

Dr. Lori Buckley: You are… you are being bad today.  You are a bad, bad boy.

Mark Phelan: Si, mi mui frisky.

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] It’s Friday, and you’re just rarin’ to go.

Mark Phelan: It could be Monday; it could be Tuesday; it doesn’t matter.

Dr. Lori Buckley: I do look enticing today [laughs].  It’s a good day for me.

Mark Phelan: Honey, your pouty lips are… they have a ‘come hither’ look to them.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay, well I’ll try to contain my sexuality, so you can focus on what we’re doing, which is we’re talking to listeners; we’re going to give some information about these games.  Again, I really encourage you to try these games, and I’ll tell you the difference between the good ones and the bad ones.  Now this is only my opinion.  There are many people out there, including yourselves, who may disagree with me.  And as you know, I always encourage your comments, your critiques, your suggestions, any of that.  Just write me at [email protected], and if you have any great games, absolutely let me know because I want to hear about them.  I definitely looked at quite a bit… well funny story: Way to start… it just so happened that last week I had a couple come in, and they said to me, not knowing anything that I was working on with the games, that they had played a game, which I thought was great, and I said, “Fabulous.  Tell me how it went.”  And they started laughing, and I said, “What?” and they said, “Well, it wasn’t really a great experience.”  And I said, “Well, tell me.  Tell me about it.  What game was it?”  They couldn’t remember the name, but they did give me an example of the first card they picked.  And here’s what the card said -- you’re not even going to believe this, Mark -- it said for the man to take his cell phone, clean it up with alcohol, put it in – it might have said to put some lube on it, but I’m not sure – but something to the effect of ‘turn it on vibrate, put it in his partner’s vagina…’

Mark Phelan: In?

Dr. Lori Buckley: In her vagina, and then to phone her…

Mark Phelan: This isn’t one of those 1980’s phones that looks like a friggin’ shoebox, is it?

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] No, but almost as bad, because he looked at me; I think my jaw was on the ground – how could you not laugh? – and I have a “Q”, which for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s like that Blackberry-type phone, so we got a good laugh, and they actually had a good laugh, so maybe they didn’t have a good sexual moment, but they…

Mark Phelan: But think of that commercial where ‘the Connection’ has 5000 people behind it; it’s kind of disgusting.

Dr. Lori Buckley: So you don’t know who you’re putting in your vagina at that point.

Mark Phelan: Exactly!  It could be that dork with the glasses.

Dr. Lori Buckley: There’s nothing wrong with men with glasses.  Remember, geeks are now… they’re cool.

Mark Phelan: That’s true.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Geeks are cool; geeks are cool.

Mark Phelan: In 70’s and 050’s.

Dr. Lori Buckley: What?

Mark Phelan: I don’t know what that means.

Dr. Lori Buckley: We’ll just… we’ll ignore that one for now.  So for me, and again this is just my opinion, you may have different opinions, but the difference between a good sex game and a bad sex game is…  the ones that I don’t like, that I wouldn’t recommend to anybody, are the ones that you know you roll the dice and you pick a card and the card tells you exactly what to do.  And there’s no particular order, so you might roll the dice once and the first roll will say, “Bend your partner over and penetrate them,“ or “Have your partner give you oral sex for five minutes,” and you know that’s not very much fun.  I mean I suppose it could be…

Mark Phelan: Oh yeah, that would be just a bitch.

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] Well okay, I guess I’m speaking from a woman’s point of view.  Maybe for a man, maybe you’ll like some of those games.  I will tell you this: some of those games can be used separate from the game itself.  So the cards, some of the cards that you can get from those games, just to pick them randomly and say, “Hey, let’s work on this tonight,” could be fun.  But when you do it the way that it is on the board game, I don’t know.  It just seems not very romantic.  Who knows if you’re ready to do that?  Who knows if you want to do that?  And I don’t know… if you need a board game to tell you to give your partner oral sex or vice versa, you probably need other things in your life than a game.

Mark Phelan: Yeah, I mean it’s much ado about nothing, because it’s the basics of what you’re going to do anyway.  And so now, okay. I’ll turn over a card… okay, now I get a blowjob from her; okay, Honey, go ahead.  Well what’s…  Yeah, I like the idea there’s a build to it, some excitement, some creativity.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yes.

Mark Phelan: Build the passion.

Dr. Lori Buckley: That’s exactly it, and these two games that I’m going to review… that’s what they have.  They really do start out in a way that is much more enticing.  For example, there’s a game called Seduction, and by the way, I’m going to tell you exactly where to find these games.  The links will be on my website and I will give you the website address that you can go to, at the end of the show.  So don’t leave, because you’ll want to hear where you can get these games.  Seduction… great game.  So what it does is it starts out at desire.  The second step is arousal, and the third step is release.  And so you work your way through these parts of the games, so by the time you get to release, which is…

Mark Phelan: [makes explosion sound]

Dr. Lori Buckley: You scared me! [laughs]  We just probably scared some of the listeners there, too.

… Which is, yeah, ‘release’; it can be, I suppose.

Mark Phelan: Yee-hah!

Dr. Lori Buckley: You’re ready for it, which is really a beautiful thing.

Mark Phelan: Well it also makes it ‘an evening’, versus you know, “Let’s see, turn over the card… fuck him!  Turn over the card… fuck her.  Okay, we’re done.”

Dr. Lori Buckley: That’s exactly right.

Mark Phelan: Well you have these dice here.  Do you want to do this little dice thing here?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah, we’ll get to that.  Just hold your horses.

Mark Phelan: I want to play something.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Jeez, I’m trying to not be so enticing, but I know you just got one thing on your mind right now.  I just…

Mark Phelan: It exudes out of your every pore.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Settle down, Big Boy!  Settle down.  So… I don’t know.  You know, what can I do? What can I say?  But what it does is it really does build up in its intensity.  So that’s a fabulous thing.  And what I also really like about Seduction is… so the first part is ‘desire’, and you land on… you can land on a ‘kiss’ square; you can land on a ‘set the mood’ square, or a ‘conversation’ square.  What’s nice in that first round, when you land on a conversation square, it doesn’t tell you what to talk about, but it says to engage in just a few-minute conversation with your partner, and it comes with an idea card that gives you many, many suggestions of things you can talk about.  For example, “Give three reasons why your partner is the most important person in your life,” or “Describe something that your partner does that really turns you on.”  And there’s just so many of them. You can use this idea card or you can come up with your own.  Maybe there’s something that you’ve been wanting to talk about, that for whatever reason you haven’t really had the courage; this is a good time to do it.  Now when you start the game, you know you start out in a normal situation.  You’ve got the lights on; you’ve got your clothes on, which is probably a good idea, and then you’ll end up in the ‘set the mood’ when you land on the ‘set the mood’.  Each time one of you lands on it, you and your partner take turns doing something to set the mood.  And again, it doesn’t tell you exactly what to do, but it gives you a list of suggestions.  For example, ‘dim the lights’, ‘turn on some music’, ‘turn on a candle’, ‘put on some perfume’, whatever it may be, ‘put on a sexy outfit’.  So there’s all these kinds of things, so by the time you’re done with that first section, you know you have this nice romantic mood; you’ve done some kissing; you’ve done some talking, and then you’re ready to go to the next round, which is ‘arousal’.  In arousal we get to some more interesting things… you start taking off your clothes; you start talking about fantasies; but it’s all within your comfort level, what it is you want to do, what you feel like doing at that moment.  It’s so much fun.  I actually, you know in the name of research, had to play this game, and you know…

Mark Phelan: Oh, you should have told me about it.  I didn’t get a demo.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Well, you know.

Mark Phelan: I get the play-by-play instead of the blow-by-blow.

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] You’ll have to find your own partner.  But I’m telling you, my partner and I…

Mark Phelan: What time is your mate coming over?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Well no; leave my mate alone; leave her alone.  We… I mean my partner and I, we had so much fun; we laughed and we definitely were building up this fun and this desire.  It was just really, really a good time, and you know just, when you can have fun, and remember it’s really what you’re open to, but for couples who just want to have a fun evening, I mean this is so much better than like going to a movie.  And I love movies, but this is something that’s really different; it can get you talking about things you’ve maybe never talked about, and doing some things in a really fun, fun way.  I will tell you that I got more massages that I’ve ever gotten before.  That was a lovely thing.  And vice versa, my partner really enjoyed that part.  So it is just a great thing.  Another thing about the Seduction game is at the very beginning, before you even start, you and your partner each write down separately without your partner seeing, three sexual acts that you would like to do.  And this is what you do at the end of the game.  And they can be whatever you feel like doing.  So you get to write those down. You also get to write down a role-play.  And here’s some ideas on the idea card for role plays: roman slave, teacher and student, police and speeder – I particularly like that one – [laughs], curious boy and girl, misbehaving boy and girl, call girl and gigolo, the virgin – another really popular one, I think – and the sports hero and cheerleader, or you can come up with your own, but again it encourages you to do things…

Mark Phelan: Is there one for desperate horny dude?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Oh, I just… I’m feeling so sad; I just, we got to just … Does anybody know somebody who wants to play this game with Mark?  Uhm…

Mark Phelan: Yes!  Call in right now; the winner… they’re actually all the winners, anybody who is willing to call; call in right now, and you can play this erection game.  All expenses will be paid, and you can buy a hamburger and come on over…

Dr. Lori Buckley: But it really…it is fun.  You know what’s so great about these games?  People are like, “Why do you need to play a game to have a sexy evening with your partner?”  Well, first of all they’re really fun, and I promise you you’ll laugh.  They’re permission-giving.  You know they can just encourage you to be more aggressive than you normally might be or just maybe a little bit more bold than you might be.

Mark Phelan: Variety is the spice of life, right?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Absolutely.

Mark Phelan: So if you’ve been with somebody for a while, you know all the plusses, the minuses, the ‘don’t push this button’, ‘that button’.  This…it prolongs what could be a knockout bum-ba-da-bum, versus another level of intimacy maybe you’ve never gone to before.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right.  This can last all night.  It can take you to other levels.  And for those who like board games – I know I love board games – it’s a switch from Monopoly, you know, not that Monopoly isn’t fabulous; I love it.  But this is definitely more fun.

Mark Phelan: Yeah, unless you’re playing the kind of Monopoly where once you hit Boardwalk, you get boned.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right.  Well maybe you could… You know, that actually brings up a really good point.  Now these are board games and they’re nice because they’re pre-made for you, but you can make up your own games, right?  Any ideas that you have off the top of your head, Mark?

Mark Phelan: Chutes and Ladders.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Chutes and Ladders… well you know that’s interesting; what if you take a game like that, whether it’s Monopoly or Chutes and Ladders, or whatever kind of game, and create something else?  You probably could do that.  There are all kinds of things that you can do.  You know I tell couples to… they write out their fantasies, and then they talk about it with one another, and I tell them, “Take the ones that you both say ‘yeah, we want to do this’… you know cut them up and fold them up and stick them in a bowl and maybe once a week or every once in awhile just take turns and pick one out and do that, that night.  And that’s a game.  I mean there are all kinds of things that you can do.

Mark Phelan: Well isn’t this fun too because it’s encouraging and inspiring, and at the same time you can put in your own thoughts and ideas, but this just gives you a little nudge, a little hint to take you in that direction, whereas if you just do the old ‘write something down and put it in a bowl’, okay, it’s maybe something we’ve already talked about and done before.  This is a whole different direction.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right, right, yeah, so this gives you… it just gives you more ideas.  It’s a little bit more creative than we probably can be.  But I do encourage you to just kind of think outside the box.  Think of what you can come up with.  Now let’s just… I think the Seduction game I definitely recommend it; you can get it by going to www.FunLovingGames.com, and they have the Seduction game there, and I promise you will have a good time, and what’s nice is again you can do it at your own level.  So we’re going to talk about another game in a minute, but this is something that you can get.  You can get this really almost anywhere.  There are so many different sites that you can go to, the one I just gave you; there’s also one called www.Simply4Lovers.com, and they have all kinds of games too. 

They have these dice there.  And these dice are… you’ve probably seen them; they’re called ‘erotic dice’ or ‘lovers dice’; there’s all different kinds of names for them, and there’s two; they’re usually two different colors, and Mark and I just happen to have a set right here.  We’re going to tell you, if you have these dice, what would happen?  So, Mark, roll the dice and see what it tells us to do.  One of them gives you an action, and the other one gives you a body part.

Mark Phelan: This one’s for you first, ladies.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay, what does it say?

Mark Phelan: “Blow nipples.”

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] Okay.

Mark Phelan: That would be interesting.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay, so if we were really playing this game… come on over here!  No, don’t come over here.

Mark Phelan: Let me give you another one.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay.

Mark Phelan: “Lick boobs.”  Now we’re talking!

Dr. Lori Buckley: So you get a blow, you get a lick…now this is good for couples who, you know maybe just need…

Mark Phelan: I get to pick another one now.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay.

Mark Phelan: This is for me… “Take out the garbage.”  That’s it?

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] It doesn’t say that, but that would be…those would be some…

Mark Phelan: It says, “Suck his nipples”.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay, a lot of nip…you keep landing on the nipples!

Mark Phelan: Yeah well, that’s a nice position to be in.  But yeah, what it does there again, it kind of opens the door.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah.

Mark Phelan: And it’s a neutral spot, instead of pulling out the piece of paper that you wrote or I wrote, this is a neutral thing kind of giving us a direction, and needless to say, once you start with this, you shouldn’t have to keep playing it for an hour and a half.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right.  What’s nice about these dice is… you know what? They’re just so simple.  Let’s do one more roll.  They’re so simple, so they’re a good door-opener to the games, not quite so threatening as the board game.  What does that one say?

Mark Phelan: “Touch nipples”.  Boy, this is a loaded…

Dr. Lori Buckley: My God, let me roll that!  Hand that over to me.  You know, there’s something; let’s see…  I promise you, only one of the things says “nipples”. 

Mark Phelan: I like nipples.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Okay… Oh, see!  I got “blow toes”.

Mark Phelan: Hmm, well that’s a good practice point.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah.

Mark Phelan: To demonstrate a technique, as it were.

Dr. Lori Buckley: So as you can see, this is thoroughly benign and really safe, and again maybe just a door-opener just for something that’s kind of fun to do, and you’re right; you wouldn’t do this for too long.

Mark Phelan: I actually played a board game, you know years ago.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah.

Mark Phelan: I was in a college fraternity, and somehow we were in a Spencer Gifts kind of a place, that has “adult” kind of things, saw a board game called Risqué; I don’t even know if they still make it.  It was a drinking/sex game, where you take off… strip and drinking game, and I think there’s variations of those all over the place.  And what it came down to was the…you get three couples together and you pull out the little card, and you have fun.  You take a sip, take a strip, whatever.  So my buddy and I scoured our brains to figure out, number one, we knew we had to get another guy…

Dr. Lori Buckley: Mm hmm.

Mark Phelan: And then we had to find… we knew two girls who were probably willing

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughing]

Mark Phelan: We needed a third one.  And so then we needed a place to do it.  Now this guy’s buddy had a… older brother had an apartment on the beach which would have been the perfect place.  It would have been a guaranteed ‘score city’.  Or we could have rented an apartment, err, hotel room.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Uh huh.

Mark Phelan: Being the cheap bastards that we were, springing for a six-pack was about the extent of our budget.

Dr. Lori Buckley: You were young.

Mark Phelan: So we decided to do it at the fraternity house, in someone’s bedroom.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right.  Probably not the best idea considering there was a window, and then the word got out what was going on inside the room, even though we locked the door, before too long.  As things progressed and we got to see some flesh, then all of a sudden we hear laughing and giggling, and we look and basically there’s 20 eyes looking through the window, and the option of having three naked women at my beck and call was quickly evaporated by someone screaming, “You’re using my room!  Get the fuck out of there! Grrrr.”  And it was to my dismay finding out the two girls that we like pretty much got warmed up, went from the arousal mode, and they went back to somebody else’s apartment and took care of business for them.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Oh, so you did all the work, and they got all the action.

Mark Phelan: Oh, it was brutal!

Dr. Lori Buckley: Now there isn’t… The games I’m talking about are specifically for couples. 

Mark Phelan: Right.

Dr. Lori Buckley: There’s a game called Titillation which you can also get at that first website I told you about, www.FunLovingGames.com, which is more of what you talked about.  It’s about drinking; it’s about a lot of people; it’s about people who are willing to be a little bit more sexually adventurous, and hey if that’s what you want to do, go for it.  Again, not my thing, so that’s not what I’m talking about, but those games do exist.  Now we’re going to talk about one of the hottest games out there, and it’s called Hot Affair, and it doesn’t… it sounds like we’re talking about having an affair, but it’s really about something else.  So we’re going to take a quick break, and when we get back I’m going to tell you all about that game.  You don’t want to miss this.  You are listening to On the Minds of Men, and we’ll be back in just a moment.

[break]

Dr. Lori Buckley: We’re back.  You’re listening to On the Minds of Men; I’m your host,  Dr. Lori Buckley, and I’m here with my friend and sidekick Mark Phelan, man about town, man who’s lookin’ for a little action.  And hopefully you’re getting some great ideas here, some fun games that you can incorporate into your sex life, and just have some fun, something that you can do this weekend, or maybe next weekend because it will take you a few days to get it.  But you can go online and order it right away.  WWW.BetterSex.com, they have a game called Hot Affair, and it is also a fabulous game.  And what I really like about this game is, in the same way that I like Seduction is it builds up.  You don’t just start out doing things that maybe you don’t feel like doing, but it’ll start out from… there’s like three stages, ‘intimate’, to ‘passionate’ to ‘steamy’.  It also has three different levels of play, so you can start out at level one, which is, you know, a little bit safer, a little bit more comfortable for people who are just starting, and then you can go up to level three, for those more experienced and adventurous players.  But again, you can do it at your own level.  You get to build up and it’s just a fabulous, fabulous game.  The winner of the game gets to have their fantasy.  Now there are 50 fantasy cards, and throughout the game, while you’re playing it, you will end up with a couple of those fantasy cards.  At the end you get to pick which one you want to do.  So that’s how you… that’s how the winner sort of scores.  But it’s not just the winning; it’s the doing of, and this game encourages a lot of communication, but it’s not just about communication.  There’s a lot of great action.  It really, again gives you this permission.  It enables you to lower those inhibitions, and have a great time.  Again, this isn’t about having an ‘affair’… It’s called Hot Affair because it’s about creating a hot affair within your marriage, and that’s what we’re all about here, right?

Mark Phelan: Or relationship.  It doesn’t have to be…

Dr. Lori Buckley: Oh yeah, it doesn’t have to be marriage…within your relationship, yeah.  Usually the people who are married are the ones who need a little bit more, but you’re right; in any relationship.

Mark Phelan: Well speaking of that, in a therapeutic point of view, when you’re doing the role-playing, things like that, how valuable is it, if you’ve been married, or in a long-term relationship, and things are getting a little stale, to do the role play where you’re almost playing that, “I’m going to meet you at the bar.  You’re going to pretend like you’re just sitting there; we’re going to go up to a hotel room, pretend like we’re having an affair, but with each other”?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right.

Mark Phelan: Is that a positive thing to do, or is it really toeing the line of going, “I’d really like to be having an affair”?

Dr. Lori Buckley: Well, yeah, you know I suppose some people have their ideas about it, or their moral judgments, and again you always want to do what feels comfortable for you, so if that doesn’t feel comfortable, don’t do it.  But what I will say, that I can say to everybody is, most people in a relationship, especially a longer-term relationship, whether it’s marriage or not, find that they get into that routine, and it gets a little predictable, and that’s just what it is.  People want to try new things, and two things typically stop them.  One is, they’re embarrassed or afraid to bring it up because they don’t know what kind of a response they’re going to get, or maybe they just feel a little bit ashamed within themselves, and they’re afraid of some kind of judgment in some way.  And the other one is they don’t really have any ideas.  They don’t really know how to do that.  What’s so nice about these games is it gives you, just like books or videos, this is just one other source, they give you those ideas. The Hot Affair has 400 ideas within that game, that you can pick the ones that you like, or the ones that you don’t like.  Again you can always use these cards outside of the game and say, “Ok, let’s just look through this and see what kind of things that we might want to try.  And role-play is a perfect example.  We all have sexual fantasies, and a lot of them include this idea of, “Oh, I’m this, and my partner’s this,” you know the teacher and the student who needs an ‘A’, or whatever it might be.  We all have those; all of us do.  But we don’t really know how to bring it up, or it seems silly.  Now, is it silly?  Are you going to laugh?  Yeah, maybe.  There is nothing wrong with laughing in bed, and sometimes we take sex a little bit too seriously.  While it’s important, and it can be really serious, and really deep and meaningful, it’s also fun.  And to laugh in bed is one of the most erotic sexy things you can do.  So the games, what I like about them is they incorporate all of those things.  Are you going to love everything that you’re doing in the game?  No, probably not.  Are you going to feel uncomfortable?  Yeah, maybe.  But that’s all good.  It’s good to just explore these new areas in your life, so I really encourage couples to just go out there and try it.  You’ve really got nothing to lose.  It’s just a great thing to do.  It’s a lot less expensive than sex therapy.

Mark Phelan: Now would it be a good idea to get one of these board games that have the big stack of cards and I just carry them around with me in a bar and I slip ‘em to a chick?

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs] No!  And we wonder why he’s having such trouble with women.

Mark Phelan: Go into the bedroom and bend over; I’m going to mount you from the rear; what do you think?  Oh, my name’s Mark, by the way.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah, probably not a really good idea.  Probably not a really good idea on the first date either.  You know…

Mark Phelan: Or you go out with a hooker.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Yeah, here we go again, this whole ‘hooker’ thing.  I think maybe that’s the…

Mark Phelan: I don’t have one.  I honestly…

Dr. Lori Buckley: I know you don’t have one!  I can see that’s a problem [laughing].

Mark Phelan: I swear, I’ve never paid for it.  I mean obviously I pay for it with dinners, as you chicks know!  You know…

Dr. Lori Buckley: Oh, you’ve paid so much more than you would have paid a hooker.  You know you probably could have got laid for what, maybe 50 bucks?

Mark Phelan: Oh yeah.  Oh, piece of cake.  But seriously, I’ve never paid for it, with the classic ‘professional’.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Directly.  Yeah, okay, okay.

Mark Phelan: Mainly because, [it’s] kind of what we’re talking about, the intimacy of when you’re having… the fun you’re having… it would be very hard for me to deal with the fact that I know I’m paying for her to pretend she’s having fun.  [Mocking],“Oh, that’s so great… you’re funny… I like you…” And it’s all bullshit.  She doesn’t even know who I am five minutes after she walks out the door.   That is ultimately depressing to me.

Dr. Lori Buckley: And for you, that’s your choice.  Now for some men, and women, paying for it is something that they choose.  No judgment here, you know you make your choices based on your needs and what it is you want.  What you want is… you want connection, you want fun, you want a relationship.  You don’t just want a vagina.  And when you are ready, which you know, I think we’re looking at that soon here [laughing] if Mark doesn’t get in a relationship, it’s out there and it’s available.  But that’s not what you’re looking for.

Mark Phelan: I’m going to hit the release thing, and then I’m going to end up in the hospital.

Dr. Lori Buckley: [laughs]

Mark Phelan: Hey!  THAR SHE BLOWS!!!
I think the best thing about all these games is the intimacy that comes about in the bedroom.  It makes it, it embellishes it, and it’s just icing on the cake.  And I think, from a man’s point of view, if a woman is willing to participate and play these games, it’s that much more reassuring as a guy, and the comfort level of knowing, “Okay, see she really is into this,” and it’s fun because you’re taking it and experiencing those things together.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Right, yeah, when you have a partner who’s willing to try something new, and you know just take this chance and roll the dice, so to speak.  You just never know what you can learn, and I really believe that you will learn something from your partner.

Mark Phelan: You might learn how to ‘blow toes’.

Dr. Lori Buckley: There you go.  You would have never really thought about blowing on toes.

Mark Phelan: Never.

Dr. Lori Buckley: So, information for all of us.

Mark Phelan: Only if they’re in a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Oh god… I’m not even going to go there.  But in a way, whatever turns you on.  And again, there are a lot of games out there for adults.  Eh, most of them are not really great, but again, you know you can find good in anything, and pick and choose the way that you want to use it.  The games that I do highly recommend, and really, just… I don’t think you can go wrong with it, is the game Seduction, which you can get at www.FunLovingGames.com, and the game Hot Affair at www.BetterSex.com.  Two great games, I hope you go out and try them and play them, and I so want to hear your comments, so please write to me at [email protected].  We are out of time, again.  The time goes by so fast when we’re having so much fun.

Mark Phelan: That means we have to go back to prison.

Dr. Lori Buckley: Well you know, it’s all relative.  And again, if you want transcripts of this show or any other show at Personal Life Media, you can go to www.PersonalLifeMedia.com.  Thanks you so much for taking the time to listen to our show.  We really appreciate it, and we will talk to you again soon.  You’re listening to On the Minds of Men.  This is your host, Dr. Lori Buckley.  Bye bye.

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