Episode 17: The Power of Relaxed Intent, part II
Would you wear your weight emblazoned across your chest on national T.V.? Hear what Renee has to say about Tyra Banks’ bold move. Plus, Renee shares what she learned from a bikini clad Brazilian. Finally, go on a guided journey with Renee to practice the powerful art of relaxed intent. Get ready to manifest your dreams with this powerful exercise that you can apply to any area of your life.
Renee Stephens: Welcome to Inside Out Weight Loss. I’m your host, Renee Stephens, and together we’re accessing the control panel of your mind/body system, bring ease and joy to your weight loss journey and fullness to the rest of your life.
Renee Stephens: She is so confident in her body, she moves with a presence and a self-assurance that blew me away. To be able to be exposed in that little clothing with an imperfect body like hers, but yet she moved with a grace and a self-assurance that was amazing to me.
Renee Stephens: If I’m in a high anxiety state of mind and I’m circling the block watching the clock tick as I sit at the traffic light and demanding that magical spot to appear right now because I am late for an appointment or have to pick up my kids or whatever it is, that’s when I don’t get it. And when do I get it easily? When I say, “You know, it’s okay either way.”
Renee Stephens: You’re going to see the you that you so much want to be, perhaps the you that you’ve been demanding to be; the skinny you, the one who doesn’t screw up, the one who always gets it right, who’s naturally and easily slender. That’s the one that you’re going to see, and you’re going to hold on to this you, you’re going to hold on so tightly to her.
Renee Stephens: Today, get ready, because we’ve got a little bit of celebrity gossip for you. Plus, I’ll be walking you through a powerful exercise to manifest your dreams. You’ll be learning the power and the process of relaxed intent. So go ahead and set your intention for this episode. Drop inside for a moment and become present with you. You’ve come to this show for a reason. Make the most of it by being present, by listening to the sound of my voice as you become aware and in touch with you. This time is for you. So wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, open yourself up to get exactly what you need to take the next positive step forward. And you know my intent, but I love to say it anyway. My intent for this show is to end the weight struggle, and free as many people as possible to live their best lives. My intent in this and all episodes of Inside Out Weight Loss is to enable you to dissolve what’s been holding you back and move clearly into living your dreams, because I know it’s possible. I know you deserve it, and I know that you can.
Renee Stephens: Before we go any further on today’s episode, can I talk to you for a moment about Tyra Banks? Former super skinny supermodel Tyra Banks, who now is the host of her own talk show? Yes, this is the celebrity gossip portion of Inside Out Weight Loss. Tyra Banks, the reason I want to talk about her, if you’ve heard about her in the news you probably know. Tyra Banks has come under a lot of criticism lately for gaining weight, about 30 pounds to be exact. Can you imagine what that must be like, to gain 30 pounds, being someone whose made her living as a super skinny supermodel, and to gain 30 pounds as the world watches? And guess what? A handy paparazzi was available to make that career making shot to Tyra strolling down the beach, cellulite in tow, in her bathing suit. And of course this picture went all over the internet as fast as you can blink and erupted a controversy about Tyra’s weight gain. Now weight gain is a relative thing, isn’t it? Tyra Banks, I read in local celebrity gossip tabloid, when she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and at the top of her supermodel game, at 5’10’’ she was about 120 pounds. That’s what I read. Could be a few pounds off. But lets say it’s 130 pounds. At 5’10’’, that’s pretty darn slim. So now, how much does she weigh? Well we all know. Because what Tyra did after all of this controversy came out and she was getting so much of a hard time for gaining weight, is she went on her TV show… You know, it’s really convenient when someone’s having a go at you to be able to have your own TV show to have the last word back. Anyway, I really respect Tyra because she went on her show with a tee shirt with her weight printed on the front of it. Now can you imagine doing that, wearing a tee shirt that has your weight on the front of it for all to see? Uh, my god, the courage it must take. Nevertheless, she goes on her show with 161 in big block numbers right across her chest, telling the world that that’s what she weighs now, 30 to 40 pounds more than she weighed as a top supermodel. And I got to say, I love her for doing that. I think it is so great that she can come bold with a woman’s most secret number; her weight. Now I’d like to draw a distinction here. You know, being a 161 pounds and 5’10’’, that sounds pretty darn good to me. And I’ll say that when I saw her picture in the newspaper, I couldn’t figure out if it was her fat weight or her skinny weight, she looked so darn good, and it turns out it was her “fat”, quote/unquote, weight that I was looking at, and boy did that woman look great. Course she’s, you know, supermodel good looks goes a long way. But the curves looked wonderful on her. And what I’d like to do is just distinguish for a moment what I call healthy curvaceous from miserable curvaceous, and what’s the difference between healthy curvaceous and miserable curvaceous. Well let me tell you a little story.
Renee Stephens: Back in the day when I was a corporate citizen, I was the head of sales and marketing for Latin America, and I had a business trip down to Brazil. Well Brazil’s a long way from San Francisco. So I had to fly down to Miami and take that overnight flight all the way down to Sao Paulo, and once I got to South America I would stay for about two weeks, ‘cause it really didn’t make sense to go back and forth if it took so darn long to get there. So I had a weekend to spare in Brazil, and my distributor invited me to go to the beach with his family for the weekend. And I happily seized the opportunity because I had nothing else to do not knowing anyone else in that city. So I hopped in his van with his three kids and his wife and off we went to the beach, and I stayed in his beach house. Well, the next morning I woke up, went downstairs and of course it was a beach day. I put on my swimsuit, it was time to go out and enjoy the sunshine and the waves. And I’ve got of course a big old towel wrapped around me and I’m probably wearing shorts at the same time so that no one can see anything. Well, at the time I was a bit of a gym Natzi, I’d say, working out like a lunatic, really, really self-critical and very un-accepting of my body. But I was already slim. So his wife comes down… Now his wife, by, certainly by supermodel standards and by American standards, was quite overweight, maybe I’d say 30 pounds, 40 pounds overweight, in a way that was not particularly toned. This woman had cellulite all over her thighs, she had a stomach that actually fell over the bottom of her bikini, and we’re talking Brazilian bikini here. Now, you know what I mean by Brazilian bikini? It might not have been dental floss, but it wasn’t far from it. So her belly is actually flopped over the top of her bikini. And she’s standing there in her bikini inside this house before she goes for her morning walk, just loving life. She is so confident in her body, she moves with a presence and a self-assurance that blew me away. I’m watching this woman, whose body is really, I mean, maybe this is an exaggeration, but it’s sort of my worst nightmare. To be able to be exposed in that little clothing with an imperfect body like hers, but yet she moved with a grace and a self-assurance that was amazing to me. It had such an impact. And there I am, muscles tense, hands strategically crossed over my belly, which is under the towel and under my tee shirt and my shorts, scared to death of letting anybody see what I have under there. And I thought, “What’s wrong with this picture?” Here I am with my low body fat and my trim and toned body that I work like a, like a slave on, and that’s exactly the way it was, I worked like a slave on it in the gym, and I’m, I’m scared to show anybody. And here’s this woman who is just so present in her body. That made a huge impact on me. And from that day forward I realized that, you know what, I was the one who was messed up. It really didn’t have that much to do with my body. I could work and work and slave and sweat away as much as I wanted, and I’d still feel bad about my body, because my body didn’t actually have much to do with it. So that’s what I mean about the difference between healthy curvaceous and miserable curvaceous. To me, from what I can tell from Tyra Bank’s public persona, she feels pretty darn good about her curves. She’s not that embarrassed about it. She’s saying, “I weigh 161 pounds and I’ve got curves like a real woman, and I feel good about it. I’m going public with this.” And she embodies that because she knows how to walk like a supermodel, she knows how to be fully present in her body. And that’s what I admire, that’s what I love. And you can do that today as much as any day. Why wait? Why wait until you have that perfect body, because I’m telling you, my body may not have been perfect, but it was pretty good, and I was still miserable about it. So what’s the point? The point is to feel good about yourself, to feel good in your body. Lets take a short break now to support our sponsors, who make this show possible. This is Renee Stephens, and you’re listening to Inside Out Weight Loss on Personal Life Media. We’ll be right back.
Renee Stephens: We’re back now. Before the break we were talking about Tyra Banks and the difference between a healthy curvaceous and a miserable curvaceous. Lets review for a moment what we talked about last episode, the power of relaxed intent. Remember the magnetometer experiment, and how that needle went off the chart when the experimenter stopped trying? Not even distance got in his way. Remember the parking spaces? I wanted to mention that while I’m a highly skilled parking space manifestor, it doesn’t always work out for me. And when is it that it doesn’t work out for me, when I don’t get that plum spot very close to where I’m going? Can you guess when it doesn’t work for me? Well, you probably got it. When I most want it. When I demand a parking space. That’s right; if I’m in a high anxiety state of mind and I’m circling the block watching the clock tick as I sit at the traffic light and demanding that magical spot to appear right now because I am late for an appointment or have to pick up my kids or whatever it is, that’s when I don’t get it. And when do I get it easily? When I say, “You know, it’s okay either way.” So we’re going to apply parking space manifestation to weight loss. Who knew that parking spaces and weight loss had so much in common? By the way, did you practice your homework, the toggling between wanting something and being okay with not having it, on whatever it is that you want; that fabulous body, that healthy body, that fitting into your skinny jeans body? If you did, you might be well on your way to manifesting your dreams. So now, sit back and relax because I’m about to take you on a guided journey, a guided exercise, the easy, the armchair variety, to create a state of relaxed intent, to bring in your desires while being completely happy and okay with where you are in this moment now. So go ahead and relax and begin to drop inside. If you’re driving, you’ll want to stay awake, aware and alert and continue to drive safely. You’ll want to continue listening to this program when you’ve parked the car and can safely relax and drop inside. So go ahead and drop inside, sitting comfortably in a chair, wherever you are. It’s time to become present with you. It’s time to become aware of the rhythm of your own body, your heartbeat and your breath. Take a deep breath, ahhh, and let it go. You might even let it go with a nice sighing sound, an audible sighing sound, ahhh. Nothing feels as good as letting that tension and tightness melt away. And go ahead and become even more fully present with your inner experience; sensation, feelings, thoughts, sounds, images. And if your mind begins to wander you can just notice these thoughts, and simply come back to the sound of my voice, noticing those thoughts and letting them float by like clouds in the sky, or disperse like puffs of smoke. It’s almost as if the more that you notice them, the more they disappear. And now I want you to begin to think about what it is that you really want. You may be thinking about that dream body, your dream body, your dream body of the future. That dream body that’s you at your best. Slim and sex, curvaceous and healthy, whatever it is that you want to be. You might be thinking about being in great health, having excellent mobility, loads of energy. Develop an image of yourself that you want to be. See yourself skinny and looking great. See that image. Hear what you hear. Hear your own thoughts that you are that skinny. Feel the way it feels in your body. There she is, or he is, looking wonderful, trimmed, toned, fit, everything that you’ve ever wanted to be. This is what you are wanting. This is what you’ve been wanting for so long, and make it real. Make it three dimensional and moving, and see it as brightly and as vividly as you possibly can. And as you see it and as you feel it, you become more and more aware of how much you want that. And what you’re going to do in a moment is you’re going to hold onto it, you’re going to grasp on to that image of what you want. You put everything you want into it, every last thing about it. It’s there, it’s three dimensional, it’s real, and you’re going to, to take your arms out and you’re going to wrap them around this image and you’re going to tense all of the muscles in your body, to hold onto it with everything that you have. Go ahead and do that now. See that image. Feel that thing, that being of the way that you want to be and hold onto it with everything that you have. Tense all of your muscles, hold onto it and notice it’s tricky because it’s, it’s an image and it keeps slipping away, and the more that it slips, the more that you grasp so hard. Hold onto it now. And…then…release. Let it go. Let it go. Watch it float away, watch it dissolve into beautiful sparkles of light that float away into the universe. They float away. You might imagine that they go to some sort of higher power; to God, to spirit, to the universe. Watch them go. They slip away. They don’t belong to you, because they don’t belong to anyone. They simply are. And feel that release. And again, you’re going to repeat this exercise. You’re going to put that image back together. You’re going to see it in front of you. You’re going to imagine it clearly and intently. You’re going to see the you that you so much want to be, perhaps the you that you’ve been demanding to be; the skinny you, the one who doesn’t screw up, the one who always gets it right, who’s naturally and easily slender, that’s the one that you’re going to see, and you’re going to hold on to this you, you’re going to hold on so tightly to her. That’s right. Hold on so tightly to him or her, grasp her, feel the wanting this your entire body, all of the desire that you have ever had, put it in to this grasping, this holding on, to this image. And hold as long as you can; ten, nine, hold on tighter and tighter, eight, seven, six, tighter, hold on, grasp, tense every muscle and fiber of your being, five, four, three, tighter and tighter, two, two, two, too much, one, and release. Let it go. Let it go. You don’t have to hold on. You can relax and release and notice that you are. You simply are. Here, okay, loved and beloved, forgiven, for being where you are in this moment now. Grateful for this body that allows you to breathe, to listen, to move, to live. And you watch whatever that image was, it’s far away now. And those dots of light are sprinkled in your future. Someone or something else is in charge now. You’ve let it go. And in letting go, you’ve discovered the present moment. You’ve discovered this moment, here, now. And as you do you begin to notice the things in your life today that bring you joy. Is it listening to inspiring music? Is it seeing or being with a child or a pet that you feel unconditional love for? Is it simply being out in nature and smelling the smell of a fresh flower or your favorite fragrance? These things are real and here for you now. You can be present in this moment. You can be in your body and grateful to have a body that allows you to live, that brings life to you. And so anytime that you find yourself sad or discouraged, grasping or wanting, grasp even tighter, want even more. And then let it go. Release it.
Renee Stephens: In a moment, you’ll be coming back to full conscious awareness, fully knowing and understanding this exercise, so that it’s almost as if the very act of demanding or wanting, grasping, causes you to release it instantly, to give it away. To give it away to spirit. To give it away to God. To give it away to universe. Whatever it is that you believe in, you let it go. Give it away. Let if float away. And like seeds carried by the wind, they drift down and plant themselves in the soil, sprouting up new life for you to discover on your path. Who knows when you’ll first find them. I wonder how delighted you’ll be to discover that in enjoying the present moment you find your future. So come back now. Come back to be fully aware, awake and alert. I’ll count from one to five. One, coming back, back into your body. Two, almost back. That’s right, movement returns. Three, coming back even further. Four, almost back now. And five, fully present here with me now, awake and aware of life and your day.
Renee Stephens: That brings us to the end of our show today. Thank you for being present. Remember to continue to practice this exercise, the toggling between grasping and wanting and letting go. That’s your homework. And share with us on the blog at www.personallifemedia.com/renee. What are your experiences? How’s it going for you? Or leave a voice message at 206-350-5333. I may play your question or comment on the air. How’s your support system going? If you haven’t already joined the Yahoo group, Inside Out Weight Loss, there’s a link on the blog, you know, personallifemedia.com/renee. On the right hand side you’ll find a link to join the Yahoo group and join in the conversation where you can share your dreams, support and be supported. For other shows on the Personal Life Media network, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com. There’s loads of great content to feed your mind, body and spirit. This is your host, Renee Stephens, and I’m on a mission to eradicate the weight loss struggle from the planet. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves. Take good care.