Episode 56: Forgiving Yourself Slim
It's time to really lighten your load. The first step to truly forgiving ourselves is forgiving others, which we've done on the last couple of episodes. On today's show, Renee takes you on a guided journey to become more Naturally Slender by forgiving yourself.
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Renée Stephens: Welcome to Inside Out Weight Loss. I’m your host, Renée Stephens and together we’re accessing and adjusting the control panel of your mind / body system, bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey and fullness to the rest of your life. On today’s show: A guided journey to take you from forgiving others to forgiving yourself.
Renée: Who really carries the burden of anger? Who carries that burden? The offender or the offendee? And let’s face it, this show is all about lightening our load – lightening our load of resentment, of anger, of guilt and replacing it with all sorts of wonderful, delicious stuff like “I’ve gotten off the couch and I’m moving. I enjoy everything that you have to say and I’m inspired by others that you’ve helped. I cannot thank you enough. My soul’s gift is to help others. It brings me happiness to see someone smile. I’m a certified Nurses’ Assistant and love my job so much that I’m now pursuing nursing. This is my gift to do for others what they may not be able to do and to help them do what they can.”
And then you also notice this other person, this person that you respect or admire, this person who you know would have wonderful advice for you. Perhaps a friend, family member, someone you admire. And you see them. You have a sense of their being from this place, your perch on high in a cloud or somewhere way above.
Renée: A special note to new listeners: If this is your first episode of Inside Out Weight Loss, I encourage you to go back to the beginning and listen to the prologue. There you’ll hear my story and why I care so much about helping you in the weight struggle so that you can share your soul’s gifts.
Then starting from the first episode, you’ll get important foundational pieces that will allow you to bring ease and joy into your weight loss journey, perhaps in ways that you never imagined possible. You’re, of course, welcome to jump right in and join now and listen to today’s episode, but also consider going back and listening from the beginning.
Let’s go ahead now and drop inside. Let’s take a moment to be present with yourselves, present with you, as you become present to this episode of Inside Out Weight Loss. Take a moment to notice your current experience. Perhaps you’re exercising, perhaps you’re walking, perhaps you’re resting, perhaps you’re drifting off to sleep. Just simply notice what state your body’s in, how you are emotionally. Allow all of the cares of the day – the day that’s past or the day to come – to melt away into the very present moment of this instant, of the sound of my voice, as you simply dedicate this time to you, to whatever might be here for you. You found this program for a reason. There’s something here for you and I invite you to open up to receive.
I’d like to share another vignette from BlissTrips.com. Today’s vignette is “What’s the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for you?” Remember that spectacular moment of the past and the jolt of joy or love or happiness it carried. And just like rainy day money in the bank, you can dip into that moment whenever you like. Recall it at will. Smile with it. Let it help you remember the glories of life – that people are good, time is dear, and that you are cared for in so many ways.
It’s a beautiful time to take a moment to think about all of those people who care about you, all of those people who enjoy your friendship, your smile, your presence, your laughter, your wit, your sarcasm. Think about all those people in your life, those people that you touch. There are so many people that we come in contact with every day, even if we don’t think we connect with other people.
Think about your birthday. Does anyone call you? Does anyone send you a card or an email, any kind of note? Even if you don’t speak to your friends every day, you’re in their hearts. You’re in their minds. You’re with them and they with you. So allow yourself to take a moment to be surrounded by the care and love and friendship of those in your circle, of those that you connect with.
Perhaps there’s something small and so easy that you could do today to help that person. Perhaps there’s something very small and easy that you could do today to help someone that you love, someone who’s a friend, or even someone that you barely know. I like to play a fun game – I was at a wedding recently and I played a game of seeing who I could connect with that evening that I could do something for. Something that would be very easy for me to do, but that would be very helpful to the other person.
And in fact, I played that game. And every time I play it, I manage to find someone. And sometimes it’s just a connection – I send an email introducing two people who I think might be interested in each other’s work or something about each other. Something very small. It doesn’t matter. Or perhaps it’s giving a compliment to someone you see on the street; “Oh my goodness! That’s such a lovely shirt. That color looks so nice on you!” Whatever it is.
As you think about all those people who care about you, think about what you might be able to give as a small, but important, gift to others.
We’re coming to the end of our series on forgiveness. We’ve spent several episodes talking about what forgiveness is and why the heck would we want to bother with it? After all, why would we want to forgive someone who has genuinely wronged us? And if you don’t know the answer to that question yet, you might want to go back and listen to the last episode or two and think about it because who really carries the burden of resentment? Who really carries the burden of anger? Who carries that burden, the offender or the offendee?
And let’s face it, this show is all about lightening our load – lightening our load of resentment, of anger, of guilt and replacing it with all sorts of wonderful, delicious stuff like friendship, connection, comfort, love, happiness, joy, silliness. All sorts of great, wonderful, positive energy. Or simply the energy of light that fills us up in ways that those things never did.
Take a moment to think about what you would like to lighten your load with, what you would like to fill you instead of old negative stuff? What kind of delightful, positive energy would you like to have filling your being? Your belly? Your presence? And as you do that, let’s go ahead and set our intention for today’s episode.
Mine, of course, is to awaken you to the joy and the gifts of this moment and this body and the lives of those around you, of those who you love and who love you, of those that provide you with friendship and who you are a friend to. Feel their presence. Open you heart and share your light with them and feel how your light energy, your life energy, expands and brightens as you do this.
As you know, you’ll get many, many times more out of this program than you put in, but you must put in to get out. So put in a moment of positive energy for yourself and send it to those around you and those fellow journeyers, fellow listeners across space and time to this program. Feel their support as it comes back to you magnified hundreds of thousands of times over.
I’d like to share with you a comment from the blog. Lisa Furlong of Fort Lauderdale, Florida writes, “Renée, from the moment I started listening to your podcast was when I realized your message to me was ‘This is my time, my life.’ And after forty years of endless dieting and quick fixes because of being overweight, am I going to continue this never ending cycle and end up the same or even heavier another ten years from now? Nope. I appreciate myself more than that. I’ve been making one deposit at a time and now 35 pounds are gone from my body without even really trying. Just thinking the right way with tools you gave me to do just that - to be in the now and feel good. You are a shining star, Renée. Thank you so much.”
And thank you, Lisa, for sharing that. And Lisa also shared with me some photos which I will post on my blog so you can see how terrific Lisa looks having shed all that weight through Inside Out Weight Loss.
I’d also like to share with you another comment – an answer to the question I posted; “What is your soul’s gift?” And Pamela writes, “First of all, thank you, Renée. You are truly an angel from the Lord. I have been listening to your podcast for five months. I’ve dropped from 249 pounds to an amazing 198 pounds.” And if my math is right, that’s 51 pounds slimmer. “I have gotten off the couch and am moving. I enjoy everything you have to say and am inspired by others that you’ve helped. I cannot thank you enough. My soul’s gift is to help others. It brings me happiness to see someone smile. I’m a certified Nurses’ Assistant and love my job so much that I’m now pursuing nursing. This is my gift to do for others what they may not be able to do and to help them do what they can, even if this means to just listen to them when they may be having a tough day. Thank you so much, Renée.”
And thank you, Pamela, for sharing that unbelievably inspiring and beautiful comment. I’m so excited about your pursuing nursing, about your pursuing your dreams so that you can help others as you grow and develop yourself. Beautiful.
Let’s take a break now to support our sponsors. As you know, this is a free program that is, in fact, made possible by the generous support of the show’s sponsors. So listen carefully. They have some wonderful offerings for you. This is Renée Stephens and you’re listening to Inside Out Weight Loss on Personal Life Media.
Renée: We’re back now. Before the break we were talking about some inspiring comments left on the blog at PersonalLifeMedia.com/renee. Check it out and post your comments there. I’d love to hear from you. We’ve dedicated the last couple of episodes to forgiveness. And last episode, I took you on a guided journey to get a better perspective or understanding of those that have wronged you, of those that have upset you or angered you. And I’m wondering what that experience was like for you. I’d love to have a comment from you on the blog sharing what your experience was. Has it been helpful to you? Do you feel your load has been lightened as you are lighter?
Today I’d like to take you on another guided journey. But this one, rather than forgiving others, is about forgiving ourselves. You see, the first step in forgiveness is to forgive those who have wronged us because anger and resentment that we carry towards others is really anger and resentment that we carry toward ourselves. “How so?” you think. That can’t be true. That can’t be possible.
And yet, think about it for a moment. If someone offends you, does the offense that they have against you, that they make against you, somehow resonate with you? Do they represent an aspect of yourself, perhaps, that you really don’t like? By forgiving them, we forgive ourselves. I have certainly found that to be true. Whenever I find myself especially annoyed or irked by somebody voicing a strong opinion or saying something that I really don’t like, if I really look inside - which I never want to do, by the way – but if I really do look inside and put aside my ego and my grumpiness and my grouchiness and all the rest of it, I sometimes, maybe all the time, find that maybe there’s a part of me that I see in them that I don’t like so much.
So right now, in this moment, I would like you to make a list – this is going to be really easy to do, I guarantee – make a list of all of the things that you’ve done wrong. Make a list of all of your transgressions, the things that you’ve done that are bad, even the really bad things, the “good-for-nothing, I’m a hopeless scoundrel” things, the “I’m a stupid idiot. Why do I never learn?” things. I know you have that list in your head. I bet you call yourself out on these things all the time – for overeating, for stuffing your face, for laying on the sofa, for having freckles or brown hair or thin or thick or gray hair, for being born.
Last week on our journey we put ourselves in the shoes of those who have wronged us to better understand their perspective. I’d like you to take a moment now and think of someone who’s very fond of you, someone, perhaps, that you admire, perhaps someone who’s been a mentor, a dear friend, a family member, someone that you respect. And if there isn’t someone in your immediate experience that comes to mind, you can choose someone that you may not even know – a public figure, perhaps, someone that you admire.
It could be someone who’s alive today or a historical figure. Really, anyone that you respect whose opinion you value, and if that person were to give you their opinion you would really listen, you would take it in very deeply. You know people like that. When they say something, it just goes right in. You really let it in at a very profound level because you respect their opinion so much. There’s something about them that inspires trust.
So as you allow yourself to become present, as you allow yourself to sink back in to this moment and this experience, perhaps just listening to the sound of my voice, noticing the feel of your body as it rests or moves, even noticing what you’re seeing with your eyes open or closed. If you’re driving a car right now then you should pause this recording and pull the car over or wait to continue listening until you can really allow yourself to surrender and let go in an environment that’s completely safe for you - perhaps in your bedroom, in a park, in a place in nature, wherever that might be for you.
And I’d like you to really think more and more about the person that you’ve chosen, the person that pops into your mind. If you’re not sure that you have the right person, just take the first one that has occurred to you. That’s always the right one.
Remember, you can re-listen to this episode and this journey at any time and use a different person if you like. But for now, take that person that you’ve chosen, that person that you admire and respect and think of them. See them in your mind’s eye. See them clearly. Allow yourself to really notice the quality of their skin, the color of their hair, perhaps you can see their chest rising and falling softly as they breathe. Allow your representation of this person to be three-dimensional – moving, color – as if this person were fully present here now.
And get a sense of their energy, of the feeling that you have when you’re around this person. Perhaps being around this person inspires a feeling of comfort, of relaxation, of the ability to completely be yourself. Perhaps there’s a buzz to their energy, you get a charge around them. There’s something special about their energy. Whatever it is, whatever that quality or qualities are, notice them. Be aware.
And as you’re noticing, I’d like you to allow yourself to begin to float up out of your body. Allow yourself to begin to float up out of your body as if you were on the ceiling or in the sky floating on a cloud, looking below at yourself. There you are. You notice your hair and your clothing and your body and how you’re positioned, where you’re seated or standing. And you just look at yourself, looking down at yourself. There you are doing what you’re doing, listening to this episode.
And then you also notice this other person, this person that you respect or admire, this person who you know would have wonderful advice for you – perhaps a friend, family member, someone you admire. And you see them. You have a sense of their being from this place, your perch on high, in a cloud or somewhere way above.
And then for a moment, I’d like you to go ahead and float down inside of this other person. See from their eyes. Feel what it’s like to be in their body, to have their history, to have their perspective on the world, their relationships, their age and body. Notice what it’s like to be this person. Notice what your motivations are, and your dreams, and thoughts, and interests are. And as you are even more fully in this person, perhaps there are some things that surprise you. Perhaps there’s a knowing. Whatever it is, simply allow yourself to absorb that, be present to it to get a sense of it. Whether or not you’re sure that it’s right doesn’t matter. The important thing is to simply see through their eyes.
And as you see through their eyes, see yourself. See that person with those transgressions, that person who makes those mistakes, who struggles in that way, or has those challenges. And from this perspective of this person that you admire and respect, notice what you notice. Does this person judge you for your lapses? Does this person condemn you for your imperfections? Or does this person see you in a deeper way? Does this person perhaps see into your heart and into your soul and understand that at any moment in time, you’re doing the very best that you can? Perhaps this person gets that at a deep level, that at any moment in time, you are making the decisions that work best for you under those circumstances. And listen as you, as this person, think or say something to yourself. What is that message for you?
And once you’ve said that message, float back up out of this other person, take a glimpse from the sky of these two people and float back down into yourself as you hear these words, this message, and it sinks in at such a deep level. Perhaps you can even feel a tingling, a chill, of the truth of their perspective.
I don’t know how that might change you for the better, how that might affect you as you feel those ripple effects throughout your life, but perhaps, even for a moment, there’s a glimmer of compassion and forgiveness towards that person that is you, that is an imperfectly perfect human being, who learns through mistakes like every other human being on the planet.
And with that you can bring yourself back to full conscious awareness. If you’re drifting off to sleep, just allow yourself to continue to drift. Otherwise, feel yourself fully present back in your body awake, alert, aware, refreshed, and renewed.
That brings us to the end of our show today. Thank you for being present. If you’d like to take your journey to the next level, to take it deeper, there are many ways that you can do that. Join the Yahoo group, which you can access through a link on my blog at PersonalLifeMedia.com/renee. You can also purchase one of the downloadable guided journeys available for sale on my site at MindForBody.com under the products section. These journeys will take you even deeper.
And of course, while you’re at the blog or while you’re on iTunes, we’d love to know who you are by having you complete the listener’s survey or enter your five star review on iTunes.
This is your host, Renée Stephens and I am on a mission to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet, enabling you to share your soul’s gifts because there are so many of them. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves. Take good care.
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