Episode 51: How to Enjoyably Overcome Another Law of Attraction Pitfall
Learn another common question that can get in the way of attracting our dreams, and how to easily navigate ourselves towards what we want, while feeling good now. Plus, learn how to turn cleaning out your closet into an opportunity to attract the body of your dreams, and hear from a listener who is turning her relationship with food from living to eat to eating to live life to the fullest.
Woman : This program is brought to you by Personallifemedia.com
Renée Stephens : Welcome, to “Inside Out Weight Loss”. I am your host Renée Stephens and together we are accessing and adjusting the control panel of your mind, body system. Bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey. And fullness to the rest of your life.
On todays show, how to endurably overcome another common Law of attraction pitfall and the magic of feeling good now.
Amazingly, in that moment, when I saw no way out and yet, I had set my intention from magic. And I had also set my intention and I had set my dream of what I wanted, what was some space in my schedule and yet, still the ability to serve all of the people that I feel, that I have a knowing, that I am meant to serve.
And so, I reached that darkest moment, where there seem like, there was no way out. And amazingly in that precise moment, was when the opening occurred.
So, there is a very positive intent that she wants to change and not be in the place that she is in now, where her clothes don't fit her because she has gained weight. I am thinking that, may be a few of you can relate to that. I certainly can.
So, the whole closet clearing episode for her was really very stressful because, of this voice that got kicked off, why are you so out of control?, why are you such a failure?, why haven't you been able to get your act together.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if; I just love that question. Wouldn't it be wonderful if, fill in the blanks, wouldn't it be amazing if, I had that great body? Wouldn't it be amazing if, I were naturally slender? Wouldn't it be amazing if, I didn't even care about sweets, or bread, or carbs or cheese or, whatever the heck it is, right? Wouldn't it be amazing, if....
Lets go ahead and drop inside, check in, be present with you, its time to arrive to this show, to this time in your life, to this space that you are creating for you.
Whether you are resting or walking, or running, or exercising or lying in bed. Simply become present to your current experience. Become present to your breath, that's always there to support you. Whether you are aware of it or not. Your breath is there as you breath in [inhales], and let go [exhales]. And you can simply bring your awareness to breathing in positive energy, to breathing in renewal, through this show.
Understand, that you are here for a reason, its no accident. There's something here for you. So allow yourself to become present and open to receive whatever that might be. What thought emerges for you? Perhaps, it's a word or an image, that will be your intent for todays episode.
Allow something to arise within you. As you simply focus on the sound of my voice, and your current experience. Where you are in this journey? What your dreams and desires are? Become present and aware and allow that intention to emerge.
I would like to share with you a small story. I am just back from a weekend of masterminding in South Florida with a couple of other really wonderful, talented coaches, who are friends and colleagues of mine. And as we went in to that weekend of masterminding for our businesses and our work. And how to take our work to the next levels. I set my intention that very first day, before the first session; I set my intention.
And the word that arose for me, from my intention was magical. I simply set my intention for the experience of masterminding in this beautiful environment that we were in, to be magical. And as the time progressed, I reached a point where I was feeling truly trapped. I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the amount of work on my plate, unable to spend enough time with my family or doing the things that I enjoy. Really feeling completely trapped and seeing no way out of the situation that I was in.
And amazingly, in that moment, when I saw no way out and yet I had set my intention from magic. And I had also set my intention and I had set my dream of what I wanted, what was some space in my schedule and yet, still the ability to serve all of the people that I feel, that I have a knowing, that I am meant to serve.
And so, I reached that darkest moment, where there seem like there was no way out. And amazingly, in that precise moment, was when the opening occurred.
And throughout the rest of the weekend, I envisioned and planned a completely new way of interacting with you, the listeners, with those that I meant to serve, that will both allow me to reach more of you with a deeper level of work, a deeper level of transformation.
It will allow me to reach far more people, while allowing me to have balance in my life and spend enough time with my family and friends and those that are important to me.
This amazing plan appeared to me and I am so exited about it. And it happened just at that moment, when the things seem the most darkest, and the most intractable. And all because I believe, I set my intention for a magical weekend. And it was completely magical for me. As I look back, I am amazed at the opening that occurred, and I also had my dream in mind. I knew what I wanted. Even though it seemed completely impossible for me.
And so I share this with you. As you are setting your intention. As you dream your dreams that seemed completely impossible to you. To just allow yourself to dream them anyway. Allow yourself to dream those dreams of having that slim, fit, healthy body. Perhaps having a wonderful loving relationship. Perhaps having children in your life, or wonderful job, or whatever it is that is exiting to you.
Go ahead and allow yourself to dream those dreams. Because if you don't, no one else will. We will talk more about this later in the episode.
I would like to share with you now, a listener comment that came in on the blog at personalifemedia.com/renee. And this listener writes - “ Although I am not a seriously overweight person, I have been thinking that I am too obsessed with food and overeating. Of course I knew, I would feel bad after overeating. But at the moment of eating, I could think nothing but piling the food in front of me until I felt too full to even move around. Too full to take my little walk back to the dorm. I got over this habit through the use of entitled person but I was constantly afraid that I might get it back. And now, I have Renée's help.
You are truly a star. I have learned to love myself more and more. And be thankful for the smallest things in my life. And now I know that I am not living life to eat, but rather I eat to live my life to the fullest. Thanks, Renée.
I just to love to read this comments and hear how this show, and hear how my work is helping you live your lives to the fullest, right now and right here. Because really, that's all that we have, this present moment. The past and the future, when you think about it, exists only in our minds. You can't point to them, you can't touch them, you cant feel them apart from through your memory. There is nothing tangible about the past or the future. The only thing that you can experience is in the present moment.
And so, if you are experiencing misery in the present moment, because you haven't got something in the future that, quite frankly, how could you even know if you were going to get it in the future, or that you didn't have it in the past. Isn't that a big waste of time and precious life energy.
How about enjoying the journey now? So that you can, then create from that place of enjoying now and enjoying later. More on that later, as well.
Last episode, we started by addressing a common pitfall to attracting and using the Law of attraction. It's a question that most of us have asked ourselves time and again. And it seems like a really good question. It makes sense to us because we believe that if we understand the origins of a problem, then that would be the first step to change.
I was working with a client yesterday. In fact, who was thinking about her self-critical voice, about how tough she is on herself. She would never talk to a friend that way she speaks to herself. And she was beating herself up, over and over and over again because, she was cleaning out her closet and finding that there are whole bunch of clothes didn't fit her. This is a new client of mine. And I said, “what
is the positive intention for that beating yourself up”? And she said, “ well, the whole idea of course , is that it inspires me and motivates me to get my act together and change”.
So, there was a very positive intent that she wants to change and not be in the place that she is in now, where her clothes don't fit her because she has gained weight. I am thinking that, may be a few of you can relate to that. I certainly can.
So, the whole closet clearing episode for her was really very stressful because, of this voice that got kicked off, why are you so out of control? Why are you such a failure? Why haven't you been able to get your act together. And there is that question that we talked about last episode, why, why, why ,why, why?
And what was the effect for her asking that question? What would it be for you if you asked yourself that question? Well, it made her feel horrible. And what does she do when she feels horrible? She goes and eats, that's what we do ,that's why we are listening to this show. Because that's the connection that we have made, is that, oh my God the more horrible I feel, the more I need to eat.
Well the problem is, that then, you are now making the problem even worse because now you are feeling bad and you need something to make you feel good right away.
And so, we talked about changing that voice, about acknowledging that, that voice truly wanted something good for her, which was, to allow her to change, to motivate her to take positive action to change her situation.
And yet, she had to acknowledge that she tried this route many, many times, for years, in fact. And it always had the same negative effect. Basically, it wasn't working.
So we have to recognize that if we have been using the same technique, the same strategy over and over, and over again . Is it working or not? And in her case, and certainly for me when I was in my struggle, it really didn't work and I can tell you what, If I did it today, it wouldn't work now either. It just doesn't work.
So what about other techniques that would work even better? What are the options? What could be the opposite of being self-critical.? What's the opposite of beating yourself up ? Lets think about it[ Hmmm]
May be it has something to do with being nice to yourself. What an idea? May be it has something to do with forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is really about getting to that level of intent. That level beneath your actions of intent, of where the desire was for particular behavior. And so forgiving yourself is giving yourself a break. It's saying, you know what, the strategy , all wrong not working, but you were coming from a good place. You want the best for me. I want the best for me and so I forgive myself.
And that's the beginning, thats the opening. That's the beautiful alternative to the “why” question. It's coming to that place of making yourself feel good by bringing compassion to yourself, and understanding. It's time for us to take a break now to support our sponsors. When we come back, we talk about another common pitfall to attracting our dreams in to our lives. This is Renée Stevens and you are listening to inside out weight loss on Personal Life Media.
Renée Stevens : We are back now. Before the break, we were talking about that common question that we ask ourselves that takes us in the wrong direction. And causes us to feel bad, so that we then, overeat. That question that we discussed last episode was the question of “Why?”
And the answer is, the alternative is, the antidote is, to move to a place of making ourselves feel good, of forgiving ourselves and bring compassionate understanding to ourselves and our own behaviors. By going to a level of understanding that we really, truly, only want to make ourselves feel good.
Now there is the magic of the Law of attraction. There is Law of attraction says, “feel good now”. It's all about feel good now. It simply says that if we want to attract our dreams in to reality, we should feel good now. And that will help our reality of the future, become our reality of the now. And this Law has worked for me again, and again, and again in the most amazing ways.
For example, how do you think I got this Podcast show, that is the number one Itune Podcast on Itune and has been, since about three weeks after its debut. By using the Law of attraction. And feeling good now about the work that I am doing and it's importance in the world. By focusing, not on the fact that before I had this show, I didn't have a show and I wasn't reaching very many people. But in fact, on the fact that people I was reaching were having amazing transformations in their lives.
I had to bring my thoughts to the things that would make me feel good. And its the same thing about our bodies,. If we spend our time thinking about, oh my gosh, my clothes and my closet don't fit me, if they are a downer for us, they are just going to create those negative thoughts, will create more negativity and result likely in overeating.
On the other hand, if we think about the things that we really like about ourselves. For example, this client is a very athletic woman and she says, you know, I really respect the fact that I am muscular, have a lot of muscle, I am really, really fit.
Awesome, by changing the focus to the things that she feels good about, she will change her body and her life.
So lets get down in to the nitty-gritty of this manifesting business. Lets get down at that street level, that life day to day level. We have the big dream. And we talked earlier in the episode about being bold enough to dream the big dream. Being bold enough to say, yes I want that body that is slim, and fit and healthy.
Even though, the critical voice comes in and says, “even though I have never lost weight successfully in the past, or every time I have lost weight I have gained it back, or I have a slow metabolism, or my mother is overweight, and my father is overweight, and my dog is overweight, and it must be impossible for me therefore”. Yady yady ya
A lots of negativity can come up, but we put on that aside. And we allow ourselves to dream the big, glorious dream; which is having the best body that you can have. Having your body at its very best. Being slim and fit and healthy in the way the you want it to be.
We give ourselves full permission to dream that dream, and as we give ourselves that permission, we allow ourselves to feel the feelings of that wonderful having of that body. In fact, we allow ourselves to let those feeling permeate our very being. Oh my God, wouldn't that be wonderful? Wouldn't it be wonderful, if? I just love that question.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if, fill in the blanks, wouldn't it be amazing if, I had that great body? Wouldn't it be amazing if, I were naturally slender? Wouldn't it be amazing if, I didn't even care about sweets, or bread, or carbs or cheese, or whatever the heck it is, right? Wouldn't it be amazing, if?
And just allowing ourselves to linger to take a Jacuzzi in that wonderful feeling. Allowing it to massage any knots of disbelief right out of our muscles and relax us in to the enjoyment of feeling good now as if we already had it.
Now, we are really in this wonderful place and then another little voice pops up and its not the critical voice. It's a different voice. And this voice, it isn't the voice that asks the question “why”, the question we have just talked about. In fact, it's the voice that says, how? How the heck are you gonna do that?
Now “How” is a really interesting question, It's a question that can be extremely helpful and absolutely necessary at times. And at other times, it can get in the way. Let me give you an example. When I first became aware that my mission was to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet. Enabling others to share their souls gift.
When I first came aware of eradicating the weight struggle from the planet. That voice was their, it said, “ How the heck do you think you are gonna do that? You are just one person, sitting in San Francisco, with this small private practice. How the heck are you gonna do that?” And that kind of got me down when I started thinking about it. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even share that mission with anybody for the longest time. I was so shy about it. So if one would ask me, “what do I do?” I would be like, errrrr, oh! don't ask me. What do you do? Lets talk about something else. I was so shy and bashful about it. Until, I realized, that the mission, my mission was finding me. I really didn't have a choice about it. And I would get distracted by, how the heck am I gonna do that?
Well the ways that's it happening now for me, I could not even have imagined. Could I have imagined that would have this show, when I was doing weekly conference calls that seven or eight people would show up to. What I have now, seemed impossible then. Could I have imagined that weight watchers, which is the largest weight loss organization on the planet, would hire me, as a Behavioral weight loss expert. I couldn't have imagine that. And yet here I am, all of the sudden, through a couple of quantum leaps[?] , reaching more people that I ever dreamed that I could.
Now If, I had gotten bog down in the “How”, none of this would have happened. So I felt the dream, I enjoyed the dream, and all I did was, think about the next step in front of me. What is the next step? When I saw an opportunity for the show, yes. Did I pick up the phone an make a phone call? Absolutely, I did. But I didn't get bog down in the “How”.
So, whats the key to all this? What's the key. It can seem kind of like, walking a tight rope between planning and being realistic, and taking steps to get where you wanna go. That's all the stuff I learned back in business school, and being in that dream.
Well, Law of attraction gives us an answer. The Law of attraction answer is - “check in ,with how you feel in your body at each step of the way”. And so when I would sit down to create a plan, if the plan seemed overwhelming to me, if the plan made me upset, stop planning.
I wanted to come back and do those things in front of me that made me feel good, that had positive energy associated with them. And with food and exercise its really, really easy. Because, that on the ground, the street level stuff is really simple.
The street level on the ground stuff is, make sure that you have healthy food available to you. How does that make you feel in your body to think that healthy food would be easily available for you. May be thats one of your dreams, and you think, okay well, the on the ground stuff that makes me feel good is going to the grocery store and stocking up on precut vegetables. May be , the on the ground stuff that makes you feel good is, joining a gym, or going to the gym, or making a date with a friend to walk, to run, to do something fun, to go dancing, whatever it is. To take a dance class, its hard not to have fun in the dance class, as far as I can tell.
So, the idea is, the practice, the spiritual practice of Law of attraction is noticing, what makes you feel good, and what makes you feel bad. I'll give you one more example because we are out of time for today. But as you may know by now, I love to run, and I especially love to run in the park. And recently, I was running in the park and my mind was wondering as it does. All sorts of thoughts come through my mind which is part of what I enjoy. Just letting those thoughts go. And I noticed that I would be running faster at times, and slower at times. There would be times when I felt like, my goodness! I am running so fast. Whats happened here? I felt like I was supercharged. And other times, when it seems so hard to put one foot in front of the other.
And finally, after at a long time of not noticing, I noticed that the thoughts that I was thinking right before the speeding up or the slowing down, seemed to be connected, seemed to be causing the speeding up. So when I was thinking something that really exited me, that really jazz me ,running would become really easy Boo, boo, boo ,boo bup, off I go. Oh my goodness! I feel like I am the energizer bunny going up this hill. And then I would think about something negative, and oh my God, how much more time do I have? When will this be over? Oh my God!
And so started to tune in, to the effects that my thoughts had on my energy levels. That is the practice in the present moment. Noticing, how your thoughts effect your energy level? How you thoughts make you feel? More on this in the next episode of “Inside Out Weight Loss”. Because we are way overtime just get so exited, there is so much great stuff to share with you.
If you love this show, please consider going in to Itunes and setting in the search box, “Inside Out Weight Loss”. Go in to the show page, scrolling down and clicking on the link to enter your 5 star review. The more 5 star reviews we get, the better off we are. And the more the show is featured by Itunes, and the more listeners that we could attract. Thank you so much for everyone, who has already done that. Also, I have some wonderful and exiting new programs about to be launched. Perhaps, by the time this show goes live, there will be a link to them on the blog and they will also be available at my website mindforbody.com. By the way, the first place that I go, when I am looking to find out what's on your mind is the yahoo group. The first place I go is, when I am looking for someone to help me out, to join my team is, the yahoo group.
So, its a great place to connect with other listeners. Its a great place to support and be supported. And I will be announcing my new programs, first, on the yahoo groups and on the blog. So be sure to check in at the yahoo group, which you can access at personallifemedia.com/renee.
This is your host, Reneé Stevens, and I am on a mission to eradicate the weight struggle from the planet, enabling you to share your soul’s gift. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves. Take good care.
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