Episode 46: Guided Journey to a New Best Friend
If food has been your best friend, reliably there whenever you need it, then no wonder you haven’t wanted to give it up! On today’s show, Renee takes you through a guided journey that both honors the role food has played, and creates many more new best friends, that do all food did, plus a whole lot more.
Renee Stephens: Welcome to Inside Out Weight Loss. I'm your host Renee Stephens, and together we're accessing and adjusting the control panel of your mind-body system, bringing ease and joy to your weight loss journey, and fullness to the rest of your life.
On today's show: how food became our best friend in the first place, and a guided journey that honors that friendship, while you find many new even better best friends.
If you want to create something in your life- a slim, fit, strong. healthy, vibrant, balanced, flexible body, for example, you first have to create space for it. What do I mean by that? I mean you have to start with a blank canvas. We have to let go to let in. So let's think about this for a minute. You may be wondering if food has been your best friend, how the heck did food become your best friend? When did this bond happen, and how is it that you are left with it? It's kind of interesting to think about this because often what happens is that when we are younger, again often very, very young in fact, perhaps when we're children, we may decide, we may come up with the creative idea that food could help us.
Now as your mind identifies the many things that it is or could be for you, where the light shines, the new best friends you may decide that you want many. More than one. And so you imagine what it would be like if the same brightness were magnified.
It's time to become present with ourselves, to arrive and be here in this place and time, and in this experience. The experience of listening with our ears, and perhaps even, if you decide to, listening with our hearts and our spirits. Being open to transformation. Open to release, to letting go and letting in. Because let's face it, if you want to create something in your life, a slim, fit, strong, healthy, vibrant, balanced, flexible body, for example, you first have to create space for it. What do I mean by that? I mean you have to start with a blank canvas. We have to let go to let in. This is what happens in nature. First the crab sheds its old shell before the new one can form. The snake sheds its skin so that it can grow. In the Fall the trees shed their leaves to prepare for the new growth in the Spring. So as we enter Fall, I invite you to align yourself with nature, and let go, to create space for the new. Let go of old habits, let go of old thoughts that no longer serve you. Let go of old beliefs that have been holding you back. Let go of old grudges and resentments. Because who does that stuff really way down? Who carries it? The person who offended you? Or do you carry it? The reality is, that if it's your grudge, you're the one carrying the suitcase. Asking the other person to do something so that you no longer carry the grudge, is like asking them to put down a suitcase that you're carrying. Remember from an earlier episode, when we talked about carrying those suitcases? Sometimes we're carrying these suitcases, these heavy, big suitcases, one on either side, we carry them for so long that we forget that we're carrying them. Heck, sometimes we even put wheels on them to make it easier to lug them around. But at the end of the day, they're still with us wherever we go. And if we're holding them, they're so heavy, and our hands are calloused, our shoulders are hunched from the effort, but we've forgotten that they're this way because we've been carrying a heavy load. And more importantly, we've forgotten that we can simply put them down if we choose to. We can give them away in their entirety. They can become a surprise gift to someone more needy. Imagine that. Imagine someone else opening them up and saying, "Ah! This is just what I had wanted!" Or if we choose, we can unpack them, and sort through and let go of the things that we no longer need, and reclaim the ones that we do. It's all up to us. We get to decide. So I invite you to take your clue from nature. Simply tune in to the energy around you, of the days becoming shorter and perhaps cooler depending on where you live, and as the trees let go of their leaves, each time that you see a leaf floating down off of a tree, you can let your sub-conscious mind take that as a cue to let go of what you no longer need, creating space for growth, creating space for your dreams, for the body you've been dreaming of, for the life that you've been dreaming of. So in this spirit, go ahead and set your intention for this episode. Is it to let go? Is it to release? Is it to put down those heavy suitcases, and give that gift to someone else who might need it? To drop what is no longer serving you, making room for the new. And of course while we're in this place, let's take that moment to connect with all the other listeners of this show across space and time. Support them as you feel their support coming back to you like a wave of compassion and understanding that washes away that which you no longer need, leaving you fresh and refreshed for the new.
We recently did a series of shows on self acceptance, and I wanted to share with you one of the comments from the blog. I posted on the blog about self acceptance with, I have to say, a picture of an extraordinarily adorable pet, actually the pet of a client of mine. And one of the comments that came in from Living Rainbow Color, she writes:
"My pet was exactly the image I used when I did the guided journey. My long dead collie was the easiest image to visualize unconditional love. He was standing on the floor looking at me like he always did, and a split second later, I had my arms around him and could feel every hair on his body, and could see each beautiful color in his coat. The first time I did the journey, I couldn't put myself in his place. The second time, I wrapped my arms around myself. Now I can grab the visualized me, and give me a tight squeeze, and really start to feel the love. This is a wonderful, wonderful transition, which brings tears to my eyes."
And Living Rainbow Color, I'll let you know that it brings chills to my body just reading your comment aloud. Thank you so much for sharing.
Last week on the show, we were talking about what to do if what's been holding you back is that you don't want to give up your best friend. So let's think about this for a minute. You may be wondering if food has been your best friend, how the heck did food become your best friend? When did this bond happen? And how is it that you are left with it? It's kind of interesting to think about this, because often what happens is that when we are younger, again often very, very young in fact, perhaps when we are children, we may decide, we may come up with the creative idea that food could help us. In fact, food may be the only thing that we have available in times that are difficult. Because when we're young, we have our parents. Our parents are the entire world for us. We must agree with our parents, we must make them happy to a certain extent because our very survival depends upon it. We really don't know much of a world outside of our parents, and we typically have no idea of what other options there are if we're struggling. Now I'm not talking about only highly dysfunctional households, but even households here there's a little bit of discomfort or little bit of disfunction, some emotional issues going on. And for some of my clients, those issues have been quite severe, like abuse, either physical, sexual, or even verbal abuse can be very hurtful to a child. And if we don't have access to a compassionate ear at that time, if we don't have any perspective on a difficult situation, then we think, " What could I possibly do to make myself feel better?" and perhaps you have the idea of food. Certainly in the media food is associated by advertisers often feeling good, with fun. So no wonder we turn to food, because it's certainly been suggested to us again and again and again when we are in a highly suggestible state. But I'm not here to blame the media, because the media is actually only a small portion, and it has no effect on us if we have a good home life, if we have a good foundation of a wonderful, supportive home life. But that's not the case for all of us. You may know from my story that in my household, my father was an alcoholic. He wasn't an unfunctional, disfunctional...how shall I say this? He was able to provide well for the family and be very successful in his career, but the family suffered from his rapid and frequent mood swings, and his unpredictability. So I didn't have a friend available to me all the time. But I did have food, and I had a model of food as a friend or something that could help me, because my mother had been using it in that way. So it seemed like a pretty decent solution, given the availability of solutions, which as far as I could tell at the time was nothing. It was the only thing that I had available to me. Now think about this. That's compounded in a situation where you don't feel terribly secure, especially in situations where there is a fear of our bodies attracting unwanted attention, typically from the opposite sex, as in cases of sexual abuse or molestation, or even cases that wouldn't qualify as abuse or molestation, but were hurtful or upsetting for us. And in those cases, there's a double bonus with food. The double bonus is that: one, it's comforting to us in the moment, and that's as far as we can see at the time, and that if we become larger, often those sexual advances will stop. It will solve the problem for us. So it's a really creative and an effective solution given the paucity of other solutions. There aren't other solutions out there. So we have this solution, the solution of eating, which makes us feel good in the moment, and has the extra bonus of reducing unwanted advances from the opposite sex. So it's easy to understand how food could have become our best friend. It's with us when we are at our loneliest and most vulnerable, and it's there offering instant gratification.
Unfortunately, the side effects are that the gratification lasts only a few moments. Seconds, maybe minutes at most. And then we have to deal with the unwanted consequences. The consequences of our bodies becoming bigger, of having health problems, of not fitting into our clothes, of feeling badly about ourselves, and perhaps the worst of all, which is the guilt and self-recrimination that result from it. So how do we change? How do we create a new best friend? It's time for us to take a break now to support our sponsors. And when we come back, I'll be taking you on a guided journey to change your best friend. In fact, get more, better best friends than food ever was to you while still allowing you to enjoy nourishment from your food. This is Renee Stephens, and you're listening to Inside Out Weight Loss on Personal Life Media.
Renee Stephens: We're back now. Before the break, we were talking about how food became our best friend in the first place. And now, I'd like to invite you to drop inside, to again become even more present with your current experience. To just allow yourself to sink into the now, into this moment, and this body, and to relax. To relax in that way that you know how to relax when wonderful things happen. Of course, if you're driving a car, or operating any kind of other heavy machinery, it's a good idea to either pull over, to stop operating that machinery, or to pause and resume this journey at a time when you are able to focus and truly relax and drop deep inside to that place of wonderful, positive transformation.
And as this state and this relaxation grows and builds within you, perhaps it feels warm or cool, like a blanket wrapped around you, that simply takes you to that place that you feel so comfortable, so deliciously relaxed. Sinking into yourself, it may even evoke feelings or images of a special place for you. A special place where you feel this way or have felt this way. And as that memory becomes more real to you, and you find yourself in it, I'd like you to begin to think about food. That's right. I simply want you to think about food and food as you have been thinking about it when you have been craving it, or enjoying it. You may notice that you have an image in front of you. It maybe of a particular type of food, it may be of multiple foods. Whatever it is and wherever it is, just notice that the way that you see or represent food when you really have the craving or that desire for it, because you look to it for comfort, or relaxation, or entertainment, or whatever it is that you like about food. Thinking of food as your best friend, as the light in the middle of a boring day. As comfort in a moment of loneliness. See it now and feel that pull and attraction. And as you see food in this way, I want you to notice the brightness that it has. And I wonder what it would be like for you if that very brightness that food has when you think of it as your best friend, what it would be like if the food itself were to fall away from the brightness. If the food itself were to fall away from the brightness and other things were to move in to the place that food used to occupy. They move in and they occupy that place in exactly the same way that food used to. And these other things, there may be one that comes to mind now, or there may be many. They may be clearly defined, or not so much to your conscious mind, while your sub-conscious mind knows exactly what I'm talking about, because you realize that you do have inside this desire to have friends, to have best friends, to have that light, that excitement or that comfort, from so many different sources available to you in exactly the moment that you need them. And because of that realization and understanding, you notice what it's like when that light, when that brightness spreads to all sorts of other areas of your life. Now I don't know what they are for you, but I do know that for one client of mine, she said, "Ah! It's the connection with other people. When I go into a social situation, the brightness is in that true connection with others. That's the brightness for me. That's what I enjoy."
And for another, it was the creativity, the brightness is in the expression of her creativity. Sometimes that expression is through something artistic. For this one client it was jewelry making. For another client, it's painting, or art. For others, it's creative problem solving, or creative generosity.
Now as your mind identifies the many things that it is or could be for you, where the light shines, the new best friends, you may decide that you want many. More than one. And so you imagine what it would be like if this same brightness were magnified, or you could even take the brightness from the food and it were to become some sort of beautiful symbol. A symbol that represents all of the things, the positive things that food has done for you in the past. And it lets go of the things, the negative things. You simply take the positive pieces. The light and the brightness, and the color of food of the best parts, while the food itself falls away, and all of that begins to spin around in front of you, becoming a symbol or an image that you can see. And as that symbol or image comes into focus, as the spinning continues and finally produces this thing that you see in front of you, you notice that there's one, and then two, and it begins to double, and then become many- four, eight, sixteen, thirty two and sixty four, they double and double and double, and you take them, all of them, you take your arms, and you toss them out into your future. You toss them out not just into your direct future, but all of the twists and turns and possible paths of your future. As you see yourself finding these in the most delightful places and times. Throw a few out there that are wonderful surprises for you if you enjoy surprises. And if you like predictability and comfort and routine, notice that they've landed in exactly those places where you love routine the most and benefit the most from it. And these wonderful symbols are out there. They're all over the paths of your future. Of your possibilities. Even spreading and affecting perhaps others in your life. You see them there so that when you come back, and think about where the brightness and the color, where the light is in your life, what excites you in the middle of a boring day, you see something new that you may not yet even fully know how wonderful it will be as you discover it.
Tonight and tomorrow, and all of the days and weeks and months and years and decades that follow, it's almost as if finding this is finding you in a place of connection. In a place that you love to be, when you need it most.
And so, you take your time and come back to the present moment. In your own time and in your own way, you come back to be fully present, awake, aware, and alert, refreshed and renewed. Delighted in the knowledge and the understanding that not only have you let go of that which did not serve you, but you have created more of the best of what you have enjoyed in the past. And spread it throughout your future.
That brings us to the end of our show today. Thank you for being present. On the next episode, using the Law of Attraction for weight loss. And remember, if you enjoy this show, get involved. Join the Yahoo! group. there's a link on the blog at personallifemedia.com/renee. Go to iTunes and post your five star review if you haven't done so already. Just put 'Inside Out Weight Loss' into the search box. The show page will come up, and you will be guided to enter your five star review. Each review that's entered boosts the popularity of this show, bringing it to more and more people. You'll know that you're helping with the mission of eradicating the weight struggle from the planet, and enabling others to share their soul's gifts. This is your host, Renee Stephens. Join me as we evolve the world by evolving ourselves. Take good care.