Episode 34: The G-Spot – the Heart of Sexual Pleasure with Deborah Sundahl

Listen Now
RSS: Subscribe
RSS: iTunes

Listen to this interview with Deborah Sundahl, the foremost pioneer and expert in female ejaculation and the G-spot – the very heart of sexual pleasure. She speaks about the ‘Phase II’ of women’s sexual development, which is a whole new level of orgasmic ability. You will hear how to find the G-spot, how to approach it, get acquainted with it, explore it and awaken it to a fuller orgasm and deeper connection to yourself and your partner. Deborah also exposes the damaging myths about female ejaculation and educates us about what it is and where it comes from.

Transcript

Woman: This program, brought to you by PersonalLifeMedia.com, is suitable for mature audiences only and may contain explicit sexual information.

Man: This interview was recorded at the One Taste Center in San Francisco on September 25th, 2007.

[musical interlude]

Marcie Prohofsky: Hi, and welcome to “Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews”. My name is Marcie Prohofsky and I am here at One Taste with Deborah Sundahl. She's the world’s expert in female ejaculation and G-spot and she is here to have a conversation about those two topics. She's also recently come out with her new book called “G-Spot and Female Ejaculation”.

[musical interlude]

Deborah Sundahl: Most women cannot ejaculate with something in there vagina. So all fingers, toys, and penises have to come out and you feel that urge to push and ejaculate. It's best to let what's ever in your vagina out so that you can flow freely.

[musical interlude]

Marcie Prohofsky: So Deborah, I'm curious how you first started this great journey on setting female ejaculation.

Deborah Sundahl: It really came out of my involvement in Women’s Erotica in the mid-80’s which really started here in San Francisco and New York and it had to do with women for the very first time, articulating who they were as erotic beings. We covered all aspects of sexuality back then and the G-spot and female ejaculation is just one of them.

Marcie Prohofsky: So, of all the myriad possibilities, why had you end up in this spot?

Deborah Sundahl: Focusing in female ejaculation and the G-spot?

Marcie Prohofsky: Yes.

Deborah Sundahl: I had a hunch in the early ‘90s, I just followed my intuition. I just suspected that of all those things that we studied - fantasy and role play, swinging and SM and everything, gender-bending, we covered it all. I just felt that the G-spot would be very special, even then I didn’t know why. But now, I do. I call it the second phase in women’s sexual development.

Marcie Prohofsky: What do you mean by that?

Deborah Sundahl: The first phase being in the ‘60s when feminists first got out their vibrators and women started to have orgasms, many for the first time in their lives, at a time when almost 65% of women were not having orgasms. That was really the first phase in modern women sexual development and they're important. We've dropped that rate of orgasm, non-orgasm. But now, we've opened the door to a new level or orgasmic ability and it is through the very heart of our sexual pleasure and that is the G-spot.

Marcie Prohofsky: Tell us more about that. Why is it at the very heart of it?

Deborah Sundahl: It's the very heart because the G-spot has a different nerve than the clitoris and, therefore, a different orgasmic sensation. It is truly one of deep, melting love. It is gooey and wonderful and relaxing and very, very satiating.

Marcie Prohofsky: Hmm. Here we are.

Deborah Sundahl: Here we are.

Marcie Prohofsky: Yes! So what you're describing, it's sounds like slow and dreamy. So is that generally how you advise people to approach, touching the G-spot?

Deborah Sundahl: Absolutely. I recommend do not vibrate the G-spot. It has a different nerve than the clitoris, a whole different orgasmic sensation. Really the way to awaken the G-spot is through touch and that’s where Tantra techniques…

Marcie Prohofsky: You're talking manual…

Deborah Sundahl: …enter the picture. Not just manual, the approach, the whole approach to the G-spot which is to slow down, take a breath, really relax your whole body, breathe in those erotic sensations and breathe them down again. When you do that and you know where your G-spot is located, it really comes alive for you and women find their G-spot and know where it's located and you combine that with Tantra techniques of slowing way down and firming up those erotic sensations throughout your body, then that’s how you really awaken your G-spot.

Marcie Prohofsky: You love this work so much.

Deborah Sundahl: I do.

Marcie Prohofsky: Yes, it's great. It's infectious. Thank you so much.

Deborah Sundahl: You're welcome.

Marcie Prohofsky: I'm curious for those that aren’t yet infected with enthusiasm for their G-spot because they may just not know where it is. How can they find it?

Deborah Sundahl: It's easy. It's a prostate gland and it surrounds the urethral canal and it starts at the outside opening and goes proximately two inches along that urethral canal and you feel it to the roof of the vagina.

Marcie Prohofsky: So someone’s at home and they know their ambitious to find this and explore, so how do you really advise? What are a couple of real simple tips that they can really start to nurture a relationship?

Deborah Sundahl: A relationship with their G-spot.

Marcie Prohofsky: Exactly. Yes.

Deborah Sundahl: So the very first thing to do is sit down in front of a big mirror, spread your labial lips, push out with your vaginal muscles and take a look at your G-spot. You can see it, you can see it. When you use your vaginal muscles to push out, you can literally see the ridges of your G-spot.

We've told that it hasn’t existed. So it's literally difficult for us to even see it. So that’s a perceptual barrier that we can break by just taking a look, by knowing that we do have one. We've been told that it doesn’t exist, so we doubt that we even have one. Just knowing it exists, taking a look and getting acquainted with it.

Marcie Prohofsky: Right. It feels like that’s--at least half of your work is just busting that myth that it doesn’t exist.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes.

Marcie Prohofsky: You started from there.

Deborah Sundahl: Definitely. It has been the last 10 or 15 years is always fighting that myth that it doesn’t exist. But the medical profession finally declared in 2001, there is such an organ called the female prostate. So we know it's alive and fully functioning and is the heart of our G-spot and our sexuality.

Marcie Prohofsky: I'm curious, a little bit of a side note. You are so bubbly and vivacious and sparkly and I'm just wondering how many of…

Deborah Sundahl: G-spot fluids of champagne I’ve had?

Marcie Prohofsky: That, too. I'm curious. Yes. It's quite a lot of fluid that comes out of that small little spot.

Deborah Sundahl: It's a liter, you know, water bottle full in one lovemaking session, in a woman who has completely uncorked her feminine fountain.

Marcie Prohofsky: When I was younger, I ejaculated for the first time when I was in college. I remember being so curious that one day I sat in my studio apartment and I actually measured it in two-cup. I was flabbergasted! I'm curious how does that body continue to produce that much fluid?

Deborah Sundahl: How much fluid did you collect, do you remember?

Marcie Prohofsky: It was pretty good.

Deborah Sundahl: More than a cup?

Marcie Prohofsky: More than a cup.

Deborah Sundahl: That’s wonderful.

Marcie Prohofsky: It’s [xx].

Deborah Sundahl: It's very astonishing, isn’t it, of how much comes out. And it has a lovely essence. Did you smell it?

Marcie Prohofsky: Did I smell it, that was a long time ago. You know, it changes. I notice it changes. The smell, sometimes it's more kind of briny and at other times, it's just like more it doesn’t really have any odor at all, just really lighter and fresh.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes, it's very light and fresh. It's just a really uplifting essence really. It does, it changes through a woman’s menstrual cycle.

Marcie Prohofsky: That makes sense.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. At the beginning of her cycle, it has that light fresh feeling. It's cooler, there's actually less ejaculate. Then from ovulation onward, it's hotter, saltier, brinier, and profuse, much more profuse.

Marcie Prohofsky: Interesting. It's an astonishing…

Deborah Sundahl: But you know, where it comes from, scientists really don’t know. There are up to 48 ducts and glands in the female prostate and that’s a lot. It is my opinion that the female prostate continues to make ejaculate. If it's being stimulated, it's making it. That’s its purpose, its function. Its function is endocrine and exocrine - the creation of hormones and the creation of prostatic fluid.

Marcie Prohofsky: So you are bubbly yourself. What it's like to be--I'm just assuming it's a male-dominated field like the bit of study that’s going on out there and here you arrive. Is that a story I'm making up or is there some truth?

Deborah Sundahl: There is kind of like before and after.

Marcie Prohofsky: Before and after you came on board?

Deborah Sundahl: I'm from Minnesota, we're modest.

Marcie Prohofsky: I'm from California, from Los Angeles, not a land of modesty. I'm here to tease that out of you.

Deborah Sundahl: All right. For the last 15 years, it really was dry and horrible, very male-dominated although Alice Ladas and Beverly Whipple and John Perry, those were the three scientists, sexologists who really helped to put the G-spot on the map with their book, “The G-spot” in 1981. That’s two women out of three.

Beverly Lowndes Sevely, the woman who did “Eve’s Secret”, she did the Harvard study--funded by Harvard--to look back at the medical history of what was known about the female prostate and she went back all the way to 1649. So actually there's been a fair amount of women involved in it as there's should be. Yes, a lot of the men do stick out of my mind as saying it's a myth. I know one neurologist said, “The G-the spot really is a UFO.”

Marcie Prohofsky: We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll talk about some of the other myths like is it pee or is it not pee. So stay tuned for that. We'll be back in just a moment.

You can check out this show at www.OneTasteSF.com and also at PersonalLifeMedia.com. My name is Marcie Prohofsky and I'm here with Deborah Sundahl and we'll be back in just a few minutes.

[radio break]

Marcie Prohofsky: Hi, and welcome back. I'm here with Deborah Sundahl, the world’s leading expert on female ejaculation and G-spot. We are going to continue our conversation about female ejaculation.

So, Deborah, what are some of the myths other than the UFO, that the G-spot is like a UFO?

Deborah Sundahl: Myths about female ejaculation?

Marcie Prohofsky: Yes.

Deborah Sundahl: I think the biggest one is the fact that it's urine and that’s a very damaging myth. That myth has actually caused divorce.

Marcie Prohofsky: Really?

Deborah Sundahl: It's caused partners to break up. I mean, basically, the last thing a woman wants to do is pee when she's making love. In many cases, either her or her partner have thought female ejaculation is urine and that can be a really major turn off.

Marcie Prohofsky: Is that happening even today with more information?

Deborah Sundahl: Yes.

Marcie Prohofsky: Wow, that’s [xx].

Deborah Sundahl: Less so than it was, but certainly, there was an absolute blackout on female ejaculation less than 10 years ago, complete blackout.

Marcie Prohofsky: What do you mean by blackout?

Deborah Sundahl: People did not know it existed, they did not even use the word female ejaculate. When I did my video in 1992, I thought for sure I'd be running of town on a rail by feminists even of which I am. It was just so taboo, so silent, so completely and utterly silenced, a blackout.

So when a woman ejaculated, no one had heard about it. Many people freaked out, what else could they think it was? Urine, not because it smelled like urine but because it was watery like urine.

Marcie Prohofsky: There’s been times where there's shame around how high maintenance it is. I mean, it's messy. So do you have any tips on…

Deborah Sundahl: The messiness?

Marcie Prohofsky: …the messy? I don’t like the mess.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes.
 
Marcie Prohofsky: Less painful, more sexy.

Deborah Sundahl: Mostly, I think just to get out of the bed, get away from the mattress. Stand up, go in the bathroom, go in the bathtub, go out in the hardwood floor, the tiled kitchen. Go out in the garden, go out in nature or you can feel like you can flow freely.

Marcie Prohofsky: What's your favorite aspect of it?

Deborah Sundahl: The fact that it truly is orgasm, truly is sacred. It's truly a doorway to a deeper connection with our self and our partner. I believe women and couples have been seeking that especially women, it's emotive by nature. You know, we've been wanting that. It requires for a gentle touch, women have been wanting that. There's really many, many aspects to it that I love.

Marcie Prohofsky: Do you have a favorite story of someone you've helped or a couple that you've assisted in having a shift?

Deborah Sundahl: Not specifically but I have a story that comes to mind that I love. It was a 26-year-old woman call me and she said, “I just ejaculated for the first time. Why? I had not ejaculated before.” So we went through kind of all the various reasons, there's at least a dozen of them, most of them physical. I finally said to her, “Well, what were you doing that night?” She said, “I just got engaged.” You know, a chill run up my spine.

Women often ejaculate when they are feeling emotionally happy and loved and safe. So it made perfect sense to me that that’s when she ejaculated for the first time. It flows out, when you're in love, it flows. You know what, when you're not, it can shut down. So more and more women are learning all the time, percentages are rising.

Marcie Prohofsky: And I bet. Your book can help at that.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes, it could.

Marcie Prohofsky: Female ejaculation and the G-spot, not your mother’s orgasm book.

Deborah Sundahl: No, Ma’am.

Marcie Prohofsky: No, Ma’am. So what's that one little hot something that you're tipping here?

Deborah Sundahl: One hot tip [xx].

Marcie Prohofsky: Yes.

Deborah Sundahl: Most women cannot ejaculate with something in their vagina. So all fingers, toys, and penises have to come out when you feel that urge to push and ejaculate. It's best to let what's ever in your vagina out so that you can flow freely.

Marcie Prohofsky: So that’s sort of an ejectile pushing out is perfectly of the functioning, the mechanics.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. When you need to ejaculate, you'll often feel that need to push out.

Marcie Prohofsky: So do you think a lot of people have just been misinformed that they're trying to reach it through either penile, [xx] or whatever stimulation that they're using and they're actually stimulating inside, hoping that they’ll get something to release?

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. We haven’t know exactly where it is. I talk about that in my lectures and in my videos. They show you exactly where it is, you can see it. We can see it. So yes, without that knowledge, we have literally been poking around in the vagina and somewhere in its deep recesses is this spot.

Marcie Prohofsky: It's really actually very close to the front.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. It surrounds the urethral opening. That’s where it begins, around the urethal opening. That’s what I call the head of the G-spot.

Marcie Prohofsky: So is that the first place if someone should start to explore, whether it's through masturbation or with a partner?

Deborah Sundahl: Yes.

Marcie Prohofsky: Either or.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. I'm all for women exploring their own bodies first and getting to know them. Then it's easier to communicate that to a partner.

Marcie Prohofsky: Tell me about your workshops.

Deborah Sundahl: Well, they are four days. Women get a chance to spend that time just with themselves with the group of other women.

Marcie Prohofsky: So it's women only.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. I do have those some for couples, but the one that we do most often is for women and it's a wonderful opportunity to get time to spend with your G-spot, to see it, to feel it, to start to feel more, in other words awaken it. To learn how to let go and let it flow to ejaculate.

Marcie Prohofsky: Four days, huh?

Deborah Sundahl: Yes. It's like almost too much for four days but women learn a lot there. Also, if they're running into some obstacles with their sexuality which most people do especially when you're first exploring the G-spot, you can run up against a few emotional obstacles. Get those out of the way, work through those, get rid of them, so that you can just really increase your pleasure.

Marcie Prohofsky: So the workshops, are they appropriate for anybody wherever they are in their exploration?

Deborah Sundahl: I would say so, in general, absolutely.

Marcie Prohofsky: So people that are already ejaculating attends…

Deborah Sundahl: Will still learn a lot. There's many women ejaculating but not all women have the pieces of the puzzle like where their G-spot is located, its anatomy or perhaps how it was honored around the world in ancient times or understanding how this organ can be more fully awakened for a fuller G-spot orgasm. Also, how you can use the G-spot massage perhaps in a healing practice or on yourself to move your own obstacles, and again, have greater pleasure. Yes.

There's a lot of things to discover with the G-spot and female ejaculation. Again, that’s why I love talking about it, there's so many facets to it.

Marcie Prohofsky: Speaking of facets, a lot of time people will think of clitoral orgasm, vaginal orgasm. G-spot orgasm, is that the same thing as vaginal? How do you differentiate these different types, maybe even the levels of intensity or sensation? Can you say a few words about that?

Deborah Sundahl: It's multileveled, it's a spectrum and yet I don’t want to make it complicated or mysterious. But it's definitely a process which is good because that means sexuality stays exciting our whole lifetime. The G-spot massage and the G-spot orgasm is full bodied, it starts in your toes and it spreads throughout your body, you know, and often culminates with ejaculation.

Marcie Prohofsky: All right!

Deborah Sundahl: Yes.

Marcie Prohofsky: You just start it [sp]. So we're just about out of time, a quick last question. If you had to really get to the heart of the sort of the spiritual essence of what you believe, female ejaculation is about, what would you say it is?

Deborah Sundahl: The heart of the spiritual essence of what female ejaculation is is love. That’s our pathway to where we want to go as a race which is feeling our bodies and then the space from there on out with love, just the energy of the universe in our beings. So that’s really what I believe.

Marcie Prohofsky: That’s pretty simple.

Deborah Sundahl: Yes, it is. Simple is good.

Marcie Prohofsky: Yes, simple is good. Yes, you keep it simple. So how can people simply find you to get your book, to sign up for a workshop?

Deborah Sundahl: Website, I guess, is the simplest, right?

Marcie Prohofsky: OK, and what is that?

Deborah Sundahl: DebraSundahl.com.

Marcie Prohofsky: All right. Super. Well, thank you so much, it's been a real pleasure.

Deborah Sundahl: It's great to be here and thank you very much for having me.

Marcie Prohofsky: Absolutely. So thank you for tuning in. My name is Marcie Prohofsky and we've just been here with Deborah Sundahl. This is “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” and youcan find this show at www.OneTasteSF.com or PersonalLifeMedia.com. We'll see you later.

[musical interlude]

Woman: Find more great shows like this on PersonalLifeMedia.com