Episode 32: Extended Lovemaking with Patti Taylor

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In this interview with Patti Taylor, Ph.D.,certified sexological body worker, and author of "Expanded Orgasm" and "Enchantment of Opposites", you will learn about Extended Lovemaking. Dr. Taylor explores some of the deeper Tantric principles she has been studying in her research, how to set up a space for extended lovemaking, and what people often find gets in the way as they learn. She shares how it feels for her to expand her orgasm this way, and gives some easy ways to transition from everyday awareness into this heightened Expanded Lover Space.

Transcript

Woman: This program, brought to you by PersonalLifeMedia.com, is suitable for mature audiences only and may contain explicit sexual information.

Man: This interview was recorded at the One Taste Center in San Francisco on May 29th, 2007.

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Beth Crittenden: Hello, and welcome to “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews”. I'm your host, Beth Crittenden, coming to you from One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco. Here at One Taste, we have a Tuesday night weekly forum where we host speakers from across the country in the domains of sensuality, communication, spirituality, purpose, and more. Before the lecture, the guests speak with us for this podcast and on tonight’s edition, we have Dr. Patti Taylor.

She's the leading teacher in the world today of something called Expanded Orgasm. She's been in the field for over 20 years. She's a certified Sexological Bodyworker. She's published two books, they're called “The Enchantment of Opposites” and “Expanded Orgasm”. Dr. Taylor also has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and she's produced a DVD called “Expand her Orgasm Tonight.”

On today’s episode, you'll hear about a deeper Tantric principles that she's been studying since she's been in the field. You'll learn about Expanded Lover Space which is how to create an amazing space for partners, no mater how long you've been together. Well also speak with Dr. Taylor about her process of writing the book where she shares her work and her wisdom as a channel for her lineage. We hope you enjoy this episode of “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews”.

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Beth Crittenden: Without further ado, Patti, let's get right in to Expanded Lover Space.

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, well, that’s my favorite topic, I'm ready.

Beth Crittenden: All right. So how would you define that for someone who’s never heard the terms before?

Dr. Patti Taylor: OK, well, I'd like to contrast Expanded Lover Space with what I call our ordinary everyday reality. So let's say our ordinary everyday reality is what got me here. I got in a car, I drove here or someone drove me here but, normally, I drive around and I have to get in my car and think. My brainwaves are in beta, they're highly functional and, basically, my mind is in control. I'm judging, I'm comparing. I'm looking out for number one, mainly me.

Beth Crittenden: What's going on with your body when the mind is in control?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Pretty much, it's in a state of tension and I would say my adrenalin system is fairly revved up. It's also probably in a state of somewhat chronic attention also because we don’t know how to breathe and let things go which we can talk about, too. So with all of that ordinary space is kind of a very survival-oriented place and it's not a bad thing. We need that to pay the rent sometimes and get things done.

However, that’s not a really great place for lovemaking because the minute we want to make love--whether it be with someone else or even with ourselves--if we want to make love to the divine or to ourselves or with a partner, suddenly, a very different set of skills would be useful. Suddenly, it would be really nice if my body were a very different. I would want to have the ability to feel all of myself, to connect up, to feel all of myself that wants to go deeply into my feelings and to also connect up my emotions to my spirituality.

I also would want to have almost the different kind of thinking, so with my alpha waves, my beta waves, some of my theta waves, which would influence the kind of thoughts that I was having were engaged. Actually, you can shift into what I call Expanded Lover Space, which is sort of what I just described very quickly and you can make a journey into Expanded Lover Space. It's a state progressively. You can make an instant shift and then keep traveling down that path. That’s what I teach people how to do and it's that space where it's wonderful to make love.

Beth Crittenden: What percentage of time do you think people usually spend in either state? You say it's easy to transition. When you start working with people and they start opening up Expanded Lover Space, how does that change people’s reality?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, let's see. I think that before you know it's there, I think people go into Expanded Lover Space by accident when they meet someone and they fall in love. Oh, my God, it is so wonderful. You have those glimpses. Maybe sometimes, you have those magical moments and you can tell because your heart, your mind, your spirit, your body just lined up and you're just such a yes to life and everything. You could be out on a field and just see the sky, you could be [xx] and just see a rainbow coming through the clouds or it can be kissing someone for the first time.

But those are fleeting moments and it's like we want to recapture those moments. So I think once you learn that you can recapture those moments, that’s what this is all about. I think people who get it find out and then they want to come back more and more and more and that’s the point. People like me, actually, I come here as often as I can and then you begin to live in this place a lot. It changes you.

Beth Crittenden: Would you share with us a recent time you were in Expanded Lover Space? What were some of the circumstances? What help to get you there? What did you like about it?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, let's see. I spend a lot of time in Expanded Lover Space. So OK, it's not a better if but when, picking a good one. Yesterday, I guess, I want to prepare for the talk I'm giving tonight. Yet, I hadn’t really gotten sensual for the day. So I just felt like before I got it to my head and started to conceive of what am I going to say to all of these people and stuff, I thought, “No, I'm really going to go into a place that’s really wonderful and amazing.” I couldn't even think about this talk and I just trusted my intuition.

So I said to my partner, “Let's have a date. I'm sorry, I can't think about it. I know it's an either or but we'll just have to work out the time.” So he took me on this amazing journey and I let go of all my goals and we went into this most incredible place. All I can say is that I felt very soft and full and rich. We round up finding the time to do what we had to do. All I can say is that when I come up tonight and teach, you know, I walk my talk. That felt good.

Beth Crittenden: I wish people could have seen you as you were describing that. The color of your eyes got even deeper blue matching your shirt and there is this nice misty feeling around you.

Let's say they're working long hours, let's say they have a child, they have a lot of details to attend to, how do you recommend they make the time for the space?

Dr. Patti Taylor: To go into lover space? Right. OK, great. That’s what I do teach and I think that’s one of the most exciting things I do teach about going into lover space is that you can make a pretty much very instantaneous shifts into lover space. So the first thing I would say is just--first of all, you make the decision and once you make the decision, it's as easy as there's a grounding breath that you can do to connect yourself up because we live in separation between our bodies our minds, our hearts, and our spirits. It's when we live in that separation in our minds dominate that we'll never be fully connected.

So we can simply connect ourselves up with one grounding breath and start. Then we can touch someone from that place of connection. Touch is the most integrating thing you can do. You cannot touch someone just with your mind or your heart or your body or your spirit. Touch cuts across all of those. Touch touches back and when you've learned to touch from Expanded Lover Space, from that place of integration, one touch, one hug and you can go all the way into a very Expanded Lover Space in one moment.

Beth Crittenden: Nice. So it can happen as soon as someone walks in the door.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Absolutely.

Beth Crittenden: Nice. What's the link of your work with Tantra? What are the principles that you follow that have meant a lot to you?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Everything I do is based in a deep Tantric foundation. I'm one of those people that believe there is no new information anyway, but it feels really good for me to just know that this is sourced in these roots. For me, it's Kashmiri Shayvist Tantra which actually taught how to reach enlightenment through the body going all the way back into the 6th century AD. This Tantra actually goes back, many believe, to the beginning of time and they actually used to have rituals and ceremonies to taste enlightenment through the body and they had many, many different practices to reach enlightenment through the body. So does that sound familiar already?

Beth Crittenden: Yes, no new information. I like that.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Absolutely. So that’s the kinds of things I did. These rituals, we can actually read them today. There's a great text by Avina Rogupta 13:25 in the Tantra Loca from the 10th century describing some of these things. Again, you want to integrate your body, your mind, your heart, and your soul. You want to integrate and have one vibration through you. You want to create the kind of context where you were in the vibration.

You were truly beyond separation, it's very big in the kind of Tantra we are. You're really into going past the polarity, past the judgment, going into that oneness. Then, when you're into that one feeling, that one vibration, then you can spread that feeling all the way up and down your body. It will just go past all your box and you can just keep spreading that feeling deeper and further and without limit.

Beth Crittenden: Thank you. We're getting ready to go to a break to support our sponsors. But I want to ask you one more question and that is what usually seems to get in the way, maybe one of the top three things that people might encounter as they're starting to share this work together?

Dr. Patti Taylor: What would be the obstacles? Definitely, some of the things that are possible in this work are for example, that I can feel you feeling me. Yes, that’s just a perfect example and we teach that. So for example, if I'm giving you pleasure, it's very, very simple for me to just get so much into my feeling that I begin to navigate your entire nervous system and read you as easily as I were reading a book with my 24 and just read you, read your energy. All I have to do is relax and surrender and let in that information and it's in neon, blinking giant coming through lights.

But people’s minds go, “Oh, that can't be happening.” So they block it out. So when the mind will stop judging, “No, this can't be true” and just let it in, there's so much available. So one of the things we do in this practice is we have people go, “Yes, this is happening.” We definitely have people verify, “No, I'm seeing this. This is happening” so we get reality on what's going on so people’s minds can keep remembering, “Oh, no, this is possible?”

Beth Crittenden: Great. Dr. Patti Taylor, thank you so much for being with us. We'll come back after a short break and get more into your process with your book and your channeling and I can't wait.

So this is “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” on Personal Life Media. I'm your host, Beth Crittenden, from One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco. Stay tuned.

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Beth Crittenden: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews”. I'm your host, Beth Crittenden, on Personal Life Media, coming to you from One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco where we weave orgasm into the world conversation and we are doing that today with Dr. Patti Taylor. She's written a couple of books, “The Enchantment of Opposites” and “Expanded Orgasm”. She has been researching this a long time. She's been fighting the good fight. Thank you, Dr. Patti.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You're welcome.

Beth Crittenden: How does it feel in your body to expand your orgasm to go past that place and then ride it?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Everyday is different, sometimes it can feel like it just gets more and more and more subtle. So there's a lot of energy and I train myself in different ways. So I know--like sometimes I train the guy to give me in certain ways, but I train myself and sometimes I'll teach myself so I'm reaching and reaching and reaching. I'm just till I get my whole body is just wrapping around the giver’s finger until I can't feel myself just extending out like three feet, five feet.

I've asked the giver of pleasure, “Would you please put your hand in a little further?” He's like, “Well, but my thumb is just on you.” I thought, “Oh, his hand wasn't inside of me. I had no idea.” That’s typical and sometimes it's like they're just barely, and I've  an experiment where they're just barely touching me and I've just had it where they're just touching me and it's so subtle. I'll go over the edge and I'll explode without moving.

I want to concentrate the feeling and make it so exquisite that I'm not even moving. I just wanted it to be an implosion and just it's the whole thing will happen and I'll just like have a little [xx] and then it's just like novas are going off inside of me. Sometimes it’s just the opposite, we're just like bombs and going off, bombs bursting in midair and just the whole sky is lighting up and everything in between. I just like variety, you know. Everyday is different.

Beth Crittenden: So do you think it's an energetic influence then? If someone just as their thumb in and it feels like their whole hand is inside of you, is that their energy extending? How do you think that works?

Dr. Patti Taylor: It's always a co-creation. I think, as a woman, I am training my nervous system always to reach and to feel. I think there's a lot of emphasis that’s usually focusing on the man as a giver. I don’t there's been enough that’s been given to what the woman can do actually as the receiver. I mean, there's a lot of talk about just surrender and surrender and I do that, too. I just play with the rule. This is my show, this is my game, this is my life; what am I going to do with it?

Beth Crittenden: Nice. Yes. Orgasm can be such an individual experience, like you're saying it's different for many people. So when you're writing your book and it sounds like you are really, deeply involved with writing your book, very dedicated to it; what information do you share that applies to people across the board.? How do you walk that line between your individual experience and then something that’s more universal?

Dr. Patti Taylor: In “Expanded Lovemaking” that’s going to be coming out, it's really going to focus on the principles of touch and integration. This is really going to focus on how to integrate your [xx] without going into lover space, about just living an integrated--going into that integrated place. Also, about the vibration, I just channeled another huge piece in the last two days and I actually just fell into a trance almost. It was really a very interesting which the problem I'm having with information just keeps dumping in.

But the vibration is very important. So when we can be vibratory which is also integrating a lot. So I really want to make this work accessible to a lot of people. What we learned when we're non-orgasmic, when we're non-genital, we prepare our bodies for that next level up because when we introduce the genitals, they're so much more charged. So I want to put the information on two levels. Who we are as a human being is the same, so we can learn everything non-genitally. Then, we practice and then when you had the genitals, you'll know what to do and then you already have the roadmap in place. So, hopefully, I've written this book that will take place on two levels.

Beth Crittenden: What do you mean by being vibratory?

Dr. Patti Taylor: In the Kashmiri Shayvist tradition, the divine vibration is shakti and we honor that. That’s the shakti kundalini and that’s our sacred divine energy. So for someone to become vibratory is so to unify and their soul to go into the vibration. Orgasm is a vibration and is to align with the divine vibration. People can go into their vibratory nature. We were born in a state of orgasm so we claim our own vibratory nature is a profound energetic state. It's blissful.

Beth Crittenden: If people want to find out more information about your work, about your upcoming book, how can they do that?

Dr. Patti Taylor: My website is ExpandedLovemaking.com, that’s probably the best way.

Beth Crittenden: Great. Then, do you travel with teaching, where can they see you in person?

Dr. Patti Taylor: I do teach, so I'm going to be in New York from time to time and I do teach in the Bay Area from time to time. The best thing is to subscribe to my website because then you'll be on my mailing list, so it's ExpandedLovemaking.com.

Beth Crittenden: Great. Is there anything you'd like to add before we wrap up?

Dr. Patti Taylor: Yes, I agree with you totally, bringing orgasm into the world is a wonderful thing to do and I think One Taste--for everything you all are doing--I honor you and totally share in your love of celebration of this beautiful energy. So thank you so much for having me here today.

Beth Crittenden: It's our pleasure entirely. Thank you.

Thanks for listening to this episode of “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” with Dr. Patti Taylor. For transcripts and text of this show, you can visit www.PersonalLifeMedia.com and check out all three “A Taste of Sex” podcasts.

To learn more about One Taste and the speakers that we have at the Tuesday night forum or the in-groups that we have on Wednesday nights or any of our workshops or courses, you can visit www.OneTaste.us.

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