Episode 22: Suzie Heumann Part 2 of 2
Suzie Heumann, "The Science of Orgasm: Part II"
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This is Part 2 of a 2-part podcast. If you’d like part one, you can find it a http://PersonalLifeMedia.com
Beth Crittenden: Hello everyone, and welcome to “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” I’m Beth Crittenden, representing OneTaste urban retreat center in San Francisco (http://onetastesf.com). On this edition of “A Taste of Sex” on Personal Life Media, we’re pleased to present Suzie Heumann. She’s the founder of http://Tantra.com. She’s the co-producer of two films, including “Ancient Secrets to Sexual Ecstasy and the Multi Orgasmic Response Training for Women and Men” which she did with Margot Annot (sp?), and she’s the author of three books: “The Everything Great Sex Book”, “The Everything Kama Sutra Book” and coming out this fall, “The Rules of Love: 64 Arts of Kama Sutra”.
Beth Crittenden: Join us today on “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” as Suzie Heumann tells us the distinction between Kama Sutra and Tantra. We’ll discuss the narrow biology of sex… how is that pain and pleasure are so intertwined, you’ll hear physically why that happens. Also, you’ll hear keys to fantastic touch: what every lover needs to know.
Beth Crittenden: Welcome back to “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” on Personal Life Media. I’m your host Beth Crittenden, and today from OneTaste urban retreat center in San Francisco, we’re speaking with Suzie Heumann. We’re now going to hear an exercise using sound, so find a private spot wherever you are, and let’s play together. Suzie, take it away.
Suzie Heumann: I like to give this example… This is actually one of the things that happened in an early part of the interview, when I went into spontaneous ejaculating and orgasm, this thing that was mentored for me that got me so excited about tantra, it was in my early years. So, the very first thing is, and just try this along with me, this is going to be a really short segment so, try this along with me. This is mostly how you hear women in pornography make their pleasure sounds. (demonstrates high breathy gasping). Now, if you try that yourself, you’ll notice that that sound is coming literally out of the top of your neck. It’s coming just from your head, up. Your head is cut off from your body, basically. (demonstrates) And you’re forcing it with quick little diaphragm movements. Now this is the sound that I heard and went back to our bedroom when we were making love, and decided to just try it, and I immediately went into multiple orgasm and ejaculation. Go ahead and try it with me. Don’t be embarrassed, just try it. And what you’re doing is you’re opening up your whole body cavity. (demonstrates lower, chesty, throaty moaning) So to do that right, you’re feeling the vibrations all the way down, vibrating practically your yoni, your genitals, so it fills your body cavity. That is the way you open up your body to feel maximum pleasure. So keep practicing that, because I guarantee you once you get into that deeper sound, it’s going to transform things for you. Now, consider that sound (demonstrates again, briefly). Some people would say ‘that sounds kind of painful’, well interestingly enough the new research that Beverly Whipple is doing (and others) is recognizing that the neurons are long, our neural connections sometimes they’re three feet, they’re five feet, they’re very long in our body. The neurons that go from our genitals to our brain are wrapped around the same neurons that go all over our body to our brain for pain. They are practically identical. Their offshoots, their roots, are completely intertwined. So what this means is, if you’re in pain, you have a very hard time consciously shifting to go into pleasure. “No, I have a headache, honey, no, I can’t make love right now”, you know, or whatever that is, you have a very difficult time looking at pleasure because the same receptors in a way are getting confused with the chemicals that are signalling pain. And if you’ve ever noticed your lover’s face, when they’re in orgasm, sometimes it looks like they’re in pain. Again, these neural connections, they’re all wrapped up in the same long bundles of fibres that are going up the spinal cord. So, teasing that world apart is very interesting, so if that deep sound sounds a little painful, in fact it’s that pleasure side of the coin opposite the pain. (And likewise with the facial structures).
Suzie Heumann: The clitoris is an interesting animal, actually the whole pelvic region, and I’m speaking about women here. The clitoris is likened to a small penis. It’s got a hood on it typically that’s kind of life foreskin, but that little pea-shaped thing sticking out of your body, women, is just a tiny portion of what it really is. There’s a shaft that goes back buried in the skin, which I’m sure you all investigate in some of your practices that you do.
Beth Crittenden: It’s tough work, but somebody’s got to do it.
Suzie Heumann: That’s right! So the shaft goes buried under the skin. It’s highly enervated, very very sensitive and pleasurable. And then it splits, and it goes into two let’s call them legs, that are buried into the pelvis. Sitting between those legs is the g-area, the spongy tissue that makes up the g-area. Also, the urethra that goes from our bladder to where we pee runs through the g-spot area and under the clitoris also. And the ejaculate that’s held in the g-spot area, the glands, actually uses the urethra to expel itself, which is why sometimes just at the beginning of true female ejaculation you will get just a hint of urine because the urine’s always backed up in there a little bit, and then it’s pushed out by the ejaculate which has absolutely no urine smell, taste, anything. It’s completely different, and in fact is the same composition as men’s semen minus the sperm. So the clitoris and the g-spot are enervated, they’re in the same area, and when you stimulate one you’re tending to stimulate the other. They’re filling up with blood, which brings oxygen to the area, which oxygenates everything and which causes more of the chemical interactions, the nitric oxide, the oxygen, which are needed to feed arousal and eventual orgasm. One of the ways besides direct stimulation of these areas, and gals and guys if you’re investigating your g-spot and you don’t quite know if it’s pleasure or pain or if you’ve found it, the ideal way to do it is on a scale of one to ten with ten being orgasm, and one being the resting state before you’re aroused, get that clit stimulated up to about an eight, and then stop and go look for your g-spot, because that blood, the nerves, it’s all in the same region and the g-spot is being engorged with blood also and oxygen, so it’s much easier to find and to feel when you’re aroused. Some people say go ahead and have the clitoral orgasm. I tend to disagree. You want to keep that area filled up with blood and at the height of its arousal, when you go in to investigate.
Suzie Heumann: So one of the ways to get more oxygen and blood flowing in that area is to use your brain and your mind to envision your yoni and your genitals and that whole area and actually go as far as “wow, it’s expanding, I’m feeling more”. In your mind you can go crazy over fantasizing and building the energy and focus around your own genital area. And you can also do some easy breathing patterns that are going to get more oxygen and blood into that region as you’re visioning it. And they would be things like panting and a long slow breath out, kind of like this: (demonstrates several seconds of panting followed by a long hissing breath out lasting several seconds). What happens is, you’re letting your air out slowly through your teeth, and it’s a little bit constrained, but what happens is you’re building your blood with that panting breath, and don’t do it for more than 15, 20 breaths at a time, and you can do a cycle of two or three if you want. It invigorates, enervates, oxygenates, gets the blood flowing faster as you’re visioning, and then the long slow breath out causes you to be able to hang in that energy instead of dispelling it fast with a quick breath out. So you’re learning to control your breath some, and you’re learning to control and hang on to your arousal. And you know there’s a lot more about how the clit and the g-spot work together, but they are definitely tied in together, so that little course of action often helps to understand that area more and arouse it better.
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Beth Crittenden: You’ve mentioned a practice that we have at OneTaste, I’ll just go ahead and clarify for the listeners because I haven’t mentioned it yet. There’s a shared practice at OneTaste called Orgasmic Meditation, which does focus on that upper-left-hand quadrant of the clitoris, stroking that lightly for 15 minutes at a time. So this is a practice that for me personally, I do several times a day. And I love how you’re bringing, we’ve used the word ‘englightenment’ and we’ve used ‘science’ here together. I find that my habit with sex before was to either be in my body and kind of unconscious, or thinking really carefully and really aware. So I’d love to hear from you how do you bring those together and just kind of surf the waves and be conscious at the same time.
Suzie Heumann: That’s an outrageously excellent question, Beth, because I think that’s the essence of Tantric practice. Tantra looks like sex to everybody, but sex is just a vehicle. What’s happening is that you learn these sex techniques, you become excellent at sex, at knowing your own body, at knowing what arouses you, how you’re going to orgasm, being prolific at expanding that orgasm, and then you let go of it, because your body knows what to do after a while. In particular, when you combine breath practices, touch practices, eye-gazing practices with your partner or maybe even with yourself in a mirror when you’re self-pleasuring. You begin to add other things that are then keys for you later. Being in your body but also witnessing isn’t quite like being in your mind. When we’re in our mind we think of thinking, we think the thinking process. We’re going from A to B to C to D. But when you’re good at sex techniques, and you’re good at understanding your own body and its arousal system, and you can witness yourself in long pleasure by just going “Oh, look at what I’m doing right now, I’m in wonderment about that”. Let that thought go. “Oh, wow, here’s a little blip. Maybe if I do my fast panting breath and the long slow breath, I can play with this moment, and I can expand it, or maybe I’ll just exquisitely touch my own breasts while my partner’s pleasuring me, and I can key that nipple stimulation with my building arousal, and then maybe next time or maybe in a couple of weeks if I do that five times in the next two weeks, I can just simply touch my nipples when I’m on the phone with somebody and I can get kind of up to that level four or five on the scale of one to ten!” You’re playing with witnessing what your body’s doing, not so much dissecting what it’s doing.
Beth Crittenden: And how does that translate into communication between partners?
Suzie Heumann: Well, communication’s really important, because if you’re having partnered sex, it’s adamantly important that you tell your partner what you love, what you like, what works for you, what doesn’t work for you. And none of us want to be mind readers. We all want to know pleasure ourselves, deeply, and there is a growing awareness of looking at the God/Goddess in each of us and treating our partner as that part of the Yin/Yang symbol, that integral black and white woven together that makes a whole circle, the yin of the female, the yang of the male, the yang in me, the male part of me as a female, the female part of my male partner, to make an integral whole person. So we need to communicate what we love, because we’re not going to be able to expand with that other, that partner unless we know how to pleasure each other, we know how to hang out in that pleasure together, and we know how to move our energy to bring us into that oneness space, where our egos dissolve, our minds dissolve, and we are just simply hanging out in existence. That’s what I would call the pure bliss state. And that’s the hope of achievement in the sex practices and the connection practices that will allow us to get better and better at hanging in that space.
Beth Crittenden: Thank you.
Suzie Heumann: And I think that’s the healing part of the planet. That work is for our families, our friends, the planet, our relations, the work we decide to do in the world. All of that is so tied to the healing and understanding in our own spirit and body.
Beth Crittenden: That’s great. And before we wrap up the show is there anything else you’d like to add?
Suzie Heumann: Oh, gosh, we could probably go on forever.
Beth Crittenden: Yeah!
Suzie Heumann: Let’s see. I want to say something about touch. We all just need, from the moment we’re babies we need touch, and we tend to not ask for it, not get it as much, attach sex to it, whatever. But touch people as much as you possibly can, and ask them if you can touch them, and touch yourself. And I think one of the keys to fantastic touch is that if you focus on your own fingertips when you’re touching someone, if you can in fact feel the erotic pleasure in your own fingertips, the person receiving your touch can’t help but have an outrageous experience. If you’re touching for them, and focussing on them, that’s not going to work so much, because you can’t feel their body. But if you focus on your own pleasurable, almost taking of touch, for your own fingertips, they’re going to have an outrageous experience.
Beth Crittenden: What a nice gift to leave our listeners, thank you!
Suzie Heumann: You’re welcome
Beth Crittenden: And now you’ve heard it here first from Suzie Heumann: You need to have sex to heal the planet!
Suzie Heumann: Yes!
Beth Crittenden: It’s your mission and your responsibility!
Suzie Heumann: That’s right! Go for it!
Beth Crittenden: This has been “A Taste of Sex: Guest Speaker Interviews” on Personal Life Media. I’m your host BC joined today by SH. Thank you so much for your time.
Suzie Heumann: Thank you Beth, this has been really fun.
Beth Crittenden: So, if you would like text and transcripts of the show, you can visit “A Taste of Sex” at http://www.personallifemedia.com. If you would like to email us with questions or feedback you can use the address [email protected]. You can also learn more about orgasmic meditation, and OneTaste urban retreat center which is an amazing place with a massage studio, yoga every hour on the hour, an organic café, and a wide variety of educators on sensuality and connection. Our website is http://www.onetastesf.com.
Beth Crittenden: Thanks so much for listening and join us next time!
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